Diy graduation flower bouquet | | DIYs for flower watering? DM for 🦤

I guess I've come full circle on Sugaring. I had a wonderful 1st date today with a lady from WhatsYourPrice: 22F, just graduated from a top UC (Univ. of California) school with a double STEM major, on her way to medical school. We talked until the restaurant closed and kicked us out. I asked her to have dinner with me again and she was very eager. Nothing in her profile suggested sugar: just "casual dating, looking to meet new people, networking, etc". I raised the idea of a sugar relationship and she wasn't comfortable with that, just wants to date for now. I think we had a good connection. Why? Well, a bouquet of flowers and simply listening to her and focusing on her the entire date made a big impression compared to the guys her own age. I told her "Look, I'm 53. If you date me, my goal for us is that you'll say "wow, I wish there was a 22 year old version of this guy. I'd date him in a second". She said "That's exactly what I was thinking when I saw you with the roses. Nobody my age gives me flowers".
Maybe she's a scammer but i doubt it. She gave me her real name and I googled her. Yes, she graduated from UCx, she's on her sorority social media page, going to medical school (with pictures, same girl). She could easily get an SD if she wanted one by simply going on Seeking and asking for it.
BUT, after learning so much on this forum, it occurs to me that a 53M dating a 22F without sugar is not sustainable. Sooner or later she's going to realize "Waitaminute, this guy is literally older than my father. This is crazy". Sugar justifies the relationship so that it makes sense, investing in her future. I'm thinking of just continuing to give her the WYP date incentive for future dates, whether she asks for it or not and explaining why. Thoughts?

So I'm aware that lily's are cat killers, I'll start with that. I just moved back home, as my parents bought a new house closer to my work. My cats are in my room, with the door closed because it's not quite time to introduce them to their dogs just yet, and they're still unpacking. Their realtor gave them a bouquet with lilys as a good gesture for selling their old house. They're on the other side of the house(about 30-40 feet away with a long hall separating the living room and my room. There's not a lot of foot traffic from where they are to where my room is located. And they're not underneath an intake for the central A/C. I would hate to have them chuck the flowers considering they're sentimental(the old house was a childhood house, had for 23 years). Am I getting too over anxious and worried, or is it a valid concern? Again, the only people coming into my room is basically me. And the cats won't escape the room.
Update: I talked to them, and we put them in a glass fixture

So I'm aware that lily's are cat killers, I'll start with that. I just moved back home, as my parents bought a new house closer to my work. My cats are in my room, with the door closed because it's not quite time to introduce them to their dogs just yet, and they're still unpacking. Their realtor gave them a bouquet with lilys as a good gesture for selling their old house. They're on the other side of the house(about 30-40 feet away with a long hall separating the living room and my room. There's not a lot of foot traffic from where they are to where my room is located. And they're not underneath an intake for the central A/C. I would hate to have them chuck the flowers considering they're sentimental(the old house was a childhood house, had for 23 years). Am I getting too over anxious and worried, or is it a valid concern? Again, the only people coming into my room is basically me. And the cats won't escape the room.

The rest of the summer customers, a couple cuties AND Pangolin Mama!!! I’ve been waiting for her for weeks now. I’m so in love with Guru he’s so cute!

It's the last DIY I need! I can trade with bells, NMTs, fruit, resources or DIYs!

Regular DIY

Bamboo stopblock
Bamboo wall decoration
Basement flooring
Cabin wall
Cardboard chair
Cherry umbrella
Cherry wall
Cutting board
Dharma
Doghouse
Festival-lantern set
Festive wrapping paper
Flower stand
Forbidden altar
Frozen fence
Fruit basket
Fruit wreath
Giant ornament
Glowing-moss headband
Gold bars
Gold-nugget mining car
Golden dung beetle
Golden garden bunny
Golden seat
Golden vase
Golden wristwatch
Honeycomb wall
Iceberg flooring
Iron doorplate
Iron hanger stand
Ironwood bed
Ironwood cart
Ironwood clock
Ironwood dresser
Juicy-apple tv
Knitted-grass backpack
Light bamboo rug
Log bed
Log wall-mounted clock
Lucky gold cat
Magazine rack
Medium wood partition
Mini golden dharma
Modern wood wall
Natural garden table
Orange rug
Orange umbrella
Ornament wreath
Pan flute
Pansy table
Peach dress
Peach hat
Peach umbrella
Peach wall
Pear hat
Pear rug
Pond stone
Pretty tulip wreath
Purple pansy crown
Rustic-stone wall
Sandy-beach flooring
Shell wreath
Ski-slope flooring
Stacked bottle crates
Stacked-wood wall
Steel flooring
Steel-frame wall
Tall garden rock
Tea table
Tiki torch
Timber doorplate
Wild log bench
Wooden chair
Wooden simple bed
Wooden toolbox

Food DIY
Apple pie
Cherry pie
Fruit salad
Jarred mushrooms
Mixed-fruits crepe
Mushroom pizza
Mushroom salad
Orange pie
Orange tart
Pickled veggies
Pizza margherita
Potato curry
Potato galette
Pumpkin soup
Seafood salad
Tomates al ajillo
Veggie cupcakes

I did not have the best relationship with my parents during my teenage years but now as I’m almost 30 I have gotten a lot closer with my mom since I moved away. I felt bad for leaving my brother behind because I was basically the only adult figure in his life he would respect and listen to. Whenever my parents needed him to do something they would call me to call him, I had to help him with Job interview prep, help cook meals that he would be able to eat because he’s picky. At the time I didn’t think anything of it because he’s my little brother. My brother is only 1 year younger than me. Present day, he has a lot of anger issues, depression, and possibly undiagnosed bipolar disorder. The first year I left home I felt so guilty for leaving him, he’d call me saying he’s sad and has no motivation to do anything. We came up with a plan for him to get his act together: start making his own meals, going to the gym, applying for jobs, etc. Things were good. I talked to my mom everyday and my dad once a week and my brother every once in a while. Whenever I would come home to visit, my brother and I would spend a lot of time together. Flash forward 3 years later, my brother was visiting to get lasik eye surgery done because it’s cheaper here and he booked his flight on his own (which he usually doesn’t do) and he sent me his itinerary and it was for 2 months… I called immediately saying 2 months is way too long for just us two in my house. We bicker quite a lot when it’s just us and we both have tempers but he assured me it’d be okay, he’ll keep to himself a lot.
Over the 2 months we did have little tiffs here and there because I was trying to use this time to help him be an independent adult who would be able to live on his own. On his last night here, he got very very drunk and we got into a verbal altercation which led into a physical one. My brother beat me and I had to call the cops on him. He broke my bedroom door trying to get into my room when I locked him out. Meanwhile my boyfriend was on FaceTime with me the whole time having to witness and hear everything without being able to do anything to help. The cops came and asked if I wanted to press charges, obviously I said no because I would’ve had to bail him out since he knows no one here. He calmed down after the cops left. I didn’t realize he had called my dad and told him that I called the cops on him for nothing and told him some twisted version of the story. the next morning, my brother and I walked by each other in my living room and he didn’t say a word to me. I finished work that day and immediately drove to my bfs (3 hours away) I felt guilty for leaving my brother because I took the only car and he would’ve had to Uber to the airport so before I left I bought him fast food to last the night. My dad had called me asking what happened, I briefly told him I was still very shaken up so I didn’t go into too much detail. My dads only fcking comment was “you called the cops?! That’s going to bring down your property value” LOL right. So I immediately hung up the phone and didn’t talk to my parents for a week or two because I knew I needed time to cool off in order to handle a convo with them and I didn’t want to hate them. Meanwhile the next day my brother sent me a text “I’m sorry” to that I replied for what? And he said for hitting you. Fcking pathetic ass excuse for an apology.
A couple weeks later I talk to my parents and they understand what happened and swore to me they’d never give another dime to my brother and they really yelled at him. That summer I came home and didn’t speak a word to my brother, I just couldn’t and didn’t feel safe around him. It made me feel sad and guilty but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Then when I came home for thanksgiving and christmas, my mom was trying to force and guilt trip me into talking to my brother. I told her if she keeps pushing me it’ll make me never want to talk to him. My parents said I should help my brother find a job while I’m home (he’s been unemployed for 2 years); I told them to F off he’s an adult and I have a full time job I need to do while I’m visiting, maybe in your free time they said. Some nights when my parents were asleep and my brother would come into the living room I’d slowly make small talk then eventually it led into me asking if he wants to watch a movie with me and into me inviting him to the gym with me. First gym interaction was him screaming at me for parking too close to a car, normally I’d retaliate but I just didn’t let him get to me so I just ignored him. Our relationship will never be the same but I was still able to talk to him occasionally.
Fast forward to February of this year. My Cousin had a huge Asian wedding. We all got very drunk and in the Uber home it was my mom, dad, brother, uncle, my bf, and me. Not sure how the conversation happened but my brother started talking about how he respects women and that triggered my bf who’s very productive of me. This led into a screaming match in the Uber, my parents and I both trying to calm my bf and brother down. When we arrived at the hotel and got out, my bf punched my brother in the nose and he was bleeding and the whole Asian family started screaming and crying. Everyone found out my brother beat me and my bf was trying to defend me. My bf and I immediately left the hotel and took an Uber back to the air bnb where we packed our things and got a hotel room for the rest of the weekend.
I received calls and texts from my parents and brother saying it’s my brother or my bf, I had to choose and if I chose my bf my brother would never talk to me again and my parents will never want to be In the same room as my bf ever again. My parents both said they loved my bf and could’ve loved him more than my brother but now they can never look at him again. They also said they thought him and I were going to take care of my brother after they passed away. My bf and I completely agree that it should’ve never gotten physical. I was sad to see my brother hurt but in a way he did kind of deserve it? I mean he had punched me in the face and legs and arms when he had beat me and I was unable to fight back? So is it payback idk?
My dad and I still talk from time to time but he still despises my bf and will send me texts from time to time saying he doesn’t trust him. My mom and brother have not once called me. I sent my mom a bouquet of flowers on Mother’s Day, I get a text “I’ll always love you”. I had texted my brother apologizing for what happened and that my bf and I truly do care about him but we just want him to get better. I told him if he starts seeing a therapist to help resolve the anger issues I’d be open to trying to rebuild our relationship- no response.
My bf and I have been together for 3 years, we have 3 dogs and a home together. He is my person. It’s been really hard for me because I used to be so close to my family. I’ve thought about being the bigger person and giving my mom and brother a call but part of me thinks what’s the point? Why do I have to be the bigger person? Shouldn’t my mom want to talk to me? Shouldn’t she call me? I just feel like they’re choosing my brother over me.

So I wanted to get some advice on a DIY postbacc, and whether it is needed. I graduated last year and am studying for the MCAT. I will be applying next year. My cum. GPA currently sits at a 3.50, and my science GPA is a 3.1. I have a D in ochem 2 that I did not retake during undergrad, so I feel as though I need to retake this as well. My question is, is a postbacc necessary for me, or would you just retake ochem 2 only? There are times I feel like I can potentially be a competitive applicant, but the science GPA is an issue.

Ah Boi asks Ah Girl to go to the prom with him. Ah Girl says yes. On the day of the prom, Ah Boi is getting ready to take Ah Girl to the prom. First he goes out to rent a tuxedo, but there’s a long tuxedo line at the shop and it takes forever, but he eventually manages to rent a tuxedo. Next, Ah Boi goes to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits for a long time but he eventually buys a bouquet of flowers. Ah Boi also wants to rent a limousine to impress Ah Girl. Unfortunately, there’s a long limousine line at the car rental office, but Ah Boi decides to be patient and queues up and finally manages to get the job done. Finally, it's almost time for the prom. Ah Boi wears his rented tuxedo, brings the beautiful bouquet, and picks up Ah Girl in the limousine. At the prom, the two are dancing happily and Ah Girl is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks Ah Boi to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and guess what? There’s no punchline.

brake tapper campsite sign cave (diy or already made) counter chair counter table dessert case dress mannequin flower display case foosball table gurney inflatable bird ring iv drip karaoke system outdoor folding table outdoor generator plush massage chair retro ice cream case retro massage chair retro radiator scoreboard spooky lantern set stage lights standing electric sign standing shop sign step ladder treadmill weight bench
In exchange I have some bells, NMT, various fruits, veggies, materials available for trade.

Hi! Not sure if this is a potential issue or if I am overly concerned...
Was gifted a lovely bouquet, unfortunately it had a lily in it:
bouquet pic
Initially I didn't know lilies were as toxic as they are, otherwise I wouldn't have even let it in the house :(
I watched my cat with it when I placed it down, I never let him chew on any plants for toxicity reasons and have no houseplants in general anyways, am generally cautious
He sniffed all around, didn't seem too interested in the lily, at most his nose might have brushed against a petal or leaf. Mostly played around with the grass strands (not sure what those are)
The lily has no visible pollen on it, I guess removed by the florist, but presumably there could be residue.
Immediately after searching lily toxicity, I threw away the flowers, washed all surfaces it came in contact to, vacuumed, and gave our cat a bath and washed his face with a rag. Afterwards gave him his favorite food, treats, and a few syringes of water
He's acting completely normal. If he were to develop kidney issues, would there be guaranteed signs? Should watching him for symptoms at home be sufficient? Am I being overly concerned?
Just so worried about my baby, want to make sure I do best by him

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ mention of various forms of abuse including SA, mention of suicide in some detail, mention of death
PREFACE
I understand this is the internet and I cannot expect people to have grace or mercy on me for any of this. All I can do is ask that if you’re going to give me your input, that you try and be as kind as possible. My heart is hurting and I really don’t feel I am in a place to hear that I need to entirely -drop- this therapist right now. My background of abuse and trauma will hopefully explain why that is, but I am not ready to let go. I am mostly posting this to vent, but also hoping that if anyone does have any advice that could help me even just in the short term with coping, that it will be gently shared.
BACKGROUND
I will try and keep this as short and sweet as possible but there’s a whole lot of history here. I am 27F, and I grew up in an unimaginably abusive home. Sex trafficking, severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse from my father and my older brother (very patriarchal family), and a slew of very complicated and scary health issues including a liver disease and cancer. My family set me up to never be able to move out or live independently because they genuinely have viewed me to be their property. The severity of this can hopefully be summed up in just a few example:
Was never allowed to even get myself a glass of water in the kitchen or learn to cook Was not potty trained and had to rely on my mom to go to the bathroom into my teenage years Drinking only from sippy cups until teenage years Location monitored on my phone Every credit card transaction / finance watched closely Could not move away from college
My brother was allowed and able to do all these things, but I was not. My entire life, teachers and “adults” that were supposed to catch these things did not even bat an eye. They instead placed me in remedial classes and ESL assuming that I just had a learning disability or a language barrier (which I do not). When I told teachers in the past about my abuse, it was handled extremely poorly and no authorities ever got involved. My life felt worthless; meaningless. Like I could scream from the rooftops of my school that I was being abused and no one cared.
This past January, I did the unthinkable. I left my family and got my own apartment. Friends, therapists, coworkers, everyone who remotely knew me has been pushing me to do this for years and I genuinely thought I would die in my situation. I developed severe Stockholm syndrome so a huge part of my lack of leaving was due to my own internal thought patterns. I did it through the help of my current therapist, which is my… fourth? therapist that’s attempted to help. The last ones took advantage of how naive I was and hurt me (one of them has been arrested). This therapist, however, invested everything to get me out. He really wanted to see me free. And I am forever grateful for him.
MY CURRENT THERAPIST & BACKSTORY
I started seeing this therapist early in 2022 when I was still living with my family. I became severely bedridden and could not even go to the bathroom without my mom or dad escorting me. My anxiety and panic were at an all time high. I was on a leave of absence from work, and this therapist was the only reason I had for HAVING to get out of bed and forcing myself to drive, and most days I couldn’t even do that. He was patient, compassionate, and was willing to go to great lengths to help. Though mostly irrelevant, he’s 45M. He got into school for counseling later in life so when I started seeing him, he was just an intern under the director of the practice. At the time, the director of the practice was seeing an old time friend of mine (who happened to recently become my coworker). My friend had gotten concerned about why I wasn’t showing up to work and why I was struggling so much. I didn’t want to open up to her about it because I couldn’t open up to anyone at the time. However, my friend asked the director of the place if she knew anything about me. The director broke into my therapist’s file under the guise of “he is my intern, I can look at his stuff” and then relayed all of that information to my friend. It became an entire case against the state board and I fought tooth and nail to get that director in trouble. In the end, nothing was done and in retaliation, the director fired my therapist and I had to wait until my therapist found a new job in order to see him (he was pre-graduation by just a few weeks so he couldn’t ethically talk to me until he had another practice). During the worst moments of my life, I was without my therapist (no fault of his, and he checked on me frequently), but it was really only for a few weeks. To me that was a lot since I had been going 2-3 times a week, sometimes 4 because of my situation.
THE CRYSTAL AND THE SAGE
My therapist had gone out of town briefly and came back with a crystal he got. He told me when he purchased it he knew he wanted to give it to someone. And he said that it made him think of me and he wants me to have it. He said he wants it to be a reminder that he cares and others care and that it represents my truth to hold close. Months later, he went on another trip and said he got sage that someone gave him that was super special and he wanted me to have it. He was very invested in making sure I felt like he cares and has my back. I was never into spirituality in the same way as him so I respectfully accepted his kindness but kind of scoffed at him. It became more of a joke.
HOW MY BROTHER AND MY THERAPIST STARTED TEXTING
The director of the previous practice had tried to harass me with a fake number, as well as to my therapist. She wanted to try and get us to drop the case, I guess? When I continued to get texts from fake numbers, my therapist asked me to give him the number that was blowing up my phone. It turns out, timing was absolutely terrible. My brother (who moved out of state) was the one who started harassing me. My parents/brother allowed me to go to therapy to “work on my panic attacks” but they began hating the fact that my therapist was helping me become independent. My brother was outraged and texted me anonymously to kill myself. Because I still thought at the time that it was the director of the place, I went ahead and shared the number with my therapist. And that’s how it all began.
THE VIDEO THREATS FROM MY THERAPIST
Things got out of hand over the months. My therapist felt extremely protective of me and a “savior complex” kicked in. The reasoning for this is worth noting / important. My therapist lost his sister to suicide when they were young, and he also lost his father shortly after. His sister apparently had also been assaulted and my therapist had mentioned to me before how he views me as a friend, someone to protect, like a sister. He admitted his struggle with transference and said his main and only concern was to get me to move out of my family’s house. To take a leap of faith. He was desperate to do that. He offered to help me get an apartment near him so he could help me out, he offered to babysit my dog for me (my golden retriever is my emotional support animal that my parents have used as a bargaining chip), he offered to see me in therapy 5 times a week if I just moved. I just wasn’t ready. But my brother would not relent.
My therapist still does not know that I know this, but my brother showed me some of the videos my therapist sent him. Three separate threatening videos. In them, my therapist was shirtless with a ski mask on saying he was part of the FBI and that if my brother didn’t behave himself, that he would have his people come after him. My brother said that I was threatening him and that if I didn’t get this man to stop, it would be trouble. My therapist got extremely activated and decided to take it as a challenge.
My therapist also at some points asked my brother “how to assault me” because he wanted to know what my brother did/wanted him to admit it. But if an outsider saw the texts, it would seem like my therapist was asking to participate in assaulting me. It looked HORRIBLY incriminating.
THE MOVE OUT
I got the courage one night. Drove my dog over to my therapist’s house and moved in with a friend while I apartment hunted. My therapist was incredibly proud of me and poured so much love and care into my dog. I truly felt hopeful and optimistic and I eventually applied for my own apartment and got approved. Because of severe Stockholm syndrome and lack of knowing how to do ANYTHING, I would end up visiting home (somehow, they allowed that and I did not die!)
THE ASSAULT
Long story short (I am not super comfortable going into this part), people from the temple I was sex trafficked in (linked with my family), showed up and assaulted me at gun point in a van. I told my therapist. He was extremely upset on my behalf and called the police. He told me it was essential that I get restraining orders and that I stop going over to my parents house even if I have Stockholm syndrome. He said he could no longer be patient on that because I was actively being attacked. I told him I was still too nervous to go no contact and I could tell he was frustrated with me.
WHEN MY THERAPIST SECRETLY SAT OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT
My brother / someone from the temple decided to start things up once he figured out the person he was texting earlier was in fact my therapist. He threatened my therapist and challenged him to meet up. My brother was bluffing but my therapist took it seriously. My therapist arranged to meet him outside my apartment at 9pm that night. I had a weird gut feeling so I texted my therapist that night and asked him not to do anything stupid, but I had no idea what he had up his sleeve. Without telling me, my therapist sat outside my apartment waiting for my brother (who never showed) to meet him. Why my therapist chose to meet him RIGHT OUTSIDE my new residence was extremely irresponsible.
I went to take my dog out to the bathroom that night and my friend and I were hanging out. She noticed a dark car with someone sitting and staring with a mask on. We walked closer and it was my therapist. I yelled at him because I was so worried he would’ve gotten shot or attacked and that he would get hurt as a result of trying to fight. My therapist apologized and was so embarrassed. He awkwardly said “you weren’t supposed to know about this…” and drove off full force. We hopped in my friends car and followed him to wherever he tried to run off to. He then promised me he would leave. About 20 mins later, my friend and I decide to go out to get food and we see him sitting in another part of my apartment complex still ready to fight. I was so upset that he lied to me multiple times and that he was risking his life. What would’ve happened if he got attacked? But my therapist apologized again and said “I just need to look him in the eye” implying he was ready to kill.
THE DREAMS ABOUT MY THERAPIST’S LATE SISTER
As my therapist had told me, his sister had passed away from suicide when they were young. He admitted to have transference in a way where he viewed me in a sisterly way. For a while, I continually had dreams about his sister and it was very weird. I told him I don’t believe in a lot of things like crystals or burning sage but that these dreams felt incredibly vivid. In the dreams, her sister was assuring me that my therapist was sent in my life to be the brother I couldn’t have. That he was sent to me as a brother, and I to him as a sister.
THE HOSPITAL
Just within the span of days after he showed up to my apartment, I was hospitalized due to complications with my liver, and I reached out to my family for help. My therapist was upset with me for interacting with my family at all. My therapist even visited me in the hospital and said that I don’t need to call my family for help and that I have him and my other friends who will have my back. After I was discharged from the hospital, I asked my therapist if I could take my dog back for at least a weekend (he took my dog in while I went to the hospital in order to help me. He said he would hang onto him while I recovered and caught up on rest). So when he gave me my dog for the weekend, out of guilt, I took my dog with me to visit my family. I just felt the need to run back. My dad manipulated me a lot about missing my dog so I felt obligated.
MY THERAPIST’S FRUSTRATION
I admitted to my therapist that I had taken my dog to my parents for the weekend (after I already gave him my dog back). My therapist was so upset about it. He had put so much love and time into my dog and helping me, and then I took him back to the hands of my abusers. This is when him pulling back began. He felt like he was doing all of this extraneous stuff for me and I was just taking steps back.
THE SUICIDE METHOD
As he got over his frustration a little bit, I became very suicidal to the point where I purchased a rope and planned it out. I made him the beneficiary of my bank accounts as a thank you to him for everything. He told me he would do what he could to help me. He said I could bring my dog back to him if I just need a life break. He didn’t know I had the rope but he knew I was thinking suicide. When I went back to drop my dog off, I admitted I had a rope. I gave it to him. He realized I was genuinely going to kill myself and was so grateful I told him the truth. He told me he would be there for me to help me through it. Showed me grace and compassion and everything.
THE MAJOR PULLBACK
No warning. No indication. My therapist immediately pulled back. Hard. He told me to call him later that week (I usually have therapy 3x a week but he was out of town), and so I did as he said and called him to update him. He immediately flipped out. “Ugh, I cannot be in anything extra to your therapy space. I am going through things on my own and I need to pull back. I can’t take calls any hour of the day anymore. I can’t take your dog. You don’t even listen to me anyway. You do what you want and go to your parents. So, I don’t know what to say. I am committed to you as your therapist but that’s it. If you feel suicidal outside of that, go to a hospital and get sedated.” I was absolutely crushed and felt so awful and guilty like I did something wrong. I didn’t want to bother him. I didn’t want to lose him. He made me feel loved and cared for (platonically, as a brother) and I felt so safe with him. Until this moment. He was very hung up on the fact that I kept going home to my family despite his efforts.
After calming down he explained how he feels like he needs to step back because his emotions shouldn’t affect my therapy and that he’s doing it to help me. But it felt very selfish. He over exerted himself by showing up to my apartment and sending threatening videos when I never asked for it, all because HE wanted to. And now he pulls back because HE wants to. None of his decisions were based on what I would feel, but what would best serve him.
THE RELAPSE AND THE DREAMS
Because my therapist stepped back so hard, I relapsed and said “screw it” / went back to my parents. I still had my apartment but I backslid majorly.
During this time I was so distraught. This therapist made me feel supported. And no, I didn’t attach onto him in an unhealthy way where he became my only hope. But he did feel like the brother I wished I had, and he felt like such a deep and important part of my life and I was devastated.
I started having dreams again about his sister and I cried. I felt like I was given this gift and then it was taken away.
THE BACK AND FORTH
My therapist began telling me that he thinks I should have additional support in this season especially while he “takes a break from extraneous stuff” with me. He said when he was younger and going through things, he had two therapists.
A week later I told him I found a second therapist and he said: “ummm I don’t know. I feel protective over that. Maybe don’t get a second one. Find a support group but I don’t want you seeing another one.”
I stood my ground and said I might still find one and he said “well then make sure the other one is a woman and is closely in touch with me.”
It felt very wishy washy and he did a lot of similar things like this for a while.
But when I listened to him and decided against a second therapist, he pulled back again. He said he wouldn’t take any more texts or calls outside of session once again and made me feel like an obsessed freak when I wasn’t even really doing much at all. Or asking for anything.
VISITING MY THERAPIST’S LATE SISTER’S GRAVE
My therapist is a famous author and singesong writer. Online, it’s very easy to find his sister’s name and I did some digging and found out where her grave is located. I was feeling really awful, like I was grieving the loss myself which is so incredibly psychotic. I know. But it more so felt like I was grieving the loss of this brotherly love I once felt from my therapist. But it’s been a couple months at this point and he still refuses to take texts or calls, and is very argumentative and angry in sessions. And I just wanted to take some flowers to the grave in private, not tell him, and just accept that he can’t be what I needed him to be for me.
MY FAMILY FINDS OUT
When I went to the cemetery, the place was huge. So I had to go into the office and ask for the location of his sister’s grave. They gave me a piece of paper with her name and grave location on it and I eventually just threw it in my wallet. My dad stumbled upon my wallet while I was at home one of the days and noticed the last name and asked me if I was still seeing my therapist. They don’t like him for obvious reasons. But I admitted to my parents that I do still see my therapist and that he’s more like family than they’d ever be. They abused me. But I stood in my truth. At the end of the day I will not deny that my therapist DID help me immensely and if that means I have to be abused for the truth, I’ll do it.
MY THERAPIST INSISTS ON INFORMATION
He knew that I was hiding something. I told him my family was abusive again but I didn’t say why. He spent an entire session saying he needs to know what happened. I said no multiple times and that I didn’t want to talk about it. He used language like “you have to tell me before you leave my office” and “if you care so much about me you’ll tell me.” He even told me he was going to take my hand and promise me that he won’t react. He held it and looked me in the eye and promised he’d meet me with compassion. I refused. He then asked me if I’ve been lying to him. Deceptive. It broke me and I felt like it was just such an insult. But I stayed strong and he apologized for bothering me about it.
Last week comes around and it feels like such a hindrance. He’s continuing to be short with me and not answer my texts, not taking emergency calls, and just… is continuing to be cold. I even texted him that I was genuinely feeling suicidal and he told me he can’t help me outside of session. Period.
So then after my latest session, I told him I’d text him what happened because I was too uncomfortable to say it. I told him I visited his sister’s grave, about the dreams, everything. I said I felt really hurt at his pullback and how it felt selfish.
He responded by gaslighting me endlessly and it absolutely crushed me furthermore. He responded as follows:
“Ok crystals and dreams? I don’t believe in them. I don’t believe that was my sister. I don’t know how I feel about you visiting her grave. I am not your brother and I can’t be your brother. And yes it was a nice gesture I guess but clearly you are focusing on the wrong thing. Let’s not talk about the weeds and the details. Let’s focus on you.” And completely shut down any further conversation about it.
In the past I have insisted and begged him to process him showing up at my apartment with me because I am still shaken up. He just always says “I never should’ve gotten involved like that but we are NOT going to talk about this ever again” and has always refused to hear how I felt about it.
He went back on vacation this past weekend and refused to take my call when I needed help, refused to text me, or anything. I called off work two days in a row because I was so devastated at his anger toward me and the gaslighting. It felt so unfair. I wanted to talk to him over the weekend because I was genuinely so hurt and felt like I truly lost him. He didn’t care.
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE?
I had an appointment in person tonight. First in person one since I told him about everything. I am embarrassed and feel so guilty that I visited his sister’s grave behind his back. It makes me feel psychotic. But at least I was honest and didn’t wait until I got caught / did not gaslight him.
I have a major surgery tomorrow and he won’t help me with my dog. I’ve gone back to my parents for now until I am recovered.
I want to tell him how hurt I am but I have tried that. He never understands. I miss him. As a brother.
I ended up going to session and he asked me why I feel off in therapy. He literally said “other than me slightly having to pull back right now what have I really done?”
I don’t know if I ever can get him to see my side or my pain in this.
FINAL THOUGHTS / MISC
I was seeing him three times a week and one day he randomly cancelled my third session, and every week after “something came up” that day and he just kept canceling. Eventually he just exploded and said “I DO NOT work that third day anymore.” Without giving me any explanation or time to adjust or heads up. Like he clearly needed a break.
I was in the hospital just now for my surgery and I wanted so badly to reach out to him for support. I couldn’t. My heart hurts knowing that I once had this brotherly love in my life that I had lost.
Even now in session he uses the analogy of “if you were my sister” or “if you were my wife” after knowing I am clearly struggling with accepting he has pulled back. He used to say I am his friend over and over and now he just acts so cold. I know he’s trying to maintain boundaries. I know. But too late. He screwed with my emotions SO much.
I have horrible, horrible OCD and my brain keeps trying to do stupid things to fix this. I also keep asking myself over and over:
1. Will he ever take my dog back if I really needed him to? (obviously I can find other pet sitters but my brain is so hung up on —— if I asked him in an emergency situation, would he refuse?)
2. Will he ever stop ignoring my texts? I’ve reached out to him about being suicidal. About being in a state of panic. Previously, he would call me and stay on the phone with me while I got through an attack. I AM NOT EXPECTING THIS. I do not expect him to be available on demand. But his SUDDEN extreme pull back makes me think that I was the one that did something wrong.
3.Does this mean he emotionally does not care about me and my situation anymore? Did he just turn his emotions off? Did he ever even care? He would make me send him a text every day listing three things I am grateful for as a means to check in. He would also randomly send me quotes from books he was reading that he thought I could relate to. All facilitated by him. All of this has randomly stopped and it makes me feel like he hates me. Is it at all possible that this is a reflection of him not caring?
4.Is his pullback a temporary extreme and will he readjust and go back to being there for me? Or is this a permanent shift, likely? Can I expect things to even out or go back to him investing care and time? Again I KNOW the focus is on me having to do that for myself. I know I CAN move on from this if needed but I really, really began to love him (PLATONICALLY like family) and having him around. It breaks me so much. It was so important to me to have him.
I have been taking major time off of work and from seeing friend or leaving my house. I have completely self isolated. Refused medical treatment against doctor’s advice. Risked my job by calling off so much. Taking a leave of absence. Become bedridden. I know it sounds like I’ve become obsessed with fixing this situation and that seems psychotic and sad. But given my history with everything I have been through, this therapist had given me hope to feel like someone had my back. Losing him feels like a major major loss that’s soul crushing. Yes I have other people and no he cannot be my focus. But this is how I feel and I cannot help it. I do not want to be shamed for it. It just freaking hurts.
Again I know the majority of people will want to come at my therapist or me for doing wrong things. I know it doesn’t seem like this, but he really isn’t intentionally manipulative or gaslight-y, he’s just trying to regulate himself.
I have grace for him. And for myself. So please, please try and respond with compassion. I don’t want to lose him. But I feel like I kind of am.
What are your overall thoughts, in the most gentle way possible? Was I wrong for telling him the truth about the grave?

[SELL] [US TO US] [PERFUME] [Bath & Body]New Possets and NAVA Added! Hi all! Selling samples that didn’t work out for me.
Shipping is $5 for perfume and I’ll quote for bath & body. Please don’t ghost, if you change your mind please just let me know!
Perfume
**Alpha Musk**
Hard Luck - Not notes: Slink - 3.00Lies & Lace - No notes: 5mL rollerball used 2x - 13.00
**BPAL**
Blood - A vital, bold scent, throbbing with sensuality. Essence of dragon's blood resin, thickened with myrrh and cherry, with a trickle of clove: Imp - 4.00
Bobbing for Ball Gags - Black leather, honeyed amber, and a bite of apple: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Bobbing for Blood Kisses - Gleaming red apples sloshing through lush, creamy vanilla and the honey of the sweetest kiss smeared with the vital throb of husky clove, swollen red cherries, but darkened with the vampiric sensuality of vetiver, soporific poppy and blood red wine, and a skin-light pulse of feral musk: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Burial - The dark side of Earth: deep, brooding forest scents, including juniper and patchouli. The scent of upturned cemetery loam mingling with floral offerings to the dead: Imp - 4.00
Calico Jack - Sea air, driftwood, waterlogged kelp, and the memory of plundered spices sprayed over worn leathers, rough musk, and the salty wooden floorboards of revenge: Imp - 4.00
Dead Leaves, Praline, & Sheer Vanilla - Dead leaves, praline, and sheer vanilla: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Djinn - The scent of black smoke, of crackling flames, and smoldering ashes: Imp - 4.00
Elegba - Coconut, tobacco and sweet, sugared rum: BPAL Imp - 4.00
Every Sweet Thing - Honey-dripping plakous, rose petals, caramelized hazelnut, and goat's milk: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Highest Quality Vagina - Golden amber and vanilla milk, sweet almond, honey, and soft incense: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
An Introduction to Illustrious Kabuki Actors - White sandalwood, vanilla bean, fig froth, and buttercream: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Kiseru - Red sandalwood, vanilla husk, and tobacco smoke: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Lawful - Rigid oak, blue chamomile, rhubarb, and fig leaf: Imp - 4.00
Luceat - Wispy cashmere musk, sweet amber, iris butter, heliotrope, and tolu balsam: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
A Medley of Vulvas - Bourbon vanilla, pink labdanum, pink pepper, honey, and Bushman's candle absolute: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Night-Gaunt - The scent of their thick, rubbery hides is bittersweet, ticklish, and skin-creeping: something akin to yuzu, white grapefruit, and kumquat mixed with the snow-dusted flowers of Mount Ngranek: Imp - 4.00
Obatala - Obatala's ofrenda is soft, white, and pure: milk, coconut meat, shea butter and cool, refreshing water: Imp - 4.00
Oda a La Luz Encantada - Moroccan amber, sweet cream, lavender mist, Roman chamomile, golden musk, and pear blossoms: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Othello - Arabian musk with two roses and a bevy of Middle Eastern and Indian spices: Imp - 4.00
The Small Brown Cat - Warm brown fur, cardamom-infused bourbon vanilla, and a touch of cedarwood: 5mL used 2x - 25.00
Santa Doesn't Need Your Help - Sugar plum, lavender, marshmallows: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
In Silvery Accents, Whispering Low - Cardamom-infused coffee bean, myrrh smoke, vanilla bean, fir needle, and warm, velvet spices: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Snow White Rider - White leather, vanilla ice, and frosted sandalwood: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Still Life With Dooting Skull - Bourbon vanilla with wildflower honey, licorice root, coconut milk, and nutmeg: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Tavern of Hell - White gardenia, ambergris bouquet, lavender fougere, orange blossom, melissa, tobacco flower, coriander, ebony wood, ylang ylang, absinthe and aged whiskey: Imp - 4.00
Tiefling Therapist - A soothing, centering blend of white and red sandalwood, champaca attar, frankincense, and brimstone: Imp - 4.00
This More Than Bloody Deed - Wildflower honey, bourbon vanilla, and lush red labdanum: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
And I Wede My Corne Well I-Now - The scent of the hay harvest suffused with golden amber sunbeams, green cardamom, a handful of hazelnuts, and a bit of clove husk - 5.00Unarmed and Laughing - Sugared vanilla amber with a pop of champagne grape: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Velvet Snow - Frosted sandalwood, vanilla slush, cacao, and myrrh: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Young Corn - Corn Husks and upturned soil, haystacks and spicy late summer breezes: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Young Pilgrim Girl - Black silk and crisp line, polished abalone, wildflower honey, jasmine milk, and rose-touched sweet cream: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Wicked - A sophisticated, womanly scent: rich myrrh and jasmine draped in the subtlest rose: Imp - 4.00
**Damask Haus**
Damasco - A sultry fusion of spice and sweet, this scent features sweet spiced amardine, warm spicy cardamom, balsamic-spicy elemi, dark creamy vanilla custard balanced by a whisper of grounding patchouli: 2mL roller - 6.50
Fairy Dust - Fairies are not the cute little tinker bells as they are often depicted. Their magic is powerful and fluid with their emotional states. A festive fairy's dust can lull you into bliss whereas a foul mooded fae can dust your ass into utter chaos. Thank god you brought her an offering.. Notes: midnight air in the fae realm where sandalwood trees bloom spun sugar puffs, a wreath of subtle jasmine and sweets sets atop an old stump adorned with a cotton tablecloth that sways in the wind as an offering: 2mL - 6.50
La Petite Mort au Chocolat - Rich cocoa absolute unites simple creamy vanilla and the complex (tobacco vanilla almond) gourmand essence of tonka with a slide of silk across hard aromatic cedar, warm moss, and resinous honey-rich wood amber: 2mL roller - 6.50
Lavender Lace - Lavender, honey, sugar crusted lilacs, vetiver: 2mL roller - 6.50
Pumpkin Monkey - A combination of two comfort food desserts! Who doesn't love pulling apart monkey bread, sticky and sweet? Add pumpkin and it's just too much to resist, at least for us! Notes: pumpkin puree, fresh baked sweetbread, sticky sweet syrup icing, pinch of cinnamon and spices: 2mL roller - 6.50
**Haus of Gloi**
Plotter's Breakfast - Oaty porridge, stove smoke, kindling wood, a hint of gunpowder and pinch of sweet pipe tobacco: Slink - 2.00
Winter Divinity - Sugary white vanilla divinity with a surprising jolt of peppermint: Slink - 1.00
**Imaginary Authors**
The Cobra and the Canary - Lemon, orris, tobacco flowers, leather, hay fields, asphalt: 2mL sprayer used 4x - 3.50
**Moonalisa**
Moonlight Tuberose - No notes - 2.00
**Nocturne Alchemy**
Be My Valentine '23 - Toasted coconut, coconut cake accord, warm caramel accord, Bastet's Ice Cream, caramelized cinnamon accord, and vanilla creme: Crypta Slink - 6.00
Bois de Santal Rouge Vanille - NA Red Sandalwood (nine sandalwood blend) Bastet's Musk absolute, vanilla bean cordial, Bourbon accord infused with Madagascar vanilla beans, Ugandan vanilla bean essence, Moonstone Vanilla absolute (Studio Limited), Bourbon Vanilla absolute (SL), brown sugar and Tahitian Vanilla creme: CO Slink - 7.00
C.C. Caramel Apple Chai Marshmallow Musk - Cotton candy accord, caramelized apple skin, caramel apple accord, vanilla bean, toasted mallow root essential oil and accord, chai black tea (spices of cardamom, star anise, ginger, nutmeg, clove, Cinnamon), Bastet's ice cream confection and aged Bastet's Musk: Crypta Slink - 5.50
C.C Pumpkin Spice Marshmallow Musk - Cotton candy accord, vanilla bean, mallow root, pumpkin puree accord, pumpkin spices of nutmeg, butter-cinnamon and blended into Bastet's Musk: white floral blends of tuberose, mallow, angelica, musk flower, and white lily: Crypta Slink - 5.50
Cotton Candy Vanilla Marshmallow Musk - Crystalline absolute, vanilla bean liquer, Bastet's Musk, marshmallow creme, vanilla, mallow root, vanilla cotton candy accord: CO Slink - 6.00
Crystalline #4 - French lavender, Tahitian lavender, Pink Lily of the Valley enfleurage, pink sugar accord, Kashmir Red Musk absolute Studio Limited, Bastet's Amber, and Crystalline (Studio Limited): 7.75
Crystalline #9 - Vanilla incense accord, myrrh incense, vanilla pod, white cardamom essence, white amber, myrrh wood, Amber accord, sandalwood, and Crystalline (SL): CO Slink - 7.75
Eclipse Alnaeim - Pink vanilla accord, labdanum and pink patchouli accord, eNVie saphir, tonka bean, Moonstone Vanilla absolute (Studio Limited), amber (ozymandias) absolute and vanilla bean husk: Crypta Slink - 7.50
Eclipse Rakkaus - Tonka bean, Kashmir red musk absolute (Studio Limited), black patchouli, baked sugar cookie accord, brown sugar, Bastet's Amber absolute, Moonstone vanilla absolute (Studio Limited), and butter cream frosting essence: Crypta Slink - 7.50
Eclipse Tesoro - Sweet tobacco, pink peppercorn, orange blossom honey accord, Bourbon Vanille absolute, Kobalt Vanilla, Labdanum, and Madagascar Vanilla: CO Slink - 8.00
Encens Bois - Japanese cedar incense accord, Atlas cedar absolute, santalum absolute, Japanese hinoki wood incense, Roman frankincense, frankincense resin tears, and musk: Crypta Slink - 6.50
Encens Vanille - Vanilla bean cordial, labdanum resin, benzoin resin, incense accord, Arabian myrrh wood, Moonstone absolute (Studio Limited), and black vanilla bean infused Ponderosa pine: Crypta Slink - 6.50
Googly Cat - Candied peppermint accord, Egyptian sugar, dark chocolate accord, cacao absolute, Bastet's Musk enhanced with cacao and chocolate accords, and Crystalline Vanilla absolute (Studio Limited): Crypta Slink - 6.00
Halloween 2016 Anubis - Burning patchouli, incense and black honey beneath the darkening skyline. A touch of bergamot and grapefruit essential oil: 2mL - 8.50
Halloween 2022 - Caramel apple accord, green apple skin, marshmallows on an open flame, sweet vanilla caramel, Bastet's Ice Cream absolute accord, light pumpkin spices of nutmeg, white cinnamon and a light firewood and ember rounded out with vanilla bean extracts: Ajevie Slink - 5.50
Llama Llama 2 - Bourbon vanilla absolute (Studio Limited), vanilla bean liqueur, cream soda accord, caramelized patchouli essence and Bastet's Ice Cream: Crypta Slink - 6.00
Sorry I am a Monster - Cinnamon sugar, fried vanilla pastry with powdered sugar accord, sugar, mallow root, toasted marshmallow accord, Bourbon Vanille absolute (Studio Limited) and musk: Crypta Slink - 6.00
Neon Wolf - Vegan leather accord, Studio Limited santalum absolute, vanilla bean, Russian pine with vanilla laced pine needles and Canadian red pine - Crypta Slink - 4.00
V2023 - Pink sugar cube accord, vanilla bean cordial, caramelized brown sugar, caramel butter white chocolate accord, limestone amber, lemon cotton candy accord, and Bastet's Musk - CO Slink - 6.00
Zeus Vanilla Pound Cake - Vanilla, pound cake accord, vanilla bean, vanilla pod, vanilla icing, Bastet's Musk, and creamed (vegan) butter accord: CO Slink - 6.75
**Poesie**
Bijou - Ruby red grapefruit, cardamom, a gin-inspired blend of botanicals including cucumber, rose, juniper, lemon + orange peel, coriander, caraway, pink + black peppercorns, angelica + orris root: 1.15mL - 3.50
Sleepy Ghost - Marshmallow pillows sprinkled with natural lavender essential oil and absolute for sweet dreams: 1.15mL with damaged label - 3.00
Sucre Vanilla - Sparkling white sugar laced with vanilla bean: 2mL with dip - 6.00
Spellbound and Snug - Fizzy cream soda, butterscotch ribbons, marshmallow whipped cream, rosewood desks and squashy armchairs, a cheerful fire: 2mL and 1.15mL with damaged label - 6.50 or 3.00
**Possets**
The Arrow of Love - Sandalwood, sweet oude, golden amber, a touch of mint leaves: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Bolero - Lilac and crystal musk. Floral but very modern: Slink with label taped - 2.00
Cupid and Psyche - Sweet black and Mexican vanilla dance with patchouli on a bed of incense: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Guinevere - Crystalline and yet warming, sandalwood is the precious main component of the blend: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Henry VIII and Jane Seymour - Red musk, hawthorne, golden honey, fine fat vanilla, and sweetest amber: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Judith - Dark Haitian vetiver, cardamom, 'white' sandalwood, tears of frankincense, a very light waft of Madagascar vanilla and a goodly portion of rosewood: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Min Min - Sandalwoods, three of them, combined with the rich enticing scent of leather, a strong and classic patchouli rounds out the central trio. However, there manages to be a soft center to the group, thanks to a slight infusion of rose (and it is not a strong rose scent but one which blended into the mix to be a sent "emollient" to the mix. Resinous, spicy, leathery, assertive: Slink with label taped - 2.00
Perpetual Motion Heart - An infusion of luan wood extract, a small amount of copra, dry vanilla liquor, a white agar note, and hellebore: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Plenary Indulgence - Strong and sweet, the ineffable scent of lilacs combined with a whiff of smoke, knit together with a shot of resin: Slink with handwritten label - 1.00
Ready to Wear Pink Corset - Musk, vanilla bean liquor, a slight tang of steel, and a mist of pink lily: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Reason - Five vanillas and three toffees and a big glop of butter and cream on it all: 6mL used 5x - 17.00
Riding St. George - A very nice bit of leather bounces off a bouquet of black vanilla, iris, and chypre: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Salome - Black and African myrrh, frankincense, cedar, ivory musk, green coffee pulp extract, and a very light misting of black Mexican vanilla: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Silver Leather - Possets' silver base meets up with strong leather and the two live happily ever after: Ajevie Slink - 4.00
Zombie - You really need a big dose of toasted marshmallow and oude, a bit of burnt stick, and the unmistakable fragrance of the crisp autumn air. Resinous and goody at the same time. Smoky sticky fun: Slink with label taped - 2.00
**Pylies**
Is It Fall Yet? - Pumpkin incense, stale gingerbread, a drop of honey: Pylie Slink - 2.50
**Sorcellarie Apothecary**
Frostbitten - Juniper leaf, douglas fir, fir balsam absolute, white amber, golden amber, cardamom, Himalayan cedar, sandalwood, caramelized sugar, and a hint of maraschino cherry: 1ml sample: 3.50
**Solstice Scents**
Black Leather, Red Lace - Amber, vanilla, & leather: Slink RIS - 2.00
Loggia - Mahogany, amber, musk, vanilla bean, all-spice, cardamom, black pepper, cognac, & sandalwood: Slink x2 - 3.00
**Sugar and Spite**
Bugs n Hisses - Candied apple, coconut shreds, Egyptian and white musks, red currant, vanilla and cashmere: Slink (label is damaged but readable) - 2.00
**Whisper Sisters**
Ghosts of Christmas Past - No notes. 10.00