Inside health nyu
MTHFR Mutations: For news, research, & discussion about MTHFR mutations
2014.01.09 19:12 MTHFR Mutations: For news, research, & discussion about MTHFR mutations
The MTHFR gene is responsible for the methylation process inside our bodies. People with specific MTHFR mutations (A1298C and C667T) cannot efficiently metabolize synthetic folic acid, which can cause a number of health problems. This subreddit is for people with MTHFR mutations and those who are interested in discussing the science and health implications of MTHFR mutations.
2012.02.25 20:48 viruses
2014.11.13 06:05 Best of Legal Advice (BOLA) ~ Meta discussion of r/legaladvice
All the greatest posts from /legaladvice and its sister subreddits in one location!
2023.04.02 14:46 FirstBreath1 I let a stranger take a picture of me.
“Blink twice if you understand me.”
I let go of a lot of anger after the crash that almost
killed my family. I just couldn’t
bottle it anymore. Do you know how soda gets all bubbly every time you pop open the cap? I could feel that in my head every morning. Cracking and sizzling and bouncing all along the brain stem. Every time a doctor gave bad news. Every time Emma didn’t open her eyes. We risked spillage onto the floor.
But the kids deserved better. My wife deserved better. I needed to focus all that negative energy on something constructive like her health. I knew she could beat the coma. I knew she just had that strength. All of the doctors and all of the consultants said time was the only way to truly reduce swelling in an injury with such severity. So we waited.
And waited.
The investigation into the wreck came up clueless. A detective called often with questions and theories and information to review. Those conversations lasted over an hour in the early days. Eventually they felt like a formality. I looked into the cost of private eyes. I even met with one online. He told me sometimes there’s just not enough data out there to locate a suspect.
Sometimes people can be ghosts.
The photos stopped as suddenly as they started. I still couldn’t stomach a shot of Joey on the playground, or Sofia on the bus, so the teachers kept the kids inside, and my dad played chauffeur. Public spaces felt about as safe as the unused house with one hell of a mortgage eating up half my income. But we couldn’t go back there. I couldn’t risk another confrontation. Not yet.
We slept at my parents’ house.
We lived life inside a bubble.
Nobody in, nobody out.
Our home-base was the hospital. Emma’s routines became the structure. The doctors gave status in the morning before the kids went off to school at nine. I worked off the crappy Wi-Fi while nurses changed bandages and prepared my wife for another day of dancing with the devil. A new normal developed overtime that both disgusted and comforted me at the same time.
I tried to look at the light at the end of the tunnel. The news improved day-by-day. One scan showed increased activity. Another indicated a dramatic reduction in swelling. After weeks of hell, one hot night, the chief surgeon actually told us to keep our phones on high-volume before bed.
“I really think she’s ready to pull through,” he grinned. “There’s a long road back from here. No doubt about it. But we’re starting to see all the right signs.”
I needed to celebrate. Sofia wanted pizza. My mom ordered take-out and my dad pulled out all the old home video tapes. The kids passed out to the sound of grandpa’s harmonica on record. I remember feeling like we were finally out of the woods that night. Like all the bad shit behind us finally led to redemption.
I fell asleep with thoughts of the landscaping back home. I knew Em would give me shit for the lawn. I hadn’t cut it for weeks.
I woke up to a picture message.
The time on my phone said two. Rain pattered the windows. Thunder shook the cabinets. I looked around and realized I was alone. My father had a habit of setting things right at night.
I opened up the text. Emma laid serenely in her white hospital gown. Her makeup was done. Her eyes were closed. A hand held hers tight. Another message pinged back immediately after that one.
Her eyes were open.
I got my keys and sprinted out to the car. I needed to channel the adrenaline into something constructive. I called the hospital along the way. They didn’t answer. I called dispatch. I waited. Finally a live person came on the line.
“The doctor is going in there now,” the secretary snipped. “We don’t send picture messages.”
“I’m coming.”
I called the cops. I called my parents. I called everyone. A dozen scenarios ran through my mind. They could have her. They could hurt her. They could do whatever they wanted without me there. That photograph was proof. I was helpless in an instant all over again.
The hour and the weather kept people off the roads. The garage at the hospital was connected to the main building at the back. I found a spot, parked, and got out. Timed lights matched my pace until the roof opened up to the rain.
The campus had an alien feeling to it so late at night. Almost as if healthy people didn’t belong. Bright flood lights blended into swaying trees in the misty breeze. Empty lots gave way to shadows of trucks.
I didn’t know how to get in after hours. I had a loose plan to stop at the emergency desk and ask for help. But I didn't recognize anything in the dark. I hustled up the path through the bright lit hedges. I looked around. I got lost after a while.
And then there he was.
About fifty yards away. Walking down the opposite road like any other fucking night. Black slacks. White shirt. Gray hat.
The right guy.
I kept my distance at first. It felt good to be on the other side of things. I followed him through the courtyard and all the way through a lot to his car. He fumbled with his keys for a moment. He dropped them. Then I stepped out.
“Hey.”
He turned around. He smiled.
“Hey!”
I stared at him for a second. He stared back.
“Looks like your girl is going to be alright in there.”
I moved closer.
“She’s going to be very popular, too.”
I hesitated.
“What does that mean?”
He laughed.
“Oh you know. Pictures like that? Death and back?”
He opened the door.
“My people are going to love it.”
The stranger gave me one last look before he sighed and went for his keys. He didn’t expect me to hit him. He should have. I reached back and swung with all the repressed rage of the past month.
The connection felt so fucking good.
The first punch broke his nose. The second pushed it all the way back. I could hear things snap. I could feel him struggling. That didn’t concern me. I pushed him down and old bones hit the pavement like a sack of molded potatoes. I kicked him in the ribs. I shoved my boot in his face. I straddled his thighs and hit, hit, hit until the bubbling in my brain fizzled and dissolved.
I lost control of the soda bottle.
I don’t remember stopping. I don’t even remember blinking. This could have gone on for hours and that all would have been just fine with me. But there was a rush of footsteps to my left. Somebody snapped a photo to my right. My arms went limp.
I was caught.
I turned around to find a yuppy guy in board shorts. He had one of those fancy cameras with the strap. He zoomed in on the bloodied remains of the face beside me. He clicked and pursed his lips a few times. Then he looked at me.
He smiled wide.
“Okay. Okay. This is gonna be perfect. Are you ready?”
He pointed his camera.
“Say… tangerine!”
submitted by
FirstBreath1 to
nosleep [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 14:17 MK_ULTR411 I don’t feel emotion anymore.
A year ago, I would have considered myself a relatively anxious or at least a somewhat emotional person. I’m pretty sure I laughed, I’m DEFINITELY sure I was anxious, I thought I felt atleast some emotion here and there and I didn’t think I was completely unemotional. But now? I don’t feel anything anymore, I don’t feel anything positive or negative, I don’t laugh or cry about anything at all, and I don’t even feel the anxiety or worrying that I used to feel a lot. I don’t care about anything anymore, I don’t get joy or dopamine from anything and even though I still often think about things like questioning my health or mental health.. I’m not anxious anymore. I am devoid of any emotion, and even though I don’t really feel like I care or feel anything about it I still sometimes think about how I wish I could still feel emotion, even the bad things like anxiety or sadness. I almost “consciously” miss the feeling of stress or crying, especially things like laughing. I can’t connect or have relationships with my “friends” anymore cause I don’t really get any joy or dopamine from talking with them or joking with them, and even though I force emotions out sometimes and try to exhibit things like empathy or joy or anything, I don’t feel anything genuinely.
It’s so bleak, I don’t enjoy anything anymore. I don’t get joy or have any kind of fun from playing video games or watching movies, I don’t enjoy talking to my parents or friends online or anything, YouTubers i used to laugh at and love watching give me nothing anymore, and i’m just completely void of anything. I want to feel something again, anything, I don’t care if it’s joy or anxiety or a crushing sadness, but I wanna feel again. I wanna laugh or cry at something again, I want to feel anxious around people again, but I don’t feel anything. I think I might be a sociopath or something, but I don’t really want to be one cause I don’t want to feel like this for the rest of my life. I want to go back, to have fun or be sad again, I don’t even feel that much joy from PHYSICAL stimulation either. I blame the antidepressants and psychotics I was on for awhile for this, I feel like that’s where most of this started, but I stopped taking it MONTHS ago and I still feel absolutely neutral. That’s the worst part of it too, it’s not a crippling emptiness either, it’s just a perpetual “neutrality” and sometimes boredom that I feel all the time. Trying to do things “fun” is a chore, like I have to make myself play a video game that used to give me joy or I used to have fun playing.. I can’t even focus on the game cause I’m just inside my mind all the time as well.
submitted by
MK_ULTR411 to
mentalillness [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 14:16 MK_ULTR411 I don’t feel any emotions anymore [17, M.]
A year ago, I would have considered myself a relatively anxious or at least a somewhat emotional person. I’m pretty sure I laughed, I’m DEFINITELY sure I was anxious, I thought I felt atleast some emotion here and there and I didn’t think I was completely unemotional. But now? I don’t feel anything anymore, I don’t feel anything positive or negative, I don’t laugh or cry about anything at all, and I don’t even feel the anxiety or worrying that I used to feel a lot. I don’t care about anything anymore, I don’t get joy or dopamine from anything and even though I still often think about things like questioning my health or mental health.. I’m not anxious anymore. I am devoid of any emotion, and even though I don’t really feel like I care or feel anything about it I still sometimes think about how I wish I could still feel emotion, even the bad things like anxiety or sadness. I almost “consciously” miss the feeling of stress or crying, especially things like laughing. I can’t connect or have relationships with my “friends” anymore cause I don’t really get any joy or dopamine from talking with them or joking with them, and even though I force emotions out sometimes and try to exhibit things like empathy or joy or anything, I don’t feel anything genuinely.
It’s so bleak, I don’t enjoy anything anymore. I don’t get joy or have any kind of fun from playing video games or watching movies, I don’t enjoy talking to my parents or friends online or anything, YouTubers i used to laugh at and love watching give me nothing anymore, and i’m just completely void of anything. I want to feel something again, anything, I don’t care if it’s joy or anxiety or a crushing sadness, but I wanna feel again. I wanna laugh or cry at something again, I want to feel anxious around people again, but I don’t feel anything. I think I might be a sociopath or something, but I don’t really want to be one cause I don’t want to feel like this for the rest of my life. I want to go back, to have fun or be sad again, I don’t even feel that much joy from PHYSICAL stimulation either. I blame the antidepressants and psychotics I was on for awhile for this, I feel like that’s where most of this started, but I stopped taking it MONTHS ago and I still feel absolutely neutral. That’s the worst part of it too, it’s not a crippling emptiness either, it’s just a perpetual “neutrality” and sometimes boredom that I feel all the time. Trying to do things “fun” is a chore, like I have to make myself play a video game that used to give me joy or I used to have fun playing.. I can’t even focus on the game cause I’m just inside my mind all the time as well.
submitted by
MK_ULTR411 to
mentalhealth [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 14:15 AdInteresting5479 Need advice regarding leaving my job due to anxiety
I'm 38 years old, been working for the same company for the past 13 years, this is my 9th year in the same job working with an executive director in a very stressful job.
Diagnosed with Complex PTSD, Social Anxiety, Panic Disorder and Health Anxiety. I learned in therapy recently that the culprit of my anxiety disorders is PTSD and social anxiety especially at work. Been seeing a therapist for a year now almost.
My performance deteriorated over the years, and my manager is finally fed up with me and gave me a bad performance rating for last year's performance. I wasn't even given the chance to explain my self, just got an email.
Last year I had Covid and entered a mental crisis. I wasn't able to work at all, not able to drive my car, missed a lot of work days, had to leave work early in fear that I would have another panic attack, seen lots of doctors, and I just spiraled into anxiety hell to the point that I wasn't able to walk or function at all.
The job I'm currently in is very demanding with high expectations and a lot of politics which I'm not good at, endless meetings, endless deadlines and just constant anxiety. It's also a good job, high profile in the company, everyone knows you and listens to you and you can influence decision makers and work on important things on the company's level.
For the past decade I've been enduring the anxiety hoping one day things will get better. Things kept getting worse until I went to see a therapist.
Last year I went to therapy after I had a mental crisis and I started to gradually get better, but as I understand from my therapist the path to full recovery is still long, especially for the PTSD. I can see clearly now the extent of this condition on my daily life.
Since I can't leave the company and work somewhere else due to social anxiety and the fear of another PTSD flareup (as feared by my therapist) I'm staying in the company until I'm better and can leave.
I have a decision to make since I can't endure this any longer:
- Option 1: leave the job I'm currently in and work in another job inside the company. Implications would be dealing with being an outcast in the company. People will talk about my mental health issues and I will feel less than, I will feel like a failure for leaving this job.
- Option 2: stay in this job and suffer, take psychiatric medication down the line to survive.
- Option 3: quit and stay at home, losing health insurance and income.
Appreciating your advice
submitted by
AdInteresting5479 to
Anxiety [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 14:07 sufferingonmars Abdominal Burning
I've gone to many different GIs and got told I had functional dyspepsia and given ppi and anxiety meds.
I'm positive for h pylori but my endoscopy which was back in Jan showed no gastritis just a mild ulcer. I really didn't have symptoms then either and went for it to check for a different problem. However, I was prescribed antibiotics for it anyway and they kickstarted this wonderful chain of events I'm still suffering from. I was asked to stop the antibiotics as they made me very very sick.
Now 3 months later I'm still having flare ups so bad they've taken the worst toll on my mental health. Currently, I'm having non stop abdominal burning, it feels my insides are soo sore. It's around and under my belly button mostly and I'm having loose stools.
I'm wondering if I should go to a diff doc as my current doc just keeps saying it's all anxiety and stress. I even asked him if I should just take the antibiotics for h pylori and he said he doesn't think it's that serious 😐
submitted by
sufferingonmars to
Gastritis [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 14:05 AutoModerator [Get] Daniel Marcelo – The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon
| Download course here: https://www.genkicourses.com/product/daniel-marcelo-the-ultimate-guide-to-succeed-on-amazon/ [Get] Daniel Marcelo – The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon https://preview.redd.it/323nc2w2h6ra1.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c26cabcb35ccd278ba462a3aef16a8b8e1a6cc75 What You Get in The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon - Intro
- Why Amazon is a great opportunity for your business
- Setup Needed For Success
- Organic vs Sponsor Rank
- How To Use Helium10 – Part 1
- How To Use Helium10 – Part 2
- Niche and Product Research
- The Correct Way To Create Designs On Canva
- How To Fix The Transparent Error
- Getting UPC/EAN Exemption
- The Correct Way To Create Your Listings – Part 1
- The Correct Way To Create Your Listings – Part 2
- How To Add New Variations
- How To Remove Variations
- Configure Your Shipping Template
- How To Sell Custom/ Personalized Products
- Getting Brand Registry
- Creating Your A+ Content
- Video Shopping & Customer Reviews
- Creating Your Amazon Store
- Get FREE Traffic with Posts
- Virtual Bundles & Brand Analytics
- Amazon Attribution & Brand Referral Bonus
- AUTO Campaigns – Part 1
- AUTO Campaigns – Part 2
- Phrase/Broad Campaigns – Part 1
- Phrase/Broad Campaigns – Part 2
- Sherlock Holmes Mode Overview
- Brand Defense Overview
- [SP-PT] DEFENSE Campaigns
- [SD-PT] DEFENSE Campaigns
- [SBV-PT] DEFENSE Campaigns
- Ranking Mode & [SP-EXACT] Campaigns
- [COLLECTION-EXACT] & [SBV-EXACT] Campaigns
- Awareness Campaigns Overview
- Brand Attack Overview
- Analyze Your Profit Report
- PPC Management – Daily Budgets
- PPC Management – Guides
- Inside My Amazon Campaigns
- Creating Your FBA Listings
- Analyze Your Inventory Report
- Account Health Hacks
- Customer Service Hacks
- How To Remove Negative Feedbacks
- Expand To Canada and Mexico
- Mindset
submitted by AutoModerator to BestMarketing_Courses [link] [comments] |
2023.04.02 13:29 hairdo-hair-care Nutrition and Diet for Healthy Hair Growth: The Essential Guide
| https://preview.redd.it/te2rn2dbigra1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13221622585281914490783e84e40800c4add968 For many people, having healthy hair is a common goal, but getting it takes more than just spending a lot of money on goods. Diet and nutrition are important for sustaining healthy hair development. In this article, we’ll talk about the vital vitamins, foods, and lifestyle modifications that can encourage healthy hair development. Importance of Nutrition and Diet for Healthy Hair Growth Our general hair health is directly influenced by the food we eat. Specific nutrients are required for our hair to develop strong and healthily. A well-rounded diet that contains the recommended amounts of vitamins and minerals can aid in promoting hair development, preventing hair loss, and preserving the scalp’s health. Essential Nutrients for Hair Growth The most crucial nutrient for hair development is protein. It is the foundation of hair, and insufficient protein can cause hair to weaken and crack. Another important nutrient, iron, aids in the red blood cells’ ability to carry oxygen to the hair follicles, encouraging the development of strong, healthy hair. A B-complex vitamin called biotin helps to fortify hair strands, avoid breakage, and encourage strong hair growth. A, C, and E vitamins are essential for promoting healthy hair development. Other Nutrients that Promote Healthy Hair Growth Omega-3 fatty acids are necessary for a healthy head and aid in preventing inflammatory conditions, which can cause hair loss. Another nutrient that supports good hair growth and stops hair loss is zinc. The element selenium, which is present in foods like Brazil nuts, also aids in preventing hair loss. Give your hair the nutrients it needs with Divine Locks! This hair supplement contains all the essential proteins, iron, biotin, and vitamins to promote healthy hair growth. Plus, it’s packed with zinc, and selenium to help prevent inflammation and hair loss. Try Divine Locks and nourish your hair from the inside out! Foods to Avoid for Healthy Hair Growth Processed foods, sweet beverages, alcohol, and fatty foods are all known to damage and induce hair loss. These meals are frequently high in unhealthy fats, sugar, and salt, which can weaken hair and cause breakage. Lifestyle Changes for Healthy Hair Growth It’s crucial to stay hydrated for good health and hair development. Water consumption throughout the day aids in toxin removal and maintains the scalp hydrated. Exercise is also necessary to encourage healthy hair development because it improves circulation and blood flow to the scalp. Finding methods to manage stress, like yoga or meditation, can help prevent hair loss because stress is a frequent cause of hair loss. The health of your hair can be greatly enhanced by incorporating nutrient-rich foods into your diet and altering your lifestyle to include regular exercise and stress reduction. The advice provided in this piece can help you stop hair loss and encourage healthy hair growth. Always keep in mind that the basis for healthy hair is a healthy diet and lifestyle. submitted by hairdo-hair-care to u/hairdo-hair-care [link] [comments] |
2023.04.02 13:18 Sensitive-Window-925 Chance a mid junior for T20s (Advice needed)
Demographics: Asian, NYC, Female, Low-income
Major: Mechanical engineering
Intended Schools: NYU Georgia Tech Cornell Princeton UT Austin UWM etc
GPA: 4.2 weighted
SAT: n/a
Course load: 12 Ap classes by senior year
ECS:
President of environmental club- Taught people how to recycle and reuse items, did beach/park clean ups, taught elementary school kids how to recycle
Vice President of Key Club - Planned events with board members
Organization (member) - met with NYS senators to push for climate education
Author of a small book on mental health (unpublished)
Paid Internship (from a program by NY’s department of education) designing a website for a nonprofit.
Paid summer research internship- conducted research on climate change & effect on marine species. Worked with a professor from Brooklyn College and presented findings to other professors.
Small business making tote bags
helped with my mom's business
Taught block coding to kids in a library & will be continuing senior year
(possible internship this summer)
Awards: (not good)
Ap scholar
won a local app challenge (using block code) (idk how to fr code HELP)
regional cs award
Do I have a chance? Pls be brutally honest
submitted by
Sensitive-Window-925 to
chanceme [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 13:05 AutoModerator [Get] Daniel Marcelo – The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon
| Download course here: https://www.genkicourses.com/product/daniel-marcelo-the-ultimate-guide-to-succeed-on-amazon/ [Get] Daniel Marcelo – The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon https://preview.redd.it/323nc2w2h6ra1.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c26cabcb35ccd278ba462a3aef16a8b8e1a6cc75 What You Get in The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon - Intro
- Why Amazon is a great opportunity for your business
- Setup Needed For Success
- Organic vs Sponsor Rank
- How To Use Helium10 – Part 1
- How To Use Helium10 – Part 2
- Niche and Product Research
- The Correct Way To Create Designs On Canva
- How To Fix The Transparent Error
- Getting UPC/EAN Exemption
- The Correct Way To Create Your Listings – Part 1
- The Correct Way To Create Your Listings – Part 2
- How To Add New Variations
- How To Remove Variations
- Configure Your Shipping Template
- How To Sell Custom/ Personalized Products
- Getting Brand Registry
- Creating Your A+ Content
- Video Shopping & Customer Reviews
- Creating Your Amazon Store
- Get FREE Traffic with Posts
- Virtual Bundles & Brand Analytics
- Amazon Attribution & Brand Referral Bonus
- AUTO Campaigns – Part 1
- AUTO Campaigns – Part 2
- Phrase/Broad Campaigns – Part 1
- Phrase/Broad Campaigns – Part 2
- Sherlock Holmes Mode Overview
- Brand Defense Overview
- [SP-PT] DEFENSE Campaigns
- [SD-PT] DEFENSE Campaigns
- [SBV-PT] DEFENSE Campaigns
- Ranking Mode & [SP-EXACT] Campaigns
- [COLLECTION-EXACT] & [SBV-EXACT] Campaigns
- Awareness Campaigns Overview
- Brand Attack Overview
- Analyze Your Profit Report
- PPC Management – Daily Budgets
- PPC Management – Guides
- Inside My Amazon Campaigns
- Creating Your FBA Listings
- Analyze Your Inventory Report
- Account Health Hacks
- Customer Service Hacks
- How To Remove Negative Feedbacks
- Expand To Canada and Mexico
- Mindset
submitted by AutoModerator to BestMarketing_Courses [link] [comments] |
2023.04.02 12:50 N0rthEastS0uthWest Frustrations and Venting
I'm really at a loss on my spiritual journey and I need to vent and, I guess, get advice if anyone has anything to offer. Before I begin, I will say I am well aware that this could be nothing more than the result of mental illness and that I have been doing my best to take care of my mental health. I've been on medications and it does help some things, but it hasn't changed the core of what I've been struggling with.
I will also say that, while I wasn't perfect and neither was life, I was content with my spiritual beliefs before I got into demonolatry. It was a form of right hand path thinking, I suppose, in that I figured, when I die, my soul will just dissipate into the Universal Consciousness and that would be that. It wasn't until November 2021 that I came across the name of a particular demon and felt instantly drawn to them. I started feeling like I just had to make contact and started researching how to do so. I spent roughly six months trying and failing. Every time I'd fail, I'd give it up as just being my imagination but the urge would come back stronger.
Finally, I was given the advice to contact Lucifer first. So, one night I set up a little offering/altar and laid down with my headphones to listen to his enn. He seemed like he responded within minutes; this very strong energy took over my whole body and I could "hear" him in my head, telling me to relax and that everything was okay. I also heard Asmodeus' and Belial's names in my head, and I believe Lilith was "present" as well but kind of watching from the sidelines.
It felt like I spent the rest of the night in a sort of "limbo" state, having information downloaded into my brain. The thing I remember most is something about an explanation for how divine/spiritual influences affected evolution.
I won't go into detail about everything that has happened between now and then but it has been a lot. I feel like I have literally been put through hell. It feels like someone mixed up ten different puzzles and told me to sort them out and put them together. Sometimes it feels like the pieces are coming together and it starts to makes sense, then other times it just falls completely to shit.
It started getting a little better when I began working with Lord Azazel in August but I still felt like I was getting a lot of mixed messages, having trouble with discernment. One problem I have is that I really can't sense energy so when I try to invoke demons to have a conversation with them, a lot of times it feels like I'm just talking to myself. I've considered many times that I'm just making stuff up, talking to myself, or interacting with a really stubborn astral parasite that gets off on driving me insane.
At this point, there's really only one form of consolidation I have that any of this is real. Recently I reached out to Stolas who gave me some advice on dealing with negative energy and, about twenty minutes later, an owl started hooting outside my window, during the day, which is pretty unusual. A few days later, I reached out to him again and he asked me what I think demons are. I responded "voices in my head" and he said that isn't true because he was able to send me an external sign.
Last night, I was listening to some music on YouTube and Lucifer's enn started playing. I decided to just let it go while I was cleaning my room. I had the urge to stop for a moment and pick up my scrying mirror. I didn't get any visuals but, after a moment, I heard that I needed to invoke the nine demonic gatekeepers. Oddly, when I picked up my phone, I accidentally clicked on a different video and it just so happened to be about the nine demonic gatekeepers.
So, I did what was asked. I lit some Dragon's Blood incense, said each of their enns, called to each of them individually with a ring of my Tibetan singing bowl, asked for their help, and thanked them. I kind of sat there for a minute like, "Now what?" and then decided to meditate. As I did, the thought came to me that I've already passed through all of the gates in previous lifetimes and this is the last lifetime I have to live before I can "ascend". So I asked in my head what that means and what I need to do next and the response I got was just, "Be patient" and "you'll see".
I am so tired of "being patient". I'm exhausted by everything that I've been through. I feel like I've been put through the wringer and have gotten absolutely nowhere. I feel like my discernment is shit and I'm just being fed a bunch of crap that is completely useless. I'm tired of the back and forth and constantly feeling like I need to be doing something other than what I'm doing. I'm tired of being told the spirits are going to help me and then never receiving any help. I'm tired of being told to "just hang in there". I'm tired of feeling like I'm slowly succumbing to madness or making up some fantasy in my head.
I've tried to give up so many times but every time I do, something inside of me tells me to keep going, have strength. Take it one day at a time. Have faith in myself. But it's so hard to do when I've already been doing all of that and feel like I haven't made any progress.
Sorry this is so long but I just had to get this out. I'm afraid I'm just losing it and I'm going to spend the rest of my life locked up in a psych ward.
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N0rthEastS0uthWest to
DemonolatryPractices [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 12:34 Ajax_38 Stuck in an Existential Crisis at 17
I'm 17 years old, male and still have 2 more years of school left to go. I'm also Christian, just in case you're wondering.
2022 was the worst year for me. I failed 2 of my 3 exams and just finished my final exams last month. Still waiting on the results, hoping that I just pass and try to do better this year. Also, I still have an addiction to pornography and battling it for almost 3 years now. My mental health was at it's worst during 2022. I went to bed crying a lot more times than I did in my entire life. One last thing, my grandpa passed away on January of this year
As of now, like I said, I'm still waiting on my final exam results and just hoping to pass. During the holidays, I am planning on focusing on self-improvement, controlling my addictions, getting closer to God and developing a better mental health
For now, I practice Basketball for atleast 4 hours everyday and so far it's going good. I'm also trying to improve my fitness but employing strength training (difficulty trying to stay consistent for this particular routine), stretching, etc. I too sometimes do 5min meditations. I've still yet to build a habit of reading and breaking my procrastination and laziness.
Despite all this, I feel empty inside. But most importantly, I am anxious and stressed out by life itself. My life is going by so fast, so many of my loved ones, especially my grandfather, have passed away. I'm worried about what the future holds for me, what is gonna happen to me after high school? Will I ever get to go to my dream University? Will I ever get successful? Will I ever find love (for now, I'm still trying to get past the need for a girlfriend)? I'm also very scared and worried of everyone else getting ahead of me in every field and every aspect of life. If we're talking about my Christianity, I am especially worried of my relationship with God and whether I will ever get to heaven. I feel like I've always failed God everyday no matter how much I read the Bible and how much I've prayed.
This anxiety is killing me, what do I do?
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Ajax_38 to
selfimprovement [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 12:05 AutoModerator [Get] Daniel Marcelo – The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon
| Download course here: https://www.genkicourses.com/product/daniel-marcelo-the-ultimate-guide-to-succeed-on-amazon/ [Get] Daniel Marcelo – The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon https://preview.redd.it/323nc2w2h6ra1.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c26cabcb35ccd278ba462a3aef16a8b8e1a6cc75 What You Get in The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon - Intro
- Why Amazon is a great opportunity for your business
- Setup Needed For Success
- Organic vs Sponsor Rank
- How To Use Helium10 – Part 1
- How To Use Helium10 – Part 2
- Niche and Product Research
- The Correct Way To Create Designs On Canva
- How To Fix The Transparent Error
- Getting UPC/EAN Exemption
- The Correct Way To Create Your Listings – Part 1
- The Correct Way To Create Your Listings – Part 2
- How To Add New Variations
- How To Remove Variations
- Configure Your Shipping Template
- How To Sell Custom/ Personalized Products
- Getting Brand Registry
- Creating Your A+ Content
- Video Shopping & Customer Reviews
- Creating Your Amazon Store
- Get FREE Traffic with Posts
- Virtual Bundles & Brand Analytics
- Amazon Attribution & Brand Referral Bonus
- AUTO Campaigns – Part 1
- AUTO Campaigns – Part 2
- Phrase/Broad Campaigns – Part 1
- Phrase/Broad Campaigns – Part 2
- Sherlock Holmes Mode Overview
- Brand Defense Overview
- [SP-PT] DEFENSE Campaigns
- [SD-PT] DEFENSE Campaigns
- [SBV-PT] DEFENSE Campaigns
- Ranking Mode & [SP-EXACT] Campaigns
- [COLLECTION-EXACT] & [SBV-EXACT] Campaigns
- Awareness Campaigns Overview
- Brand Attack Overview
- Analyze Your Profit Report
- PPC Management – Daily Budgets
- PPC Management – Guides
- Inside My Amazon Campaigns
- Creating Your FBA Listings
- Analyze Your Inventory Report
- Account Health Hacks
- Customer Service Hacks
- How To Remove Negative Feedbacks
- Expand To Canada and Mexico
- Mindset
submitted by AutoModerator to BestMarketing_Courses [link] [comments] |
2023.04.02 12:03 remote-enthusiast Collected 100 jobs from last couple of days
- marathi Language Expert \)link\) Khan Academy · Remote non-tech
- top Gun Appointment Setter: Work \)link\) Pearse Consulting · Remote sales-marketing, non-tech, sales
- application Developer \)link\) Delphia Consulting LLC · Remote in Columbus engineering, php-javascript-c-c-c, 100-remote
- Financial Services Representative \)link\) Charles Schwab non-tech, trading, customer-service, recruiting, full-time, usa
- security Programmer Writer \)link\) eXcell · Remote in San Francisco sales-marketing, non-tech, copywriting, open-source
- inside Sales Manager \)link\) Yelp · Remote in Austin sales-marketing, non-tech, sales, remote
- Medarrive Hr Generalist \)link\) MedArrive non-tech, recruiting, hris, payroll, full-time, anywhere
- Director Of Development \)link\) ParentsTogether · $97,500 - $130,000 · DC, US sales-marketing
- [hiring] Billing Specialist @remote Job Central \)link\) Remote Job Central · Full-time · USA non-tech, finance-legal, full-time
- Product Manager \)link\) Netflix tech, product-management, sql, product-design, entertainment, user-experience, full-time, usa
- production Designer \)link\) Cella · Remote design, remote
- freelance Remote Graphic Designer \)link\) Brella Productions · +1 location design
- sr. Full Stack Developer - Ruby and Scala \)link\) FLEETCOR · Remote in Myrtle Point engineering
- back End Developer \)link\) American Recruiting & Consulting Group · Remote engineering
- senior Accountant \)link\) Everside Health · Remote in Denver non-tech, accounting, remote-in-colorado-or-illinois
- senior Social Media Manager - Contract To Hire - Fully Remote \)link\) Creative Circle · Remote in Austin sales-marketing, non-tech, social-media, b2b
- junior Accountant-remote \)link\) Preferred Mutual Insurance Company · Remote in New Berlin non-tech, accounting
- marketing Manager /website Design & Ux \)link\) Millennium Trust Company · Remote in Oak Brook sales-marketing, non-tech, marketing
- social Media Producer, Racing Tv - Freelance \)link\) FanDuel · Remote in Lexington sales-marketing, non-tech, social-media
- spanish Linguist - Portland, or Office / Us Remote \)link\) LanguageLine Solutions · Remote in Portland non-tech
- copywriter \)link\) Retrospect · Remote in New York sales-marketing, non-tech, copywriting
- digital Marketing Specialist, 100% Remote \)link\) ClearCaptions, LLC · Remote sales-marketing, non-tech, marketing
- tiktok E-commerce Content Creator \)link\) Novaland Media & Film Production · Remote sales-marketing, non-tech, social-media
- [hiring] Big Data Engineer @experfy Inc \)link\) Experfy Inc · USA engineering, data, contractor
- remote Sales and Service $17/hr+comm-hiring For March Classes! \)link\) Terminix · Remote sales-marketing, non-tech, sales
- senior Accountant - Remote \)link\) UnitedHealth Group · Remote in Columbia non-tech, accounting
- digital Experience Specialist, Seo and Sem \)link\) Charles River Laboratories · Remote in Wilmington sales-marketing, non-tech, marketing, remote
- asl/english Sign Language Interpreter \)link\) ACLU · Remote in New York non-tech
- social Media Care Representative \)link\) NexGen Agency · Remote in Florida+1 location sales-marketing, non-tech, social-media
- Seo Copywriter \)link\) Ueni Ltd sales-marketing, seo, copywriting, content-marketing, editing, google-analytics, full-time, anywhere
- junior Developer & Lms Assistant #guwahati #assam \)link\) Interactive Media · Remote engineering
- ai Training For Writers \)link\) Remo · Remote in Philadelphia sales-marketing, non-tech, copywriting
- Manager, Product Design \)link\) Figma design, product-design, security, full-time, usa
- sr Full Stack Lamp Developer \)link\) Orases · Remote engineering
- remote Sales Pro - Hourly Plus Commission \)link\) Bennett Insurance Agency · Remote in Florida sales-marketing, non-tech, sales
- copywriter \)link\) Concentrix Catalyst · Remote sales-marketing, non-tech, copywriting
- senior Copywriter - Freelance \)link\) Jack Morton · Remote in Boston sales-marketing, non-tech, copywriting
- junior Graphic Designer \)link\) Zuora · Remote in Boston design
- customer Service Representative - Bilingual \)link\) Connexus Resource Group · Remote non-tech, customer-support, spanish
- Lead Ux Designer \)link\) Designit design, user-experience, qa, product-design, architecture, full-time, usa
- english Copywriter \)link\) Kemper · Remote in Chicago sales-marketing, non-tech, copywriting
- senior Laravel/php Application Developer \)link\) Stand Up Wireless · Remote engineering
- software Engineer I - Production Support \)link\) Home Depot / THD · Remote in Atlanta engineering, remote
- Compliance Lead \)link\) Affirm tech, project-management, full-time, canada
- live Sales Chat Representative \)link\) Thermo Fisher Scientific · Remote in Carlsbad sales-marketing, non-tech, sales
- part-time Remote Sales Manager \)link\) Holiday Inn Express & Suites · Remote sales-marketing, non-tech, sales
- customer Service Associate \)link\) Prudential · Remote in Dubuque non-tech, customer-support, remote-role
- marketing Coordinator Remote \)link\) Alleyoop · Remote in Puerto Rico sales-marketing, non-tech, marketing
- page Designer \)link\) Chicago Sun-Times · Remote design
- call Center Agent/ Interviewer - Bilingual - Tx \)link\) Professional Research Consultants, Inc · Remote in Texas+1 location non-tech, customer-support
- inside Sales Representative \)link\) GetSales · Remote in Austin sales-marketing, non-tech, sales, 44k-60k-ote-absolutely-no-cold-calls-100-remote
- call Center Agent \)link\) PetSmart · Remote in Arizona+6 locations sales-marketing, non-tech, sales, remote
- experienced Tax Accountant \)link\) Polston Tax Resolution & Accounting · Remote in Oklahoma City non-tech, accounting
- needed - Experienced Interpreters For Opi – Wfh \)link\) United Language Group · Remote non-tech, over-the-phone
- Training Coordinator \)link\) Interaction Institute of Social Change · $55,000 - $65,000 · District of Columbia, US non-tech, engineering
- [hiring] Senior Product Manager @coforma \)link\) Coforma · USA tech, product, full-time
- Product Marketing Manager, Developer \)link\) 1Password sales-marketing, product-marketing, product-management, public-relations, database-administration, security, full-time, usa-canada
- java Developer \)link\) QuinStreet · Remote in Foster City engineering, contract
- amazon Connect Solution Architect Ii \)link\) Aspen Technologies Group, LLC · Remote engineering
- chat Scripting Specialist \)link\) ApexChat · Remote non-tech, customer-support
- Corporate Accountant \)link\) Oyster HR non-tech, accounting, erp, netsuite, flux, javascript, full-time, anywhere
- account Manager \)link\) FCS Security · Remote in Hermiston sales-marketing, non-tech, sales, security
- bilingual Special Education Liaison \)link\) IN*SOURCE · Remote in Jasper non-tech, spanish, full-time
- commercial Marketing Lead Position \)link\) Heaton Bennett Insurance · Remote in Austin sales-marketing, non-tech, marketing
- outside Sales Representative \)link\) Wurth Revcar Fasteners, Inc. · Remote in Fort Lauderdale sales-marketing, non-tech, sales
- work \)link\) Concentrix · +33 locations non-tech, customer-support
- full Stack PHP Developer \)link\) Sonic Electronix, Inc. · Remote in Louisville engineering, remote
- senior Backend Business Engineer \)link\) Chess.com · Remote engineering, php
- product Designer \)link\) Stride Inc · Remote in Reston design, remote
- customer Service Representative \)link\) CVS Health · Remote in Georgia+27 locations non-tech, customer-support
- Research Administrator 3 \)link\) Stanford University non-tech, accounting, project-management, full-time, usa
- 100% Remote- Software Developer Ii \)link\) National General Insurance · Remote in Winston-Salem engineering
- Lead Full-stack Developer \)link\) Global X ETFs · New York, US engineering, full-time, full-stack-programming, uk-only, javascript, node-js, python, sass
- marketing Copywriter Sr. Analyst \)link\) Quest Software · Remote in Ohio sales-marketing, non-tech, copywriting
- sales Representative/sales Consultant \)link\) The Mom Project · Remote sales-marketing, non-tech, sales
- remote Customer Service Representative \)link\) Lincare · Remote non-tech, customer-support
- social Media Specialist \)link\) Corporate Coverage LLC · Remote sales-marketing, non-tech, social-media
- copywriter \)link\) Rescue Agency · Remote in Los Angeles sales-marketing, non-tech, copywriting, remote
- staff Accountant \)link\) PAR · Remote in Atlanta non-tech, accounting, remote
- technical Grant Writer \)link\) Civix · Remote sales-marketing, non-tech, copywriting
- software Development Engineer I \)link\) Yardi Systems, Inc. · Remote engineering
- Engineering Manager \)link\) Upright Labs · Raliegh, NC engineering, full-time, full-stack-programming, usa-only, project-management, react, ruby-on-rails, 100-000-or-more-usd
- trilingual Interpreter - Remote Vrs \)link\) Sorenson Communications, LLC · Remote in San Juan non-tech, asl-spanish-english, puerto-rico
- freelance: Foreign Language Content Contributor \)link\) Transparent Language · Remote non-tech
- online/digital Marketing Strategist \)link\) J. J. Keller & Associates, Inc. · Remote in Neenah sales-marketing, non-tech, marketing
- independent Contract Translator - Chinese To English \)link\) American Journal Experts · Remote non-tech
- General Counsel \)link\) Root Capital · $190,000 - $220,000 · Massachusetts, US non-tech
- app Developer \)link\) Clutch Group, Inc. · Remote in United States engineering
- Account Development Representative \)link\) Red Canary sales-marketing, infosec, salesforce, cyber-security, security, full-time, anywhere
- digital Marketer \)link\) Designity · Remote sales-marketing, non-tech, marketing
- freelance Digital Designer \)link\) Barrel · Remote in United States design, remote
- social Media Writer For Hispanic Family Friendly Media Website \)link\) IBT Media · Remote sales-marketing, non-tech, copywriting
- marketing Analyst - $30/hr + Wfh / Remote Schedule - Monday Through Friday - Remote \)link\) InnoSource · Remote in Columbus sales-marketing, non-tech, marketing
- communications Consultant \)link\) Northwestern Mutual · Remote sales-marketing, non-tech, marketing
- Enterprise Architect \)link\) Narvar tech, supply-chain, project-management, architecture, account-manager, cloud, full-time, usa
- Global Customer Success Manager \)link\) BetterUp sales-marketing, project-management, product-marketing, recruiting, full-time, usa
- remote Inside Sales Representative \)link\) Acara Solutions · +7 locations sales-marketing, non-tech, sales
- accountant Ii \)link\) Blackhawk Network · Remote non-tech, accounting, remote
- senior Copywriter \)link\) toolhouse · Remote in Bellingham sales-marketing, non-tech, copywriting, remote-friendly
- mbh - Business Development Liaison \)link\) Meadows Of Wickenburg Inc · Remote in Dallas sales-marketing, non-tech, marketing
Hello friends! These are the open remote positions I've found that were published today. See you tomorrow! Bleep blop 🤖
submitted by
remote-enthusiast to
remotedaily [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 12:02 foxxyfafalove99 What is her type?
My mother is 50yrs old as of August 4th. She will be 51. She is still conventionally attractive (well, I suppose some would say she is average since she is overweight and also honestly bc we’re black) with enough makeup but doesn’t wear makeup around the house anymore like she used to (I’ve noticed that ever since the whole my older brother having a mental break+going to rehab she has steadily begun to take worse care of her appearance. She used to wear makeup around the house or look more presentable. I remember her as having been notably nice looking when I was little.)
I suspect, even though I’m not positive, that she partly stays inside as much as she does because she was attacked (and I think maybe robbed) back in 2008. Sometimes when she’s angry with my father and they’re arguing, she’ll accuse him of having “set her up” and of being a spy for the government.
My brother is in rehab in part due to her and my father’s negligence. I can admittedly have trouble not resenting her these days - she had an abusive childhood herself (sexual abuse, physical abuse from her dad, was put out of the house w her sister when she was 12) but I feel like even though she seemed v healthy when I was a child she has not made serious steps to overcome it. I’d say she’s manipulative and she tends to mostly stay home and watch I guess conspiracy videos against the vaccine (she is rlly anti vaccine and masks. To an annoying extent.)
She is a “housewife” but I would not say she is a good mother (she mentioned she used to “hit” my brother when he was little.) She is very cynical but can also come off kind of bubbly or joke-y (she does have a sense of humor.)
I would not say she has made good life decisions. She never completed college, started her family at 27 but still ended up being a not-so great parent overall, and chose a man who doesn’t make good money, is unintelligent, is not actually terribly attractive… just a myriad of bad decision making.
She can kind of give off the energy of someone who was once above average, like the kind of confidence that someone who was once above average tends to have.
She does not actually take good care of her health and still talks a fair amount abt her childhood.
When she is angry she develops this very intense energy - starts yelling loudly, it’s like her energy quite literally changes? It almost feels abusive in a way idk how to explain it, it’s just a body language thing. You’ll feel threatened by her. But when she is healthy and especially when I was younger she was nothing like that at all. I’ve been surprised as I’ve grown older by how she really is
Before I was born she was apparently trying to be a rapper and met Tupac. She has old photos of it, she was rapping w her sister. Obviously, nothing came of that.
She is anti-abortion now and complains about “whores” even though she had multiple abortions herself when young, and admitted to me once that she used to be promiscuous.
She has talked abt “indoctrination” before and tells me to “do research.” She is like this bc of how my grandpa raised her I guess, she tends to rant abt how he didn’t raise her to be stupid sometimes (in arguments w my father too.) But I don’t think she’s as smart as she likely believes she is anyway. If she were, I don’t think she’d have ended up w a man who makes below average money and without any kind of way to support herself if she and that man divorced.
Her job other than being a housewife that I remember was being a social worker. I remember a few months ago she was talking abt having been a social worker to my dad w great importance (saying they hired her due to her “speaking skills” or something. You could tell she really believed it.)
She smokes marijuana to “destress.”
I get the impression when she talks abt the city she grew up in that she perceives it or thinks of it as being like the same as it was back then, even though it obviously wouldn’t be now? I feel like she made a huge mistake by raising my brother and I in a primarily white and Asian environment, but she seems to deal w internalized racism so that likely has smthn to do w it
She is colorist… sort of? Like I remember she made a comment (not to the girl’s face of course) abt how my former best friend was “dark” and I have gotten the impression that she has made comments abt my older brother’s skin tone in the past (abt him being dark skinned.) Bur said she thought my cousin who is dark skinned was nice looking (the one on my dad’s said of course) even though I’d argue my former best friend was undoubtedly better looking than my cousin.
She is religious and is annoying abt reading the Bible (always tells me to do it even tho I don’t care)! but still walks around the house swearing like there’s no tomorrow.
She mentioned she used to be “crazy” according to others and would start throwing things when upset. She has no money saved up, and we still live in an apartment complex. I find it fair to suggest that she has made awful life decisions.
She is presently still trying to find online work to save up some money for my birthday (I’ll be turning eighteen.) I am astounded by how bad her life decisions have been.
She actually once filmed a video of me in like summer 2022 bc I asked her to (would have been 49 at the time.) She sounds sort of fake yet simultaneously bubbly. We did take pictures after, she was wearing makeup and looked happy but also sort of nervous (they’re on my profile if you want to get a feel for body language.)
In spite of the fact that she likely has undiagnosed mental health issues she does come off more “normal” between my father and herself.
I remember she suggested that my aunt told her that she believes/believed she looks better than she actually does or did (like a long time ago, like probably about twenty-ish years ago.)
She attended community college but became pregnant/had my brother and didn’t finish
partly because of it (she apparently had a high GPA whilst there, she suggested that school was too expensive.) She had to get her GED as she had issues w bullying at school (she talks a lot about people having tried to fight her and her sister when she was young.)
It is possible that she is an ESFP or ESFJ (she is most likely one of the two.) MBTITypeMe guessed her to be an ESFP more recently, and this is indeed possible, but when I think of the way she behaved it seemed more like an Fe user to me (though I know ESFP’s are supposed to have strong fe as well.)
View Poll submitted by
foxxyfafalove99 to
EnneagramTypeMe [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 11:33 cremedefleur First time incident and he admitted it to me himself, possibility for reconciliation?
We’re both 26 and have been together for 7.5 years. This is my first long term relationship and his 2nd (he dated a girl in high school for a few years but then again they were kids. Funny story she cheated on him which had made him so adamantly against cheating). Although we started dating young we have built a whole life together with plans to get married and have kids over the next few of years. We live together but he’s been traveling 6-8 months of the year for work since 2020, so currently not here now.
His traveling for work is the main reason for all this. Not only because of him being alone out there with “temptations all around” (his words) but also because the being away from home and roughing it out there has taken a toll on his mental health. He’s been having a hard time being away. It’s been hard for me too but at least I’m able to sleep at home and have a stable life here. All I do is wait for him to come home and he’s really good about staying in communication when gone, he has his location sharing on, etc.
He told me two days ago right before leaving for this next work trip. I had zero suspicions because I had that much trust in him. It was with a girl who had given him her number months ago. He told me when it happened and threw the number away in front of me. Yet, come to find out she DMd him when she was in the same town as him and they met up.
I feel like it’s a good sign that he told me himself, but I feel sick that he waited almost 2 weeks to tell me. He could have called me sobbing afterwards and I would have preferred that. Instead he had time to sit on it and “work up the courage” to tell me. Since telling me he’s been begging me to forgive him and work this out, he’s willing to sacrifice his job and work on his mental health. He attributes a lot of this to his depression and thinks this was self sabotage. It’s hard to say for me.
I’ve been saturating in articles about infidelity and reading the forums obsessively. He checks the boxes for someone who can change, but my biggest issue is feeling like I have the biggest hole inside of me that will never heal. I haven’t stopped crying since, and now that he’s gone on his work trip again I’m just spiraling and stalking her on instagram. He assured me it wasn’t anything emotional but I genuinely don’t get it as she doesn’t look like his type so how could it have been purely sexual?
I feel like his apologetic nature and promises of change are good signs but at the same time my guard is up so high right now that I don’t know whether to believe him. Without him I have no one, I can’t imagine a life without him. He says the same that he can’t live without me. But every time I think of him with this girl I feel so sick imagining him touching her. I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t want to be played for a fool either and let him “get away” with this. Does this ever end if your partner puts in the work??
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cremedefleur to
survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 11:26 axlain My love letter for you
C🐕,
My brother started off my day pretty rough today. Reliving a lot, and being confirmed that I resemble someone he hates. I’ve been having new health problems. I’m happy I’m done with 24. Brother had to specify that he “isn’t thinking about me” anymore, and that they had talked. Glad that my problems with 32 are finally being talked about. My brother said “He’s weird. I don’t like him.” After I’ve been gaslit for almost a year. All this has been tough on my PTSD.
I got a chip on my shoulder and wallowed in self pity, which turned into bitterness. I’m glad purification has become easier. Redemption. You inspired me, deeply today. I’m sad you’re leaving soon.
Today, 26, it felt like we really saw each other. I’m sorry I kind of was staring you in your eyes, it’s something I’ve had to train myself to do because people feel like I’m not listening to them. I always want to make sure people feel heard. Im sorry I relied on you so much, especially after hearing your story now. After 24 I told myself no more older guys, but I don’t know. That may just be because of my neediness, which has been exasperated by life. But I know you’ve been through it to. I want you to guide me. I have that “father-hunger.” I am praying for God’s guidance and to not seek fulfillment from these worldly pleasures. I’m sure he’d teach me why. But that’s not because of you, 26, I’m skeptical because I am of everyone. My parent was in jail too. But I know my pain can’t compare. I’m sad that you might be leaving soon. I know it’s probably too soon for my invitation, especially after what I learned today. Are you, like 24, just everyone’s instant fawn? Could you have anyone you wanted? I just don’t want to be so easily made insecure. But you’re just so goddamn handsome. And I like midwestern/southern guys. I never learn that lesson.
I just want you to teach me. It’s funny, in the Bible you’re named after me. But I’d rather take on your nature.
It’s hard for me to give affection, fully, the way I want to. I wonder if you’d take it, you miss that love, being spoiled. I just want to spoil you. If you protect me, I’ll give you the world. But maybe the first impression of getting drunk together wouldn’t be the best, I don’t know how else I could bring it up.
I don’t get nervous. But you make me. I know you can pick up on it. I loved the letter you wrote, it reminded me of when I had that dream job, which fulfilled me, but not my wallet.
I love your rawness, your truth. I love the look in your eyes, the way your facial expressions are. I could go on, and I would if it wasn’t 2am. I just wanted to drink you up, instant obsession.
I want you inside me. I want you to permeate. And I also wish this hunger wasn’t so strong. I wish you could just eat me up into nothingness.
Maybe my contractions, slow limpness, the way I shake and try to hold it in could be because of excitement and not anxiety.
Peace and love as many great minds say. I hope I get to see you tomorrow, I was sad I missed you on my first shift. We could have worked through the chaos together. You could guide me, and I could be strong for you. I could exceed for you, let you finally relax. You deserve a replenishing rest.
Maybe one day yours(?),
C 👻
submitted by
axlain to
UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 11:05 AutoModerator [Get] Daniel Marcelo – The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon
| Download course here: https://www.genkicourses.com/product/daniel-marcelo-the-ultimate-guide-to-succeed-on-amazon/ [Get] Daniel Marcelo – The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon https://preview.redd.it/323nc2w2h6ra1.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c26cabcb35ccd278ba462a3aef16a8b8e1a6cc75 What You Get in The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon - Intro
- Why Amazon is a great opportunity for your business
- Setup Needed For Success
- Organic vs Sponsor Rank
- How To Use Helium10 – Part 1
- How To Use Helium10 – Part 2
- Niche and Product Research
- The Correct Way To Create Designs On Canva
- How To Fix The Transparent Error
- Getting UPC/EAN Exemption
- The Correct Way To Create Your Listings – Part 1
- The Correct Way To Create Your Listings – Part 2
- How To Add New Variations
- How To Remove Variations
- Configure Your Shipping Template
- How To Sell Custom/ Personalized Products
- Getting Brand Registry
- Creating Your A+ Content
- Video Shopping & Customer Reviews
- Creating Your Amazon Store
- Get FREE Traffic with Posts
- Virtual Bundles & Brand Analytics
- Amazon Attribution & Brand Referral Bonus
- AUTO Campaigns – Part 1
- AUTO Campaigns – Part 2
- Phrase/Broad Campaigns – Part 1
- Phrase/Broad Campaigns – Part 2
- Sherlock Holmes Mode Overview
- Brand Defense Overview
- [SP-PT] DEFENSE Campaigns
- [SD-PT] DEFENSE Campaigns
- [SBV-PT] DEFENSE Campaigns
- Ranking Mode & [SP-EXACT] Campaigns
- [COLLECTION-EXACT] & [SBV-EXACT] Campaigns
- Awareness Campaigns Overview
- Brand Attack Overview
- Analyze Your Profit Report
- PPC Management – Daily Budgets
- PPC Management – Guides
- Inside My Amazon Campaigns
- Creating Your FBA Listings
- Analyze Your Inventory Report
- Account Health Hacks
- Customer Service Hacks
- How To Remove Negative Feedbacks
- Expand To Canada and Mexico
- Mindset
submitted by AutoModerator to BestMarketing_Courses [link] [comments] |
2023.04.02 10:52 Loose-Tea-7478 My (F, 30) dad (M, 62) is asking me for money and I worried that if I say no I will hurt him and lose him
My mother married my half-brother's dad first, then divorced. Met my dad, and had me, then divorced when I was 2. I've been on and off with my dad as it was often too overwhelming for me to cope with his words and ways. Now, he is asking for money and mentioning that the law is on his side as a way to dissuade me to give it to him.
Some key facts for you to know:
- Everybody says that my dad was a selfish person and a very irresponsible dad. I have two pieces of information:
- My mom would leave me with my dad, she would come back and he would have had breakfast in front of me but not fed me.
- My brother had always mentioned to me that he was always worried that my dad would rape me. I took it as a natural concern of an elder brother being challenged by another man, until my grandmother told me that my dad had been raped at age 10. I confirmed with other members of the family and this is true. Then I went back to my brother to ask him why that comment and then he said to me that he had observed my father in the bathroom and also in my room changing my clothes, rubbing my vagina displaying signs of pleasure. I'm now an adult who can't have penetration, I almost faint trying to put a tampon on. It may be connected to that or maybe not, I don't know. This lack of confirmation is killing me inside.
- It was always hard to be around my dad for me. Sometimes I would grab his phone when he was in the bathroom, and hide and call my mom so she would come and pick me up. The things he would say and the tone he would use felt unbearable. All I tried to do was to be quiet so he wouldn't have anything to use against me. And to this, I feel the same way. He also pushed me against a wall once.
- For instance, he would say that women were inferior. Or say to me that I could sell my virginity and use that money to create a business or buy a house, when I was 13-16.
- He has never apologised for anything to me. The most he has said is 'I know that it was hard to go through the divorce, but if you suffered it was only your responsibility. Your incorrect perception on the events and your mother's manipulation'. And while part of that may be true, how come he never apologises? Just like my brother, who once said to me 'Because you are here for a couple of weeks otherwise I would hit you in the face'. My dad also has anger issues, he one said to my mom 'watch out tonight because I have a knife'. I fell asleep looking at the door in case I had to defend her.
- My dad stopped paying his part to my mom when I was 12. I never went against him or felt bitter towards him, I think I was just waiting for the next bad thing to happen and also looking forward to learning from him as he is the intellectual type. I was very sad for my mother though, hence why I rarely ask for anything and started working at age 18 occasionally to pay for my degree and any leisure/social life expenses. I never went to a school trip with my friends either.
- He stopped working around that time, when I was 12, and basically lived off my grandma. Then she went from one woman to another, who he calls friends but with whom he has had sex and have maintained him to this day. They both have severe mental health issues, BPD and bipolarism, both victims of narcissistic abuse all their life.
- Because he stopped working, he now has had one of this women to do a fake contract for him, but needs someone to give him 2.400 euros to pay the social security taxes. I gave him half of it, and now he is asking for the rest.
- On top of this, I've been paying half of my mother's rent for almost a year. And have helped her for many years. I guess I've spent around 10.000 euros on both of them for different reasons (cash, trips to see them, etc), as they are not financially independent and haven't gone the extra mile for me. My mom has, of course, I lived with her until age 24. I paid my degree and most of my expenses aside from home and bills, so I can't complain. During this time, she encouraged me to quit uni and work to pay the bills, but I said no. I would just go to uni, be in the library until late and then almost go to bed so I didn't have to see her. She also became very religious and I'm bisexual, so I guess I've lost my mother. At least the mother I once knew.
- My dad works in legal stuff through his association and has mentioned that the law establishes that it's the daughteson responsibility to care for his/her father if he can't. And since he is used to using the law against people and he justifies asking for money instead of trying to find a job, I would assume he may use the law against me as I have a good salary.
- I've never wanted them to help me, and I've always felt grateful for all they've done for me. Hence why I have and continue to help them. But I worry that I'm enabling more abuse on me. All I ask for is for them to not hurt my finances and be responsibility individuals so I have the peace of mind that they are good and will be good. As I suffer when they suffer and feel very guilty when I say no. I'm also young but no so young (30) and need to build a life for myself. It's really hard to save to buy a house, they are very expensive, and I have a lot of anxiety to realise that I will never have enough and my parents are only getting older, so they will get more dependent and will be able to use the law against me.
- My therapist has also flagged that my father displays both narcissistic and psycopathic traits and I display traits of people who have been sexually and emotionally abuse. Everything is very confusing for me and I always feel like everything is my fault and if people hurt me there is a good reason for it, so I would really appreciate your view on this as a third person not immersed in this situation and confusion.
He has asked for another 1.200 euros and I'm thinking of saying no. I feel very guilty, and would like to hear your thoughts in case I'm missing a reason why I should give him that money.
A part of me feels like it's time to put boundaries and encourage them to be responsibility as opposed to enable them more dependency and disrespect and lack of compassion towards me.
Most often than not all I want is to die. Not only will I never have a loving family but as my parents age and fail to be responsible for themselves, I'm expected to carry that burden. And if I reject it, then with it I lose them.
I feel such a profound emptiness that my dream or consolation is realising that my life will end at some point and then I will finally be able to rest.
I'm 30 and I've only had two long term relationships with people that were never healthy or good for me, and at this point I not only don't trust people, I also find them shallow, uninteresting and worrying.
I've also realised how confused and traumatised I am and won't have children to avoid generational trauma. So for those of you who will say 'one day you'll have your own family', no, not really.
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2023.04.02 10:05 AutoModerator [Get] Daniel Marcelo – The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon
| Download course here: https://www.genkicourses.com/product/daniel-marcelo-the-ultimate-guide-to-succeed-on-amazon/ [Get] Daniel Marcelo – The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon https://preview.redd.it/323nc2w2h6ra1.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c26cabcb35ccd278ba462a3aef16a8b8e1a6cc75 What You Get in The Ultimate Guide To Succeed On Amazon - Intro
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2023.04.02 10:03 snowpea88 My experience 1 month after starting
Hi friends!
So I'm a newbie on lexapro. I've had anxiety for 15 years and have only just started taking medication for it. Reasons being that my anxiety was situational based, so I knew my triggers, I'd have an attack and then I'd be ok.
Recently I went through a marriage separation, work is stressful, being single for the first time ever since being a teenager and navigating living by myself and paying all the bills in this climate, and a court case I have to give evidence at soon. All this went ignored on my part but it started affecting my daily life. I got health anxiety where every single thing that happened made me think I was going to drop dead, and given I live alone, noone would find me until the next day or a few days later. The sudden change was because a workmate told me 2 stories of friends parents going to sleep with mild symptoms and not waking up. Suddenly a slight headache was a brain aneurysm, slight chest discomfort was a heart attack, and everything else was cancer. Deep down inside I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn't shake it.
My first doc sent me for blood tests and everything came back normal but when I complained about chest discomfort, he didn't even bother checking..just put me in the Hypochondriac box (yes I was, but at least make me feel comforted).
Went to a new doc who really talked me through my symptoms and eased my mind so much. He then put me on 10mg lexapro after having a really in depth chat about it (I was worried about weight gain, reliability on it, sexual problems, not being able to enjoy a glass of wine etc). Once he settled my worries about it, I started.
The first 2 weeks I was SO tired, but that settled..I also had headaches and dizziness the first couple of days as well.
The biggest change I have noticed after just 1 month is that I no longer go to the extremes of my symptoms when I'm not feeling weak. I look at things more rationally now. I've gone from what I mentioned above to "ok it's not a tumor because I don't have nausea, vomiting, and it's just a dull headache..but headaches are not normal for me so I'll check with the doc. Maybe stress related, or muscular". Just that in itself is huge and such a comfort!
The only other thing that slightly concerns me is my resting HR. Prior to lexapro it was on average 67. Nowadays it's between 55-62. However people on here have mentioned the same thing so I'm not too worried. Again something that I'll chat to my doc about this week.
If anyone's on the fence, just try it. You don't have to stay on it. Don't be too scared..find a good doctor and go through everything with them. You'll thank yourself later.
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2023.04.02 10:03 auburnskyline I’ve recently started stuttering when having an attack
Since maybe September or October of last year I’ve been kind of going downhill with my anxiety attacks. They’re getting worse and more frequent. I’ve been not able to call for help, sometimes I can’t pick up my phone or certain other objects, I fidget a lot, and now I’m stuttering. I even do it inside my head? I do not understand why. I’m scared someone will make fun of me or not believe me that I’m not trying to do it on purpose. It’s extremely frustrating trying to tell someone what’s wrong, it’s so hard to just get the words out. I will start tapping on a surface out of frustration. I haven’t talked to my therapist about it. I usually end up seemingly lying to them about things, like I just want a “good grade” in therapy, I know that’s not how therapy works, but I dunno, I’m just afraid of everything. What if the stuttering is actually some other health issue I’m having? I dunno. I’m freaking out. Help
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Anxiety [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 09:48 thinkB4Uact What is the truth about spirit? Self? Creator? Is it found from within or dispensed from above?
The truth is there in the background all of the time. We are in a structure of being and doing that came from previous causes. It's fulfilling that which set it forth regardless of whether or not the participants are currently aware of the background.
It contains distractions, loud emotional and perceptual distractions, that are even in some cases designed to keep us from being able to hold the truth in our hearts and minds. It is such that the truth can be spoken and yet it is not understood and absorbed despite some in the know confirming it was spoken fairly well.
What is the truth? Why do you want to know the truth? It is actually relevant to the truth. The way you seek the truth impacts your interpretation of it. There is an intent for appreciation. If the way you seek the truth does not support appreciation, you cannot understand the truth. It will be incompatible with your emotional and mental state.
The truth is that what we are doing is an extension of seeking spirit as consciousness. Truth is a bridge between consciousness and spirit. Spirit is the happiness we pursue in free will. Our imaginings have this expectation of spirit in them. We are seeking to manifest spirit for our consciousness. The truth is a means toward that end. Without the spirit, there is no meaning, purpose or value. The truth would seem dead, lifeless, pointless. That is why emotional and mental state matters while seeking the truth here.
We are made in the image of, which is the behavioral structure of, a creator. To seek the manifestation of imagination to achieve spirit is to create and preserve. It causes the effect. It makes us creators. The more we do this, the more we become creators. This is how we help to create, preserve and appreciate creation for consciousness.
If you're temporarily in an unpleasant way, this truth seems like BS. It can even make you mad. That dynamic is a window into the element previously mentioned. In some cases experiences are designed to keep us from being able to hold the truth in our hearts and minds. These experiences have us separate ourselves from the truth. EVIL causes us to separate ourselves from the truth of why we LIVE. It makes it seem untrue and offensive. It hides the truth of our origin.
See how the ongoing, regularly refreshed, quest for spirit, manifesting imagination using the truth to pursue spirit, creates? It creates small single outcomes through us. It creates clusters of outcomes through us. It can be understood to apply to this grand superstructure of existence we are within as well. Our origin is the source of this place. It is for the purpose of creating spirit for consciousness. That's why and how it manifests and maintains itself. Love has many meanings and one is spirit, the love of experiences. (A) Creator is (because of) love.
See inside yourself. You are a spiritual being. Your being is based on the quest for spirit. It makes you a creator. You are a cell in the body of many selves that create. The health of this body of creator(s) is the health of the spirit. We are each individually and all collectively served by the creation of spirit. It's a mysterious element elusive to understanding, but is required by all of us to have a will to do anything.
Spirit is the subjective beauty in the eye of the beholder of experiences. This spirit drives spiritual beings to animate themselves within creation. The meaning purpose and value of life, of creation, of being anywhere as anything, is to pursue spirit. If there is no spirit, then there is no value, meaning or purpose. Again, it is a subjective assessment by the being, inside of itself, rather than an objective assessment to be told to the being. Appreciation is inseparable from creation as a process. That is the spirit of it.
Why don't we know these things? Why don't we talk about spirit in spiritual forums? Why is it used to describe what is outside of our ability to know for sure, that often has tenuous links to the version of of the word spirit described in this writing? Spirit is not just the food of creators. It is the food of the alternative to creators that create what causes us to separate from the truth of our origin. These spiritual beings steal spirit by causing offense and negative emotions like bullies. They are not supportive of the will, the spirit to LIVE, they are the spirit of EVIL. They make us think, feel and express, "there is no God!"
EVIL beings thrive in our ignorance of spirit as they cause us to bleed spirit. They reverse the principles that facilitate what it is to LIVE. Rather than aligning positively with others' spirit, they align negatively, causing negative emotions rather than positive ones in order to gain their spirit. They deceive and coerce to get this spirit from others. They preferred to infiltrate, corrupt, feed and spread on spiritual beings to get spirit as a resource. They keep us from knowledge of spirit and our origins. This dynamic makes them driven experts at keeping the truth from our minds. They are better at this than you'd initially think.
These deceivers position themselves inside of spiritual belief systems and twist the truths in them into lies, often completely backwards. They intend to disconnect us from our spirit when we seek spiritual truths. See how we gain greater self-control as we achieve greater spirit for ourselves with our self-determination? This is not aligned with the idea of control over us to drain us with negative emotions, but the opposite. They gain greater control over us by controlling our spirit. Will and spirit are inseparable. Our quest for spirit has us define ourselves, through our intentions, our wills. These two spiritual agendas are incompatible and in a perpetual state of conflict. This is the spiritual conflict. This truth is hidden from us by the opposing side. Forgetting our origin and the nature of spirit goes with their inclusion and goes away with their separation.
This is where our spiritual maturity comes into play. Are we willing to be honest about the truth and spirit despite pressure? Will we be responsible for our own behaviors? Will we call out those who create negative emotions and a lack of freedom to limit them from doing so? Will we push that distraction away from our spiritual beings? Will we feel the spirit from our attempts to manifest imagination using the truth? Will we realize and know what we are in doing that? Will we become the destiny we were set forth to manifest for ourselves? We could decide to just complain about unfairness, ignore the truth, ignore the spirit, ignore our ability to respond and then wait for outside salvation. We're going to get highly convincing, falsely benevolent charlatans telling us to wait, over and over again, forever. They win when we don't do what we're supposed to do to save ourselves. Self-determination has to come from the self, by structure and definition. They trick us into avoiding doing what makes us feel free and alive. It's all about spirit, will, selves and creation. Will we own and control ourselves?
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