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2023.04.02 13:41 ThrowRAanon164 Advice trigger warning SA 29F have been in a relationship with 36M for nearly 3 years

I have been with J off and on nearly 3 years, I have told him about my history of sexual trauma Previous to this latest incident he came to my house late one night drunk and coerced me into sex during which I froze and was unable to say no Also another time while we were both drunk, he didn't wear protection after me asking him to, finished in me and then wouldn't talk to me after I fell pregnant then consequently had a miscarriage Prior to the above incident, he had a vasectomy performed but never went back to have it's success verified despite me asking numerous times We are both shift workers, last week we went to bed late before our 12.5 hour shifts the next day We got into bed and had a cuddle before J asked if I wanted to get intimate. I said no as it was too late He said it's never too late, I said no and he put it in, I said no again. I froze then eventually moved away He said afterward that he didn't feel that it was in. it wasn't violent and he stopped after I moved away In the following days we discussed it and he acknowledged how I felt, but stated it was simply a miscommunication and he felt like I saw him as a predator. I don't know what to do, would you stay? could the relationship be repaired after this?
submitted by ThrowRAanon164 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:41 Bitter-Guarantee6026 bf (23m) is still grossed out by my (23f) period

we’ve been together nearly 4 years, our anniversary is less than two weeks away. we started dating a year before the pandemic, and in the beginning he expressed he wasn’t comfortable with period sex. my previous partner was so it was a little bit of an adjustment for me, but my previous partner also made me do sexual things i wasn’t comfortable with so i prioritized how my bf felt about it over how i felt about it. a month before the pandemic, i got my iud. i experienced spotting every day for 3 months straight, and because of this, the topic obviously boiled up and needed attention. slowly, through exposure and some thought to it, he came around to the idea and we started to have sex with my light spotting (most of it flushed out once i got turned on obviously). the spotting stopped after the 3 months, and then i stopped getting my period in general, so the problem was resolved seemingly. flash forward 3 years, im assuming the hormones on it are either changing or running out, as i’m starting to get my period again. he and i are both readjusting, re-learning the cramps and the emotional swings, the cravings and whatnot, but last night we tried to be intimate. he’s aware i’m on my period and he initiated. the last time i was on my period and he initiated, he backed out and i got insecure, so i was hoping he’d worked it through in the passed month. once he told me he wanted to take some clothes off, i piped up and reminded him i was on my period and asked if that was okay. he asked if i was “actively bleeding,” and i paused a little bit out of confusion. that was the period part. i said yes. he got quiet and basically told me he didn’t want to anymore, that it wasn’t me and that it was the blood that freaked him out. i got quiet too but went into comfort mode, saying it was alright and that i didn’t want him to do anything sexually he wasn’t comfortable with. he stayed quiet and just kept saying he was sorry. i said it was fine a couple times but hid how hurt i felt again. feeling like a teenager, feeling so ashamed of her natural body. during a period it’s so normal to be craving sex, too. we both kinda turned our backs to each other and fell asleep after that, but i keep thinking about it. i feel like i went to sleep with blue balls and now am left with this insecurity. not only do i not want to be sexually ungratified, but i don’t want to be left with this feeling of feeling like a gross bleeding nasty monster (which is obviously not true). however i also don’t want to be a pushy partner that forces someone to do something they aren’t comfortable with for selfish purposes. is there anything i can physically do or how to approach talking to him? any exposure therapy that has helped other couples with a “blood barrier”?
tldr; bf worked through his period sex fear previously but it’s come back after a couple years, is there anything i can do to improve this part of my relationship or do i just have to respect his boundary?
submitted by Bitter-Guarantee6026 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:40 NewRedditAcctBud26 Brother won't stop harassing me

My brother won't stop harassing me around the house, insulting me and making fun of me. Does anyone know what to do if someone's nearly constantly stalking you?
submitted by NewRedditAcctBud26 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:38 FloatingCupcakes Haven't played for nearly a year, what have I missed?

Greetings fellow Tenno. As per the title, I've not played since last summer, and the reason behind it was that I burnt out. HARD.
I played Warframe nearly exclusively for little over two years, and when I finally hit MR30 I put my controller down and I was DONE. Over 1600 hours and I'd achieved practically everything I'd set out to achieve (max rank with all factions, finished Railjack, MR30, more plat than I knew what to do with, etc etc).
However, despite the burnout I really enjoyed my time playing. There's still more stuff I need to do (never finished building my Dojo, Angels of the Zariman had only just dropped when I decided that enough was enough so I finished the relevant story/lore of the update but never maxed my faction rank with them, and I had plans to focus on an Eidolon farming build but never got round to it).
I recently finished playing another game and wondered if it was worth dipping my toes back into Warframe.
Would you guys be so kind as to give me a brief rundown of what's happened since Angels dropped? Cross-play was going to be the next big thing but I didn't hang around for long enough to see if they implemented it, and I have no idea if any new content or other game changing updates have been released since middle of last year.
Thanks Tenno. (Apologies for any formatting issues, I'm on mobile).
submitted by FloatingCupcakes to Warframe [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:38 SCT-RP 25 [M4F] Scotland/Anywhere - Hobbyist Photographer & history/philosophy reader looking to voice chat!

Hey there. I am 25 and currently live in Glasgow City Centre. I work in IT/Admin but since graduating I have been feeling that this is something I don't want to do forever? I would like to do something that helps others, rather than helping companies line their pockets...
But anyway, quarter-life crisis aside; my main interest is reading history and philosophy. I have always enjoyed reading about history, especially empires of old. I would love to visit Rome, Athens, Egypt and so on to see some of the remains of these times in person!
Philosophy is a recent interest of mine. I am nowhere near an expert, nor vastly knowledgeable, I just like to read different views on the world & morality. Very eager to rant about either, or hear some rants!
I also enjoy photography. Although again, I am not an expert. Very much a hobbyist. I like cityscapes and landscapes the most. I would like to try portraits but I lack any friends willing to model. I worked at a summer camp in the US in 2019 'teaching' photography and have many stories from then!
Outside of this, I like to try and read, although I have to admit I haven't in a while. I enjoy some light gaming and am also very amazed by VR, I think it is such a mind-blowing technology that is so accessible already. I also like to world-build and write!
Feel free to message me if you would like to chat more!
submitted by SCT-RP to r4r [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:37 SuperNoob74 I was stationed as a security guard for an old warehouse in Mexico filled with barrels?

One night out of curiosity I decided to open one barrel slightly and shine my flashlight inside only to see a nearly liquified corpse staring back at me
submitted by SuperNoob74 to TwoSentenceHorror [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:37 Ralphi2449 Brakion inconsistent sniper damage

Brakion sniper damage feels incredibly inconsistent, sometimes doing like 30% of my health and other times only 16% (3 shots getting me down to only 50%)
This was something I noticed early on and it has become more and more obvious after doing it solo legend each week. I very clearly noticed that in the third phase when was going for cover he hit me for almost 1/3 of my health, i was certain it was his attack since nothing else was hitting me at the time and the health dropped instantly.
So then I start thinking what if it does more damage to your sides/back, tested it by getting hit on purpose while near the vex pillar and the damage was always the same be it front, back or side, 3 shots=almost 50% of my health so around 16% per shot. I am not certain what causes him to do almost double damage randomly, anyone got any theories? could it be fps related
I was playing void warlock with 10 resil, no overshields, the same resistance mods for the entire run so there were no temporary buffs to explain the damage resistance or changes.
submitted by Ralphi2449 to DestinyTheGame [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:36 onlyliving82 40 [M4F] #portimao, portugal looking for a Younger girl to connect with

40 [M4F] #portimao, portugal looking for a Younger girl to connect with
Just like the title says looking for a Younger girl to connect with to get to know to build a friendship and maybe a relationship . I know i wont find anyone near me here só long distance its just fine Im a pretty average 40 male from Portugal Im into Marvel DC Starwars Sports and martial arts I like to listen to music a lot . I like watching series and movies Walk on the beach Play some games Im a naturist Im an open book feel free to ask anything you want to know Hope to get some messages Hope to find someone to conect with
submitted by onlyliving82 to AgeGapPersonals [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:35 postmalonewife Anyone else scared?(vent)

I took the combination of maths,IT, economics and maths (looks pretty right) and I got A*s in these subjects and igcses but I’ve been flacking ever since I joined AS level.
In mocks I got bbbc the c was in economics (67), kinda lost hope cause this time I actually put in effort did past papers read content and somehow managed to perform worse than I did in first term (aaac the c still in economics) Atp idk whether it’s my fault or maybe my business and economics teacher(it’s the same guy) is just so strict when marking. Any tips for these two subjects please I’m tired of 60s
I’ve also just got the worst math grade I’ve ever achieved and it’s like my sure subject so not scoring as high as I usually do has kinda affected me more than I’m letting on idk.
I’m quite confident with IT especially practical I just hope the final paper isn’t excel cause it’s so unpredictable but I hope it’s a mixture of both database and video editing. Theory is a b****(keep it halal) but I’m not that scared cause grade thresholds tend to be low.Of course I’m going to keep putting in more and more effort cause the finals are near.
Any advice on these subjects
submitted by postmalonewife to alevel [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:32 Jireh02 Currently trying to make sense of my childhood and parents, not sure if I'm angry at them or not

So my childhood was weird and pretty fucked. My mum was from poverty and an extremely abusive background, my dad is from the opposite type of background, he has wealthy parents. Because of this I was raised without money issues, which was nice, but I feel like both my parents fucked me up looking back on my childhood. I'm mixed race, white dad and black mum, my mum raised me with this weird irrational fear of black men. She kept me away from my uncles, and basically didn't let me near any black men growing up. My mum yelled at me a lot and beat me, she was just really angry a lot and anything could trigger her so I kinda walked on eggshells around her. My dad was a timid and very to himself type of guy, all he cared about was sports and grades, as long as i got good grades I don't think he really cared too much. Anyway, at school I had behaviour issues and I ended up getting kicked out of school. I know my mum was emailing the schools a lot and trying everything she could to keep me in school, but she was also treating me badly at home (in my opinion). She was the type of mother that you couldn't talk back to or else she would become enraged. I grew up as a bad kid I guess, always was in trouble at school and would mess around. The school told my mum that I might be 'special' so she got me checked and I received an autism diagnosis, which she then used to get me out of trouble at school. She told me I was autistic and said that's not a bad thing (even though I barely think I am), yet she called me an autistic freak when arguing with me once. The weirdest thing about my mum is that she could get very angry and turn pretty harsh at any second, but she always defended me when it came to school, she couldn't believe that I was anything other than a good kid. She honestly thought I was some perfect angel. Anyway, despite all this BS happening at home and at school, all this time my mum was on facebook pretending we had some perfect family life.
That was probably like the first 10 years of my life, pretty fucked. As I got older, I learned how to behave better in school, and I started to thrive somewhat, but things were still weird at home. I was a little bit of a bully to my younger sister, to the extent we never had a relationship, she was just someone I lived with. I had a similar sort of relationship with my dad, I feel like he was a bit of a bully to me, he often invalidated my childhood experiences too. He was very much a 'keep quiet, act like it never happened' type of guy. Home was an uncomfortable place, so I hung out outside a lot. During my teenage years I did a lot of weed smoking, shoplifting, that type of stuff. At about 14/15 I remember my parents looked through my phone multiple times and were shocked at some of what they saw, and tried to shame me for it. But by that age I didn't care or give af about what they thought. I realised that my dad ruled through shame, but after I reached a certain age I realised I don't give a fuck what he thinks of me, and he kinda just accepted that. He is a weird guy, I think he has anxiety issues or self esteem issues. My dad only has one friend, he's never been the type to have friends. My mum had a few friends but as I got older she fell out with pretty much every single one of them. I never really had much of a 'community' around me, so I kinda had to make one, and I ended up with the 'bad kids'.
I'm just very confused and don't understand my life or childhood, and was hoping that someone would be able to give some outsider insight. I'm trying to build my relationship back up with my parents now. But not sure who or what is to blame for all of this stuff that's happened.
submitted by Jireh02 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:30 boatcarswag Had unprotected drunk sex with a girl who was not on the pill while travelling. The next day I suggested she take Plan B and she told me not to worry as she is not fertile at this time of the month

I am freaking out inside. I remember nearly reaching climax and pulling out and using Kegels to stop it but some may have still come out. Then we continued having sex until we got tired. Is there any reassurance for me? She’s from a different country to me as we are both travelling
submitted by boatcarswag to Advice [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:30 PeaceRibbon A Semi-Poetic Ode to Our Heroes in Eternal Format Jail

Runeterra is quite the place, with many dangers needed to face. Ruination, Watchers, Noxian gall, yes we ever strive to conquer it all. But though all these threats leave a nasty mark, there’s one enemy I never expected to make an impact so stark. ROTATION! Rotation, ah your cruel inconsideration! Nevermind such petty things as balance and competition, thou steal from us such history and tradition! Bravest warriors who once stood tall, now consigned to a realm surely ignored by near all. But I shall not be silent in the face of this shame, and now sing a requiem to their deserved fame!
Farewell to Brightsteel Formation, the most effective maneuver! Your bravest shields broke any attrition, and your loss is felt in every heart.
Farewell to Captain Arrika, one of my beloved Elites. Surely great was the conviction it took to stuff world-famous landmarks into her travel bag, and oh how deprived future generations will be of your inspiring tactics!
Farewell to Cithria the Bold, so iconic she starred in the game’s greatest trailer. FIE on your pathetic “region break” nonsense, the good girl deserves it!
Farewell to Dragon Chow, our fair nation’s premier cute critter. Perhaps it is a mercy that the dragon is to devour thee no more, but such exile robs us of thy warmth!
Farewell to Egghead Researcher, the most diligent of scholars. Such a backwards move for them to deprive us of your treasure of knowledge, knowledge that protected the Wrenwall well!
Farewell to Gallant Rider, an Elite most courageous and fair! Though you always aimed to hide your face, I quite adored thy hair!
Farewell to Greathorn Companion, Genevive’s most trusted friend. That you should be separated from your master is a tragedy without end.
Farewell to Laurent Bladekeeper and his finest steel. His was the armory that kept duelists equipped, and tourneys shall never again shine like they did with the glint of his blades.
Farewell to Laurent Chevalier, bearer of the winning smile. Oh why did they resent you so, your panache was never unwelcome!
Farewell to Laurent Protege, oh confident pupil. Though some saw you as a mere student, we know deep down you outshone them all.
Farewell to Loyal Badgerbear, yet another ranger’s friend! Is it truly so wrong for Bertrand to live happily ever after with his mighty ally?
Farewell to Mageseeker Conservator, of the Order of the Drip! How horrible the chaos that shall reign, as we are robbed of your discerning eye.
Farewell to Mageseeker Investigator, the polite solicitor. So prim, proper and preened, the loss is enough to make me scream.
Farewell to Mageseeker Inciter, the brave and true. How I’ll miss that unfaltering gaze complimented by heroic blue!
Farewell to Mageseeker Persuader, the drippiest of all! How is Runeterra fashion to survive without your perfect ensemble standing tall?!
Farewell to Petricite Stag, a most elegant creation. Your selfless devotion is never to be understated.
Farewell to Pompous Cavalier, the journeyman yordle. A blade as quick as light, alas consigned to never gleam upon the mainstage again…
Farewell to Radiant Guardian, the most glorious avenger. All who have played from the days of eld know of your splendorous spear, but oh why oh why must it end here?
Farewell to Silverwing Diver, a diamond in the rough. Though elusive as your own keyword, how admirable your gambit plunging straight to the commander!
Farewell to Stalking Broodmother, the ever vigilant. Such relentless fury is a rare find, and one I’m sure all do not wish to leave behind.
Farewell to Swiftwing Lancer, o great summoner of Elites! By thine lance thou felled a thousand foes, and now thy sole witnesses are God and mine prose.
Farewell to Vanguard Bannerman, the most loyal of Demacia! Thy standard’s pride is without equal, we only hope there’ll be a sequel.
Farewell to Vanguard Lookout, and his most steadfast gaze. My sole consolation is taken in his freedom to herd the Elnuks, with whom he’d like to spend his days.
Farewell to Vanguard Redeemer, whose cries ring even now. First they stole thine voice, now they kick thee while thou art down?!
Farewell to the War Chefs, the most important in the army by far. With none left to tastily fill our stomachs, who could help but have a fresh scar?
Farewell to Yordle Ranger, the little rider in the wood. If only they’d have let you stay, I’d take you home if I could.
But above these heroes from every corner of the land, there’s one above the rest whose departure I cannot stand.
Firstblade oh Vanguard Firstblade, thou hast been the finest in many a spade! Your armor ennobled by scratches witnessing your exploits past, your righteous visage undaunted by the plains of battle vast! Yet humble is your soul and heart so mellow, loyal to your lady and sharing the field with your fellow! Counted among the glorious Elite, growing ever more invincible with each battle you meet! Ah, shall Standard even be worth the time, without justice brought by the great hand of thine?
Farewell all you Demacian heroes, and the stories of your deeds which abound. Tis true, in some sense you all shall still be around. But tournaments and tier lists shant ever be the same, indeed without you all they’re surely more lame. I hope one day this predicament shall be amended by some panacea, but till then at least accept my bittersweet “Dema-see ya!”
The least upset Demacia fan
submitted by PeaceRibbon to LegendsOfRuneterra [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:29 Yoshishammy Hello fellow ladies I think I might have a uti for the first time in my life but I’m unsure!

Ok so my only symptom is I feel like I need to pee but I don’t actually need to pee. I did have a weird pain in my side the other day but it was higher up near me ribs so I don’t know if that is related. No pain when I pee and my pee looks normal. As I’ve said I’ve never had an uti before so I’m kinda new to this… I’m 19 lol. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been wearing leggings which I’ve never done before. I haven’t changed any of my habits so besides starting to wear leggings! When should I go in to the doctor for this?? Should I wait a bit or should I immediately go in even though it’s not bad.
submitted by Yoshishammy to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:27 Acrobatic_Panic_7307 I now know why my mom did what she did.

Growing up I always wondered why my mom grew super secretive about her address. She barely let any friends or family come over.
Whenever someone would ask her for her address she would start to try to throw them off with a different subject. Or she would just give the street name or the address of the house two blocks from us.
Basically threw people for a loop when they wanted to come "hang out" or just come over for the fuck of it. Very introverted lady, now I understand her ways.
After I moved out, me and my fiance was nice enough to give his group of friend our address to come hang out some days.
Mind you, SOME days. As in every other week or so. They unemployed so they ain't got shit else to do.
These motherfuckers would come over and stuff and hang out sometimes. Then they started line stepping. They wanted to hang out every damn DAY and then started popping up.
I had to nip that shit in the bud immediately. Then my father started popping up out of nowhere. I stopped answering the door for his ass after the first time, because all he wanted to do was argue.
He stopped doing it. THEN we got a new place, his sister wanted to see the new apartment real bad for some reason. So we let her do so, which means giving up our location. Well, I don't want to cut him off from any family cause I'm not a weird ass possessive girlfriend. Who isolates her lover from friends and family.
Now his sister starting to make this into a damn near everyday thing. For example, if she comes over on Monday, she wouldn't come over on Tuesday, then she'll come over on Wednesday. That pattern continues. We been in this motherfucker for a week. Mind we have to sleep at a certain time cause we work overnight, but she would just text one of us out of nowhere and be like "I'm coming over after school or work." Whatever the case may be.
But she would just be like "I'm coming over." Don't ask or nothing just I'm coming over. SAME DAY. She did this THREE TIMES already.
Then she would stay until we gotta go to work, 11pm!! She would have school in the morning and damn well know it was a school night. Would try to be slick and fall asleep like we just going to leave her there to spend the night.
NO. You better GET your ass UP!! She be stepping with us out the damn door cause she is NOT spending the night right now, it be school nights, and she has a car so she needs to know when to dip out of someone's house.
I'm finna nip this shit in the bud too because she gotta warn us at least 24-48 hours in advance. Don't just text us out of nowhere same day and be like I'm coming over. Girl for what??! We ain't doing shit, we be smoking a bit then fall asleep and I don't want to be waken up by company.
This just taught me that's why you don't give out your address because people are worrisome as fuck.
Like why you wanna go over somebody house every minute and stare at them or fall asleep. You can do that at your house. Damn. We be wanting to walk around naked and shit, and can't cause now we got a new popper upper who warns 45 min - 1hr in advance.
We not giving our new address out to his friends because they might keep doing the same shit too and I done had it. Why when people get your address they feel obligated to just pop up? Makes me want to just open the door just to slam it back in their face to tell them to fuck off.
And I hate when people ask to hang out same day, and then before we even come over or they come over they just blow our phones up and keep asking us when we linking up just because we said yeah to hanging out.
Whew, I don't care if I don't have friends. Friends are nerve wrecking as fuuuuccckkk! Especially the unemployed ones, whew lord Jesus.
submitted by Acrobatic_Panic_7307 to introvert [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:27 throwmeawai678 How to confront potential cheater

See my previous post for context. Words can't express how thankful I am, a lot of extremely helpful advice and support. As a couple of updates, have a phone with a VAR running in her car and have a GPS. She said she might go with a friend this afternoon so hopefully can get something concrete.
I have contacted a PI and found 200 in cash in her wallet (very unusual for her). She also appears to be quite coy with her phone, will turn it away subtly if I get close to her when texting etc. It all appears to point towards infidelity so a confrontation is only a matter of time.
I'm not confident I will be able to get anything solid, will wait for now but want to prepare for the inevitable confrontation.
My question is, supposing I do or do not get something concrete, how best to approach it. I have my doubts she'll slip up in the short term, and have no desire to drag this out. If I don't get anything solid by Wednesday I'll think about confronting her.
I will ask to see bank statements and her phone to see if she can justify whatever excuse she will have. Should I begin by asking her about the infidelity straight up? Should I ask her where she was on wed/thurs? Any tips you can give on how you would handle it?
I have several options to go nuclear depending on her answers. We have a shared friend group and the previously mentioned cheater's fiance would find out about everything if it came to it.Financially a bit worried about the mortgage and loan, but we also owe her parents some money as a counter to that. Not 100% set on breaking up but if it turns out be true, at 99%, and if not we will have to see if she's willing to put up with having nearly 0 privacy from me in the short term.
submitted by throwmeawai678 to Infidelity [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:25 Brit_in_Lux Good fashion stylists for men?

I’ve decided that my wardrobe has become quite boring. I always cycle through the same three outfits all the time and it’s mostly always the same colours, a combination of navy blue, brown, and white. I’m nearing 27 but look like a teenager due to my baby face and inability to grow a beard (rip my dating life) so I generally pay attention to my clothes, mainly getting clothes which make me appear older and more professional.
Thing is, I am horrible when it comes to fashion and thus looking for someone who has professional experience with this kind of thing. Are there any in Leeds?
submitted by Brit_in_Lux to Leeds [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:24 ConsequenceApart4391 Can you use deliveroo or any other delivery apps at 15/16?

No age restricted items would be bought just a mc Donald’s. If it must be 18 would it be fine to lie about age by 2 years? Lots of 15/16 year olds near me order food off of these apps all the time.
submitted by ConsequenceApart4391 to AskUK [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:23 Valuable-Comb-4914 AITB for feeling alienated for my political stance?

Friend group of 8 writers, mostly queer-adjacent women, just like myself (Dana, 33F). The "organizemom friend", Elsa (45), told me that I shouldn't attend our weekly meeting this weekend because she and another two members needed "emotional recovery due to recent events" and my presence would probably hinder that. I'm the only one in the group who is pro-2A and can be kinda pushy about it. I'm also a recent immigrant who grew up without it and is honestly grateful that I finally got my CCW now. (Like, I damn near cried at the counter, I only kept it together because showing emotions would be an obvious red flag and I did not want anyone think I might be mentally compromised.) I snapped back at her with the usual lines ("every time something goes down, you try to vilify the entire community", etc.), but then a few minutes later I realized that I was being too harsh - after all, she didn't want to boot me out, just told me to tone it down a little. We had an adult discussion after this and finally agreed to disagree.
However, I still feel alienated because this happens all the time. People even have assumed that I'm some sort of Christian loon (while being a lesbian atheist... for crying out loud). Granted, those cases weren't close friends, just random acquaintances, but at this point I'm a bit sensitized to this kind of treatment. There's a queer bar night close to where I work, I used to go there until some guy started talking about the issue - I was quiet until he said something that was factually wrong (that I had experience with), at which point I rolled my eyes and corrected him. At this point 5-6 people basically shouted me down, and I just went home because it was just so awkward.
I'm on the lookout for 2A-friendly friends I don't have to run these loops with, not sure if I'm in the right area for this, but I'll ask my instructor, she probably knows. Should I have stayed quiet about this part of my identity? These interactions really left a bitter taste in my mouth.
submitted by Valuable-Comb-4914 to AmItheButtface [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:21 enthusiastichorse I feel like a failed vet tech and need help in anyway

I’m currently working at a chain vet clinic after taking a break from vet tech for nearly 2 years. I really need some honest advice and maybe some kind words. I’m really struggling with my self worth and even crying just typing this.
Background: in 2017 I graduated college With a bs in animal science (the original plan was to go to vet school but it fell through, wasn’t ready for it) and ended up scrambling to find some profession to work in(started working as a waitress right after graduation) Started with lab tech but got rejected. After that I decided to work as a va/kennel tech for a summer (2018)and enjoyed it and went back to school for vt. I went back to the same college so all my credits were there and I only had to go for a year since there was a lot of overlap. School was easy, got great grades and really enjoyed learning but I have social anxiety and learning how to work under pressure with others was a bit of a challenge especially when I did my externship. Started my externship in an er that was ten hours away from home. I got very homesick, made a mistake that costed the hospital a lot of money and I wanted to quite and leave. I did but my head teacher at my school wanted to give me a second chance at another clinic and it went well(closer to home and was a small practice). After my externship/graduation (2019)I passed the VTNE and got my license in 2020 and started working at a larger clinic. Then the pandemic hit. It was a lot of chaos but I had great doctors to work with and they helped me a lot. Stayed at this clinic for about 10 months but I left. The stress of Covid and the clinic really got to me(was also dealing with a lot of family issues too). I regret doing that everyday since it was such a great place. Tried working at other clinics and doing interviews for half of 2021 but I just didn’t feel like I had a place at any of these clinics/they weren’t a great fit. So I left the field for the other half of 2021 and most of 2022 and thought I would never go back but decided I wanted to try again in late 2022.
Ok now here is my current situation: I started working at a chain clinic in late 2022 and it sounded like a great place to work at the time: great pay and benefits and they are very flexible with schedule and gave me a sign on bonus. I did explain to them that I have been out of the field for quite some time and that I was looking for a clinic that was willing to teach me and the pm said that was no problem.Starting out things were going well but I started to have communication issues with other va’s. I’m afraid to speak up/express my opinion in fear of being yelled at. I wanted to ask a lot of questions to doctors and va’s but it’s very hit or miss. Sometimes I would get answers like ‘you are a lvt you should know this’ and other times I would get positive answers (these were usually from doctors, except there is one doctor that tells me the previous answer constantly) I can’t keep up with the software Because I was never trained how to use it and everyone gets upset with me when I can’t get things done fast enough in it. It’s hard to keep up with the fast pace and we are very understaffed. They want me to do surgery training but I keep getting pulled from it to help with rooms because we have people constantly calling out. I feel like I’m not a very good tech since I can’t keep up. I walked in on a conversation a Dr and a va was having saying i ‘need to learn how to do my job’.I went to my manager about this, she said she would take care of it but mother changed. I cry every night thinking about all the mistakes I have done and all the ones that could happen.I can’t leave before me start date either bc if I do I have to pay back my bonus and I don’t have the funds to do so. I don’t have any good references to got to another clinic if I decide to leave after being here for a year so I’m not sure if any clinic would ever want me. I love working with animals but I feel like I am losing it.
This was a long post so I appreciate anyone who took the time to read my story.
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2023.04.02 13:19 HannoPicardVI In an alternate reality Britain, the prospective owner of a "high-end" strip club clashes with the head of a church established in 1906 who attempts to stop the conversion of the building into a strip club, arguing that it would be antithetical to the religious environment in the neighbourhood.

Darius May was the owner of the large new "mixed-used" commercial building next door. Rumours had already begun swirling in local media that May, 36, planned to convert the disused building into a sex shop. The rumours were only half true. May not okay planned to open a sex shop, but also planned to open a "high-end" strip club in the same building and he had wasted no time submitting his application to planning authorities.
So, when local vicar Jeremy C. Johnson had received information from local authorities informing him of May's intentions and asking him, much like with every other local, whether he had any objections to the application, he was horrified. As the owner of St. Augustine The Holy Trinity Church - a large and imposing church originally built in 1906 - he was not ready to accept the establishing of a strip club immediately next door to his church. Although his congregation was now a small one - there were now 306 registered regular service attendees and a weekly average of 31 visitors and newcomers - he still felt that the religious community in the neighbourhood was a large one and attendance during holiday and special occasions such as Christmas, Easter and weddings and funerals, regularly saw attendees from the local area rise, albeit temporarily.
Johnson did not know this May too well, but he did hear that May appeared to own two other dex shops, one somewhere in the Midlands and another up in Chester, in Cheshire.
Johnson could not accept having a strip club opened right next to his church, so he objected to the planning application. Over the years, however, the demographics of the local area had been slowly changing as a new influx of "young economic and climate migrants" from Scandinavia, the Baltics and Eastern Europe had begun flooding in, slowly changing the face of the area as more and more of the elderly and retired in the community had begun to die. For some reason, this meant that there weren't as many objections as Johnson expected or would have liked. As such, authorities required a certain number of objections in order to require the application to be re-submitted, otherwise the application would eventually be accepted.
Panicking, Johnson visited several established locals in order to drum up support for resistance against the opening of the strip club. He also implored members of his congregation to write "strongly-worded" letters to their councillors and the local Member of Parliament to argue that businesses such as a sex club and a strip club did not "fit the character of the neighbourhood" and "had no place in the local area".
Johnson was well known for being a fiery pillar of the community in situations such as these. Back in 2009, Johnson had strongly resisted the opening of two 7/11 supermarkets directly besides his church. Following strong opposition - led by Johnson himself - applications to build a small Sainsbury's Local and a tiny ASDA had been rejected. If the applications had been accepted, it would have seen the church "surrounded" by new 7/11s. Luckily, to this day, St. Augustine The Holy Trinity Church still retained its character and still preserved its large square and space, helped not only by regular offerings from congregants but also funded from the very pockets of Johnson himself, who had reinvested some church funds in Manhattan Central Bank, an investment corporation based over in Atlantic City in New Jersey.
This time, however, was a little different. Nearly a decade and half had passed and the makeup of the local community was slightly different. A local primary school in the area had been shut down and relocated, thereby bolstering the strength of May's application; the age demographics had also sharply changed, with more younger childless couples from abroad moving in. An underground nightclub had also opened a couple of streets away and because it was a little far away, Johnson had not had any immediate objections to its opening, especially as it only planned to operate on Thursday and Friday nights "to cater to the rising student population". Perhaps, in hindsight, he should have voiced more opposition to the nightclub. Now, May had arrived and he had informed planning authorities that the opening of his sex shop and "high-end" strip club would "bring economic opportunities" to the local area and "create 14 new jobs" (2 more than both supermarkets in total had planned to create). May had also insisted that it would "attract more tourism and business investors" and "lead to a domino effect which would lead to more wealth being created in the local community".
When May had begun to hear of Johnson's rather vocal opposition to his business plans, he was at first intrigued by "this old man's" resistance to new ideas and "new energy being breathed into the area". And so, May had gone to visit Johnson one afternoon. Unbeknownst to May, Wednesday afternoons were usually reserved for a special "Feeding the homeless" event, where the homeless and poor would be invited to St. Augustine The Holy Trinity Church to visit the food bank and "also listen to a short sermon" and "receive a blessing from the vicar himself".
So, when May had turned up, dressed in a laid-back white silk shirt and some expensive jeans and leather trainers, Johnson had not immediately recognized him, but remarked how he clearly looked out of place amongst the homeless. The pair had then begun arguing, as two food bank volunteers tried to distract the attendees from the raised voices. Suffice to say, the pair did not get on at all and Johnson accused May of "trying to invade the area with immorality and sexual promiscuity".
"You may say otherwise, but everybody knows strip clubs are a clear gateway to drug use, prostitution, sexual promiscuity and even child pornogrpahy and child abuse," Johnson had shouted at him in anger.
May, unable to keep his cool and surprised at the vicar's unusual fiery nature, had retorted in anger, "oh please, The Church isn't exactly known for being completely innocent itself. It's full of the very things it claims to hate an preach against. Your hypocrisy is astounding. Your area is dying and it's people like me - entrepreneurs and investors - seeking new business opportunities, who revive it with new ventures. The government has no issue with me, it's just sad old people like you!"
The pair had then parted on bad terms, much to the shocked reactions of the homeless attendees still continuing to stream into the food bank.
Johnson had continued drumming up support for his opposition to the sex shop and strip club plans, but the modern era had got the better of him. A few new councillors had replaced his religious-leaning contacts over the years and opinions had varied wildly over the "dangers of sex shops and strip clubs". He was also unable to gain enough support from fellow religious leaders - local imams from a local mosque nearby - after a number of local Islamic leaders still held grudges against him over his handling of reglious tensions back in 2010 and 2011.
In the end, Johnson failed to garner enough objections to the application and grasping at straws, he had started a petition to reject the application, but, to his shock, it had failed to get enough signatures, with many informing him that they "did not want to get involved" in his "Holy War against the World". His final option? A court case. Reviewing his finances, he confirmed that he could afford to bring a private court case without unduly stressing church funds. Speaking to his legal contacts (two Bar contacts and another two at respectable City law firms), he planned to argue that the opening of the sex shop and strip club would "alter the character of the local area in an extreme fashion" and "were antithetical to the history and environment of the local area". He also planned to accuse Darius May of "intimidating" members of the local community, pointing to the unexpected decrease in support for his opposition to the planning application.
An initial injunction was initially granted on behalf of Vicar Jeremy C. Johnson to halt the conversion of the disused building to a sex shop and "high-end" strip club. This was only a temporary victory for Johnson, who had been instructed to gather further evidence of May's "tactics to intimate people in the local area", as well as "strongly demonstrate how the new business would alter the character of the local area in an extreme fashion".
Yet, a short while later, as if like something out of a supernatural horror movie, Vicar Johnson's black Renault had veered sharply off the A40 whilst he was returning from a weekend Church outing in Wotton-under-Edge. According to crash investigators, a "stray white dog or something" had run out into traffic and had caused "the terrible accident". Vicar Johnson's vehicle had veered sharply off the highway and his car had flipped over and smashed into a tree. He had found himself crushed under the weight of his car and the collapsed tree and to make matters worse, a truck had then slammed into the wreck, killing him instantly. Vicar Johnson died on that warm Saturday night. Witnesses had indeed stated that they had spotted "what appeared to be stray white dog or animal" stepping out onto the highway, but no cameras had spotted anything and no trace of the creature had been found had been found on Vicar Johnson's vehicle. The death was ruled an accident and Johnson's congregation mourned his death.
An associate vicar - a young Harry Milner - then assumed control of St. Augustine The Holy Trinity Church as per Vicar Johnson's will and testament; however, following troubling economic difficulties which hit Manhattan Central Bank across the Atlantic, Johnson's investment portfolio sharply decreased in value and Milner was forced to take out loans in order to keep Church finances afloat. In the end, Milner's poor handling of Church finances proved to be St. Augustine the Holy Trinity Church's downfall and final nail in the coffin and a few months later, he was charged with a series of crimes, including wire fraud and embezzlement. Indigo Mountain Finance then applied to a court to repossess the church's buildings and square and the church now sits empty and unused until Indigo Mountain Finance can find a buyer in foreclosure.
As for Darius May and his Lucky Star sex shop and strip club, it opened a short while after Johnson's death, with Milner unable to continue pursuing a legal challenge against him and with the main opposer - Johnson - now dead. May did, however, attend Johnson's funeral and expressed to funeralgoers how "genuinely shocked" he was at the death of "a Holy man I had only just encountered a month ago".
Years later, the church was demolished and a large Tesco supermarket took its place, along with two large apartment complexes which were built where the church square used to be. Some elderly locals who are still alive and still live in the area til this day sometimes mention how they "miss the large and open square that St Augustine had preserved".
submitted by HannoPicardVI to stories [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:19 aighttimetodie Confession: I enjoy playing sombra to mess with people whenever I’m mad

I don’t actually main her. I always have some pent up rage from being mistreated at work and at school. I Don’t wanna sound like a toxic player, but sometimes when I have a bad day, I would open overwatch, go to quick play, and if I see that the enemy has a character I dislike(especially widow), I’ll pick sombra then spawn camp them until they switch.
I hate that it kinda makes me feel better to mess with people in a harmless way via video games the same way people mess with me irl (being picked on).
I don’t camp supports because that’s kind of mean even for my standards, and it will ruin the entire game for their team… unless they have a really annoying aas dps support that keeps flanking on our back lines. I’m sure their team would also hate them since they don’t heal.
OK it’s also fun to stay invisible with our support to kill flankers, most of them were super shocked when I hack them. OR when we have a widow, and the enemy switches to sombra, I’d just stay invisible near the widow to wait for the enemy sombra to show up.
submitted by aighttimetodie to SombraMains [link] [comments]

2023.04.02 13:18 One_Presentation7288 HIV scare

Hey everyone,
I made a throwaway account for this.
I can't sleep and i'm stressing like crazy!.
I live in an European country (West-Europe). I had sex with a trans (woman with a penis).
I used a condom when penetrating her. We gave each other oral sex without condom.
Here is where things start to get iffy.
When she came, accidentally some semen came in my eye. I panicked because i try to do everything safe. Got dressed and drove home.
(I was already very nervous as this was my first experience with a trans).
When i got home 20 min later i rinsed my eye with water and the redness went away a while later.
Now, about two weeks later. My left eye hurts a bit and is slightly swollen near the gland that produces tears. Very slightly swollen that you hardly see it.
I am scared shitless.
I asked her if she knows her status both HIV and STD. She told me she is a prostitute but she does everything safe because otherwise she would lose customers. She got a bit annoyed because i asked her the question and refused to proceed in the conversation.
My questions are:
What is the risk of a HIV transmission through the eye?
When can i get tested accurately?
When reading online there are different guidelines. Some say HIV infection from semen through the eye is non existent. Other websites say test immediately.
Then some websites say to test after 2 weeks, some say 4 or 6 weeks, other says 3 months.
I feel so fucking stupid for getting carried away in the moment with a fantasy i had.
I need some advice.
submitted by One_Presentation7288 to HIV [link] [comments]