Where is xur

Ummm so I can't sleep just want some other night owl to pass time with haha (m22)
I'm from texas and honestly I'd like to think of myself as a very chill person who is goofy but yet can be serious in certain situations where it calls for it. I am going to school for radiology but am taking my basics as of now, I am also a gamer and play on xbox, hmmm... and also love star wars, anime and just shows and movies in general. So if any of that sounds interesting to you hmu before I fall asleep lmao all I ask is that you please be 18 and up.

This is my first post on Reddit so forgive me if I don’t word this normally. A little context: We both go to the same high school (juniors) and have been friends for over two years. Over the time we’ve gotten to be friends, we’ve become really close. We FaceTime each other every night for hours on end, I’ve told her things no one else knows, and vise versa. We’ve even tried being more than friends a few times now, but those little “situationships” haven’t lasted longer than a month, and we haven’t done anything further than cuddle.
She (we’ll call her Alex) is a very attractive woman and has never liked someone who didn’t reciprocate feelings. Me, on the other hand, hasn’t ever been in a relationship and isn’t really considered as a “catch.” But somehow, she caught feelings for me back, and recently, we even said we’re in love with each other.
But we’re still just friends. I want a relationship really badly, and we’ve talked about it, but she has a lot of family problems (legitimately; an example is a bipolar, abusive brother, alcoholic and abusive mother, which doesn’t even scratch the surface) and trust issues that stem from her parents divorce. She doesn’t believe in people unconditionally loving her because she’s never seen it at home. She’s told me she’s very scared to officially get into a relationship with me because she’s afraid of losing me forever.
That’s all valid, but here’s where things get complicated. I asked her to prom a few months ago, but she said no politely for the reasons I mentioned above and went with someone else (let’s call him george). We have very open communication, and she’s told me that she has a crush on George. It wasn’t to make me feel jealous or with any evil intentions, but she’s said that there is a chance they end up dating. She’s told me that I’m still the boy she’s in love with, which makes me really confused. Like why would she be interested in someone else if she’s in love with me? The funny thing is, it was this same night that we agreed that we’d date eventually and even made timelines of our future. The thing is, I would wait for her as long as I have to, but if there’s another person in the story, I don’t think I could handle that.
I’ve told her that if she ends up dating George that we would probably not be friends. I didn’t say this as a threat, but simply that it would hurt me too much if she got with another person. She told me it’s a hypothetical and not to worry about it, but it’s all I can think about. Now, even in the timeline that they do date, there’s still a chance that we end up together afterwards. But at that point, I’d be very hurt and feel like a consolation prize.
I know we’re just in high school. I understand we’re young. But I genuinely love this girl. She’s always been there for me at my worst as have I for her. She makes me happier than I have ever been, and I honestly think I want to marry her one day. Again, this feeling has lasted years now. This overthinking has impacted my grades. I want her and only her, and for the longest time, I thought the feeling was reciprocated, but her home life was too big of an obstacle for her. However, ever since George, I can’t tell if she’s just playing me or if she truly still loves me. I’m just so confused and don’t know what to do.
Too long; didn’t read summary:
We’ve been in love for two years, but she can’t commit to a relationship due to home life family problems and trust issues with love. Now, I’m worried there’s another guy in the picture, and don’t know what to do.

For context, I am not from the states, so I don't know how adoption works for queer couples, if it does at all. And I can understand that in a wlw situation especially when both partners could potentially carry they'd want to do it.
But I'm a bit taken aback that adoption is not even part of the conversation for a lot of couples. Considering how expensive IVF and fertility treatments are, and the looming biological clock a lot of people on this season are worried about, how is not even one person thinking about adoption as a real option?
I'm from a country where adopted kids are seen as a sort of consolation prize (of course I disagree with this perspective vehemently). The obsession with bloodline and your kids being your own flesh and blood is very strong, to the point where people constantly enter crushing debt just to go through fertility treatments. There's a fertility clinic around every corner in a country where 90% of people don't have the amount of disposable income or savings to pursue it.
Personally, if I chose to have kids, I would choose to adopt (I'm a queer woman in a hetro-presenting relationship so bio kids are a possibility for me). It's just startling that it's not even an option a lot of these couples want to pursue.
Adoption also has the added advantage of not being tied to a biological clock, which is personally the biggest reason why I would consider it. I wouldn't have to rush a relationship or have kids before I'm ready because adoption is an option.
Is adoption for queer couples that bad in the US? I know it varies from state to state, but coming from someone in a country where queer people are legally barred from both adoption and fertility treatments, it's a bit icky to me.

It all just feels so tiresome. I don't know that I feel anything anymore. I can't go outside anymore because I can feel other people's eyes on me. I don't have friends anymore. I don't know where I am, and I don't know where I'm going. I feel like I've been drifting through life for years now trying to find anything at all that can make me feel something, but no matter what I do, I can't seem to find it.
I'm tired of being around other people. The way they talk irritates me. I feel like the things they say are all so formulaic. It's all so pre-planned and artificial. It feels like I'm talking to someone in a Halloween mask, but it would be rude to say that I can tell that's not who they truly are. Perhaps I'm just terrified that that's who they really are. The way they were programmed. Wear the same clothes as everyone else. Eat the same food as everyone else. Believe the same things as everyone else. Think the same things as everyone else. It all just feels so gray. So lifeless. So soulless.
I see no future ahead. It's all just a continuation of "trying to get by" until I keel over and die. Nothing brings me any form of joy or fulfillment. I've never had an intimate connection with someone before and I doubt I ever will. I see no career plans, or relationships, or "fulfilling life goals" ahead, and I'm terrified.
I see no life worth living in this artificial, empty existence. This world is not built for humans, it has been built for machines. Mindless, unthinking machines that don't ask questions, don't have goals, and don't have a future. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Die.
I can feel a part of myself dying. I'm just so tired of all of this. I do wish I could be feel like all these other people seem to do, but I just can't. I could talk all day about my problems, but no one will listen. I could try to get better all day, but no one will see it. I could try, but it won't matter.
I do want to be happy, I promise.
I've tried to find some form of fulfillment from work, or contentment from the love of another person, but I've never found it.
I'm just so tired from all of it. I don't know how much longer I can keep going.

Hi everyone! I'm building a Sunn 200s clone and the OP says that i need to bias both jfets to around 4.5v. I'm a bit of a noob but I don't know exactly what he is saying. It's not that I don't know what biasing is but I don't know where I should measure this bias. Is it from the source to the gate? the gate to the drain? the gate to ground?
Here's the link: https://effectslayouts.blogspot.com/2018/09/sunn-200s-preamp.html?m=1
The circuit uses 2 2n5457 and i can bias them using a 100k trimpot

I’m not talking about every single person, some want discussions but there is some that just want to say “I BOUGHT A LIE AND MY A LIE IS SO MUCH BETTER LOL LOSERS” where’s the mods to ban those people? There’s people that just want to make fuzz and debates without any need, I would probably be banned from r Xbox if I go there and start to talk shit about their console and talk up about mine just to brag, there’s some posts that still got like 200 upvotes for the hater per say, ridiculous, don’t give them the taste in my opinion.

Hi,
I´m looking to rent a fully furnished apartment in the Marina area from October till January this year.
Do you know where it´s possible to rent for short-term rental (excluding Airbnb). Is it possible to rent something through Bayut or is it all long-term rental there?
Thank you

Age 26
Sex f
Height 5’10
Weight 161
Race
Duration of complaint
Location n/a
Any existing relevant medical issues asthma
Current medications advair, montelukast, albuterol inhaler
Include a photo if relevant
So I’ve been having trouble breathing since the 19th/20th of May. I thought it was just a regular asthma spell bc I do smoke often and the air quality where I live isn’t that awesome. So I thought if I cut back on smoking and started taking my singular allergy medicine again it would leave. It didn’t. Even my inhaler has not helped. Nor has the, advair disk or the mullien tea I’ve been having. It feels like a chest rattling. It comes and goes and it’s not a regular asthma wheeze. My chest is tight most times. It’s really scary and I’ve been to the ER thinking it was pneumonia but they said my lungs are just fine. And heard no wheezing when they checked. Also gets worse at night. I’m losing my breath when I do small things and it’s just not my normal asthma symptoms. It’s more so when I breathe in I notice it, like breathing through a mesh cloth or something. Going back to the doctor on the 5th. Is there anything I should have them check specifically? Or just any words of encouragement would really help, I’m scared, thanks.

There is a glitch in Lost in the Gloam quest in clockwork city where when I kill the wraith of crows it still says I need to kill it.

First of all, I love adopt me. It's one of my favourite Roblox games and I've spent a ton of time and money on it. But when I join a server, my desire to play just disappears. The chat is full of spammers (which I'm alright with if they are trading something and trying to get good offers) saying "pls pet pls pet pls pet pls pet pls pet", "trading kitsune for owl", "ABC to pick a dootrust trade no scam!!!1!!" and "give me your pets I will hack you". Hell, yesterday I went into the center of the map where everyone is trading and I see some random girl on a robo dog saying "ugh this server is so poor- 🙄" like girl wtf? I guess you can mean that it's not one of the richer servers like roplex etc, but you can just server hop and you avoid being so sassy and looking stupid and you don't waste your time on typing it. Obviously I was not very affected by it, I just pulled out one of the pets I wanted to trade and ignored her. I could have started beef with her but I think I'm already past that phase where you wanna argue with everyone. Anyway, in the same exact server, a girl with a Nessie was having a conversation with a beggar. She basically said that she doesn't give pets and that "we new players are annoying". Keep in mind that her name was pls free pet. I'm tired of everyone being so entitled and having this complex of superiority, it's tiring trying to enjoy a game with this community. Anyway that's my rant, nothing serious, and I know they're just kids but it kinda ruins the game. Thanks for reading, if you have anything to add I can edit this

Hi so I live with my mom (the house is technically mine) I’m a 21F I last year stopped following a strict religion. My mom told me she never wants to see me bring pork in the house again as long as she lives since I had bought something for myself. I feel trapped within my own house. Only reason we even have this house is me but I have to live by her expectations. When me meet relatives I have to dress how she wants me to if I can’t I can’t go but she also needs me to drive her there because it’s far. It’s uncomfortable for me for her to just constantly tell me if you do this I’ll never forgive you if you do that etc… she even said she will never forgive me if I have sex outside of marriage and I’ve never even had a boyfriend. She says even if she’s dead I should know she’s up there looking at me. I don’t believe in all this stuff she follows no I’m not gonna get wasted and become a drug addict. I just want to stop feeling controlled.
When I mention marriage she immediately says “what about me?” “Where are you gonna put me” and I’m just mentioning it just to fantasize but she’s stated she’ll never be able to live with me and a man bc it’ll make her nervous since her own marriage was horrible and abusive.
Also we had an argument and basically I said “THIS IS MY HOUSE” because I want more control and responsibility of the house I worked for and she said be careful God is gonna take it away from u if you act like this (hurt your mother) and like she knows how much I worked for this house even if we have an argument why would she go that far to give me a “divine warning”.

Moving through a slog of near constant rejection, am I over blowing this?
Alright, this may be long, proceed at your own risk.
I’m at a pretty sticky and uncomfortable point with my partner of nearly 9 years. I’m going to try to provide as much context as possible, because while this situation is ultimately relatively uneventful, it’s quite rife with emotional mise-en-scene.
My partner and I are queer, I’m trans and she is a cis woman. I am 34 and she’s 33. We had lived together the entire time we’ve known each other, as we met as roommates, and decided to start living apart about 2 years ago. We were moving away from the town we were living in, and she decided to move to the city, while I decided to travel around a bit instead. Unfortunately my vehicle I had planned on living in broke down about 6 months into my travels, so I moved to the same city as her. We had decided that living apart would be a good exercise for us to work on our codependency, especially before potentially venturing into having children together.
Another relevant piece of our history is that we have always maintained a relationship style I would describe as “open” until this point, which she never really acted on and I rarely did. She had a boundary of me dating/sleeping with women, so primarily extra relationship activities were me sleeping with a cis gay men (this happened about once every 2 years lol). I also have some sexual baggage, and my sex drive plummeted early in our relationship. We would have sex maybe once every two months, and I think when this first happened she experienced this as a great deal of rejection. I was quite disconnected from what was happening in my mind so couldn’t really explain why, but I felt really bad about it. Usually we would end up having sex after a long hard conversation about how hurtful my lack of sex drive was. I was also very uncomfortable with physical affection at this time, and was very withdrawn and unaffectionate. I know this made her feel terrible, and I am sad that my behaviour made her feel this way. We processed it a lot at the time, and since.
Just before we moved away from our town and to separate spaces, she began a flirtatious relationship with a mutual friend of ours. She doesn’t often express attraction to many people, and I could tell she really liked this friend. There hadn’t really been a situation before that we had encountered that had the potential to generate real big romantic feelings outside of our relationship (I don’t tend to have romantic feelings for men) and this activated a very strong fear of abandonment response in me. I freaked out a bit, felt really scared and worried about the stability of our relationship, and discussed this with her, but did not ask her to end the flirtatious/dating relationship. I wanted to move through the jealousy and fear, as I could tell these were more located in me than anywhere else.
That relationship did not pan out, but her attraction for me/desire to have sex with me effectively disappeared at this point. She’s explained that she feels bad about it, and that it was a drop in her sex drive in general related to a depression, which I can obviously understand, but as of late she is expressing desire for other people/wanting to actively pursue sexual relationships with other people, but still feels no attraction for me. This feels really sad and hard for me, and I’m trying to accept and hold out hope that this can change in the future (as she says she thinks it will) but hearing her be excited about and express desire for other people feels really hard.
It’s been 2 years now since we’ve had sexual intimacy, and while we find other ways to be close, I feel like I’m sort of on an endless endurance run of accepting rejection. It doesn’t help that her withdrawal has activated a very anxious and clinging response in me, which I’ve metered A LOT since my first freak out, but is definitely still there. I want to state too that I have not made any requests for her to not pursue these desires of hers, just that it feels painful for me. I also do experience excitement for her, and feel glad that she’s feeling good enough to think of herself as a sexual being again.
I don’t want to be feeling this way, but I simply am for now. It feels like the only thing that makes it tolerable is being able to share with her that I’m finding it challenging and have her hear that, but it definitely also feels like my being emotional about the situation is contributing to my not-sexiness in her eyes. This confirms a deep belief I have about myself, that my emotions that are ‘bad’ or ‘hard’ make me unlovable and undesirable.
She has expressed to me that she is committed to me, and wants to have a family together, and that she believes she will feel desire for me again but beyond that vague sense is not clear. I do understand not knowing how or when desire will return, but it’s still feeling like a major slog.
I’m at the point where I’m wondering if I should shift my thinking to just enjoying the platonic nature of our relationship and forgoing the possibility of sexual intimacy, but I fear if I do that at one point she may come around and then we begin the rejection/resentment cycle once again. It has also occurred to me recently that she may be unconsciously retaliating against me for the pain I put her through in my disconnected era.
Sex is not a highly vital part of a relationship for me, but I’m learning that no sex at all does really hurt my feelings. I know what it’s like to not feel consistent desire for a partner, and still love and cherish the person, but I never actively desired other people during the times I was more disconnected.
What do we think here? I don’t want to give up but I also don’t want to end up years down the line realizing she will never feel that way for me again, and become resentful for this painful experience. I love her a lot, and have/would endure a lot for this relationship that’s important to me.
I also want to add, obsessing over this has turned me into a joyless SOB and I hate that!!! I used to be fun and I want to be again, but I also want to not just repress my feelings which is my go to.
TDLR; I was distant and disconnected for a long period of my relationship, and now my partner doesn’t want to have sex with me. Should I keep waiting it out and if so, any tips?

Hey Reddit fam,
Not sure if this is the right subreddit, but I really need your help with a mind-boggling situation that's been keeping me up at night. There's this dude, a convicted sexual predator, who's taken social media by storm with his fake persona. He's got a massive following and portrays himself as this incredible author who penned 27 life-changing books and claims to have helped 500 prisoners while behind bars. Can you believe the audacity?
Here's the kicker: this guy is profiting off his fake "success" story and denying any evidence that proves his criminal past. I've seen countless people provide solid proof of his convictions, but he dismisses it all and keeps on with his charade.
I've tried to dig up court records from his time in Florida, where he spent a whopping 12 years in jail. Sadly, I'm outside the US and can't access those juicy details.
If any of you have the scoop on obtaining court documents or know someone who can help, please spill the beans. It's high time we exposed this con artist and shattered his fake image to pieces.
His victim was a minor, DNA evidence was presented at the court and he was found guilty of sexual battery and false imprisonment and he still has the audacity to deny.
His name is Yaser Al Bahri, dept of correction# N20535
Believe it or not he made his own Wikipedia page glorifying himself and portraying himself as the hero here:
https://ar.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D9%8A%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1_%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A8%D8%AD%D8%B1%D9%8A
And has his own Amazon author page where he sells his books and profits off of all of this
https://www.amazon.com/stores/Yaser-Albahri/authoB08294TS4J?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true
Please help

so basically i played dungeon boss respawn and there is hero mission where i need to play in light dungeon. i already play until map chapter 7 and havent found light dungeon so far. so any idea where to find it?

Hi everyone,
Where is the best site to find an accommodation in Clonmel?

I passed the skill test. Checked that the Renton dmv is closed now. Where do I apply to get my license?

"One girl I knew, who was a good person, got lured into SGI, and was really into it. She ended up getting sick, and refused a lot of early medical treatment, as she thought she could get healed by Chanting. Didn't work, she got worse and worse. Then she finally got into medical treatments, too late, and literally had hundreds of people Chanting for her to heal. She died, and left behind her kids. They don't tell those anecdotes, those who have hundreds of SGI followers Chanting for them, and die a pretty horrible death in a few months."
Well that has been the way of things for years! - and when things go wrong and people lose out, lose their lives, livelihoods, homes and even their sanity that ain't going to get reported cos anything that might make it appear that SGI bubble of faith and Daimoku to gain anything, to have any prayer answered, and to have all earthly desires fulfilled... might burst, well that might have people thinking and questioning and leaving in droves. I recall Dick Causton saying that folks should remember that all prayers will be answered and that the answer will sometimes be NO! It's funny how common sense goes out the window when folks are told to chant and seem to end up in the world of rapture and can't see anything other than Fluffy Bunny Buddhism, forgetting that In Rapture the bubble bursts ever so quickly and can drop you on your ass!
I have seen exactly this pattern of denial of ill health and subsequent death with loads of folks chanting for a miracle many times! It's like the SGI Italy members setting up Gohonzons next to TV sets so that they could chant and watch the soccer world cup final in 1994 and chant for Roberto Baggio to score the winning goal for Italy and QED prove that Nichiren Buddhism had some form on Mystical Power over the result. Some may recall that the final went to a penalty shoot out and Italy Lost with Baggio missing his penalty and loosing Italy the world Cup! In Italy I also saw Benefit Junkies organizing Daimoku Tozos to chant to have a miracle when some one was found to be in end stage cancer after they had refused to consult doctors and just sat home chanting. The mass search for Benefits was staggering with literally tens of thousands of folks in concerted tozos all demanding proof from someone who had already set up their own death.... and after they died many being very callous and stating that they died because they lacked faith and in any case all that daimoku was going to be of great benefit and they were just waiting for their personal payout in the shares and from their investment in Daimoku Inc!
It's sad that supposed leaders (in reality folks who have been told that they are "Leaders" with no quality control and then make it up as they go along ) go about telling folks that they just need to chant whilst their leg is half cut off and they are bleeding to death. Some will find such actions and ideas impossible to accept as occurring within SGI but to those who have seen them they are unforgettable. Even leaders have not been immune from such aberrant attitudes and behaviors and as a result have died - with some referring to it as Suicide by Daimoku!
I recall one set of events where some leaders (who I repeatedly referred to as "Persons With A Responsibility - Formally referred to as Leaders") went well beyond the limits and caused havoc for a number of people. A New Member showed Up who was quite a wealthy Business Woman - She had a number of businesses some of which she wanted to sell. This Woman started to hawk these businesses about to SGI members and the local leadership first allowed it and then encouraged it. Certain members who were having major personal problems with everything from marriage to debt were encouraged to buy businesses from her, which some foolishly did. Anyone who spoke out about this was immediately labelled as a breaker of unity and totally against Nichiren and the SGI.
Folks went out and borrowed money, put their houses up as collateral and bought into the Leaders ongoing views that all that had to be done was chant more and more and evidently as this woman was selling businesses to SGI members whilst she herself was becoming a member the whole thing was perfect and universally ordained.
One family asked me for advice about buying a Food Outlet - It appeared to me a gold mine as it was within about 100 metres of a new shopping complex that was under construction. The Only Down side was it was on the wrong side of the road, a very busy road and there were vacant shop units better placed to provide the service on the other side of the road. The family was advised to get a commercial lawyer to draft a full contract including clauses that prevented the woman from starting a similar business within 1000 meters of the original business for 5 years, that full disclosure of accounts were to be made and that specific contracts as to the building, it's contents, and maintenance would also be made as the woman was selling the business but retaining ownership of the building. All of the advice was ignored and they just went ahead and bought the business, lease on the building, and started to sell food as hard as possible. When they were asked why they had not undertaken the most basic of actions and set up the most basic of protections for a commercial venture they explained that when they had raised these issues with leaders they had been told that such actions would simply show that they lacked faith and they were better off chanting and having faith than consulting a lawyer or spending time and money on legally enforceable contracts.
A few weeks after they were tied in with their house on the line the woman opened a new food outlet across the road and the customer numbers dropped to virtually Zero. They objected and were told there was nothing they could do.. and then they went bankrupt and lost the business, their home and just about everything they had. Throughout, the leaders were 100% supporting this woman in disposing of business to SGI members and of the members buying these businesses and yet these leaders had zero knowledge or experience in commercial trading, contracts and business management. When this was raised as an issue that should bar them from being involved in any way with anyone who was entering into a business situation they responded that they did not need anything other than Daimoku and Faith. They were also a little pissed off when they were asked to explain why they had not taken up one of these business opportunities if all that was required was Daimoku and Faith and they were unable to answer.
I also recall working on an exhibition in Italy between SGI and The Italian Committee for Refugees. The Exhibition dealt with Yugoslavia and the breakup and Genocide. I had been asked to design and build the exhibition so that it could tour Italy. The First place on the tour was Venice and the transport co-ordinator could not understand that we were obliged to hire a boat to transport the exhibition from mainland Italy to then venue in the heart of Venice. Their view was that all of the parts of the exhibition, some over two metres long and very heavy would be carried on foot across a causeway and through Venice and this was great opportunity for members to be involved in activities. When it was pointed out that first it was illegal to do this, second dangerous to have literally hundreds of people handling unfamiliar equipment and that it was also highly likely that the exhibition itself would be damaged - well that was met with incredulity at the idea that hundreds of SGI members chanting and holding Tozos for the exhibition would not protect it and even not be needed or welcome. It was odd that they just could not get it that legally it was not possible and that it had to be done in line with the law of the land. Oddly when the leader of this aberration was questioned as to whether they had car insurance or if they just chanted to not need it they were shocked and stated of course I have car insurance - That's the law! It would seem that when folks decide that they are to do something so that they can get their quota of benefits they hate having it pointed out to them that they can't just ignore reality and hope for the best!
That so much odd behavior makes it appear that SGI is a Cult - or at best filled with individuals who seem programmed to exhibit cult Like behavior - one has to wonder why SGI in all it's forms does not advise against such aberration and even protect people from it internally!
For some they will simply invent Nichiren Buddhism in their own image, to service their own needs and to fill massive gaps that exist in their own minds and lives. What I have seen when this occurs is evil. Having reported the situations and what is occurring to national leaders/employees of SGI, I was not too surprised that the aberrations verging on mental instability are supported. Anyone questioning one with the title of leader is seen as evil and shunned! It would seem that SGI is an organization that is programmed to self destruct under the mental aberrations of its employees and top leaders. It would also seem that their dogma will eventually be run over by their karma and one has to wonder how they will react when this happens - will they seek first aid and medical attention or simply lie on their backs and chant as they discorporate." -- Robert

I work with a non-profit organization that repairs old sewing machines to send to third world countries. Many of the sewing machines are missing a double receptacle outlet that provides power to a light and power to the motor (after running it through the foot pedal). Unfortunately the plugs are not made anymore and it would not be economical to buy original plugs from various stores on ebay. I can buy standard wall outlet receptacles from homedepot, but they are far bulkier than the originals. I am now working on designing a 3d printable outlet that uses the contacts from a standard receptacle but it ends up with a lot of wasted plastic since I would only be using the bass contacts. I've looked around and cant find anywhere online that I can buy just the brass contacts. Is there a wholesale website where I can find just the contacts?

I'm Post Orchy. And this operation didn't help me either because I had my T values ​​as well as LH and FSH under control before my operation. I quickly realized that it just doesn't work without a blocker. Tried a lot of blockers. GnrH, CPA, Spiro, Bica. I've tried different dosages. Why?
I find that once you have an extreme orgasm, I've had the most feminization. By extreme orgasms I mean when your whole body is shaking really, really badly. As soon as that was less or not the case at all, my feminization also went back
If I had taken 10 mg Cpa, this effect wasn't that extreme. At 25 mg daily the effect was extreme. But since I don't want to take that much CPA a day, I went from 25 to 10 and finally to 5 mg. 10 and 5 mg no longer had this effect.
It was the most extreme with Bica. Where I was taking 50 mg daily, I had orgasms that lasted 30 seconds and were so extremely intense! Since I didn't want to take so much Bica every day, I went from 50 mg to 25 and 12.5 mg. Then the effect was gone.
My question to you:
Did you also have such experiences ? With the same amount of medication or with less or more?
Can it be that we trans people ALL really ALL AR really have to be eliminated to really have such an effect? because as soon as there is even a bit of activity, everything is lost.