Hi there, Skyrim is CTD when I launch it (following STEP guide). Could someone have a quick look?
Crash logger report below:
Unhandled exception "EXCEPTION_ACCESS_VIOLATION" at 0x7FF6E2D7C3EC SkyrimSE.exe+0DBC3EC mov dword ptr [rax+0x20], 0x01
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SYSTEM SPECS:

OS: Microsoft Windows 10 Pro v10.0.19041 CPU: AuthenticAMD AMD Ryzen 5 3600XT 6-Core Processor GPU #1: Nvidia GA102 \[GeForce RTX 3080 Ti\] GPU #2: Microsoft Basic Render Driver PHYSICAL MEMORY: 8.33 GB/15.93 GB 

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PROBABLE CALL STACK:

\[ 0\] 0x7FF6E2D7C3EC SkyrimSE.exe+0DBC3EC -> 77301+0x6C mov dword ptr \[rax+0x20\], 0x01 \[ 1\] 0x7FF6E340F709 SkyrimSE.exe+144F709 -> 108531+0x49 mov \[rbx+0x48\], rax \[ 2\] 0x7FF6E2C63B2E SkyrimSE.exe+0CA3B2E -> 70716+0x19E mov rax, rbx \[ 3\] 0x7FF6E2D446FE SkyrimSE.exe+0D846FE -> 76018+0xBE mov rcx, \[rdi\] \[ 4\] 0x7FF6E2D43BD7 SkyrimSE.exe+0D83BD7 -> 76013+0x107 xor edi, edi \[ 5\] 0x7FF6E2D43D36 SkyrimSE.exe+0D83D36 -> 76014+0xF6 lea rcx, \[r15+0x438\] \[ 6\] 0x7FF6E2D458D0 SkyrimSE.exe+0D858D0 -> 76043+0x150 mov rcx, \[rdi+0x08\] \[ 7\] 0x7FF6E2D468E0 SkyrimSE.exe+0D868E0 -> 76073+0x30 mov eax, \[rsp+0x30\] \[ 8\] 0x7FF6E2C3DA0F SkyrimSE.exe+0C7DA0F -> 69809+0x4F add r12d, eax \[ 9\] 0x7FF6E2D3681D SkyrimSE.exe+0D7681D -> 75716+0x5D add rbx, 0x08 \[10\] 0x7FF6E2D3312F SkyrimSE.exe+0D7312F -> 75651+0x13F mov \[rbp+0x48\], r12 \[11\] 0x7FF6E2C05E4D SkyrimSE.exe+0C45E4D -> 68445+0x3D mov rcx, \[0x00007FF6E4FC6898\] \[12\] 0x7FFB0CA97614 KERNEL32.DLL+0017614 \[13\] 0x7FFB0DA826A1 ntdll.dll+00526A1 

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REGISTERS:

RAX 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] RCX 0x17A337D9CA0 (char\*) "@" RDX 0x17A2E220000 (void\*) RBX 0x44 (size\_t) \[68\] RSP 0x5064BF950 (void\*) RBP 0x8 (size\_t) \[8\] RSI 0x17A6B1CEC44 (char\*) "dds" RDI 0x17AA821F038 (char\*) "(" R8 0x2B0000 (size\_t) \[2818048\] R9 0x15A000 (size\_t) \[1417216\] R10 0x7FFAE5F60000 (void\*) R11 0x5064BF870 (void\*) R12 0x7FF6E507BA58 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+30BBA58 add eax, \[rax\]) R13 0x5064BFCC0 (void\*) R14 0x7FF6E3E59880 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+1E99880 ) R15 0x5064BFB90 (void\*) 

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STACK:

\[RSP+0 \] 0x17A00000001 (void\*) \[RSP+8 \] 0x8 (size\_t) \[8\] \[RSP+10 \] 0x17A6B1CEC44 (char\*) "dds" \[RSP+18 \] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+20 \] 0x500000000 (size\_t) \[21474836480\] \[RSP+28 \] 0x17A00000000 (void\*) \[RSP+30 \] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+38 \] 0x7FF600000044 (size\_t) \[140694538682436\] \[RSP+40 \] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+48 \] 0x17ABA6D5940 (void\*) \[RSP+50 \] 0x5064BFCC0 (void\*) \[RSP+58 \] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+60 \] 0x17A6B1CEC47 (void\*) \[RSP+68 \] 0x5064BFA58 (BSResourceNiBinaryStream\*) \[RSP+70 \] 0x1 (size\_t) \[1\] \[RSP+78 \] 0x7FF6E2C71435 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0CB1435 lea rax, \[0x00007FF6E2C718D0\]) \[RSP+80 \] 0xFFFFFFFF0000000A (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744069414584330 int: -4294967286\] \[RSP+88 \] 0x7FF6E21160EE (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+01560EE mov ebp, eax) \[RSP+90 \] 0x155604 (size\_t) \[1398276\] \[RSP+98 \] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+A0 \] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+A8 \] 0x500000057 (size\_t) \[21474836567\] \[RSP+B0 \] 0x5064BFB90 (void\*) \[RSP+B8 \] 0x7FF6E3E59880 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+1E99880 ) \[RSP+C0 \] 0x7FF6E507BA58 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+30BBA58 add eax, \[rax\]) \[RSP+C8 \] 0x17A6B1CEC47 (void\*) \[RSP+D0 \] 0x17A6B1CEC47 (void\*) \[RSP+D8 \] 0x7FF6E340F709 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+144F709 mov \[rbx+0x48\], rax) \[RSP+E0 \] 0x17ABA6D5900 (NiSourceTexture\*) Name: "data\\TEXTURES\\clothes\\bandit\\banditbootsm\_n.dds" RTTIName: "NiSourceTexture" \[RSP+E8 \] 0x17ABA6D5900 (NiSourceTexture\*) Name: "data\\TEXTURES\\clothes\\bandit\\banditbootsm\_n.dds" RTTIName: "NiSourceTexture" \[RSP+F0 \] 0x8 (size\_t) \[8\] \[RSP+F8 \] 0x17A00000044 (void\*) \[RSP+100\] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+108\] 0x7FF6E381A910 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+185A910 ) \[RSP+110\] 0x500155604 (size\_t) \[21476234756\] \[RSP+118\] 0x7FF6E2C718D0 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0CB18D0 push rbx) \[RSP+120\] 0x7FF6E2C71940 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0CB1940 push rbx) \[RSP+128\] 0x17A6B1C7FD0 (BSResource::\`anonymous namespace'::LooseFileStream\*) \[RSP+130\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+138\] 0x155604 (size\_t) \[1398276\] \[RSP+140\] 0x17ABA6D5900 (NiSourceTexture\*) Name: "data\\TEXTURES\\clothes\\bandit\\banditbootsm\_n.dds" RTTIName: "NiSourceTexture" \[RSP+148\] 0x7FF6E2C63B2E (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0CA3B2E mov rax, rbx) \[RSP+150\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+158\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+160\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+168\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+170\] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+178\] 0x7FF6E506C290 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+30AC290 add \[rax\], al) \[RSP+180\] 0x5064BFB90 (void\*) \[RSP+188\] 0x17AA821F2B0 (void\*) \[RSP+190\] 0x17B08D4E6A8 (void\*) \[RSP+198\] 0x7FF6E2D446FE (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0D846FE mov rcx, \[rdi\]) \[RSP+1A0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+1A8\] 0x17A6B1CEC18 (char\*) "data\\TEXTURES\\clothes\\bandit\\banditbootsm\_n.dds" \[RSP+1B0\] 0x3 (size\_t) \[3\] \[RSP+1B8\] 0x17AA821F038 (char\*) "(" \[RSP+1C0\] 0x7FF6E5078700 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+30B8700 add \[rax\], al) \[RSP+1C8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+1D0\] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+1D8\] 0x40000000 (size\_t) \[1073741824\] \[RSP+1E0\] 0x7FF6E50787B0 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+30B87B0 add \[rax\], al) \[RSP+1E8\] 0x7FF6E507BA58 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+30BBA58 add eax, \[rax\]) \[RSP+1F0\] 0x40000000 (size\_t) \[1073741824\] \[RSP+1F8\] 0x1 (size\_t) \[1\] \[RSP+200\] 0x17A6B1CEC18 (char\*) "data\\TEXTURES\\clothes\\bandit\\banditbootsm\_n.dds" \[RSP+208\] 0x7FF6E2D43BD7 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0D83BD7 xor edi, edi) \[RSP+210\] 0x17A6B1C7FD0 (BSResource::\`anonymous namespace'::LooseFileStream\*) \[RSP+218\] 0x2 (size\_t) \[2\] \[RSP+220\] 0x48 (size\_t) \[72\] \[RSP+228\] 0x17B08D4E680 (void\*) \[RSP+230\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+238\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+240\] 0x17A6B1C7FD0 (BSResource::\`anonymous namespace'::LooseFileStream\*) \[RSP+248\] 0x17A6B1C7FD0 (BSResource::\`anonymous namespace'::LooseFileStream\*) \[RSP+250\] 0x17A6B1CEC18 (char\*) "data\\TEXTURES\\clothes\\bandit\\banditbootsm\_n.dds" \[RSP+258\] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+260\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+268\] 0x7FF6E2D43D36 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0D83D36 lea rcx, \[r15+0x438\]) \[RSP+270\] 0x20000002 (size\_t) \[536870914\] \[RSP+278\] 0xA0000002 (size\_t) \[2684354562\] \[RSP+280\] 0x17B08D4E680 (void\*) \[RSP+288\] 0x7FF6E507BA58 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+30BBA58 add eax, \[rax\]) \[RSP+290\] 0x520000000 (size\_t) \[22011707392\] \[RSP+298\] 0x17B08D4CD48 (void\*) \[RSP+2A0\] 0x7FF6E50786E0 (BSResource::EntryDB\*) \[RSP+2A8\] 0x17B08D4CD48 (void\*) \[RSP+2B0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+2B8\] 0x7FF6E2D458D0 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0D858D0 mov rcx, \[rdi+0x08\]) \[RSP+2C0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+2C8\] 0x5064BFC90 (void\*) \[RSP+2D0\] 0x3 (size\_t) \[3\] \[RSP+2D8\] 0x17B08D4E6B0 (void\*) \[RSP+2E0\] 0x7FF6E50786E0 (BSResource::EntryDB\*) \[RSP+2E8\] 0x5064BFD68 (\`IOManager::DoOnPreRunTask'::\`2'::Pauser\*) \[RSP+2F0\] 0x12A (size\_t) \[298\] \[RSP+2F8\] 0x7FF6E5078728 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+30B8728 and \[rdi+0x7FF6E507\], al) \[RSP+300\] 0x7FF6E5078738 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+30B8738 add \[rax\], al) \[RSP+308\] 0x3 (size\_t) \[3\] \[RSP+310\] 0x17B08CA7278 (BSTextureDB::QueuedHandles\*) \[RSP+318\] 0x7FF6E2D468E0 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0D868E0 mov eax, \[rsp+0x30\]) \[RSP+320\] 0x17B08D4CD30 (void\*) \[RSP+328\] 0x5064BFC90 (void\*) \[RSP+330\] 0x3 (size\_t) \[3\] \[RSP+338\] 0x7FFB0B64FEAD (void\* -> KERNELBASE.dll+005FEAD nop \[rax+rax\*1\], eax) \[RSP+340\] 0x7FF6E50787B0 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+30B87B0 add \[rax\], al) \[RSP+348\] 0x5064BFD68 (\`IOManager::DoOnPreRunTask'::\`2'::Pauser\*) \[RSP+350\] 0x17 (size\_t) \[23\] \[RSP+358\] 0x1 (size\_t) \[1\] \[RSP+360\] 0x7FF6E5078728 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+30B8728 and \[rdi+0x7FF6E507\], al) \[RSP+368\] 0x7FF6E2C3DA0F (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0C7DA0F add r12d, eax) \[RSP+370\] 0x3 (size\_t) \[3\] \[RSP+378\] 0x17B08CA7278 (BSTextureDB::QueuedHandles\*) \[RSP+380\] 0x7FF6E5078738 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+30B8738 add \[rax\], al) \[RSP+388\] 0x5064BFE00 (void\*) \[RSP+390\] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+398\] 0x7FF6E50786E0 (BSResource::EntryDB\*) \[RSP+3A0\] 0x17AE25458D8 (BSTextureDB::QueuedHandles\*) \[RSP+3A8\] 0x17B08CA7288 (void\*) \[RSP+3B0\] 0x6400000003 (size\_t) \[429496729603\] \[RSP+3B8\] 0x17AC2758B50 (void\*) \[RSP+3C0\] 0x4E20 (size\_t) \[20000\] \[RSP+3C8\] 0x111F9A5012 (size\_t) \[73544650770\] \[RSP+3D0\] 0x3 (size\_t) \[3\] \[RSP+3D8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+3E0\] 0x17AAC32C6C8 (void\*) \[RSP+3E8\] 0x7FF6E2D3681D (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0D7681D add rbx, 0x08) \[RSP+3F0\] 0x17AAC32C680 (void\*) \[RSP+3F8\] 0x5064BFE00 (void\*) \[RSP+400\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+408\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+410\] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+418\] 0x7FF6E3838D08 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+1878D08 loopne 0x00007FF6E3838D74) \[RSP+420\] 0x17A7650C250 (BSTaskManagerThread\*) \[RSP+428\] 0x17A7650C250 (BSTaskManagerThread\*) \[RSP+430\] 0x17A7650C250 (BSTaskManagerThread\*) \[RSP+438\] 0x7FF6E2D3312F (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0D7312F mov \[rbp+0x48\], r12) \[RSP+440\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+448\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+450\] 0x500000000 (size\_t) \[21474836480\] \[RSP+458\] 0xFE8 (size\_t) \[4072\] \[RSP+460\] 0x7FF6E4FC6801 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+3006801 add \[rax\], al) \[RSP+468\] 0x17A3374FAA8 (void\*) \[RSP+470\] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+478\] 0x7FF6E3838818 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+1878818 xor \[rsi\], bh) \[RSP+480\] 0x17A00000000 (void\*) \[RSP+488\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+490\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+498\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4A0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4A8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4B0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4B8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4C0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4C8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4D0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4D8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4E0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4E8\] 0x7FF6E2C05E4D (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0C45E4D mov rcx, \[0x00007FF6E4FC6898\]) \[RSP+4F0\] 0x7FF6E4FC68F0 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+30068F0 add \[rax\], al) \[RSP+4F8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+500\] 0x3000058C20258C2 (size\_t) \[216173163325839554\] \[RSP+508\] 0x17A7650C250 (BSTaskManagerThread\*) \[RSP+510\] 0x17A7650C250 (BSTaskManagerThread\*) \[RSP+518\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+520\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+528\] 0x7FFB0CA97614 (void\* -> KERNEL32.DLL+0017614 mov ecx, eax) \[RSP+530\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+538\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+540\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+548\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+550\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+558\] 0x7FFB0DA826A1 (void\* -> ntdll.dll+00526A1 jmp 0x00007FFB0DA826C3) \[RSP+560\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+568\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+570\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+578\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+580\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+588\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+590\] 0xCB6FAE8E00000000 (size\_t) \[uint: 14659127237022842880 int: -3787616836686708736\] \[RSP+598\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5A0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5A8\] 0x7FFB0B700020 (void\* -> KERNELBASE.dll+0110020 mov \[rsp+0x10\], rbx) \[RSP+5B0\] 0x5064BEAC0 (void\*) \[RSP+5B8\] 0xBAB80001FFEF007E (size\_t) \[uint: 13454503895358177406 int: -4992240178351374210\] \[RSP+5C0\] 0x7FFBC01FAEAE (size\_t) \[140719236820654\] \[RSP+5C8\] 0x5064BEAC0 (void\*) \[RSP+5D0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5D8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5E0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5E8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5F0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5F8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+600\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+608\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+610\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+618\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+620\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+628\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+630\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+638\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+640\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+648\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+650\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+658\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+660\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+668\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+670\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+678\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+680\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+688\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+690\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+698\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6A0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6A8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] 

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MODULES:

XINPUT1\_3.dll 0x000000400000 X3DAudio1\_7.dll 0x000068140000 po3\_SimpleOffenceSuppression.dll 0x017A3DA80000 SkyrimSE.exe 0x7FF6E1FC0000 XAudio2\_7.dll 0x7FFA6EE60000 YesImSure.dll 0x7FFA6EEF0000 WhoseQuestIsItAnyway.dll 0x7FFA6EF80000 UniqueMapWeather.dll 0x7FFA6F000000 SSEDisplayTweaks.dll 0x7FFA6F0A0000 SoundRecordDistributor.dll 0x7FFA6F150000 SkyrimCharacterSheet.dll 0x7FFA6F230000 skee64.dll 0x7FFA6F340000 UnequipQuiverSE.dll 0x7FFA6FA20000 SoftShadows.dll 0x7FFA70490000 ShowPlayerInMenus.dll 0x7FFA70540000 ScriptEffectArchetypeCrashFix.dll 0x7FFA705B0000 ScrambledBugs.dll 0x7FFA70630000 ScaleformTranslationPP.dll 0x7FFA706D0000 QUI.dll 0x7FFA70740000 poisoner.dll 0x7FFA708A0000 po3\_Tweaks.dll 0x7FFA70960000 po3\_SpellPerkItemDistributor.dll 0x7FFA70A30000 PapyrusUtil.dll 0x7FFA70C40000 po3\_LockVariations.dll 0x7FFA8BCF0000 PapyrusTweaks.dll 0x7FFA8BDA0000 MoreInformativeConsole.dll 0x7FFA8BF50000 MCMHelper.dll 0x7FFA8C030000 MaxsuAIProcessFix.dll 0x7FFA8C110000 MapMarkerFramework.dll 0x7FFA8C180000 ImWalkinHere.dll 0x7FFA8C220000 HorseStaminaHUD.dll 0x7FFA8C280000 HDLocalMap.dll 0x7FFA8C2E0000 Fuz Ro D'oh.dll 0x7FFA8C340000 CrashLogger.dll 0x7FFA8C3B0000 BugFixesSSE.dll 0x7FFA8C670000 AHZmoreHUDPlugin.dll 0x7FFA8D370000 AHZmoreHUDInventory.dll 0x7FFA8D400000 EngineFixes.dll 0x7FFA8F510000 DSOUND.DLL 0x7FFA94A30000 skse64\_1\_6\_640.dll 0x7FFA9EFE0000 usvfs\_x64.dll 0x7FFA9FA70000 StormLightning.dll 0x7FFAA1E20000 FixNotesForSkyUI.dll 0x7FFAA1F30000 tbbmalloc.dll 0x7FFAA1F90000 steam\_api64.dll 0x7FFAA2000000 No Lockpick Activate.dll 0x7FFAA4810000 DynDOLOD.DLL 0x7FFAA48B0000 tbb.dll 0x7FFAA4A90000 bink2w64.dll 0x7FFAA4B00000 DINPUT8.dll 0x7FFAA4B80000 nvspcap64.dll 0x7FFAAAA90000 winmmbase.dll 0x7FFAD1B20000 ncryptsslp.dll 0x7FFAD9E80000 atcuf64.dll 0x7FFADBAA0000 bdhkm64.dll 0x7FFADBBE0000 mskeyprotect.dll 0x7FFADBCB0000 d3dx9\_42.dll 0x7FFAE1A40000 dbgcore.DLL 0x7FFAE4AE0000 MSVCP140\_ATOMIC\_WAIT.dll 0x7FFAE4EB0000 VCRUNTIME140\_1.dll 0x7FFAE5EF0000 VCRUNTIME140.dll 0x7FFAE5F60000 MSVCP140.dll 0x7FFAE5F80000 AUDIOSES.DLL 0x7FFAE77C0000 webio.dll 0x7FFAEB3D0000 fwpuclnt.dll 0x7FFAEDB40000 antimalware\_provider64.dll 0x7FFAEE1B0000 amsi.dll 0x7FFAEE270000 inputhost.dll 0x7FFAEF870000 textinputframework.dll 0x7FFAEF9D0000 Windows.UI.dll 0x7FFAEFD70000 MessageBus.dll 0x7FFAF3170000 nvwgf2umx.dll 0x7FFAF5880000 rasadhlp.dll 0x7FFAFAEB0000 Oleacc.dll 0x7FFAFAEC0000 MMDevApi.dll 0x7FFAFEC40000 fastprox.dll 0x7FFB00E40000 wbemsvc.dll 0x7FFB01A20000 wbemcomn.dll 0x7FFB02150000 nvldumdx.dll 0x7FFB024E0000 drvstore.dll 0x7FFB03280000 wbemprox.dll 0x7FFB034D0000 dxcore.dll 0x7FFB03750000 dbghelp.dll 0x7FFB038E0000 WINHTTP.dll 0x7FFB041D0000 dhcpcsvc6.DLL 0x7FFB050A0000 WINNSI.DLL 0x7FFB05410000 VERSION.dll 0x7FFB05430000 dhcpcsvc.DLL 0x7FFB05440000 cryptnet.dll 0x7FFB054D0000 twinapi.appcore.dll 0x7FFB05A30000 WindowManagementAPI.dll 0x7FFB05CC0000 WINMM.dll 0x7FFB05E80000 avrt.dll 0x7FFB06490000 PROPSYS.dll 0x7FFB06CC0000 d3d11.dll 0x7FFB06E40000 wintypes.dll 0x7FFB07AD0000 dcomp.dll 0x7FFB07D80000 CoreUIComponents.dll 0x7FFB082F0000 CoreMessaging.dll 0x7FFB08650000 apphelp.dll 0x7FFB08970000 uxtheme.dll 0x7FFB08B40000 resourcepolicyclient.dll 0x7FFB08C20000 dwmapi.dll 0x7FFB08E30000 kernel.appcore.dll 0x7FFB09010000 windows.storage.dll 0x7FFB09210000 HID.DLL 0x7FFB099B0000 dxgi.dll 0x7FFB099F0000 schannel.DLL 0x7FFB0A0C0000 rsaenh.dll 0x7FFB0A1A0000 ntmarta.dll 0x7FFB0A2E0000 UMPDC.dll 0x7FFB0A570000 IPHLPAPI.DLL 0x7FFB0A590000 DNSAPI.dll 0x7FFB0A5E0000 powrprof.dll 0x7FFB0A700000 mswsock.dll 0x7FFB0A8F0000 cryptbase.dll 0x7FFB0AAE0000 CRYPTSP.dll 0x7FFB0AAF0000 Wldp.dll 0x7FFB0AB90000 NTASN1.dll 0x7FFB0ABC0000 ncrypt.dll 0x7FFB0AC00000 msasn1.dll 0x7FFB0AD20000 devobj.dll 0x7FFB0AEE0000 DPAPI.DLL 0x7FFB0AF30000 SspiCli.dll 0x7FFB0AFF0000 USERENV.dll 0x7FFB0B030000 profapi.dll 0x7FFB0B070000 CRYPT32.dll 0x7FFB0B130000 WINTRUST.DLL 0x7FFB0B290000 bcryptPrimitives.dll 0x7FFB0B300000 win32u.dll 0x7FFB0B390000 bcrypt.dll 0x7FFB0B3C0000 cfgmgr32.dll 0x7FFB0B3F0000 ucrtbase.dll 0x7FFB0B440000 KERNELBASE.dll 0x7FFB0B5F0000 msvcp\_win.dll 0x7FFB0B8D0000 gdi32full.dll 0x7FFB0B970000 SHCORE.dll 0x7FFB0BA80000 SHELL32.dll 0x7FFB0BC70000 clbcatq.dll 0x7FFB0C3C0000 IMM32.DLL 0x7FFB0C4F0000 msvcrt.dll 0x7FFB0C6D0000 sechost.dll 0x7FFB0C770000 ole32.dll 0x7FFB0C810000 imagehlp.dll 0x7FFB0C940000 ADVAPI32.dll 0x7FFB0C9C0000 KERNEL32.DLL 0x7FFB0CA80000 MSCTF.dll 0x7FFB0CB40000 SETUPAPI.dll 0x7FFB0CC60000 combase.dll 0x7FFB0D130000 SHLWAPI.dll 0x7FFB0D490000 USER32.dll 0x7FFB0D4F0000 OLEAUT32.dll 0x7FFB0D6A0000 RPCRT4.dll 0x7FFB0D770000 PSAPI.DLL 0x7FFB0D8A0000 GDI32.dll 0x7FFB0D940000 NSI.dll 0x7FFB0D970000 WS2\_32.dll 0x7FFB0D980000 ntdll.dll 0x7FFB0DA30000 

​
SKSE PLUGINS:

AHZmoreHUDInventory.dll v2.1.2 AHZmoreHUDPlugin.dll v5.2.2 BugFixesSSE.dll CrashLogger.dll v1.8 DynDOLOD.DLL v2.45 EngineFixes.dll v6.1.1 FixNotesForSkyUI.dll v1.2.6 Fuz Ro D'oh.dll v2.3.6.1030 HDLocalMap.dll v1.0.2 HorseStaminaHUD.dll v1.0.4 ImWalkinHere.dll v1.7 MapMarkerFramework.dll v2.0.5 MaxsuAIProcessFix.dll v1 MCMHelper.dll v1.4 MoreInformativeConsole.dll v1.1 No Lockpick Activate.dll PapyrusTweaks.dll v4.1 PapyrusUtil.dll po3\_LockVariations.dll v3.1.0.1 po3\_SimpleOffenceSuppression.dll v2.2.1.1 po3\_SpellPerkItemDistributor.dll v6.4.0.1 po3\_Tweaks.dll v1.8.0.1 poisoner.dll v1 QUI.dll v0.3.2 ScaleformTranslationPP.dll v1.6 ScrambledBugs.dll ScriptEffectArchetypeCrashFix.dll ShowPlayerInMenus.dll v2.0.2 skee64.dll SkyrimCharacterSheet.dll v1.0.3 SoftShadows.dll v1.2 SoundRecordDistributor.dll v1.2 SSEDisplayTweaks.dll v0.5.12 StormLightning.dll UnequipQuiverSE.dll UniqueMapWeather.dll v1.1.1 WhoseQuestIsItAnyway.dll v1.5 YesImSure.dll v1.7 

​
PLUGINS:

Light: 158 Regular: 101 Total: 259 \[00\] Skyrim.esm \[01\] Update.esm \[02\] Dawnguard.esm \[03\] HearthFires.esm \[04\] Dragonborn.esm \[05\] ccasvsse001-almsivi.esm \[06\] ccBGSSSE001-Fish.esm \[07\] cctwbsse001-puzzledungeon.esm \[08\] cceejsse001-hstead.esm \[09\] ccbgssse016-umbra.esm \[0A\] ccbgssse031-advcyrus.esm \[0B\] ccbgssse067-daedinv.esm \[0C\] ccBGSSSE025-AdvDSGS.esm \[0D\] cceejsse005-cave.esm \[0E\] ccafdsse001-dwesanctuary.esm \[0F\] Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch.esp \[10\] Worldspace Transition Tweaks - Skyrim To Solstheim.esp \[11\] MajesticMountains\_Landscape.esm \[12\] RealisticWaterTwo - Resources.esm \[13\] BetterDynamicAsh-DisableRefs.esm \[14\] FarmhouseChimneys.esp \[15\] Better Dynamic Snow SE - DisableRefs.esm \[16\] dD - Enhanced Blood Main LITE.esp \[17\] SkyrimImprovedPuddles-DG-HF-DB.esp \[18\] UnlimitedBookshelves.esp \[19\] SkyUI\_SE.esp \[1A\] SMIM-SE-Merged-All.esp \[1B\] Better Dynamic Snow SE.esp \[1C\] Audio Overhaul Skyrim.esp \[1D\] Immersive Sounds - Compendium.esp \[1E\] RelightingSkyrim\_SSE.esp \[1F\] Book Covers Skyrim.esp \[20\] Aspens Ablaze.esp \[21\] Relationship Dialogue Overhaul.esp \[22\] SmoothShores.esp \[23\] Landscape Fixes For Grass Mods.esp \[24\] Cutting Room Floor.esp \[25\] AI Overhaul.esp \[26\] Guard Dialogue Overhaul.esp \[27\] Weapons Armor Clothing & Clutter Fixes.esp \[28\] Embers XD.esp \[29\] Realistic Boat Bobbing.esp \[2A\] aMidianBorn\_ContentAddonLight.esp \[2B\] WACCF\_Armor and Clothing Extension.esp \[2C\] Odin - Skyrim Magic Overhaul.esp \[2D\] hearthfireextended.esp \[2E\] Point The Way.esp \[2F\] Thieves Guild Requirements.esp \[30\] Major Cities Mesh Overhaul.esp \[31\] Oakwood.esp \[32\] Better Dynamic Ash.esp \[33\] Run For Your Lives.esp \[34\] Oblivion Gates Remade.esp \[35\] Book Covers Skyrim - Lost Library.esp \[36\] Helarchen Creek.esp \[37\] Cathedral Landscapes.esp \[38\] RaceMenu.esp \[39\] XPMSE.esp \[3A\] DeadlySpellImpacts.esp \[3B\] BlendedRoads.esp \[3C\] Elemental\_Staffs.esp \[3D\] Enhanced Vanilla Trees SSE.esp \[3E\] Footprints.esp \[3F\] imp\_helm\_legend.esp \[40\] SparklesSE.esp \[41\] ClavicusArgonianMasque.esp \[42\] PilgrimsDelight.esp \[43\] ORM-Arvak.esp \[44\] DragonShoutVoice.esp \[45\] IHSS.esp \[46\] Beards.esp \[47\] Brows.esp \[48\] SPTConsistentOlderPeopleSE.esp \[49\] LRR - Alternative - by LeonardoTrote.esp \[4A\] NB-Scars.esp \[4B\] VWA\_VanillaWarpaintsAbsolution.esp \[4C\] CrittersAintSnitches.esp \[4D\] EyesFix.esp \[4E\] Better Stealth AI for Followers.esp \[4F\] Faction\_Fixes\_Vanilla.esp \[50\] ButterfliesUnchained.esp \[51\] Cathedral Weathers.esp \[52\] getSnowy.esp \[53\] GoOnAhead.esp \[54\] ReasonableMovementSpeed.esp \[55\] Snotgurg Simple Drop Lit Torches.esp \[56\] NotSoFast-MainQuest.esp \[57\] The Paarthurnax Dilemma.esp \[58\] TimingIsEverything.esp \[59\] Lock\_Overhaul.esp \[5A\] HFE-CRF-Patch.esp \[5B\] iHUD.esp \[5C\] Chesko\_LoreBasedLoadingScreens.esp \[5D\] RaceMenuPlugin.esp \[5E\] WondersofWeather.esp \[5F\] Trade & Barter.esp \[60\] Vokrii - Minimalistic Perks of Skyrim.esp \[61\] Odin - Vokrii Compatibility Patch.esp \[62\] Alternate Start - Live Another Life.esp \[63\] RealisticWaterTwo.esp \[64\] Atlas Map Markers.esp \[FE:000\] ccbgssse002-exoticarrows.esl \[FE:001\] ccbgssse003-zombies.esl \[FE:002\] ccbgssse004-ruinsedge.esl \[FE:003\] ccbgssse005-goldbrand.esl \[FE:004\] ccbgssse006-stendarshammer.esl \[FE:005\] ccbgssse007-chrysamere.esl \[FE:006\] ccbgssse010-petdwarvenarmoredmudcrab.esl \[FE:007\] ccbgssse011-hrsarmrelvn.esl \[FE:008\] ccbgssse012-hrsarmrstl.esl \[FE:009\] ccbgssse014-spellpack01.esl \[FE:00A\] ccbgssse019-staffofsheogorath.esl \[FE:00B\] ccbgssse020-graycowl.esl \[FE:00C\] ccbgssse021-lordsmail.esl \[FE:00D\] ccmtysse001-knightsofthenine.esl \[FE:00E\] ccQDRSSE001-SurvivalMode.esl \[FE:00F\] ccqdrsse002-firewood.esl \[FE:010\] ccbgssse018-shadowrend.esl \[FE:011\] ccbgssse035-petnhound.esl \[FE:012\] ccfsvsse001-backpacks.esl \[FE:013\] cceejsse002-tower.esl \[FE:014\] ccedhsse001-norjewel.esl \[FE:015\] ccvsvsse002-pets.esl \[FE:016\] ccBGSSSE037-Curios.esl \[FE:017\] ccbgssse034-mntuni.esl \[FE:018\] ccbgssse045-hasedoki.esl \[FE:019\] ccbgssse008-wraithguard.esl \[FE:01A\] ccbgssse036-petbwolf.esl \[FE:01B\] ccffbsse001-imperialdragon.esl \[FE:01C\] ccmtysse002-ve.esl \[FE:01D\] ccbgssse043-crosselv.esl \[FE:01E\] ccvsvsse001-winter.esl \[FE:01F\] cceejsse003-hollow.esl \[FE:020\] ccbgssse038-bowofshadows.esl \[FE:021\] ccbgssse040-advobgobs.esl \[FE:022\] ccbgssse050-ba\_daedric.esl \[FE:023\] ccbgssse052-ba\_iron.esl \[FE:024\] ccbgssse054-ba\_orcish.esl \[FE:025\] ccbgssse058-ba\_steel.esl \[FE:026\] ccbgssse059-ba\_dragonplate.esl \[FE:027\] ccbgssse061-ba\_dwarven.esl \[FE:028\] ccpewsse002-armsofchaos.esl \[FE:029\] ccbgssse041-netchleather.esl \[FE:02A\] ccedhsse002-splkntset.esl \[FE:02B\] ccbgssse064-ba\_elven.esl \[FE:02C\] ccbgssse063-ba\_ebony.esl \[FE:02D\] ccbgssse062-ba\_dwarvenmail.esl \[FE:02E\] ccbgssse060-ba\_dragonscale.esl \[FE:02F\] ccbgssse056-ba\_silver.esl \[FE:030\] ccbgssse055-ba\_orcishscaled.esl \[FE:031\] ccbgssse053-ba\_leather.esl \[FE:032\] ccbgssse051-ba\_daedricmail.esl \[FE:033\] ccbgssse057-ba\_stalhrim.esl \[FE:034\] ccbgssse066-staves.esl \[FE:035\] ccbgssse068-bloodfall.esl \[FE:036\] ccbgssse069-contest.esl \[FE:037\] ccvsvsse003-necroarts.esl \[FE:038\] ccvsvsse004-beafarmer.esl \[FE:039\] ccffbsse002-crossbowpack.esl \[FE:03A\] ccbgssse013-dawnfang.esl \[FE:03B\] ccrmssse001-necrohouse.esl \[FE:03C\] ccedhsse003-redguard.esl \[FE:03D\] cceejsse004-hall.esl \[FE:03E\] cckrtsse001\_altar.esl \[FE:03F\] cccbhsse001-gaunt.esl \[FE:040\] Skyrim Project Optimization - Full ESL Version.esm \[FE:041\] UHDAP - MusicHQ.esp \[FE:042\] UHDAP - en0.esp \[FE:043\] UHDAP - en1.esp \[FE:044\] UHDAP - en2.esp \[FE:045\] UHDAP - en3.esp \[FE:046\] UHDAP - en4.esp \[FE:047\] Landscape and Water Fixes.esp \[FE:048\] Obsidian Mountain Fogs.esp \[FE:049\] MajesticMountains\_Moss.esp \[FE:04A\] SLSR - LargeRefs.esm \[FE:04B\] Realistic Boat Bobbing SE - DisabledRefs.esm \[FE:04C\] SimpleChildren.esp \[FE:04D\] DoNotPushMeAround.esl \[FE:04E\] BetterContainerControls.esl \[FE:04F\] AHZmoreHUD.esl \[FE:050\] Unofficial Skyrim Creation Club Content Patch.esl \[FE:051\] Butterflies.esp \[FE:052\] Hearthfires Houses Building Fix.esp \[FE:053\] AOS\_ISC\_Integration.esp \[FE:054\] Ambiance.esp \[FE:055\] BetterQuestObjectives.esp \[FE:056\] Snowy Landscapes in Snowy Regions.esp \[FE:057\] Grass Cache Fixes.esp \[FE:058\] MCMHelper.esp \[FE:059\] Landscape and Water Fixes - Patch - LFfGM.esp \[FE:05A\] MajesticMountains.esp \[FE:05B\] WoW Dragon Mounds CTD Fix.esp \[FE:05C\] SLSR - Cutting Room Floor Patch.esp \[FE:05D\] Landscape and Water Fixes - Patch - Tundra Homested.esp \[FE:05E\] FOLIP.esp \[FE:05F\] Frost Meshes Patch.esp \[FE:060\] WACCF\_Armor and Clothing Extension\_SPID.esp \[FE:061\] CC Open Helmets Merged.esp \[FE:062\] Embers XD - Fire Magick Add-On.esp \[FE:063\] HD Stone Quarry and Clay Deposits SE.esp \[FE:064\] Landscape Fixes For Grass mods - Cutting Room Floor Locations.esp \[FE:065\] Landscape For Grass Mods - Oakwood PATCH.esp \[FE:066\] Rielle Objects Secured.esp \[FE:067\] Soul-Cairn Objects Secured.esp \[FE:068\] Regional Sounds Expansion.esp \[FE:069\] Reverb Interior Sounds Expansion.esp \[FE:06A\] AcousticTemplateFixes.esp \[FE:06B\] AcousticTemplateFixes\_Ambiance.esp \[FE:06C\] AcousticTemplateFixes\_CC\_Farming.esp \[FE:06D\] AcousticTemplateFixes\_CC\_Seducers.esp \[FE:06E\] AcousticTemplateFixes\_ReverbInteriorSounds.esp \[FE:06F\] Thundering Shouts.esp \[FE:070\] Lore-Corrected Races.esp \[FE:071\] EVE - Ghost Mechanics and Shaders Restored.esp \[FE:072\] FacegenForKids.esp \[FE:073\] Hunters Not Bandits.esp \[FE:074\] shalidor's maze fixes.esp \[FE:075\] Raven Rock - Fix Exit on Horseback.esp \[FE:076\] Shadows Of Sunlight - In Small Exterior World Spaces.esp \[FE:077\] Waterbreathing Breathless Emerge USSEP SSE.esp \[FE:078\] EVE - Spellbreaker Spell Reflection and Ward Visuals Restored.esp \[FE:079\] TavernAIFix.esp \[FE:07A\] UnequipQuiverSE.esp \[FE:07B\] Disease Descriptions.esp \[FE:07C\] Cathedral Weather Godrays.esp \[FE:07D\] Improved Traps.esp \[FE:07E\] BetterQuestObjectives - BCS Patch.esp \[FE:07F\] CoMAP - Authors Cut.esp \[FE:080\] EVE - Savos Aren's Regrets Restored.esp \[FE:081\] BetterQuestObjectives-CRFPatch.esp \[FE:082\] BetterQuestObjectives-DBForevertoMisc.esp \[FE:083\] BetterQuestObjectives-PaarDilemmaPatch.esp \[FE:084\] HereWeGoAgain.esp \[FE:085\] Smart\_NPC\_Potions.esp \[FE:086\] CoMAP - Jorrvaskr Marker.esp \[FE:087\] CoMAP - KhajiitCaravans.esp \[FE:088\] Convenient Reading.esp \[FE:089\] GLZ-InformedMailDelivery.esp \[FE:08A\] ShowPlayerInMenus.esp \[FE:08B\] Oblivion Gates Remade - Map Markers.esp \[FE:08C\] Oblivion Gates Remade - Mountain Texture with MM Shader.esp \[FE:08D\] Ambiance - Light Colors.esp \[FE:08E\] CathedralWeatherMCM.esp \[FE:08F\] StormLightning.esp \[FE:090\] BetterQuestObjectives-AlternateStartPatch.esp \[FE:091\] Landscape Fixes For Grass mods - Alternate start Locations.esp \[FE:092\] A Clear Map of Skyrim.esp \[FE:093\] WTT - Skyrim-Solstheim - Worldsettings.esp \[FE:094\] ACMOS - WTT Patch.esp \[FE:095\] HFE-CC Fishing Patch.esp \[FE:096\] Majestic Mountains - Creation Club Landscape Patch.esp \[FE:097\] RBB - Oakwood Patch.esp \[FE:098\] RBB - USSEP Patch.esp \[FE:099\] Smooth Shores-Landscape Fixes for Grass Mods Patch.esp \[FE:09A\] Smooth Shores-Tundra Homestead Patch.esp \[FE:09B\] Smooth Shores-USSEP Patch.esp \[FE:09C\] Smooth Shores-WTT Patch.esp \[FE:09D\] Vokrii - Trade & Barter Patch.esp 

Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.

Community Rules

1. Kindness Matters

Advise, don't criticize.

• Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
• Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
• No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
• Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
• This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.

2. No Drama

This is a support sub.

• Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
• Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
• Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
• Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.

3. Report, Don’t Rant

No backseat modding.

• If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
• No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
• If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.

4. No Naming & Shaming

No userpings or links.

• Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
• If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.

5. No Platitudes

Nobody knew what they were getting into.

• Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
• Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
• Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.

6. No Trolling

We have zero tolerance for trolls.

• This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
• Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
• Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.

7. No Personally Identifiable Information

Use discretion when posting.

• We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
• Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
• Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
• Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.

8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours

Use the daily threads.

• We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.

9. Follow Reddiquette

Remember the human.

• Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
• Read it in full here.
• Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
• If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
• Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.

10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval

Just don't.

• This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
• Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
• No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
• No advertising without prior mod approval.
• No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
• For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.

11. Disputes in Modmail Only

Don't argue with the mods on the sub.

• Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
• This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
• Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.

12. Moderator Actions

We aren't kidding.

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

13. Ban Procedure

These actions are at moderator discretion.

• Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
• Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
• You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
• Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
• Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
• We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.

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​

FAQ - About the Rules

What does Kindness Matters mean?

• Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
• The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
• Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.

What about being kind to the kids?

• "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
• If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
• Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.

Why is this sub such an echo chamber?

• Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
• If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
• If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.

Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?

• Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
• Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
• Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.

But OP asked if they were an asshole?!

• Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
• If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.

What is a gendered slur?

• While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
• We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
• Examples that are not allowed:
  • "My SD is such a little bitch."
  • "She dresses/acts like a slut."
  • "My SS acts like a pussy."
  • "My SS is such a beta male."
  • "You are all fucking whores."
  • "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
  • "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
  • "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
• Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
• Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
• As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.

Seriously? You are the language police now?

• We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
• We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.

What does No Drama really mean?

• Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.

What is thread derailment?

• When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
• If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.

But what if they didn't answer my question?

• No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.

Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!

• Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.

Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?

• No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
• Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
  • Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
  • Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
• Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
  • Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
  • Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."

Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?

• We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.

What if it's my own post?

• Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.

What is "brigading"?

• Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
• Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
• Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
• Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
• We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.

What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?

• If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.

What if I see an obvious troll?

• Report it.

What if they are being really mean in comments?

• Report it.

What if they are harassing me in private messages?

• Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
• Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
• Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.

What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?

• Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.

I can't link to other subs?

• Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")

I can't ping other users?

• Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
• If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")

What does No Platitudes mean?

• Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.

Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?

• Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
• This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.

Why can't you just love them like they are your own?

• Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.

What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...

• No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.

What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?

• That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.

What is "Concern Trolling?"

• A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
  • Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
  • Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."

What is a "Devil's Advocate"?

• "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.

"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?

• The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.

And "sealioning?" What's that?

• Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.

Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?

• The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.

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​

FAQ - Sub Questions

Posting Guidelines for Stepparents

• Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
• Assign a post flair that accurately describes what your post is about and what you are seeking. If you are posting an update from a previous post, include a link to that post.
• Flairs are applied to posts to determine what a person is looking for. When submitting a new post, you should choose a flair that specifies if you are looking for advice, support, etc. The following link flair is available and is color coded with side bar links so that you can search by flair:
  • Advice - For when you are specifically asking for advice or help.
  • Announcement - Mod Use Only, for subreddit announcements.
  • Daily (Formerly TTP) - Mod Use Only, for our daily discussion threads.
  • Discussion - A little advice, a little "How does your family handle this?"
  • JustBMThings - Pretty sure this is self explanatory!
  • Legal - Asking for legal advice? Tag it with this!
  • Miscellany - Just a sort of off topic thing? Use this tag.
  • Resource - Sharing a good resource or asking for one? This is the tag you need!
  • Support - For those days when you want nothing but a good old fashioned cry and some community love.
  • Update - Updating us on something that you posted about previously? Use this one!
  • Vent - We all need to vent sometimes. Respect the tag as a vent. This isn't how OP talks all day every day.
  • Win! - Celebrate those wins with us with this tag!
  • Megathread - Mod Use Only, for large mega threads (typically around major calendar events.)

Posting Guidelines for Bioparents

• Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
• There are some posts from bioparents we will accept:
  • Seeking advice on how to support your partner as they navigate stepparenting
  • Seeking resources to help you better support your partner
  • Seeking resources for your partner
• There are some posts from bioparents we will not accept:
  • Complaints about how the stepparent is too involved in your kids lives
  • Vents about how the stepparent is not involved enough in your kids lives
  • "Cautionary tales" advising stepparents to back off
  • Seeking advice on how to tell the stepparent to back off
  • The Do's and Dont's of Stepparenting
  • How your kid's stepmom is literally The Worst
• Comments from bioparents that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from bioparents that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. There are several other subs that may meet the needs of bioparents better than we can. We recommend /coparenting, /parenting, /parents, /blendedfamilies, and /singleparents as starting points.

Guidelines for Stepkids

• At this time, we do not generally accept posts from stepkids. Comments from stepkids that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from stepkids that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. If you are a stepkid seeking support, we highly recommend /stepkids. It is a very supportive community specifically for stepkids. We also recommend /blendedfamilies as another potential group for support.

What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!

• Check out the Common Acronyms wiki page. We try to keep this updated as new terms are introduced to the sub.

Why aren't my posts or comments showing up?

• New posters and accounts go through a waiting period before their posts will show in the sub and the comments on posts automatically. During the new account approval period the mod team will check posts to be sure you aren't attempting to circumvent a ban with a shiny new account. Please be patient while the timer runs down on your "new" status and the mod team approves your posts and responses.

Why was my comment removed?

• Comments are removed when they do not follow the rules of the sub. These rules are published in several places for your reading pleasure.
• Comments are removed at moderator discretion. In some cases your comment may be removed while another remains up. If you find this to be the case, and you believe the comment to be violating the rules, instead of arguing with mods or demanding they remove the additional comments, just report it.

This comment/post is really offensive! Why is it still up?

• All moderators are volunteers and have busy real lives. Sometimes things get past us. The best thing you can do is report anything you find offensive or inflammatory. It's the quickest and most reliable way of alerting us to an issue.

I've received a hurtful/unwanted PM from someone about my recent post. What should I do?

• If you receive an unwanted/hurtful PM from a name you don't recognize, please report it to Reddit Admins using our handy pre-populated form. Be sure to include the permalink to the message. We've been dealing with a few unhappy folks who like to attack stepparents, and reporting it to the admins is the only way to make it stop.

What are the general moderator guidelines?

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

I've been wrongly banned/Why can't I comment here?

• Due to an influx of harassment from users with specific user histories, we have employed a user history ban bot as described above. If you think this has affected you and wish to appeal, please message the mods.

Why was I banned without warning?

• There are numerous reasons that the mod team might opt to move perm banning without warning. Message the moderators if you have specific questions.

Trigger warning: sexual abuse
I have always wanted to talk about this topic. Although the post is stretching the definition of Expatshame, I feel that there is not enough discussion regarding the military abuses. The main point of this post is to spread awareness and create solutions (and for the subreddit to be united) , rather than expat shame per se.
Okinawa is one of the prefectures in Japan, in which it was annexed by the Japanese Empire. It currently hosts US Military bases, which resulted in numerous issues to arise. The criminal offences (e.g. rape, arson etc.) of some US military personnel have gotten unnoticed. At the same time, ecological damage is worsening due to the construction of new military bases. Kyodo News (2019) reported that seventy-percent (70%) of Okinawans had opposed the US military bases. There have in fact been multiple protests and rallies by the Okinawans. Nonetheless, the construction of new military bases will go through.
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Unpunished criminal offences
There have already been hundreds of complaints against US military personnel. If you ask me, they are expats who are just employed under the US military. The OHCHR (2022) wrote that the total number of cases and complaints against the US military personnel had already reached above five thousand (5,000).

... according to the statistics of the Okinawa Prefectural Police, the total number of criminal offenses committed by U.S. servicemen, servicewomen and their families until September 2020 counted 6,052, of which 581 were heinous crimes such as murder, robbery, rape and arson, and 129 were rape cases.
This is only the number of arrests made, and the actual number of incidents is believed to be much higher.

​
The following are specific cases of the abuse by the aforementioned personnel (Johnson, 2008) :

1.) On June 29, 2001, a 24-year-old air force staff sergeant, Timothy Woodland, was arrested for publicly raping a 20-year-old Okinawan woman on the hood of a car.
2.) On November 2, 2002, Okinawan authorities took into custody Marine Major Michael J Brown, 41 years old, for sexually assaulting a Filipina barmaid outside the Camp Courtney officer's club

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Let us not forget the infamous 1995 gang-rape case:

...the notorious 1995 kidnapping, beating and gang rape of a 12-year-old girl by two marines and a sailor in Kin village, Okinawa. The convicted assailants in that outrage were Marine Private First Class Roderico Harp, Marine Private First Class Kendrick Ledet and Seaman Marcus Gill

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Johnson had also reported that there are often other issues happening in Okinawa:

Other incidents of bodily harm, intimidation and death continue in Okinawa on an almost daily basis, including hit and-run collisions between American troops and Okinawans on foot or on auto bikes, robberies and assaults, bar brawls and drunken and disorderly conduct.

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Ecological Damage
Not only are the native Okinawans affected by the US military bases, but their eco-systems are in-danger as well. Dias (2018) further details on how extinction and contamination affects Okinawa:

The Oura Bay alone is home to 262 endangered species. The [US] military facility plans to dump 21 million metric tons of sand and soil mixed with the alien invasive Argentine ant and Red-back spider into its waters.
In this distinctive natural environment, 26 newly discovered endemic species have been found since 2006.
These islands are home to the Sekisei Lagoonresides, Japan’s largest - and dying - coral reef. Corals currently on Japan's 'red list' - Okinawensis veron and Sargassum carpophyllum - could be crushed by the construction works.

​

Since 1998, there have been over 415 incidents of toxic spills and dumping from the [US] military facilities. Polluted matter has flowed into rivers and embedded itself into the ecosystem. It's horrific to imagine this occurring yet again, especially amidst seeming efforts to house nuclear weapons in the the Oura Bay.

​

Added to this, it was uncovered in 1996 that US aircrafts were test-firing over 1,500 depleted urranium shells near an important fishing ground in Torishima.
In 2015, the Pentagon's release of US Marine Corps’ documents from the 1970s revealed “large fish kills” in the waters near Camp Kinser. Inspections demonstrated a high concentration hazardous compounds in the sea.

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Here are the solutions that I have come up with:

1. Research more about the effects of the US military bases on Okinawa
2. Coordinate with the Okinawan activists
3. For Asians: Focus on Asian empowerment projects with the Okinawans
4. For people living in Western Countries: spread more awareness of the issue (via newspapers, blogs, Youtube videos etc.) , pressure politicians to oppose military expansion ( even if it falls into deaf ears most of the time)

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References:
Dias, T. (2018, October 1). US military bases in Okinawa threaten people and Ecosystems. The Ecologist. Retrieved April 2, 2023, from https://theecologist.org/2018/oct/01/us-military-bases-okinawa-threaten-people-and-ecosystems
Johnson, C. (2008, March 3). The 'rape' of Okinawa - apjjf.org. Retrieved April 2, 2023, from https://apjjf.org/-Chalmers-Johnson/2686/article.pdf
KYODO NEWS+. (2019, February 25). Over 70% of voters reject U.S. base transfer in Okinawa referendum. Kyodo News+. Retrieved April 2, 2023, from https://english.kyodonews.net/news/2019/02/92e0b7fff7b5-voting-under-way-in-okinawa-for-referendum-on-us-base-relocation.html
OHCHR. (2022, January 30). Report on violence against indigenous Ryukyu/okinawa women and girls. OHCHR.org. Retrieved April 2, 2023, from https://www.ohchr.org/sites/default/files/2022-03/AOCHR.pdf

Watonga City, Mothers realm
April 3rd, 2291
8:30 pm
Diana landed outside the city, Frank disembarked and explained why the bloodthirsty creature was not a threat, all the while Wendy watched. She had felt something off about Oklahoma as soon as they neared its borders, her ears rang at random times, and she had nightmares of mutants. She had kept these things to herself as she had not wanted to worry Frank but now, they were becoming unbearable, her ears rang as Frank stood there calming the crowd but then suddenly stopped.
"Welcome, we've been expecting you two!"
Wendy looked to see a woman in her Middle Ages approaching her the crowd.
"I'm so sorry for the crowd we don't often get visitors around here."
"It's alright. But what do you mean you have been expecting us?"
"You're Sarah’s little boy toy, right?"
Frank stood up straight upon hearing Sarah’s name.
"I'm Victoria...I'm somewhat in charge around here. Please come in. And bring that thing in here..."
Frank turned to Wendy and nodded towards her. Wendy took the reigns and tapped Diana slightly to go forward. However, the griffon did not budge. She did it again and once more nothing.
"Diana come on."
The griffon sat down and shook Wendy off of it before unfurling its wings and flying up into the sky.
"HEY WAIT!"
Frank ran over to Wendy who sat on the ground.
"Hey you hurt?!"
"Why would she do that?"
"I don't know maybe she's not used to cities being full. Look we can find her after. This is the destination."
"Wait what?"
"We made it."
Frank helped Wendy off the ground and led her to the small gate that surrounded the city.
"I'm so sorry for the trouble of you coming here...we tried to make the trip to you but there were....complications."
"So, I take it you know about her?"
"Yes, she's a psyker...as am I and many others here."
Wendy looked up at the woman.
"You're a psyker too?!"
"Yep, I can influence people with my voice. It's how I got honcho here to trust me so easily at first."
Wendy turned to Frank who now realized just how relaxed he was earlier.
"We call it harmonic influentia..you have electrokinesis it's a rare trait here...but out west more common."
Wendy looked around the city, everything was so clean and pristine. These people were thriving, and Frank even seemed to agree.
"So, where's this training facility of yours?"
"It's by the capital building, we call it the chapel."
("Frank so what now?")
Frank shrugged.
"So do you guys get a lot of issues from Texas?"
"The occasional border skirmish with them but we can charm them away mainly. We are very isolationist...we tend to keep to ourselves and so we do not tolerate violence much. We have few guns to be honest. Only our army and guards carry them."
"I can respect isolationism but only trusting weapons in the hands of certain individuals is an issue."
Frank smelt a small nudge and turned to his left. Wendy mouthed to him.
*Shut up*
"No, it's fine, we're all our own individuals after all."
"How did you?"
"Oh, and would you look at that we’re here already."
Wendy looked at the building, it was large and covered with lavish ornaments.
"So why do you call it the chapel?"
"We worship our mother here."
"Mother?"
"Yes, she grants us ideas, instructions and much more. I will lead a sermon tomorrow if you wish to see more."
"You wouldn't happen to know of a Dorkin's would you?"
"Dor....oh the apostate.... yes he was a good man, but he grew radical wanted to create a society ruled by mother. We banished him almost a decade ago, I heard he established his own branch of our church in Utah."
"We had a few run ins with his men just...curious if you were connected."
"No, you're safe...we're not as radical in our beliefs."
Victoria led them up the stairs and into the chapel throwing the golden doors open.
"Welcome....this is our, training ground and your new home Wendy"
"Wait home?"
"Yes, you are staying with us, right?"
"I...I..."
Wendy turned to Frank and looked at him.
"Can he stay too?"
Victoria's eyebrows frowned for a second.
"Of course.....he's more than welcome to."
"I can stay...still need to clear my name back in NCR anyway, bastards still think I'm a murderer."
"Then that settles it, the rooms are up the stairs and to the left, they're all empty right now as school is out of session so you can pick one for the time being then come join us for dinner."
Frank and Wendy thanked Victoria before walking off to find two rooms.
"I'll pick whatever is closest too your room got it?"
"Yeah...hey so how are we going to find Diana?"
"We won't have to, she's right outside."
Frank walked over to a window and pointed up to the sky. A large creature flew in the silhouette of the moon.
"She refuses to come in, so she'll probably just be in the area hunting local fauna, you made her promise not to eat random people, right?"
"Yeah, I did."
"Alright well...leave your stuff and let's go eat dinner, chef Kingly can take a break."
Wendy chuckled as she opened the door and threw the bag onto the small bed. The room was small and cozy, there was a sink and a bar of soap. A small toilet was on the other side of the room surrounded by more luxurious items.
"I could get use to this."
As Wendy touched the counter her head throbbed, and her ears rang. She closed her eyes tightly as the pain hit her head. She groaned and grabbed at her head trying everything to make the pain go away. Then the smell hit her, it was horrendous, her stomach curled, and she grew nauseous.
"Wendy you alright?!"
A image flashed in her mind, a giant conglomerate of flesh and machinery held together by old wire and sinew. She opened her eyes and screamed out in horror Frank stood over her as she lay there.
"Hey kid you alright?!"
He looked at her worried.
"What happened?"
"You passed out. I heard you fall and came in here. Picked you up and placed you on the bed. You almost fried me, what happened, did you hit your head?"
"I..."
The image of gore flashed in her mind.
"I... yeah...I hit my head on the counter."
"Well be more careful......do you still want to eat dinner? I can tell them to bring the food here."
"No, I'm fine.... let's go..."
Wendy got up off the bed and wiped the drool from her mouth.
"I am no doctor...but you had a seizure.... I think we should-"
"I said let's go!"
Wendy tied her hair back into a ponytail and threw water on her face quickly cleaning up before walking towards the door.
"If you insist."
* 15 minutes later
Frank and Wendy sat down at the table with Victoria. The dining room was luxurious, it was clean solid metal and gold.
"How do you guys afford this stuff?"
"It's all just stuff we've found in and around our city, Morgana has put it to good use. You guys must be hungry."
Victoria clapped her hands and a Mr. Handy appeared from another room holding 3 trays of food.
^{"Your dinner sir and misses."}
“So, where is everybody else?”
“As I have said they are out on break usually I teach the classes and hold dinner but right now it's just us three.”
Wendy looked at her plate.
“What is this?”
“Salmon from the shores of Texas.”
“Salmon?”
“Have you never seen a fish before?!”
Frank said tearing and cleaning the fish tail of any meat.
“Locked in a cage remember?!”
“Oh yes, those damn brutes in the NCR. I swear they have no manners; it must have been awful having all those tests done on you. I experienced a similar fate before the war. All those damn lab coats, poking and prodding at me.”
“Wait before the war?! How...how old are you?”
Frank looked up from the fish and looked back and forth at Wendy and Victoria.
“Cannot say really. I like to think I am young, but my age occasionally shows Morgana is the beautiful one. But at my best guess I am around 226.”
Wendy sat mouth open as she looked at the woman who just shrugged off immortality.
“So, you can’t die or age?!”
“Age, no. Die, we very much can... its mother that keeps us this young, she uses her abilities to influence our cells to prevent the ones we love from dying, by natural means.”
“Oh, well what happened?”
“Hmmm?”
“You said you were in a lab how did you escape?”
“Ahh yes...the great war, it short circuited the power to our cages.... we escaped and... we banished the scientists to the waste.”
Frank cleaned his hand as he looked upon the conversation, he was not a psyker so he simply sat quietly as the two talked.
“So, Wendy when did you learn to control your abilities? Sarah mentioned you struggled at first to close your mind to other thoughts.”
“I struggle slightly but I have managed to prevent it most of the time. I learned it when I was around 6. Then there was pyrokinesis at 8, and electrokinesis was more recent around a month ago now, and even closer was my ability to talk to beasts hence the griffon.”
“Interesting...”
Frank set his fork down.
“You could make fire this entire time and you’ve been making me struggle for 5 minutes to turn on an old stove every day!?”
“Yeah, I didn’t want to be our damn cooking tool.”
Frank sighed as he continued to eat. He was out of his league and so he quickly finished his meal and excused himself. He walked the halls for a bit, they were old slightly rusted but articulated well. Then he saw her. A woman in purple standing on a balcony smoking a cigarette.
“Hello there handsome.”
Frank felt worried then suddenly at ease.”
“Victoria had said it was just us 3 tonight. I take it you are not supposed to be here.”
“I go where I please, I designed this grand hall after all.”
“You must be the lovely Morgana then.”
“I see V mentioned me.”
“She did...she left out how beautiful you were though.”
“You outsiders really know how to flatter a girl.”
“I should, seduction is a trait I practiced well o-”
“Oh, there you are Frank, who's this?”
Frank blinked his eyes quickly then looked behind him to see Wendy standing there holding a small cup.
“When did you...never mind this is... Morgana....shes the designer of this grand hall...”
“A pleasure to meet you...but I must be going now...so see you soon.”
Downstairs
“I thought she ordered you to seduce him?!”
“I tried, that little rat showed up. The reports were right Lysander, she is powerful, her mere presence broke my hold on him.”
“Not to worry. V still has a plan.”
“That girl is more powerful than any of us could have imagined, Dorkin's is right she’s better off dead even if it's not what mother wants.”
Lysander and Morgana opened the door to V’s room
“AND WHO WILL WE USE INSTEAD MORGANA?!”
Victoria shouted at her from behind before pushing them both in.
“HMM? YOU?!”
“No, V it's just...so many have died for one gir-”
V walked over to the desk in the room as she stared at Morgana
“They have died for the Putrescent mother. If I hear more of this talk, I will have you killed for treason! Since you did not seduce and have the guardian fall in love with you, I must alter my plan to make him wish to stay, Lysander!”
“Yes?”
“From my conversation with the vessel I have learned that her guardian is one with a strategic mind. In the morning show him one of our pleasant arms factories, but do not harm him. I cannot convince the vessel by force; she must do it willingly for the ritual to be complete.”
“I will do as told.”
“Why must we convince the guardian?”
“Her attachment to him is too strong. And she will not believe him just leaving so we must make it seem like he loves it here, so when we offer her the chance to bring prosperity her mind dwells on him not us.”
“I understand, V please allow me to try again. You must keep the vessel distracted long enough to-”
“No! You had your chance and unless he fails you shall live with that guilt, or you can join the Dowagers!”
“I understand...V I don’t like what you’ve become...”
“I’ve become what mother needs of me to become.”

The Restless God lies trapped, but not idle in its sealed off realm. It writhes and yearns for the day it may again take pleasure in the pain of mortals. To once again play in the blood and baske in the terror only finite creatures can produce.
Many worlds it's fed upon, but never satiated. But the world that fought back against its attacks long ago are the ones it wants all the more. It has become an obsession.
So it waits, and it feels, searching for weaknesses between the borders of our world and itself. Hungry and anxious it salivates at the thought of breaching into our world again. It will be its greatest decadence and pleasure, and our darkest days. Despite this, we must pray to Her Divine! We must beg for mercy and the return of Her light.
-Grand Mage Tellomon the IV on the prophecy of the Dark God's return (Second Age)
Pitch blackness. Pure darkness. A thick void of nothing completely swallowing me up, like a fish in the depths of an ocean.
I was crouched low in a ready position, using my right hand to balance by holding onto the wagon's wheel beside me. My legs burned from forcing myself to remain completely still. But pain had become a constant in my life now.
But I was grateful for the adrenaline burst that would always dampen the ever present burden of hunger and fatigue. At least it helped for a little. But the pain found its way back to me faster and faster each time.
It was hot and humid, almost like the swamps of the eastern bog a good 3 weeks journey from here. The cold wind stopped when the darkness befell our remote town. The breeze no longer ran its cold tendrils across the barren streets.
I grabbed the thin string tied around my neck and pulled out a heavy monocle hanging from it. I held the cold metal up to my eye, to look through the green tinted glass.
The magically infused monocle always remained cool to the touch, with a static shock feeling emanating from it.
I held it to my eye to see the world around me clearly, yet tented in bright shades of green. My eyes roamed across the quiet, motionless street.
Debris and bloated corpses littered the street. With no wind and the unnaturally heavy darkness, this somehow had a dampening effect on the stench coming from decaying bodies. They could only be smelled once you were almost on top of one of them or a meter away. But my dead kinsmen helped even in death, making good landmarks to navigate through the darkness.
There were monsters that accompanied the dark fog. Twisted figures that were the void itself. Maybe they were the cruel thoughts of the Restless God made manifest.
Humans long ago, in the First Age had named them rippers. We all hoped they were just a myth, not actual walking nightmares
The rippers swarmed the town in the blinding dark. They seemed to only kill for killing's sake. They never ate the people they killed, almost like it was just for fun instead of survival.
It made sense in some twisted way. The Restless God must have returned to our realm, and brought these hateful things with it.
Prophets had long told of The Restless One's return by it sending nightmares through the veil of reality, to infest in the minds of our leaders. Centuries of slowly chipping away at the barrier separating us, chipping away at our sanity.
The Restless One birthed itself into our reality like an already dead stillborn abomination. Like a newborn giant, deformed with extra limbs and already rotting from death.
But it was alive! As alive as this strange creature could be. Now it was free, and this did not bring the thing elation, just more anger and restlessness.
How do I know all these things? The nightmare visions sent to all mortals across the realm since the Restless One's returned. Actually there were nightmares for most of the town leading up to the event. I guess it was our omens for being so close to the epicenter of its invasion.
One omen would have been terrible enough, but something this perverse stacked on the misfortune.
Dark signs of its arrival showed themselves all over the Kingdom of Maldune. The signs stretched further across to the neighboring kingdoms. The wretched god's birth pains were so terrible, I wager they were felt thousands of leagues away on The Wild Continent.
But the other Kingdoms didn't have the vast magical communication network like us Modunians, so reports of bad omens tampered off dramatically outside of our borders.
The misfortune of my town was like I said, we were the closest to the epicenter of the entities push into our reality, closest to the cradle of the spoiled god.
An entire mountain range protected us from the shock wave of magical energy, but all livestock siezed up and died. All birds fell from out of the air. All rodents died in their holes. And our very young died in their cribs.
It was a terrible event to have the town's children instantly killed, but now I see it as a mercy for the little ones. The innocent children got to go to Our Divine in their sleep peacefully, or at least quickly. They didn't have to die in the suffocating dark, or by the diseased claws of the rippers.
The town's guard fell quickly. A group of 16 men on loan from The Capitol, to keep peace and protect the trade routes. Our peacekeepers were more used to using words to settle disputes among merchants, or occasionally throw a drunk into a cell overnight.
They were ill equipped to handle the inky blackness that engulfed the town, rolling down from the mountain like a fluid landslide. The confusion of the townspeople quickly turned to pandemonium as the screams began.
That's when we realized we were not alone in the dark. Things moved quickly in the blackness. The Rippers began to slaughter everyone in the pitch blackness.
The first few days are a blur to me even now. But that's how I remember the beginning of the horror, the beginning of the end. I remember the dark engulfing the town, the adrenaline of fear. My last sight was of silent death spilling down from the mountains like a boiling pot overflowing with a viscous poison.
When the black fog first swept over me, my first few breaths of the miasma burned my eyes and lungs. The taste of metal on my tongue. The smell of sulfur and something sweet. Something sweet and rancid. Decay and corruption.
But now I had to shake the fog out of my head and return to the terrible present. I had to embrace the hopeless situation without falling to despair.
My magical sight gazing through the monocle finally spotted the rest of my group. Jillsophie, Tagert, and Fellip. Tag and Fel carrying the heavy burlap sacks of animal feed, while Jill led the three of them through the darkness with her own magical monocle.
We spotted each other from across the corpse littered roadway. The General Goods store had caught on fire early in the supernatural invasion. Somehow the strange darkness had put out the fire, snuffing it out like a heavy blanket thrown over a weak flame. That's why we were back, looting the store, trying to keep from starving to death before the rippers could kill us first.
Jill gave me a series of quick hand signals I had recently taught her. They had scavenged three bags of feed. Fil was carrying two big bags and Tagert one of them, but they were heavy and we were all weak. Jill wasn't carrying anything. She was too busy leading the two of them by pulling on the corded string she had tied around both their waists.
Before I waved the three of them to hurry over, I turned to Caville, my partner in crime on this side of the road beside me. He blinked wide eyed in the darkness, one gloved hand twisting the ends of his graying mustache while the other held a death grip on the pommel of his sheathed short sword.
I had to remember I could see him clearly through my monocle, but he only saw and felt the oppressive darkness. He was just waiting for a claw or fang to strike him from the darkness.
Because of this I lightly placed my hand on his shoulder. The light touch didn't stop Caville from almost jumping out of his boots. He quickly calmed when he realized it was me. The old warrior steadied himself once more.
I place my hand on the flat of his chest so he could feel my finger placement through his light shirt. I signed the question to him through a series of light thumps separating the words.
"Another bag. 40 LBS. Can carry?" I finished my signing by holding the hand placement designating a question mark firmly against his chest. I saw his eyes widen and he grimaced in doubt. His old frame shook a little as he prepared his answer.
Of course he answered back that he could carry the load, but I knew the real answer. It's amazing how much we communicate through non-verbal cues, and how much more when we think we are concealed in darkness.
He was barely standing on two feet. Starving and aching. He was pushing his late 50's, and his joints and muscles carried the pain of being a veteran soldier for over 30 years. He would collapse under the weight of his light armor and newly added bag of feed. No way he could keep quiet or climb back up into the attic we were all hiding at.
But Caville's years of being a proud soldier almost assured me that he would take on the task regardless of his disposition. So I signed back to Jil, "Drop 3rd bag. Later."
I lied and informed Caville that I was incorrect in my assessment. There wasn't an extra bag of feed, and we would be returning to the relative safety of the windmill.
Jil quietly led Fil, with Tagert close behind, across the road. Her own magic monocle making it possible to maneuver around the maze of debris and bodies. They all moved slow enough for Jil to communicate with sharp tugs on the string fastened around both of them. Stealth was key.
When I first saw it I didn't know how to react. I knew what the rippers looked like through my monocle, and I knew the placement of all the dead town-folk. But as I watched my three companions snake around the bloated body of Mr. Dredge, the blacksmith, I saw the faintest quiver of motion within the corpse.
Normally, that would mean some sort of vermin or carrion feeder had nestled within the body. But in this nightmare world we lived in, the Rippers killed everything that wasn't already slaughtered when The Restless One re-emerged into our reality, sending out It's shockwave of death.
To my horror I realized something else. Upon closer inspection of Mr.Dredge's body. I noticed it had somehow moved a couple feet to the left since last time I had seen him. I could even see the wet smear marks in the dirt from where it dragged itself over.
My magical monocle could also detect other magic. It wasn't very good at it but still could. My vision was bathed in illuminating green, but magic showed up white.
That's what I saw rising out of Mr.Dredge's body. Four bright spider-like legs protruded out of the back of the corpse, and hooked into the ground, lifting the stiff dead body into the air slowly, quietly.
Jil in the others were completely unaware of the horror looming up behind them. The jaw of Mr. Dredge fell off with a soggy "plop" into the dirt. What looked like a large inverted scorpion's tail writhed out the body's mouth. The scorpion tale hung down around the body's bloated chest. The tail curling up to point a large stinger at the group.
I could see that Jil had heard the "plop" of the jaw falling off the corpse behind her. She raised her eyebrows, sniffed the air, and froze in an alert state, her two companions bumping into her.
I had temporarily frozen too. I had never seen a monster like this before. Its spider legs lifting the body up to let its human feet brush its toes lightly on the ground. The whole body was ridged from rigor mortis. The body's hands curled to its chest, making fists, stiff legs swaying like the awkward pendulum of a clock. Still bodily juices and blood oozed profusely from hismouth and ripped open guts.
A surreal thought came into my mind. Maybe it was my mind trying to make sense out of nonsense. Mr.Dredges stiff body reminding me of toy soldier from my childhood. They were always stiff jointed when brand new, not dead.
I finally snapped out of my daze when glowing white spikey tendrils pushed the body's guts out with another wet impact noise. The many spiked appendages snaked out slowly towards the back of the unaware Tagert.
"Jil!" my voice boomed out, breaking the silence like a cannon burst. Everyone jumped in surprise. "Run! Run!"
With my off hand I quickly dug into my pocket and produced a phlare, the phosphorus filled stick. I quickly pulled the cap off with my teeth, igniting the flame dangerously close to my face. I didn't care, and barely felt the heat.
Holding out the phlare to signal to Jil and the others, producing a blinding light in the dark. But the blackness was unnatural and dampened the burning flame into a muted orange glow. Regardless, the phlare was still bright enough to signal the unsuspecting trio crossing the street.
Through the monocle I saw all three of them lock eyes on the light and begin to hurry towards me. It was against human instinct to run unaware in darkness. This made them not fast enough, because the Dredge-thing shot out a torso tendril to stab Tagert in the upper back.
Tagert let out a cry of pain, but kept coming. The cry of pain causing all three to break out into a full run. The need to live finally overriding the need to see.
I dropped the phlare as Jill led the other two up to me. They almost ran her poor soul over as she braced to stop them. The Dredge monster seemed to be slow. Her Divine was still blessing us!
I grabbed Caville's shoulder and Jil grabbed the tail of my shirt. We all took off together, back to the windmill.
We tried to go as fast as we could the couple blocks back to our hideout, but It was hard going. Caville lagged beside me, with Tag and Fel huffing as they carried the 40 pound feed bags.
I looked back at Dredge to see it had fallen on its stomach and was skittering after us like a centipede. It was considerably faster now!
I lowered the monocle to put both hands on Caville's shoulders and push him in front of me. Even if I pushed him we still wouldn't be fast enough.
My mind raced, like it had so many times since the birth of the Restless One. My mind swirled with anxious thoughts of decisions and counter-decisions. My sleep deprived and starving brain hallucinated the faces of my people alongside the terrible silver teeth of the Rippers lunging towards me out the colorless backdrop.
But like always, I made a desperate choice. "Drop the feed bags! Its gaining on us!
I expected to hear the "Thump! Thump!" Of the bags hitting the dirt, but I got what I least expected instead.
"No Jack! Don't drop the feed! I'll buy you time!" Caville said as he shrugged free of my grasp on his shoulders and started in the opposite direction towards Dredge.
"I'm so t-tired of running away! A-and I miss my daughter and grandkids!" the old warrior declared, his voice cracking at the end of his statement.
He held out an outstretched hand and fingers. When the tips of them made contact with Jil's dirty clothes, he easily side-stepped around Jil and the other two with grace as they hurried past him in the dark. These were skills long honed from blindfold training to heighten a soldier's situational awareness level.
Jil was the only other to see what was happening. She reached out for him as the other two pushed her forward. She stifled a cry and pushed ahead.
I was glad Jil wouldn't see this, but I felt I had to watch. I had to witness his sacrifice in the depths of this hell.
I saw Dredge's corpse crawl its way up to Caville, one of its longer talons hooking into Caville's upper knee. Caville screamed and sliced horizontally instantly. The sword cut through the air harmlessly over the monster.
Caville took this information and countered quickly as more sharp tendrils stabbed into his lower body. He rose the blade high over his head and let out a final death blow, plunging the sword downwards to impale the monster, staking it to the ground.
The monster pulled the old soldier down and tore into him. Caville's screams echoed out as I turned to run. Worse is when his screams finally choked out and fell silent.
The group of us made it un-accosted for the rest of our journey. We hurried in silence just like we were in mourning. We made it to the edge of town where the river and the watermill stood.
We climbed up the stacked boxes on the side of the building to slide open a wooden panel into the attic.
The inside of the attic had the low glow of multiple lanterns and the stuffy smell of multiple unwashed people living in tight quarters together for a long time.
We piled in quickly to close up the entrance behind us. There were 8 of us now. Me, Jil, Fil, Tag, Mama Denise, her two kids, and Harper sleeping in the corner.
All eyes met mine as they counted the three of us. No one had to ask what happened to Caville. They all knew. I think even the kids knew.
By the best we could reckon, it had been a month since death swept over our town. The rippers patrolled the streets and buildings constantly, searching for survivors to kill in the beginning. They also destroyed any cache of food or weapons they came across.
There was a deeper intelligence behind the rippers. They were vicious and animalistic when encountered, but they would carry out complicated tasks relentlessly, like soldiers receiving orders. It had to be the malicious influence of the Restless One speaking to all of them, like they were the claws at the end of his corrupting grasp.
It was Jil that had the idea for the feed bags at the General Store. Yes, they were for cows and horses, but they had been magically enhanced and would give the human body what it needed also.
It would give us enough strength to try and escape this Divine forsaken town, and hopefully leave the darkness to flee to the safety of the Capitol.
I knew the thought of making it all the way to the Capitol was ridiculous. The longer we headed east, the more likely we ran into the army of rippers that left the town at least two days ago.
It had been hundreds of them! Me and Jil were out scouting the General Store for the feed bags we had just now retrieved.
The going was slow, because the enemy was everywhere. But we knew how to maneuver from rooftop to closely packed rooftop. And the grew closer togeher the closer we got to the center of the town.
From where we started, the watermill in the outskirts of town, it seemed like the town was suspiciously empty of the monsters. But we soon realized that was the opposite. We didn't see any Rippers on the outskirts because they were all gathering together in the town square
The bright figures of humanoid shaped demons clustered together in a giant group. The magical vision of the monocle causing them to glow from whatever evil sorcery created them. So many of them huddling together created a glowing sea, flooding the courtyard.
Rippers were rumored to have always existed. Even before The Restless One returned. But they were rare and only inhabited places of great tragedy and a history of dark magic. Now there was an army of them, amassing to March East towards The Capitol.
Some said The Rippers were phantoms created by The Restless One. They were his only way to reach through dimensions and torment the living.
More scholarly Old-timers theorized the Rippers came from the vengeful spirits of the long extinct elves, hunted to extinction by Man a millennium ago.
Ancient texts mention the long extinct Legacy Elves had a bad habit of dabbling in dark magic, causing The Restless One to specifically target them, repeatedly using the elves innate affinity with magic to breach into our reality to cause havoc.
Many believe Man's genocide against the elves was not entirely warranted, it had help seal The Restless One away. But not all elves worshipped the Restless One. Many of them worshiped Her Divine like we humans do. But relations between elves and humans had always been strained, and this was the excuse humans needed to eliminate their rival for dominance over the lands, once and for all.
"Why must we be punished?" I remembered Tehama asking when all this first happened, back whe. She was alive.
"It's not our fault! It's the fault of our long dead ancestors! The kingdom that commited the atrocity doesn't even exist anymore!" Tehama said in a fit of nervous mania.
We had to hush her for getting too loud. But the truth is, we had no answer. There was no clear reason why we were all being subjected to such anguish.
Like I said, Tehama didn't make it anyways. On a supply run she had grabbed a doll from her old home to bring to Mama Denise and her two girls, but had dropped it in the street when Jil spotted a group of Rippers scaling the rooftops a block away.
We all scrambled to hide, hoping the Ripper patrol moved along. But they spotted the dolly laying in the dirt. And some sort of supernatural intelligence recognized this wasn't here on their last patrol. They knew humans were moving around.
The five of the Rippers in the patrol circled the doll, all letting out a high pitched squeals, like an alarm calling to others.
Me and Jil hid in a nasty bale of hay next to a gutted horse laying beside it, hopefully masking our scent. Our terror rose as we watched more and more Rippers coming out of the shadows. They slid down buildings, out of doorways, from under debris, and they all were all screaming, almost deafening to us.
There were three magical monocle's during this time. All of us had one. And we could all see the count of Rippers going into the hundreds!
They would find us! By flooding every corner of the street, they would come across us eventually!
That's when Tehama made her decision. I didn't see exactly where she hid, but she wasn't hiding anymore. She broke cover and ran directly into the streets, into the crowd of monsters. She tossed her monocle behind her towards our direction, maybe for us to recover later.
Of course they glowed brightly through the monocle, but to the naked eye they were an inky black. A black blacker than their surroundings, making it almost impossible to see them.
When the Rippers got close to their chosen victim, they allowed their prey to see their shiny silver teeth.
The sharp protruding teeth stand out bright and glistening, almost like silver, against the backdrop of darkness. as they moved in to kill the hapless human.
This is all Tehama saw as she dropped to his knees and searched blindly for the dropped dolly. She screamed and cried as the teeth sank into her tearing off little bits of her flesh.
The Rippers began to whoop and laugh like hyenas as they snatched piece by peice of her away. From the little I knew, the Rippers didn't need to eat. They just bit her for the joyful cruelness of it.
Blood soaked, mostly skinless hands of poor Tehama found the dolly that had started all of this horror. She hugged it close to her skinless chest and let out a gurgling scream before tipping over, most likely dead from shock.
That very second! That truly horrid moment! I decided I wasn't going to die in this town. I wasn't going to "wait it out" like all the old-timers advised. They are all dead now anyways! They didn't wait it out.
The King's armies hadn't made it in time. No fireballs from battlemages to shatter the darkness, no royal purple knights lead by The Heroic Prince Julian, no salvation from Her Divine!
If we waited we would all die in the dark. No doubt the King was coming with his armies, but how many days, or years will it take to Him to reach our settlement?
No, I would not die here. I had promised myself this years ago! I would survive like I had also promised! I would save Jil the way she saved me!
Then the army of rippers moved out East towards the Capitol. But there were still wicked things left behind to kill us. But this was our best chance!
As I sat in the darkness of the attic my mind was free to visualize in wonderful colorful detail my last memories before the Restless One tainted our town with its sightless void.
I remembered walking through the town, going towards the training academy. I was going to climb the mountain behind it. I was going to climb it again and again until I graduated and became one of the Royal Warden's Squires. The academy started soon and I never made it to the top without resting and without dropping my pack.
This is why I was one of the first to see our oncoming doom. The inky blackness spilled out from around the mountain to flood towards the town.
I knew I had to run and give warning to the town's guard. I wasn't a Warden's Squire yet, but I still had a duty to protect the people.
Tears heated up my cheeks as I sat in the dark, greatfull Jil and the others couldn't see me crying, as I remembered the death that followed.
But one of my last memories gave me the tiniest blink of hope. I remembered the peak of the mountain stabbing through the blackness. The mountain was tall enough to escape the flood of hell filling the valleys and town around it.
There was a ceremonial watchtower at the top of the mountain, filled with supplies. It's where the academy cadets earned their badges and completed their training. The mountain was the last test to becoming a Warden's Squire. A grueling uphill climb with a nickname given to the mountain by past cadets that like to boast over their hard earned accomplishments.
The mountain was affectionately called Mt. Despair, and it would be our salvation.
Part 2 https://www.reddit.com/Ceslystories/comments/11q7xcw/despairs_peak_part_2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Part 3: https://www.reddit.com/Ceslystories/comments/11ziluk/despairs_peak_part_3/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Part 4: https://www.reddit.com/Ceslystories/comments/12916odespairs_peak_4_finale/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Original post https://www.reddit.com/Divorce/comments/1276501/found_out_wife_49_is_having_an_affair_and_afte?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
Background: I (56) discovered wife (49) sleeping with her friend Katie’s ex husband. I have TS and ASD so very socially awkward. First was my first and only when I was 25. No kids - wife can’t. Before I found out about affair my wife disclosed embarrassing story about me to friends thinking it was cute story. Story about me being virgin at 25. Some of her friends bring it up. Finally I snapped and tossed guy out of brew pub. Wife freaked. Therapist said I’m depressed. ASD permits me to process emotions quickly or no emotions. Decided to divorce. I have pre nup - she gets 250k because I have some money.
Update: I spoke to wife today, first time since she was served. She is with SIL. She expressed remorse and asked about reconciliation. I said relationship over. She suggested a one way open relationship, just me open. That’s like giving a fish a hang glider. I don’t pick up social cues and am very introverted. Women not lining up to get with me which is understandable. Not my thing anyways so no thank you. She gave me a timeline of the affair. I don’t understand why. Apparently she didn’t sleep with Katie’s ex until after their divorce (good for Katie). Apparently one of the other friends did. These people need to move away from the shallow end of the gene pool. She signed what ever divorce papers needed to be signed and agreed not to challenge pre nup. Asked if she could tell me something now that she has no monitory incentive to lie. Okay. And that’s when my little story turned. I thought she couldn’t have kid due to an earlier abortion. I was told the abortion happened 2 months before we met. She said that because she was embarrassed. There was no abortion - she was severely sexually assaulted when she was 15 - severely. How severe? He died in prison but if he hadn’t he still would be in jail because he was a serial rapist. I knew she was in the hospital for months at that age from her family stories. She been in therapy for the entire time I’ve known her. An awful lot of holes in her life story get filled in quickly by this. My sister (lawyer) confirmed there is a sealed record/report in connection to my wife that fits the timeline and would be indicative of the same. She has an older mentor (Connie) she would see a couple times a year. I could never understand the mentorship because my wife doesn’t work and Connie retired a couple years ago as the director of a SA victim support organization. I think you can guess why. At this point my head is spinning because when Connie retired guess who became the new Director - Katie. It turns out that Katie and my wife were in the group together - that how they met. That’s the same way all of my wife’s female friends met - they were all in the support group together or met through the support group. The worst part - now every odd or inconsistent thing about that group makes sense. SIL confirmed as did Katie. Sister confirmed that every female in that group either has a sealed file or is listed as a victim of SA if publicly available. I asked why didn’t you tell me - she didn’t want me to think she was damaged. Therapist said she thinks wife had affair hoping to get caught to sabotage marriage because she couldn’t have children. So here I am. Now what. I asked my sister what d would she do - her response was it only matters what you would do. This is my life. This shit show is my life…

Saliva magic abounds in primitive folklore. Man has used his spit to charm everything from the corn crop to his sweetheart, but the earliest record I hove found of the use of tobacco for magical purposes occurs in Thomas Hariot's "A brief and true report of the new found land of Virginia" (London, 1588).
Hariot was a mathematician, surveyor, end linguist attached to sir Walter Raleigh's first Roanoke Island colony. His book, devoted to the fauna, flora, and inhabitants of the new world, describes as follows the native uppowoc, or tobacco.
"This Uppowoc is of so precious estimation amongest them, that they think their gods are marvelously delighted therewith: Whereupon sometime they make hollowed fires and cast some of the pouder therein for a sacrifice: being in a storm upon the waters, to pacifie their gods, they cast some up into the aire and into the water: so weare for fish being newly set up, they cast some therein and into the aire: also after an escape of danger, they cast some into the aire likewise: but all done with strange gestures, stomping, sometime dancing, clapping of hands, holding up of hands and staring up into the heavens, uttering therewithal and chattering strange words and noises.
Source: NC Folklore. December 1962.

First/Prev
The first explosion came an hour before dawn.
It was the right time for an attack; everybody knew that. The guards are tired, most people are asleep, and those who hear something suspicious but aren't close enough to know it's an attack will find any excuse for a few more minutes' sleep. The attackers are wired up and ready, their eyes used to the dark, while anyone who was sitting around the fire will be night-blind.
This was common wisdom to the San, something they assumed everybody knew, but it may well have been thousands of years since the Sovereign Residence on Noepe saw attack. Those who saw the explosion still didn't see the attack—that had begun half an hour before.
Three groups had crept carefully through the grounds, taking advantage of the cover. A few irritating sling stones from a building across the plaza had gotten the larger animals up and roaring, batting at the bars of their cages to call attention and cover sounds, and from the sides the groups came in.
Showers of spears and slingstones took care of the guards, slingstones dealt with the sensors, and the San flowed over the wall as silently as they could manage. The guards were alert as they could be, but the San and the Kel both had hunted the forests and the mountains of home, hunted among hyenas and lions and wolves that hunted back, hunted the chamois and the ibex that could hear a misplaced foot with ease.
By the time a volley of laser fire dealt with the gate guards and knocked many off the walls, the invasion was already well under way and the guards knew it. Two of the groups—about three dozen each, one lead by Logog and one by Barab, circled the grounds, with slingers breaking every sensor they could find. A massive sortie from the building itself flowed into the courtyard, and after a single volley of spears the attackers retreated. Given the chance they might have been able to ambush the defenders, but there were too many, and they were not foolish. They kept their ranks together, rifles ready, and when a spear flew from the dark a dozen rifles centered on its source and three dozen more peppered laser fire all around it. The costs were heavy, especially since they brought no dogs. As lights came on they went out again, smashed by stones, but when the sun came up in the West the warriors retreated, four groups of thirty slipping back over the walls as other soldiers rushed to man them, getting clear before the air vehicles could get overhead and spot them. Explosions rocked the air, and other eggs fell inside the walls and short of them, spewing smoke and chaff.
At the walls, the battle did not go well. Some dozen of the San were killed and three or four times that many wounded, and aside from those picked off the walls the defenders suffered nothing. The gate guards were not all killed, and they managed to close the gate well before the San could run the gauntlet of plasma bolters and Klokin guns to reach it. The shields protecting the walls held up easily under barrages of exploding eggs, and before long the San retreated, then scattered, fleeing a thousand different directions into a thousand different areas of the city. Three or four dozen were seen immediately after in bars or restaurants, but the rest were quietly moving North, out of the city by a hundred different methods. Some even took trains back to Shangshen, where they could pick up the vehicles just in case.
Nobody really noticed the two dozen men and women who found their way in through a maintenance door.
The soldiers weren't truly so careless as to leave one open. The poor maintenance worker who opened it for them was now soundly tied and gagged. Higa had wanted to leave the woman there, but Mogan had let her see his spare knife, set it on one side of the storage room, and then carried her gently to the other side. She would be able to wiggle back to his knife and cut herself loose, but by the time she did they would be finished and dead or finished and gone.
Half of them brought pistols, including Mogan, but hoped not to use them. The 'pop' of expanding steam and burning impurities would be an instant giveaway that something was wrong, much less the sound of whatever a laser hit, and so they each walked with a spear nocked, eyes constantly moving.
Ellisan used her wristpad to map where they had been, but that didn't precisely tell them where they were going, and the moved slowly.
“Use your noses,” Mogan whispered. “This is a luxury place, yes?”
The walls were testament to that, covered in precious metals, beautiful woods and stones, with paintings and decorations. It seemed each room had a floor in a different style of wood or stone, and soft light kept everything illuminated.
“If we find where the food is cooked, where she eats it won't be far. They won't risk the food getting cool or warm from distance, right? Food and cleaning chemicals.”
It wasn't a bad idea, but that wasn't how they found the Governess. Two guards came around a corner, and whipped up their rifles, but it was too late. One of them managed an ineffectual shot into the floor before four spears hit him; the other didn't even get that before four slammed through him.
Even so, one shot was more noise than they wanted, and everybody froze, listening. Ellisan's eyes brightened, and she whispered.
“Wind.”
Nobody spoke—perhaps straining to hear it themselves, perhaps waiting for her to explain.
“I hear it—wind going through... not branches—columns or rails, I guess.”
Mogan nodded. “Balconies.”
“Someplace you could look out at all your subjects,” Higa agreed.
“Maybe,” Mogan said, but it was all they had, and so they decided on going up. Someone suggested that after the attack Governess Shenya would be buried somewhere, in the most fortified part of the building, but Mogan knew better. They were rabble—anybody who didn't have a higher station than her was—and Shenya would not move for rabble, no matter the wisdom or necessity.
From what they could see the building was six stories high—presumably if they found stairs or a ramp it would go all the way up, but they had to find it first, and so they got moving again.
When they finally found the stairs, they found the second story even more opulent than the first. Mogan was certain that the walls of entire rooms were coated in precious metals, and one window big enough for him to stand up in was filled not with glass but entirely with gemstones.
It seemed that the second floor was better guarded, but Mogan presumed that there just weren't as many maintenance areas that didn't need so many guards. Whatever the reason or the implications, one guard managed a shout before whistling spears silenced him, and three more guards sprinted down the hallway into an ambush. It was more luck than they had a right to, and Mogan couldn't help thinking it could not last forever. He was right.
After the next three guards were downed and their rifles appropriated, there were a few tense moments of silence. The bodies downstairs had been stashed behind furniture, but there was no time to properly hide them, nor to clean up the bloodstains, and they couldn't go much longer before they were found. Worse, they didn't see any visual devices but had no idea what might be seeing them.
The San advanced, appropriating the guards' rifles as they searched for another stairway leading upwards. They snuck past walls entirely lined with exotic furs, displays of animal teeth and walls made of thin strips of tusk, others coated with material that looked like the inside of a clamshell. They saw no other guards, and Mogan found himself shaking his head. It made no sense.
And then, quite suddenly, it made perfect sense. Two walls slid almost instantly into the ceiling, revealing two dozen men and women with leveled laser rifles on each side. The officer, blue uniform decorated with gold braid and pistol in hand, smiled widely.
“You were looking for the governess, yes? Well, put down your weapons and we'll take you to her!”
The pistol leveled at Mogan's head. “Now, please.”
Two dozen warriors of the San walked up the staircase. They were disarmed and surrounded, but couldn't help feeling slightly amused. Walking up four flights of stairs had barely changed their breathing, while the Sylfa guarding them needed to catch their breath.
Mogan had muttered to them to keep quiet, and to wait for his signal. He suspected that a few of them had managed to hide weapons, even if just a knife or two, and now was not the time for them. If he remembered Shenya rightly, they were indeed being taken to her. There were few things that Shenya did well, but she knew how to hate. That, she was quite good at, and from what Mogan had seen here on Noepe the years had not brought her kindness. He would just have to hope they hadn't brought her wisdom either.
Mogan walked a little ahead, keeping the pace up, as they walked past yet more disgusting opulence. Holos coated these walls, and between them occasional sculptures of actual paintings. There was no rhythm to what would be next, and Mogan realized that the sculptures and paintings had been made when holos were still available,simply to use the style. Nonetheless, the story they told was impressive.
The first showed Noepe as it doubtless was when first discovered, with desert and thin forest, and heavy ice-caps. There was not as much ice on Noepe as he had seen in the orbit of his home planet, but quite a bit more than there was currently.
Various works showed the efforts taken to change the planet. Machines were set to deliberately warm the air, causing the ice to retreat as resorts were built at the oceans. When the water began to rise, ships simply carried it off planet. Soil was treated where plains were wanted so that forests could not grow, water pumped into the deserts, the thinner trees replaced with others from different planets.
The first governor—or perhaps the Sovereign at the time--was represented in different styles, gesturing imperiously as forests were cleared simply to replant them. There were hunts, then massive hunts where soldiers shot animals by the hundreds and left them to rot, before other creatures were introduced. Machines were made to scour the seas for dangerous fish or those that interfered with the best sport.
The poachers were represented as well, ragged and dirty men and women dragging down noble-looking creatures and tearing at them. One rather well-painted hanging depicted a battle, where men and women charged, brandishing their own fingernails, at phalanxes of disciplined gunners. The painting was ancient, quite possibly older than anything in the Moon Lake cave, but clearly Shenya's treatment of those who would kill the game reserved to the Sovereign was not entirely unique.
More opulent hunts followed, at least one of which featured a hunter, likely the Sovereign himself, at the aiming reticule of a plasma bolter, killing beasts that looked like those Mogan had seen on New Klon but twice as large.
There were two rebellions and three revolts featured in these murals. In each, the rebels were dirty and ragged, and when warfare was depicted it was always ragged mobs of rebels versus disciplined blocks of Sylfa. Even those in the trees were somehow all side-by-side in neat rows. The only time the enemies of the Sovereignty appeared in neat rows was in executions, and there were many of those.
They also, he noticed, had no Sylfa. Most of the poachers he had met were Sylfa, but all of the poachers, the rebels, and the revolters were entirely Anthata, Shawing, Mantu, and some of the other more common species.
There was little or no time to observe details, as the small group swept up the wide hallways into a spacious room. There were six columns, but Mogan suspected they were less from necessity and more to give the room the open-forest feel popular among Sylfa. The ceiling was high enough that a Mantu probably could not touch it, and they were greeted by the sound of a shoshir sliding from its scabbard.
Mogan knew the sound. For that matter, he knew the shoshir. He knew the woman as well.
The years may not have granted Shenya El' Esh wisdom or kindness, but they had certainly granted her beauty. She had been a stunning young woman when he saw her before, some sixteen years ago, but she had grown, rounded in all the right places. Sylfa tended to be thinner than humans, and she still was—except for her chest, where surgery had been involved—but the curves were undeniable. He heard more than one of those behind him gasp.
“I am going to kill each and every one of you.” She pointed the shoshir at Mogan. The L-shaped handle fit the two hands on her right side easily, and it didn't tremble. Mogan knew the blade well. Long ago, he had taken it from the assassin Fhlynn and had it given to her, but she had hated him before that. She had held him in contempt from the first moment she saw him, but when Fhlynn said something mocking and pointed at him, she had turned to look. Mogan had seen the man's other hands, one covering her drink from her view, the other pouring something from a small vial into it. She had likely hated him from the moment he knocked over the drink, spilling it across the table and her clothes.
“Surely you've had time to replace that dress by now, Shenya.”
“It's not about the dress, Mogan. It's not even about Ellisan, although you know she's illegal. And the one with the scar on his chin and the burn over his eye, that must be Higa—I just might send your head back to Burjit.”
She smirked as they stared. Ellisan mouthed a word, a name, but Mogan put it aside. That was something he didn't want to deal with at the moment.”
“You know I was saving your life that day.”
“Don't lie to me, Mogan. It's really not a good look for your last moments.”
“Fhlynn was an assassin, Ellisan. That's why he came here after me. He chased us a long way and we got away from him, and then I chased him, and he didn't do so well.”
“Enough of that!” Her beautiful lips twisted in a snarl. “Where is Shett?”
“Yil Shett? I don't know, but I'd like to see him again.”
“I told you not to lie to me, animal. I know that traitor has had it in for me, and ever since he defected I've been plagued with one problem after another! I want to know where he is, so I can send him the holos. He humiliated me when he had the power and I didn't, but that's not how it is anymore!”
“What did he do, Shenya, turn you down? I thought your hips had a little extra wiggle in them when you brought his drink.....”
That had been sixteen years ago, and he truly did suspect it, but he didn't expect it to hit a nerve so well. Shenya stabbed the end of the shoshir into the floor, probably damaging something priceless while she was at it.
“How dare you!? Do you not understand your life is in my hands!? I control the Sovereignty—me! I would let you escape, just so I could watch billions of soldiers hunt you down, if I didn't want the pleasure of killing you myself.”
A tiny bit of spittle flew from her mouth as she shouted, and her face had turned a shade of dark blue that was a little bit alarming.
“I have the power now! Me! You took my man away from me, but now you're in my hands, and I'm going to take everything away from you, including that half-animal!”
Mogan's hands tightened as if he could feel her throat in them, but with a great effort he kept his voice calm. “Your man was weak, Shenya. Do you think you're the Sovereign himself?”
“Even better!” Mogan was pretty sure he saw the shoshir sink a little into the floor as she leaned on it. “Fhlynn wasn't good enough for what I wanted, but the Sovereign is! And he does what I say! When I say you're an enemy of the entire Sovereignty, it happens!”
All four hands rested on the hilt and she leaned forward. It was nice for the view, but every muscle was tense as she snarled. “I spoke, and I leaned against his arm, and I had all the information about you that anybody knew. I spoke, and I just trailed my hands across his shoulders, and Shirfa was named a hero of the Sovereignty! I spoke, and I wiggled my ass in some stupid lacy thing he likes, and the reports naming your species non-sapient were given the Sovereign seal of approval—disputing a single word of it used to mean pissing off a Yil, but now it's an instant death sentence to even look for evidence against it--all the efforts of those idiots Hyeshi and Schlo trying to change it were wasted!”
Mogan grunted, but she was grinning now. At least, her mouth formed a parody of a smile, while her eyes burned with hate. “I want you to know it before you die, Mogan! I made it happen! I spoke, and I touched him, and no university in the Sovereignty would publish from either of them! I spoke, and I put my mouth on him, and your whore was abandoned on some worthless wilderness planet that won't see another sapient being for another hundred---”
She was already screaming, or almost, but now her scream turned into something shocked and stuttering as Mogan extended his left hand.
Some of the warriors of the San had seen him do this once before. They had believed that he commanded lightning itself, and it had helped to cement his reputation as one blessed by the spirits. Now they knew that the hand was mechanical, and they could assume that the bolt of electricity that shot from it was also mechanical, but it was no less impressive.
The Animal Person that he had struck nearly a decade ago had literally flown several yards back. One of the assassins here on Noepe, some sixteen years ago, had been knocked down. Shenya didn't, perhaps because the sword stabbed into the floor was an anchor. All four hands clamped down on the handle and electricity crackled and sparked all along the long, flowing blade of gold-titanium alloy as she convulsed, smoke rising from her hands and from her face as her hair smoked, and then a moment later she did leave the ground, landing in a heap some three or four meters away.
An ugly death, but an excellent signal. There was a beep that Mogan recognized, and then Higa threw one of Burjit's eggs. Two others had managed to hide knives before they were seen—and the rest had to go unarmed.
They were not defenseless in this. Everyone wrestled as a youngster, learning how to manage their weight and the weight of another, and while matches weren't supposed to cause harm beyond an occasional bruise, it was easy to tell how things could be worse.
In truth, the Sylfa had it easier than some others. One man simply grabbed a soldier by the waist, lifted him off his feet, and dropped him. Against a human, this was a good way to break a hip or back and perhaps start a blood feud, but the Sylfa simply didn't fall. It made sense that a species conditioned for climbing couldn't simply be dropped and instead held easily to his attacker, but the man was shot twice before he could react. He fell forward, whether by design in his last moments or by lucky accident, pinning the thinner Sylfa beneath his corpse.
Another threw a Sylfa with a rolling hiplock, and a third stomped on the soldier's head as he landed, while a fourth grabbed his rifle.
Higa's explosive went off. Mogan didn't know whether he'd intended to be sure of Shenya or not, but he could see her body twitch as shrapnel struck it, and half a dozen soldiers fell.
Mogan himself was never truly unarmed. Another bolt of electricity struck a soldier who was trying to take aim, and then he slammed a fist harder than steel into a blue-green face. Blood flowed as the guard staggered back, his face a cratered ruin, and then lasers flew as Ellisan grabbed the man's rifle and fired it as fast as she could. Not every shot hit, not even most, but some did.
But Ellisan wasn't the only one firing. As skilled as the San might have been, they were outnumbered two to one, and they were unarmed, and nobody fights a battle like that without taking losses. Half a dozen men fell in the first few seconds, and perhaps half-again that many of the soldiers, while the others sought cover behind couches and overturned tables.
“Cover!” Higa threw one more egg, then found something to duck behind himself. Alarms began to sound, and he made two hand gestures, hunting signals that were often used so that they wouldn't alert game. One indicated he was out of ammunition, another that they needed to pull back. Lasers flashed back and forth as the San backed up with stolen rifles, and Ellisan, bless her, managed to grab one of the bags that had held their own confiscated weapons.
When they reached the doors and took stock, the results of their battle weren't pretty. Everyone was wounded to some degree, and of the twenty-five people who went into that room only eleven made it out. It was a note of sick humor that at least now the bag Ellisan had grabbed had enough weapons for everyone.
“We're not going to fight our way down, Mogan.” Higa panted, holding his side. He hissed as Mogan sprayed in the sealant. “This was a good day, my friend.”
“And it's not done yet. We're not going down. There will be flyers on the roof, and Ellisan can fly anything.”
Ellisan was trying not to scream, holding the cauterized stump where her lower left hand once was. “And then where?”
“....I don't know.”

I'm using H&R Block for filing all my returns. I finished filling out the forms, but my state returns indicate that I owe $260 to NJ and $270 to NY. I'm trying to figure out if I made some sort of mistake. I did already file my federal tax return, which might have been a mistake.
H&R Block won't even let me file the state returns, even though the program stated that there were no issues with what I entered in for each of the state forms. I think I must have made some sort of mistake somewhere.
For one, the tax software states that I reported that an individual in my household did not have healthcare over the entire year. I don't think I reported that, and if I reported that in my federal return, I might not be able to change it. But I am the only member of my tax household (I did live with my parents when I was living in Jersey, but I have no dependents-- so I believe that means I am the only member of my household) and I indicated on my federal return that I was covered for the full year, in accordance with my 1095-B.
So I moved to NYC on April 1st of 2022. My total income for the year as reported on my W-2 is 74,932. If I multiply that total by 1/4 (3/12 for the 3 months I lived in Jersey), it comes out to $18,733. However, if I add up the net pay from my paystubs from the beginning of the year up until April 1st, I come out to 12,956.17.
I also have a small amount of interest income from a savings account, which totals to $440. I run into a similar issue. If I add up the interest earned up to the month of Aril (according to my bank statement), it comes out to $46.48. On the other hand, if I take the total and multiply by 1/4 , it comes out to $110.
I'm even more confused about how to do things for my NY return, because it also requires a separate return for NYC. I feel like I'm overpaying by a lot in both states. I think the main problem is maybe that I just need to add a tax credit indicating taxes paid to the other state, but I am a bit confused as to how to do that/how much to claim.

I've gotten the idea to start cataloguing the animals and other creatures of Nirn and how they interact with the people of Nirn and each other, where they live, and whatever else I can think of. To start I decided on the beings which may or may not exist and the creatures that have gone extinct for one reason or another.
Although the Elder Scrolls is a fantasy world filled with fantastical beings it still has it's own share of mythological creatures that are the subject of myth and story in-universe. That's originally all this list was going to be about but I figured that I would also include creatures that once for sure existed but are now extinct (as of the latest point in the timeline) to buff up the list. I'll separate the two groups for the post. Also I won't be mentioning extinct sapient species such as Kothringi or lefthanded elves.
This is all taken from official sources so if you would like a source on any of these feel free to ask.
​

MYTHOLOGICAL

Sphinx
The Sphinx is a creature found in Khajiiti religion. It tends to be depicted as a mixture of Feline and Man. The Khajiiti goddess Khenarthi is depicted as a type of Sphinx and guides the souls of the departed to the Khajiit afterlife. There is at least one temple devoted to the Sphinx.
Rhinoceroses
Rhinos are apparently more legendary than even Unicorns. As in our world, they possess two horns.
Phoenixes
Phoenix are fiery avian creatures. Both the Altmer and Bretons have mention of phoenixes in their stories. Bretons have named a species of moth after them. The magical school of restoration also uses a phoenix as it's symbol.
Mermaids
Possessing the upper body of a woman and the lower body of a fish or aquatic mammal, these beings are found in Imperial and Redguard Tales and depictions. The Imperial city of Anvil hosts an ancient statue of a mermaid with unknown origins and the city of New Sheoth in the Shivering Isles has a fountain depicting them.
Kobolds
These creatures are only ever mentioned in an insult line of quest dialogue in TES: ARENA.
Ithguleoir
A sea monster feared by sailors of High Rock that may or may not exist. Said to prowl the waters from the city of Northpoint to the waters off of Glenumbra. It is supposedly large enough to create channels and sandbanks it uses to destroy ships and feast on the crew.
Gnomes
Gnomes are mentioned in songs and the term exists in Tamrielic vernacular with people calling others "gnomish" more than once.
Cockatrice
An egg laying creature from Aetherius. Not sure I would call this one canon or not as it's only mentioned in the Arena guide and some roleplaying posts from Ted Peterson. If it was just the posts I wouldn't include it at all but the guide is enough for me to do so.
Balrogs
Decided to include this one for posterity. It's probably for sure never appearing again in any game as it's pretty exclusive to LOTR. It's only mention is an Arena quest for delivering a "balrog hide."
Sand Whales
Only found in the drug induced ramnblings of a nord alchemist who believes they inhabit Elsweyr.
Snow Whales
Spoken of by the aforementioned alchemist except she believes they inhabit Skyrim instead of Elsweyr.
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EXTINCT

Wraxu Birds
A mammoth sized carnivorous and flightless bird native to Black Marsh. Killed off due to actions in the Blackwater War.
Topal Bat Lizards
Large flying creatures that were reportedly encountered by Topal the pilot and his crew off the coast of ancient Morrowind. Possibly some ancestor of modern day cliff racers.
Cliff Striders
A cousin of the cliff racer, it was not able to maintain sustained flight and preferred to glide from cliff to cliff where it nested. They acted similarly to their cousins. The species was wiped out by the ash blight at some point after Dagoth-Ur awakened.
Satyrs
Satyrs were once inhabitants of Valenwood. The only thing known about them as of now is that they were wiped out by the Aldmer.
Vvardvarks
The accidental creation of a Telvanni wizard who wanted to create a tamed predator. Primarily feeds on insects. The Dunmer had various uses for the animals. Their tongues were used as elastic bands and their shells shaped into armor. Despite being a magical creation, the species was bred into multiple types. However, they all perished in the ash blight, rendering the Vvardvark extinct.
Oddoaks
Shape shifting creatures that were slain by the Bosmer in ancient times. Apparently by the command of Y'free himself.
Nix-oxen
Six-legged flea like herbivorous animals used as mounts by Dunmer. About the size of a bovine. The carapaces of butchered nix-oxen are harvested. They are used for farm work and are tamed in a similiar manner to silt striders. Like many species in the area nix-oxen were killed off when Dagoth-Ur unleashed the ash blight on Vvardenfell.
Musk Oxen
A large species of ox native to The Reach. At one time it's horns were used by Reachmen for producing war horns.
Black Marsh Swamp Wolves
A species of wolf with noticeably long legs that once inhabited the swamps of Black Marsh. The species died off due to actions taken during the blackwater war.
Emperor Crabs
A gargantuan species of crab that died out in the ancient past. The shell of one crab, Skar, became part of the city of Ald'ruhn.
Isgareth bees
A species of bee native to the Summerset Isles that went extinct in the first era possibly due to the belief it's honey granted immortality upon consumption. Some believe that the bees are not actually extinct and that Altmer royalty still have their own hives in private.
Illyadi
A type of giant with eyes that covered their whole heads. Native to Summerset and wiped out by the Aldmer.
Hydras
Creatures that once were native to the forests of Valenwood. Said to possess more than one head. Killed off by the Aldmer.
Hippogriffs
Another species native to Valenwood and next in line to be obliterated by the Aldmer.
Gooblets
A flightless bird once native to Hammerfell. Their feathers were worn by Redguard priests of Onsi. Extinct as of 1E 808.
Gheatus
A species of fae that was found on Summerset. They took the form of men formed of earth. Extinct.
Basilisk
Snake creatures of some description that inhabited Valenwood. The Aldmer, being the true believers of living in harmony with nature as they were rendered them extinct.
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That's what I could find from my research. Hopefully you learned something and let me know if you think of something I missed.
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The name matches, too. 😂

The following is an adaptation and expansion of a reply I added to the earlier thread on “Was RA interviewed/on LE’s radar in 2017?”
Btw, before I share the below, I’m thinking about the November article Skeeter shared that included the sentence, “[RA] is refusing to cooperate with the investigation.”
There was discussion of how maybe that article was a product of initial/less-than-stellar reporting, but it’s also puzzling to think about, and how it sounded like RA gave a lot of answers in October 2022, totally goofed on consideration when to just say, “Lawyer”, maybe seemingly stopped, and stopped talking, and then took WEEKS AND WEEKS to submit his plea for a public defender, even given a ~2ish week period before he was arrested.
Had he never watched Law & Order, or had someone in his life who got busted for something tell him, “Yeah, don’t talk to cops, and then only do so when you have a lawyer.”
That’s like, teenage-level common sense, and RA was in his mid 40s.
As I think about RA’s story again for the 78th time, what I think has gone maybe a little under-explained and under-considered thus far is how RA has explained where for he was “on the trails” for ALL OF THAT TIME, from ~2:15 pm to ~5:00 pm.
Generally, I think one is going to remember and be able to recount a lot of what happened on a “memorable” day. In this case, it’s the day in my town where two (2) teen girls went missing and were found murdered the next day, and I was on the public trails where they disappeared from.
In the set up for Season 1 of Serial, Sarah Koenig asks, “Do you really remember what you were doing on a specified ordinary day?”
This case is entirely different, because it turned out to NOT be an ordinary day.
This day was more in the direction of “I remember where I was and what I was doing during 9/11, the Challenger explosion, JFK’s assassination, etc.
I remember everything about that day and what I was doing when, and I even told a conservation officer about it like, really soon after.
Above all, I can definitively tell you what I was doing, thinking, feeling, eating, drinking, relieving myself, masturbating, driving, playing a video game, looking at porn on my phone, etc. WHEN I WAS NOT MURDERING THEM between ~2:20 and ~4:30 p.m.
Also, I kinda think that these days, if someone didn’t do it, it’s gonna be easy to prove they didn’t do it, eg person-vouched alibi, login/phone/computer location data somewhere, or, if they don’t have data for you, maybe they can get data from the device of someone you were with or near, like, “yeah, I went home, and you can check FindMy against KA’s iPad in my house.”
Additionally, there’s been sorta zero elaboration on these weird Mad Libs explanations of what he was up to:
“Tell is about those stocks, dude. What happened? What were you watching? What were the headlines? What led you to watch ‘a stock ticker’ on your phone that day? What’s the deal with you and fish? Tell us about where you walked to and fro.”, etc
“Where were you chillin’ during that time? Show us approximately on Google Maps.”
What do other folks think about these general types of questions?

Part 1.
​
I scanned the various readouts in my HMD, consulting the optronics and passive sensing equipment that the suits carried. A nearby AWACs was currently datalinking a picture of the Ocean around us, showing nothing above the water in a twenty-mile radius.
That was good as being zapped on the way down was not only bad for one’s health, but it was really embarrassing. You never wanted to be the guy or gal who bought it before they even touched water.
I toggled my primary drag chute at 4000 feet AGL. I felt the crushing deceleration as it slowed my fall. At that time the Kansen deployed their chutes. They’d come in a bit slower than us both because of their lack of boosters and because they were a good deal tougher.
Again, it was better for the Sirens to be shooting at them than it was for them to be shooting at us.
At 2000 feet I cut the drag chute and turned on my boosters. Where the force from the chute felt crushing, I felt like a Rook Battleship was trying to squeeze me into my boots. If you didn’t slow down for impact that would actually be the case. I had a buddy in basic go out that way. DI’s had us sing “Blood on the Risers” every morning at formation after that as a sort of sick reminder to always use our boosters.
I hit the water like a rock but instead of punching down into it, the water dented like a trampoline and a wave radiated out from me. A trick of using rigging derived technology in these suits meant that what should, in hydrodynamic terms, be a three-ton brick, could pirouette on the water like a Ballerina. As a matter of course they actually had us perform dances on the water, just so that we could get used to the sheer absurdity of it.
Then they put us in a wave pool and cranked the swells up to maximum. Let me tell you, if you’ve never seen two soldiers perform a Viennese Waltz in lock-step, wearing about twenty million dollars worth of equipment, all the while in Sea State 5, you’re missing out on life.
“One down.” I reported.
“Two down.” Two said.
“Three down.” Three said.
We spread out, forming a rough perimeter while our Kansen landed, then headed out in the direction of the nearest wreckage.
We made bounding leaps in the suits, peaking above the visual horizon to get a quick look at the area before falling back down into the cover of the Earth’s curvature. AEW didn’t see anything other than the listing hulk of a Rook, but one couldn’t be too sure.
Two must’ve lingered too long on one of his jumps because the first warning I had that something was up was the MAW system screaming at me that there was a missile headed our way.
There was no missile. However, Two’s half-melted suit gave off enough IR to trip the system when combined with his downward trajectory.
He hit the water and sank like a stone.
“Fuck, Two bought it.” I swore then called up the datalink. The AWACs traced the thermal bloom back to the Rook.
I wasn’t feeling particularly charitable at that moment. I already lost a guy and the day had just started.
“Three, launch one fuser on my command, Four, Five, fire on that Rook and give that bitch something to shoot at.” I ordered quickly.
“Ma’am.” They all chorused, and the two cruisers began firing.
Their shells arched high before lasers zapped them. I didn’t expect the shells to get through, but they didn’t need to.
I slaved Three’s fire-control to my own and we each launched a single Linear fusion weapon.
They sped away, hugging the ocean at something like Mach 4. About thirty seconds later the AWACs registered two thermal spikes consistent with their detonation.
We advanced, not making any more jumps. Hopefully if the Kansen we shot at was still alive, she was currently bleeding out her eyes from acute radiation poisoning.
We crossed the visual horizon, missiles and railguns at the ready, trained on the now more smashed up remnants of the Siren Battleship.
“Four, Five, ready Sabots, prep for direct fire.” I ordered.
“Four.” “Five.” They each responded, a simple acknowledgement of the order.
To our right my Optronics caught a shock of movement as a shape rose from the water. A big bitch, an Oceana.
Four was on it faster than me. She readied her guns and let out a full salvo at the Siren.
Not all of them hit but they didn’t all need to.
When a ten kilo tungsten slug flies out at around Mach 5, it carries about the same energy as around three kilograms of TNT. When it hits a target that has impossibly hard skin, such is the case with a Kansen, instead of punching a neat hole in said target, all that kinetic energy is transferred to the internal organs. Multiply that by four or five Sabot rounds and the combined effect is what we generally term as a “pop”.
This Oceana was no exception and an expanding wave of neon yellow blood flew out from the target.
“Nice shooting four.” I said briskly.
“Y-yeah.” She said, looking unsure of herself.
Three moved over and scooped up the Wisdom Cube that was helpfully floating in the water and deposited the item into his dump pouch.
“You wanna check out the Rook?” He asked, voice a little shaky. Two’s death had evidently rattled him. Hell, it rattled me a little.
I considered the choice. Discretion was the better part of valor, and they could always use a traditional salvage team on the wreck.
“Nah. Five, pop a couple torps in it and let's head back. I’d rather not test our luck.” I said.
Five moved up and readied her torpedoes. She’d received them in an effort to give just about every Kansen some sort of ASW capability despite the ship she was based on never mounting torpedoes.
These were MK-35s. Ancient by our standards, cutting edge for Kansen to use. They had a useful role in both targeting surface ships and subs.
She rotated out her tubes and sent three fish on the way, running on gyroscope before the active sonars would ping on the Rook.
I turned just in time to see her top-half disappear.
“Lou!” Four cried.
I turned back towards the wreck, my thermals providing an immediate firing solution on the target.
I snapped off five rounds in quick succession while Three got six. We paused, letting our barrels cool.
“Four, get Five’s cube. Three, on me.” I ordered.
Four was sobbing and muttering “Lou. I’m sorry.” over and over again.
“Four, did you fucking hear me?” I asked, looking at the girl.
She was still frozen in place. At least she had Five’s cube, turning the bloody thing over in her hands. Shit they must’ve been sisters. Why the fuck did command think it was ever a good idea to assign ships of the same class together? All they did was freeze up when one bought it.
“FOUR WE’LL GET HER BACK! FOCUS ON THE GODDAMN MISSION!” I yelled.
She wasn’t responding. I didn’t have time for this.
“Three, follow me. I’m not pulling back if there’s a chance we’ll get zapped.” I ordered.
“Three.” He said.
We were too close to use fusion weapons on the thing and I wasn’t really feeling like trying to force a mentally unstable Kansen to do anything. I also wasn’t in the mood to put her down and just take her cube for later revival. That was generally frowned upon and I wanted to make Lieutenant by the end of the year. In such a case we had to go in and do this the old fashion way.
Five’s torps hit about then. I boosted up as the pillars of water began to fall and hit the deck near where I’d seen the bitch.
Three hit the deck next to me. We scanned the area and moved forward. The ship’s list began to reverse a little as it flooded.
I quickly found where we’d shot. Several neat holes punched in the face shield of a gun mount with massive, tearing exit wounds. A line of neon blood ran out and into the ship through an open hatch.
I looked in, thermals finding nothing, except the line of blood. It was a tight squeeze but I’d been in worse.
Taking my railgun in one hand, I wrenched the deck plating up, creating a bigger entrance. It was good they made their corridors for Oceanas, otherwise we’d just have to wait.
I went first, dropping down and moving forward. I didn’t bother to use external lights. There was no point in doing so. Three followed behind me as we traced the blood trail into the ship. It ended in what I knew was a small supply closet. No way in, no way out.
We’d trained on actual Siren ships that had been captured or pieced together from wreckage so we knew this place like the backs of our hands.
The tricky girl had used her laser to weld up the door. Maybe she was desperate, maybe she was hoping we’d try to bust it down and she’d get us in that event.
I wasn’t too keen on playing her game.
I designated a series of aim points for both Three and myself and opened up.
There was a very important distinction between concealment and cover and with railguns there wasn’t a whole lot that was actually cover.
After twenty shots my suit warned me about the barrel warping and I ejected the spent one and slotted in a fresh set of rails and continued firing.
We stopped and I ordered, “Gas GB.” and prepped a few Sarin grenades.
In the tight confines of a ship a low persistence nerve agent was a Godsend. Sirens didn’t usually wear much in the way of MOPP so if everyone was buttoned up it wasn’t too much of a risk while being very good at dealing with Kansen. When more resources were around the preferred method for dealing with a large ship was to pump it full of a mixture of mustard gas and a nerve agent. The mustard gas created boils and lesions on the skin of targets while the nerve agents killed them, getting into their system with the help of the mustard. It was a nasty little trick that Saddam, rot his guts, had come up with way back when.
Three did the same and we both sent a couple canisters into the room through some of the larger holes in the bulkhead. We waited a few minutes, not as long as I would’ve liked but between the rads, shrapnel, and the gas, I doubted any Kansen was doing too hot.
“Ready to breach.” I said and hovered my hand over the edge of the door.
Her welds, while being rushed, were actually pretty good in quality so I opted to target the hinge side of the door that she had neglected.
I punched in and pulled, ripping the door out of the wall and falling to the side of the bulkhead in the same movement, not exposing an inch of my suit.
Three chased the motion with a few grenades lobbed into the room which detonated in short order before he moved in himself.
I followed behind him and swore as I saw the neatly cut hole in the far bulkhead, an even thicker pool of neon blood leading through the far corridor.
Time to throw caution to the wind. I charged up and smashed through the bulkhead, coming out on the far side, rolling into a crouch, weapon aimed down the hallway in the direction of the stain.
I saw her, twitching there on the ground, mouth foaming.
“Sarin got the target.” I reported as Three followed me.
She’d been clever but just a bit too slow.
I moved up and put a slug through her head. I didn’t take pleasure in killing her or the other Sirens nor did I particularly enjoy seeing her suffer. It was just business. They killed us. We killed them. Sucked to be Two and Five, sucked to be her.
There were always a few recruits who joined up for revenge or whatnot, some even joined for high-minded ideals. Either they tempered or they dropped out. Command didn’t want people who would get emotional over this sort of thing. They wanted people who could just suck it up and get things done.
I pulled out a dissection kit and cut her open before reaching in and getting the cube.
The two of us left that sinking ship and after a quick spray to get rid of the Sarin, rejoined Four who, while no-longer in shock, looked positively miserable even with the helmet obscuring much of her face.
“You done?” I asked.
She nodded dully.
“Alright. This mission’s a bust, let's head home.” I said and toggled the pickup beacon.
Overall it hadn’t been the worst day. But it certainly hadn’t been the best.

Demographics: Asian Male, Small Magnet/Public School (NJ), High Income (400K+), no hooks :(
Intended Major(s): Public Policy + Econ (or polisci/government depending on the school).
ACT/SAT/SAT II: 1600 SAT yay
UW/W GPA and Rank: ~98/100 UW, ~103/100 W, ~Top 2.5% rank (3/170) but not reported
Coursework:
AP Chem - 5, APUSH - 5, AP U.S. Gov - 5, AP World History - 5, AP English Lang - 4, AP Seminar - 4, AP Research - 3 (not reported except to Georgetown)
6 more APs in senior year. Basically took hardest possible course load through all 4 years.
Awards (weakest section?):
Associate of the Royal Schools of Music (ARSM) in the UK in Piano with Merit
National Merit Semifinalist
Principal's Nominee to the National Youth Leadership Forum for National Security/Diplomacy
AP Scholar with Distinction
AP Capstone Diploma
Extracurriculars:
Student Council President, other former leadership roles. Leading/representing the school. Conducting community outreach and planning events. Started a Public Initiative Committee to address student issues.
Summer Internship with local councilman. Led in-depth statistical analysis of City Budget. Researched city/state law to craft voting policy. Helped communities resolve constituent concerns.
Campaign Intern in close 2022 congressional race - we won! Called thousands of voters to recruit volunteers and get out the vote. Knocked hundreds of doors to campaign, working directly for field organizers.
Pianist/Piano Soloist, played/performed for 11 years. Doing recitals and played for a local restaurant.
Varsity Tennis Captain and Coach of 4-11yos. Runner-up county champs, 2nd-Team All County.
YouTube Channel Founder & Host. We talk politics through a bipartisan lens. 1 Dem + 1 Republican debate and do electoral analysis. ~40K Total Views as of submission
Research Volunteer. Transcribed & analyzed hundreds of Supreme Court Justice Notes + Caribbean Slave Records as part of an online collaborative research community.
Grouped rest of misc. community service together: Volunteer at local food pantry, National Honor Society, President of SAT Prep Club.
National Chinese Honor Society Secretary. Spread Chinese culture throughout the school, organized events and fundraisers + took notes at meetings.
President of school's Political Action Club.
Essays/LORs/Other:
Personal Statement + Supps: Probably above average? Nothing extremely stellar. Highlighted my motivation to go into politics (the Hong Kong 2019 Protests) and what I've done to reach my goal of going into public service. Discussed my journey getting elected to my city's Board of Education, where I represent ~35,000 students and my plans for the future in this role.
Really tried to craft a narrative here around civic engagement and public service.
Teacher LORs should be 7-9/10. Can't really tell. Got outside recs from my councilman and a mentor that I think really stand out, but I have to be vague about this.
My interviews were above average to excellent. Duke interviewer said I was the best person she interviewed this cycle and would do everything to get me in. Harvard interviewer said I was an excellent choice, etc. etc.
RESULTS:
Accepted - Georgetown, UMich, WashU, NYU, Boston University ($25K Merit Scholarship), GWU ($20K Merit scholarship), Rutgers ($15K Merit scholarship), Alabama (NMF Full Ride Package, most likely attending)
Waitlisted - Harvard, Columbia, Vanderbilt, Northeastern, American (Yield Prot?)
Rejected - Princeton, Yale, Duke, Penn, Cornell, Northwestern
Reflections:
I'm incredibly thankful to have gotten into the schools I've gotten into, but with my income, I won't be getting any aid at the school I really want to go to: Georgetown.
Since the end goal is law school, spending 320K on Undergrad and then 300K on Law School would be too unfair to my parents. I'll probably have to end up going to Bama or Rutgers. Halfheartedly, Roll Tide.
There is a part of me that knows I have great opportunities ahead, but at the same time, Ivy Day was the worst, seeing 4 years of work going down the drain. I'll be trying my best to make it into Harvard & Columbia off their waitlists (PLEASE HARVARD), but Bama might still be the right financial choice.
Currently working on a payment plan with my parents on Georgetown, maybe I can make it work there? We'll see.
C'est la vie...

TW: Egg count and successful blasts.
Our last cycle was a bust with 0 euploids, so we decided to use more savings and go for another retrieval. I followed the Mediterranean diet (which has more carbs than I’m used to), added in NAC 600mg 3x a day for 3 days a week, açaí, and Omnitrope (1/2 vial during stims). All this on top of all my previous supplements (fish oil, ubiquinol, prenatal, extra folate, selenium, extra vitamin c, extra vitamin D).
This time around I thought we found the answer. Super smooth stim process. Very even growth. Great news the following day. Then the day 5/6 reports came.
Current cycle hunger games: 29 R / 20 M / 14 F -> 5 blasts
Previous cycles:

1. 22 R / 17 M / 10 F -> 6 blasts
2. 22 R / 14 M / 9 F -> 5 blasts

Our previous cycles were so consistent with fertilized to blast rates that we had such high hopes for this cycle. We even used the same TESE sperm from the 2nd cycle. Even the embryologist was surprised.
I’m trying to keep up my hopes that maybe Omni will show its magic in the euploid rate, but I’m so worried and wondering if something I changed was the cause. Statistically, age (39) is not on my side here.
This happen to anyone else? How did it turn out? I usually see folks improving their blast rate with Omni.

Continued from: PART I
At S.T.A.R. Labs, Caitlin tends to Wells while Cisco wonders how the trap failed; apologizing for the danger they put their friend in. Wells assures them he is not upset about it and that Cisco is like a son to him and that he couldn’t be prouder.
In Keystone, Iris talks Patty down. She tells Patty that she is not working for Slate. And she assures Patty that Barry is not either. She recounts a story from their childhood how Barry used to save up money to help raise funds to “get his dad a lawyer”. But when one day, some one in their middle school could not pay their mother’s cancer treatment fees, Barry gave all his saved up money to that little girl. That’s who he is. If Slate is a bad guy, then Barry does not know it. Moved by Iris’s conviction, Patty asks her what she proposes they do then. Iris says that she remembers something Arturo told her. The day Slate’s wife died something changed. Maybe they need to start there.
At Iron Heights, Barry goes to see his father. Henry and Barry talk before Barry starts crying. Henry asks Barry if it is because of Nora’s killer. Barry says that when he looked him in the eye, Barry froze. He forgot everything. He felt powerless. Henry assures Barry that he isn’t powerless. No one is. Not when it comes to doing the right thing. He tried to protect Barry. He asked Barry to move on. But now he knows that Barry never will. If Barry needs to take that monster down, then do it. Look that monster in the eye and remind him that justice always comes knocking. Barry stops in his track. He repeats slowly “his eyes…” Barry recognized the Reverse Flash’s eyes. He knows who Reverse Flash is.
Cisco and Caitlin arrive at the West residence responding to an emergency alert text from Iris. There they see Joe, Mal, and Patty, and tell them that Rodriguez has gone missing but most of all, they have suspicions to believe Slate isn’t who he says he is. The team drives in choppy rain towards a cemetery while Iris catches them up. She says that Patty and her went to Sunville just outside of Central City where Slate and his wife met with the car accident that killed her. Talking to the coroner they realized that there were two charred bodies in the car. Since Dr. Slate who somehow got out scot-free was able to recognize them as his wife and “twin brother”, no further investigation was done. But Slate doesn’t have a twin brother.
Joe says that he has always been wary of Wells. Caitlin thinks about the time Wells said that he “needed” Barry to be faster. Mal concurs that Wells is suspicious. Cisco says that this is insane. Iris says that she has a gut feeling that whoever they know as Slate is probably not even the real Slate. She says that that’s why she asked Mal to get a sample of Slate’s blood from when Slate was attacked by Reverse Flash. They ran a DNA analysis on it and it did not match Slate’s records. But if the corpse does, then they know something is wrong. Suddenly Patty stops them and interjects, “Reverse who now?”
Barry arrives at STAR Labs looking for Slate but cannot find him anywhere. He looks for Cisco and Cailtin but cannot find them either. He screams and runs out into the streets looking for Slate.
Inside a pristine white room, a Slate watches Barry’s outburst at STAR Labs saying that his speed is getting close.
At the graveyard Mal, Joe and Patty dig up the grave. Patty says that she still cannot believe that Barry works with the Flash. Mal says that if Barry has been secretive that’s why because Barry is the Flash’s eyes and ears. Finally, they exhume the body and Caitlin runs a DNA analysis using a forensic device. The corpse matches Slate 100%. Cisco’s world is shattered. He murmurs no, no, no. Caitlin comforts him as he reluctantly agrees with he should have known that something is suspicious when the trap he built for Reverse failed. It wasn’t supposed to malfunction. It couldn’t have. It was sabotaged.
Barry runs to his mother’s grave and break down. He cries and laments and asks for strength to beat Slate. Suddenly his phone rings. It’s Joe. Joe says that he needs to come to Joe’s place right away. There is something he needs to know. Barry says that there is something they need to know too.
Barry arrives at the West residence where is greeted by Mal, Iris, Joe and surprisingly, Patty. Patty runs up to him and hugs him. She tells him that she had no idea he was working for the Flash and had she known, she would never have blown up on Barry for his secrets. Barry is confused but Mal gestures to Barry to let it be. Joe intervenes and says that Barry might need to sit down. Barry sits down on the couch as they begin to tell him “Dr. Slate is indeed-” Barry interrupts them and completes by saying “the Reverse Flash.” The whole group looks at him confused and asks him how he figured it out, he says that it is a long story.
At STAR Labs, Cisco shows Caitlin infrared readings of his energy holding cell which show that it was not breached the night they held Reverse. Caitlin wonders then how the man escaped. Cisco tinkers with the energy prison he had built for Reverse. He finds a hologram within the containment area and watches the recording. All the things Reverse “said” that night were pre-recorded. In a moment of realization, Cisco remembers the way Slate once described the speedforce to Barry when he was teaching him to phase through objects to beat Sam Scudder. Cisco slowly murmurs that only a speedster could have known the speedforce so well. Caitlin hugs Cisco knowing how much Slate meant to him.
Barry enters just then and Cisco and Caitlin hug Barry. Barry says “let’s get this son of a bitch.” Shaking off his apprehensions and now reaffirmed in his conviction to take down Slate, Cisco runs a 3D model of the labs to find out what caused the malfunction, which resulted in the particle accelerator exploding. He never checked any areas outside the cortex or pipeline before, so now he checks the place. He finds a space that is labeled as "Unknown", as it shouldn't be there. They check the corridor and find the entrance to the Vault. This is the pristine, white futuristic room that we have seen the Reverse Flash use before. They enter, and uncover the yellow suit, confirming that "Slate" is indeed him. And they decide to lay a trap for “Slate”.
When “Slate” returns, Caitlin meets him in the Central atrium of the lab. She asks where he was and that Barry had come looking for him. Slate responds that he was actually looking for Barry. Barry had come in the previous night screaming Slate’s name and Cisco’s and Caitlin’s names. Caitlin feigns ignorance. Slate asks her if Barry told her anything. She says that he didn’t. And then almost as it if it were a sudden realization, she tells him that she did see Barry and Cisco talking by themselves. When Slate asks her where Cisco is, she tells him that Cisco is in the sublevel and that he has finally figured out what was wrong with the Energy Containment Unit that they used to trap Reverse Flash in.
“Slate” goes down into the sublevel where he sees Cisco watching his hologram. He stands up from his wheelchair and comes up behind him. He tells Cisco that Cisco is incredibly clever and that he is proud of him. “Dr. Slate” reveals himself as Professor EOBARD THAWNE, a distant descendant of Mal Thawne. Behind the pillars, Joe, Mal and Barry are hiding. Hearing the revelation, Mal is stunned. Eobard continues talking to Cisco and reveals that he can appear as two different people, using after images or speed mirages. Thawne explains that he did, in fact, kill Nora Allen. He went back in time to kill Barry before he ever became a hero, but the plan backfired when a mysterious red streak saved his life. In a fit of rage, he killed Nora instead. But the temporal interference caused by the two speedster’s interactions took most of his speed away. And he realized that the only way he could gain speed back was by creating the very thing he had tried to destroy- Barry Allen’s superspeed. So, he killed Harrison Slate, took his face by vibrating his particles fast enough to rearrange them and engineered the particle accelerator explosion. His plan was to give Barry speed, have the Rogues steal it from Barry into the quantum flux device that he had Samantha build, and trap Barry in a mirrorverse and then take over Central City as he had always planned. But Samantha had to go off script. So he had to watch as Barry destroyed his life’s work. Never again. He takes care of his problems: Just like how he killed the reporter Rodriguez who was snooping around and made him disappear. He continues on to a teary-eyed Cisco that despite all this, Cisco really was like a son to him, and he is so sorry that Cisco will have to die too. He vibrates his hand is about to pull Cisco’s heart out when at that moment, Joe shoots at Eobard, which seemingly executes him. "Eobard" disappears revealing that it was a speed mirage. The real Eobard calls Barry then and boasts that he had figured out their trap. Thawne tells Barry he has been watching him for years. Barry runs after him.
The clash between the speedsters causes a surge of electrical power across the city. Thawne then escapes through the Speed Force, Barry following on his heel. They fight in the Speedforce, where gains the upper hand. Thawne offers Barry a chance to save his mother and create a new timeline where she is alive as long as he gets to rule this one. He says that Barry does not know everything that Barry has taken from him. He vowed to destroy the love of Barry’s life just Barry destroyed the love of his. Barry is taken aback but he finds that Thawne has both Patty and Iris. Barry screams “NO!”
Barry loses his control and pummels after Thawne. He beats Thawne bloody with Thawne goading him on to be faster and faster. Barry realizes that Thawne has integrated the tachyon device into his suit to steal his power. Barry and Thawne fight falling in and out of the Speedforce. Barry corners Thawne who gives him a choice- Save either Iris, Patty and his friends in the now, or save his mother in the past. Barry is confused. He loses his step. Slate spits out blood and says that despite everything, he is still willing to compromise just so he can live in a world without Flash. Barry is conflicted and in a moment of weakness, Barry agrees. Thawne hands the tachyon device to him in order to channel the speedforce and tells him that once he saves her he will never be able to return because the timelines would have diverged into two parallel universes forever. With the Flash still holding Thawne down, Barry lets him go and runs down the speed force and arrives at the night of his mother’s death.
He stands outside the window where he sees his mom and dad and a young him. He sees them talk. He sees them kiss him goodnight. He sees his dad and mom doing dishes together. Tears in his eyes, Barry walks to the door. He sees his dad kiss his mom goodnight and go up to the bedroom. His mom is tidying up the table humming a song as Barry walks in. Startled, Nora drops a plate which shatters. From upstairs Henry calls asking if everything is okay. Nora says that everything is. She stares at Barry in the eye and asks “Barry…?”
Crying now, Barry nods in agreement. Nora rushes to hug him. She asks him how. She just kissed her baby son goodnight. And here is him as a grown man. Barry explains everything to her. NORA ALLEN and Barry hug and sit in silence when suddenly the glass shatters and the water in their fish tank begins to levitates. Barry begins begging, pleading to his mom to let him save her. She tells him that if he did, then her beautiful boy may not have grown up the way he has. That from what he has told her, the whole world will be at risk if he saves her. She cannot let that happen. Barry needs to save the world. As Reverse Flash enters Barry whizzes past him using the tachyon device to steal his speed. Barry runs so fast that the Reverse Flash does not even see him do it. As Barry watches Henry comes running down and is thrown away. Young Barry comes running down as well. Older Barry, pushing through his pain thinks about his friends and his family, and he chooses not to save his mother instead to save his own younger self showing that Barry himself was the red streak. He leaves young Barry two blocks away and runs back. He returns to see the Reverse Flash gone having lost most of his speed, his father unconscious and his mother dying and holds her in his arms. Nora smiles him and they talk. Barry apologizes to her, but she reminds him of his favorite children's book, "The Runaway Dinosaur". Barry still remembers it and finally understands that despite his mother dying, she will always be in his heart. He always had the mother he always deserved. And he needs to show his love to her by living his life the way she would have wanted him to. With joy and happiness. Slowing down and living. Nora then hold his hand, his hand asks him with her dying breath, "Run, Barry, run".
Within the speedforce, Thawne is charging himself up to take over the world when Barry arrives and knocks him out of the Speedforce. Eobard falls into the streets of Central City, with Barry following him. Barry is moving faster than ever now but internally; Barry has slowed him. He is not impulsive, he is deliberate. He has come to terms with his lose. He is in the moment.
Mal, Cisco, Caitlin, Iris and Joe arrive and watch the two speedsters fight. Eobard is confused as to why Barry did not save his mother and that Barry could have had all he has ever wanted- A family. Barry looks at his friends and he exclaims that he already has one. Angered, Eobard unleashes his full strength with all the speed mirages, and they overpower the Flash who gets thrown to the curb. Eobard corners Barry, pinning him to the wall and announcing "Just so we're clear, after I kill you, I'm going to kill them and then I'm going to kill your father! I always win, Barry! I always-". Suddenly a shot rings and we see Mal Thawne shoot himself in the heart. Everyone is shell-shocked.
As Iris runs Mal and craddles his dying body. Eobard stares at the dying man. Barry, still holding Eobard down is shocked as well. Iris asks Mal why he did that. Mal smiles and says that he was simply "thinking about the future." Joe feels the Earth rumbling and asks if that is normal. Suddenly space-time continuum is ripped open into a ‘time storm’ that starts expanding, pulling Mal's body into it. Eobard begins laughing uncontrollably.
As Mal Thawne is a direct ancestor of Eobard Thawne, his death causes Eobard to be erased from existence. This creates a paradox: since Mal did not leave behind any children to continue the Thawne name, Eobard is never born and therefore the entire timeline that he created by killing Nora Allen could have never been created. Even as Eobard is being erased from existence, he laughs at how little Barry and team understand the speed force and reminds Barry that he might not be able to get along without him after years of him controlling his life. Eobard disappears, dissolving into thin air, being erased from the timeline.
The singularity rises up feeding and growing in size and strength. Cisco warns Barry that "it cannot be stopped and that he doesn’t know how to unravel a time-storm", Barry looks at Iris who is crying over Mal. He looks back at Cisco and tells Cisco, “But I do. I always have.”
Without fear and in control of his element, Barry runs up to the speed-storm in a bid to neutralize it by running around the debris floating into it in the opposite direction with equal rotation, just like he unraveled the tornado with Mark Mardon on his first outing as a hero. Barry runs faster than he has ever run before. As he runs, he sees another Flash by him. Then he sees another one. Then he sees another. Millions of Flashes- past, present and future running by him. They run against the direction of the storm as fast as they can, their form melting off as they unravel more and more of the time storm. Barry keeps running faster and faster until he crosses the speed of light, and begins to push past it. Time begins to act up, reality begins to warp, as pieces and particles of debris around him float in the air. But it’s still not enough. Barry keeps pushing himself further. Faster, and faster. He screams as his body begins to tear away at itself. But still, he can’t stop. That’s when he feels something. Something greater calling to him. A calm, warm feeling in the back of his mind. He closes his eyes, and he smiles.
On the ground, Cisco and Caitlin and Iris and Joe look up at the sky. In his prison cell, Henry Allen looks up at the sky. While helping on the beat David Singh looks up at the sky. At KCPD, August sees the time storm far away. Patty runs out of her house to see the time storm. And then, there is an explosion sending a wave of energy throwing everyone at the epicenter, Cisco, Caitlin, Joe, Iris to the ground. They look up to the sky as the time storm shrinks in on itself and disappears but there is no Barry. Barry Allen is gone.
Cisco and Caitlin look at each other in horror, and they look at Joe. Iris, still cradling Mal’s dead body looks at the empty sky with tear-filled eyes.
As “Run Through Walls” by Script starts playing, we see the aftermath of the fight. Cisco, Cailtin, Iris and Joe mourn for Barry.
At Iron Heights Penitentiary, Henry Allen is freed after Joe West reopened his case with all the new evidence. Caitlin and Cisco rebuild STAR Labs and they welcome their new director- Dr. Silas Stone. Joe gets a promotion as Captain of their CCPD branch while Singh gets promoted to Commissioner. At Joe’s desk is a picture of Iris and Barry as teenagers.
Cailtin goes to see Patty and lets her know that Barry died during the Flash’s fight with the Reverse Flash. Patty breaks down crying as Caitlin hugs her. Iris leaves white lilies (Mal's favorite flowers) at Malcolm's grave and speed racer’s car at Barry’s. Henry Allen looks at a picture of himself, Nora and younger Barry. Caitlin watches a video from her wedding with Ronnie, a glass of wine and tears in her eyes. Cisco and Caitlin look at the chamber in the S.T.A.R Labs where they used to keep Barry’s suits and they look at the suit, distraught, longing for their friend and they switch off the lights.
Fade from black as Barry opens his eyes. He is covered in soot and ash. He stands up and looks around and he sees N*zi flags as far the eyes can see. He has accidentally travelled back in time to World War II. Barry’s eyes widen in horror.
Cut to credits.
Mid Credit Scene:
Iris and Joe to a hospital after being called by a nurse. They see a 17-year-old in intensive care. The same boy we saw earlier in the movie with shock-red hair. The nurses tell her that there is little chance of survival. Iris asks who that is. A Keystone PD officer tells them that is an illegal street-racer from Keystone who got caught in the electrical surge from Flash and Reverse Flash’s battle and doused in a nitromethane explosion. They brought him to the hospital and ID’ed him which alerted the KCPD. Joe says that they still haven’t answered her question. They say that with the kid’s life on the line they ran a DNA assay to find his family. And he matched with one name in their system- a Daniel West. Iris’ brother. Joe’s stepson. This is Iris’ nephew. Iris walks up to the ICU glass and looks at the kid fighting for his life. Unseen by her, the boy’s feet twitch and they discharge a small bolt of lightning from his feet.
Post Credit Scene 1:
Caitlin walks home and feels that someone is following her. She turns around and she sees Ronnie Raymond, alive. She walks up to him and tries to touch his face, but he asks her not to do so. We pan on her face as she touches him and we see her face lit by a bright, glowing yellow-orange light off-screen.
Post Credit Scene 2:
In the Batcave, Bruce and Diana look at Lex Luthor’s research on metahumans when they see a CCTV footage of Barry Allen stopping a grocery store robbery, raising their eyebrows in bewilderment. Bruce asks Diana, "Is this kid the you were talking about?" Diana sits down, deep in thought and says, "*Just the one."

Aesthetic Choices and Casting

The film will have the kinetic visual style of Speed Racer. Darker and deeper color scheme and a heavier tone than the last movie but still lighter in tone than the Batman films.
All the cast from the first movie (minus Sam Scudder and ARGUS agents) reprise their roles [CLICK HERE TO SEE CASTING LINEUP of the first movie]. The only new cast members are:
Main Cast:

• Patty Spivot: Sophie Skelton

Minor Roles:

• Roscoe Dillon/ Top: Iain De Caestecker
• August Heart: Jared Padalecki
• Dr. Christina McGee: Amanda Pays

and of course,

• Wallace "Wally" West: Ross Lynch

***
NEXT MOVIE: Dawn of Justice: World War II

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