Hello all parents,
Please help as I'm losing my mind over this. Our little boy, who is in combo feeding (formula and breast milk) and 2months old, developed a bit of dry skin a couple of weeks ago. The health care visitor said it was probably just hormones passed via the milk and we shouldn't worry. About a week ago, the dry skin became red and inflamed. Then moved to his left cheek. We took the baby to the GP and he diagnosed eczema. She prescribed emolian cream to use as soap for when he is bathing, and to use aveeno cream for moisturising during the day. She also said it's genetic and nothing to worry about. For the last three days though, the flaring has moved to the other cheek as well and there's no sign of improvement. We will try to see a GP tomorrow.
Any ideas?
If eczema why the creams don't help? Is it possible it's an allergy to my wife's diet? A reaction to the washing detergent?
I feel so sorry for our little bean. He seems to be in distress and wants to scratch his face :-(
Any help and suggestions are welcomed.
Thank you you all x

Hello everyone, I am looking for some guidance, explanation, just any kind of help. Oh where do I begin, I have grown up in a strict Russian orthodox community but never felt the presence of God as a child (I am 19 now). 2 years ago, I started to lose my faith and found myself in crystals, meditation, looking for guidance from ancestors/spirit guides, and believing in the universe. To this day, I still believe in some of those things, especially because I found out I could do a type of “reading” which explores a persons soul from a Birds Eye view. But within the last year, I completely left the religion and joined an “American” or other wise known as a standard christian church. I made the final choice to leave when my current boyfriend insisted that I tried going to one of the services. After this service, I felt myself create my own journey with God. I really felt his touch, so I now know he is with me. Since we got my religious past out of the way, I’d like to explain the scene. The so called “demon” or entity feels like it has attracted itself to my room. Many bad things have happened in that room. I had experienced situations with an abusive ex, trouble with substance, and suicidal ideation (along with many unprotected meditations) in that room. I have always felt a major mood shift every time I enter. The atmosphere was never really troubling until just recently. Just a few weeks ago, I re arranged my room. So my bed is facing in front of my TV and off to the side (but not in front) is a mirror. I can not see myself in this mirror when I lay down in my bed. Ever size I rearranged my room, the dark atmosphere has gotten so much thicker (I even find it leaking through my whole house). To start off, I started seeing things out of the corners of my eye in the reflection of my TV and my mirror. I also have been having THE WORST motivation ever. It feels like my whole day is time lapsed because of the time I spend in my bed. Some days I can’t get up at all. This has lead me to be very very behind in my studies. This lack of motivation has clung itself to me and I can not study in certain spots anymore. I feel like I always have to be finding new places. My hair has started falling out due to all the stress that I feel. This un motivation can turn into anger and suck frustration, I feel like the only way to take it out is being physically violent, verbally aggressive, consume myself in the substances I used to take part in, or I consume myself in suicidal thoughts. But as soon as I leave my room/house I am completely fine. I would like to sage my room or have a peeing come to my house but my parents could be really weirded out. I am sorry if this story is a little confusing, if there are any questions please feel free to ask and I will further explain. Thank you in advanced.

CLAIM INFO

• FORMAL NAME: Valeraty Confederation, The
• COLLOQUIAL NAME: Valera
• DEMONYM: Valeraty
• FLAG: Proportions are 1:1.
• MAP: Here!
• CLAIM TYPE: State
• TECH ERA: Iron Age
• TECHNOLGIES: Writing, Horse Domestication, Spoked Wheel, Cadastre, Sewerage
• ECONOMY: Opt-In
• POPULATION: Opt-In
• COLOS: Black & Gold.
• GOVERNMENT TYPE: Unitary Confederal Classical Republic
• CAPITAL (AND LARGEST CITY): Vy (located in present-day Cairo, Egypt AND Giza, Egypt) (this city is L2 in the population system, in part due to the Nile obviously)

​

THE STORY OF THE WORLD SO FAR

• Vo (existence) ITSELF has no beginning and no end, only change, but this world has a beginning and perhaps an end, for in order for something to start and end someone -- or SOMETHING -- must create them.
• IT has no mind on its own, only a singular motivation for change. And so, it changed, creating Ty, this world, in the process.
• Eventually Vo has to change ITSELF, giving birth to So THEMSELF, the first Ho (Human) that walked the lands and sailed the seas of Ty, which is shrouded in eternal twilight at the time.
• It is from So THEMSELF that the rest of the Ho can trace their lineage to, but So favored (and chosen) a certain group of people, for So birthed them first.
• That certain group of people is the Valeraty, also known as The First Children.

​

THE STORY OF THE VALERATY SO FAR

• The Valeraty are a black/brown-eyed, beige-skinned, and red-haired pre-Indo-European ethnic group from Northern Europe that migrated to Egypt for warmer pastures and greener grass. In Egypt, they are previously oppressed. But once the Sea Peoples came to raid and invade Egypt, they rose up, killed their overlords, and established their own state with them at the top.
• They have an affinity with iron due to their lands being within major iron deposits.
• They also have a caste system, with the lowest caste being barbarians (namely people from other ethnic groups, languages, and religions).
• Gender or sexuality does not matter here. The eldest child, no matter the gender or sexuality, inherits the lion’s share. Age, social standing, ethnic group, language, and religion does, however. They also state their pronouns aside from their names and titles during introductions and greetings, which makes them stand out among their neighbors.
• If someone is born, a baptismal ceremony welcoming them into the world happens within the day. Once they turn 8, they begin apprenticeship at a trade of their choice (their choice is limited however between the trades of their parent/s). Once they turn 16, they begin adulthood via a coming-of-age ceremony and end their apprenticeship.
• The Valeraty elect their rulers (a Valeraty citizen can elect as long as they are 16 years and are within castes that are high enough, poor people, homeless people, and criminals cannot vote for example even if they are 16 years old or above since they are within castes that are low enough but not as low as the barbarians, which are the lowest; barbarians cannot vote of course), and in turn those rulers rule for life. The ruler of rulers directly manages Vy and surrounding areas in addition to ruling over the other rulers (which in turn directly manages their respective provinces). The ruler of rulers has supreme executive and judicial authority.
• Their legislature consisted of the Senate. They are the supreme legislative authority.
• Savasa (Savism) is their official religion, which is the reformed and more centralized version of Valeraty Paganism. The only deity worshipped in said religion is So THEMSELF, which is canonically non-binary.
• The Valeraty Alphabet has 4 vowels, namely A, E, O, and Y.
• Today is Year 1000 in the Valeraty Calendar (AKA 1000 After Landing or 1000 AL for short), for it is exactly 1000 years since they stepped foot into Egypt.

I read this story within the last five-ish years. I can't remember if it was in a book or online.
A mother is making poor choices throughout the story and bad things almost happen to her little girl. Say she steps outside to smoke, and the little girl almost climbs into a bathtub that's filled too hot or deep. So you're always going "oh no oh no oh no" but then everything turns out okay. The mother is distracted because she's planning to leave the little girl that evening to ?meet a man? Maybe? But in the end she kind of snaps out of her distraction/carelessness and chooses to stay home and, you know, actually parent her daughter.

I’m F(19) and I’m moving out of state next week and I just need advice on how to emotionally and mentally separate myself from my parents. My mom is toxic and she physically, emotionally, and verbally abused me for as long as I can remember. I was no perfect child either I can admit but the stuff she has done and said to me over the years and even now is not ok. Lately I been overthinking leaving because I didn’t tell them and I don’t want too out of fear of them keeping me locked up as I have been for many years. I just keep thinking about what their gonna do or what their gonna say cause I plan to cut ties with them when I leave.
I also don’t want them to judge me because I didn’t graduate high school due to not having enough credits so they gave me the choice of getting my ged or 1 more year in hs but obvious my mom made the choice for me but I don’t want to do that I want to live life and also get my ged. Another thing I worry about is them being disappointed because I do appreciate the stuff they did and got for me over the years, it’s just that they don’t care about me mentally and they make my mental health worse and I tried to tell them but they obviously don’t care. But yeah that’s all I need advice on how to emotionally & mentally detach from my toxic parents. Thank you if you read this🥲

Rant incoming.
I am not gay or any part of the lgbt, but more than anything in the world I love my (25yo) baby brother, who is gay.
You probably know where this is going. It's an old tale. My parents despise that he is gay and treat him like shit for it.
They've tried setting him up with (underage) girls. They've tried pretending it isn't true. When he was in HS, they attempted to send him away to therapy. Nowadays they send him passive aggressive bible verses and messages about praying, coming to church etc.
I feel really guilty. I know they love him. They really do. My brother keeps in contact, he says that if I can change my views, they can, too. But I hate seeing him cry because once again, they disrespect who he is. I told him we should both cut contact with them, but he isn't ready. Doesn't matter. HE is more my family than they ever were. HE is the reason I'm alive. And I am DONE listening to them talk to me about how I need to convince him to meet a nice girl. He's perfect and doesn't need to change a thing.
His birthday is in a few days. I'm going to call mum then, and tell her I'm done. My parents don't like me. They won't miss me or change because of this choice. tbh idk if this is a good choice to make. But it isn't just about him. Its about everything they ever did, and their refusal to acknowledge their wrongdoings. I owned up to my mistakes, and now it's their turn.
To any rainbow friends reading who have homophobic parents...I'm so sorry. If anyone needs a rant, I'll listen. If I could, I'd reach through the screen and give a big brother hug to anyone who needs it. You're not broken or sinful. Love is love, and I hope this month you put energy into loving yourself, for exactly who you are.
Happy pride everyone. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

What is your birthday wish ?

In the part 1 video, I already got explain what is my birthday wishes. There is one more wish which I never mention in my part 1 video because I felt it is impossible to happen. But I hope this thing can be possible. Because I hope that one of my birthday wish can come true. That is Goddess Mistress Luna to forgive me. If Mistress Luna can forgive me, this will be one of my very very happy birthday gifts. Very very happy birthday present. A very very happy birthday wish. So this is one of my birthday wish. For my other wish, you can refer to my part 1 video.

Mistake again

On 18th May 2023, I go and work Adhoc security job at the Raffles Institution. When I off duty, I forgot to return the access card. Because you need the access card to access many of the areas inside the RI. As a result, after my night shift work on the 22th May, I need to go from Bukit Batok condominium Adhoc job to Marymount to return the access card. Its a fucking waste of time. I shouldn't have forget to return the card, which is a fucking fucking big big big mistake that shouldn't have happen. Its wasting time. On 30th May 2023 (Tuesday), I made a mistake again. After night shift work, I open my plastic bag containing smart phone. How come so wet ? Got water one. I was shocked because the phone got water. Means its at risk or spoil. I think and think how come got water. After I check everything, you know what happened ? The perfume maybe never close tight enough. As a result, the whole bottle of perfume spit out inside the bag and my phone kenna the perfume water. So after that, my mother say should put a zip lock bag, in case the perfume thing come out, the water is still inside the ziplock bag, not come out and anyhow spread. So this is a fucking big mistake because once the phone spoil, honggan already. Because I got no money go and buy new phone. So this type of mistake shouldn't have happened.

If you book new BDSM mistress in August and if Goddess Mistress Luna found out, will she be angry ?

There's nothing wrong with me to go and find new BDSM mistress because currently Goddess Mistress Luna has banned me. If she ban me, I go and find other BDSM mistress, its alright. Its OK. If she never ban me, then I shouldn't go and find other BDSM mistresses and I should have stayed loyal to her. So you see, she banned me. If I don't go and find other BDSM mistresses, she also still ban me. So of course I need to go and find new BDSM mistresses.

Do you think you will forget about Mistress Luna after you engage good fans BDSM services in August ?

This is very hard to say. I am not sure. Maybe after I meet my female fans who is also a professional BDSM mistress. Maybe after I engage her, maybe I can finally forget about Goddess Mistress Luna. This one I cannot tell you the answer now. I can only tell you after I engage the new BDSM mistress in August.

If you have Doraemon time machine and go back to change school and teacher, will you end up passing O level or will you end up walking the same path ?

If I got Doraemon time machine, I will go back find the toto number to become the millionaire. Why the fuck will I care about passing O levels ? Come on. If I got time travel machine and I know which number will come out in future, I go and buy then I will confirm become a super super millionaire or even a billionaire. Why will I go back to the Doraemon time machine to pass my O level ? For what ? How much can you earn if you pass your O level ? If I can go back to the past, I going to buy the number that confirm can come out then I become the millionaire or billionaire. That is more important.

Since you always kenna prank calls, maybe you can try do phone sex operator ?

First of all, I don't know what the fuck is phone sex operator. I have never heard of this before. Can explain more to me about phone sex operator ? Because seriously I have never heard of this job before. What the fuck is phone sex operator ?

Will Ah Kim do fisting for you if you pay ? Need to show her how big your ass is. Can give birth. How many fists can go inside your anal hole at the same time.

Ah Kim my wife will never agree to fist fuck my ass. Its too extreme for her. Even I got money to pay her to leash me like a dog, she wont do that because its too extreme for her. So answer is No. She will not do that. Keith ask a funny question. If a fist can go inside your anal hole, you are very very awesome man. Very incredible already. Unbelievable. I don't think there is anyone in this world that can two fist go inside the anal hole. Maybe a vagina can. How can two fists go inside the anal hole ?

If your anal hole is so big, how come your face gek until so difficult ?

BDBYZD. That is called purposely one. Acting. You know what is called acting or not. I purposely make that expression so that people can laugh, so they feel funny because I am a comedian. 我是搞笑的演员。我是走搞笑的路线。 So if I pangsai, I no expression, its not funny, so you must gek sai, so got expression. If no expression, it will be very very boring. Its called acting. Simple things like this also dunno. Wah piang eh. Jialat sia.

How come you forgot your lines during latest commercial filming ?

Quite a few people ask this question. This question is so simple because they also don't understand. Again this is called acting. Its for the effect. Purposely one so that can make it funny because I am a comedian. Purposely during commercial, they want me to act like I forget my line so that it looks funny. So simple you also don't know. So simple also don't understand. Wah lan eh. Sibeh jialat sia.

Funeral type of jobs, you want try ? Like undertaker.

Jay say that the money is very good. Answer is No. You want the ghosts to come up ah. I told you before why I don't want the old flat because the old flat what happened got ghost inside the house ? So you still want me to try certain jobs like the undertaker like funeral all these. No the thing is this, not that I scared of ghost or what. Because I am human God. I scared something happen to my family, not me. I am human God man. I only worry for my family.

That time you talk until got tiger got dragon but when the lawyer letter come, you got scared. How come behave like pussy ? That time say you don't mind Mistress Luna to send me the lawyer letter but when she send you lawyer letter, you so scared.

BDBYZD. I am not scared to go to jail to meet DeeKosh inside the jail. You see go to jail, you got free food to eat. Everyday no need to work, got food to eat already. But however, I must think of my family, I must think of my parents, my Papa, my mama, my wife. I think about my son, my daughter. If I go to jail to meet DeeKosh and Amos Yee inside the jail then my family how? Who will feed my family ? Because I am the only one who need to feed my whole family. Without me, they where got food to eat. I scared not because I timid. Because I worry about my family. If I am single, seriously I don't mind to go to jail because it is nothing to me.

You should sell fart. He showed me this article about Kiara Kitty. She is selling fart in a jar for $30.

Seriously man. When I heard of this thing sell the fart, I was shocked. Who want to buy fart in a jar ? I think maybe unless the person escape from IMM. No no no. Escape from IMH. Then the person will buy the jar. Inside they contain the fart. How you know inside got fart ? Maybe inside just empty bottle. The Kiara Kitty say her fart inside. Maybe its just bottle. How do you know inside is fart ? Are you going to open the bottle and smell ? Cannot be right. If you open the bottle of the jar, the fart will come out from the jar then no more already. So you cannot open. If you can open, how do you determine inside got fart or not. You see certain things only a beautiful chiobu can earn money. But for guys, its very hard.

Since you got financial problems, why don't you go and do OnlyFans ?

If I am a beautiful chiobu, I will confirm go and do OnlyFans, wear sexy sexy bikinis all these. Can earn more than $10k per month. But me, nobody will be interested because I am not a chiobu. Certain things a girl can do only but guys cannot. If I were to sell my fart or go and do OnlyFans (wear sexy sexy), it will not work because I am not a beautiful chiobu. If I beautiful chiobu, I will go and do OnlyFans already and earn a lot of money. Got money why I don't want ? Because I know nobody will be interested. Btw the people who go and buy the fart in the jar really got something wrong in their brain. Got mental problem. Only mental problem people will go and buy the jar with fart. 神经到无可救药。 No medicine can cure them.

What do you think of WideAd and how they type all your Q&A ?

First of all, this WideAd or Reddit or whatever. Every time transcribe my Q&A, cause a lot of problems. Because some lazy people will just go and read the Reddit instead of watching my Q&A videos. So this cause my viewership to go down, to decrease. As a result, the lesser viewership I get, the lesser money I earn. So its terrible. And btw, there are certain things that maybe the people who transcribe the Q&A, sometimes he don't understand what I am talking then he anyhow type nonsense. If you are real fans, please watch my Q&A. Don't go and read what Reddit.

If one day if you happen to meet Goddess Mistress Luna in the public and she asked you to knee down to apologize to her, will you do that ?

If I happen to meet Goddess Mistress Luna in the public place, I will ask for her forgiveness. I will apologize to her personally. If she require me to knee down in the public place to apologize to her, will I do it or not ? Answer is Yes. Even though I am a public figure, many many people recognize me because I super super famous. But if knee down in public can make her forgive me, I think i don't mind. Even though its so embarrassing, so embarrassing. Even though its so embarrassing, I will still do it. Its worth the embarrassment as long as she forgive me, its OK.

You say championship belt cure depression and help to overcome all obstacles in your life. Why are you still making mistakes and need new Kurt Tay to arrive ?

I mention 4th June 2023 will be the last time the new Kurt Tay will arrive. As far for the question, let me explain. I got explain before because that time I was thinking I was a WWE champion, NXT champion, WCW world champion, AEW world champion. So after I lose the fight to the fishball Loh Jia Hung, it caused serious depression and the depression is not so easily cured. And that is why dog slave spirit enter my body. All I know is that I kenna gongtao too strong. Last time I say I autocum can force the slave spirit to come out of my body. But I try many times, still cannot come out The gongtao is too strong. Too powerful already. Really really bo bian (no choice)

I follow a lot of liberal/leftist or "woke" social media circles. But one thing that I just feel is being taken too far when it comes to being overly sensitive is the whole "children are marginalized group" ideology. I disagree with it altogether and don't see them in the same arena in comparison to race, sexual orientation, gender, etc. Now, kids can fall into one of those many groups, but the idea that children themselves are marginalized simply for being a kid is stupid as fuck.
They say that children aren't treated kindly in public places and whatnot. I feel that it's an excuse for lazy parenting. I don't mind kids in public if they are being quiet and well behaved, but parents say that it's being discriminatory towards kids for acting like a kid; which is one of the most idiotic bullshit statements I've ever heard.
It's this kind of shit that makes me hate people in general even more.

Hi! As you will see, I didn't publish research/co-author a papecreate a non-profit/found a company/present at a science faiwin a national award/etc/etc. Hopefully future applicants will learn something idk. I realize the post is very long, at the end is my reflection/advice. Keeping it vague because I don't want to get exposed as a Reddit user to my friends
Demographics

• Gender: Female
• Race/Ethnicity: Asian
• Residence: US
• Type of School: Competitive Public
• Hooks: None

Intended Major: MechE
Academics

• GPA: 4.0 UW, 4.5 W
  • W GPA is lower than some top students at school because I took a lot of random electives that weren't AP/Honors
• Rank: no rank
• # of Honors/AP/Dual Enrollment: 16 total
• Senior Year Course Load: Calc 3 & Linear Alg Dual Enrollment @ local CC, AP Bio, AP English, 1 engineering elective, AP Government, AP Micro, school orchestra

Standardized Testing

• SAT: 1570 (780 RW, 790 M)
• AP: All 5s (including Physics 1, C Mech & EM, Calc BC) except 4 AP English in junior year

Extracurriculars/Activities

1. Robotics (9-12, mechanical lead in 12th): by far my biggest time commitment but also my least favorite activity because team politics :
2. Robotics Internship at local university (12): sounds cool but wasn't actually. Followed undergraduate researcher around the lab, failed a couple of 3D prints, mixed some chemicals. No reports published, no research authored. At least I had fun
3. Independent project with university professor (10): also sounds cool but wasn't actually. got the project through pure nepotism because it was COVID and my parents were stressed I was doing jack shit at home, again at least I had fun
4. Volunteer for science organization (9-12): my favorite activity I easily spent 200+ hours on it to the point where my parents told me to chill a bit because I was not doing other things. basically teaching younger students various science topics
5. Orchestra (9-12): played oboe/english horn in highest ranked youth orchestra in the area. Liked orchestra, did not like lessons and practice
6. Soccer (9-12): JV (9,10) and varsity (11,12). did pretty well in JV but ate more snacks than I played matches in varsity
7. School Rocket Club (9-11): I was really into rockets and such in middle school but then I stopped liking it in the middle of 10th grade and I stuck it out until 11th but gave up in 12th
8. Random ass personal robot project (11): I was bored. It looked really janky and barely worked but the colleges don't need to know that. Submitted to a total of 0 science fairs/awards.
9. Local children's museum volunteer (9-12): I quite enjoyed this one even though it involved talking to people. Basic museum staff things like front desk management, giving prizes to kids, telling people where the bathroom is when the giant sign is right above them
10. Playing piano (9-12): In the Common App's "Position/Leadership Description" I wrote "Hobby" lmao

Awards/Honors

1. Robotics team award
2. State/County honor bands
3. Qualified for AIME in 11th and 12th (for the record, both years I made it by 1.5 points and got 1 point on the actual AIME, but again, colleges don't need to know that) (unless they asked for it in their application)
4. National Merit Semi Finalist
5. Spanish award from school

Letters of Recommendation
I would say my rec letters were probably pretty good. I got 3 recs total, with at most 2 going to each college depending on what teachers they wanted. I'd known them for all four years of high school some way or another, so I had a more friend-friend relationship with them instead of teacher-student.
Interviews
MIT: My first interview! It was definitely a "I ask you answer" kinda feel instead of conversational. The guy would not stop staring at me and smiling which I think meant he was listening to me intently but I was a bit unnerved
Cornell: He was really nice and funny but he also did most of the talking. I vibed with him though
Princeton: Was given the option to do either in-person or virtual, chose Zoom because I couldn't be bothered to go out of my house. Also I was on vacation when they emailed and I didn't email back until my interviewer sent a follow-up email. The interview itself was good though, she was from the same area I'm from so we had some things in common.
Essays
I spent a hell of a lot of time writing my essays. I had one outside paid tutor look at some of them, but only a couple since I ran out of time near the end and most of the RD essays went unchecked. I really liked my personal statement though. I can explain more in detail if you want to known through DMs but it wasn't anything big and sad and traumatic, I think it was kind of funny and said a lot about my personality/my values.
Decisions
Acceptances:

• A handful of safeties that were all coincidentally in the middle of nowhere
• Purdue (EA)
• UIUC (EA)
• UMichgan (EA)
• Georgia Tech (EA)
• UCLA
• UC Berkeley
• UPenn
• Princeton

Waitlists:

• Northeastern (deferred EA)
• Cornell
• HMC

Rejections:

• Yale
• Columbia
• Rice
• Northwestern
• MIT

Reflection (skip to next section if you don't wanna read me ranting about my college choices):
Ultimately, I chose Princeton over the strong public engineering schools (which I think are ranked higher in terms of engineering than Princeton?) because of a couple of reasons:

1. Majors--I tried compsci this year and quite enjoyed it, so I started also considering CS/EE/CE over MechE. At Berkeley switching would be virtually impossible, and it would be difficult at the other public schools as well due to capped major policies and such.
2. Size--I didn't like the size of public schools. I personally know students who loved it, but I really didn't want to go to a big school.
3. Undergraduate programs--Princeton really sold me on their "undergraduate focused" school, basically that due to their very small graduate population a lot of their resources like funding, research opportunities, faculty are much more available to undergraduates than other schools with a large graduate body.
4. Prestige--yeah I'm not gonna lie prestige definitely pushed me and my parents in the Princeton direction, especially as immigrants they were excited about Ivys

Side note: I'm OOS for all publics, but even then I think Princeton had the highest price for me. They did give me financial aid (albeit a very small amount) which helped. Whichever school I chose, my parents had enough savings so I wouldn't have to take out loans, which I'm very grateful about.
Advice:
I'm honestly just as clueless as you are as to college admissions, but here's my take from the past several months. If I had to guess which part of my application got me into these schools--since I know there are people with more "impressive" ECs and awards who got rejected--I would say my essays and everything that comes with them. I wrote them about things that were unique to me, in ways that were unique to me. None of them were about really impactful things, but I'd like to say they were very honest about me and my life, which I think showed my personality really well. In a similar vein, I truly enjoyed my extracurriculars. If I could redo high school, I wouldn't not do any of them. I think this showed in my essays as well. Another note: for a lot of my extracurriculars, I did them for all four years of high school and continued them even after application season, which is definitely a plus as it shows admissions officers commitment and that I'm passionate about what I do, not just starting in junior year for college.
Hoping this helped! If you have any questions, feel free to DM, but please take everything here with a grain of salt because the biggest lesson I've learned through this process is that it all really comes down to luck.

The foundational root of all sales success is a fanatical focus on prospecting
There is no secret formula that can deliver success
you always need to constantly prospect and fill your pipe with good leads.
Prospecting is supposed to be hard - there is no way around it - if you had a choice between prospecting and swimming with sharks, you would choose the sharks.
But the people who prospects regularly - wins.

These few days I been ranting, I hope nobody will bash me with words. It's okay to read my rant just don't push me down further as I don't even know how to lead in life with a smile, My heart feels so stigmatized, tight and heavy. Being born shortly after by my biological mom, some unverified reason happen between my mom and dad leads to divorce. I was very young back then, probably 3-5 years old and I can't talk as I have not yet learn how to, suddenly as this point of time writing this post, I can't believe how much time has passed, the last time I was a child, I felt small, my hands, legs, and there are less things I know about the world, I wasn't so upset or so depressed, but something wasn't feeling right, that love and emptiness I felt, even though I can't describe how it feels back then but subconsciously I miss my mom so much, I have only a memory left of my mom that before she abandoned me, my dad bring me to visit my mom once in awhile, ok very attached to my mom and would hug her everytime I see her. Even though like I said I can't speak, I enjoyed spending the short time with her at her house with my grand mother, I can no longer remember their faces, I know my mom was a very pretty lady wnd petite lady though she was short. She would buy DVDs something that genz won't understand, of Pokemon and digimon animes but back then I don't know it's an anime _(..)/ I could sit at the bedroom on the bed watching peacefully, I don't know what the story in Pokemon and digimon was about back then but the memory remains there till as I grow up with understanding of Pokemon I know what was the thing of memory I had. The two things I remembered was that Bulbasaur refused to evolve even though his species has all evolve, despite Venusaur wanted him to do so, he was so attached to its trainer and that love force him to remain the same which I do not know why maybe the fear to be no longer the same identity? The another was whereby ash, misty, Brock was put into sleep by Gengar and they saw a giant gengar and Alakazam was fighting, but when they touch Gengar or it ate them they fell into his stomach not dead as of they're inside a giant jar, I also remember my grandma bring me to her work place which was primary school but everytime it was emlty, filled with no students maybe because it's weekend? I don't know but when I was with her, I would just run around the canteen while my grandma cleans the canteen, it was so nostalgic, life was so simple back then. I don't need to care anything else.. it was a very simple and sacred love I had from then, but looking backwards, it was a just call before the storm. Everything bad starts happened, before I notice I no longer able to see my mom and grandma again, I was sent to different of my mom I think from my dad but it was just a short time, and I was constantly move from one place to another, but of course the reason was because nobody want to for free especially without money, fast forward that my dad married another woman, and that was really the nightmare that soon to begin, although when I was told to call her mom, it will never ever replace the love I had for my biological mom even though her love for me and the time spending her was short. As I was growing I will always ask my dad where's my mom and he know I was referring to my biological mom as I was very attached to her. I miss her and I know she will never come back but a child I do not know why and I just only kept missing her. That woman that my dad marries brought me to her family, they are a very traditional kind of mindset family and sort of rich, well selling fishball noodles till able to demolish and rebuild terrace house ya over the last few years and I was living there since then till I'm 12 years old. Moving to my dad's house was the hell period and start of the nightmare, always constantly I get beaten up by canning all over my leg and body, forcing to stand for 2 hours because I was too stupid unable study well. I remembered now suddenly that I was force to keep memorize English words for 2 hours sometimes and while crying and standing I had to repeat the words that I am learning for, spelling test often has in school that's why*
Fast forward to secondary school a new school for me, at age of 13/14, lost my previous friends as they went other schools because I wasn't staying at the woman's family house anymore which was nearer to my previous school. Orientation of the school day which is first day, my days of being bullied starts, was bullied by my group of Malay classmates, and I got angry but I cried while angry that is why the bullying continues for 3-4 years, each time I angry, I'll cry at the same time even when I'm angry. There was once my entire school books in my school bag was thrown into the dustbin according to the teachers and couldn't be found. It will be funny, like who even bring entire year of school books? Yup that's me, that woman wanted me to bring and I hate to bring or put it in my bag. I wanted to make friends with my classmates, even those female classmates but I do not know how, like 13 years old kids nowadays knows how to use iphone and I don't even know how to say: May I be your friend, because this doesn't exist in my brain, which I do not know how to even say or what's sentence so the only way to get their attention was by running around in class, and running to slam myself into the wall, pulling girls hairs to get their attention, it's kind of childish, but what to do? I literally don't even know how basic gestures works. Another reasons why I can't express myself properly was also because of my ADHD symptoms and back then I was very very hyperactive! for my school life, can't go anywhere after school and only home and I only can study at home, there's nothing for me to play and it was very bored as I can't sit still, it feels like a prison especially when holiday comes because I can never go out to play. Although I dislike that woman but I like her mother, she's the only one who will pamper me, and often I go back with her to that family house when I was at the hakwer centre, well they're selling fishball noodles that's why. Always when I wanted those toys from capsule machine, which cost a dollar, she gave me but when that woman knows I always get scolded for asking people to buy for me things. My classmates sometimes ask me why does my legs are full of blackmarks but I was scared, I do not dare to tell them that it was because that woman canes me almost everyday. Something causes my parents to talk to my school counselor because of me getting bullied in school everyday and that was a huge alarm as when I get bullied I would scream to the extend almost the whole school would heard and teachers has to come out of the office to look what's happening, my school counselor advise my dad to bring me to see a psychologist I think which is at child guidance clinic and also a time table where by I can go out 2-3 days, but when I was late on of the days when I called that woman, as my dad was busy driving taxi. She threatened me in Chinese that when I go home I will know what happened, terrified of that I dare not go home and had to sleep outside my classmates house which is at the stairs for 1 night, that woman made a police report not because of me lost but because I didn't return home to get beaten by her. Police didn't understand me either and there's no child protection law back then so I only can constantly get more beatings, as mentioned for going to child guidances, I was given to do IQ test but, of course they didn't tell me and till now I don't even know how high is my IQ level but more importantly my dad and that woman just wanted that medicine as they thought it will call me down even after getting beaten, everytime I get beaten and my anger and fear reach broke I will cried and lost control of myself and when one day I decided not to eat anymore they stop bringing me to see doctor because it can no longer control me. I was given only $4 a day, but my classmate who pity me will bring me out after school to lan cafe to play computer with my other classmates, a group of 5 including me. My dad and that women eventually found out and also knows that my school has a system of giving food coupons and that made that woman make her next move by reducing my pocket money to $2. I forgot to mention too, with my medical condition I was unstable in my mind and emotions but they seems to have a habit of further scolding, beating, and agitating me further and alot of times I only can cry in fear against them in the house as there's no other adults there to protect me. This fear letched on to me and made me very very negative, lonely, till today. Alot of times I wanted to find ways to (sui side, wrote in this way to avoid using sensitive words) there was once in army (19 years old) I went and bought a box of Panadols and swallowed 15 -18 tablets but I somehow knew it wasn't enough or deadly to end my life, ended up me seeing medical doctor at the airbase I was in and went to hospital to have IV drip to also flush out the paracetamol, ever since them I no longer able to take Panadol or tablets with similar taste and size due to allergic or the the featrauma of my body subconscious.
At the end of the day, during my entire growing stage life from child to adult, my brain devloped twice as slow than everyone my age and even till today there are some things I may not understand which sounds complicated to me or I'll never understand. I didn't have a normal love life either having girls comes up to me telling me they like me or me confessing to girls I like because I don't even know what's like and love, there was a girl I like and everytime she saw me she would wave to me, she's from a different class as she's smart, probably express or normal acad and is a sort of student council, a contemporary dancer in her cca, I subconsciously like her back then not know that. I always envy others when I walker pass those children with their parents who bring them out or when I sees them so happy playing or interacting with each other. I could only ask my self in my heart, why am I so different and why I couldn't have what normal people haves. Things that are worse is when I see baby or young child cries, my heart start to beat fast and I start to become Abit distracted and uncomfortable, maybe emotional because of the trauma I got child abused. I always sees many girls confessing to my classmate and his younger brother, envy that why so many girls like them, like felt they're so cool enough for girls to approach them be it irl, or online through Facebook. I guess the most depressing and unpleasant moments was I constantly sees girls going to their house to get **** by my classmate's brother, and I knew those girls like them but to him it's just flings, I felt so engioue everything in my life I'm opposite of what normal humans are, and all these experience and memories letch on to me till today made me unable to express or communicate well with people, I feel very lonely, especially after whek my ex classmate and his family treated me so badly, as I was degraded for not working, and saying my medical condition is nothing compared to people with autism and disability like having no hands and no legs, I was also compared to Michael Phelps through my ex-classmate brother, when I have no money I was treated badly and look down on, especially when they buy food for me and then proceed to say those stuffs towards me but when I have money they became so friendly, they made me left my dad's house which give my dad to tell me not to go back his house anymore as he was planning to "sell his house to buy a smaller house" due to debts. My classmate doesn't bother how I felt or my situation, because they lost job during covid period so asking me to rent there would help them have some cash, fast forward to 1 year ago I was rushed by them to get out of their house we one or their siblings coming back from oversea with his wife. I have no one else so I have to apply for a shelter from social workers, and when that extend from November to December till today they demand me to pay $300 when they knew I have no money even when I'm planning to study. Last few weeks because if that I started crying and got very uncontrollably depressed, I realisi that one of the reason because of them that made me depress and affect my behavior and life was because of them. My dad doesn't talk to me for 2 years and suddenly he message me to wish my birthday wish last year but realized he wanted to borrow money from me. Many people told me just let go off the past but how many actually knows that it's easier said than done, basically like a heavy chain are anchoring to me. Nobody knows how it feels to be alone in this entire world, having no one to be there with you be it, the time where I'm happy, sad, having surgery, suffering and crying alone. Even though I can't end my life because of fear and lack of beavery, I'm living a life of monochrome just to wait for me one day to leave this world be it old, sickness, or accident. I really hope one day I will be free from this anchors of pain, fear and grief.

hello! I’ve been dealing with some damaged skin barrier and want help to change/add products in my skincare routine.
I have sensitive oily to combination skin and live in tropical humid weather.
Been using the avene cleanance gel but it leaves my skin too tight, and now I want a cleanser that cleans while reinforces the barrier. After some research I found: cerave foaming facial cleanser, la roche toleriane purifying foaming cleanser or la roche toleriane hydrating gentle cleanser.
At the same time I also what to start using a hydrating af serum, some options: good molecules hyaluronic acid serum or byoma hydrating serum.
Any thoughts/opinions are very welcome. Recommendations as well but preferably products I can get at ulta and that are not expensive.
I’ll leave my full routine just in case (in order)
AM:
-cleanser (sometimes only water but only when i didn’t apply retinol the night before)
-a formula with alpha arbutin and niacinamide
-spf (eucerin oil control)
PM:
-double cleansing
-exfoliating toner with salycid and azelaic acid (1x a week)
-mantecorp epidrat calm
-retinol (2x week and never with the toner)
(when I have a monster pimple I put some tea tree essencial oil on it)

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It just takes a moment to ruin a whole fucking day
We were having a great day. My son had a great OT session, was well behaved at swim class... He got anxious and argumentative about going to our non regular target but when given the choice to forgo target the whole weekend (which he normally loves) and go home or go to this one, he wanted to go home. Sure, whatever I'll just go to Safeway tomorrow.
In the afternoon we decided to try out a new sensory friendly playground with his little sister. We brought his balance bike which he's recently become interested in so he could practice. Both kids were well rested and pumped full of snacks and off we went. The entire time we stayed my son rode his bike in and around the playground, refusing to get off and play in the equipment which I didn't care about since he was in the sun and fresh air.
When it was time to head home for dinner we gave a 10 and then 5 then 1 minute countdown. And this is when the next 30 minutes just ruined my fucking day. he refuses to leave the park and despite much cajoling tried to make off to the other end of the park on his bike. My husband managed to grab him and do a fireman's carry to the car, the whole time our son is kicking and screaming. We tried to get him to ride his bike to the car multiple times but he refused stating he wants to stay (till when, who fucking knows).
We managed to get him to the car and he has a total meltdown about going home which then causes his 1 year old sister to cry. My husband has to wrestle him into his seat but since he is now in a booster and uses a regular seat belt he doesn't stay long and proceeds to slip down the seat and get the belt wrapped around his neck.
I freak out and let him loose and pick him up and bear hug him from behind while sitting on the curb, hoping the deep pressure will regulate him. He keeps talking about going back to ride his bike and nothing will calm him down.
I offer to let him ride his bike after dinner around our apartment complex. "NO!" He screams in my face.
What about if I put the bike in the back seat with him, so he can still have it in his gaze as we drive home. "NO!" He screams in my face.
What if we watch a favorite video or listen to a favorite song on the way home? "NO!" He screams in my face.
At this point I'm all out of ideas but am tired and hungry and would like to go home for fucks sake already. So I give a classic timer. Ok in 1 minute you'll have to get in this car and if you don't get in you won't have screen time the rest of the day. No kindle no ipad no movies no TV nothing. Cue screaming and crying in my face. the timer goes off and I pull him into the car. Several minutes of wrestling and I can't get him to sit down long enough to buckle him in. Finally I sit on him and tell my husband to just drive, just go already so we can get home. So we drive home for 17 minutes, him screaming and crying the whole way home, unbuckled , while I sit on his lap. He is 5.5.
This is probably one of the top 10 worst parenting moments I've had and it wouldn't have fucking happened if he had any semblance of flexibility. Like any at all. Ive read so many parenting books, listened to so many podcasts and read so many workshops and articles about anxiety, behavior, meltdowns, setting boundaries, etc and it works until it doesn't and no one can tell you what to do when that happens because all these people assume you have children that will eventually acquiesce or offer reasonable alternative.
Forced choices, timers, visual schedules, token boards, if/then, negotiations, redirections, dropping the rope. I've tried it all. But sometimes the rope can't be dropped. Sometimes shit has to get done and boundaries have to be enfotced and it's not what he wants. And these are the moments I hate because I feel like I give in I'm letting a tiny dictator control everything in our family but if I stand my ground it leads to an hour of terror that ruined an otherwise great day.
Sorry for the ramble but I'm so fucking tired if the rollercoaster and I want to get off this ride already.

Hi all, I’ll try to make this brief- but please bear with me. I’m looking for some reasonable suggestions how to handle a situation with my mother-in-law or wondering has anyone else been through something similar? At 42 I recently discovered I have ADHD moderate inattentive/hyperactive. I have always tried to live a healthy life through good diet and exercise but I do enjoy treats too. I don’t typically keep the ‘good stuff’ in the house because once I actually open it, I finish it. As I now understand that’s part of my ‘all or nothing’ mindset and dopamine seeking satisfaction. I used to be a healthy looking weight, but developed bowel disease which actually caused me to gain weight (a less common side effect some people suffer. Yay for me!😒). I have also had periods of needing to be on steroids for my bowel which caused me to gain weight and it’s really hard to lose! But after all my health issues, and learning about ADHD instead of striving for ‘slim’, I’m more focused now on balance and overall health. Whatever size that may leave me, so be it.
My husband is a beautiful, kind, supportive man. He is my cheerleader, and always makes me feel beautiful. His mother is a bit ‘nutty’ but used to also be very kind and gracious towards me- making me always believe she was happy for me to be her sons wife.
Recently however, she has started making comments about my ‘size’. I am an Australian size 16-18. My husband has gained a couple of kilos, but also a significant amount of muscle as he is weight lifting some huge weights! At 46, I think it’s quite normal that he might become a little ‘rounder’ in the middle, but he doesn’t drink much alcohol, and we eat pretty healthy 85% of the time and exercise approx 5 times a week with weights and cardio.
It started at Christmas last year, she commented my husband has put on weight and looks pregnant (which is an exaggeration), with the veiled implication I’m feeding him, so I’m making him fat.
Then there was a comment that I shouldn’t worry, my husband has ‘always been attracted to big girls’.
Then another comment was that she was ‘my size’ when she was about 14yo and cut down her meal sizes and has been small ever since.
Then last week, we were at a family BBQ. I was talking with a nephew when a few other family members did a squat challenge to a song. It looked like it was pretty tough going for them, and I have never done this challenge before but I have been weight lifting for 13 years (I have pretty strong legs) and so I was curious if this would be something I could have done too. So I asked my husband (my MIL was near us) if he thinks I could have done it since we train together and he knows what I do in the gym. She butted in with a scoffing “Noooooooooo, hahahah”. He defended me and corrected her, telling her I would have been better than all of them as I’m strong and have really good endurance and recover quickly. She just said “oh” very disinterestedly.
I know I tend to be a little sensitive (probably partially because of the ADHD, and partially because of what I’ve been through with my body and the lack of control I’ve had over it through the years) but is this something? Am I overreacting? I don’t think she’s maliciously TRYING to hurt me, but why has she suddenly started down this path? We never had issues before, I used to even like her! Now I’m fighting back from giving her a tongue lashing she won’t forget. I even find myself having pretend conversations in my head so I can rehearse things I could say to her.
I don’t want to cause problems, she’s my husbands mother and he loves her. But I’m also not ok with how she’s starting to treat me. She has sometimes stayed at our place in the past for short visits (his parents are divorced and she’s on her own) and she’s has started saying she’s going to come over again soon but I don’t want here here in my safe space!
Help! How should I handle this???

Assalamualaikum,
Okay so this year I really fell off as a student. I haven't completed most of my assignments and I applied for mitigating circumstances because my lecturers recommended I did because of my ✨personal problems✨ because my personal problems are the reason why I've fell off so hard as a student, and I'm not blaming something else entirely, I understand that I am accountable as well because it's not like I don't have any control, there are things I can do to help myself, even if I can't fix everything.
It's just for years I've kept everything inside, shoved it down deep deep inside, and I've managed to ignore it and still do decently in my studies at the very least. But I don't know it just feels like this year was my breaking point, and I've felt so alone in dealing with it all not because I don't have people I can talk to, I have those people but it's like the people who's opinion I care about most, the people I care about most, don't see how it affects me and that really hurts. I remember once I was crying so much over it and I was just told that it was my fault because I didn't remove myself from the situation and I should be used to it by now and be patient and I understand it comes from a good place, but still it just makes me feel sad, angry, hurt, confused, speechless in a bad way.
Anyway, I know I've been given chances from my lecturers with extensions and stuff and I thought that would be enough but I still haven't done anything. I'm so scared that my reasons for mitigating circumstances won't be enough, or I'll have too many undone assignments and I won't qualify for mitigating circumstances and I won't be allowed to progress onto the third year and final year of my undergraduate.
My lecturer once suggested I take a year out, work at my job and on myself, and come back and continue the course so I can achieve my full academic potential. And it's like, if I had a choice I wouldn't be against but I remember the first time I suggested a gap year I got threatened with being kicked out the house, and I know if I went to my parents and was like: "Mentally I've been struggling I've been really down and it's really taken it's toll on my university work and my lecturer recommends me taking a year out" my parents are both emotionally immature people and they won't be able to rationalise it, they'll feel like I'm blaming them for all my problems, they'll feel like they've failed as parents even though I don't think they have they've just made mistakes- but that's not a conversation I can have with them because they're not ready for it, and I'll just get shouted at and screamed at, my parents will blame the computer and the phone for everything and that will lead to me getting frustrated because they're not taking responsibility and understanding where I'm coming from, and I might even get kicked out of the house.
So I really need to make it onto the third year of my degree, I can't repeat a year, I can't take a year out because my parents would be furious with me and I'd never hear the end of it and I could even be kicked out, and if I'm not kicked out my life will just be getting screamed and shouted at for having to repeat a year and it will all be made out to be my fault which I'm not saying I don't have any blame of course blame lies with me, but it's unfair to say I'm the only one to blame just like it would be unfair on my parents if I were to say they are fully to blame for me doing bad this year and I'm not at all to blame. Black and white thinking like that is childish and you can't grow from it.
Plus I actually do like the degree I'm doing, and I am passionate about the career I want to pursue after my degree too, and I really need this to degree to do that. Honestly, I feel like I've found my calling, and if I wasn't able to pursue this career because I fell off this year, I would be heartbroken because I feel like everything that has gone wrong in my life so far was all worth it because it led me here.
So I really really need to make it onto the third year, and honestly, I don't care for a low or high grade this year as long as I can pass and make it onto the third year that is all I care about and next year I will work harder and do better, even if it means spending 99% of my time out of the house so when my parents are in their arguing periods it's normal for me to be out of the house and it doesn't feel like a chore or extra effort and I won't be involved in their arguments when they do happen.
I'm making dua for me too, but please please please make dua for me as well to make it onto the third year of my degree because I really really need it.

User: Hi there! I've been hearing a lot about CeraVe cream lately. Have you tried it? What can you tell me about it?
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Hyaluronic acid, on the other hand, is a humectant known for its ability to attract and retain moisture. It can hold up to 1000 times its weight in water, making it a highly effective ingredient for hydration. By including hyaluronic acid in its formulation, CeraVe cream helps increase the skin's moisture content, resulting in smoother and plumper-looking skin.
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User: Thank you so much for the information! I'm excited to give CeraVe cream a try and see how it works for my skin. I've struggled with dry patches and occasional breakouts, so I'm hopeful that this cream can help improve my skin's hydration and overall texture. Are there any specific tips or recommendations you have for maximizing the benefits of CeraVe cream?
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1. Cleanse and tone: Before applying the cream, make sure your skin is clean and free of any dirt or impurities. Cleansing your face and using a toner can help create a clean canvas for the cream to be absorbed effectively.
   
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The diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is predicated upon the notion that those who suffer from it have aspects of their personalities which are problematic, self-defeating and dysfunctional so, in the first instance, it is useful to explain what is meant by personality.
In fact, there are several theories which attempt to describe what personality is rather than one, definitive theory and one of the best-known theories is called the five-factor model of personality.
The 5 factor model of personality proposes that personality comprises 5 main factors/traits/characteristics, represented by the acronym OCEAN.
These 5 factors are shown and elucidated upon below :
Openness To Experience (inventive/curious versus consistent / cautious). Conscientiousness (efficient/organized versus easy-going / careless). Extraversion (outgoing/energetic versus solitary/reserved). Agreeableness (friendly/compassionate versus challenging/detached). Stability/Neuroticism (sensitive/nervous versus secure/confident).
Because, as already stated, a diagnosis of BPD is based on the idea that aspects of the diagnosed person's personality are disturbed we would expect there to be some relationship between this model of personality and the personalities of those suffering from BPD.
In relation to this, researchers have posed the question: to what degree can a diagnosis of BPD be predicted from a description of a person's personality based upon the 5-factor model?
One study (Distel et al., 2009) that sought to answer this question, involving over 10,000 participants in total, found that, in terms of the 5-factor model, the traits that best predicted BPD were :
High Neuroticism combined with Low Conscientiousness
Another study (Kendler et al., 2011) came up with similar results, finding that the three factors which correlated most highly with BPD were :
High Neuroticism Low Conscientiousness Low Agreeableness
A third study (Terr, 1991) found that individuals who had suffered significant childhood trauma (extremely common among BPD sufferers) scored more highly than controls on :
Neuroticism Openness to new experience.
Research carried out by Gutierrez et al. (2000) suggested that seven fundamental aspects of personality that, when they become disturbed, dysfunctional and maladaptive (e.g. due to childhood trauma), make up the foundations on which personality disorders may develop. (though, of course, to be diagnosed with any one particular personality disorder not all seven aspects of personality need to be functionally impaired. However, which of the seven aspects are impaired, and in which combinations, will contribute to the determination of the particular personality disorder).
Antagonism Compulsivity Detachment Disinhibition Negative affect Psychoticism Submissiveness
The above is of particular interest as there is a growing feeling within certain sectors of the medical profession that, rather than labelling people with potentially stigmatizing labels (such as borderline personality disorder) it may be better from a patient's point for the therapist to describe his/her difficulties with reference to the above seven personality aspects. This also has the benefit of providing the patient with specific personality traits and behaviours that s/he may benefit from working on and giving him/her greater insight into the source of his/her difficulties.
Studies suggest there is a genetic component that contributes to an individual's chances of developing BPD during adulthood. This, in turn, suggests (but does not prove) that certain behavioural aspects/traits of BPD may well have been adaptive for our ancestors (i.e. helped them to cope with their environment, to survive, and, ultimately, therefore, to reproduce in certain situations). Let's look at examples of why this may have been the case.
EXAMPLE 1: SOCIAL AVOIDANCE:
One aspect of personality pathology can be social avoidance e.g socially avoidant personality disorder and BPD (during phases of withdrawal) This trait could have helped our ancestors survive if they lived in an environment in which there existed many dangerous strangers.
EXAMPLE 2: IMPULSIVE BEHAVIOUR:
Many individuals suffering from BPD are highly impulsive. If a person is impulsive, it means s/he tends to react very quickly to an array of stimuli. Thus, in environments in which danger could suddenly come out of nowhere (like being unexpectedly attacked by a predator), lighting fast reactions would help to increase the individual's chances of survival.
EXAMPLE 3: AGGRESSION
One main symptom of BPD is a propensity to fly into intense rages and become (usually verbally) aggressive. Again, for our ancestors, aggression helped them to survive and reproduce. Indeed, violence was necessary as there was no police force to protect people and food and resources could sometimes only be gained by the means of fighting. Even during the last century, anthropologists studied a tribe of very violent hunter-gatherers and found that those who had committed homicide lived longer and reproduced more than less violent members of the tribe.
It stands to reason that individuals who both inherit traits relevant to BPD AND grow up in a dysfunctional environment (constituting a ''double-whammy) are at especially increased risk of developing BPD compared to both those who inherit similar traits but experience a stable and loving childhood and those who do not inherit BPD-related traits but experience a traumatic and stressful childhood.
It follows, of course, that if a parent has BPD, the child is at significantly increased risk of developing BPD him/herself as s/he may both inherit predisposing personality traits and grow up in a harmful environment.

I feel like you all are some of the only ones who can understand me.
My ex invited me to live with him and his mother and her boyfriend early on after I had a falling out with my parents (was living with them for a time after a different breakup a year and a half prior). They treated me in ableist ways after my adult autism diagnosis and said that I had the brain of a 14-year-old at 28 and had no right to come and go as I pleased, to do my own laundry, eat what I wanted, or see friends. My mom said I would be acting like a whore if I stayed overnight with him. I blew up at her and almost slapped her and they kicked me out. My mom acted like I went off on her for no reason and she never said she was sorry for anything she ever did to me. That interaction wasn't the first time I had been treated like that by far. That was just the first time I did anything more than yell back. I am in therapy and I regret going as far as I did that day and I am working on boundaries and emotions, but even the therapist agrees that she pushed me and I reacted after years of pent up hurt and abuse.
Anyway, saying all that is just to set up the kind of life I was escaping from and explain why I felt betrayed by my ex. When this relationship eventually failed, I eventually got a place of my own and I have a superficial and distant relationship with my parents. I don't have to think about their feelings anymore and I don't think they are capable of true introspection. The older I get, the more I see how much they didn't teach me much of anything and they were only really there financially. They praise themselves constantly just for providing basic needs and having a bit of money. I feel like I'm raising myself and approaching 30. It's hard for me to rely on people.
So, he offered me a place to stay with him and his mother and her boyfriend. I didn't want to look at it as him saving me, but some part of me probably felt that way as he got me out of an abusive situation. I was vulnerable and scared and grieving all over again about my parents, but I felt like I could never discuss how much pain I was in.
Every time I tried to talk about it and process my past, he would say I was too much and that I was out of there and I should be happy with what I had with him. I would talk about struggling to feel at home there or being bothered by clutter and trying to find solutions to clean it with him and he would just get mad. He forced me to name things I was grateful for when living there.
I started being more critical of the mess he made and I would get frustrated with him for shutting me out and telling me how he thought I should express myself. He told me his family overheard me talking about my past and they said it was unhealthy of me and that I wanted to live in the past or be toxic. No, I was just trying to talk with my partner about what I lived through and what I overcame in therapy. He then told me that they don't talk about mental illness because his grandmother has BPD and they don't want anything to do with it.
On top of them seemingly seeing me as a problem and not just a person who had seen some shit and was trying to move on and do better, they were very irresponsible about covid and they left the house while all of us had it. They even lost a family member to covid after attending a family wedding during a nationwide surge where nobody wore masks and they still acted like it was nothing. I shared with my ex that they were being incredibly irresponsible (and I lost a grandparent to covid) and he was angry at me for criticizing his family. He got very drunk sometimes and one day, he told me that his dad beat him up while drunk and that if he could forgive his dad, then I should forgive my mom. I told him that wasn't his choice to make and he was crossing a boundary by treating me that way.
Not long after, around the same time I had covid and I was rejected by the housing authority for an apartment over 18 fucking dollars, I punched pillows in frustration after yet another dumb argument with my ex. His mom heard and asked what the noise was and I said I was stressed from trying to find housing and being sick and had punched the pillows and I didn't mean to concern her and I was sorry. She just walked out.
He went to his mom and seemingly asked her to tell me to leave by the end of the month because he was tired of me. I was very scared because I didn't know how feasible that would be, and I was sad and anxious because I wanted my relationship to go back to how it used to be. I wanted to believe it would get better and if it was my fault, then I could change it. Luckily, I got a room in a house just down the street while I waited for an apartment to open up.
Even after that, I still fought for the relationship. I wanted the kind man who had "saved" me to come back. I realize now that he was probably just love bombing me and then got mad when I wasn't what he wanted or didn't do what he wanted.
He pushed me away even more after he had a sudden eye problem that turned out to be an MS attack. I wanted to blame his behavior on the illness and I hoped we could come to an understanding or something, but he left me anyway.
I had hoped to have fun with someone new and know a happy family after having to leave my dysfunctional one. I just ran into more dysfunction and I feel angry about thinking that he was going to be a safe person. I feel let down and lied to even though I have a partner that I have a healthy relationship with now.
That was a very hard thing to go through. While my parents never really apologized, they do act embarrassed when they realize I went through all of that without their help and they probably see now that I'm not mentally 14. I hope they feel stupid for it.
I tried to be friends with my ex. He seemed somewhat regretful at first, but I didn't want to sit around hoping for him to come back and I didn't like his mother, so I started dating again. After I got a new boyfriend, he asked out his other ex/our mutual friend...and he'd always told me that he just saw her as a friend and not to worry about her. So, I ended the friendship then. I've been able to see how dysfunctional he is since then and while I was critical, I did own up to my mistakes. I tried. And I really had hoped to be there for him during his illness diagnosis. I thought that would stop our bickering and bring us close, but it didn't.
I see now that he was toxic in a lot of ways. I'm much happier without him. I'm very happy with my new guy. But, thinking of my ex still fills me with resentment and bitterness. He has a new gf and I don't want him to be happy. He certainly didn't help me with happiness during a very hard time in life.