One of the most brutal experiments ever carried out in behavior science, the "hope" experiment, involved drowning rats. One Dr. Richter wanted to figure out if stories of humans surviving seemingly impossible odds had something to do with the concept of hope. So he started drowning rats, by the buckets-full. After drowning several hundred, he noted that on average rats could last for roughly fifteen minutes before they stopped swimming and sank. That was the control. For the other half of this macabre experiment, Dr. Richter would rescue the rats just as they were drowning, give them a brief moment of respite, then drop them back into the drowning tank. The rats that had been rescued - the rats that had been made to believe that they might have a chance at survival - those rats continued swimming for another two hours. By giving them that one experience of relief, Dr. Richter had shown that an animal can push itself far past its apparent limits, so long as there is some form of temporary relief and recovery from the situation.
Now imagine you are waiting for the shinkansen when the unthinkable happens - a massive earthquake hits Tokyo, leveling buildings and triggering a huge tsunami. You somehow survive, but are trapped under rubble, with freezing cold water pouring down on your head. You've been trapped like that, in that tight spot, shivering, injured, every aftershock tremor filling your heart will cold dread. You think this must be the end, you are at your limit, and there is nothing left to do but close your eyes and hope you drift off to a place that is more gentle and warm than the cold, dark place that will be your tomb. But then, somewhere near your face, you see it - the soft yellow light of a Boss Coffee machine. You can reach it, if you stretch out your arm, and sure enough with the last bit of your strength you manage to tap the vend button. A hot aluminum can of Boss Coffee rolls out of the machine, and by some miracle you manage to catch it in your arms. The warm liquid fills your belly, and gives your soul the strength of will that only coffee strong and creamy enough to be called "the boss" can bring. You're going to last, no matter how long you must wait. A few days more, you are sure of it, someone will dig you out. A tear of happiness rolls down your cheek, and you press the button again. And you drink more coffee, like a boss.

F 37, Caucasian, 173 cm, 62 kg, haemochromatosis (diagnosed by genetic test), endometriosis; eat meat, no alcohol, no medication: My liver enzymes have always been higher than they should be since they got tested first when I was around 16 years old. I later got diagnosed with haemochromatosis and noticed that my values usually went down a bit after I donated blood. Last year my new doctor, I live in a different city now, called me up worried about my high values. On Nov. 9th 2022 they were at GOT 108, GPT 169, GGT 140. I had stopped drinking a month before due to other reasons. I still don't drink and it's been 8 months now without alcohol or any type of medication like ibuprofen that I sometimes but not regularly took for pain due to endometriosis. I drank too much, no doubt, but was not a heavy drinker. My doctor thought it's due to the alcohol and even suggested I don't have haemochromatosis because my ferritin level is so low. I started boxing, I changed my doctor and the new one just ran a blood test and this came back (I included pictures of the lab and also a picture of the recent history of my enzymes and the two dates when I donated blood here https://imgur.com/gallery/OE9Y5kg). I hope it's readable and I am sorry that it is in German. I am just so worried and would really like to know what's going on with me. I am chronically tired but manage to be quite active during the day. I can keep up with the box training but it's tough. I wake up tired. What other values should get tested? My other doctor tested bilirubin and so on in November but they came all back ok, I believe, and I don't have the record of the results unfortunately. I am worried sick. What is going on with me and is it safe to keep donating blood despite the low ferritin level?
I currently take omega 3, magnesium, sometimes zinc and selenium, and high dosage turmeric. Due to low vitamin d levels I have been taking vitamin d for 6,5 months now. I don't smoke and I don't take recreational drugs.
My ecg came back fine, and I have an appointment next week for an echocardiography. My new doctor wants to have my heart checked due to haemochromatosis and me boxing. I have an appointment with a haemochromatosis and liver doctor in 5 months 😞
I would be so grateful if someone could pinpoint me in the right direction in the meantime. Have a lovely day and thank you for reading.

First time DM here, running the campaign for 6 players (mostly first time too). I've added the Matt Perkins puzzle box addition and introduced the Black Spider (TBS) in the Stone Giant Tavern brawl, where they helped out the players and gave one of them a healing potion (secretly poison - it's not been used yet).
The party have absolutely no interest in handing over the puzzle box, but they've asked TBS to come with them to the Redbrand Hideout in exchange for any magic items they find there. Obviously TBS is going to betray them and try to steal the puzzlebox, but I'm not sure when would be most impactful? At the moment I'm torn between two options:
1 - just attack when the party is vulnerable
2 - attack when someone trys to drink the potion / poison
3 - when they try to apprehend glasstaff, hoping by this point they're weakened
Either way TBS would cast Command on the character with the puzzlebox and tell them to hand it over before attacking. I've then given them a necklace with single use Dimension Door on it to escape.
Does one of these sound more impactful than the others, or am I best to wing it and pick the one that's most appropriate in the session?

​
About me:

• Engineer
• Breadwinner
• Hindi pinanganak na mayaman but di papanaw na mahirap
• I don't go to gyms but I casually do calisthenics
• I do night runs and into hiking, boulder and freediving
• tried smoking but not really for me
• I drink socially, mababa alc. tolerance ko but as it turns out I last longer with hard drinks
• generous pagdating sa ambagan
• werk is lifer but not anymore 🤘

I do travel as well but we can explore parks, museums, cafes, any landmarks or go camping basta wag naman bilad sa araw. respectful at lalong di matapobre. Kinda awkward at first but when comfy, nagiging witty and kalog na.

After taking a bath wearing a lungi, I came to the dining table. I took a seat, and Abhilasha served me roti and dal. While eating, Abhilasha kneeled before me and pulled my lungi apart. She inserted her hand into my briefs and pulled my cock out. Seeing it still swollen, she played with it.
She said, “I can’t believe it. You are still hard after shooting so much cum a few minutes before. At this age, you are incredible. Shall I suck it, Darling?”
Looking down at her said, “My penis is sore from 2 hours of jerking. Please let me have lunch in peace, Abhilasha.”
Abhilasha: I will miss this live dildo till evening. You have your lunch while I suck my toy. (she removed her kameez, baring her breasts) If you want, you can play with my tits, Mama.
I wondered what had gotten into this girl. The morning she was an educated shy housewife, and now she was behaving like a real slut. I quickly finished my lunch while Abhilasha sucked my cock, trying to make it cum, but no. I washed my hand on the plate, pushed her head away from my cock and got up.
Abhilasha, too, got up, and I saw a hint of anger on her face, pushing her leggings and panties down to reveal her pussy. I saw her pubic hair triangle. She came forward and took my cock in her hand.
She said, “See Mama, how my pussy is burning. I have been living like a saint. I enjoyed sex with my first boyfriend during my college days. The second BF was not that good, and my husband is a fucking loser. Please satisfy me, and I will do whatever you ask. Being a married woman, I can’t lower my image in society, begging my male friends for sex.”
She started crying, placing her face on my shoulders, and crushing her big boobs on my arms. I felt pity for this horny bitch. But I knew there was a child hidden in her. I knew the frustration of not getting enough sex from my nephew made her behave like this.
Patting her head, I said, “I know, Abhilasha, but I am late for the meeting. If you want, you can rub my cock on your pussy and satisfy yourself. But no penetration. I won’t be satisfied with a quick fuck. We will think about it in the evening.”
Abhilasha looked up at me sobbing, murmuring thanks and began sliding my cockhead on her bottom lips. She was dripping a lot, wetting my cock with her juices. Abhilasha was concentrating on her clit. My hands went to her back, and cupping her soft ass cheeks pulled her into me.
She moaned and said, “For a moment, I thought you would desert me, seeing me act like a kid. Thanks, Darling, for not letting me down. I will fulfil all your desires tonight. Just tell me what to do.”
I was kissing her forehead, cheeks, and chin, wetting her face, hands firmly gripping her ass. She was busy rubbing my cockhead up and down her pussy lips.
Then the doorbell rang.
I was frightened and pushed her away. I said, “It must be Raman. Get dressed and answer the door. I am stinking. I will take a bath and meet him later.”
Halfheartedly, Abhilasha let my cock, pulled her leggings up and picked up her discarded kameez. I rushed to the guest bedroom. I went to the bathroom and opened the shower. This was the second shower of the day. After 5 minutes, I heard the door knock and Abhilasha’s voice.
What the hell she wants now, I wondered. I opened the door, and she came in, kneeled before me and started sucking my cock. Her dress was also getting wet, along with me. I pulled her up, slapped her cheek, and said, “What has got into you, Abhilasha.”
Abhilasha, crying, said, “Hit me, Darling, I deserve it. I will go mad if you don’t have sex with me today, please, Mama.”
Me: Was it Raman?
Abhilasha: Yes, Mama, I told him you are taking a bath, and he, too, went to take a bath.
Me: Get dressed. You are soaked wet, Abhilasha.
Abhilasha: Am I not attractive, Mama? Don’t you love my body?
Me: That’s the problem. You are young, beautiful and got a figure to die for. I am an old man. What do you see in me?
Abhilasha: This is what I like in you, Mama. Men would have mauled my body, and you behave like a gentleman. You are handsome, well-mannered and know how to tease a girl with your deadly weapon.
Me: Please leave. I want to meet Raman in a sober state, not an excited one.
Abhilasha kissed my nipples, turned to leave, and said, “See my figure Mama and remember that this will be waiting for you.” She swirled around, showing her body curves as her wet dress clung to her. My cock jumped on, seeing her deliciously curvy body.
I shook my head, finished the bath, dressed and came to the living room. By then, Raman was having his lunch. I wished him and asked about his work. He was in a cheerful mood and asked me to have lunch. I said I had already. Abhilasha was a good host and took good care of me.
I left, saying I was getting late for the meeting. The meeting was in the Taj Deccan Hotel until 8 pm. It was successful. I had dinner with my clients. After they left, I went to the bar lounge alone and started drinking whiskey. I was wondering how to go to Raman’s place.
Now I knew what Abhilasha had in her mind for tonight. I didn’t want to have sex with my nephew’s wife in his house, under his nose. My mobile rang, and it was Raman calling. He asked me when I was returning. I told him I already had dinner and told them not to wait for me.
He requested me to come ASAP. I took another two drinks and left the hotel by 10.30. I reached Raman’s house by 11 pm, and he opened the door. I said, “I am tired, Raman. I need to sleep. We will talk in the morning.” I went to the guestroom, changed my clothes to a lungi and T-shirt and hit the bed.
I heard Raman and Abhilasha talking but couldn’t hear what they were talking about. I tried to sleep. After fifteen minutes, I heard the door knock, warily I got up, opened the door and saw Raman. He came in.
Abhilasha entered the bedroom behind him, wearing a white silk saree. Raman was in shorts and a T-shirt. I was worried about what was in store for me now.
Raman: Abhilasha wants to say something to you, Uncle.
Me: Can’t we talk in the morning, Raman?
Abhilasha: You promised me that you would come to me tonight, Mama.
I was dumbstruck on hearing her. She had the audacity to chide me in front of her hubby for not going to fuck her! I helplessly looked at Raman.
Raman: I know what happened between you two in the morning. I am not mad at either of you. She has desires I cannot fulfil, and I don’t mind her getting them from you instead of my lousy friends. I am tired of them talking and laughing behind my back. I have changed my job twice because of this. Please help her Uncle.
Me: What are you saying, Raman? She is a child and has wild imaginations of love and sex.
Abhilasha: I will behave like a good girl Mama. Give me a baby and make my life worth something. As I said, my cycle is ripe to conceive if I have good healthy sperm. Just spend three nights with me. I promise I won’t even look at other men once I get pregnant. I will be a good wife to Raman.
Me: Why can’t you get her pregnant, Raman?
Raman: My sperm count is very low. Uncle. I have got erection problem with premature ejaculation. I don’t want an unknown man’s child in her womb. She doesn’t like going for IVF and wants to carry her baby herself. I can’t see her suffering, Uncle. You have to help her.
Abhilasha came near me, placing her hand on my chest and saying,” I promise I will take good care of your baby and nephew. I am sick of getting fucked by random horny men who want to devour only my body and don’t want my love. After these three nights, I won’t trouble you, Mama. Even if I don’t conceive, I will remain faithful to Raman.
I looked at the couple. Sighing said, “Only three nights, Abhilasha. And you will stop behaving like a slut like you did in the morning with me. You will stop seeing your male friends too.”
Abhilasha smiled, gave a hug, went got laid on the bed and said, “Yes, Yes, Darling. I won’t even look at other men. Anyway, I got my dildo to satisfy me if I get horny. Raman will help me with the dildo, won’t you Raman,” and he nodded.
Me: Ok, Raman, if that is what you both wish me to do. I will send her back in an hour.
Abhilasha: No, darling, Raman will stay. Watch us having sex, and he may learn something from you.
I was in a fix. She wanted her husband to see me fucking her like a cuckold hubby. I saw him sitting on the bed beside his wife’s left side. Shaking my head, got on the bed, between her legs and tried to pull her saree up her legs.
Abhilasha stopped me and said, “I don’t want you to just FUCK me. I want you to make love to me like a newly wedded bride. Just imagine your first night with Suma aunty and make love to me like that, Darling.”
I removed my T-shirt, got laid on her right, rested on my left elbow, and pulled her saree pallo revealing her white blouse. Abhilasha’s breasts flesh was trying to pop out from the blouse top. I inserted my fingers between her cleavage and unhooked her blouse to see her bra.
While removing the blouse from her shoulders, my hand went down to her stomach. I felt her smooth, warm skin. I pulled her saree folds tucked into her petticoat near her navel. The saree came out, and I pulled it from her body. I untied the petticoat cord and pushed it from her legs.
Abhilasha was lying in her white bra and matching panties between me and her hubby. She didn’t try to cover her modesty but smiled at me, anticipating my next move. I saw her panties moist in the front and thought she had an orgasm already. I removed my lungi, pulled her over me, and embraced her firmly.
Abhilasha giggled like a little girl and gave me a peck on my lips. Not allowing her to remove her lips, started kissing her, and she kissed me back, sucking my lips. This was the first kiss between Abhilasha and me. The way she was kissing, I knew she was a good kisser.
I turned towards my right. Raman was keenly watching us kissing, and his hand was on his crotch, probably getting aroused on seeing his wife kissing me. My hands went to her back, unhooked the bra and pulled it from her shoulders, still kissing her.
Abhilasha’s naked warm breasts crushed my chest, and her Mangalsutra was stuck between us. My hands moved further down, and holding her panty’s waistband, pulled it down. Abhilasha helped me by lifting her hips. Once it came down to her knees, I pushed it down.
She shook her legs to dismantle her panties. Now her bare pussy was crushing my hard cock on the briefs. My hands were holding her ass, still kissing her. We kissed for almost five minutes. I saw her struggling to breathe. I removed my lips from hers and started kissing her earlobes, cheeks, nose and chin.
My saliva moistened her face, and she kissed me back on my cheeks. I sensed her hands moving down, trying to pull down my briefs, I rolled over and got on top of her, and she was lying close to her hubby. Abhilasha whispered in my ears, “Are you hard, Darling?”
“Didn’t you feel it, dear, when you were pressing your pussy against it?” I said loudly. Abhilasha blushed and said, “Why don’t you show your weapon to Raman Darling?”
Holding her breasts, I pulled her to her knees and stood on the bed. Abhilasha’s face was at my crotch level. I said, “Why don’t you show my cock to your husband yourself, Baby?”
Abhilasha blushing more, looked at her husband and said, “Do you want to see your Uncle’s cock, Raman?” he nodded. She pulled my briefs down, and my cock jumped at her face dripping pre-cum. I removed my legs from it and looked at Raman.
He was staring at my 8-inch hard cock with a surprised look. Maybe he never anticipated that I had a big one at this age. Abhilasha fondly held my cock and started licking off my pre-cum from the tip. She was licking it from bottom to top, stretching her tongue out.
Her one hand was playing with my balls. I looked at Raman, who was keenly watching his wife licking my cock. I thought it was time for some action. So I pushed Abhilasha back on the bed. I turned around in the 69 position and got on top of her.
I rested my knees at her head and brought my cock close to her mouth. I got between her thighs and my face near her pussy. Holding her thighs, I pushed them wider, making room for myself. Her glistening pussy lips opened up, showing her pinkish insides despite her abundant pubic hairs.
This was the first time I saw her pussy closely. I saw her throbbing clitoris and gave it a lick. Abhilasha’s body shivered at my lick. Taking her clit between my lips sucked it hard for a few seconds. She quickly took my cock into her mouth to reciprocate my sucking.
Abhilasha was gorging on my cock. Raman was close to seeing his wife sucking me like candy. I moved my tongue down, licking her juices from her lips. I dipped my tongue into her vaginal hole, trying to tongue fuck her. Abhilasha was holding my ass and slurping my cock, wetting it with her saliva.
I saw her pussy gushing out juices. I was tongue fucking her, and I was swallowing all of it. Abhilasha’s body was shaking when she was experiencing her orgasm. I thought it was time to take her, got up, and pulled my cock out of her mouth. I heard her groaning.
Lying beside her, I asked, “Do you want to play more or…” looking at both husband and wife. Abhilasha looked at me and then at her husband. Raman said, “I never thought sex would be so wonderful without actually fucking. Go ahead and enjoy yourself, dear.”
Abhilasha gave a peck on her hubby’s cheeks. Turning towards me, she asked, “Do you want me to lie down or….”
Me: Your wish Abhilasha, If you come on top, you will be in control. If you lie down, you will be at my mercy. I don’t know if you can take me deep. I can’t control myself once I start fucking.
Abhilasha: No worries, Darling, you can go deep in me as much as you want. I am not selfish. I want you to enjoy my body and my pussy.
“Your wish, Dear.” I got between her legs, spreading her legs wide and pointing my cockhead at her hole asked again, “Are you sure you want me to do this?”
“Yes, very much, Darling,” Abhilasha said, turning to Raman, asked, “Will you do the honours of pushing your Uncle’s cock inside your wife’s pussy, Dear?”
Raman and I were startled at her unusual request. I saw Raman moving towards me, seeing his wife’s pleading face. I was in a fix. I was about to fuck his wife, and he was about to help me penetrate her. I saw him holding my cock, rubbing it up and down his wife’s pussy lips.
“She loves it very much when her pussy is rubbed by a cock, Uncle,” saying he stopped rubbing, pointing my cock at her pussy said again, “Make her yours, satisfy her and give her a baby, Uncle.”
Abhilasha smiled but screamed when I pushed all my 8 inches into her in one go, pressing my cock down deep, hitting her cervix. Her orgasms had lubricated her pussy pretty much. My cock went in with extra force, and her inner muscles gripped me tightly.
I laid on her sweating body and said, “Shall I cum now, Abhilasha?”
“What? So soon? No,” Abhilasha said with panic in her eyes.
Pulling out my cock a bit, pushing it again deep, said, laughing, “I was joking, baby. I will fuck you as long as you can withstand my pounding.” I started hammering her pussy. She was receiving it like a sport showing no discomfort on her face.
I was fucking her. I found her pussy tight for my thick cock trying to milk, despite her earlier young year’s sex adventures. Abhilasha began screaming, and I thought neighbours might hear her screams. Thought of sealing her mouth with mine, but I got a wicked idea.
Looking at Raman asked him to remove his shorts and gave his wife his cock to suck. Both husband and wife were shocked hearing me. But being a good sport, Abhilasha said, “Yes, Raman, give me your cock. I want to suck it when Mama is fucking me. Both my holes will be sealed, and my long-time desire will be fulfilled.”
Raman removing his shorts and underwear, knelt before his wife, placing his cock close to her lips. I was shocked to see his tiny cock, which was about 3 inches and flaccid. Abhilasha took it fully inside her mouth and started sucking like a lollipop. I was hammering her pussy.
Occasionally I bent down, licking her nipples and trying to suck her boobs. I fucked her tight pussy for fifteen minutes and was sweating a lot. But Abhilasha was showing no discomfort and was sucking her husband’s small one happily.
Her breasts swayed all over her chest due to my thrust. I wondered how much milk she would produce if she gave birth. Still pumping her gripping pussy I asked, “Will you feed me your milk if you have a baby, Dear?”
Abhilasha removed her husband’s cock from her mouth. She looked at me with a naughty smile and said, “Of course, Darling, my soul and body is yours now, and you don’t have to ask me. You just have to order me. Come on fuck me, make me pregnant so I can feed my Darling my milk from my tits.”
I fucked her for another fifteen minutes. I was getting tired and badly needed a release. I looked at the bedside clock and saw the time was past 12. It was almost one hour before the couple came to my room. I needed to cum very urgently. I asked, “Shall I cum, Abhilasha?”
She looked at me and said, “Ok if you want to. But don’t pull off till I say so. I want to feel your dick throbbing in me.” I began to release my cum in Abhilasha’s pussy. The first three spurts were huge, filling her up. The next spurts of semen were overflowing from her pussy and wetting the sheets.
Abhilasha was kissing all over my face like a puppy showing her affection to get satisfied. My nephew was looking at us, showing any emotions. Abhilasha’s pussy was trying to milk my cock for more which was not there. I drifted to sleep as she kissed me with my flaccid cock still buried inside her.

Hi all! I'm currently 6 weeks post op and only just found this group, it's been so comforting reading your success stories but I'm really not in a good place right now and could use some advice..
I had one large fistula which was laid open and one secondary smaller one to which I had a looped seton fitted.
First couple of weeks there was a lot of discharge which made my skin really sore but no real pain from the fistulas themselves.
Three weeks post op, I felt this build up of pressure but not from the wounds, more as if a large blunt hot object was being pushed against my anus from the outside. Passing stools was agony. I went to the hospital, everything looked OK from the outside but they gave me a 7 day course of antibiotics to be sure.
2 weeks later the pain got a little better but returned and another trip to the hospital, again nothing notable wrong, this time a course of Codine prescribed. I've taken a day's worth along with some stool softeners but the fear of getting clogged up is putting me off taking them so I'm trying to get my with just Paracetamol and Ibuprofen.
Bath time is the only time I'm comfortable, walking is painful around my anus, standing is agony and sitting can be just as bad.
I'm not sure what I really want out of thus thread, maybe some reassurance that it's just part of the treatment course, it's just tough being 6 weeks In and feeling worse 😪.
Adam

Xenophage is possibly the worst thing to happen to Gambit, at least with sleeper you could out manuver during charge time and it had limited ammo, but damn xeno just shits on Gambit. Worst part is it takes 0 skill to use just point and click and hell u dont even have to be accurate cuz of the stupid AOE.
Any and all advice on how to not get reemed and creamed by xeno would be great.
(Besides get gud)

Selling from Singapore
https://imgur.com/a/BP7nmDL
SAS (prices are shipped individually, but will be reduced if you buy more than 1)
- Caesar 2nd (comes with 1st head and extra bubbles) - 90 USD
- Wamuu/Esidisi - 45 USD each
Evangelion RAH (prices are before shipping, the boxes are p big so these could get expensive)
- Eva 09 350 USD
- Eva 02 Kai 200 USD
Spider-Man Hot Toys (prices are before shipping, the boxes are p big so these could get expensive)
- Miles 2020 - 250 USD
- PS5 Miles - 250 USD (note: doesn't include the cat in the pic, it comes with the original one)
- Negative suit - 190 USD
Cyborg Spider-Man - 230 USD
Spider-Man Noir (SooSoo Toys) - 175 USD
Daft Punk SHF
225 USD shipped (Thomas wrist peg will split when changing hands, but after you put the new hand it, it's secure)
https://myfigurecollection.net/list/207111

him. I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?

Hi!! I know what you're going to think when you see this post, isn't 14 too young for relationships? Me and my girlfriend are both 14 years old. We're classmates. So recently, she has been cold to me. To elaborate on that, she barely makes any effort to start conversations with me and doesn't even approach or talk with me whenever we see each other in school. My problem is that, she acts like that towards me and she acts completely different toward her friends. Whenever we do get into a conversation her replies are kind of dry and it's fucking annoying. Compare that to how she acts towards her friends, she's very happy with them. I've had an argument with her about this before. I asked her if she was still interested in me and if she still loves me and she said yes. She told me that she didn't know how to show her love towards me and I completely understood that. Problem is, I noticed that she was avoiding me in personal and I asked her about that, she said that she needed space. I got mad at her during that time since she kept it to herself instead of telling me about it straight away. Now anyways, few days after the argument I messaged her and asked if she was fine with me now, she said yes. But now she is starting to fucking avoid me again. I confronted her about it again earlier and she WONT SAY A DAMN THING. LIKE WOW. I asked her if she wanted to break up and she said nope. I EVEN ASKED HER IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG FOR HER TO AVOID ME AND THEN AGAIN, SHE SAID NO. I told her that I know she is unstable right now mentally and I understand that, problem is SHE USES THAT AS AN EXCUSE TO GET SOME SPACE. Another thing I asked her is that WHY THE FUCK IS SHE OPENING UP TO HER FRIENDS AND NOT TO ME. Like, how am I supposed to support you if you won't tell me about your problems??? I kept on telling her to say something and SHE ONLY DID when she finally got MAD at me. I told her that I cannot understand why she is doing this to me when I literally prioritize her more than my friends and yet she prioritized her friends more than she prioritize me and she said "Did I ask you to do that?". That sentence fucking hurts me a lot. I've been considering breaking up with her since this relationship with her is making me stressed. I'm mentally unstable as well. I've been going to psychiatrist and started taking antipsychotics, BUT I NEVER MADE THAT AS AN EXCUSE TO AVOID HER. If I did something wrong to her, then I do apologize. But I want to know you guys opinion. Should I break up with her now?
TLDR: Girlfriend has been acting shitty towards me and it's starting to hurt. She prioritized her friends more than she prioritizes me. Should I break up with her?

My cat hasn't been eating right for three days because there's something wrong with his tooth, up until today that is. I cancelled the dentist appointment, since realistically I can't afford the bill. Got a butt hurt pity call from the dentist for cancelling. My mother can't emotionally regulate, so every mess she goes through is my responsibility, and when I refuse to talk to her, because she's acting like a disrespectful child, it's my fault. My boyfriend got news that his cousin died yesterday early hours if the morning (~4am) and he's gonna be gone for a week. I feel guilty for not being there for him, and I feel guilty for feeling guilty, because it seems selfish during the death of a loved one. I have entrance exams I need to study for in a few weeks, but it's 10am and I'm already killing brain cells by day drinking.

Story time : I (22M single whole life introvert, not good looking, shy, less talkative and most important overthinker) was approached by classmate (22F) for project help on call when I was in college. Let's call her "Lisa". So I said I will help her because it was 4-5 min task for me. At that time I needed to complete a different project which she was working on so I ask her if she can do that for me to. She said yes and she completed it and completed her project (she paid for Xerox to which is big thing for me). After 2,3 day she ask if we should study together. I had no problem with that so I said yes immediately. Then we studied together for few days . One day she came to drop me to my home. As introvert i only had conversation with only 10-15 people in my classroom (out of 80). Then one day a common friend ("mona") of us joined us (me and Lisa) for study but she was so out of it. She was sitting there didn't study or talked much which was wierd because I know her as very talkative person. After 2-3 hours mona asks if we can go for cold coffee. When we were going to cold coffee shop while crossing line Lisa said i like to hold hand to mona and give a female friends example saying she hates it. It thought it was hint. Then we had coffee we came back to lab. And out of no where mona started asking questions like " have you been on a date? Are you single? Do you go to a place were mostly coupls go ? " and said Lisa was the one who asked her to ask me while we all 3 were sitting close in lab. I was in shock. I couldn't process whats happening so I just acted cool and tried to not overthink. Next day only me and Lisa studied and had cold coffee again. i tried to find if she was curious or interested in me. Is she giving me hints. So we talked for 45 min while drinking cold coffee. We hold hands while crossing road which is a very new thing to me. Next day I asked mona if Lisa was single and she said yes then I asked why she was asking for my dating status ? She just ignored the question saying I don't know ? Something . I also tried to chat with lisa to know her better but she reply very late . So what am I supposed to think ? Is lisa interested in me ? Or lisa was just curious? Or any other ? I like Lisa but I don't want to become creepy or break friendship with her due to overthinking.

I am looking for someone who would love to explore this beautiful world together. I want him to be happy and smile most of the time. I Love listening music and a nature. I believe in true love. I enjoy cooking as well and would love to learn new recipes I’m looking for someone I can talk to daily. Let’s share life stories, make each other laugh and emotionally support one another.
I’m home alone and in need of someone. don't expect anything on here... i just chase here, and hopefully someone who appreciates me... I’m lonely I’ve been single, so it makes my craving for connection and companionship that much worse. I miss having someone to talk to and share things with the intimacy that comes from sharing milestones and events and holidays together is a special kind of intimacy, one that I absolutely need in order to be happy
If you're old enough and think that you can handle a woman like me, hit me up if you wanna have some fun cause I'm just waiting..

I recently hung out with my boyfriend‘s friends. So there are two guys, B(27) and S (27), and one girl P(26). S and P are dating. I know the guys as they live in same city. I don’t like B much, but S is a good guy and has become my friend too. So I wanted to make his girl feel welcome. We were all hanging out at a pub. So randomly P and S starts randomly ‘rating’ people on their hotness, staring at them, passing comments on freely dancing girls etc. S, my bf and I were clearly not comfortable but we didn’t say anything as to avoid any drama. Now we came back to my place, at around 3 and P was like I am craving some lemonade as I am drunk, she ‘orders’ me to make some lemonade, and I was like wait I will order some pre made lemonade and she is like you’re so lazy, it will literally take 2 mins to make one. I decided to just smirk because avoid drama. My bf stepped in and said I am anything but lazy. It’s just 3 in night. Now, 1 hour later, she asks if I can make her some tea, I was again like let me order some and she again started with how we Bengaluru people are, how S would just order everything and not cook etc. so I got pissed this time. I told her that we believe in doing what we do best, we make money so we don’t have to do trivial things. I cook for people I love when I want to cook. And I don’t want to now. So she just made some face. Now, she would pass random comments in a rude way about her bf and me are so fat and how my bf’s hair line in receding and how B’s gf is so cool because she’s a doctor and how me and my bf and B and S are not the friends her father would approve, for context me and my bf are from tier one engineering college (BTech CSE), she is doing PhD from some private local university. I was listening to all this, then she didn’t pick up her glass and left it on floor, I have cats so I make sure no dishes, specially the ones that break and can hurt are lying around. I had communicated this clearly. I had served everyone in plastic glasses. But she insisted on wanting a ‘proper’ glass. So I picked her glass and told her she sure has a lot of audacity who would behave like a toddler(not cleaning after themselves, insisting on particular type on serve ware). She is pissed at S for this and he is excluding himself from our group over this.

I know most people just scroll past my posts for whatever reason. It honestly doesn't matter to me. Aside from it being pride month, this is also men's mental health awareness month. If it's not I don't care because mental health should never ever be reserved for one month.
Coming from me, a man who deals with these demons daily there are others like me out there who never have their damn voices heard. We are forced to be silent or we are labeled a bitch, weakling, too sensitive among other nasty and hateful terms.
I don't care how big or tough of a person you think you are, you have emotions too...shocker.
Point in all this is, the song Sound of Silence is the staple of mental health issues. We make darkness our friend when we are lonely it comes out of nowhere. The sound of silence is real!!
We are never heard, we are always silent and the anxiety, depression, darkness, negativity feeds off of that. Yeah I'm going to therapy personally because I'm tired of this burden label me for all I care. It takes more strength to admit you have things in your life you need help with stop being so ashamed! I was going strong for awhile there but alas tonight it has happened and I broke but I was ready this time.
No I'm not okay right now but I fight, I fight for my freedom I fight honorably for my happiness I am more of a master of my emotions now than I have been before did it hurt, did it shred me down to the bone yes! But how can people say men like me are weak when we choose to fight back and accept that we also have emotions too.
Stop being so ashamed of who you are emotions and all. Stop judging men because they struggle daily! We all do! Every human on this planet does! Be a man, a true man has emotions and is not ashamed to show them when needed but also can push them down for another day to be strong for the ones he loves.
Mens mental health is important too. In order for us to be strong we must be stoic in facts of not being afraid to deal with our demons and ask for a hand up because we know, a strong warrior has to be clear headed to fight to the full potential.

mentalhealthawareness #mensmentalhealth #truestrength

I reached evp 400 in the new map and man does it suck to see your teammates suck ass.
Before you say skill issue, I am a solo evp 999 player. And I am just venting my frustrations also trying to give my insights on why they were so fucking atrociously bad.
This new map is like a combination off marooners bay and spawning grounds. You need to move a lot like marooners to kill stingers/fly fish/big shot. But also keep the basket very clean like spawning otherwise you will be overwhelmed in an instant. The good part about this map is, unlike the mentioned other 2, you get a clear view of everywhere most of the time.
Here is the problem with 80 to 90% of players of evp. They have 0 and I mean literally ZERO fucking awareness around. The only thing they are capable off are kill the first boss they see and tunnel vision on those eggs. Ignoring everything else. Sploosh sees a stinger further away shooting at other team? Nah those 3 eggs are more important than the survivability of my team. Sees 2 big shots spawning on the shore? I need to kill the steelhead first that's on the opposite site that just spawned.
It's shit like that that makes me rage. If I have anything but the charger. I will have to do all the stingers and bigshot solo. Teamwork? That word doesn't exist in their dictionary if they even know what a dictionary mean.
This map is not hard. But damn is it hard to find a team with some braincells and actually care about winning the 3 waves instead of "hur dur" I need the most eggs delivered/ most boss splatted. No fucktard you did not kill more than 10 bosses and only delivered an average amount of eggs while killing below average lessers. Learn the fucking game if you want that badge so much.

Sorry for typos, new to reddit but throwaway incase. Trying to keep this short.
So basically,, my girlfriend (F22) "Stone" came out over 2 years ago, dated her friend "Delilah" but broke up a week later because Delilah (in her words) wanted to be a "homewrecker" and date a boy in a relationship. When he rejected her she ran back to Stone but she said she didn't wanna talk to her.
6 months after Stone confessed to me and we began dating.
However she lied about Delilahs identity for MONTHS. She kept referring to her as "Dusty" her guy friend. I didn't question it and only figured it out when my gf had us play online together and "Dustys" gamertag matched Deilahs Instagram user (she followed me) I asked my girlfriend why did she lie but didn't really answered an avoided questions. I tried to trust her and dropped it.
We joined a discord call with Delilah and she kept flirting with my girlfriend calling her hot, cute, sexy, ect. And throwing banter at each other like Delilah saying "fuck you" and my gf saying "you wish"
I pulled my girlfriend aside trying to communicate to her this made me uncomfortable but she defended Delilah and ignored me. I found out after this Delilah spent a lot of nights at my girlfriends dorm and would even BE in the room as we called and I had no idea. My girlfriend says it's strictly platonic and I'd believe it if she wasn't acting to strange and shady...
As for more recently someone notified me of their texts. Mentioning kinks, saying sexual jokes to each other, apparently sex role-playing with their characters, and proof my girlfriend was sneaking around for some reason.
All this time I blindly believed everything she said and tried to not jump to conclusions so I didn't come off possessive but now I don't know WHAT to do. I don't wanna snoop or ask friends or go through her phone. I just want answers.
But a few issues, she is here visiting from college and I don't wanna ruin that. Plus she is autistic so confronting her about these things isn't easy. And lastly, SHE IS SUPER defensive bout Delilah.. I don't know what to do, how to bring it up, how to ask.. it doesn't help how we got into a small argument about Delilah before bed..
I love her so much and I trust but I'm starting to question WHY is she acting so shady.. how do I bring this up? Am I being ridiculous?
TLDR; girlfriend dates girl, breaks up, dates me, flirts with ex, defensive when I communicate how I feel, worried she is cheating.

Like the title says, I've found that what I really like about 3D printing is messing around with the printers. The printing part is a bonus, that allows me to achieve god like status with the various kids in my life, but fiddling with printers is where I get my enjoyment. I'd like some suggestions or feedback on the below potential projects.
​

• E3D V6 Direct & Titan Extruder hot-end assembly. I bought the extruder and hot-end on a whim, without a project in mind. I'm now looking for a cool project that includes them. Suggestions are very welcome.
• Tooling swap - Any projects out there that allow you to swap out various hot-end assemblies easily? Is there even a good reason for doing it? Swapping between bodem and direct setups sounds like fun
• Mercury One core XY conversion - is it really worth gutting an ender to build a Mercury One Hydra setup? I was thinking of just buying extrusions for the Mercury build and keeping the ender, from what I can see, most of it gets discarded on the Mercury 1 build and 2 printers are better than 1
• How do I navigate the Mercury One Discord? I've joined, but I haven't been able to find a parts list. I'm not sure how to start, and I'd like to avoid spamming I'm incredibly lost
• If I'm willing to build the whole printer, should I not just consider a full printer project? Aside from the Voron project, which other options should I look at?

Thanks for the help

Digital technology in the early years: The importance of everyday learning opportunities to build young children’s digital technology skills

This factsheet will support early childhood professionals to:

• broaden their understanding of the inclusion of digital technology in the early years
• explore effective strategies to embed play-based digital practices
• support children’s concept development of digital technologies

As a co-author of the Early Childhood Australia (ECA) Statement on young children and digital technologies, can you explain the rationale for creating this statement? How can it support educator practice with regards to building children’s digital technology skills?

The ECA Statement on young children and digital technologies was created to support adults to make decisions about technology use ‘with, by and for’ young children. Increased recognition in the sector that young children use a range of technologies at home and in their communities, for playing, communicating and accessing online content, suggested that digital learning in early childhood settings was timely. The statement highlights four main areas of children’s learning and development: relationships, health and wellbeing, citizenship, and play and pedagogy. It also invites educators to think about how they understand technologies and the role of technologies in the lives of children and families.
This includes thinking about what is known as ‘philosophy of technology’ (Gibbons 2010). Philosophy of technology is a body of knowledge that proposes different ways of thinking about the relationship between people and technologies. Just as there are theories of play and learning that educators can refer to, there are philosophies of technology educators can draw on to think about using technologies with children. Three of the main philosophies of technology are technological determinism, substantivism and critical constructivism. Technological determinism is the most commonly held view. This view suggests that technologies cause or determine what happens to people. Some people hold a negative view of determinism: for example, thinking that technologies reduce the quality of children’s imaginative play. Other people hold a positive view of determinism, believing that technologies support children to communicate with others. Substantivism considers how technologies shape practices, or what people do in their daily lives over time. Critical constructivism posits that technologies are always designed and used by people according to human values. This view suggests that people can make active choices about how and why they use technologies that are relevant to their lives, such as people using videoconferencing during the pandemic to connect with family and friends.

The Victorian Early Years Learning and Development Framework (VEYLDF) refers to five Learning and Development Outcomes for children. Outcomes 4 and 5 explicitly mention the inclusion of digital technologies in children’s learning. What are some effective learning experiences that explore everyday opportunities to build children’s understanding and use of digital technologies?

Technologies are part of children’s lives; however, not all educators are comfortable with using technologies in children’s learning. Rather than focusing only on the technology in digital learning, think instead about the ways in which technology creates opportunities for meaning-making. For example, making meaning using technologies may involve taking photographs, creating videos or slideshows, co-sharing digital content, or coding with robotics. Meaning-making can also be about understanding how we live with and use technologies in our daily lives. Meaning-making for understanding does not have to involve using working technologies. Children can create their own non-working technologies from available materials (such as boxes, blocks or paper) to participate in sociodramatic play that provides opportunities for talking about how and why technologies are used. For example, children might make their own mobile phones and use these in their play to send messages to each other and take calls. Educators can help children in this play by inviting children to use technologies in ways that are respectful of relationships. Are the children having a pretend meal together? Can educators invite children to put their phones away while they eat? Or if children are taking pretend photographs of each other, educators can be sure to model asking for consent. Educators can also create representations of technologies that help children learn about the internet and how information and data are shared over a network: for example, using string to ‘connect’ non-working devices in a home or office corner to help children learn about the internet as a network of connected technologies. Children can ‘send’ messages, emails or content to each other as paper notes attached to the string. Educators can invite children to consider if they know who is sending them messages or where the content has come from. This provides children with an everyday opportunity to learn about the internet and safe online behaviours.

The VEYLDF states ‘Assessment is designed to discover what children know, understand, and can do’. What does this look like in terms of children’s trajectory of learning around digital technology? How might educators connect their observations of children engaging with digital technology to children’s learning and development across other domains?

Children are likely to follow a developmental trajectory when using technologies due to their experiences using technologies at home and in the community, with their family, friends and peers. Children’s experiences with technologies are variable and so they will come to early childhood education and care settings with a range of technological knowledge and skills. This can depend on the access children have to devices, reliable internet and opportunities for adult engagement during technological activity. Educators can observe how children build their capacity to use devices over time. This is important because some basic operational knowledge with technologies is required of children as they enter formal schooling. For example, do children know how to turn technologies on and off? Can children point, touch, swipe and resize using a tablet? Pre-school aged children may also exhibit technological language, such as download, upload, click and save, and will probably know the difference between still and moving images. This language helps children communicate and share information with other people, including family members and peers. When children use technologies, educators can also support connections with digital media or content that supports children’s identity. For example, which programs or games do children enjoy at home and how are these recognised in the classroom? This can be achieved by providing children with access to pretend technologies and apps, such as a cardboard box representing a touchscreen device, with cut-outs of their favourite applications. Other examples include learning about digital media interests alongside children, examining and sharing storylines, or providing opportunities for children to express digital media interests through more traditional play, such as box construction, drawing or painting. Using internet-connected technologies also provides opportunities for children and educators to access information to resource play and learning, such as through video content, or well-curated resources from reputable early learning providers in topic areas including science, mathematical thinking, history, music and visual or performing arts.

The VEYLDF identifies eight Practice Principles that illustrate the most effective ways for all early childhood professionals to support children's learning and development. One of these Practice Principles is ‘Partnerships with Families’. What are some effective strategies to engage families in discussions about digital technologies and young children?

Families are central to children’s learning and development. When educators engage in discussion about technologies with families, they can help adult caregivers facilitate positive digital learning opportunities for children at home. The VEYLDF states ‘Early childhood professionals … actively engage families and children in planning for ongoing learning and development in the service, at home and in the local community’ (VEYLDF, p. 9). Many organisations in Australia are involved in promoting and supporting young children’s safe and productive engagement with technologies, with tip sheets, videos, infographics and games. Educators can invite families to use these materials with children to explore topics such as staying safe online, being active with technologies, using technologies to support social relationships, and fostering children’s digital play.

What would be some final key messages for educators who want to support children’s digital skills and understanding?

Two key messages are important for educators thinking about supporting children’s digital skills and understandings. The first message is to start involving children in digital opportunities that feel achievable within the service. Not all services have access to technologies and not all educators feel comfortable using technologies with children. Programming can involve using non-working technologies in children’s play, such as using a block in pretend play as a mobile phone, or teachers creating representational technologies for children to use in the home corner (for example, printed life-size copies of tablet devices). Working technologies do not need to be complicated. While coding, robotics, digital microscopes and augmented reality provide highly engaging learning opportunities, children can also learn from educators modelling appropriate technology use on more accessible technologies, such as touchscreen: for example, by asking permission to take photographs or fact-checking information online. It may also be helpful for services to complete a technology audit – such as the eSafety checklist for early learning services – to see which technologies are available for children and where these might be integrated with ongoing learning opportunities in the service. For example, digital music can be incorporated into rest times, or children can be provided with opportunities to create digital drawings alongside traditional mark making.
The second message is to understand that young children today are part of a digital world. At any one time there are more than 8000 satellites around the earth that are sending and communicating information and data. It is becoming harder and harder to isolate children from technologies because so much of the world is now digital. It may be more helpful to think intentionally about supporting children to live within a digital world. The VEYLDF states ‘Early childhood professionals … use intentional teaching strategies that are always purposeful and may be pre-planned or spontaneous, to support achievement of well-considered and identified goals’ (VEYLDF, p. 15). This shifts the pedagogical focus from trying to keep children away from technologies to thinking about the purposeful use of technologies with children, allowing children to develop the knowledge and skills they require to participate in a digital world.

Questioning and listening

Asking questions and then listening to the answers can propel children’s learning, and it is this approach that is at the heart of an inquiry model. Questioning and listening are essential in any learning relationship, and they are both part of an active process where you do not just listen and question children but also interpret, respond to and make meaning of their thinking and learning processes.
The pedagogical strategy of listening can provide educators with a new framework in which to consider their role in children’s learning and development. When educators look deeply at what holds children’s attention, the result is that children and adults are able to recognise capabilities and qualities in each other.
Do not always rely on asking questions and trying to provoke answers as a way of engaging with children. Educators who give children the time, space and resources to think long and deeply are often rewarded with rich responses.

‘The right question at the right time can move children to peaks in their thinking that result in significant steps forward and real intellectual excitement. Although it is almost impossible for an adult to know exactly the right time to ask a specific question of a specific child – especially for a teacher who is concerned with 30 or more children – children can raise the right question for themselves if the setting is right.’ (Millikan, et al 2014, p. 69)

The value of questioning cannot be overstated, particularly when working with a pedagogy of inquiry. You need to consider what directions you are leading children with your questions, as well as what type of questions you ask children. Are they ‘thick’ questions or ‘thin’ questions? That is, are they questions that are open ended and encourage children to think broadly or do they close off children’s thinking?

Wonder and uncertainty

Wonder and uncertainty are necessary dispositions for learning. Both of these dispositions are considered important when working with a pedagogy of inquiry. As Moss says, ‘Such learning is also more likely to happen and be welcomed when wonder or amazement are valued’ (Moss 2019, p. 74).
Rich learning opportunities can happen when you include these dispositions in your daily practice. This is not a closed-off, linear way of working but rather one that allows you to remain open to the ideas of children, their families and your colleagues.
When you work with dispositions of wonder and uncertainty, it encourages a flexible way of thinking and working in which hypotheses might be made but are also subject to change. This is not an approach that has pre-determined outcomes.

Top tips for working with a pedagogy of inquiry

• Read, listen or watch something that might shift your thinking or that supports you to develop a growth mindset. Learn something new to bring back into your work with children. This does not need to be related to early learning. Learn something that fires up your neural pathways. An educator’s area of interest or enthusiasm can have an inherent trickle-down positive impact on children.
• Adults can often anticipate difficulties and resolve them for children, and this does not give children the opportunity to think for themselves and provide solutions. Educators should aim to create a culture of ideas rather than a culture that provides all of the answers.
• Design your environments carefully, with attention paid to the intentional use of resources, materials and provocations, and provide children with extended periods of time to re-visit these.
• Educators need to follow children’s footprints – that is, the directions of their learning. This is only possible through a process of reviewing and reflecting on your documentation materials. It can be useful to consider what you know, what you don’t yet know and what you would like to find out more about. Gathering clues about children and then asking rich, deep questions adds great value to the development of any inquiry project.
• Give children time to be curious, to wonder, and to discuss and adjust or change their opinions.

This fact sheet was developed by the Early Years Unit at VCAA

This fact sheet was developed by the Early Years Unit at the Victorian Curriculum and Assessment Authority (VCAA) and supports information presented in the VCAA on-demand webinar ‘A pedagogy of inquiry to support integrated teaching and learning approaches’. Watch A pedagogy of inquiry to support integrated teaching and learning approaches webinar video.

References

Duckworth, E 1996, The having of wonderful ideas and other essays on teaching and learning, Teachers College Press, New York
Edwards, C, Gandini, L and Forman, G (eds.) 2012, The Hundred Languages of Children: The Reggio Emilia Experience in Transformation, 3rd edn, Praeger, Santa Barbera
Moss, P 2019, Alternative Narratives in Early Childhood, Routledge, Oxfordshire
Touhill, L 2012, ‘Inquiry-based Learning’, NQS PLP e-Newsletter, No. 45

Using the VEYLDF to inform your practice

As part of the Education and Care Services National Law (National Law) and the National Quality Standards, the Victorian Early Years Learning and Development Framework (VEYLDF) is an approved learning framework. As an approved learning framework, it has the potential to make you a better educator and your practice more contemporary.
The VEYLDF allows us to reflect on learning and development outcomes for children. As educators, we can reflect on our own practice in supporting all children by considering if our work aligns with the Practice Principles. The VEYLDF provides us opportunities to inform our pedagogical decisions and to critique or challenge our existing practices.
The VEYLDF also provides a shared language and understanding for all early childhood professionals and can inform conversations with families, colleagues and other professionals working with young children.

Additional resources that might be useful

Download copies of VCAA early years resources.
Keep up to date with new resources and professional learning opportunities by subscribing to the VCAA Early Years Alert.
A pedagogy of inquiry to support integrated teaching and learning approaches
Download the fact sheet

‘The hands lead us to learning’: Enhancing and extending children’s fine motor development through playful learning experiences

This fact sheet is for educators who want to better understand:

• how educators can think more broadly and deeply about fine motor development in infants and children
• the interplay between fine motor development occurring in play and in relationships with adults, caregivers and peers
• the importance of routines as learning experiences with embedded fine motor learning opportunities.

Introduction

Children’s fine motor skill development – that is, their ability to use their hands – is strongly connected to their play.
Infants’ efforts at motor control commence early. An example of this is the infant who actively reaches towards the face of a person who is physically close to them and engaged in a responsive and attuned relationship with them; the adult, carer or older sibling is perhaps smiling and ‘cooing’ while they are focusing their gaze on the face of the child, who reaches out towards their face.
We understand, in general terms, that the progression of motor development occurs from the centre of the body to the periphery, known as proximodistal progression, or from larger motor control to finer movements. However, over time we have gained a more balanced and nuanced understanding of motor development and we can now see early fine motor development before trunk control is consolidated. Gross motor development leading to core stability and support remains foundational, but earlier attention is now given to fine motor endeavours of infants, with an appreciation that ‘the hands lead us to to learning’.
We understand that gross motor development and fine motor development occur simultaneously and in the context of responsive relationships and purposeful learning spaces. Adults engaging in contingent and attuned interactions with infants provide ‘serve and return’ opportunities and rich responsive learning experiences. Children actively engage, using their growing fine motor dexterity and strength alongside their learning in other developmental domains such as language and cognitive capabilities. It is the interplay between these supportive relationships and children’s growing capabilities that fosters children’s wellbeing. This is now understood to increase the likelihood that infants will confidently explore their world and this exploration is in large part through their hands.

Can you explain the relationship between gross motor skill development and fine motor skill development? How does one support the other?

When we consider that gross motor skill development and fine motor skill development occur simultaneously, we can see the importance of early childhood professionals providing positive and responsive interactions and relationships throughout the day. The way the early childhood professional engages with the infant or young child provides opportunities to progress development.
The early childhood professional who ensures regular ‘tummy time’ is providing opportunity for infants to strengthen muscles, leading to greater core stability. This core stability is foundational to the later skills of sitting up, crawling and walking. These are important skills indeed, however, there is a need to balance this ‘tummy time’ with opportunities for the infant to be positioned on their back, or in a supported sitting position, where they are freely able to explore with their hands.
Thinking of fine motor development at its beginning stages helps us to actively create opportunities for children to explore with their hands. This in turn promotes children’s sense of agency and wellbeing, which is often associated with using their hands. The more children actively do, the more they feel that they can build, create, explore and express themselves.
We are often quite mindful of assessing children’s physical skills progression. Learning experiences, including playful routine times, provide golden opportunities to assess children’s sequential fine motor development from reaching and releasing, from palmer grasping to pincer gripping and so on. Progression along trajectories of learning (including motor skill learning) becomes apparent and provides the basis for tailored learning experiences.
It is important to consider children who require additional support with gross and fine motor skills. Thoughtful planning ensures we set up environments in which all children can feel confident in developing their gross and fine motor skills and feel a sense of agency and control. As we delight in their endeavours, with thoughtful planning we can build children’s sense of wellbeing, identity and connection to their world. Children become able to confidently explore and engage with social and physical environments through relationships and play.

What kind of playful fine motor learning experiences should educators consider when setting up early learning environments for children three to five years old? What are some effective playful strategies for supporting fine motor development?

Three to five years is a fabulous age for more complex play scenarios, with children using multiple learning domains simultaneously and in increasingly sophisticated ways. Again, ‘the hands lead us to learning’ and this is expressed in so much more than just writing and drawing. Indeed, children are extending and consolidating an increasing range of skills at this age.
The work of researchers Susan Knox (2008), and Karen Stagnitti and Louise Jellie (2006), can be used here to consider planning for play in reference to four elements: Space management, Materials management, Pretend play and Participation. This research, while based in occupational therapy, aligns well with the Victorian Early Years Learning and Development Framework (VEYLDF) and places children’s wellbeing at the centre of play. Practitioners are encouraged to consider how to promote participation by all children, inclusive of all abilities, through careful consideration of the environment, materials and pretend-play opportunities. This research provides a thorough and holistic view of children’s learning, recognising that children bring increasing cognition, language, social skills, fine motor development, creativity and agency to their play. Child-led play is key, but the educator must also consider how to promote play opportunities that take children beyond their most frequented play spaces. This requires a more creative use of learning environments, inviting children to participate in spaces and skills they may not have previously sought out independently.
One example is to set up a restaurant, where children are invited to navigate the space and engage with a variety of fine motor skills during a complex pretend-play scenario. This embeds learning in meaningful ways, with multiple learning areas at play. Children can take on various characters while engaging, negotiating and problem-solving. Fine motor skills are practised purposefully as children take written orders, write or draw a menu, cut up paper to make money, set up a cash register, dress up as waiters, pour drinks, prepare food and set up tables. The opportunities are endless and can be tailored to children’s interest and skills to provide challenge, practice and delight. For example, bi-manual skills are promoted in this scenario when opening containers and stirring bowls of food, where hands undertake different tasks at once – one hand holding and stabilising while the other hand turns or stirs.
Educators need only a creative mind in planning for all four elements, and the learning opportunities are endless (‘Early childhood professionals … use intentional teaching strategies that are always purposeful and may be pre-planned or spontaneous, to support achievement of well considered and identified goals’ [VEYLDF p. 15]). Inclusive thinking may see this play space provided outdoors, inviting in children who may be less likely to engage indoors (intentional support strategies also promote equitable participation in play for all children and meaningful ways to demonstrate learning [VEYLDF p. 12]).
A creative and inclusive approach asks us to consider the environment in numerous ways, offering a wide variety of materials, setting up play spaces that invite self-management and challenge, and following the increasingly complex play scripts or pretend-play scenarios of young children.

What are some everyday routines for children that might provide opportunities for supporting fine motor development?

Routines and transition times offer a wealth of fine motor experience and abundant opportunities for promoting children’s agency and self-responsibility. Additionally, they are highly repetitive daily experiences – treasures for practising fine motor skills. Encouraging independent skill development during these times, with warmth and high expectations for children, can turn a range of daily tasks into important learning rituals.
These rituals connect children to their peers and to their space, building confidence, connection and wellbeing. Children’s active participation provides many and varied fine motor movements at different times, such as taking care of their belongings at entry and departure times, dressing and undressing, setting up for meals, toileting and setting up play or rest areas.
Regular communication with families allows the progression in children’s skills to be shared between educators and families. This can reveal collaborative opportunities across home and the early years setting, and align our expectations for children. Playful and routine practice opportunities abound, with partnership between educators and families building children’s confidence and capacities (VEYLDF p. 9).

‘To play or not to play’: The role of the adult in understanding and collaborating in children’s play

This fact sheet is for educators who want to better understand:

• the role of the adult in supporting children’s learning and development through play
• how to build reciprocal relationships where children and adults are co-contributors to the creative process.

When we think about play within the early learning context, we often think of it as being ‘fun’ and occurring naturally – it is often referred to as being universally understood. Is this the case, or is it more complicated than that?

Children’s play encompasses many ways of being and becoming. Play is linked to fun, but this is just one way of being and does not speak to the complexity of play. Fun is fleeting. Parts of play can be joyful, frustrating, exciting, annoying, challenging, hilarious and, at times, uncomfortable. Play includes many emotions and experiences. Sometimes children are excluded from other children’s play – is this fun? What children are doing in play is complex – navigating limbs, expressing ideas, listening to others, creating novel worlds and negotiating with peers. Therefore, the emotions and feelings that children experience are varied.
Children are experimenting with and expressing their worlds, and the collaborative activity of play requires many skills. Ebbeck and Waniganayake (2016) tell us that in play ‘children are constructing an identity – who they are, what they know and what their joys and fears are, as well as their sense of belonging to a family and a community’ (p. 3). This understanding captures the richness of play, which is not limited to one way of being. Seeing children’s play as multifaceted allows educators to holistically understand children in the early childhood context.
Play is a universal activity that children engage in, as reflected in the United Nations Convention of the Rights of the Child (UNCRC, 1989). But while there are similarities that occur in children’s play across the world, when we look at and hear what children are doing and expressing in their play, we see that it is also informed by their culture. For example, in dramatic play, being ‘Bluey’ or making cakes in the sand pit are activities that are directly taken from the child’s day-to-day culture. The people, places, objects, practices and rituals in the child’s culture fuel their play, and play is thus an expression that reflects the culture the play is taking place within.
Children bring into the early childhood setting individual, family and community experiences that reflect their culture, giving educators a rich tapestry to understand the child’s perspective of their world. Roopnarine’s (2011) quote is helpful to understand the links between play and culture: ‘A fundamental problem with universal claims about play is that they basically ignore contrasting realities of childhood experiences and cultural forces that may help shape caregivers ideas about play and early learning, and children’s role in their own play.’ (p. 20)

Given that there are many different theories that inform our approaches to children’s learning and development, does the role of the adult vary in supporting children’s development in play?

Theories can inform teaching practice, as being able to hold other ideas and perspectives allows us to see things differently. Theory is helpful for understanding the world around us, and in the early childhood education and care (ECEC) context, theories can inform and change our practice.
Developmental theories are varied and vast, and contemporary framings have become quite different from the more foundational knowledge, reflecting the diversity of our societies. The field is not stuck on linear and fixed stages. Practitioners work with the children in their care, taking into consideration their contexts, environments and families, and using various theories and research to inform their practice.
Teaching practice varies, and theory and research can assist educators’ practice. For example, contemporary theories remind us that children’s play is not simply something that happens naturally; these theories consider group dynamics, equity, social justice, advantage and disadvantage, and the way power moves between the players. They also explore the ways that understanding children’s lives outside the early childhood setting can inform teaching and program planning. Contemporary theories can open us up to other views, and while many of these have existed for a very long time, they haven’t always been prioritised to think about children, context, difference and learning.

How can we ensure that the play opportunities we create for children help build collaborative and reciprocal relationships between adult and child?

The following diagram from page 15 of the Victorian Early Years Learning and Development Framework (VEYLDF) shows the three aspects of integrated teaching and learning, and holds great clues about the educator’s role in children’s play.
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This diagram can be used by educators and teams to reflect on their practice. Guided play and learning prioritise the educator responding to spontaneous learning opportunities. Reciprocal two-way exchanges create a balance of children guiding adults, and adults guiding children in dialogue and action. This becomes an improvisation that follows unknown paths, opening up opportunities to collaborate by creating something that did not exist before. When adults are playful with children, multiple perspectives are valued in the collaborative space.
Thinking of educators as co-contributors to the creative process of play speaks to the notion of responding to children’s interests. However, it is useful to adapt this slightly to instead think about responding to the child’s learning. Interests can be transient and surface-level; focusing on children’s learning is more expansive and process-orientated, as learning involves both thinking and enacting through play. This way of working asks educators to respond to spontaneous opportunities that arise, and play affords this responsive practice. Play is a relational activity between children and place, children and objects, children and children, and between children and adults.
Educators are respectfully cognisant of not wanting to take over too much control of children’s play, and when they improvise with children, finding a balance of following and leading, they can incorporate multiple children’s ideas and wonderings in the embodied play narratives. When teachers make use of children’s expertise, it supports children’s agency as their decisions influence the current events within the play. The playful interactions between the educator and children are fluid and unpredictable, mirroring drama pedagogue’s use of an improvised inquiry. Of course, we would not advocate that the educator enters children’s play all the time; this does not align philosophically with play and the ECEC context. However, at times, being a co-player with children speaks to a responsive pedagogy where creative collaborations can occur in play.

What is the relationship between play and learning?

When adults engage in play with children, they can incorporate formative assessment to develop their understandings of the children and inform their planning. Socio-dramatic play is one way children express their imagination. When educators are with children, they are hearing and seeing children’s imaginations enacted, giving rich information about their learning. In play, children are also blocking out other distractions to problem-solve in the moment, and taking on other perspectives, both from other players and in their own role-play. These are all skills that are linked to our executive function, which is the ‘process of how we learn’ (Yogman et al. 2018, p. 6).
When educators are respectfully engaging with children in play, they are part of the collaboration, co-creating something that is novel and only exists between the people in this activity. If educators are only observing from the outside, how can they understand this process? When educators are part of children’s play, they are in the heart of the learning, and it can open up opportunities for understanding children’s working theories and learning processes. What the educator notes when they engage in the play can be documented as part of the planning cycle, and analysed so that understanding the child’s learning within play is extended through planning.