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adventureland park
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Introduction: Adventureland Park is an exhilarating destination that offers an array of thrilling experiences for adventure enthusiasts of all ages. Located in Iowa, this renowned amusement park is a treasure trove of excitement, boasting heart-pounding roller coasters, captivating entertainment, and a water park to cool off during those hot summer days. In this blog post, we'll dive into Adventureland Park's key attractions, highlighting the adrenaline-pumping rides, family-friendly experiences, and dining options that make it a must-visit destination for all thrill-seekers.

1. Thrilling Rides and Roller Coasters: Adventureland Park is famous for its thrilling rides that push the limits of excitement. From towering roller coasters to spinning attractions, there's no shortage of adrenaline-pumping experiences. Brace yourself for the gut-wrenching drops of "The Monster" or feel the rush of speed on the "Outlaw" wooden coaster. Whether you're a daredevil or prefer a milder adventure, Adventureland Park has a ride to suit your thrill tolerance.
2. Family-Friendly Attractions: Adventureland Park isn't just for thrill-seekers; it's also a haven for families looking to create unforgettable memories. The park offers a variety of family-friendly attractions that cater to all ages. Take a leisurely ride on the "Splash Over" water ride or embark on a whimsical journey aboard the "Dragon Island" train. Little adventurers can enjoy the gentle twists and turns of the "Frog Hopper" or explore the interactive play areas designed just for them.
3. Water Park Oasis: When the sun is blazing, Adventureland Park's water park is the perfect place to beat the heat. Dive into a refreshing adventure at Adventure Bay, the park's expansive water park area. Enjoy thrilling water slides like "Breaker Beach" or relax in the lazy river at "Bahama Falls." Adventure Bay offers a splashing good time for visitors of all ages, making it a great option for a fun-filled day in the water.
4. Entertainment Galore: Adventureland Park goes beyond thrilling rides to provide captivating entertainment throughout the day. Catch live shows featuring talented performers, from acrobatic spectacles to comedy acts that will have you laughing in stitches. The park's entertainment lineup ensures that there's always something to enjoy between rides, adding an extra layer of excitement to your visit.
5. Culinary Delights: With all the adventure, you're bound to work up an appetite, and Adventureland Park has a diverse range of dining options to satisfy every palate. From classic amusement park treats like funnel cakes and cotton candy to full-service restaurants serving up delicious meals, there's something to please every taste bud. Indulge in a satisfying meal at "The Iowa Café" or grab a quick bite at the "Snack Shack" to refuel for more adventures.

Conclusion: Adventureland Park is a thrilling destination that promises an unforgettable experience for all who visit. With its exhilarating rides, family-friendly attractions, lively entertainment, and delicious dining options, it's no wonder that Adventureland Park has become a must-visit destination for adventure enthusiasts. So, pack your bags, gather your loved ones, and prepare for an adventure-filled journey at Adventureland Park, where excitement awaits around every corner.

Post final discard by my quiet upwBPD and ignoring his attempt to contact me during NC, I have spent a lot of time by myself. There were instances when I hung out with friends, familiarising myself with being in the company of people other than my ex's presence. And while it did wonders, I was left with a lot more questions about /who I am/ as a person of my own unique individuality.
The brain fogs have steadily reduced as I detach myself from the trauma bond more and more, so the memories gradually returned too. I remember waiting for hours to receive a text from him and days of hopeful dreams that I'll finally receive a special surprise from my former lover; to finally see him doing the efforts he promised me (eventhough I realise now that he never needed to because I was already going above and beyond for both of us). The waiting periods were always the worst for me with my ADHD, I remained in a frozen state while anticipating /something/ from him and the crushing disappointment when it never came, haha, utterly devastating.
But I remember now.. how I kept myself occupied while he made me wait for his manipulative ass. I watched a lot of cooking videos and shows, I listened to music all the time, oddly enough... I was also a volunteer for an online website where people would vent to me.
Today, I finally woke up without a panic attack, I didn't dream of him at all, I felt no inclination to check his social media whatsoever; instead, I put on a movie then made myself a steak sandwich before listening to some Cuban music. I am starting to recognise myself a little bit better this morning.
After our break-up, I received various offers (literally the day after he triangulated me with his therapist, lmao) .. the decision I made is to pursue double master's and hopefully, be absorbed into the PhD programme afterwards. In the meantime, I have stopped searching for my lost love in my ex because while I was trapped by his delusions, what kept me going and gave me strength was my love for cooking, music and helping people. I want to be around others and socialise with them, provide people with a safe place where they could feel comfortable while eating good food cooked from the heart and excellent music playing in the background that's hopeful with life.
My point of making this post is to give hope to the new members and even the ones who still struggle with finding the light in their tunnel. There's no need to choose one over the other; I can still pursue my academic path and on the side, pursue my passions. I don't need to strictly divide my time; I can cook when I have the energy and visit local street vendors or try out new restaurants when my academic workload is extra demanding. I don't have to choose between myself or someone else, I am free now!
There's hope, friends. I promise there will be an end to your suffering. Please give yourself a chance one more time! I promise that there is no better investment to make than in yourself, in self-love and personal growth. No more confusions, no more trying to decode the disordered mess! You can finally focus on your well-being and it feels so fucking amazing once you're taking care of yourself, once you become your own person again. I'm grateful to still be here. Eventhough I'm not fully recovered, I acknowledge that I may have relapses but I have hope again; to get back up the next time I'm knocked down.
I'm proud of you, thank you for still being here, thank you for trying.

Trying to understand..
Here i am.. Having a really hard time understanding where the breakup came from..
We were doing absolutely fine, three days before i came home after being away.. And he was All smiles and happiness of seeing me.. He said that he really wanted me home, cause he just sleep better with me. Prior to the breakup he afsked me to cuddles, cause he really needed me. And he stated to weeks before and told his Family, that i was the girl he was gonna marry and have Kids with.
Then we had a small fight, and he admits that he out of the blue startes having a doubt about us, he couldnt really shake.. That he was tired All the time, and was lacking surplus, and that the only reason for that must be me. Besides the fact that his father just got diagnosed with terminal cancer, and my life was on the line due to an ectopic pregnancy.. And he has been working from 8am to 11pm 4 days a week..
A little knowledhe about him. He is 30 years old, he works as a full time bartender. He has an undiagnosed adhd disorder, and had a troubled youth. He only let his friends in on the happy joyful part of him, never more. I was the only one Besides himself who knew him. And still there was a lot of things i never knew. He has a troubled mind, thought flowing All together, lack of control in the thoughts.. Hard time figuring almost anything personal out. His job is his life, and some what an addiction.. Its being used to justify his weekendly alcohol abuse. He cant see for himself he needs help, and nobody Else really knows.. Cause they only see the good parts of him.
He said the pregnancy caused the doubt to start, and that he just wanted his life back. He has been struggling always, he parties a lot(every chance he get to drink) , and is a hug workaholic..(full time bartender).. Everything after work is just a lover.. Nothing quite compares.. So he took the decision to cut me out of his life, rather than realizing that the job he has is causing him to have a toxic relationshlp to alcohol.. And that it stresses him out a lot, and that he need someone to talk to. I think he thought it was easier letting me go, than potentially losing me like that again.. I know he loved me very much..
And here i am breaking.. Hoping he will realize what he lost.. I am really trying to understand this, but it just seem so meaningless.. Why leave someone you love, just because you get scared?

So many people are wondering “gee how is this girl gonna make money when Parker quit his job specifically to help her in social media and now she has quit social media (essentially)”
Passive income.
She said she made a “good chunk of money” from selling their new home before it was finished. She also has millions of rolling income from videos (which she literally doesn’t have to do anything to, they just make her money.. even the old old ones)

• she has small profits (she always claimed she didn’t make anything from the store but put money back into it) from Luca and grae ..

No Expenses: + current house paid for, + both vehicles paid for… + no day care expenses .. + everything on and in the house has been paid for with sponsors (including their food, windows, house washing, floors, etc)..
I mean all she has to do is nothing and she gets paid thousands of dollars a week.
So to pass time she exercises, hangs out with old friends, raises her kids, hangs with her family and travels.
For gas money, cell phone bills, lights gas & water, she makes a few tick toks, IG posts, snapchats.
For kicks and giggles (or to just pay Parker and fulfill her contractual sponsor obligations) she makes a 10 minute YT video every once a month or every two months because she will likely generate at least $3000 a week on that 1 video added to the pot of alllllll the others.

(long story) hey i am a 14 year old male and wanted to share this to see if anyone had similar experiences. 2022 on new year’s day i had some close family over, and planned on doing mushrooms with them, i had chocolate mushrooms bars and i had eaten 6 peace’s and on the bag it had said “pe6 mix” idk what that means but whatever i ate 90% of the bar and sat on the couch and around an hour later another friend showed up and had offered me liquid lsd i turned it down as i’ve never done it and have a fear of doing it, she also brought dmt with her and had offered me it, i said no because i said that’s a little crazy o i’ve heard a lot about that and i don’t think i’d wanna try it, around 2 hours later i was tripping pretty hard from the mushrooms i ate and i seen her smoking the dmt and once again she offered, i said fuck it and got up, she gave me the lighter and said “stay calm take a deep breath and once you inhale it hold it in for as long as u can, i remember lighting the pipe and the second it hit my lungs i remember intense euphoria and excitement, i then blew the smoke out looked at her and said “woah” as her eyes had looked like pointy and green when before they were blue i remember looking at her and saying “hey *** this is to much i’m super high” she then says hey it’s okay sit down and relax enjoy the ride man there’s nothing u can do now so deep breath and chill out i remember sitting down and i looked at the floor and it started levitating and moving upwards but only the one spot of the floor i then remember seeing all kinds of colours and shapes moving around me and the music i was listening to was one of my favourite songs and i knew the lyrics by heart and i vividly remember the words “shifting and moving” if that makes sense it’s as if the words didn’t make sense and the music started to overwhelm me and i was hearing things the song changed into a different song every second and it was making me giggle but also anxious as i’ve never auditory hallucinated before i then looked at my arm and seen my veins gushing very slowly and it fascinated me, after this i then recall loooking at the wall and seeing mario coins floating, at this point i was overwhelmed and closed my eyes from this point on i remember seeing gold loop rings and i was flying through each and every ne of these rings i was flying at a rapid speeed and the rings never ended they were gold and pretty and i felt amazing i was so high like never before i then opened my eyes again after this wierd flying through space rings moment which felt like 10 years time had passed when i opened my eyes i noticed the dmt was wearing off and i started to come back to reality i remember feeling like wow i really just did that that was amazing i felt a sense of calm and peace like no other and that i could really accomplish things i remember looking at my frind and said “i have to pew but i can’t get up she said it’s okay take your time let’s go upstairs and u can pea” i remember it taking me a solid five minutes to get up and when i did. i noticed my leg was shaking uncontrollably i then went upstairs and looked in the mirror in the bathroom and see all kinds of colours on my face and felt insane feelings of happiness i then did my buisness and went back on the couch and finally realized i am still tripping and this is odd i then remember oh shit i took mushrooms earlier i then remember the mushrooms setting in harder then ever and i started hallucinating again and seen colours and everything looked like it was breathing and i seen people walking outside on the camera system and seeing colourful mushrooms on the tv that i knew weren’t they beofre and long story short i basically sat on the couch and didn’t sleep and felt extremly paranoid as i was tripping so hard i remember asking my aunt am i gonna stay like this forever she then said no ur just a kid that did too much dope lol and then i stayed up for a few days unable to rest even tho i stopped tripping after the first night had passed and my leg still unable to stop shaking this ended after i slept though this was six months ago now (sorry if it’s not written well it’s super late and i’m tired anyways i still think of this as a positive experience i love dmt and plan to try it again sometime soon all though i definitely ate too much mushrooms and was put off after the dmt trip ended i still enjoyed myself and had a great night and it was the biggest trip of my life and it felt fucking amazing

I found this sub about a week ago and now I find myself looking for some advice from it, life does these things doesn’t it…
I last saw my dad about 16 years ago, when he came by my house to see my son, his first grandson, for about 30 mins before he went off to the pub to see his friends.
This was the first time I’d seen him for about two years. He left the family to go and do whatever it was he wanted to.
I’d heard a few things, he was living in Spain, he’d passed away, he was seen in this place by a family friend, but nothing ever concrete.
It never really bothered me in all honesty. I think I know why he left. My mum can be so cold she could teach ice a thing or two, my older brother is a compulsive liar (I haven’t spoke to him for over 10 years now) and I was a 17 year old kid that wasn’t looking like I was going to achieve much either. (I ended up doing ok for myself)
Then last week I got letter from him saying he is sorting out his will and he has forgotten mine and my brothers date of birth, could one of us email him the info.
I didn’t know what to do but I emailed him the info and was just pleasant, told him a bit about what has happened since he left and was just trying to be, normal I suppose. I mean he’s an old man now, you know…
So he replied saying he’d like to meet me, but he doesn’t have long as he has cancer.
And I don’t know what to do. I was pretty sure he was dead until this letter turned up. I know some people here will have been in similar situations, so looking for some help, advice, I don’t know. I just had no one else to really talk to about it.
I do keep thinking “Be curious, not judgemental”. He had his reasons and he’s prolly had an interesting life in his own right. And if he is now actually dying, what is the sense in not catching up with him ?
Thanks for listening DDs.
Bork, arf, woof.

Hi guys, I'm a girl and I went through a trans OCD episode 2 years ago. It lasted around 3 months and it felt like hell. Fyi the thought about me being trans came out of the blue with little prior warning and I felt someone punched me in the face. I didn't know why I was thinking all these things, they didn't make sense to me. I felt as if my brain was pushing me to be a man, even though the idea of being a man made me want to throw up. I used to spend 8-9 hours a day doing compulsions such as: doing hundreds of am I trans tests, thinking about my past if there were signs, I always checked how I felt, I checked my body, I check if the way I talk is manly or if any body moves I made were manly as well. I was going through so much anxiety to the point compulsions stopped working for me.
I got over it somehow and and I was finally myself again and I was happy. I was looking at myself in the mirror and felt euphoric.
Just so you know I am a masculine girl, even though that's not always the case. Sometimes I feel masculine and other times I feel feminine. Either way I feel like myself and there's no gender dysphoria or any thoughts of me wanting to be a man. For me, being masculine doesn't make me want to be seen or treated as a man.
So fast forward two years later, about four days ago this thing came back to haunt me. It started suddenly. Like I looked at my breasts for a moment and my brain was like: you don't want your breasts, you want to be a man. And I started panicking. Started doing compulsions again and so on. There are times where I don't feel anxiety at all, just an uncomfortable feeling and a tightness in my chest and I feel sad and frustrated. The reason as to why I may not experience so much anxiety all the time, is because before I relapsed I used to watch transgender people in the media and I didn't react and didn't feel the need to question myself because I knew who I was. Maybe it was a form of ERP.
The thing is, sometimes when I'm around other girls who are super girly, make me feel like an awkward teenage boy, because I I'm not girly enough and I feel very insecure and I hate that feeling. But now ocd tells me I'm just trans and that is a big sign. Now everything feels so real and I've lost myself. My brain tells me I'm faking being a girl and I even stopped looking at myself in the mirror because I don't know who I am anymore. I feel so lost.
I'm into men, so every time I see a handsome one my brain goes like: you want to be like him, you don't like him. The thing is I never thought of being a man, never was jealous of boys, never wished to wake up in a men's body. I have guy friends, 2 to be exact, but never felt the need to be one.
Oh and another thing, there's this Snapchat filter that makes you look like a guy if u r a girl. I tried it weeks back before the relapse and I found it so funny. And I was like: if I was guy I would look hot and laughed about it. But it was true, I looked good but that didn't make me want to be a guy. I tried that filter yesterday and I started shaking. What if it isn't just the fact that I found myself attractive and want to be like this? What if all those characteristics that I find attractive in a guy are just signs I want to be a man?
I feel so lost and disconnected from myself. I don't know, my brain tells me I'm in denial. I'm so afraid to start to recover because I may end up actually being trans. I hate it so much. I really support the lgbtqia+ community but I don't want to be trans.
I haven't been diagnosed with OCD before because there's no licensed professional where I live. I've also been through HOCD, contamination OCD, fear of being blasphemous, intrusive thoughts I want to harm myself and my family, intrusive thoughts that Im a pedophile. I always felt, since I was a kid, that something wrong was going on with my brain and I didn't know what. 2 years back when I had my first TOCD episode, was when I found out it may be OCD and I realized so much to it. But now I don't even know. Everything feels so real and my brain tells me this time is different and it's not OCD.
What do you think guys? And if it's OCD do you have any tips as to how to start recovering?
Sorry for the long post, I needed to get this thing off my chest.
P.S. sorry for any mistakes that I made. English is not my mother language.

Here i am.. Having a really hard time understanding where the breakup came from..
We were doing absolutely fine, three days before i came home after being away.. And he was All smiles and happiness of seeing me.. He said that he really wanted me home, cause he just sleep better with me. Prior to the breakup he afsked me to cuddles, cause he really needed me. And he stated to weeks before and told his Family, that i was the girl he was gonna marry and have Kids with.
Then we had a small fight, and he admits that he out of the blue startes having a doubt about us, he couldnt really shake.. That he was tired All the time, and was lacking surplus, and that the only reason for that must be me. Besides the fact that his father just got diagnosed with terminal cancer, and my life was on the line due to an ectopic pregnancy.. And he has been working from 8am to 11pm 4 days a week..
A little knowledhe about him. He is 30 years old, he works as a full time bartender. He has an undiagnosed adhd disorder, and had a troubled youth. He only let his friends in on the happy joyful part of him, never more. I was the only one Besides himself who knew him. And still there was a lot of things i never knew. He has a troubled mind, thought flowing All together, lack of control in the thoughts.. Hard time figuring almost anything personal out. His job is his life, and some what an addiction.. Its being used to justify his weekendly alcohol abuse. He cant see for himself he needs help, and nobody Else really knows.. Cause they only see the good parts of him.
He said the pregnancy caused the doubt to start, and that he just wanted his life back. He has been struggling always, he parties a lot(every chance he get to drink) , and is a hug workaholic..(full time bartender).. Everything after work is just a lover.. Nothing quite compares.. So he took the decision to cut me out of his life, rather than realizing that the job he has is causing him to have a toxic relationshlp to alcohol.. And that it stresses him out a lot, and that he need someone to talk to. I think he thought it was easier letting me go, than potentially losing me like that again.. I know he loved me very much..
And here i am breaking.. Hoping he will realize what he lost.. I am really trying to understand this, but it just seem so meaningless.. Why leave someone you love, just because you get scared?

I'm an atheist, for obvious reasons. I'm recently single, trying to re build my life and social circle. Friday night I was with my kids at a playground, started chatting with some other parents, an hour later their offering me freezies and beer. Large pro life, every life matters, god hates murder sign on their lawn. Otherwise these folks where incredibly friendly. People I'd probably enjoy hanging out with on the regular, plus they live a block from my house. I was thinking "shit I bet their church has an incredible social circle".
I took my daughter to see the little mermaid with one of her friends. One thing leads to another and we get invited to a family party her friend is having. Big BBQ, packed with 45 people I've never met before and a brief prayer circle before dinner. Their Filipino, 7 of them spoke enough English to be able to converse with. My daughter and i had a hell of a good time, we where there for like 6 hours. Incredibly friendly and hospitable people. The fact I don't speak their language was a very minor barrier.
Given past experiences I haven't bothered trying to be friends with devout folks. However for the second time in two days it crossed my mind to check out their churches for the social aspect. You fellas have any success stories of bridging that religious gap while trying to meet new people?

Hello, I'm planning to upgrade my camera, including the possibility of switching to a different system.
The primary criteria for picking a camera (brand) are:

• out of camera colors produce well usable SOOC JPEGs and video, because:
  • I sit 8 hours a day behind the computer at my job, and hate sitting behind the computer more to develop RAWs into usable JPEGs, and also because of other pragmatic reasons,...
• PDAF for better focus reliability,
• IBIS for handheld use without gimbal or tripod,
• budget-friendly as it's hobby and not professional use.

Secondary criteria:

• auto-focus reliability as best as possible once primary criteria are fulfilled.

Currently, I own Panasonic Lumix GX85 with a 12-32mm lens. I've also got 42.25mm F/1.7 with super shallow DoF and great image quality, but I use this lens less than I wanted, because I'm not a lens swapper.
Current camera issues:

• autofocus is bad in video, lots of focus hunting when filming moving kids or dogs, or jumping between both,
• low photography quality in low light in-doors, evenings, or sometimes even dim light,
• out of camera colors and not so good.

Main planned use, and other features I'm focused on:

• amateur to hobby-pro landscape and travel photography,
• home and family non-professional videos,
• all-around lens for majority of shoots,
• shallow DoF object photography,
• aspect ratio 3:2 for 99% of photos,
• good 1080p 60fps video quality,
• good auto-focus with tracking of moving objects,
• wide end to be of 12mm or wider (24mm full-frame),
• lightweight for travel,
• non-premium pricing of lenses.

Extra wishes for upgrade:

• higher MP to cover modern 6k displays, which would eventually become mainstream in 10+ years, to future-proof photos in terms of resolution as one can't re-shoot it again in the past,
• weathewater resistant to shoot beautiful non-sunny landscapes without complicated care for camera,
• future-proof lens mount (non-discontinued) in case of upgrading to better all-around lens in future,
• good tele zoom lens available for a good price.

So far, from all the research I've done, I found Fujifilm to be the most focused on "color science" and great SOOC photos. And, often mentioned, that if one wants just JPEGs, then Fujifilm is the only reasonable choice. Is it true?
Fujifilm glass is quite expensive, but it seems to be more because Fujifilm doesn't make low-end/poocheap tier of lenses. As I'm not a lens swapper, I would be mostly using only one for a long time. So, it better be good.
Would the Fujifilm X-S10 + Fujinon XF 16-80mm f/4 R OIS WR be a good choice for me? It's basically the cheapest Fujifilm camera with IBIS and has got PDAF for better auto-focus. However, it's already more expensive than budget I imagined for my upgrade, as Canon, Nikon and Sony have more affordable cameras.

This vent is a huge mess. I'm sorry.
She is my twin, and we're 24F. My now ex is 26M.
I have known him for five years. We got back together over a month ago. I was suffering from a chronic illness. I broke up with him to focus on that. That was three years ago, but we remained good friends.
We would play video games, go out to eat, watch movies, give each other small gifts, and hang out. Probably not important to mention, but our relationship was non-sexual because we haven't had privacy.
My sister seems happy about my breakup. Then she has the nerve to ask if she can help me find a new man. She never liked my boyfriend, but I love him. We've been arguing about my relationship for weeks, and the stress caused a terrible trigger to my illness. I couldn't take it anymore.
To be honest, I have been unhappy in the relationship, but I‘ve been trying to make things with him. He was not once abusive to me, unlike my sister’s previous exes.
My ex is a busy person. He isn't on his phone often and doesn't reply to my message after a few hours or even a day. He does odd jobs for his friend and family. He lives with relatives. I live with my mom and sister. He is unable to visit me because he can't drive. He has walked twice to see me before, but I stop him from doing it now. We live over 11 miles apart in different towns. I visited him more. So our distant relationship wasn't great, but we were inseparable when we meet in person. I normally have to plan the dates. He wasn't able to do it. He is a hard person to figure out. He has trouble expressing his emotions or understanding others. But when it comes to certain topics, he can talk forever about them. We have a lot in common, like a love for animation, writing stories, video games, and drawing.
Not only my sister, but my mom kept telling me not to settle for less. They tell me to find a reasonable man with a good job, who has his life straightened out, someone who can provide for me. I can't even provide for myself, why the hell do they want me to leech off of someone else? Yes, I would like to be a housewife in the future, but right after I have an actual job. If I could ever find one, I’m looking for one.
My sister praises her exes for being manly and hard-working men for taking her out to nice restaurants, giving her valuable gifts, and taking her on trips. Then continues to bash my now ex-boyfriend. She called me sick for trying to defend him as a good boyfriend and believes I’ll still defend him even if he ever beats me.
I'm heartbroken, and I hate to see my sister happy about this. I'm trying to see if my ex is alright, we still care about each other, but again, he doesn't reply to my messages after hours or even after a day. He always makes me worry when he does that. At least now, my sister will stop arguing with me about this. She can leave me alone.

Hey y'all!
I just finished episode one tonight. I would've binge watched the series but my husband is knocked out right next to me and I don't wanna disturb his sleep with my angry ranting.
I never really talked to people about my past experiences growing up within the church but I do have some memories. I remember before I started kindergarten my mom would take me to the local church for a children's bible study group and be taught about the Bible and accept Jesus into my life.
I do recall finding it odd that she would bounce from different churches. We never stayed permanently in one church. It was always either going to our local churches in our hometown or traveling quite a distance to go to a church in a different city. Or even going to churches that other family members went to or that friends went to. Yet, we never had a permanent church family.
Like I recall having to read the bible almost daily every night and studying the verses. Even sometimes highlighting certain ones and giving her my interpretations or having to read them out loud to her. Yet, eventually that stop and then going to church every Sunday eventually stopped too. I mean later on there were times when me and her tried to go back to church but then we ultimately stopped going.
I'm now agnostic and my mom is still a believer in God but she no longer goes to church. She tried going to a local church where a neighbor started in his own backyard but she was so fed up with those people that she stopped going. I'm now curious as to why she would switch churches when I was a kid and why she eventually stopped taking us. I'm curious if she heard stories of what was going on and basically said "well, fuck this bullshit" and tried to find a better church community, lol.
Mind you, my mom is an old school Southern lady who still keeps those traditional values even though we live in the lovely progressive state of California. Like she would still remind me that I need to keep to the house for my husband even though I'm working. Yet, despite those old school ways, she has always been that loud progressive who's not afraid to call out conservative Christians for their backwards thinking. Growing up in the backwoods of Alabama and living on a black owned farm, she can sit and tell you the stories about how pretty fucking bad it was in Alabama and why her family had to escape to California.
But yah, this docuseries had me thinking about my upbringing in the church and it reminded me of those memories. Maybe I'll sit down and interview my mom one day because she's not afraid to tell people that the churches need to be investigated due to the years of abuse within their communities. I feel like if a lot of the fundies heard my mom speak about the truth and still say that she believes in God then they would say she's not a "good Christian woman". And to that I will give them a polite fuck you. ✨
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. I didn't mean for my self-reflection to be so long, hehe. I'm gonna give my mom a big hug for most likely protecting me and our family from the fundies.

Hi, I apologise for the longish post. A few NSFW bits too.
I (M40, HL) have been in a dead bedroom for 20 years. It's been on average once every 3 months for as long as I can remember.She did the classic bait and switch from the moment we moved in when we were younger, starting off as a normal healthy regular sex life, and very quickly after moving in, she rejected most of my advances and showed very little interest in having a healthy sexual relationship with me. Every time I tried to instigate, i was nearly always rejected. And, if she does accept, it's normally when she's drunk. I just feel like she never really wants me, she just wants to get herself off and be done with it. While she's never been one for giving me favours or ensuring I have my needs met, more importantly she just never shows any sexual desire towards me. Over the years I learnt to repress my sexual desires and stop instigating with her, because the rejection was always too much to bear. So I stopped trying some years ago and just left it to her to instigate, which is about once every 3 or 4 months whenever she is drunk and just wants to get herself off. Once she's orgasmed, I either finish myself off, or just lie down and go to bed and don't bother. So, sex with her in the latter part of our 20-year relationship has nearly always been one-sided towards her needs, if at all whenever she has them.
Case in point, this morning, the kids are away round their grandparents. A rare chance for fun. I made an effort this morning, she basically just laughed at me when I tried to show some intimacy with her, wasn't interested in receiving any foreplay, didn't want to look at me or kiss me, and just turned round and expected me to put it in her. Unsurprisingly she was dry like a desert, and I just had to cancel any attempt and get out of bed. My biggest turn off in my middleage is clear: I hate not being wanted or desired sexually, I want to feel loved and appreciated. Not having these needs met is my biggest turnoff.
I feel however that I am in that stage of my life when I need to deal with the issue, but start making more advances with her to re-validate to myself whether she actually wants me or not. Sometimes, years of resentment builds up and you don't always paint a clear picture. So, this means me putting in more effort to show interest and instigate more sex with her so we can have more conversations around her lack of libido or want to pleasure me. I'm sure it will be tough as I'll be rejected, but I need to try.
Here's the kicker: recently, when thinking to myself that I should start instigating sex, I find myself being too resentful to even try. I have this lingering anger of "well, she's spent 20 years ignoring my sexual needs, why should I suddenly start making more of an effort?". There's also the issue of not feeling sexually wanted by her getting in the way of me wanting to have sex with her. It feels a bit like trying to have sex with a friend who you know isn't romantically interested in you. I feel like a pain in her ass, but I also feel like she's kind of cheated me out of a normal healthy sexual relationship for so long, that I owe her nothing in this regard.
And this resentment is stopping me from trying to instigate sex with her. So, my question is, for the HL here who have been in a DB for many years, how did you fight through the resentment? The resentment is big, it's real, and I need to understand if I can work through this. Or, were you unable to, and you considered this the final straw?
Any advice would be much appreciated, thanks.

Hi
Ive never felt so low and incredibly sad.
My 16 yo has extreme anxiety for a few years and won't let me go out on my own. Even walking the dog. I need time to recharge with my own thoughts and with my friends now and again. I find it suffocating. She has been getting therapy which is very slowly helping. That's good but I still feel controlled and trapped. It could take years or she may always be like this. I can't make plans or even go to work events. I have to work from home.
If that wasn't hard enough, in January my second husband (not my kid's dad) was diagnosed with incurable cancer. I'm watching him go through all these awful treatments just to extend his life by a few years.
This is some kind of living hell.

My marriage started rough. “Shotgun”wedding. Both of us undiagnosed and unmedicated ADHD and HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). A week after the baby came, my best friend ghosted me and my dad had to get brain surgery (he made it through okay). Two months after that, my husband’s ex dropped off their three kids without warning, so I was a brand new mom with four boys. Life didn’t get easier after that, especially with my husband’s Latino temper, but by the time my son was four, we both were finally properly diagnosed and medicated, and much calmer. Despite all the chaos, all the arguing, all the drama, I managed to keep my focus on love. I spent my life knowing I would have an epic love story, and I know not everyone gets that. I know most people believe true love only exists in movies and tv. I have lived a nightmare of being held against my will by a man telling me he loved me, so I’m very clear on the lines of abuse and have no naïveté when it comes to relationships. I believe real love transforms. I believe I got my one true love. And I have hated him, but I never stopped believing he would do better— because he always has. We grow together. We are devoted to each other. And we spend an annoying amount of time working through our stuff. I know of only one other woman that talks about her husband like I do. And she’s not neurodiverse. So, where are all the women with ADHD in loving and satisfying relationships? Others must exist!

Basically I got nobody other than stoners and gangbangers. It’s always a smoke sesh everytime we hangout. It’s the main reason why I can’t stop smoking weed. If I stop smoking weed and doing not so legal things then our friendships starts to fall apart. I’ve always been a shy person and the homies took me in and it felt like family. Felt like I was actually cared for by my homies. No other kids would be my friend and I often got bullied alot. Which is why I got into this lifestyle of doing smoking weed and showing off the “stuff” on snapchat. But I know this lifestyle has consequences. I already had two homies die last year and one died from overdose. I don’t want to be another statistic. I want change for me. But the only people for me are my family and the homies but even family won’t be able to help in every situation. I’ve known my homies since we were in elementary school and it’s crazzy we all made a commitment to not be like the older kids… Well here we are. I’ve just realized this year how I fucked up my attendance for school. Now I have to go to court for my terrible choices. But I know my ass will probably still hang with the same people. But it’s hard dropping friends when you have no one else and nobody wants to be homies with you. Any help or advice is appreciated.

My school elevator is old and rickety, it stops randomly from the years of abuse it has felt courtesy of kids stealing the keys and jumping up and down tempting it to rocket to the ground floor. I never understood what they got out of it, though it could just be my way of ignoring the fact I was never invited to tempt its ancient cables. I’m more of a loner. I like walking around listening to my metal music at lunch rather than slamming my least favourite teacher’s door or vaping. Nevertheless the other kids don’t pay me any attention, something I am actually grateful for. My five foot two stature at a mere one hundred pounds keeps me fast and nimble should anyone care enough to make me their punching bag for the day.
On Wednesday, my final block is English with Mr.Steeves, this class is an easy A for me as all he does is sit there and ask us to read the two hundred-fifty page book he assigned us five months ago and then do the questions pertaining to the chapter we just read. Mr.Steeves has a strict no phone policy and makes us park our phones in a box when we walk into the classroom.
This rule makes accessing the questions for our novel impossible so he has two random students go and fetch the computer cart from the library and bring them up to the class on the elevator. This is great for me as the large screen of the prehistoric laptops hides my head while I sleep.
This Wednesday Mr.Steeves chose Hunter, the most popular boy in my grade, and I to go get the computer cart. I never really liked Hunter due in part to his name and reckless behaviour that often ended up with someone else being seriously injured. Not deterred, angry, but ready to get this over with and get to my scheduled nap I begrudgingly stood up and shambled out of the classroom Hunter following behind me while still laughing at a joke his friend made no doubt at my expense.
As we make our way down the stairs and then through the hallway over to the library Hunter and I have our faces buried in our phones pretending not to notice one another. As we approach the library Hunter puts his phone away and speedwalks ahead of me to get his interaction with our more than socially awkward librarian over and done with.
I am mere feet away from the door to the library when Hunter comes barreling out of the library practically surfing the cart and nearly hitting me. I feel butterflies soaring in my stomach from the freight Hunter has given me yet I act unphased and carry on with my emotionless demeanour. We walk back through the hallway past the staircase and over to the elevator, Hunter grabs the key off of the top of the cart and puts it into the elevator and waits for it to come down then open its rusted doors revealing the withered once futuristic interior. I step inside and am followed by Hunter. I go to press the button for the second floor but Hunter grabs my hand.
“Dude look” He says “What I don’t see it”
Hunter's long finger points to a third button, ajar from the rest. It’s not quite a perfect circle, more of an oval, its milky interior seems to be polished, carrying an otherworldly glow to it I’ve never seen before. I look at Hunter and ask.
“What is it?”
He shrugs his shoulders and before I can stop him he pushes the button and a loud ding pierces my eardrums. A sense of dread washes over me as this ringing in my ears subsides and is slowly replaced by an eerie quiet that sets my teeth on edge.
I shoot Hunter a glance and am met with a childish grin of someone who knows they just did something bad but is too stupid to know what it actually is. I resume my normal composure and press the button for the second floor and for what felt like an eternity there was nothing it felt as if time had stopped, I was waiting, begging for that button to ding and for these cables to spark to life and tow us to the second floor and bring me away from this dreadful feeling of unease. I wait and wait and wait until finally my ears are pierced once more by that harsh ding and the elevator begins to move.
I was so relieved I failed to notice the direction in which we were moving until I felt the same butterflies in my stomach which were soon replaced by a cinder block of pure lead and there I was again being drowned by this sense of dread but this time I wasn’t alone Hunter had gone white as a ghost we shared a glance as the beads of sweat began to roll down our faces.
We were descending below ground level, my mind ached as I tried to wrap my head around what could possibly be happening, how we could be moving below the very foundation of our school that held this elevator together.
We descended further and further in utter silence, fear having an almost physical grasp on our vocal chords. My legs were like jelly quaking at nearly buckling at the smallest jerk the elevator made. The elevator screeched to a halt making my knees give out and nearly making me fall over.
We sat there for only a minute before it began. Constant tapping and pawing plagued the outside of the elevator. Whatever it was it wanted to get in badly I could hear its laboured breathing, yearning for what was in here, yearning for us.
After another hour or so of this routine Hunter and I were broken, hope only shone on us when we heard footsteps trailing off right in front of us until it was nothing but silence.
I begged and pleaded to the God I thought I never believed in for the elevator to ding once more and carry us back up to the safety of the school I had forsaken and blamed for all my troubles and now would do anything to be back there.
“ I need to calm down, think rationally, I need to figure out what’s going on, I have to survive this, I can't die here.” I thought to myself.
I look over at Hunter, he is utterly paralysed, seemingly frozen in time, I know he will be of no help in solving this situation. “It, whatever it is, is marinating us in our own fear, just waiting for the opportune moment to come crashing through the door when we have our backs turned.” I thought to myself.
Slowly the cinder block of fear in my guts dissipates and is replaced with an undying power to do whatever it takes to get out of here and back to my boring life. As this surge of what can only be described as pure strength surges through my body, the doors glide open and I am beaten back by a gust of frigid air that drains me of my strength, and there we are again, just Hunter and I staring out into the dimly lit, concrete space out in front of us.
We stare and stare and stare until finally our eyes adjust to the dark and we make out something roughly one hundred metres away it stood. A body of a buffalo, but five feet taller, with three legs of a wolf, the fourth leg was easily triple the length of the other three and was covered in a black ooze that dripped from the long nails at the front of its limb, it had no head only a mouth, similar to a crocodile but painted pitch black, the mouth extended out in front of it with a jaw that hung detached from the top of the mouth, slack and ready to close on any unfortunate prey and hold it there while it was torn to shreds. I stood there for seconds attempting to comprehend what I was actually seeing but before I could rationalise anything it charged, galloping towards us, we had nowhere to go. All we could do was wait for it to get to us and for this all to be over. It stopped mere inches from the door, Hunter and I huddled in the corner, he weaselled his way behind me so that only half of his body was showing. Its long ooze-covered leg extended out in front of it into the elevator dripping its viscous liquid onto the floor. The long fingers extended pointing at us and pinning us into the corner. We shuddered and closed our eyes fearing that the worst was yet to come and then I heard it. Flesh squelching right next to me as the long nails on the end of the fingers embedded themselves into Hunter and sprayed blood on to me, the sound of the flesh is quickly succeeded by Hunters screams as the monster twists its claws in him and flings him out of the elevator on to the concrete where it begins to devour him. The sounds of Hunter’s screams stop and all that is left is the squishing and occasional crack of bone as the monster eats him. I slump to the floor knowing that what is happening to Hunter will surely happen to me in just moments, I whimper and cry until my eyes can cry no more.
A sharp ding cuts the tension and the rusted doors slam shut. The button for the second floor glows and the elevator begins to ascend, the blood on my clothes vanishes and in only seconds the doors open once more. A blinding light sears my eyes and the hum of an active school fills my ears. I sit there for minutes until a student on their way to the bathroom notices me crying in the elevator and grabs a teacher. Quickly I am hurried off to the office and the computer cart was taken to my English class. I tell the Principal and school officer everything that happened, what happened to Hunter and what I saw down there and how it wasn’t me who killed him. Everyone is very sympathetic to me and my parents are called. I recant my story over and over, every time I tell it I am met with the same question, who is Hunter?
I, after hours of telling the story and trying to explain it to them and who Hunter is, am told to go home, get some rest, and in no time will be able to talk to a professional about my “incident” as they are calling it. My appointment is tomorrow and I am currently in the midst of flipping through yearbooks attempting to find any trace of Hunter though it appears he along with everything that could possibly prove his existence have simply vanished along with the third button on My school elevator.

As cliché as it may sound, that was a dark, cold and stormy night; In a small road cafeteria they were sheltering from the rain, drinking coffee and listening to the radio, a trucker who passed by and had stopped to drink coffee, a doctor who had done the same taking advantage of a break from his night shift at the hospital. , a surprisingly young and even attractive waitress who was counting tips while listening to the radio , a strange and diffident bespectacled guy crouching in a secluded corner , and the town sheriff sitting at a table drinking coffee , plus a young man who for the moment seemed quiet and reserved. He was wearing a red sweatshirt with a hood and pockets and sweatpants , as well as a pair of sneakers that finished off his ensemble , and sitting on a stool near the bar , he was eating a cheeseburger immersed in his own thoughts while his eyes They were oscillating between looking at the thunder through the window or looking at what the waitress was doing. She had blonde hair pulled back, was wearing a button-up green shirt that had her name written on the side, and a short black skirt. Although her work outfit was not particularly flattering, it could be seen that she had a good figure.
On the radio they advised not to go out due to the rain and they also reported a series of strange disappearances that had been taking place recently in the towns near the cafeteria. Missing animals, missing children, it didn't matter what the local authorities didn't seem to care about, at least not enough...
After counting the money and putting everything in the cash register , the girl went into the bathroom and , since her shift for that day had already finished , or rather , it should have already finished if it were not for the fact that they could not get out due to Due to the torrential rain that was falling, she decided to dress up as much as she could in front of a mirror that she had in front of her and change her work shirt for a top that she carried in her bag. Leaving the bathroom, the boy looked at her again and decided to take the opportunity to try to start a conversation: "Hey, since we're not going to be able to get out of here for at least the next few hours, would you like to chat for a while?" he said ending the sentence with a crude attempt to show his best smile.
"Of course, why not?" , the girl was friendly . The boy , beyond just being attracted to the young woman , dreamed of being a writer and had thought that at least he could come up with an idea for a character by chatting with the girl for a while . The girl approached him and sat next to him. "I've seen your name on the side of your uniform, Liv, my name is Jake"
"Nice to meet you , Jake, do you live around here?" Liv asked.
"Yeah, yeah, I guess so," Jake said, thinking about the words while scratching the side of his head - "And you?"
"Yeah …"
Jake noticed that Liv was wearing three bracelets on one arm: one in a pastel tone that read QHMM (which could perfectly mean "What Would Midge Maisel Do"), another that read "NORMAL PEOPLE SCARE ME" ( one of Tate Langdon's signature phrases from the American Horror Story series, and a rose that seemed to have a spider web pattern, which immediately reminded him of the Spider-Gwen character.
Have you seen the new Spider-Man movie? Jake asked, looking closely at the girl's bracelet.
“Yeah, yeah,” Liv said, noticing Jake looking at her bracelets.
"And did you like me?"
"Are you kidding, man? That movie is a fucking masterpiece."
At that moment, it seemed to Jake that the sky opened before his eyes, giving way to a beautiful sunset. At least in his head, it was still raining heavily outside. So with the gates of Olympus opening before him, metaphorically speaking, he gained a bit of self-confidence and started talking to Liv without worries as if he had known her forever...
They were talking quietly when suddenly and with a kind of noise, a middle-aged man who was a local guy entered the cafeteria. His clothing consisted of jeans, a faded leather hooded sweatshirt, and cowboy boots with worn soles. In addition , on the sweatshirt , he wore some pins , among them the most notable ones were one with a smiley face and a bullet hole in the head , one with a peace symbol and one with the letters CK . The strange man sat down at a table and asked for a coffee, to which the girl said that, since her work day was technically over, she could pour herself the coffee from the coffee maker and leave the money on the table. The guy got up, went to the bar and put a crumpled bill and a couple of coins there, then he took the jug from the coffee maker and a cup and poured himself some coffee. He took a small sip and looked suspiciously at the two youngs who had been talking until then.