Girl jamaica kincaid questions
This is why this exists
2023.06.04 09:26 AutoModerator This is why this exists
Hi, my name is Elijah and I would like to say much about my life as a 16-year-old with a business. (LLC) I grew up in Arkansas and still live in this pointless place, but if God will in a few days I might not be here. How I started this entrepreneurial mindset was actually through my wanting to be an anesthesiologist, so I could help people, save lives and make much off of it, bc this 14-year-old kid wanted a BMW i8, this has changed tho. (for the better) I believe in God and not just like your "some believer" but I do and take him for all that is life, so you can probably see what I support and what I don't. anyways when I was 14 I started to look at finances, how much will this cost a month, with what job could I get to get me this stuff like that, at this point I was like "Business I could never, that would just be so dumb, there is no security in that" I never thought that I would be that person to start a business but that changed when I was moving up and getting older, years to become what I wanted, grew shorter, my dreams more ambitious, the yearly salary I calculated, increasing, by early 15 I was able to solve tax complications, and the best of all, salve myself in a Lamborghini with the top down in California or Miami blasting Dua LIPA on a Saturday. Here's the biggest caveat I had at that time of my life is that I wasn't able to do this until I was 18, naaaaa not cool at all. With so much time on my hands, I had no choice but to calculate and to try and make all of these calculations as real as possible, and that's what my life was, moving closer to 16 I found myself just too eager to think, having to just go on long long runs to calm myself down, but in this, I also found myself, what I wanted in life, so as I grew up, music taste changed to slow old fashioned music, an angry Lamborghini, McLaren, and some Ferraris turned into an Aston Martin, Bentley, or a range rover autobiography, I started to seek calmness and family. (wife, kids, friends, and God) of course in my un-new fashion, I found myself falling for some girl, she had a cool name which meant night, (inside joke,) I know how unexpected, a boy falling in love, no happy endings here tho as the common story goes... she was cold, but also one blue-eyed model that not very many knew about and resisting the urge to give all of me and as much of the world as she wanted was not the plan. Moving up to now, I have a job, everything 15-16-year-old me was asking for from God, my driver's license, and now AN LLC, this all happen in two months. Never have I ever been waiting so long for one thing other than this LLC and if you don't know to open up an account you need to be 18, how they check if you are 18 is with SSN, but with the LLC, you can get an EIN, that acts as an SSN but for your business, but you need to be 18 to get an LLC so dang, but for some reason the day was right and the timing was on point, years of rejection from the person I was trying to get to co-sign accepted. Everything I could have ever wanted is now in motion. The subreddit is to serve what I didn't have as a kid which is to speak of this, bc I know there is no way I am the only one, not to mention this is a good place to network, share information, speak of God for those who either have questions or happy to know he is here for your good, or man even to just share our lives as 17 down to 14-year-olds, but if you do figure out what my business is please don't say it on the Reddit PLEASE.
sorry for the grammar, I just know it looks good rn but its 2:26 AM so IDK
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2023.06.04 09:14 Rshadowtale My parents think my boyfriend is making me be trans
I am 22(transfemale) and I have a boyfriend (trans male->nonbinary, important later on) who recently celebrated their 22nd birthday as well.
We have known each other existed since 1st grade, became friends in 3rd grade, and then closer friends in 6th.
A lot of his other friends left him in middle school, and I was one of the 2 who stayed with him when he came out in 8th grade. I even got my parents to use his right name and pronouns, which I personally thought was impressive, as I and my three older siblings (now 26 nonbinary, 25m, 23f)grew up going to church (Salvation Army I'll go more into it later on.)
I kind of...knew I wasn't cis/straight throughout most of highschool, but considering my parents (who are now 55f and 70+m, honestly i stopped keeping track at 60) I didn't really look too deep into it.
My now bf, who was just a friend at the time, took me to a Queer Prom when we were in grade 11, where I dressed in a suit, with a women's blazer, heels, and makeup. I hated the fake nails but loved everything else. We went again the next year when we were in grade 12, and I brought my actual Prom Suit from highschool to the Queer one as well. I enjoyed the Queer one more.
It was about 2 years ago that I realized I wanted to be a girl. I looked back on myself and my childhood, which I'll briefly name some of the things that should have tipped me off;
• I liked wearing clear coat glitter nail polish, one sunday morning when I put some on myself and my mom noticed she said we didn't have time to buy nail polish remover, and come home to take it off. So she made me wear gloves, we bought remover from the store, and then she took me into the women's bathroom to remove it myself as she yelled at me to hurry up. • I loved watching the Disney princess movies growing up. Animation over gritty live action any day. • A lot of tv shows I liked were actually geared more towards girls (Atomic Betty, Kim Possible, Totally Spies, Ruby Gloom) or the ones I did like watching that were for boys (Martin Mystery, Hot Wheels, Johnny Test, Foster's Home) I always enjoyed the female characters more. At the time I thought it was crushes, but what I was actually feeling was an aspiration to look like them. I always thought they were pretty and had fun personalities. But not ones I wanted to date, ones I wanted to have. •Up until puberty struck, I had one guy friend and then almost entirely a female friend group.
I can make another post entirely about my teenage years, but moving forward to living alone in 2021 I realized I was transgender. I wanted to be a girl. I told my friends who all supported me. I supported my oldest siblings, when they came out in 2022. They even privately talked to me about it and thats when I slipped out and told them about me. This was also when that long, LONG time friend and I started going out. We dated like three different times throughout the school year but both wanted to be serious for this one.
In 2023 I came out fully to everyone on my birthday. Coworkers, Boss, All my friends, family. Everyone said they were happy for me. But my parents still use my old name and pronouns. My dad I sort of written off, all my siblings think he's going senile anyway, so...I personally think getting him to do it is a lost cause, but my mother is the same way. Using female pronouns for my oldest siblings. However, I assumed because she changed and used the proper name and pronouns for my boyfriend then she would do the same for me, right?
We just had a talk today, where she asked how long we were dating, me and my boyfriend. Because she wanted to compare when I came out (to her, I came out this year but realized well before now) with when I started dating. Note that, this isn't my first significant other either, I just never told her about all my other ones. Another story for another day but my mother loves to know everything even if it requires invading personal space and privacy.
...she just wants her "sweet innocent boy to come back to her", she wants me her obedient quiet child to never speak up or voice my opinion. I moved out. I only interact with my mother for holidays and because of a family plan phone bill (40$ a month for me, 4GB and unlimited texting and calling), but this just feels...so invalidating. They think my boyfriend who I've known forever is taking advantage of me and using me for my money, which is not true. My boyfriend gets uncomfortable whenever I pay for meals or gifts for him. It's true he has a bit of a money issue, it's because of health problems and only getting 2 shifts a week at his work, to pay for gas, rent from parents, and medication. I have more disposable income than he does, so I pay for more dates. It's that simple. I only interact with my dad whenever I can't get a taxi to work and I pay him about 4$ for that. I have no license or car. I actually just applied to get a credit card a week ago, one step closer to getting my phone off the parent's bill.
I just feel...invalidated. I've felt it a bit through my life from my parents, but knowing that they don't see me for who I am or who I'm comfortable being, and instead want the child they know back, the child that was in the closet, didnt speak up, the personality I made so they wouldn't question me.
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2023.06.04 08:47 Neither_Idea8562 IBD/Protein Losing Enteropathy
We brought our sweet girl (2 years old) into the emergency vet about 2 months ago and found that she had fluid build up in her abdomen, chest and lungs. After 3 days at the hospital, and a ton of expensive tests, our babe was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome causing Protein Losing Enteropathy. She seemed to be doing better with prednisone, low fat diet, B12, probiotics and blood thinner. BUT she recently started having diarrhea again and then within a day of the diarrhea starting again, she was caught eating a piece of plastic. (She also seems to have Pica…great mix of issues huh?)
MAIN QUESTION: Her belly is distended again and we don’t know if it’s a blockage from the plastic or the fluid building back up. Does anyone have experience with this?? If so please share anything that helped
We brought her to the vet immediately after the plastic incident, they said to wait and see if it would pass…now it’s Saturday at 11pm and she seems worse.
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2023.06.04 08:44 dumjuice Partner's (24M) past comment making me (22F) overthink...
Before we started dating officially, I (22f) took my partner (24m) to a party. When we left, he told me I was prettier than 95% of the girls there. At first, I really didn't think anything of it- as we were still talking and I found it as a backhanded compliment. He even went to go on and talk about how pretty one of the girls was as she reminded him of an actress in a show he had watched. When reflecting on this comment, I can't help but wonder what he thought about the other 5%.
Fast forward, a year later- he sees me scrolling through Instagram and sees one of my girlfriends and suggests we hang out with that group again. I don't know what happened, but something in me just snapped and the memory of him saying that replayed in my head. I kind of felt hurt and a little annoyed? I made a joke about it and suggested that we plan something and see the other 5% of women that he found more attractive than me. As anticipated, I caught him off guard with this comment. I knew it was wrong of me to bring up something of the past, but hearing his comment about wanting to see them really rubbed me the wrong way. He tried flipping it and saying that 95% meant 100%, but I know he was just saying that because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. How would you take it if your partner told you this?
Just to preface- I understand entirely finding other people attractive (it's human nature!!!), but hearing and recalling something like that just heightens my sense of insecurity and makes me question so much about our relationship. It's just a comment (that hearing out loud) can make you question your self-worth, in my opinion.
Not sure if this is a vent, or me seeking advice- but I'm open to hearing all comments (:
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2023.06.04 08:41 10throwawayantsy Is my family normal? (TW, maybe?)
Weird question, I know, just wondering.
Everyone says they have a crAzy family. I kind of just wonder what that means, I guess.
Family 1: So: Grandparents lived in rural farm. Their kids would get up at 4 am to work on it, and would miss large chunks of school. They'd be yelled at for trying to go to school or do homework, and were beaten pretty regularly. They never showed any affection of any kind to their children. One of their daughters was severely injured, but there's a theory in the family that her dad tried to set her on fire.
In the modern era, one of the kids is severely bipolar. The other kid was in an abusive relationship for 30 years, and didn't talk to anyone until recently. Her child went to prison for child abuse, and she's trying to be normal again. The other child got a girl pregnant at 16 (we will call him George). George marries this girl, but they each divorced and remarried 4 separate times to other people before getting back together. George's next wife tried to murder him, and then the next stole thousands of dollars from him before fleeing the country. None of the siblings talk to each other. George has severe emotional issues. He gets taken advantage of regularly, but constantly annoys/angers the people he loves and says gross things. He has no idea how to relate to other people and it's pretty sad. He has an arsenal of 250 guns. Why? I don't know.
They're more normal, I guess. The parents were unproblematic, for the most part. The dad died prematurely, which was upsetting and took away a large support system:
Unit 1: Their first child died when he was 30. The rest of the family ignored his child and widow, for no real reason, and made fun of them actively. The girl whose dad died had a few kids and hates vaccines. People think that one of her kids is dating another one of the cousins, but they are technically not related? Idk. Still odd.
Unit 2: This child got pregnant as a teenager, regularly remarried, and was generally more focused on dating than being a parent. Her daughter's emotional needs were pretty much completely ignored, and she became a very addicted to sex (to the point where she almost died) but is a successful woman. Her child has the same issues.
Unit 3: The third is really misogynistic and gets noticeably stressed when women explain things to him. His son is fine, just has severe OCD.
Unit 4: Idk. He could never get his shit together. He lived in a trailer with his 4 kids and wife, but they eventually got a small home. They're very clan-like and exclude other people from their events.
------their first kid: She married and alcoholic that beat her and the kids, then left him, remarried, and now has 9 kids. Idk. They seem fine.
----Second: Closeted homosexual, and is now dating a recovering meth addict (woman) but she is still married. She also has 4 children, and they all live together.
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2023.06.04 08:41 Adventurous_Goose852 Opinion on the new wave of baby Christians?
There’s a whole wave of baby Christians that just came from tiktok and it started around three months ago.
There was a bunch of videos going around on Christian tiktok talking about ‘lukewarm Christianity’, and then quoting Revelation 3:16.
It says you either have to 100% live for the Lord or 100% live for the world. And then it tells people to ditch their old lifestyles and start being ‘hot’ for the Lord or else he will spit you out when he comes like a thief in the night (the end of the world).
Now everyone wants to be “on fire for the Lord” or else they will have to face eternal damnation. Which is weird to me already… but I DO like how it’s making people cut off bad things from their life. That’s good. I’m sure some of them might have come onto this sub too.
But man, the questions I’ve been seeing since that wave… yikes. There’s this one specific girl that would throw a whole pity party crisis in the Bible study group chat whenever she sinned:
“I just fell again in sexual immorality... I need to talk to someone 💔❤🩹”
“It hurts, ok? I don't believe he loves me. If I keep falling, I'm scared he will abandon me”
“It's too hard to believe that the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE, ELOHIM loves someone like me.”
“I feel like Peter "depart from me for I'm a sinful man"”
“I can not move on. I sinned against the KING OF THE UNIVERSE. The God that sees all. One day, I will be standing before Him And give an account for everything I did and said”
Those are some consecutive messages someone sent after one sin. They all got replies with great reassurance in between of course, but it kinda looks like they forgot they’re a human being and can’t be completely sinless after one week of being ‘hot for the Lord’. Yes, it was one week.
I’ve also been seeing lots of ‘how do I know if I’m lukewarm?’ questions.
I don’t think it’s 100% bad, but this “be completely hot or completely cold or else Jesus will spit you out when he comes any day now” thing is confusing a lot of young people. They’re all scared and they’re cutting off their secular music and friends (again not completely a bad thing, I’ve actually done the same), and then they’re feeling painfully guilty whenever they commit ONE sin because it makes them think they’re lukewarm and Jesus will discard them.
I don’t think it will last. I’m afraid these relationships with God might crumble because they’re built on fear and a lot of self-centeredness, thinking their salvation depends on what they’ve done and not what Jesus already did.
And it’s not even a works vs. faith thing. The biggest work that goes on there is removing music by secular artists from playlists and cutting off friends that aren’t Christian.
Someone had a dream about being left behind in the rapture because they were lukewarm. But this was after two weeks of anxiety. Isn’t that just reflecting their own insecurity?
And of course the people who say “on judgement day, Jesus will ask you one question… did you spread the gospel? And if you say no, you’ll go to hell” but that pandemic has existed for years already.
Have you ever had a relationship with God based on Revelation 3:16? Or any social media thing? How did it go? How do you think this new generation of tiktok Christians will end up?
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2023.06.04 08:39 Ambitious-Ordinary30 How to set boundaries with toxic family members?
My mom has had a addiction for over 25 years. Parents are married. Dad financially supported my two half Bros and my mothers toxic side of the family. We lost our apartment while I was in college. My mom, middle brother and I stayed with my narcissist gma for 2 years and a half, it was traumatizing. Dad and mom started living in a motel. I found an apartment 2 bedroom thinking my parents would move in. But now I live with my brother his two kids(i baby sit when they are here every other week). Than my oldest brother started staying without asking no one if he can. He moved in didn't have a job haven't started paying rent until this year in February. My oldest brother had a car but he would ask my mom, dad, middle brother or me for money for gas or for repairs. The car wasnt in his name but in his paternal gma name ( he has so many tickets in her name)His alcoholic girlfriend started staying here cause she got into a fight in a shelter in January and ended up getting cut in her chin. My oldest brother and his girlfriend got into verbal fights almost everyday. Until last month it got physically and she left and called the cops. Detective come to my house a few days later asking my middle brother, mom and I questions while he out hiding in my bedroom. Also my brothers can never keep my house clean and they can't even buy tissue for the house, i have to beg and scream sometimes for them to get dish washing liquid. My uncle on my mom side comes to the house to clean bcus my parents request. Now my uncle has an addiction as well and doesn't know boundaries as well. Now he wants to spend a night in my house bcus he doesn't get along with the mother of his child. He checks in at the shelter but doesn't want to stay there. He goes into my refrigerator without washing my hands and cooks my vegan food and offer me some. I feel like i too nice like my dad is. My rent is so high, my uncle ask for money constantly and he is in his 50s. We just paid his phone bill and we don't have enough for the rent rn. My mother stays at our apartment every weekend so she can get her fix and cheat on my dad while he works from home (he knows he cheated in the past but I hinted at it to him recently I didn't have any proof so he didnt think she is cheating). I'm the only girl. In the future, I'll move in with a roommate or ill get my own place because I can't do this with my toxic family members. My brothers aren't giving enough money for the rent, so my dad has to start helping. In a way i feel like they need me I don't need them with the exception of my mom. What should I do? I have a part time job now, I have an associate degree and I start my 4 year in August. Im also studying for a certification exam so i can start working in my field. Im on the right track but it's taking so long to get the finish line and to be financially secured. I tired of males asking me for money when I'm younger than them. How can I set boundaries?
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2023.06.04 08:34 RickzterTheTrickzter I need advice on what should be in the parameters of cheating or betrayal. My Bf M/26 hid many things of his past which have blown up and I Gf F/25 cannot forgive or forget that he lied to me.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few years now and I wanted him to tell me everything about his past because I did not want to be surprised by girls being overly friendly with him without a reason. He had a few girlfriends (as in only friends) and hid some of his sexual encounters from me, which he later admitted through a lot of my effort trying to make him tell me the truth. Now a few weeks from today he told me he had a crush on one of my friends and tried to hookup with her before we became official and never told me. He was once in New Orleans (already a year deep in our relationship) and she saw a story of him and replied that they should meet for some drinks and he planned on going with his cousin and sister. He later cancelled but the thing is I feel like he cheated on me by not telling me about my friend before and then telling me he might get drinks with her, which I was fine with it at the time without knowing he was sexually attracted to her in the past. And so the conversation began and I asked him about which other girls have you flirted with and asked him to show me their conversations (lil bit toxic, I know) and he had a few other girls that told him “we miss you” from when he went to Australia for a semester. He also has some very cute messages of birthday replies to a girl who was his best friend and they later hooked up. I feel betrayed even though he tells me he did not meant to keep them on the loop or in “reserve” if we did not workout. This has been a deal changed for me because I really though he was the one and now he tells me he did not have feelings for none of them And they were just friends. He says he loves me but I don’t believe him anymore.
My question here is what should I do and am I in the right, like is this cheating?
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2023.06.04 08:32 Anxious_Put_7222 I think I'm lesbian
I've been questioning my sexuality for 4 years now, I've come to a moment where I just say I'm queer if someone asks me, but I only say it to cover up the fact that I'm not sure. I've never been in love with a boy, but I've had sexual experiences with some guys and I don't hate it, but it always feels like I'm too focused on pleasing them and I don't receive as much pleasure. Also, I don't see boys in a romantic way and find it cringe when a boy tries to approach me. On the other hand, I've been in love with three girls in my life, when I'm with a girl I don't mind giving and everything feels more natural to me, I also feel this way with feminine people. I've come to the conclusion that maybe I'm attracted to femininity or I'm a lesbian. Just to be clear, I don't mind presenting myself as queer and I don't feel pressured to fit in a specific label right now, but I'm really confused about how I feel about amab persons and I'm curious if there's someone here that can relate to this.
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2023.06.04 08:31 lnttswis Severe heartbreak over someone I only dated for a month
Background:I was seeing a girl for a little more than month, somebody who I fell hard from the very date. I've dated other girls before but never felt much of a attraction, but with her she genuinely checked off every single one of my boxes and the more I learnt about her, the more infatuated I grew. We had so many coincidental things in common that somewhere in the back of my head I felt like I had finally met 'my person' and everything in the world would be alright from hereon out. It was as if some god-like creator peered into my head to look at what my ideal girl was, and then put her right in front of me.
Unfortunately I liked her so damn much it caused me to play it too safe in fear of pushing her away. I wasn't as genuine and funny as I should've been because I was afraid of being seen as offensive, I didn't ask the deep personal questions that would've made a more stronger bond because I was afraid of breaching boundaries. And so eventually, she ended things after the month. Not being able to open up and be who I truly am as a person to her will be one of the biggest regrets for the rest of my life. If she had rejected me after having seen that, then that's something I could accept much easier - but it's the 'what if' and knowing that I could've done a lot better is what's causing me the most grief.
I've been a complete wreck for two weeks since now. It seriously feels like I'll never love anyone again. I rebounded back on dating apps but every single person I talk to or make plans with pales in comparison to her. It feels like I've lost something so precious and immeasurable in value that I'll never get it back.
At the moment, the only two things giving me peace are maladaptive daydreams - thinking of all the things I should've said and done and how that would've worked out, and imagining scenarios where we meet again in the future after I've had a huge glow-up, for some reason at a train station, and we reconnect and rekindle things. I know it's extremely unhealthy, but not being able to do so is making me barely function at the moment. I can't focus at work, I'm not eating, I can't stop walking aimlessly, I picked up smoking again after having quit for years.
I just want to hear other people's experience with such a severe heart-break over short term relationships, or having lost somebody that they truly felt was the perfect person for them.
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2023.06.04 08:27 Special_Addition1964 Ugh, this process is frustrating, for both of us.
** I didn’t know which flair to use. My (F26) partner (M33) and I have been dealing with porn addiction for a while, but have set some restrictions on his phone so that he has to go out of his way to turn those off In order to view it (that way he has to think twice & I will know what he had to go through in order to look if I were to catch him again. Well, I caught him fulling gawking at at a girl who was wearing a sports bra and little shirt golfing the other day. At first he denied it, but ultimately admitted to it & apologized. I have explained how unacceptable this was, he agreed & promised to do anything and answer any questions I may have regarding this in the future. Then today when we were leaving a baseball game when a girl with really short shorts (and a nice ass, if I just say myself) walked right in front of us. I made a (mostly) joke about how he better not look. Then he starts pointing out a bunch of cars on the road, I look over at the cars and when I look back at him, he quickly swivels his head to look at the cars again. So I called him out & said “why does your head keep swiveling around every time I look at the car?” And he make a confused face. I push & we end up yelling at each other in DTPHX because he called me embarrassing & exhausting for asking him, ¿I guess my tone was off?? Anyways, long story for a question: am I allowed to ask those questions whoever or are there guidelines on how to handle those situations? Am I in the wrong?
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2023.06.04 08:27 Rodrogonio_ Is she interested in me?
Ok so I started following a girl from my university, from my same career, that I see often, i started following her like 3 months ago, never talked, then we go on vacation and returned this past week she saw me when i was leaving the bus because she was leaving on the same stop, we did a little bit of talk but nothing else, then she Dm me and asked me if i was that guy from University and the bus so I said yes, she told me next time she says me she will greet me, we talked for like 2 days but she was just kind of returning the questions that I asked, so I stopped and just agree on something and she left me on read, i may see her on monday
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2023.06.04 08:26 LabiaMinoraLover 35 [M4F] #LosAngeles - Cute blue eyed, fit, fun guy seeks sweet, smart, pretty girl who has 'outies' 💋, fuller flower petals🌷, butterfly wings 🦋, larger, longer, darker kitty lips😽
I seek a sweet, smart, pretty girl I love to make smile loudly, to make happy fully, to satisfy deeply, who is my pleasure to please so munch that we want to be exclusive. I'm patient to gain trust, to build a connection by communicating, seeing if there is attraction and learn what we want. I'm open to begin with chatting, talking and seeing if there is chemistry for exploring romance, seduction, spontaneity, creating highs with teasing to pleasing, almost anytime, anywhere. Once we are sure of our attraction. I like sharing affections, cuddles to kisses, to earn my turn, to prove myself, giving her massages to multiples. These passions make me seek someone special, perhaps a shy inexperienced woman curious to explore the best loving pleasures and feelings or maybe a woman with an insatiable libido yearning for one man to keep her full/filled.
I want more than just lust, where we feel butterflies gazing in our eyes, holding hands, loving spending quality time together. I like anticipating, feeling a primal passion, a romantic hunger in my belly that brings out the lover-giver in me (tho I love receiving too). A spark in me starts with what I feel, from seeing pretty eyes and smile, combined with personality, poise, voice, and even an accent. Some eye shapes I like can be described as upturned, almond or cat-eyes (and any color). I like skin tones from white to olive, dark tan skin. I like only natural curves, in the right places on a thin to thick, voluptuous, hourglass shape, natural bigger lips on your mouth and on your kitty (my username checks out-ies ;)
I'm cute, fit, fun/ny, 5'11", hygienic, healthy, white with blue eyes, brown hair, soft beard (for now), single with no kids. I enjoy reading, documentaries, podcasts, comedy, cooking, nature, hiking, exercising, science, arts. Keeping healthy is a passion of mine, including a whole-plant food diet, yet I may be open to 420/drinks during loving. While playing together, I like to listen to/make DJ mixes with styles including chillout
and open to other music. What are some of your favorite music genres/bands/songs? (No one ever answers this question :)
If you relate to what I wrote, we can use the Reddit live DM/PM to decide if we want to verify with voice, pics/live video, etc. I may be open to distance, but prefer Los Angeles losangeles LA L.A. SoCal, Ca
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2023.06.04 08:24 AdAsleep2244 Do I have OCD or ADHD or it's just something that happens to people?
Ok, so maybe I'm overthinking it but I don't know what to do. I know that I shouldn't self-diagnose but at this point my brain is a mix of everything.
It's been a year since I think I have ADHD. I always used to joke about it but idk anymore. My doubts started because my sister saw a video about a woman who had ADHD and told me that I could have it. I saw the video and felt so relatable of what she was saying. All of my life I've been portrayed as the distracted one as the funny one because of how forgetfull she was, but the symptoms were beyond that. I hyperfixate on things on a large period of time, I try to know everything there is about it and I put that on top of everything, I cannot watch anything that doesn't have to do with it, when I wake up that is the first thing that comes to my mind (it can be a tv show, a book or like right now manhwas) and I just spend the whole day thinking about it and feeling the anxiety until I can finally be able to get to do that thing I'm obssessed with. I also can't focus on more than one thing at a time. My attention span is a joke sometimes if I'm not interested or don't put effort on it. I procrastinate until the deadline is close or until I feel extremely guilty (I have more symptoms but I don't really remember right now).
Those are some of the things that happen to me, and its been getting worse in the past 8 months. However, all of the people I had the trust to talk to about my doubts told me things like "it happens to everyone" or "even if you do have it what is the point of getting diagnosed?" I also talked to a psychologist and she told me that since I was good at school it meant that I couldn't have it because I should have presented obstacles. So I had that obsession since I started thinking about it. I saw videos, tik toks, EVERYTHING and sometimes thought I definitely have it, and others like I don't have it because it isn't exactly like this. It's frustrating because I also started thinking that I was making it up just to be interesting, to be different than other people, which I then got mad because I know it's something that affects peoples lives and is not what I should be thinking and it goes on loop.
I recently tried to let it go, because it affected me and made me think everything that I was doing like "am I doing it just for show?" "do I do this usually or just because I think it is ADHD" "I'm pathetic because I wanted to believe I had it just to get the attention of others" So I slowly stopped thinking about it so often. However, here comes another problem.
I read about OCD and Pure O. I never considered this because they always show it as being organised and clean or do things more than once, etc. But after researching I started question if I have it, more specifically Pure O. Maybe I just had a lot of obsessive thoughts, idk. But after I read about it I wondered if I had it.
To summarise there are different types of OCD, some are contamination, intrusive thoughts, rummination, checking, etc. The one I was related to was intrusive thoughts. Now, I know everyone has intrusive thoughts sometimes. But they specifically talked about SO-OCD (sexual orientation OCD) which is when something triggers a thought about you being gay when you always thought you where straight. It's not being gay what makes you freak out, but thinking something that might change your life and how that could affect how you always thought you were, also to not bee 100% sure about it. The thing is, that happened to me. Since I was like 13 years old I spent years, still do, questioning myself about being bi. I wouldn't mind if I were, but what always bothers me and makes me fall on a loop is that I think like okay, I am, but then I think about being with a woman and it doesn't feel right, like I can't see them as more than friends, so I say maybe I'm not. But then, I'm with a girl friend and suddenly think "what if I want to kiss her" or "what if I am in love with her" and makes me feel uncomfortable at the moment, and makes me think maybe I do but then it happens with another girl friend or even with a guy friend and makes all of my interactions with them uncomfortable if I don't find a way to actually know that I don't like them like that. It is something that happens often, is just that right now is not as uncomfortable and doesnt make me panic as much as before, so I can deal with it after a time.
Another thought that made me feel misserable was TOCD (Transgender OCD) It is when you start thinking that you are trans because of a triggering thought or when you are trans you thing you might be cis. It started because I love books that have bls or manhwas that have bls, and out of nowhere a thought came "i would like to be a man" I almost spirall at that, but let it pass. Then I saw in tik tok a comment like that and in response to a tik tok someone said something like "i thought that and then I became trans" just like that I started thinking "what if I am?" "What would I do?" "but I like to wear femenine clothes"(I know that doesnt have anything to do with it but that was an argument to try to tell myself I wasnt) I cried horribly, because it was in my mind for weeks, when I forgot about it, it suddenly came all over again, I tried to think if I actually like my body, if I had body dysmorphia or not, if I felt like a man or a woman. Again, I wouldn't mind if I were, it would obviously change my life but at least it would make me feel like myself. In the end it doesnt bother me now as much, I surely doubt if I am or not, but I can always try to let it pass or try to do something to distract me. I also have more that Ive thought about and make me uncomfortable to the point of disgust and make me panic but Im just naming some to hopefully dont make this longer.
Idk what I have, because I don't know if I have Pure O or Im just psyching myself into it. My brain makes me feel like I am. And what makes me doubt is that idk if it happens to people that dont have OCD but they just dont talk about it. Because, until a few hours I thought it was normal, and because it was related with my sexuality and gender, I never opened up about it.
Sorry if it was too much. Its my first time in reddit. I just needed to vent and maybe know if its normal or if I have to talk a psychologist about it.
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2023.06.04 08:16 DuttyWine Suggestions/advice for parents of special needs 2 year old in PV for a month?
Hi all. Awesome subreddit! I will be in PV near Playa Amapas for most of July with wife and two daughters, 6 and 2. Our youngest, while overall healthy, has a neurological disorder. She doesn’t talk, walk or crawl, though she is active and engaged in her way. She struggles with digestion but otherwise has a happy disposition and is working hard to participate in the world. We would like to try to help her enjoy as much of PV as possible.
I’m interested in any advice, information or suggestions anyone may have. A couple specific questions:
What is our best option for both immediate and general medical care?
If I need children’s medication for acid management like simethicone or omeprizole, any pharmacy recommendations?
Best access to beach or beach club suggestions? I can carry her anywhere but if there is anything that makes life easier….
Family friendly restaurants that are worth going to. We love going out but it takes a lot of work making sure everything goes smoothly. It needs to be worth the effort and also not a burden on the restaurant should it not be so smooth.
Children’s playgrounds, gathering spaces and the like where both girls can engage with other kids.
Thanks for reading this far and any thoughts shared will be much appreciated!
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2023.06.04 08:12 Pratical_project298 From a super hero fan: What is true cinema?
Basicaly, i like super heroes movies and comics, and pop music, and romantic comedies, and yes, adam Sandler. This means that, on internet, i have horrible tastes and a lack of inteligence.
So, i want to know what is a good movie, and true cinema. It's something hard to understand? Old? With political, economical or ideological criticism? What is a classic movie?
I'm not a good critic, so i have a bad time judging acting and the most technical details of a movie. I don't understand those details, maybe that's why i can't understand a "true movie"
I use this term because i've heard it some times, super heroes are not real cinema? Why? Because they are generic? Devoid of commentary?
Also, while searching this, i've heard a guy comparing to any boy Band, you know, fun music, but not good music. What makes good music? It's some technical details that i don't understand? It's being old and famous? Like that guys who says that Beatles are real music despite they being teenager girl music back on the 60s? I suppose this is a question for another sub.
One guy in a different post, and i can't remember what post is, said that IS because marvel fans are all braindeads (is that offensive? If yes, Sorry, but the guy used this exactly word), and how they can't think or appreciate a good movie. And that's why i question what is a good movie? Why are Tarantino movies true cinema? (I loved Django Unchained and Kill Bill, but why are they real cinema, for me they are just excelent action movies, but still action movies.)
Sorry if i'm being ignorant, but it's a honest question.
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2023.06.04 08:06 Pristine-Spring-7980 Brothers rate my current Streak??
131 days, so far with clean diet, exercise, showers and some meditation and yoga, I've had 3 wet dreams and I've peeked 3 to 4 times occasional peeks at instagram models without touching my self, just to get an erection.
How can I be better?? I really want to improve further and get to next level,
Also one question does the occasional peeking at girls negatively effect my Streak??
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2023.06.04 08:03 Lefebvre420 Question to the ladies about being respectful and flirting.
I (28M) love going to shows and will frequent them alone - mainly due to my main friend groups not being into the scene as much as I am. I have definitely made friends and see regulars at the shows that I attend, but I like to keep my circle close and honestly, prefer to only have to worry about myself since I like to bounce around and dance with people who share my energy.
However, I have had a couple of girlfriends who would go to shows with me and sharing that experience with someone is important to me. I never met them through the rave scene so it was kinda coincidental, but it’s not my main goal when going to shows.
But there have been times when a girl moved up or next to me and will look at me or make eye contact. Now, I’m not the best at flirting in general, but at a rave it’s even more difficult. I understand the stigma of men being outright disrespectful, creepy, trying to grind on them, etc, at these shows so I guess my question is, what do I do? It’s fucking loud and I want to respect their space but try to make conversation.
Ladies, what can I do as a male, to make a potential interaction comfortable or natural?
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2023.06.04 08:02 anjwiehf Do I contact the dumper of our little situationship?
Hey everyone. This girl about 2 weeks ago said we shouldn’t see each other anymore after 5 months. We were never official (as the title suggests) but we both still like each other.
After she broke the news, we both admitted still liking each other on our last conversation ie. the same day she ended things, but that she said our future goals didn’t line up so she thinks we may “clash” in the future if we ever get serious and stay together. I’m career focused (she isnt) and she’s been getting me more in touch with my feelings and emotions and how I interact with other people. So we’re different in that sense, which she thinks may be an issue in the future for some reason but in the present, we go so well together and enjoy every moment we see each other. Btw I like that we’re different because we can fill each others gaps which makes for a better partnership imo.
Idk, seeing as we still like each other I’d really like to continue spending time together, we’re both still young too (early 20s) so if she foresees a clash in the future, then that’s WAY into the future lol why can’t we just enjoy the ride for now and let it end when/if it ends.
Again, what I’m really hung up on is how we like each other in the present and enjoy each others company every single time we go out or we’re together just cuddled up and talking about everything.
So my questions are: do I contact her? And if so, how soon? Also, what the hell do I say lol.
I’m not DYING to talk to her or anything, just think that there’s something there worth giving a shot
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2023.06.04 07:59 Due-Strength1608 Was I in a situationship?
Yes. This is part 2 of my longwinded/complicated "love life". 😂 And if I get flamed for this, who cares? Leggo!
My encounter with the main character in this story begins in my polytechnic life. Let's call him - T.
T and I weren't the closest friends bcos he had an overly posessive gf during his poly years, so we ended up drifting apart. That was when I was 17.
Fast forward to Y2022, when I was 22. T and I reconnected over FB when I found out (surprise surprise), that his gf (from poly) of 5.5y had broken up with him. During this time, I was still with M (read my previous reddit post if you dunno who M is). But, my s with M was already plunging downhill at that time when T and I reconnected.
*When T and I reconnected, it was approx 3 months after he had broken up with his poly gf of 5.5y, just for some context
After a quick catchup on what was going on in our lives, this is where things started to escalate. T started making comments like, "Oh, if you broke up with your bf earlier, you could have tried all my homecooked food.." , "You're one of the FOUR (four ah, I REPEAT, FOUR) (you didn't hear wrongly) contenders (to be T's potential girlfriend).."
T then proceeded to do the PROCESS OF ELIMINATION. How so, you might ask? He went on saying, "Oh, this girl can bcos (insert reason)..." & "This girl cannot bcos (insert reason)..." (Throughout these statements, T is only telling me how dating these girls (inclusive of me) would benefit him or how these girls would put him at a disadvantage). T also added that this particular Malaysian girl, let's call her - M 2.0, had been crushing on/was interested in him the entire time.
Overtime, weeks passed and T continued to lead me on. Once he even said to me, "Oh, maybe God will spur me on to be closer to you one day..." (WOW. And yes, T is a Christian). Even while he was leading me on, T kept bringing M 2.0 up, telling me that M 2.0 has been to his church before for healing services, questioning me whether he should get into a s with her or even start dating her. Obvi, I advised him against it, but did he listen? You will find out very soon.
Fast forward a lil bit more, T invited me to one of his Church's prayer meetings. During our ride there and back, T brought up M 2.0 again, telling me how he brought her on a unique date to Bukit Timah Hill, bcos she wanted a "unique experience" (LOL). T continued to explain that M 2.0 had even brought up topics like:
- What kind of house do you want?
- How many children do you want?
- Where do you want to live next time?
I mean, just for some context, M 2.0 is a year older than T and I. And secondly, T and M 2.0 have only dated for less than a month, and both of them were not official yet. And if you ask me, I was genuinely appalled at what I was hearing. Not even a month in, and not even an official couple yet, and she's bringing up these topics????
What made me feel so disturbed was how T can be sharing that he felt SO UNCOMFORTABLE everytime she brought up these topics, but on the other hand, he told me, "I think the relationship is progressing well..."
Wow. Such a hypocrite and a walking contradiction. And here's the cherry on top. T then proceeded to invite me to the CANDLELIGHT CLASSICAL MUSIC CONCERT. Pay attention to how our conversation went:
T: "Do you like classical music? Like violin and violas?" Me: "Yeah, I like it..." (Pay attention to what comes next) T: "I have an extra ticket, and M 2.0 cannot make it. So, do you wanna go?" I said, "Ok, just let me know the date and I will let you know if I'm free.
About 2 weeks passed, and I texted T again to ask about the date for the candlelight classical music concert. Get ready, because what he said next, reopened my emotional scars.
T: "Oh, I'm probably bringing M 2.0 instead." Me: "What? I thought you only had 1 extra ticket?" So you're bringing M 2.0 instead?" T: "Yeah, probably bringing M 2.0. And please pray for her, she's down with a fever so idk if she can recover in time to attend the concert."
WOW. THE AUDACITY. Again, I've fallen into this trap bcos of how naive and vulnerable I was. It took some time for me to realise it, but once I did, I stopped contacting T.
Once T noticed sth was wrong, he tried asking me if I was mad at him, but I refused to open up and said that nth was wrong and that I wasn't angry at him.
When I finally opened up bcos T couldn't stop pestering me about it, guess what? T GOT MAD AT ME. LMAO. The best part? T not only blamed me for "lying" to him bcos I refused to open up and didn't tell him that I was actually mad at him, but T deliberately dismissed my explanation. T still had the audacity to shift/deflect blame to me, and threaten me by mentioning how he was so angry that he could not sleep, and how he had a long day at work tomorrow. (Is this my problem? No. Bcos I am not the one who wasted T's time.) The conversation ended with T asking me to reflect on my actions, and refused to accept any apologies. Since then, T and I have never contacted each other. 😊
Now that T's in a rebound relationship with M 2.0 (which possibly happened about 6 months after his breakup), let's see how this new relationship goes :)
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2023.06.04 07:59 AppleDramatic9274 Fitness account
What are your opinions on creating a fitness / workout account on social media? I plan to keep it with shirts on, nothing revealing. I am a M 20, and I am discerning a religious vocation. So this account would be mostly to motivate others to exercise and achieve healthy lifestyles.
I ask the question because I know this can bring about temptations of pride or near occasions of sin for other girls my age? What do you all think?
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