City of akron home repair program
The Community & Happenings of Hudson, OH
2011.12.19 19:34 mitchumm The Community & Happenings of Hudson, OH
Welcome to the Hudson, Ohio subreddit! Created by the community of the people, by the people and for the people of this great town!
2012.08.21 05:04 randonneuse bikes for seattleites
A resource for Seattle bicycle specific events and information, and a place for the Seattle bicycling community to gather. This is a good place to post about group rides, questions about Seattle bike shops, Seattle biking news (like a bike lane closure or opening), bicycling related political events/news/meetings... etc.
2011.06.28 04:49 joeyda3rd Canton, OH
For redditors interested in Canton, OH. The best Canton in the USA. Subscribe whether you live here, near by, visit regularly, were here once, or even if you just like us. -Regular meetups. -News, opinions, and advice related to our city or surrounding area. -Home of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, the McKinley National Memorial, the William McKinley Presidential Library and Museum, the First Ladies National Historic Site, and is the terminus of the Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Railroad.
2023.04.02 14:22 throwoheiusfnk Is it possible to do an online/remote PhD?
I've been struggling with a chronic GI disease since I was a child... It's been hard, but I noticed that life became infinitely easier for me under the pandemic lockdown when everything went online.
I graduated Summer last year with a master's degree in neuroscience and always thought I was going to do a PhD afterwards, but the last year where I went from doing courses online to being in a lab every day was just too physically demanding on me and took a serious toll on me.
Ever since then, I've been feeling very lost. I eventually got a job as a research assistant doing mainly computer based work, and it's helped, but having to show up physically every day is still too hard on my body. I have no energy left when I get home and cannot keep up with basic chores any longer, sometimes I don't even have energy to make food so I kind of starve....
I've been looking for remote jobs, but haven't been successful so far. I've been sad about not being able to do a PhD because it's too physically demanding and the deadlines and so on.... But then I thought... what if I could do it online, remotely? Maybe even part time too? I was thinking something data science related, since I have programming skills (working with it in my job now too), although not strictly a CS degree.
Has anyone done it before or know of someone who has? Is it even possible?
submitted by throwoheiusfnk to GradSchool [link] [comments]
I graduated Summer last year with a master's degree in neuroscience and always thought I was going to do a PhD afterwards, but the last year where I went from doing courses online to being in a lab every day was just too physically demanding on me and took a serious toll on me.
Ever since then, I've been feeling very lost. I eventually got a job as a research assistant doing mainly computer based work, and it's helped, but having to show up physically every day is still too hard on my body. I have no energy left when I get home and cannot keep up with basic chores any longer, sometimes I don't even have energy to make food so I kind of starve....
I've been looking for remote jobs, but haven't been successful so far. I've been sad about not being able to do a PhD because it's too physically demanding and the deadlines and so on.... But then I thought... what if I could do it online, remotely? Maybe even part time too? I was thinking something data science related, since I have programming skills (working with it in my job now too), although not strictly a CS degree.
Has anyone done it before or know of someone who has? Is it even possible?
2023.04.02 14:19 infoshen Just Got Dumped By My (23F) Ex. She Ghosted Me (24M) On Everything. I Overstepped Her Boundaries. Is This The End?
6 Year Relationship Gone
My Ex-Girlfriend (23) and I (24) dated since high school for 6 and a half years. We have had many ups and downs but we grew to become adults with each other. She is currently pursuing her PHD while I am working so we are in a sort of long distance relationship (2 hour drive). With balancing work, personal life, gym, and the relationship, we still talked every night and I saw her about 2-3 weekends a month. We recently went on a snowboarding trip with many people and had a great time.
Two weeks after the trip, she facetimed me, and dumps me. She said that she is tired of asking for things from me. She is tired of asking for flowers. She is tired of not feeling like a priority in my life. She said she feels like she can do better. She said she has slowly been falling out of love with me a couple days after the snowboarding trip (>2 weeks). She said she didn’t see her marrying me I asked her if there was someone else because this is so sudden, and she said no.
Truth be told, there is some truth in what she said. I didn’t get her as many flowers as she deserved. I didn’t always prioritize her. I regret my complacency and lack of expression of love. When we were together in person on the weekends, we had an amazing time. I always put her first. When I’m home, I am tired from work and then the gym. So I would just play games for 2 hours max and we would call for 30-90 minutes a day on the weekdays.
After our call and we were broken up, I sent her texts of how I realized I messed up. I acknowledged my complacency and lack of expression of love. She didn’t want to talk in person. She wanted me to leave her alone. I tried so hard to contact her. She said she was driving back down for the weekend (only 1 day after breakup). I thought we would talk, but she wanted to part ways. I asked all day respectfully to talk in person. She either ignored me or told her to let her go. At night, I drove to her house and her car wasn’t there. I was worried that she already moved on because why would she drive down and not be home at night. I asked her friend for her location and found her about to take the train to the city and probably go to a club. I asked if we could talk and she walked away and blocked me on everything.
I am ashamed for overstepping her boundaries. I sent one last email as it was the only way to talk to her. I won’t contact her again, but I hope she contacts me. I am thinking of emailing her in a couple of weeks…
submitted by infoshen to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
My Ex-Girlfriend (23) and I (24) dated since high school for 6 and a half years. We have had many ups and downs but we grew to become adults with each other. She is currently pursuing her PHD while I am working so we are in a sort of long distance relationship (2 hour drive). With balancing work, personal life, gym, and the relationship, we still talked every night and I saw her about 2-3 weekends a month. We recently went on a snowboarding trip with many people and had a great time.
Two weeks after the trip, she facetimed me, and dumps me. She said that she is tired of asking for things from me. She is tired of asking for flowers. She is tired of not feeling like a priority in my life. She said she feels like she can do better. She said she has slowly been falling out of love with me a couple days after the snowboarding trip (>2 weeks). She said she didn’t see her marrying me I asked her if there was someone else because this is so sudden, and she said no.
Truth be told, there is some truth in what she said. I didn’t get her as many flowers as she deserved. I didn’t always prioritize her. I regret my complacency and lack of expression of love. When we were together in person on the weekends, we had an amazing time. I always put her first. When I’m home, I am tired from work and then the gym. So I would just play games for 2 hours max and we would call for 30-90 minutes a day on the weekdays.
After our call and we were broken up, I sent her texts of how I realized I messed up. I acknowledged my complacency and lack of expression of love. She didn’t want to talk in person. She wanted me to leave her alone. I tried so hard to contact her. She said she was driving back down for the weekend (only 1 day after breakup). I thought we would talk, but she wanted to part ways. I asked all day respectfully to talk in person. She either ignored me or told her to let her go. At night, I drove to her house and her car wasn’t there. I was worried that she already moved on because why would she drive down and not be home at night. I asked her friend for her location and found her about to take the train to the city and probably go to a club. I asked if we could talk and she walked away and blocked me on everything.
I am ashamed for overstepping her boundaries. I sent one last email as it was the only way to talk to her. I won’t contact her again, but I hope she contacts me. I am thinking of emailing her in a couple of weeks…
2023.04.02 14:12 Fickle-Dance-752 Studied abroad for 3-Years
( This is mostly a vent post)
Bit of a depressing situation. I started studying abroad in the United states in tampa,fl during 2019.
That particularly year was a mess honestly. Way too many things happening all at once. Covid , the inflation situation. The online learning.
I started doing some fundamental math classes instead of doing a one year English program and it did help a lot in terms of reviewing a lot of things.
And being their, having an entire apartment on my own was a dream come true, just having a place to control under my terms was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.
Well, until…..
2020, Online classes began to happen, and it’s like none of the reviewing I did mattered because everyone seemed to be cheating.
Im the type that’s pretty insecure about cheating and I didn’t take entire 18 credit classes like most did, Burning through a lot of the material with ZERO knowledge of anything and just relentlessly abusing tutors.
Eventually, I did end-up taking a class with a bunch friends (Whom I regret taking with) because I thought it would be a good idea to be in groups and just study together.
But no ☺️.
It had to be using cheating methods, and we ended up with the most grumpiest ruthless professor I had ever taken a class with. And cheating under his terms sucked ass.
He put up an online quiz, barely monitored, non-proctored test. And the friends I was with insisted on cheating.
(poor choice of decision making ) I lump myself with them, end up cheating. And some how get caught by this dude, and straight up fails us WITH NO MERCY.
It was literally like the 3rd week and I get kicked out of the course, with no second chance. Just a straight immediate “F”.
(Deppressing , but Im over it. )
Anyways, it seemed like a lot of things happened, one of them being the mass evacuation.
Even though I had a lot of fun going to different places like. (California, Miami, San Diego). Even done a lot activities I haven’t done before like sky diving.
Everything ended with the evacuation.
I was back at home, back to my parents house. Felt like was a kid again, and It’s like Im back at square one.
I stayed at home for like entire year, and I was at a university that was a bit difficult, and never my intention to continue forward with it. But it sort of happened to be that way.
Whoever stayed in the US, wasn’t really giving signs that things were good and dandy, considering how rent kept going right up the roof. And gas and groceries were also becoming really unreasonable.
So, later on I regretted to just transfer my credits back here and just focus graduating. Being with poor conditions didn’t seem to really matter all that much. But I do still think of what I could’ve done differently so I just stayed.
submitted by Fickle-Dance-752 to Kuwait [link] [comments]
Bit of a depressing situation. I started studying abroad in the United states in tampa,fl during 2019.
That particularly year was a mess honestly. Way too many things happening all at once. Covid , the inflation situation. The online learning.
I started doing some fundamental math classes instead of doing a one year English program and it did help a lot in terms of reviewing a lot of things.
And being their, having an entire apartment on my own was a dream come true, just having a place to control under my terms was probably the best thing that ever happened to me.
Well, until…..
2020, Online classes began to happen, and it’s like none of the reviewing I did mattered because everyone seemed to be cheating.
Im the type that’s pretty insecure about cheating and I didn’t take entire 18 credit classes like most did, Burning through a lot of the material with ZERO knowledge of anything and just relentlessly abusing tutors.
Eventually, I did end-up taking a class with a bunch friends (Whom I regret taking with) because I thought it would be a good idea to be in groups and just study together.
But no ☺️.
It had to be using cheating methods, and we ended up with the most grumpiest ruthless professor I had ever taken a class with. And cheating under his terms sucked ass.
He put up an online quiz, barely monitored, non-proctored test. And the friends I was with insisted on cheating.
(poor choice of decision making ) I lump myself with them, end up cheating. And some how get caught by this dude, and straight up fails us WITH NO MERCY.
It was literally like the 3rd week and I get kicked out of the course, with no second chance. Just a straight immediate “F”.
(Deppressing , but Im over it. )
Anyways, it seemed like a lot of things happened, one of them being the mass evacuation.
Even though I had a lot of fun going to different places like. (California, Miami, San Diego). Even done a lot activities I haven’t done before like sky diving.
Everything ended with the evacuation.
I was back at home, back to my parents house. Felt like was a kid again, and It’s like Im back at square one.
I stayed at home for like entire year, and I was at a university that was a bit difficult, and never my intention to continue forward with it. But it sort of happened to be that way.
Whoever stayed in the US, wasn’t really giving signs that things were good and dandy, considering how rent kept going right up the roof. And gas and groceries were also becoming really unreasonable.
So, later on I regretted to just transfer my credits back here and just focus graduating. Being with poor conditions didn’t seem to really matter all that much. But I do still think of what I could’ve done differently so I just stayed.
2023.04.02 14:12 eliyah23rd Redesign of the project for self-reflection using GPT to make it configurable, modular, and no-code.
I am interested in conducting experiments with GPT technology, specifically developing GPT-based applications that can read books and reflect on each paragraph, creating explicit rules based on similarities, constructing ethical frameworks, and developing programs that enable people to keep their personal data at home while communicating with distributed, open AI ecosystems. To accomplish this, I have reconfigured the coding framework to make building and running experiments more efficient and improve the visibility of the code flow while keeping debugging time to a minimum.
I have created a modular system of self-reflective units that can be easily configured and does not require programming. The basic unit is the module, which defines variables as inputs, outputs, or internal and generally defines an execution such as making a GPT function call or running a small piece of code. The second essential component is the flow, which consists of a set of nodes, each of which typically uses a single module. A node calculates outputs based on its inputs or performs actions with side-effects and determines the next node to execute. Loops can be created by defining a sequence of nodes that execute one after the other.
The ultimate goal is to develop self-reflecting AI applications that think about what they are doing and learn from their experience. This code redesign is intended to speed the progress of future experiments and make the code-base more accessible to others who want to experiment along with the user.
For details and code please check out the Github repository.
submitted by eliyah23rd to GPT3 [link] [comments]
I have created a modular system of self-reflective units that can be easily configured and does not require programming. The basic unit is the module, which defines variables as inputs, outputs, or internal and generally defines an execution such as making a GPT function call or running a small piece of code. The second essential component is the flow, which consists of a set of nodes, each of which typically uses a single module. A node calculates outputs based on its inputs or performs actions with side-effects and determines the next node to execute. Loops can be created by defining a sequence of nodes that execute one after the other.
The ultimate goal is to develop self-reflecting AI applications that think about what they are doing and learn from their experience. This code redesign is intended to speed the progress of future experiments and make the code-base more accessible to others who want to experiment along with the user.
For details and code please check out the Github repository.
2023.04.02 14:11 Pootan_polo Father! There are times when we lie clumsily.
- "I have finished my homework" (when I was little)
- "I haven't done anything wrong"
- "I'm okay, I'm full!"
- "I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol"
2023.04.02 14:06 assault_shakr TMX Gaming - Chill Survival Server
Server Name: Chill Survival
Discord Link: https://discord.gg/UmGMYbn7
IP Address: steam://65.49.143.68:27016
Timezone: PST (but we have players from many timezones)
Platform: PC
Combat: PVE unless both parties agree to pvp
Mods:
Nanobot Build and Repair System
Space Just Got Real
Speed
Build Vision 3.0
BuildInfo (extra block+terminal info, air leak finder)
Text HUD API
Norca Engineers HUD - Coloured
Scope Framework
WeaponCore - Replace Vanilla Weapons
Eyes Just Got Clear
Screen Gunk Be Gone!
Sneaky Sounds - Quieter Tools
HUD Compass
Camera Panning - rotate camera view
AQD - Small Grid Expansion
[QoL] CleanModCategories
TBH - Heavier Containers
Zardos Connector Passageway & More
Better Respawn Pods
[QoL] Radio Spectrometry
Welder Eyestrain Reduction
AQD - Concrete
CraftableConsumables
MA Stackable Wind Turbine
Projections To Assembler
High-power Spotlight
Paint Gun - realistic painting for survival + special blocks
Definition Extension API
Rich HUD Master
Small Oxygen Tank
[CRD] Scaffolding Repack
More Pistons
AQD - Upgradeable Gyroscopes
The Iron Maiden
NorthWind Weapons
WeaponCore - 2.4
Defense Shields
[Mexpex] MWI - Homing Weaponry
NorthWind Heavy Equipment
Colorful Icons
Binoculars
Rebels Lights
Industrial Thruster REWORKED
Rebels Gates
Beefier OxyHydro Generator
[QoL] Production Quota
[VSI] Recolorable Thrusters
SmartRotors: Solar
Life'Tech_LCD Console
Modular Encounters Systems
Reavers: Terror of the Verse
Hacking Computer
Suppress Vanilla Cargo Ships
Suppress Vanilla Encounters
Drills+
[QoL] Seismic Surveying
Assertive Combat Systems
Advanced Welding - detaching and reattaching blocks!
Ganymede Incinerator
[QoL] Mechanical Keybinds
Atlas
Ganymede Tech - Battery
Tiered Engine Super Pack
ITCC Weapons Pack - WeaponCore
Ore Detector+
Retractable Landing Gear
submitted by assault_shakr to spaceengineers [link] [comments]
Discord Link: https://discord.gg/UmGMYbn7
IP Address: steam://65.49.143.68:27016
Timezone: PST (but we have players from many timezones)
Platform: PC
Combat: PVE unless both parties agree to pvp
Mods
Nanobot Build and Repair System
Space Just Got Real
Speed
Build Vision 3.0
BuildInfo (extra block+terminal info, air leak finder)
Text HUD API
Norca Engineers HUD - Coloured
Scope Framework
WeaponCore - Replace Vanilla Weapons
Eyes Just Got Clear
Screen Gunk Be Gone!
Sneaky Sounds - Quieter Tools
HUD Compass
Camera Panning - rotate camera view
AQD - Small Grid Expansion
[QoL] CleanModCategories
TBH - Heavier Containers
Zardos Connector Passageway & More
Better Respawn Pods
[QoL] Radio Spectrometry
Welder Eyestrain Reduction
AQD - Concrete
CraftableConsumables
MA Stackable Wind Turbine
Projections To Assembler
High-power Spotlight
Paint Gun - realistic painting for survival + special blocks
Definition Extension API
Rich HUD Master
Small Oxygen Tank
[CRD] Scaffolding Repack
More Pistons
AQD - Upgradeable Gyroscopes
The Iron Maiden
NorthWind Weapons
WeaponCore - 2.4
Defense Shields
[Mexpex] MWI - Homing Weaponry
NorthWind Heavy Equipment
Colorful Icons
Binoculars
Rebels Lights
Industrial Thruster REWORKED
Rebels Gates
Beefier OxyHydro Generator
[QoL] Production Quota
[VSI] Recolorable Thrusters
SmartRotors: Solar
Life'Tech_LCD Console
Modular Encounters Systems
Reavers: Terror of the Verse
Hacking Computer
Suppress Vanilla Cargo Ships
Suppress Vanilla Encounters
Drills+
[QoL] Seismic Surveying
Assertive Combat Systems
Advanced Welding - detaching and reattaching blocks!
Ganymede Incinerator
[QoL] Mechanical Keybinds
Atlas
Ganymede Tech - Battery
Tiered Engine Super Pack
ITCC Weapons Pack - WeaponCore
Ore Detector+
Retractable Landing Gear
2023.04.02 14:02 browneorum NoP: Offspring. Chapter 28. Underlings.
Turin, gojid Cradle ecologist.
Date [standardised human time]: May 5th, 2120
(16 years, 4 months before the invasion of the gojid Cradle).
Turin was pacing rapidly. She had checked, unpacked, and re-checked their first aid supplies. She had cleared the house of clutter and gone over their contingencies. But all the busy work had been done, and now Turin had to face it. This was it; this was the trap that Juran had set.
Braq’s voice had been curt and desperate on the radio having signaled her from Ki-yu’s den. A pair of children had been spotted on the mountain pass cameras, right where the roht tracks had been found. He had warned her to keep back, be ready to call assistance. It made sense, and without a second buggy she would not reach them for hours on foot anyway. But that left her and Imdi to sit and wait. Turin could not allow her fear to rule her, it would only distress her son.
Turin made two shaky cups of tea, trying to distract them with his homework. It was a simple short essay, but the lad struggled with his letters at the best of times. Just sitting beside him, she reflected on how much Imdi had grown. He was still a little boy, helpless in his own way, but clearly a person besides. What a strange symbiosis parenthood is; we need our children as much as they need us. Her mind wandered to the two youths on the trail camera. It could only have been Yotun and Callio, they were the closest, and the most likely to go wandering.
Juran’s played us, she realised. Either we call for help and acknowledge that there are dangerous predators here, or we feign ignorance and become complicit. Either way…
“Why…?” she whispered absentmindedly.
“Why what, Mama?” Imdi asked beside her. She shook her head, giving him a casual pat.
“Sorry sweetheart, I got distracted.” If we call for help we damn ourselves, if we don’t we damn ourselves again. We can hide Ki-yu, but we can’t hide this…
Turin snatched up the radio when it burst into static. It was something of a relief, even if it was short-lived. The mountainous terrain interfered with the signal, but Braq’s broken voice told her enough. The girl is dead, all others injured. She stood there with the silent handheld pressed to her ear. She heard the ocean roar about her mind, crashing white water above a darkened abyss. Braq and Ki-yu are still alive. She took the thought and lit it as a lamp to light her cabin.
"No,” she whispered. He can play his game, but I won't.
Turin called the ambulance right away. It would be at least two hours before a first responder reached them from the city. At the very least that gave them plenty of time to hide their daughter away. She was shaking as she made the last of three calls, the ringing signal grating against her quills.
“What’s happening Mama?” Imdi asked, still sitting at the table. With a heavy breath, she sat beside him once more. He looked at her quizzically as she pulled him away from his homework.
“It, uh, it seems that Callio and Yotun wandered onto the property. They’ve been hurt.”
“Hurt?” he squeaked. “Hurt bad?” She nodded, trying to keep her expression calm rather than crestfallen.
“Oh, sweetheart… I’m so sorry…”
~*~
They heard the buggy coming before they saw it, the roar of its engine waking Turin from the windowsill with a start. Imdi awoke in her lap as she moved to her feet, rubbing his raw eyes groggily. A quick glance at the clock told her it had been about an hour. She updated the silent countdown in her head, a sliver of worry that she had called for help too soon.
“Oh,” Imdi whimpered, looking up at her with a tear-dried face.
“Shh…” she coddled him. “Don’t worry.”
The buggy came screeching to a halt outside, and Turin took a breath to steady herself. We just have to keep moving, crest one wave and then the next.
Braq’s silhouette was already exiting the vehicle as she charged out the front door and toward the buggy. The afternoon sun had crashed into a meagre pale sundown, the lightest of yellows across the western sky.
“Braq!” she called out, blinded by the vehicle’s headlights. She almost stopped before she reached them, the smell of blood was frightfully strong. “Wha-?!”
“Keep him back!” Braq barked, cutting off the engine and the lights before he leaned into the backseat. Turin set down their son with a quick kiss. She hurried forward as Braq pulled back. Their daughter hung limply in his arms. A strip of pale fabric had been tied tight about her tail, slowly staining scarlet.
“Oh, Protector…” Turin moaned, reaching for the girl. Her endarkened eyelids fluttered at her voice, lips drawing into a pained smile as she felt Turin’s paw on her face.
“Mama…” she mumbled.
“It’s okay,” Turin whispered, “you’re home now.” Yotun was sitting idly in the passenger seat, watching them intensely. The look on his tear-marked face was one Turin thought belonged on war veterans and cattle victims.
“Th-the girl?” she asked weakly.
“She’s on the backseat,” Braq said hoarsely, blocking her path as she tried to look around him. “D-don’t,” he groaned. “Just don’t.” Yotun slid out of his seat. Turin glanced over at her son who was fretting with his claws nearby. “Imdi go help Yotun inside.”
“O-okay,” he mumbled. His eyes went wide at the long gashes in the approaching boy’s forearm, but he just swallowed hard and took his other paw. “Is Ku going to be okay?” he asked worriedly.
“Ku…” Yotun wheezed, almost a laugh.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” she murmured, nodding to the lodge. “Go on.” She looked up at her partner's haggard face, silently asking the same.
“Broken tail,” he said, “cr-cracked ribs I’d suspect.”
“Internal damage? A haemorrhage?”
“N-no I don’t think so,” he panted, hobbling past her toward the house. The breath left her at the sight of her beloved’s back.
“Braq!” she gasped. A pair of long diagonal slashes had been cut from shoulder blade to pelvis, broken spines hanging loosely. Whilst the bleeding had stopped, the exposed tissue was shifting and raw beneath his torn hide. He was also limping, she saw, a fearful bitemark around his right ankle. Turin wanted to scream as she started after him.
“I’m okay,” he grunted, shifting all his weight onto his left leg as he walked. No, no you’re not! “Looks worse than it is. You called the parents?” he continued, ignoring their torment.
“Y-yeah,” she mumbled as they hurried through the threshold. Imdi had sat Yotun on the couch and was carefully setting out one of the first aid kits. The skinny boy looked up stiffly as they entered. “At least Laenar and Arrut. They’ll be here soon. Teraka didn’t answer.” Braq let out a shuddering sigh.
“W-we need to get her sorted before they arrive,” he said. With a short yip of pain, Ki-yu reached out for the couch. Her dark paw gripped Yotun’s shoulder stopping them from passing, the boy wide-eyed and slack-jawed at the contact. Ki-yu’s voice was slurred and lethargic, each breath heavy and deliberate.
“Pretty… drawings…” she wheezed. “Remember… burn… the forest…” Yotun bristled. Turin reached down and gently unhooked her claws, taking some comfort in their strength still despite her injuries.
“Hide her,” she told Braq. He shook his head.
“I n-need to get Callio from the buggy.”
“No, you look after Ki-yu,” she said firmly. “I’ll go get her.”
“N-no, it’s bad, I ca-”
“Braq, beloved. Look after her.” Braq looked quickly from Turin to the girl in his arms, before reluctantly nodding. Ki-yu was still mumbling as Braq walked with her down to her hidden bedding room.
“W-woods… stars…” Turin heard her say.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Braq whispered to her. “Try and rest.” Imdi tugged at Turin’s leg.
“Baba’s hurt…” her son mumbled.
“I know,” she said, rubbing his scalp. “He’s just got to look after Ki-yu for a little while. Okay?”
“O-okay…” He looked at her more insistently. “Mama, is Ku gonna be alright?”
“I…” He should not have to see any of this. The words caught in her throat, so she just nodded. “Why don’t you go help Baba, hm?”
“Okay…” he mumbled, doddering down the gloomy hall after them. Turin wished she could join them, to hold them all close and whisper sweet nothings.
If I stop now, I’ll drown.
Turin moved to where Imdi had studiously spread out the first aid kit and crouched down.
“Hey,” she said as softly as possible. “I need to take a look at that.”
Yotun flinched as she touched him, from fear or pain she knew not which. Turin pulled the arm straight as tenderly as she could. Yotun whimpered as she washed out the wound but otherwise said nothing. He just sat there, numb, quiet, and broken. The mother in her wailed. I can mend his arm at least. She bandaged it carefully, gave him some painkillers, and told him to try and rest.
Still, even that task was preferable to what Turin had to do next. She retrieved some white sheets from the laundry. They were not true funerary shrouds, specially thickened to prevent the dead’s quills from piercing the fabric, but they would do.
The pre-night gloom was setting in as Turin stepped outside again. The cool air carried a crying choir of forest creatures, making Turin feel like she was standing in a dream. She walked stiffly out to the buggy, stopping before she had the chance to look inside. The smell had only grown, but it was more than mere disgust; a bubble of terror encircled the vehicle. Crushing down the thundering panic before it built, Turin peered into the buggy. On one backseat was a small body, partially obscured by a bloodied poncho. Callio’s creamy fur peaked from beneath the fabric in places, tinged a dark blue. A tide of azure had flowed down into the seats, building a dried pattern in the footwell.
Turin turned away, stifling a keen. She remembered their first meeting, how that harrowing confrontation had become a cheerful moment of play by the seaside. She was so happy, Turin recalled. So bright. No more… Collecting herself, she retrieved the rifle, wedged haphazardly into the driver’s door, noting how the metalwork had buckled around the central chamber. She shrugged the strap over her shoulder and turned back to the body. I will not flinch, she told herself as she pulled back the covering. We owe her that much.
She did not balk, but it hurt her not to.
Callio lay on her side with closed eyes, curled up as if asleep. She was as at peace as she could be. Turin spread the sheet across the ground and moved to lay the girl to rest. She shuddered and stopped when shifting the torso made the head turn unnaturally, biting into the back of her own paw to stop herself from screaming. This could have been Braq… or Ki-yu… or even Imdi… Oh, Protector… With a shaky sigh, she laid her down on the sheet and, as respectfully as she could, Turin enwrapped the girl in white. The death of her aunt had been the first time Turin had seen loss, felt grief. To see that plump woman, full of raucous laughter, fond of gaiety and song, reduced to a body enwrapped and entombed…
Turin decided that she hated pale sheets as she carried Callio inside.
She laid the body on the table, then placed the broken weapon on the counter. Yotun still sat stiffly on the couch, as unmoving as a statue. Turin covered the first shawl with a thicker sheet, the form appearing less and less like a person. Looking down she saw blood had soaked onto her overalls, all over her paws. The clothing was ruined, but Turin would never want to wear it again anyway. She stripped and tossed her clothing into the bin. It felt as though the smell had sunk through her skin. She moved to the sink, trying to scrub the blood from herself, but the sponge just came away blue. She turned on the hot water until it was near scalding, trying to clean beneath her claws. It sloughed off her, falling into the inky depths. Turin made a quiet sob, shaking her head to try and will away her wet eyes.
“Mama?” Imdi squeaked behind her. Turin coughed, drying her hands.
“Yes, sweetheart?” she said, quickly wiping her tears. The boy was looking at the body with tearful eyes.
“Wh-what’s happening?” Falling to one knee, she pulled him to her breast.
“Something terrible, love.” She kissed his forehead, the smell of him like a prescient memory, cleansing the nauseating tones of death.
“Mama… I’m scared.”
“I know, it’ll be okay,” she whispered, swallowing to stop her voice from breaking.
“I d-don’t want to be scared,” he whispered. “I wanna be fearless, like you.” Turin let out a tearful chuckle. She leaned back against the cabinet, holding her son’s head gently in her paws.
“I’m not fearless,” she told him. His dark brown eyes were searching her own, the scar on his lip twitching. “Wanna know a secret? Everyone feels scared from time to time.”
“Even Ku?”
“Aheh… maybe a little.” She smiled as she flattened his spines. My handsome little man. “Listen. There’ll be many times in your life when you feel afraid.” She curled a knuckle on his breast. “Where you feel it ball up, right here, and you want to run away and hide. That fear will always be there. But you don’t have to run and hide. That fear can make you strong and brave if you let it push you. And the only way to do that is to try. So,” she rubbed his cheeks with the balls of her thumbs, ”will you be brave?” He snuffled, his tiny face pulling into a fretted smile.
“Okay,” he whispered. “I’ll try.” She brought her forehead to his.
“Good boy.” The soft fur of his face tickled her nose.
If I stop now I’ll drown.
“We’ll, uh, be having visitors soon,” she rasped, pulling back. “I… need to get ready… Why don’t you try and get ready for bed, hm?” The boy nodded a little reluctantly, disappearing down the hall once more.
Turin tried to distract herself by scrubbing through the security footage again, focusing her efforts on the hills around the attack. All trace of her needed to be cleared. But in the corner of her eye, she saw Imdi come toddling back. He sat on the couch beside the thinner boy.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hey,” Yotun replied, his eyes foggy and distant.
“Your arm…” Imdi mumbled, glancing cagily at him. “Does it hurt?”
“Yeah.” Yotun sniffed. He looked at the table, as though seeing it for the first time. The white cloth was a shroud over too small a body. “Your… ‘sister’… an arxur?”
“My sister,” Imdi said dryly, his gaze also lingering on the dead girl. “The arxur.” He sniffed. Then he sniffled. Very quickly he was crying, the quiet sound breaking Yotun from his stupor. An instant later the older boy was sobbing too and, in a moment that broke Turin’s heart, he put his working arm around the younger boy. The two leaned on each other for strength and cried.
Turin did what she could. She lit the fire, gave them blankets, and made some more tea. When she brought it to them, she found they had fallen into an exhausted sleep.
Soon thereafter, Braq hobbled back into the room. Her beloved wore a weary, complex expression as he looked at the sleeping boys, but she could see him take note of, then close off the sight of the girl on the table.
“Passed out,” he reported, moving to her side. “She was in a lot of pain. I’ve, uh, put some ice on her ribs, best we can do is to keep her still for a bit.”
“Oh, she’ll hate that,” Turin mumbled. She nodded to the boys. “This one should be okay, at least in the arm.”
“He, uh… was brave.” Braq conferred quietly. “I think he tried to lure it away from… from her, but…” He shook his head. “Stupid boy… What about the cameras?”
“Just going over the more recent stuff,” Turin said. Braq groaned deeply, then hissed at the twisting broken skin of his back as he leaned forward. Turin stood and pulled him toward the better-lit kitchen.
“Come here, let me sort you out.” Grumbling, her partner begrudgingly followed her.
His ankle had started to swell, the skin a deep purple. They applied some ice to bring down the swelling, but it would need to be thoroughly washed as well. Making him swallow some painkillers, she laid him face down on the countertop to clean his back.
“What happened?” she asked as she brought some hot water and cloth.
“She’d caught scent of it, found a path it was using regularly. We set up the bait, had headed back to her den to check the cameras.” He hissed as she layered on the first cloth. “That’s when we saw them. They were heading –ah!– right for it. I-I drove as fast as I could but…” His paws shook with anxious energy. “I told her to stay back, stay hidden but she didn’t listen. Heh,” he snorted sardonically. “Good thing too.” He looked her dead in the eye over his shoulder. “She killed it. Damn near ripped its head off.” Turin focused hard on the cleaning, trying not to mull over the implications. The disinfectant stung more than the water, Braq’s back taught from stress, fatigue, and pain. Turin kept talking to distract him.
“If, um, someone finds it, they’ll see her teeth marks…”
“I hid that,” he said. “Gun nearly blew apart, but I shot it point blank. Should look like I got it.” Yes… that could work… She took the opportunity to wash the wound in his ankle, the mucky, bloodied fluid staining the floor.
“I’ll have to clean that up,” Braq groaned, his face pressing into the countertop. Turin chuckled, tossing down a towel.
“You better,” she said glibly. Now cleaned, she could see the clear paired punctures where the roht’s canines had dug in, one tooth piercing to the bone. She wrapped it up tightly.
“Lover… the paramedics will have to have a look at this.”
“Figured,” he grumbled. Now clean, she sutured shut the broken hide of her beloved’s broad back. It would scar, and he may even lose quills, but it would heal. Braq got up almost before the last suture went in.
“You should sit and rest,” she told him, grabbing his wrist.
“So should you,” he said without spite. His paw came up beneath her chin, and she saw in his eyes the same wailing despair she felt. If I stop now I’ll drown. Braq made to hug her, but she stopped him with a palm on his chest.
“Please don’t…” she pleaded. She needed to stay strong for now. He took her paw and rubbed it absently but nodded. With a shaky sniff, he gestured to the sleeping boys.
“One of us needs to talk to him,” he said. “Which one do you want?”
“I-I’ll do it. Go keep an eye on the kids.” She squeezed his paw and kissed it. “We’ll be okay.”
“I know.” he said, leaving her leaning against the counter. He at least seemed to believe it. Braq leaned over the couch and lifted his son as carefully as he could, wincing at the pain in his foot. He nestled him in the crook of his massive arms, and walked down to his room.
With a heavy sigh, Turin sat down on the couch beside Yotun, still curled up in sleep.
“Yotun?” She tapped his knee. He stirred quickly with a frantic, panicked breath, crawling across the cushions. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Y-you didn’t,” he mumbled, drawing the blanket about him.
“Is your arm still hurting?” The boy nodded weakly, not meeting her eyes.
“Here,” she gave him his lukewarm cup of tea, noticing how his paws twitched and shuddered. Turin wished she could give him some time to recover, to reconcile, but they only had minutes now at best.
“I’m… so very sorry, sweetie,” she said softly, “but we need to talk before your parents get here.” Yotun swallowed hard.
“What’d y-you tell them?”
“That you’ve been hurt, and that a predator did it.” Turin sighed. “But we’re not talking about that, are we? We’re talking about Ki-yu.” Yotun looked at her like she had grown antlers, but the expression passed quickly.
“I k-kinda guessed,” he whispered. “But it didn’t make sense. You’ve been keeping her here? This whole time?”
“Yes,” she said. “I wish you could get the chance to know her properly.”
“She… left me…” he mumbled. “Alone… in the dark…”
“Yes. And afterward she turned up here in the middle of the night, a shivering, broken wreck. I’ve never seen her cry so much.” The boy looked up at her mistily.
“She… cried?” He shook his head morosely. “It doesn’t matter. It’s all over now…”
“Is it?” Turin asked, willing fire into her voice. “She certainly doesn’t seem to think so. ‘Burn the forest?’” He flinched. “She knows the risks of her discovery, far better than anyone. She knows that if it comes to it…” Turin stopped before she broke down. “And yet, she risked it all for you. In a heartbeat. She put her trust in you, Yotun.”
“Sh-she sh-shouldn’t have… I-I’m just a st-stupid kid!”
“I-” The alarm wailed for a split-second before Turin turned reached over and turned it all off, hiding their security system.
“Wh-what was that?”
“Proximity alert. Someone’s coming.”
“My parents?”
“Most likely.” Yotun drew himself down. This isn’t working…
Braq came limping up the hall.
“She’s still asleep, secure,” he said.
“Okay,” Turin breathed. “Then sit down, for Kay-ut’s sake, before you make that worse.” He settled into the windowsill seat. Turin placed a paw on Yotun’s uninjured arm.
“They’ll kill her,” she said firmly. “If you mention her at all, to anyone, they’ll kill her.”
“M-my p-parents wouldn’t-”
“Yes,” Turin said with a sad smile, knowing as all parents do. “They absolutely would.”
”They’d tell someone else at the very least,” Braq sighed. “And then they’d come for us all.”
“A-and they’d burn it all down to find her,” the boy shuddered.
The hovercar’s thwopping was now audible.
“We shouldn’t have to ask this of you, lad.” Braq said. “You’ve suffered too much already. But I think you know we’d both be dead right now without her.” Turin’s stomach rolled. Yotun looked fearfully between the two of them.
“Y-you’re asking me to lie?!”
“From what she’s told us, you’re the closest thing Ki-yu’s ever had to a real friend.” Turin implored him. “We’re asking you to save her.” Braq looked out of the window as she said it.
“They’re here.”
A door slammed outside. If I stop now I’ll drown. Turin gave his arm one last squeeze.
“Our lives are in your paws, Yotun.”
Please, please, please save her…
“Yotun!” Laenar cried out desperately, the front door thrown open as they charged in. Turin backed off as quickly as she could, knowing better than to come between them now.
“Oh, my boy!” The mother fell to her knees beside him. “Thank The Protector! Oh, your arm! Gods!” Stopping in the middle of the room, Arrut drew a quick sharp breath, his eyes on the table.
“Mercy…” he said simply, the light from the fireplace casting long shadows across the room. Laenar made a muted gasp, pulling Yotun tight against her. “The girl…?”
“Callio.” Braq said quietly. It was almost a whimper. There was a long silence, the only sound Laenar’s muted breathing.
“Wh-where’s the ambulance?” Arrut asked weakly. “Why didn’t you call an ambulance?”
“Too late,” Braq murmured mournfully. “It… it all happened too fast.”
“There’s one coming now,” Turin said, rubbing her forehead. “To… collect the body.”
“That’s not an ambulance,” Laenar said weakly. Arrut pulled his eyes away from the table, falling heavily into the chair beside Braq.
“My… stars man,” he murmured. “The state of your back…”
“Think of your son, you idiot!” Laenar gasped. Arrut shot her an incredulous look back.
“The wounds clean. H-he should be alright physically-” Turin started.
“Alright?! He’s been mauled!” She pulled her son’s face up to her. “What h-happened? Why were you out there?” His expression crumpled.
“We wanted to see the woods,” he said quietly.
“Wha- Why…?” The pudgy woman suddenly glared at Turin. “You did this! You perverted pair of-!”
“Laenar!” Arrut yelled. “That’s enough!”
“No, I’m sick of these people! Sick of this place! Why don’t you just-!”
“Shut up, Mother, shut up!” Yotun started yelling. “I did this, this’s my fault!” He winced as he jerked his slashed arm at them. “Braq saved me!”
”You’ve been through a lot, you don’t-!”
“M-my fau-lt! My-!” His words became incoherent, a violent sorrowful wailing. Laenar relented, looking as broken as her son. The boy was inconsolable, unable to speak, so Braq recounted what had happened. The parents listened intently, not saying a word. He told them how they had suspected something was not right in the Brackwood, carefully leaving out the signs of roht they had kept to themselves. He told them that he had found a dead vyrryn and tracks in the snow and had been watching the cameras when he had spotted the children. Braq’s voice broke when he explained how he had not got there in time. As his voice trailed off Turin knew that he was replaying those dreadful moments over and over again in his head.
Arrut stood, rubbing his mouth.
“Why didn’t you call the authorities?” he asked. “If you suspected there was this roht creature about, why didn’t you call for help?” Turin and Braq shared a glance.
“Because it doesn’t make sense,” she said. “Roht were never found here. They’re practically extinct.”
“So, what?” Laenar grunted. “You based your safety, all our safety, on your intuition?”
“No,” Braq said. “We’ve found… plasma wounds on animals, many fatal. Someone else has been in our woods.” He rubbed his face with both paws. “We don’t know who to trust.”
“And you think, what they’re trying to scare you off?” She scoffed. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Believe what you want,” Turin snapped. “We’ve got the photos to prove that someone’s been shooting our animals.”
“But… who would go wandering out here?” Arrut asked. “Most people are terrified of this place.”
Before anyone could answer, the sound of another arriving vehicle drew their attention, Braq glancing out the window. He leaned forward.
“Well… you were right,” he said. “It’s not an ambulance.” A quiet stillness came over them as the engine died; the gravel outside crunched beneath approaching steps. Moonlight filtered through the front window; the shadow of an impossibly tall man descended across their home. The phantom coalesced by the threshold, the figure looming for a moment. Then he straightened and knocked. Nobody moved. He knocked again, the noise rattling about Turin’s skull. She looked over at Braq and saw ire and worry warring in his eyes. A third knock, more insistent. Fuck…
Turin walked over and opened the door.
“Good evening Turin,” Juran said, giving her the slightest bow. His pale eyes hovered like pinpricks in the night.
“Juran. What’re you… doing… here…” Her voice left her as she saw who stood behind him. Juran strode past her as she struggled to form a thought.
“We were forwarded a rather desperate-sounding emergency call. Needless to say, we came as soon as we could.” There was a crashing, thundering sound in Turin’s ears. The other just stood there, looking at her expectantly. “Oh dear, nasty business this,” Juran was saying, stepping closer to the body. He clicked his tongue, as though examining shoddy craftmanship. “Very nasty business.” Juran looked quickly around the room, his eyes devouring all they saw. “And two survivors?” He clapped his paws together. “We were worried.”
“We?” Braq asked hoarsely.
“Oh, yes, I was meeting with an old friend.”
He strode in with the same confidence as the extermination officer.
“Teraka…” Arrut gasped. Juran stopped. Everyone stopped. They all just looked at him. Teraka looked nonplussed for a moment, but then he noticed the other parents’ gaze. His eyes passed over them questioningly.
“T-Teraka,” Turin gulped. “I couldn’t reach you… you didn’t…” The man looked at the body, then at Yotun. The lad was shaking, sobbing again in his mother’s arms.
“What is this?” Teraka hissed, his suave exterior melting away. Juran’s pale eyes narrowed, his head moving in a steady glacial turn to Turin. For the first time, she felt like she was actually looking at him. A long time ago, she would have called his expression predatory; now she would simply call it cruel.
“No…” Teraka gasped, pushing Juran aside as he staggered forward. He moved around the table like he feared it would cut him. Tenderly, he pulled back the sheets. It was… disturbing, how little the man reacted. He stilled, all that constant movement, those ceaseless platitudes quieted. He just stood there and looked.
“I suppose we’ve found what killed that brynn foal,” Juran said thinly. The chair squealed as Braq stood, her husband’s face contorting from the pain in his leg. Juran might have been taller, but Braq was undoubtedly the bigger man.
“Really?” he said, looking up at him. “’Cause I’d say that roht was only two or three years old. It would have been an infant when that brynn was killed.”
“Ah, quite right you are,” Juran said with a flash of teeth. “There must have been others.” Her beloved’s fists were held so tight the claws bit into his palms. “Well, regardless this will have to be thoroughly investigated. And of-” Juran was interrupted as Teraka strode over and struck him across the face. The tall man toppled into the bookshelf, clutching at his snout as their small library came tumbling down around him.
“Bastard!” Teraka snarled, his claws digging into Juran’s throat. A shout went out, Turin knew not from who, as the two men struggled. Laenar was gasping noisily trying to shield her son; Arrut and Braq trying to pull the raging father back but finding Teraka’s quills before them. Juran’s paws sinched tight around the smaller man’s wrists, and with a ferocious roar, he stood as quickly as he could, headbutting Teraka under the chin. Teraka staggered backward into the table, the legs screaming murder against the woodwork, Turin only barely stopping Callio’s body from sliding from it. The others were yelling at them, but the two men did not care as they traded blows like trained fighters. They fought viciously, reminding Turin of how Ki-yu hunted; no movement was wasted, no moment savoured. Teraka ducked under a wide backhand, jabbing with his claws for Juran’s chest. Juran blocked with his offhand, using his greater reach to keep Teraka at bay. He threw a brutal left hook that Teraka countered, then trapped. Growling in pain, Juran blocked Teraka’s follow-up, snatching a firm grip on the smaller man’s throat. His grip was so tight Turin saw his claws draw blood. Choking, Teraka kneed him in the groin, then palm struck him in the gullet. The two fell back wheezing, circling one another with quills out and eyes wide with rage.
“You’ve taken everything from me!” Teraka howled. Juran glared at him with his pale eyes, blood flowing down from his snout. “My job! My decency! My daughter!”
“You knew the cost!” he spat back. “It’s you who’ve betrayed my trust. I thought better of you…”
Surging in, Braq gripped Teraka’s left arm, trying to twist it around his back before the fight could resume. But the enraged father kicked the other man’s weakened leg out from under him, dropping him unceremoniously to the floor. With a bellowing cry, Arrut tackled Juran around the middle, the two crashing into the kitchen tiles. Teraka moved to make after them, but Braq took the opportunity to swipe out Teraka’s legs from the floor, evening the score. Growling like an animal, Braq pinned him on his back. Wrestling free of Arrut, Juran rose forward with murderous intent in his pale eyes. Fuck this! Turin snatched up the rifle where it still lay on the counter.
“Hey!” she snarled, the sound of her ratcheting the lever stalling the melee. The weapon had been damaged by the roht; Turin doubted it would fire at all, but the threat was sufficient. “I will not have any more blood spilled in my house!” Teraka struggled in Braq’s grapple.
“There is more at stake than this little shack!” the man hissed.
“Mind your words, Teraka,” Juran’s voice was as thin and sharp as a needle. “Or the cost will be far greater than one little girl.”
“Enough!” Turin roared. “Juran, we’ll cooperate with whatever investigation you deem necessary,” she barked, hiding the fearful lie behind the fire in her voice. “But for now, you’re leaving. I suggest you get that nose looked at.” There was a long and painful silence. The tall man regained his posture, wiping his nose.
“Thank you,” he said with a sickly-sweet smile. There was blood in his teeth. “My apologies for the disturbance, that was most unprofessional. I’ll be in touch.” With one last icy look at them all, he strode out into the night. Teraka struggled beneath Braq as his car shot up into the sky.
“Why’d you do that?!” he spat when he finally released him. “Why’d you do that, wh-why?!” And then he was crying, a pitiful, ruined wailing as he almost fell over the body of his little girl. They could not pull him away; he just kept crying. He was crying when Yotun left with his parents, and he was still crying when the ambulance finally arrived to take her away.
~*~
Ki-yu’s breathing had steadied, ice and a pillow across her chest seeming to help her sleep. Arxur were strong, and the bone had not shifted. The tail required more work —a splint and sutures— but the girl had slept through their treatment. With enough time, they were confident she would suffer no more than a new scar.
Turin's paw brushed across Ki-yu’s sheets, bloodied a fiery crimson. The mother swallowed a sob as she thought of Callio again. Ki-yu made a groaning sound, shifting slightly as her dark eyes flickered open. She peered up at Turin curiously, and for a second she almost seemed bemused. But then she felt her ribs, the ache making her whine.
“Hey,” Turin cooed, feeling the warmth of her scalp. “How do you feel?”
“Thirsty,” she rasped. Turin reached back for the cup of water she had brought.
“Here,” she whispered, bringing it to her scaly lips. “We’ll get you something to eat tomorrow.” Ki-yu gulped it down, then coughed slightly.
“I’ll be okay-”
“No, you’ll eat tomorrow,” Turin said, looking at her sharply. Ki-yu rattled a small huff but nodded.
“Wh-what happened?” she asked. “I thought I heard shouting…” Turin rubbed her paws on her knees.
“Teraka… I don’t think anyone would ever take that well…” Ki-yu scrunched up her face. A moment later recollection returned.
“Oh… I-” She started panting quickly, snorting out wet sobs. The girl dropped her head heavily onto her pillow, wet tears welling in her eyes. Snuffling, she started beating her snout against her bedding.
“Hey… sweetheart…” Turin purred, rubbing her shoulder. “Talk to me…” Ki-yu swallowed, a sound that was almost an Umph!
“I-I w-wasn’t f-fast enough, wa-sn’t good enough-!” The mother pushed her way onto the bed, laying her head on the damp pillow as she pulled her as tightly against her as she could.
“Shhh… You were superb.”
“B-but she-!” Ki-yu sniffled against her.
“You gave her a fighting chance, sweetie. You couldn’t have done any more.” Ki-yu was silent for a short moment, snuggling against her fuzzy chest. Turin hoped it gave the girl the same comfort as her.
“Yotun?”
“He’s gone home with his parents. So far, he hasn’t told them about you at all.”
“Wh-what happens now?” she asked weakly.
“We’ll sort that out,” Turin sighed. “Don’t you worry.” Turin sat up as a tiny figure draped in a long blanket waddled through the doorframe.
“Hey Ku,” Imdi squeaked.
“Hey dingus,” Ki-yu sniffled, making the little boy smile meekly.
“How’re you feeling?” he asked.
“Better,” she said, stretching out as she kept her eyes on the little gojid. “How about you?”
“Okay,” he mumbled, looking at her abashedly. “I, uh, just wanted to say i-it’s okay if you feel scared. I f-feel scared too, but…” He fidgeted with his claws. My brave little man. Ki-yu made a tired keen.
“Wanna stay here tonight?” she asked. He nodded fervently. Ki-yu smiled, spreading out the bedsheets. Imdi wriggled in beside her, the girl wrapping her long arms around him as she brushed down his spines.
“How about a song?” Ki-yu said with a wry smile. Turin sighed out a tired laugh.
“What do you think, Imdi?” she asked.
“All-mother’s prayer?” he replied. Turin always liked that one. It made her smile.
“Okay,” she said. “Just the one. Close your eyes.” The children settled in snugly, Turin singing as sweetly as she could.
“Kay-ut, All-mother, hear my prayer.
Hush, keep it quiet, simple, and fair.
Ki-ra hold your notes, Ki-yu stop your games.
And listen to children in their bedding frames.
A prayer for mummy, I know that’s right.
We played in the tunnels by candlelight.
The soft was clay, and the hard was rock.
Oh, All-mother save daddy, I almost forgot!
A wish for my sister whom I know the best.
I tell her I love her, and she gets the rest.
One more for brother, he lay next to me.
I’ve never adored another like he.
Oh, thank you Kay-ut for a lovely day.
For lighting your pyre to show me the way.
I’m forgetting someone, now who could that be?
Oh, of course! How silly! All-mother bless me.”
Her children were fast asleep as she finished the melody. Their peaceful stillness caused an ache in her heart.
“Goodnight sweethearts,” she whispered as she kissed their foreheads. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She rose and shut the door as quietly as she could.
Her beloved was sitting in bed with a wan expression. The paramedics had given both Braq and Yotun a once over and thoroughly chastised the man for staying on his feet. Her husband had denied being taken to hospital immediately, so had been ordered to remain bedridden until he would be collected in the morning.
“Can’t you sleep?” Turin said softly, Braq shaking his head stiffly. “No,” she said breathily. “I don’t think I can either. Th-the kids seem a little better. They help each other, I guess.”
“It’s Yotun I’d worry about,” Braq said numbly. “The lad… he’s been through a lot.” He drew in a deep breath. “And Teraka, thinking about it. No telling what he’ll do now. Goddess… that poor girl…” Turin scrubbed her paws in the basin, then threw some water on her face.
“What do you suppose he meant? ‘There’s more at stake than this little shack?’” Braq just shrugged absently. “I’ve been thinking, mutilating the roht was the right decision, but we also need to go over the house again.” She started pacing. “We should be as truthful as we can, go public with everything except Ki-yu. We knew there was something in the woods but couldn’t be sure. We also knew that Juran and Teraka had been killing our animals, we got some photos of their kills. We can use all that to make a case, bring it to the inquest.”
“Turin.” Braq mumbled.
“We’ll have to hide her as soon as possible, somewhere more remote,” she continued. “Deeper into the woods perhaps? Or find a den far across the valleys. But she can’t be too far removed so that we can keep an eye on her. She needs to be fed, so we’ll have to go stash her something…”
“Turin.”
“I think we should assume from now on that all our actions are being monitored, so that way-”
“Beloved…” Braq’s rough paw caught her wrist. He looked up at her earnestly. “It’s okay… you can stop now.”
“I…” The water flows in around her. “Every moment counts, we’ve got-“
“Tomorrow,” he said. “We’ll start early. But… please… you need to stop.” Turin shook her head.
“N-no, I- if I stop-!” Braq’s eyes grew teary, and she felt her fear ball in her chest. She hugged his head close where she stood, her lover's tears wetting her navel. “I-I-” Braq lovingly pulled her down into a tight hug. She felt castaway; her boat beached on some forgotten shore.
“Oh stars, Braq…” she whispered, exhausted as the surf crashed about her mind. “I’m s-so scared…”
“It’ll be okay,” he said. “It’ll be okay.”
Together, on that little island, they sobbed themselves to sleep.
---
“Men at some times are makers of their fates:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
– Cassius, in Julius Caesar, Act I Scene 2. Written by W. Shakespeare, 1599.
[Cover] - René Magritte
Links in comment.
submitted by browneorum to HFY [link] [comments]
Date [standardised human time]: May 5th, 2120
(16 years, 4 months before the invasion of the gojid Cradle).
Turin was pacing rapidly. She had checked, unpacked, and re-checked their first aid supplies. She had cleared the house of clutter and gone over their contingencies. But all the busy work had been done, and now Turin had to face it. This was it; this was the trap that Juran had set.
Braq’s voice had been curt and desperate on the radio having signaled her from Ki-yu’s den. A pair of children had been spotted on the mountain pass cameras, right where the roht tracks had been found. He had warned her to keep back, be ready to call assistance. It made sense, and without a second buggy she would not reach them for hours on foot anyway. But that left her and Imdi to sit and wait. Turin could not allow her fear to rule her, it would only distress her son.
Turin made two shaky cups of tea, trying to distract them with his homework. It was a simple short essay, but the lad struggled with his letters at the best of times. Just sitting beside him, she reflected on how much Imdi had grown. He was still a little boy, helpless in his own way, but clearly a person besides. What a strange symbiosis parenthood is; we need our children as much as they need us. Her mind wandered to the two youths on the trail camera. It could only have been Yotun and Callio, they were the closest, and the most likely to go wandering.
Juran’s played us, she realised. Either we call for help and acknowledge that there are dangerous predators here, or we feign ignorance and become complicit. Either way…
“Why…?” she whispered absentmindedly.
“Why what, Mama?” Imdi asked beside her. She shook her head, giving him a casual pat.
“Sorry sweetheart, I got distracted.” If we call for help we damn ourselves, if we don’t we damn ourselves again. We can hide Ki-yu, but we can’t hide this…
Turin snatched up the radio when it burst into static. It was something of a relief, even if it was short-lived. The mountainous terrain interfered with the signal, but Braq’s broken voice told her enough. The girl is dead, all others injured. She stood there with the silent handheld pressed to her ear. She heard the ocean roar about her mind, crashing white water above a darkened abyss. Braq and Ki-yu are still alive. She took the thought and lit it as a lamp to light her cabin.
"No,” she whispered. He can play his game, but I won't.
Turin called the ambulance right away. It would be at least two hours before a first responder reached them from the city. At the very least that gave them plenty of time to hide their daughter away. She was shaking as she made the last of three calls, the ringing signal grating against her quills.
“What’s happening Mama?” Imdi asked, still sitting at the table. With a heavy breath, she sat beside him once more. He looked at her quizzically as she pulled him away from his homework.
“It, uh, it seems that Callio and Yotun wandered onto the property. They’ve been hurt.”
“Hurt?” he squeaked. “Hurt bad?” She nodded, trying to keep her expression calm rather than crestfallen.
“Oh, sweetheart… I’m so sorry…”
~*~
They heard the buggy coming before they saw it, the roar of its engine waking Turin from the windowsill with a start. Imdi awoke in her lap as she moved to her feet, rubbing his raw eyes groggily. A quick glance at the clock told her it had been about an hour. She updated the silent countdown in her head, a sliver of worry that she had called for help too soon.
“Oh,” Imdi whimpered, looking up at her with a tear-dried face.
“Shh…” she coddled him. “Don’t worry.”
The buggy came screeching to a halt outside, and Turin took a breath to steady herself. We just have to keep moving, crest one wave and then the next.
Braq’s silhouette was already exiting the vehicle as she charged out the front door and toward the buggy. The afternoon sun had crashed into a meagre pale sundown, the lightest of yellows across the western sky.
“Braq!” she called out, blinded by the vehicle’s headlights. She almost stopped before she reached them, the smell of blood was frightfully strong. “Wha-?!”
“Keep him back!” Braq barked, cutting off the engine and the lights before he leaned into the backseat. Turin set down their son with a quick kiss. She hurried forward as Braq pulled back. Their daughter hung limply in his arms. A strip of pale fabric had been tied tight about her tail, slowly staining scarlet.
“Oh, Protector…” Turin moaned, reaching for the girl. Her endarkened eyelids fluttered at her voice, lips drawing into a pained smile as she felt Turin’s paw on her face.
“Mama…” she mumbled.
“It’s okay,” Turin whispered, “you’re home now.” Yotun was sitting idly in the passenger seat, watching them intensely. The look on his tear-marked face was one Turin thought belonged on war veterans and cattle victims.
“Th-the girl?” she asked weakly.
“She’s on the backseat,” Braq said hoarsely, blocking her path as she tried to look around him. “D-don’t,” he groaned. “Just don’t.” Yotun slid out of his seat. Turin glanced over at her son who was fretting with his claws nearby. “Imdi go help Yotun inside.”
“O-okay,” he mumbled. His eyes went wide at the long gashes in the approaching boy’s forearm, but he just swallowed hard and took his other paw. “Is Ku going to be okay?” he asked worriedly.
“Ku…” Yotun wheezed, almost a laugh.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” she murmured, nodding to the lodge. “Go on.” She looked up at her partner's haggard face, silently asking the same.
“Broken tail,” he said, “cr-cracked ribs I’d suspect.”
“Internal damage? A haemorrhage?”
“N-no I don’t think so,” he panted, hobbling past her toward the house. The breath left her at the sight of her beloved’s back.
“Braq!” she gasped. A pair of long diagonal slashes had been cut from shoulder blade to pelvis, broken spines hanging loosely. Whilst the bleeding had stopped, the exposed tissue was shifting and raw beneath his torn hide. He was also limping, she saw, a fearful bitemark around his right ankle. Turin wanted to scream as she started after him.
“I’m okay,” he grunted, shifting all his weight onto his left leg as he walked. No, no you’re not! “Looks worse than it is. You called the parents?” he continued, ignoring their torment.
“Y-yeah,” she mumbled as they hurried through the threshold. Imdi had sat Yotun on the couch and was carefully setting out one of the first aid kits. The skinny boy looked up stiffly as they entered. “At least Laenar and Arrut. They’ll be here soon. Teraka didn’t answer.” Braq let out a shuddering sigh.
“W-we need to get her sorted before they arrive,” he said. With a short yip of pain, Ki-yu reached out for the couch. Her dark paw gripped Yotun’s shoulder stopping them from passing, the boy wide-eyed and slack-jawed at the contact. Ki-yu’s voice was slurred and lethargic, each breath heavy and deliberate.
“Pretty… drawings…” she wheezed. “Remember… burn… the forest…” Yotun bristled. Turin reached down and gently unhooked her claws, taking some comfort in their strength still despite her injuries.
“Hide her,” she told Braq. He shook his head.
“I n-need to get Callio from the buggy.”
“No, you look after Ki-yu,” she said firmly. “I’ll go get her.”
“N-no, it’s bad, I ca-”
“Braq, beloved. Look after her.” Braq looked quickly from Turin to the girl in his arms, before reluctantly nodding. Ki-yu was still mumbling as Braq walked with her down to her hidden bedding room.
“W-woods… stars…” Turin heard her say.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Braq whispered to her. “Try and rest.” Imdi tugged at Turin’s leg.
“Baba’s hurt…” her son mumbled.
“I know,” she said, rubbing his scalp. “He’s just got to look after Ki-yu for a little while. Okay?”
“O-okay…” He looked at her more insistently. “Mama, is Ku gonna be alright?”
“I…” He should not have to see any of this. The words caught in her throat, so she just nodded. “Why don’t you go help Baba, hm?”
“Okay…” he mumbled, doddering down the gloomy hall after them. Turin wished she could join them, to hold them all close and whisper sweet nothings.
If I stop now, I’ll drown.
Turin moved to where Imdi had studiously spread out the first aid kit and crouched down.
“Hey,” she said as softly as possible. “I need to take a look at that.”
Yotun flinched as she touched him, from fear or pain she knew not which. Turin pulled the arm straight as tenderly as she could. Yotun whimpered as she washed out the wound but otherwise said nothing. He just sat there, numb, quiet, and broken. The mother in her wailed. I can mend his arm at least. She bandaged it carefully, gave him some painkillers, and told him to try and rest.
Still, even that task was preferable to what Turin had to do next. She retrieved some white sheets from the laundry. They were not true funerary shrouds, specially thickened to prevent the dead’s quills from piercing the fabric, but they would do.
The pre-night gloom was setting in as Turin stepped outside again. The cool air carried a crying choir of forest creatures, making Turin feel like she was standing in a dream. She walked stiffly out to the buggy, stopping before she had the chance to look inside. The smell had only grown, but it was more than mere disgust; a bubble of terror encircled the vehicle. Crushing down the thundering panic before it built, Turin peered into the buggy. On one backseat was a small body, partially obscured by a bloodied poncho. Callio’s creamy fur peaked from beneath the fabric in places, tinged a dark blue. A tide of azure had flowed down into the seats, building a dried pattern in the footwell.
Turin turned away, stifling a keen. She remembered their first meeting, how that harrowing confrontation had become a cheerful moment of play by the seaside. She was so happy, Turin recalled. So bright. No more… Collecting herself, she retrieved the rifle, wedged haphazardly into the driver’s door, noting how the metalwork had buckled around the central chamber. She shrugged the strap over her shoulder and turned back to the body. I will not flinch, she told herself as she pulled back the covering. We owe her that much.
She did not balk, but it hurt her not to.
Callio lay on her side with closed eyes, curled up as if asleep. She was as at peace as she could be. Turin spread the sheet across the ground and moved to lay the girl to rest. She shuddered and stopped when shifting the torso made the head turn unnaturally, biting into the back of her own paw to stop herself from screaming. This could have been Braq… or Ki-yu… or even Imdi… Oh, Protector… With a shaky sigh, she laid her down on the sheet and, as respectfully as she could, Turin enwrapped the girl in white. The death of her aunt had been the first time Turin had seen loss, felt grief. To see that plump woman, full of raucous laughter, fond of gaiety and song, reduced to a body enwrapped and entombed…
Turin decided that she hated pale sheets as she carried Callio inside.
She laid the body on the table, then placed the broken weapon on the counter. Yotun still sat stiffly on the couch, as unmoving as a statue. Turin covered the first shawl with a thicker sheet, the form appearing less and less like a person. Looking down she saw blood had soaked onto her overalls, all over her paws. The clothing was ruined, but Turin would never want to wear it again anyway. She stripped and tossed her clothing into the bin. It felt as though the smell had sunk through her skin. She moved to the sink, trying to scrub the blood from herself, but the sponge just came away blue. She turned on the hot water until it was near scalding, trying to clean beneath her claws. It sloughed off her, falling into the inky depths. Turin made a quiet sob, shaking her head to try and will away her wet eyes.
“Mama?” Imdi squeaked behind her. Turin coughed, drying her hands.
“Yes, sweetheart?” she said, quickly wiping her tears. The boy was looking at the body with tearful eyes.
“Wh-what’s happening?” Falling to one knee, she pulled him to her breast.
“Something terrible, love.” She kissed his forehead, the smell of him like a prescient memory, cleansing the nauseating tones of death.
“Mama… I’m scared.”
“I know, it’ll be okay,” she whispered, swallowing to stop her voice from breaking.
“I d-don’t want to be scared,” he whispered. “I wanna be fearless, like you.” Turin let out a tearful chuckle. She leaned back against the cabinet, holding her son’s head gently in her paws.
“I’m not fearless,” she told him. His dark brown eyes were searching her own, the scar on his lip twitching. “Wanna know a secret? Everyone feels scared from time to time.”
“Even Ku?”
“Aheh… maybe a little.” She smiled as she flattened his spines. My handsome little man. “Listen. There’ll be many times in your life when you feel afraid.” She curled a knuckle on his breast. “Where you feel it ball up, right here, and you want to run away and hide. That fear will always be there. But you don’t have to run and hide. That fear can make you strong and brave if you let it push you. And the only way to do that is to try. So,” she rubbed his cheeks with the balls of her thumbs, ”will you be brave?” He snuffled, his tiny face pulling into a fretted smile.
“Okay,” he whispered. “I’ll try.” She brought her forehead to his.
“Good boy.” The soft fur of his face tickled her nose.
If I stop now I’ll drown.
“We’ll, uh, be having visitors soon,” she rasped, pulling back. “I… need to get ready… Why don’t you try and get ready for bed, hm?” The boy nodded a little reluctantly, disappearing down the hall once more.
Turin tried to distract herself by scrubbing through the security footage again, focusing her efforts on the hills around the attack. All trace of her needed to be cleared. But in the corner of her eye, she saw Imdi come toddling back. He sat on the couch beside the thinner boy.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
“Hey,” Yotun replied, his eyes foggy and distant.
“Your arm…” Imdi mumbled, glancing cagily at him. “Does it hurt?”
“Yeah.” Yotun sniffed. He looked at the table, as though seeing it for the first time. The white cloth was a shroud over too small a body. “Your… ‘sister’… an arxur?”
“My sister,” Imdi said dryly, his gaze also lingering on the dead girl. “The arxur.” He sniffed. Then he sniffled. Very quickly he was crying, the quiet sound breaking Yotun from his stupor. An instant later the older boy was sobbing too and, in a moment that broke Turin’s heart, he put his working arm around the younger boy. The two leaned on each other for strength and cried.
Turin did what she could. She lit the fire, gave them blankets, and made some more tea. When she brought it to them, she found they had fallen into an exhausted sleep.
Soon thereafter, Braq hobbled back into the room. Her beloved wore a weary, complex expression as he looked at the sleeping boys, but she could see him take note of, then close off the sight of the girl on the table.
“Passed out,” he reported, moving to her side. “She was in a lot of pain. I’ve, uh, put some ice on her ribs, best we can do is to keep her still for a bit.”
“Oh, she’ll hate that,” Turin mumbled. She nodded to the boys. “This one should be okay, at least in the arm.”
“He, uh… was brave.” Braq conferred quietly. “I think he tried to lure it away from… from her, but…” He shook his head. “Stupid boy… What about the cameras?”
“Just going over the more recent stuff,” Turin said. Braq groaned deeply, then hissed at the twisting broken skin of his back as he leaned forward. Turin stood and pulled him toward the better-lit kitchen.
“Come here, let me sort you out.” Grumbling, her partner begrudgingly followed her.
His ankle had started to swell, the skin a deep purple. They applied some ice to bring down the swelling, but it would need to be thoroughly washed as well. Making him swallow some painkillers, she laid him face down on the countertop to clean his back.
“What happened?” she asked as she brought some hot water and cloth.
“She’d caught scent of it, found a path it was using regularly. We set up the bait, had headed back to her den to check the cameras.” He hissed as she layered on the first cloth. “That’s when we saw them. They were heading –ah!– right for it. I-I drove as fast as I could but…” His paws shook with anxious energy. “I told her to stay back, stay hidden but she didn’t listen. Heh,” he snorted sardonically. “Good thing too.” He looked her dead in the eye over his shoulder. “She killed it. Damn near ripped its head off.” Turin focused hard on the cleaning, trying not to mull over the implications. The disinfectant stung more than the water, Braq’s back taught from stress, fatigue, and pain. Turin kept talking to distract him.
“If, um, someone finds it, they’ll see her teeth marks…”
“I hid that,” he said. “Gun nearly blew apart, but I shot it point blank. Should look like I got it.” Yes… that could work… She took the opportunity to wash the wound in his ankle, the mucky, bloodied fluid staining the floor.
“I’ll have to clean that up,” Braq groaned, his face pressing into the countertop. Turin chuckled, tossing down a towel.
“You better,” she said glibly. Now cleaned, she could see the clear paired punctures where the roht’s canines had dug in, one tooth piercing to the bone. She wrapped it up tightly.
“Lover… the paramedics will have to have a look at this.”
“Figured,” he grumbled. Now clean, she sutured shut the broken hide of her beloved’s broad back. It would scar, and he may even lose quills, but it would heal. Braq got up almost before the last suture went in.
“You should sit and rest,” she told him, grabbing his wrist.
“So should you,” he said without spite. His paw came up beneath her chin, and she saw in his eyes the same wailing despair she felt. If I stop now I’ll drown. Braq made to hug her, but she stopped him with a palm on his chest.
“Please don’t…” she pleaded. She needed to stay strong for now. He took her paw and rubbed it absently but nodded. With a shaky sniff, he gestured to the sleeping boys.
“One of us needs to talk to him,” he said. “Which one do you want?”
“I-I’ll do it. Go keep an eye on the kids.” She squeezed his paw and kissed it. “We’ll be okay.”
“I know.” he said, leaving her leaning against the counter. He at least seemed to believe it. Braq leaned over the couch and lifted his son as carefully as he could, wincing at the pain in his foot. He nestled him in the crook of his massive arms, and walked down to his room.
With a heavy sigh, Turin sat down on the couch beside Yotun, still curled up in sleep.
“Yotun?” She tapped his knee. He stirred quickly with a frantic, panicked breath, crawling across the cushions. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Y-you didn’t,” he mumbled, drawing the blanket about him.
“Is your arm still hurting?” The boy nodded weakly, not meeting her eyes.
“Here,” she gave him his lukewarm cup of tea, noticing how his paws twitched and shuddered. Turin wished she could give him some time to recover, to reconcile, but they only had minutes now at best.
“I’m… so very sorry, sweetie,” she said softly, “but we need to talk before your parents get here.” Yotun swallowed hard.
“What’d y-you tell them?”
“That you’ve been hurt, and that a predator did it.” Turin sighed. “But we’re not talking about that, are we? We’re talking about Ki-yu.” Yotun looked at her like she had grown antlers, but the expression passed quickly.
“I k-kinda guessed,” he whispered. “But it didn’t make sense. You’ve been keeping her here? This whole time?”
“Yes,” she said. “I wish you could get the chance to know her properly.”
“She… left me…” he mumbled. “Alone… in the dark…”
“Yes. And afterward she turned up here in the middle of the night, a shivering, broken wreck. I’ve never seen her cry so much.” The boy looked up at her mistily.
“She… cried?” He shook his head morosely. “It doesn’t matter. It’s all over now…”
“Is it?” Turin asked, willing fire into her voice. “She certainly doesn’t seem to think so. ‘Burn the forest?’” He flinched. “She knows the risks of her discovery, far better than anyone. She knows that if it comes to it…” Turin stopped before she broke down. “And yet, she risked it all for you. In a heartbeat. She put her trust in you, Yotun.”
“Sh-she sh-shouldn’t have… I-I’m just a st-stupid kid!”
“I-” The alarm wailed for a split-second before Turin turned reached over and turned it all off, hiding their security system.
“Wh-what was that?”
“Proximity alert. Someone’s coming.”
“My parents?”
“Most likely.” Yotun drew himself down. This isn’t working…
Braq came limping up the hall.
“She’s still asleep, secure,” he said.
“Okay,” Turin breathed. “Then sit down, for Kay-ut’s sake, before you make that worse.” He settled into the windowsill seat. Turin placed a paw on Yotun’s uninjured arm.
“They’ll kill her,” she said firmly. “If you mention her at all, to anyone, they’ll kill her.”
“M-my p-parents wouldn’t-”
“Yes,” Turin said with a sad smile, knowing as all parents do. “They absolutely would.”
”They’d tell someone else at the very least,” Braq sighed. “And then they’d come for us all.”
“A-and they’d burn it all down to find her,” the boy shuddered.
The hovercar’s thwopping was now audible.
“We shouldn’t have to ask this of you, lad.” Braq said. “You’ve suffered too much already. But I think you know we’d both be dead right now without her.” Turin’s stomach rolled. Yotun looked fearfully between the two of them.
“Y-you’re asking me to lie?!”
“From what she’s told us, you’re the closest thing Ki-yu’s ever had to a real friend.” Turin implored him. “We’re asking you to save her.” Braq looked out of the window as she said it.
“They’re here.”
A door slammed outside. If I stop now I’ll drown. Turin gave his arm one last squeeze.
“Our lives are in your paws, Yotun.”
Please, please, please save her…
“Yotun!” Laenar cried out desperately, the front door thrown open as they charged in. Turin backed off as quickly as she could, knowing better than to come between them now.
“Oh, my boy!” The mother fell to her knees beside him. “Thank The Protector! Oh, your arm! Gods!” Stopping in the middle of the room, Arrut drew a quick sharp breath, his eyes on the table.
“Mercy…” he said simply, the light from the fireplace casting long shadows across the room. Laenar made a muted gasp, pulling Yotun tight against her. “The girl…?”
“Callio.” Braq said quietly. It was almost a whimper. There was a long silence, the only sound Laenar’s muted breathing.
“Wh-where’s the ambulance?” Arrut asked weakly. “Why didn’t you call an ambulance?”
“Too late,” Braq murmured mournfully. “It… it all happened too fast.”
“There’s one coming now,” Turin said, rubbing her forehead. “To… collect the body.”
“That’s not an ambulance,” Laenar said weakly. Arrut pulled his eyes away from the table, falling heavily into the chair beside Braq.
“My… stars man,” he murmured. “The state of your back…”
“Think of your son, you idiot!” Laenar gasped. Arrut shot her an incredulous look back.
“The wounds clean. H-he should be alright physically-” Turin started.
“Alright?! He’s been mauled!” She pulled her son’s face up to her. “What h-happened? Why were you out there?” His expression crumpled.
“We wanted to see the woods,” he said quietly.
“Wha- Why…?” The pudgy woman suddenly glared at Turin. “You did this! You perverted pair of-!”
“Laenar!” Arrut yelled. “That’s enough!”
“No, I’m sick of these people! Sick of this place! Why don’t you just-!”
“Shut up, Mother, shut up!” Yotun started yelling. “I did this, this’s my fault!” He winced as he jerked his slashed arm at them. “Braq saved me!”
”You’ve been through a lot, you don’t-!”
“M-my fau-lt! My-!” His words became incoherent, a violent sorrowful wailing. Laenar relented, looking as broken as her son. The boy was inconsolable, unable to speak, so Braq recounted what had happened. The parents listened intently, not saying a word. He told them how they had suspected something was not right in the Brackwood, carefully leaving out the signs of roht they had kept to themselves. He told them that he had found a dead vyrryn and tracks in the snow and had been watching the cameras when he had spotted the children. Braq’s voice broke when he explained how he had not got there in time. As his voice trailed off Turin knew that he was replaying those dreadful moments over and over again in his head.
Arrut stood, rubbing his mouth.
“Why didn’t you call the authorities?” he asked. “If you suspected there was this roht creature about, why didn’t you call for help?” Turin and Braq shared a glance.
“Because it doesn’t make sense,” she said. “Roht were never found here. They’re practically extinct.”
“So, what?” Laenar grunted. “You based your safety, all our safety, on your intuition?”
“No,” Braq said. “We’ve found… plasma wounds on animals, many fatal. Someone else has been in our woods.” He rubbed his face with both paws. “We don’t know who to trust.”
“And you think, what they’re trying to scare you off?” She scoffed. “I find that hard to believe.”
“Believe what you want,” Turin snapped. “We’ve got the photos to prove that someone’s been shooting our animals.”
“But… who would go wandering out here?” Arrut asked. “Most people are terrified of this place.”
Before anyone could answer, the sound of another arriving vehicle drew their attention, Braq glancing out the window. He leaned forward.
“Well… you were right,” he said. “It’s not an ambulance.” A quiet stillness came over them as the engine died; the gravel outside crunched beneath approaching steps. Moonlight filtered through the front window; the shadow of an impossibly tall man descended across their home. The phantom coalesced by the threshold, the figure looming for a moment. Then he straightened and knocked. Nobody moved. He knocked again, the noise rattling about Turin’s skull. She looked over at Braq and saw ire and worry warring in his eyes. A third knock, more insistent. Fuck…
Turin walked over and opened the door.
“Good evening Turin,” Juran said, giving her the slightest bow. His pale eyes hovered like pinpricks in the night.
“Juran. What’re you… doing… here…” Her voice left her as she saw who stood behind him. Juran strode past her as she struggled to form a thought.
“We were forwarded a rather desperate-sounding emergency call. Needless to say, we came as soon as we could.” There was a crashing, thundering sound in Turin’s ears. The other just stood there, looking at her expectantly. “Oh dear, nasty business this,” Juran was saying, stepping closer to the body. He clicked his tongue, as though examining shoddy craftmanship. “Very nasty business.” Juran looked quickly around the room, his eyes devouring all they saw. “And two survivors?” He clapped his paws together. “We were worried.”
“We?” Braq asked hoarsely.
“Oh, yes, I was meeting with an old friend.”
He strode in with the same confidence as the extermination officer.
“Teraka…” Arrut gasped. Juran stopped. Everyone stopped. They all just looked at him. Teraka looked nonplussed for a moment, but then he noticed the other parents’ gaze. His eyes passed over them questioningly.
“T-Teraka,” Turin gulped. “I couldn’t reach you… you didn’t…” The man looked at the body, then at Yotun. The lad was shaking, sobbing again in his mother’s arms.
“What is this?” Teraka hissed, his suave exterior melting away. Juran’s pale eyes narrowed, his head moving in a steady glacial turn to Turin. For the first time, she felt like she was actually looking at him. A long time ago, she would have called his expression predatory; now she would simply call it cruel.
“No…” Teraka gasped, pushing Juran aside as he staggered forward. He moved around the table like he feared it would cut him. Tenderly, he pulled back the sheets. It was… disturbing, how little the man reacted. He stilled, all that constant movement, those ceaseless platitudes quieted. He just stood there and looked.
“I suppose we’ve found what killed that brynn foal,” Juran said thinly. The chair squealed as Braq stood, her husband’s face contorting from the pain in his leg. Juran might have been taller, but Braq was undoubtedly the bigger man.
“Really?” he said, looking up at him. “’Cause I’d say that roht was only two or three years old. It would have been an infant when that brynn was killed.”
“Ah, quite right you are,” Juran said with a flash of teeth. “There must have been others.” Her beloved’s fists were held so tight the claws bit into his palms. “Well, regardless this will have to be thoroughly investigated. And of-” Juran was interrupted as Teraka strode over and struck him across the face. The tall man toppled into the bookshelf, clutching at his snout as their small library came tumbling down around him.
“Bastard!” Teraka snarled, his claws digging into Juran’s throat. A shout went out, Turin knew not from who, as the two men struggled. Laenar was gasping noisily trying to shield her son; Arrut and Braq trying to pull the raging father back but finding Teraka’s quills before them. Juran’s paws sinched tight around the smaller man’s wrists, and with a ferocious roar, he stood as quickly as he could, headbutting Teraka under the chin. Teraka staggered backward into the table, the legs screaming murder against the woodwork, Turin only barely stopping Callio’s body from sliding from it. The others were yelling at them, but the two men did not care as they traded blows like trained fighters. They fought viciously, reminding Turin of how Ki-yu hunted; no movement was wasted, no moment savoured. Teraka ducked under a wide backhand, jabbing with his claws for Juran’s chest. Juran blocked with his offhand, using his greater reach to keep Teraka at bay. He threw a brutal left hook that Teraka countered, then trapped. Growling in pain, Juran blocked Teraka’s follow-up, snatching a firm grip on the smaller man’s throat. His grip was so tight Turin saw his claws draw blood. Choking, Teraka kneed him in the groin, then palm struck him in the gullet. The two fell back wheezing, circling one another with quills out and eyes wide with rage.
“You’ve taken everything from me!” Teraka howled. Juran glared at him with his pale eyes, blood flowing down from his snout. “My job! My decency! My daughter!”
“You knew the cost!” he spat back. “It’s you who’ve betrayed my trust. I thought better of you…”
Surging in, Braq gripped Teraka’s left arm, trying to twist it around his back before the fight could resume. But the enraged father kicked the other man’s weakened leg out from under him, dropping him unceremoniously to the floor. With a bellowing cry, Arrut tackled Juran around the middle, the two crashing into the kitchen tiles. Teraka moved to make after them, but Braq took the opportunity to swipe out Teraka’s legs from the floor, evening the score. Growling like an animal, Braq pinned him on his back. Wrestling free of Arrut, Juran rose forward with murderous intent in his pale eyes. Fuck this! Turin snatched up the rifle where it still lay on the counter.
“Hey!” she snarled, the sound of her ratcheting the lever stalling the melee. The weapon had been damaged by the roht; Turin doubted it would fire at all, but the threat was sufficient. “I will not have any more blood spilled in my house!” Teraka struggled in Braq’s grapple.
“There is more at stake than this little shack!” the man hissed.
“Mind your words, Teraka,” Juran’s voice was as thin and sharp as a needle. “Or the cost will be far greater than one little girl.”
“Enough!” Turin roared. “Juran, we’ll cooperate with whatever investigation you deem necessary,” she barked, hiding the fearful lie behind the fire in her voice. “But for now, you’re leaving. I suggest you get that nose looked at.” There was a long and painful silence. The tall man regained his posture, wiping his nose.
“Thank you,” he said with a sickly-sweet smile. There was blood in his teeth. “My apologies for the disturbance, that was most unprofessional. I’ll be in touch.” With one last icy look at them all, he strode out into the night. Teraka struggled beneath Braq as his car shot up into the sky.
“Why’d you do that?!” he spat when he finally released him. “Why’d you do that, wh-why?!” And then he was crying, a pitiful, ruined wailing as he almost fell over the body of his little girl. They could not pull him away; he just kept crying. He was crying when Yotun left with his parents, and he was still crying when the ambulance finally arrived to take her away.
~*~
Ki-yu’s breathing had steadied, ice and a pillow across her chest seeming to help her sleep. Arxur were strong, and the bone had not shifted. The tail required more work —a splint and sutures— but the girl had slept through their treatment. With enough time, they were confident she would suffer no more than a new scar.
Turin's paw brushed across Ki-yu’s sheets, bloodied a fiery crimson. The mother swallowed a sob as she thought of Callio again. Ki-yu made a groaning sound, shifting slightly as her dark eyes flickered open. She peered up at Turin curiously, and for a second she almost seemed bemused. But then she felt her ribs, the ache making her whine.
“Hey,” Turin cooed, feeling the warmth of her scalp. “How do you feel?”
“Thirsty,” she rasped. Turin reached back for the cup of water she had brought.
“Here,” she whispered, bringing it to her scaly lips. “We’ll get you something to eat tomorrow.” Ki-yu gulped it down, then coughed slightly.
“I’ll be okay-”
“No, you’ll eat tomorrow,” Turin said, looking at her sharply. Ki-yu rattled a small huff but nodded.
“Wh-what happened?” she asked. “I thought I heard shouting…” Turin rubbed her paws on her knees.
“Teraka… I don’t think anyone would ever take that well…” Ki-yu scrunched up her face. A moment later recollection returned.
“Oh… I-” She started panting quickly, snorting out wet sobs. The girl dropped her head heavily onto her pillow, wet tears welling in her eyes. Snuffling, she started beating her snout against her bedding.
“Hey… sweetheart…” Turin purred, rubbing her shoulder. “Talk to me…” Ki-yu swallowed, a sound that was almost an Umph!
“I-I w-wasn’t f-fast enough, wa-sn’t good enough-!” The mother pushed her way onto the bed, laying her head on the damp pillow as she pulled her as tightly against her as she could.
“Shhh… You were superb.”
“B-but she-!” Ki-yu sniffled against her.
“You gave her a fighting chance, sweetie. You couldn’t have done any more.” Ki-yu was silent for a short moment, snuggling against her fuzzy chest. Turin hoped it gave the girl the same comfort as her.
“Yotun?”
“He’s gone home with his parents. So far, he hasn’t told them about you at all.”
“Wh-what happens now?” she asked weakly.
“We’ll sort that out,” Turin sighed. “Don’t you worry.” Turin sat up as a tiny figure draped in a long blanket waddled through the doorframe.
“Hey Ku,” Imdi squeaked.
“Hey dingus,” Ki-yu sniffled, making the little boy smile meekly.
“How’re you feeling?” he asked.
“Better,” she said, stretching out as she kept her eyes on the little gojid. “How about you?”
“Okay,” he mumbled, looking at her abashedly. “I, uh, just wanted to say i-it’s okay if you feel scared. I f-feel scared too, but…” He fidgeted with his claws. My brave little man. Ki-yu made a tired keen.
“Wanna stay here tonight?” she asked. He nodded fervently. Ki-yu smiled, spreading out the bedsheets. Imdi wriggled in beside her, the girl wrapping her long arms around him as she brushed down his spines.
“How about a song?” Ki-yu said with a wry smile. Turin sighed out a tired laugh.
“What do you think, Imdi?” she asked.
“All-mother’s prayer?” he replied. Turin always liked that one. It made her smile.
“Okay,” she said. “Just the one. Close your eyes.” The children settled in snugly, Turin singing as sweetly as she could.
“Kay-ut, All-mother, hear my prayer.
Hush, keep it quiet, simple, and fair.
Ki-ra hold your notes, Ki-yu stop your games.
And listen to children in their bedding frames.
A prayer for mummy, I know that’s right.
We played in the tunnels by candlelight.
The soft was clay, and the hard was rock.
Oh, All-mother save daddy, I almost forgot!
A wish for my sister whom I know the best.
I tell her I love her, and she gets the rest.
One more for brother, he lay next to me.
I’ve never adored another like he.
Oh, thank you Kay-ut for a lovely day.
For lighting your pyre to show me the way.
I’m forgetting someone, now who could that be?
Oh, of course! How silly! All-mother bless me.”
Her children were fast asleep as she finished the melody. Their peaceful stillness caused an ache in her heart.
“Goodnight sweethearts,” she whispered as she kissed their foreheads. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She rose and shut the door as quietly as she could.
Her beloved was sitting in bed with a wan expression. The paramedics had given both Braq and Yotun a once over and thoroughly chastised the man for staying on his feet. Her husband had denied being taken to hospital immediately, so had been ordered to remain bedridden until he would be collected in the morning.
“Can’t you sleep?” Turin said softly, Braq shaking his head stiffly. “No,” she said breathily. “I don’t think I can either. Th-the kids seem a little better. They help each other, I guess.”
“It’s Yotun I’d worry about,” Braq said numbly. “The lad… he’s been through a lot.” He drew in a deep breath. “And Teraka, thinking about it. No telling what he’ll do now. Goddess… that poor girl…” Turin scrubbed her paws in the basin, then threw some water on her face.
“What do you suppose he meant? ‘There’s more at stake than this little shack?’” Braq just shrugged absently. “I’ve been thinking, mutilating the roht was the right decision, but we also need to go over the house again.” She started pacing. “We should be as truthful as we can, go public with everything except Ki-yu. We knew there was something in the woods but couldn’t be sure. We also knew that Juran and Teraka had been killing our animals, we got some photos of their kills. We can use all that to make a case, bring it to the inquest.”
“Turin.” Braq mumbled.
“We’ll have to hide her as soon as possible, somewhere more remote,” she continued. “Deeper into the woods perhaps? Or find a den far across the valleys. But she can’t be too far removed so that we can keep an eye on her. She needs to be fed, so we’ll have to go stash her something…”
“Turin.”
“I think we should assume from now on that all our actions are being monitored, so that way-”
“Beloved…” Braq’s rough paw caught her wrist. He looked up at her earnestly. “It’s okay… you can stop now.”
“I…” The water flows in around her. “Every moment counts, we’ve got-“
“Tomorrow,” he said. “We’ll start early. But… please… you need to stop.” Turin shook her head.
“N-no, I- if I stop-!” Braq’s eyes grew teary, and she felt her fear ball in her chest. She hugged his head close where she stood, her lover's tears wetting her navel. “I-I-” Braq lovingly pulled her down into a tight hug. She felt castaway; her boat beached on some forgotten shore.
“Oh stars, Braq…” she whispered, exhausted as the surf crashed about her mind. “I’m s-so scared…”
“It’ll be okay,” he said. “It’ll be okay.”
Together, on that little island, they sobbed themselves to sleep.
---
“Men at some times are makers of their fates:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.”
– Cassius, in Julius Caesar, Act I Scene 2. Written by W. Shakespeare, 1599.
[Cover] - René Magritte
Links in comment.
2023.04.02 14:01 tempthrowaway2222222 Lump sum to be received, advice needed
Hello, would appreciate advice please.
I (34M) am going to receive £250k and looking to understand the best way to utilize it to realize goals of early retirement. This £250k has the possibility to be subject to potential IHT.
Here's breakdown of my current situation:
- salary is 75k + 13% bonus
- contributing 6% to pension with employer contributing 12%. I can contribute more but employers cap is 12%.
- currently not salary sacrificing anything beyond / do not have a SIPP
- not a home owner (i am fortunate to live in an apartment owned by my parents; we are discussing legally having me added to the property deeds)
- living in outskirts of London
- most of the savings from my salary are used to fund an S&S ISA. I'm now able to max out and invest the full 20k a year.
Current breakdown of NW:
S&S ISA (38%); premium bonds (14%); cash (2%); precious metal (2%); pension (44%)
My last debt was cleared earlier last month.
Here's some ideas I've had:
Option 1) Start salary sacrificing and bringing my salary below the 40% tax threshold and instead drip feed 20k for the next 12 years from the £250k into my S&S ISA instead. With the remaining lump sum, put it into an interest savings account (granted I'll have to pay tax on any of this interest).
Option 2) i mentioned we are discussing having me legally added to the apartment deeds i currently live in. I'm wondering if we should do this, or i should buy my first property and put it to rent?
Thing is when I do run the numbers of rental income it never looks worthwhile considering tax / admin fees, and then on top of that you could have issues with the property/tenants as well. I've been told new builds could be worth considering to avoid property issues but i'm still uncertain and honestly don't like the idea of extra hassle. Would it make sense from a diversification perspective and instead of focussing on rental income just thinking about the future property price appreciation if i were to buy in a major city outside of London for example?
I also hear that the rental market is no longer worth it, but if i were to look at purchasing a property to rent out instead of living in, then i'd consider buying outside of London.
Option 3) Honestly speaking, i would love to own a house long term but in the area i live in it would be unaffordable for me even with the lump sum and my salary unless i find a "do-er upper" but then that would require additional funds to renovate and for that you're looking at £550k minimum. Not interested in moving away from the area i live in unless i was to move country.
In case of option 2 or 3, f i do purchase a property, does it make sense to use the full £250k towards a deposit or is that silly?
In addition, personally, always thought it's better to be in a position of more liquid assets than non-liquid. I understand that investing in the stock market isn't necessary non-liquid depending on state of the markets at time of withdrawal, but i do think they are more liquid compared to property.
I don't like the idea of locking money into a pension vehicle either due to the age access restrictions, but the tax benefits are clearly worth it. Also dumb question: Can my workplace pension be accessed at the same age as a SIPP if i chose to open one? (i.e. any reason i shouldn't salary sacrifice more into my employers pension, instead of a SIPP)?
So, what's the best way i can utilize this lump sum? Is option 1 better than option 2 / 3? Are there other options I should be considering? Am I missing anything obvious?
Thank you for reading my essay.
submitted by tempthrowaway2222222 to FIREUK [link] [comments]
I (34M) am going to receive £250k and looking to understand the best way to utilize it to realize goals of early retirement. This £250k has the possibility to be subject to potential IHT.
Here's breakdown of my current situation:
- salary is 75k + 13% bonus
- contributing 6% to pension with employer contributing 12%. I can contribute more but employers cap is 12%.
- currently not salary sacrificing anything beyond / do not have a SIPP
- not a home owner (i am fortunate to live in an apartment owned by my parents; we are discussing legally having me added to the property deeds)
- living in outskirts of London
- most of the savings from my salary are used to fund an S&S ISA. I'm now able to max out and invest the full 20k a year.
Current breakdown of NW:
S&S ISA (38%); premium bonds (14%); cash (2%); precious metal (2%); pension (44%)
My last debt was cleared earlier last month.
Here's some ideas I've had:
Option 1) Start salary sacrificing and bringing my salary below the 40% tax threshold and instead drip feed 20k for the next 12 years from the £250k into my S&S ISA instead. With the remaining lump sum, put it into an interest savings account (granted I'll have to pay tax on any of this interest).
Option 2) i mentioned we are discussing having me legally added to the apartment deeds i currently live in. I'm wondering if we should do this, or i should buy my first property and put it to rent?
Thing is when I do run the numbers of rental income it never looks worthwhile considering tax / admin fees, and then on top of that you could have issues with the property/tenants as well. I've been told new builds could be worth considering to avoid property issues but i'm still uncertain and honestly don't like the idea of extra hassle. Would it make sense from a diversification perspective and instead of focussing on rental income just thinking about the future property price appreciation if i were to buy in a major city outside of London for example?
I also hear that the rental market is no longer worth it, but if i were to look at purchasing a property to rent out instead of living in, then i'd consider buying outside of London.
Option 3) Honestly speaking, i would love to own a house long term but in the area i live in it would be unaffordable for me even with the lump sum and my salary unless i find a "do-er upper" but then that would require additional funds to renovate and for that you're looking at £550k minimum. Not interested in moving away from the area i live in unless i was to move country.
In case of option 2 or 3, f i do purchase a property, does it make sense to use the full £250k towards a deposit or is that silly?
In addition, personally, always thought it's better to be in a position of more liquid assets than non-liquid. I understand that investing in the stock market isn't necessary non-liquid depending on state of the markets at time of withdrawal, but i do think they are more liquid compared to property.
I don't like the idea of locking money into a pension vehicle either due to the age access restrictions, but the tax benefits are clearly worth it. Also dumb question: Can my workplace pension be accessed at the same age as a SIPP if i chose to open one? (i.e. any reason i shouldn't salary sacrifice more into my employers pension, instead of a SIPP)?
So, what's the best way i can utilize this lump sum? Is option 1 better than option 2 / 3? Are there other options I should be considering? Am I missing anything obvious?
Thank you for reading my essay.
2023.04.02 14:00 tempthrowaway2222222 Lump sum to be received, advice needed
Hello, would appreciate advice please.
I (34M) am going to receive £250k and looking to understand the best way to utilize it to realize goals of early retirement. This £250k has the possibility to be subject to potential IHT.
Here's breakdown of my current situation:
- salary is 75k + 13% bonus
- contributing 6% to pension with employer contributing 12%. I can contribute more but employers cap is 12%.
- currently not salary sacrificing anything beyond / do not have a SIPP
- not a home owner (i am fortunate to live in an apartment owned by my parents; we are discussing legally having me added to the property deeds)
- living in outskirts of London
- most of the savings from my salary are used to fund an S&S ISA. I'm now able to max out and invest the full 20k a year.
Current breakdown of NW:
S&S ISA (38%); premium bonds (14%); cash (2%); precious metal (2%); pension (44%)
My last debt was cleared earlier last month.
Here's some ideas I've had:
Option 1) Start salary sacrificing and bringing my salary below the 40% tax threshold and instead drip feed 20k for the next 12 years from the £250k into my S&S ISA instead. With the remaining lump sum, put it into an interest savings account (granted I'll have to pay tax on any of this interest).
Option 2) i mentioned we are discussing having me legally added to the apartment deeds i currently live in. I'm wondering if we should do this, or i should buy my first property and put it to rent?
Thing is when I do run the numbers of rental income it never looks worthwhile considering tax / admin fees, and then on top of that you could have issues with the property/tenants as well. I've been told new builds could be worth considering to avoid property issues but i'm still uncertain and honestly don't like the idea of extra hassle. Would it make sense from a diversification perspective and instead of focussing on rental income just thinking about the future property price appreciation if i were to buy in a major city outside of London for example?
I also hear that the rental market is no longer worth it, but if i were to look at purchasing a property to rent out instead of living in, then i'd consider buying outside of London.
Option 3) Honestly speaking, i would love to own a house long term but in the area i live in it would be unaffordable for me even with the lump sum and my salary unless i find a "do-er upper" but then that would require additional funds to renovate and for that you're looking at £550k minimum. Not interested in moving away from the area i live in unless i was to move country.
In case of option 2 or 3, f i do purchase a property, does it make sense to use the full £250k towards a deposit or is that silly?
In addition, personally, always thought it's better to be in a position of more liquid assets than non-liquid. I understand that investing in the stock market isn't necessary non-liquid depending on state of the markets at time of withdrawal, but i do think they are more liquid compared to property.
I don't like the idea of locking money into a pension vehicle either due to the age access restrictions, but the tax benefits are clearly worth it. Also dumb question: Can my workplace pension be accessed at the same age as a SIPP if i chose to open one? (i.e. any reason i shouldn't salary sacrifice more into my employers pension, instead of a SIPP)?
So, what's the best way i can utilize this lump sum? Is option 1 better than option 2 / 3? Are there other options I should be considering? Am I missing anything obvious?
Thank you for reading my essay.
submitted by tempthrowaway2222222 to UKPersonalFinance [link] [comments]
I (34M) am going to receive £250k and looking to understand the best way to utilize it to realize goals of early retirement. This £250k has the possibility to be subject to potential IHT.
Here's breakdown of my current situation:
- salary is 75k + 13% bonus
- contributing 6% to pension with employer contributing 12%. I can contribute more but employers cap is 12%.
- currently not salary sacrificing anything beyond / do not have a SIPP
- not a home owner (i am fortunate to live in an apartment owned by my parents; we are discussing legally having me added to the property deeds)
- living in outskirts of London
- most of the savings from my salary are used to fund an S&S ISA. I'm now able to max out and invest the full 20k a year.
Current breakdown of NW:
S&S ISA (38%); premium bonds (14%); cash (2%); precious metal (2%); pension (44%)
My last debt was cleared earlier last month.
Here's some ideas I've had:
Option 1) Start salary sacrificing and bringing my salary below the 40% tax threshold and instead drip feed 20k for the next 12 years from the £250k into my S&S ISA instead. With the remaining lump sum, put it into an interest savings account (granted I'll have to pay tax on any of this interest).
Option 2) i mentioned we are discussing having me legally added to the apartment deeds i currently live in. I'm wondering if we should do this, or i should buy my first property and put it to rent?
Thing is when I do run the numbers of rental income it never looks worthwhile considering tax / admin fees, and then on top of that you could have issues with the property/tenants as well. I've been told new builds could be worth considering to avoid property issues but i'm still uncertain and honestly don't like the idea of extra hassle. Would it make sense from a diversification perspective and instead of focussing on rental income just thinking about the future property price appreciation if i were to buy in a major city outside of London for example?
I also hear that the rental market is no longer worth it, but if i were to look at purchasing a property to rent out instead of living in, then i'd consider buying outside of London.
Option 3) Honestly speaking, i would love to own a house long term but in the area i live in it would be unaffordable for me even with the lump sum and my salary unless i find a "do-er upper" but then that would require additional funds to renovate and for that you're looking at £550k minimum. Not interested in moving away from the area i live in unless i was to move country.
In case of option 2 or 3, f i do purchase a property, does it make sense to use the full £250k towards a deposit or is that silly?
In addition, personally, always thought it's better to be in a position of more liquid assets than non-liquid. I understand that investing in the stock market isn't necessary non-liquid depending on state of the markets at time of withdrawal, but i do think they are more liquid compared to property.
I don't like the idea of locking money into a pension vehicle either due to the age access restrictions, but the tax benefits are clearly worth it. Also dumb question: Can my workplace pension be accessed at the same age as a SIPP if i chose to open one? (i.e. any reason i shouldn't salary sacrifice more into my employers pension, instead of a SIPP)?
So, what's the best way i can utilize this lump sum? Is option 1 better than option 2 / 3? Are there other options I should be considering? Am I missing anything obvious?
Thank you for reading my essay.
2023.04.02 13:55 Oskardespin NC is starting to pay off!
Over 2.5 years ago I went NC after a fight when I set my first boundary at 36. I said "no" to cancelling all my plans to help my mom on a day more convenient to the one she had already agreed on earlier that week. Then she exploded in a rage I hadn't seen in many years as I had become completely subservient as a coping mechanism.
This was during covid so the first year was very lonely being cut off from more and more family choosing my mom's side and blaming me for "hurting her by cutting ties". I got very depressed with suicidal feelings and didn't really know who I was outside that family structure with my role that I played so perfectly to survive. Luckily I have a good therapist now and am working trough my trauma with schema therapy.
Due to the trauma from bullying and my upbringing on top of having adhd and autism with many periods in my life with anxiety and depression, I hadn't been able to hold a job and mostly did volunteer work. My mom also sabotaged any plans I had by filling my head with doubts, basically projecting her own fears and beliefs onto me as I think she saw me as an extension of herself. My mom was a stay at home mom but always seemed to regret that and then cultivated some kind of martyr and victim narrative as to why her life didn't go her way and the safest place to be in her presence was to "fail" as well, to be dependent on her, but also not to be a bother to her.
After covid I got into a back to work program that I asked for myself to get on my own two feet again and rebuild the confidence that I could make something of my life instead of believing my mom's lies that I was both really smart like her but also would never hold a job because it was too hard for me.
About 5 weeks ago I started working as a bicycle mechanic, in a small shop with 3 other coworkers including the owner. The work culture is amazing, we eat breakfast together, someone cooks lunch every day, we are all equal here. No manipulation, no false pretenses, the other shoe hasn't dropped yet though of course I do have those fears that I can luckily discuss in therapy.On top of this crew being such a nice place where I feel like I have a future, they are all former refugees from Afghanistan and Muslim, while I was raised on so much anti Islamic and anti refugee hatred by my parents, being in an evangelical cult in my teens that my parents joined then.
So also on the part of my religious indoctrination as a kid/teen/young adult, this has been so healing. My coworkers are right now fasting for the ramadan, yet they bring me my breakfast and are fine with me eating. No guilt tripping, no angry faces, this feels so much more like family than I have ever felt growing up, yet this should be the thing I was raised to fear the most, guess that adds another lie to the list of many others my parents told me growing up.
The more I heal, the more I see the web my mom spun and how deep it goes, it is crazy how I used to think she was the only person who truly understood me, while all she did was mold me to be more like her to suit her own selfish needs and to confirm her own biases trough sabotaging me and my siblings.
I joked to my sister the other day about what mom would think of us now, being both NC with her and having jobs she would look down on as below our capabilities, yet we both couldn't be happier right now, without her.
submitted by Oskardespin to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
This was during covid so the first year was very lonely being cut off from more and more family choosing my mom's side and blaming me for "hurting her by cutting ties". I got very depressed with suicidal feelings and didn't really know who I was outside that family structure with my role that I played so perfectly to survive. Luckily I have a good therapist now and am working trough my trauma with schema therapy.
Due to the trauma from bullying and my upbringing on top of having adhd and autism with many periods in my life with anxiety and depression, I hadn't been able to hold a job and mostly did volunteer work. My mom also sabotaged any plans I had by filling my head with doubts, basically projecting her own fears and beliefs onto me as I think she saw me as an extension of herself. My mom was a stay at home mom but always seemed to regret that and then cultivated some kind of martyr and victim narrative as to why her life didn't go her way and the safest place to be in her presence was to "fail" as well, to be dependent on her, but also not to be a bother to her.
After covid I got into a back to work program that I asked for myself to get on my own two feet again and rebuild the confidence that I could make something of my life instead of believing my mom's lies that I was both really smart like her but also would never hold a job because it was too hard for me.
About 5 weeks ago I started working as a bicycle mechanic, in a small shop with 3 other coworkers including the owner. The work culture is amazing, we eat breakfast together, someone cooks lunch every day, we are all equal here. No manipulation, no false pretenses, the other shoe hasn't dropped yet though of course I do have those fears that I can luckily discuss in therapy.On top of this crew being such a nice place where I feel like I have a future, they are all former refugees from Afghanistan and Muslim, while I was raised on so much anti Islamic and anti refugee hatred by my parents, being in an evangelical cult in my teens that my parents joined then.
So also on the part of my religious indoctrination as a kid/teen/young adult, this has been so healing. My coworkers are right now fasting for the ramadan, yet they bring me my breakfast and are fine with me eating. No guilt tripping, no angry faces, this feels so much more like family than I have ever felt growing up, yet this should be the thing I was raised to fear the most, guess that adds another lie to the list of many others my parents told me growing up.
The more I heal, the more I see the web my mom spun and how deep it goes, it is crazy how I used to think she was the only person who truly understood me, while all she did was mold me to be more like her to suit her own selfish needs and to confirm her own biases trough sabotaging me and my siblings.
I joked to my sister the other day about what mom would think of us now, being both NC with her and having jobs she would look down on as below our capabilities, yet we both couldn't be happier right now, without her.
2023.04.02 13:54 Hour-Try2210 Does this make sense (advice from lawyer on chapter 13)
We paid a lawyer a fee to look at our case and here are the main facts: We have close to $95k in credit card debt and $130k in parent plus loans. I also have several 401k loans. We own our home but have 2 mortgages and not much equity. We own 2 cars with no loans (rolled them into 2nd mortgage). My husband is 66 and had a stroke almost 2 years ago. He’s been working but also had 3 operations and was out of work a lot these past 2 years. Even though we can’t afford it, he cannot keep working his very physical job so he’s retiring June 1. I’m younger, so I’ll be working another 7 years. I hate that we’re here at this time in our life and I can keep us afloat anymore.
Our lawyer says they won’t consider his social security but my income alone is above the mean so we have to do chapter 13. She says we have to wait 6 months after he retires to have his income not considered in the calculation. She also advised us to take loans out on our cars (or get a newer car) now because it’s advantageous to have car loans in a 13 and it’s really hard to get a car loan in a 13. It feels like a bad financial decision but it does make sense, right?? She also said to stop paying on cards now, but I don’t want to blow sh*t up with our creditors too soon. I have a professional job and I cannot have harassing calls or wage garnishment. I’m thinking I’ll find a way to pay until 3 months before we file (which will be 8 months from now). To keep things afloat we’ll use the money from the car loan and also take out what little he has in his 401k now. We’re thinking that besides keeping us going for the next 6 months, we put that money into home repairs that are desperately needed and hopefully pay off one of the 401k loans we have. Putting numbers in the schedule, I don’t see how we could pay more than $500 a month. Is it true that social security income isn’t part of the equation? Is there any problem with taking out the little he has is his 401k to get us through (it’s only around 6k)? I am just asking opinions and not legal advice.
P.s. the lawyer also kind of scared us by telling us that there is a really good trustee in our district now who could retire at any time, but newer ones being appointed are all more pro-creditors than past ones 😳
submitted by Hour-Try2210 to Bankruptcy [link] [comments]
Our lawyer says they won’t consider his social security but my income alone is above the mean so we have to do chapter 13. She says we have to wait 6 months after he retires to have his income not considered in the calculation. She also advised us to take loans out on our cars (or get a newer car) now because it’s advantageous to have car loans in a 13 and it’s really hard to get a car loan in a 13. It feels like a bad financial decision but it does make sense, right?? She also said to stop paying on cards now, but I don’t want to blow sh*t up with our creditors too soon. I have a professional job and I cannot have harassing calls or wage garnishment. I’m thinking I’ll find a way to pay until 3 months before we file (which will be 8 months from now). To keep things afloat we’ll use the money from the car loan and also take out what little he has in his 401k now. We’re thinking that besides keeping us going for the next 6 months, we put that money into home repairs that are desperately needed and hopefully pay off one of the 401k loans we have. Putting numbers in the schedule, I don’t see how we could pay more than $500 a month. Is it true that social security income isn’t part of the equation? Is there any problem with taking out the little he has is his 401k to get us through (it’s only around 6k)? I am just asking opinions and not legal advice.
P.s. the lawyer also kind of scared us by telling us that there is a really good trustee in our district now who could retire at any time, but newer ones being appointed are all more pro-creditors than past ones 😳
2023.04.02 13:54 infoshen 6 Year Relationship Gone
My Ex-Girlfriend (23) and I (24) dated since high school for 6 and a half years. We have had many ups and downs but we grew to become adults with each other. She is currently pursuing her PHD while I am working so we are in a sort of long distance relationship (2 hour drive). With balancing work, personal life, gym, and the relationship, we still talked every night and I saw her about 2-3 weekends a month. We recently went on a snowboarding trip with many people and had a great time.
Two weeks after the trip, she facetimed me, and dumps me. She said that she is tired of asking for things from me. She is tired of asking for flowers. She is tired of not feeling like a priority in my life. She said she feels like she can do better. She said she has slowly been falling out of love with me a couple days after the snowboarding trip (>2 weeks). She said she didn’t see her marrying me I asked her if there was someone else because this is so sudden, and she said no.
Truth be told, there is some truth in what she said. I didn’t get her as many flowers as she deserved. I didn’t always prioritize her. I regret my complacency and lack of expression of love. When we were together in person on the weekends, we had an amazing time. I always put her first. When I’m home, I am tired from work and then the gym. So I would just play games for 2 hours max and we would call for 30-90 minutes a day on the weekdays.
After our call and we were broken up, I sent her texts of how I realized I messed up. I acknowledged my complacency and lack of expression of love. She didn’t want to talk in person. She wanted me to leave her alone. I tried so hard to contact her. She said she was driving back down for the weekend (only 1 day after breakup). I thought we would talk, but she wanted to part ways. I asked all day respectfully to talk in person. She either ignored me or told her to let her go. At night, I drove to her house and her car wasn’t there. I was worried that she already moved on because why would she drive down and not be home at night. I asked her friend for her location and found her about to take the train to the city and probably go to a club. I asked if we could talk and she walked away and blocked me on everything.
I am ashamed for overstepping her boundaries. I sent one last email as it was the only way to talk to her. I won’t contact her again, but I hope she contacts me.
submitted by infoshen to BreakUps [link] [comments]
Two weeks after the trip, she facetimed me, and dumps me. She said that she is tired of asking for things from me. She is tired of asking for flowers. She is tired of not feeling like a priority in my life. She said she feels like she can do better. She said she has slowly been falling out of love with me a couple days after the snowboarding trip (>2 weeks). She said she didn’t see her marrying me I asked her if there was someone else because this is so sudden, and she said no.
Truth be told, there is some truth in what she said. I didn’t get her as many flowers as she deserved. I didn’t always prioritize her. I regret my complacency and lack of expression of love. When we were together in person on the weekends, we had an amazing time. I always put her first. When I’m home, I am tired from work and then the gym. So I would just play games for 2 hours max and we would call for 30-90 minutes a day on the weekdays.
After our call and we were broken up, I sent her texts of how I realized I messed up. I acknowledged my complacency and lack of expression of love. She didn’t want to talk in person. She wanted me to leave her alone. I tried so hard to contact her. She said she was driving back down for the weekend (only 1 day after breakup). I thought we would talk, but she wanted to part ways. I asked all day respectfully to talk in person. She either ignored me or told her to let her go. At night, I drove to her house and her car wasn’t there. I was worried that she already moved on because why would she drive down and not be home at night. I asked her friend for her location and found her about to take the train to the city and probably go to a club. I asked if we could talk and she walked away and blocked me on everything.
I am ashamed for overstepping her boundaries. I sent one last email as it was the only way to talk to her. I won’t contact her again, but I hope she contacts me.
2023.04.02 13:53 Due_Set7720 300+ Free Udemy Certificate Courses - PART 1 - 2/4/23
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- Portrait Photography for Absolute Beginners-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/mastering-portrait-photography/
- Master Course of International Business-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/master-course-of-international-business/
- Master Course of Facebook Training-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/master-course-of-facebook-training/
- Master Course of Art Gallery Management-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/master-course-of-art-gallery-management/
- Master Budgets – Managerial Accounting/Cost Accounting-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/master-budgets-managerial-accountingcost-accounting/
- Master Course in Marketing Psychology 2.0-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/marketing-psychology-neuromarketing-consumer-research-consumerbehavio
- Master Course in Marketing Plan and Marketing Management 2.0-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/marketing-plan-marketing-management-product-marketing-sales-plan/
- Marketing en Facebook Ads - Leads /Clientes Potenciales 2023-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/marketing-facebook-ads-leads-clientes-ventas-2020-2021-social-media/
- Marketing en Facebook Ads -Ecommerce para Ventas Online 2023-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/marketing-digital-facebook-ads-ecommerce-ventas-online-dropshipping/
- Managerial Accounting / Cost Accounting-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/managerial-accounting-cost-accounting/
- Master Course in Management Consulting and Management Skills-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/management-consulting-management-skills-coaching-consulting-business/
- Instagram Photo: Make Your Instagram Look Pretty in 5 Steps-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/make-your-instagram-look-astonishingly-pretty-in-5-steps/
- See 27 Ways to Make Money Online with Your Smartphone!-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/make-money-with-your-smartphone/
- How to Make Money Online for Beginners: Follow PROVEN STEPS!-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/make-money-online-for-beginners/
- Learn 6 SIMPLE Steps to Make Money on TikTok App!-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/make-money-on-tiktok/
- Media Training: Looking Good on TV- Preparing for the Camera-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/looking-good-on-tv-how-to-prepare-for-the-video-camera/
- Master Course in Logistics and Supply Chain Management 2.0-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/logistics-and-suppy-chain-management/
- Live Longer & Reclaim Your Youth Using New Longevity Tech!-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/live-longer-reclaim-your-youth-using-new-longevity-tech/
- Linux Command Line Terminal Basic for Beginners (In Hindi)-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/linux-command-line-terminal-basic-for-beginner-in-hindi/
- LinkedIn Virality: Go Viral on LinkedIn-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/linkedin-virality-go-viral-on-linkedin/
- Windows Command Line Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-windows-command-line/
- Web Hosting Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-web-hosting/
- Sublime Text 3 Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-sublime-text-3/
- Slack Ultimate Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-slack/
- PowerShell Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-powershell/
- Opera Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-opera/
- Next.js Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-nextjs/
- Microsoft Word Ultimate Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-microsoft-word/
- Microsoft To Do Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-microsoft-to-do/
- Microsoft Teams Ultimate Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-microsoft-teams/
- Microsoft Sway Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-microsoft-sway-course/
- Microsoft Publisher Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-microsoft-publishe
- Microsoft PowerPoint Ultimate Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-microsoft-powerpoint/
- Microsoft PowerApps Ultimate Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-microsoft-powerapps-/
- Adobe Creative Cloud Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-creative-cloud/
- Trello Ultimate Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-basic-trello/
- SVG Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-basic-svg/
- Adobe Character Animator Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-basic-character-animato
- Adobe Audition Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-basic-audition/
- Adobe Animate Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-basic-animate/
- Adobe After Effects Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-basic-after-effects/
- Adobe Bridge Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-basic-adobe-bridge/
- Adobe Acrobat DC Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/learn-basic-acrobat-dc/
2023.04.02 13:51 Due_Set7720 300+ Free Udemy Certificate Courses - PART 1 - 2/4/23
View All Courses: https://inventhigh.net
submitted by Due_Set7720 to udemyfreebies [link] [comments]
- Web Development Assessment-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/web-development-assessment/
- File & Folder Management Using PowerShell-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/using-powershell-advanced-automated-file-management/
- Certification Course For Angular 6-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/ultimate-angular-course-learn-angular-practically/
- Twitter Chat Bot in Python 2023 from Scratch.-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/twitter-chat-bot-in-python/
- Function Guide In C++-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-ultimate-c-course-learn-from-scratch/
- Swing Trading Ninja: 12 Hour Complete Swing Trading Strategy-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/swing-trading/
- Reverse Engineering 5: Reversing Visual Basic-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/reverse-engineering-visual-basic/
- Reverse Engineering: Ghidra For Beginners-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/reverse-engineering-ghidra/
- Master Course of Rapid Application Development-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/rapid-application-development/
- Python For Data Engineering 2023 Edition-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/python-for-data-engineering/
- Python Complete Course For Beginners-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/python-complete-course-for-beginners-h/
- PHP with MySQL 2023: Build Real Estate Management System-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/php-with-mysql-2023-build-real-estate-management-system/
- Open AI's Generative Pre-trained Transformer 3 (GPT3)-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/open-ais-generative-pre-trained-transformer-3-gpt3/
- Master HTML and CSS by building real world projects-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/master-html-and-css-by-building-real-world-projects/
- Information Security Fundamentals-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/infosec-fundamentals/
- Complete Windows Password Cracking Course Practical Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/crack-windows-passwords/
- Javascript Build a Calculator using HTML, CSS and Javascript-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/build-a-simple-calculator-using-html-css-and-javascript/
- The Ultimate ChatGPT Quiz Course-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-ultimate-chatgpt-quiz-course/
- Create Quiz using HTML, CSS, Bootstrap and JQuery-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/create-quiz-using-html-css-bootstrap-and-jquery/
- Zabbix Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/zabbix-course/
- YouTube Podcast Marketing For Natural Health Practitioners-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/youtube-podcast-marketing-for-natural-health-practitioners/
- Xero Accounting Software-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/xero-accounting-software-2020/
- Writing Security Tools In Ethical Hacking-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/writing-security-tools-in-ethical-hacking/
- Writing Exploits In Ethical Hacking-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/writing-exploits-in-ethical-hacking/
- Writing Clear and Concise Reports: Tips and Strategies-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/writing-clear-and-concise-reports-tips-and-strategies/
- Work Life Balance With Neuroscience & Time Management-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/work-life-balance-with-neuroscience-and-time-management/
- Wondershare Filmora 11 Video Editing Course in Hindi-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/wondershare-filmora-11/
- When Personal Training Gets Personal-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/when-personal-training-gets-personal/
- WebVR Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/webxr-v
- Website Flipping Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/website-flipping-course/
- Webpack Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/webpack-v/
- WebGL Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/webgl-course/
- Master Course in Web Frameworks-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/web-frameworks/
- Wave Accounting-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/wave-accounting-2020/
- Sanitation & Wastewater Treatment Explained-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/wastewater-treatment-explained/
- Video Production - Inexpensive Talking Head Video - Business-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/video-production-inexpensive-talking-head-video-business/
- Marketing Automatisierung mit Webinaris-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/verkaufsstarke-webinare-mit-webinaris/
- اسرار رسم الاشجار بالخامات المختلفة للمبتدئين-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/trees-materials/
- Aerospace Masterclass: Transonic Aerodynamics-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/transonic-aerodynamics/
- Top 5 Secrets for Improving Screenwriting Skills Summary-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/top-5-secrets-for-improving-screenwriting-skills/
- Habilidades para Tomada de Decisão + [5 CURSOS EXTRAS]-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/tomada-de-decisao/
- Time Value of Money & Capital Budgeting - Present Value-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/time-value-of-money-capital-budgeting-present-value/
- Master Course in Time Management-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/time-management-personal-office-productivity-management-skills/
- Three.js Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/threejs-course/
- Public Speaking: You Can be a Great Speaker within 24 Hours-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-ultimate-public-speaking-course/
- The Ultimate Guide to Private and Public Sector-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-ultimate-guide-to-private-and-public-secto
- The Ultimate Data Science Quiz Course-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-ultimate-data-science-quiz-course/
- The Ultimate Blockchain Quiz Course-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-ultimate-blockchain-quiz-course/
- Master Course of Lean Startup and IT Startup-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-lean-startup-it-startup-master-course/
- The Concept of Waste-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-concept-of-waste/
- The Complete Writing Course: Develop True Writing Mastery-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-complete-writing-course-develop-true-writing-mastery/
- The Complete Telecommuting Course - Remote Work - Work Life-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-complete-telecommuting-course-remote-work-work-life/
- The Complete Talking Head Video Production Masterclass-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-complete-talking-head-video-production-masterclass/
- The Complete Journaling Course: Build Self-Awareness Habits-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-complete-journaling-course-build-self-awareness-habits/
- The complete introduction to cryptocurrencies trading-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-complete-introduction-to-cryptocurrencies-trading/
- The Complete Happiness Course: Become Happier Now!-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-complete-happiness-course-become-happier-now/
- The Complete Google Forms Course - Sending & Analyzing Forms-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-complete-google-forms-course-sending-analyzing-forms/
- The 10 Laws for Personal Success - The Complete Course-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/the-10-laws-for-personal-success-the-complete-course/
- Thai Language Quick Start Guide - Learn Thai Language Basics-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/thai-language-course/
- Real time Automation+Manual Interview Questions with Answers-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/testing-interview-questions-with-answers/
- Master Course in Teacher Training and Teaching Online 2.0-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/teacher-training-teaching-online-elearning-remote-teaching/
- Passive Income By Making Udmy Courses 2023-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/teach-udemy-passive-income-online-course-creation-hindi-urdu-2021-2022/
- Tax Credits - Family & Dependent Tax Credits-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/tax-credits-2018-2019-family-dependent-tax-credits/
- Tax & Adjusting Entry Year-End Accounting Excel Worksheet-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/tax-adjusting-entry-year-end-accounting-excel-worksheet/
- Complete Beginners Trading Strategy For Passive Income-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/swing-trading-strategy-for-beginners-full-course/
- Swagger Tools Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/swagger-tools/
- De-Stress : Managing Stress And Anxiety With Confidence-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/stress-reduction-program/
- Master Course in Stress Management and Anger Management-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/stress-management-anger-management-emotions-meditations-mindfulness/
- Strategic Partnerships and Collaborations-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/strategic-partnerships-and-collaborations/
- 6 Killer Startup Business Ideas In One Masterclass Framework-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/starting-6-businesses-in-2021/
- Run Facebook Event Ad, Youtube Channel & Google Ad 2023-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/start-vlogging-youtube-channel-marketing-videos-editing-phone/
- Public Speaking: Eliminate Verbal Tics, Uh, Um, Er, Ya Know-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/speech-therapy-eliminate-verbal-tics-uh-um-er-ya-know/
- Master Course in Social Entrepreneurship 2.0-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/social-entrepreneurship-nonprofit-startup-social-work/
- Shopify Dropshipping Winning Product Research & Sourcing-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/shopify-dropshipping-winning-product-research-hunting-sourcing-/
- Sell Products with Facebook Ads Fast On Shopify 2023-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/shopify-dropshipping-facebook-ads-ecommerce-masterclass-2020-2021-2022/
- Shopify Bootcamp: Increase Your Sales and Conversion rate-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/shopify-bootcamp-increase-your-sales-and-conversion-rate/
- Shamanic Essentials [Accredited Certificate Course]-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/shamanic-essentials/
- Servlet Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/servlet-course/
- Server Infrastructure Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/server-infrastructure/
- Best of Google SEO 2023: SEO & Copywriting Made Simple & Fun-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/seo-2022/
- Self Discipline will Change Your life for GOOD-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/self-discipline-will-change-your-life-for-good/
- Screenwriting: Writing a Selling Story with Your Bare Hands-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/screenwriting-writing-a-selling-story-with-your-bare-hands/
- Master Course: SAP BI, SAP BusinessObjects, SAP Business One-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/sap-bi-sap-businessobjects-sap-business-one-sap-bw-erp/
- Master Course in Sales Skills-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/sales-skills-sales-anayst/
- Master Course in Sales Forecasting and Sales Management 2.0-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/sales-forecasting-sales-management-forecasting-models-sales-skills/
- S Corporation Income Tax - Form 1120S-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/s-corporation-income-tax/
- Master Course in Restaurant Business & Restaurant Management-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/restaurant-business-restaurant-management-catering-hotel-management/
- Responsibility Accounting & Performance Measurement-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/responsibility-accounting-performance-measurement/
- Relevant Costs - Managerial Accounting Decisions & Scenarios-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/relevant-costs-managerial-accounting-decisions-scenarios/
- Rank Your Blog Website in Google: SEO For Beginners 2023-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/rank-your-blog-website-in-google-beginners-seo-course/
- QuickBooks Pro Desktop -Bookkeeping Business-Easy Way-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/quickbooks-pro-bookkeeping-the-easy-way-for-small-businesses/
- QuickBooks Pro-Business & Personal-One QuickBooks File-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/quickbooks-pro-2019-business-personal-one-quickbooks-file/
- QuickBooks Desktop 2023, 2022, & 2021-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/quickbooks-pro-2018-start-to-finish/
- QuickBooks Payroll - QuickBooks Online-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/quickbooks-payroll-quickbooks-online-2019/
- QuickBooks Online vs Xero Accounting Software-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/quickbooks-online-vs-xero-accounting-software-2020/
- QuickBooks Online vs. QuickBooks Desktop vs. Excel-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/quickbooks-online-vs-quickbooks-desktop-vs-excel/
- QuickBooks Online vs. Excel 2022-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/quickbooks-online-vs-excel/
- QuickBooks Desktop Not for Profit Organizations-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/quickbooks-desktop-not-for-profit-organizations/
- QuickBooks Desktop Job Costing-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/quickbooks-desktop-job-costing/
- QuickBooks Desktop vs. Excel-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/quickbooks-desktop-2018-vs-excel/
- Quantity Surveyor's Guide for Pre-Contracts Management-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/quantity-surveyors-guide-for-pre-contracts-management/
- Master Course in Public Speaking-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/public-speaking-leadership/
- Public Speaking for Women-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/public-speaking-for-women/
- Public Speaking for People Who Hate Public Speaking-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/public-speaking-for-people-who-hate-public-speaking/
- Public Speaking - High Tech Executives Can be Eloquent-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/public-speaking-for-high-tech-executives/
- Public Speaking for High School Students: Speak Well Now-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/public-speaking-for-high-school-students/
- Public Speaking: Financial Advisers Convey Your Expertise-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/public-speaking-for-financial-advisers/
- Prometheus Software Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/prometheus-software/
- Project Management Assessment-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/project-management-assessment/
- Project Management Assessment-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/project-management-assessment/
- Master Course of Professional Ethics-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/professional-ethics/
- Process Costing System-Cost Accounting-Managerial Accounting-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/process-costing-system-cost-accounting-managerial-accounting/
- Print On Demand Masterclass - Shopify Store Creation in 2023-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/print-on-demand-masterclass-shopify-store-creation-in-2022-course/
- Presentation Skills for Beginners-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/presentation-skills-for-beginners/
- PowerShell Functions Master Class-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/powershell-functions-master-class/
- How to Start a Podcast - Podcasting Made Easy-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/powerpodcasters/
- Media Training Public Speaking Training for Candidates-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/political-candidate-media-and-public-speaking-training/
- Podcast Coach: Podcasting Profits-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/podcasting-profits-coaching-for-dollars/
- Podcast Host Masterclass-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/podcast-radio-talk-host/
- PODCAST MASTERY: How to Make, Market, and Monetize Podcasts-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/podcast-mastery/
- Master Course in Project Management 2.0-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/pmp-project-management/
- Persuasion in Business Communications-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/persuasion-in-business-communications/
- Python Certification Exam PCEP-30-02 - Preparation (2023)-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/pcep-certification-python-exam-practice-tests/
- Partnership Income Tax (Form 1065)-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/partnership-income-tax-form-1065/
- Podcast Outsourcing-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/outsource-podcasts-social-media-marketing/
- Master course in Organizational Behavior and Design-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/organizational-behavior-organizational-design/
- Master Course in Operational Risk Management (ORM)-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/operational-risk-management-orm/
- OpenGL Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/opengl-course/
- Open Broadcaster Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/open-broadcaste
- SEO Training: Complete SEO Course & SEO Copywriting MASTERY-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/online-seo-training/
- Digital Marketing Business With Google My Business - 2023-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/online-marketing-with-google-my-business-digital-marketing/
- Online-Marketing: Sales Funnel Grundlagen und Landingpages-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/online-marketing-sales-funnel-grundlagen/
- Online Course Creation: Complete Course of Blunders to Avoid-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/online-course-creation-complete-course-of-blunders-to-avoid/
- Master Course in Online Business and Home Business-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/online-business-home-business-passive-income-dropshipping/
- The Complete Mobile Notary Business Course-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/notary-business/
- Not-for-Profit Accounting-Charities, Colleges, & Health Care-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/not-for-profit-accounting-charities-colleges-health-care/
- Neuroplasticity: Teach Your Brain To Work 3 Times Faster-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/neuroplasticity-teach-your-brain-to-work-3-times-faste
- Network Monitoring Basics Guide-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/network-monitoring/
- Habilidades de Negociação e Influência + [5 CURSOS EXTRAS]-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/negociacao-e-influencia/
- Money In Excel - Income Tax Sch. C & Personal Financials-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/money-in-excel-income-tax-sch-c-personal-financials/
- Mindset for Success and Happiness - Complete Mindset Course-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/mindset-for-success-and-happiness-complete-mindset-course/
- Mind Power -10 Tips To Overcome The Habit Of Procrastination-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/mind-power-10-tips-to-overcome-the-habit-of-procrastination/
- Master Course : Microsoft SC-200 Security Operations Analyst-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/microsoft-sc-200-security-operations-analyst-microsoft-sc-900/
- Master Course of Microsoft Power Platform-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/microsoft-power-platform-microsoft-power-bi/
- Master Course in Microsoft PL-400 : Power Platform Developer-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/microsoft-pl-400-power-platform-developer-powerbi-power-apps-automate/
- Master Course in Microsoft MS-720 : MS Teams Voice Engineer-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/microsoft-ms-720-microsoft-teams-voice-engineer-ms-700/
- Master Course Microsoft MB-800 Dynamics 365 Business Central-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/microsoft-mb-800-dynamics-365-business-central-functional-consultant/
- Master Course in Microsoft MB-330 and MB-335 (Supply Chain)-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/microsoft-mb-330-mb-335-dynamics-365-supply-chain-management/
- Master Course in Microsoft MB-260 (Customer Data Platform)-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/microsoft-mb-260-customer-data-platform-specialty/
- Master Course in Microsoft MB-220 (Marketing Consultant)-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/microsoft-mb-220-dynamics-365-marketing-functional-consultant/
- Master Course in Microeconomics and Macroeconomics 2.0-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/microeconomics-macroeconomics-managerial-economics-global-economics/
- Meditation For Beginners-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/meditationforbeginners/
- Meditation Masterclass: meditation teacher certification-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/meditation-masterclass/
- Learn To Focus: Meditation & Mindfulness For ADHD-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/meditation-for-adhd/
- Media Training for Financial Service Professionals-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/media-training-for-financial-service-professionals/
- Media Training for Beginners: Ace Your First News Interviews-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/media-training-for-beginners/
- Facebook Marketing & Facebook Ads Course For Beginners 2023-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/mastery-on-facebook-marketing-facebook-advertising-ads-digital/
- Portrait Photography for Absolute Beginners-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/mastering-portrait-photography/
- Master Course of International Business-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/master-course-of-international-business/
- Master Course of Facebook Training-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/master-course-of-facebook-training/
- Master Course of Art Gallery Management-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/master-course-of-art-gallery-management/
- Master Budgets – Managerial Accounting/Cost Accounting-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/master-budgets-managerial-accountingcost-accounting/
- Master Course in Marketing Psychology 2.0-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/marketing-psychology-neuromarketing-consumer-research-consumerbehavio
- Master Course in Marketing Plan and Marketing Management 2.0-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/marketing-plan-marketing-management-product-marketing-sales-plan/
- Marketing en Facebook Ads - Leads /Clientes Potenciales 2023-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/marketing-facebook-ads-leads-clientes-ventas-2020-2021-social-media/
- Marketing en Facebook Ads -Ecommerce para Ventas Online 2023-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/marketing-digital-facebook-ads-ecommerce-ventas-online-dropshipping/
- Managerial Accounting / Cost Accounting-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/managerial-accounting-cost-accounting/
- Master Course in Management Consulting and Management Skills-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/management-consulting-management-skills-coaching-consulting-business/
- Instagram Photo: Make Your Instagram Look Pretty in 5 Steps-https://inventhigh.net/udemy/make-your-instagram-look-astonishingly-pretty-in-5-steps/
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submitted by AutoModerator to Latest2023Courses [link] [comments]
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2023.04.02 13:48 Boring40something Single mom desperately needing advice on moving forward after the death of partner/being financially immature and naive myself
Tl;dr - in financial hell after partners suicide, financially naive and immature single mom needs help adulting and brainstorming.
Hi. This will be long, but I need advice on how to proceed from here on out. This is not a beg for anything other than info so please no scammers. The ask subs have been scam city full of fake checks and Temu all night long and I’m exhausted by it lol I’m just looking for advice to fix my situation, not make it worse lol. My story in its entirety can be found in my post history but I don’t want to dwell on it too much here since it’s a trigger for some and not a grief subreddit. This group as well as the subreddit assistance were both recommended to me as a good advice source so here I am.
A few months ago my partner completed suicide. He was our main breadwinner for the duration of our relationship. I’ve always worked retail but he handled the finances. I cashed my check and he paid bills with it and gave me money for an incidentals or emergencies. It wasn’t that smart in hindsight, but we got along great and he seemed to be the perfect provider.
Well, it came out in time that he had been fired and we were actually getting evicted right before he made his decision. I was blind sided, he had been working MORE hours by his actions and words in the recent past.
Rent, 3 mos. Utilities, 3-6 mos behind. Car insurance on the verge of lapsing. Phones, stuff like that all set to be shut off or on payment extensions. Just a whole mess I was blissfully unaware of. I have pared down any additional expenses on the truly necessary bills to the very bare minimum.
I’ve worked through every workable option from various calls to 211 and received help with the rent/pledges to take care of most of it so that was great! But it’s still an overwhelming avalanche because in using all these programs I’ll be ineligible for help for a time period from that church or not for profit. I’ve called them all, the traditional churches for small town America and also the Mormon, lutheran, Unitarian churches. That’s how I got as far as I did. My state was long depleted their Covid rental assistance. Beyond 211 for community action centers and church, are there other avenues or types of groups you’re aware of that might help one time or short term that 211 isn’t aware of, an untapped resource or hidden gem?
I have started a second job, working for McDonald’s and dollar general now since neither are great about 40 hours and they both are low paying but close to home (I’m not in a large town). I donate plasma but CSL isn’t being great $$ wise and it’s the only center close enough to use. I’m considering trying out door dashing or Uber eats or anything where my kids might be able to come along as I don’t have a sitter for night times and can’t leave them alone.
I understand I can’t fix all this overnight, but I’m hoping others who have struggled or are struggling might be able to think out of the box and tell their ideas for earning income in a way that I can still have my kids around/ kid friendly or something that might work when you don’t have a lot of options as a parent or in jobs. I have attempted to find side jobs on Nextdoor but the babysitting and housekeeping market at least seems to be pretty saturated. I’m not afraid to work hard on my off hours, just don’t know what to offer or ways to do it. I’m hoping you can think outside the box for me and tell me what worked for you to raise the funds.
It has been an absolute struggle to provide but I was able to do a meeting for food stamps and Medicaid for my kids. My social worker is going to try to get me benefits within a week she says. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel there and not a moment too soon bc it had gotten to the point where I couldn’t personally eat for days at a time. To know we are all close to regular nourishment is a blessing. Never in my life did I imagine at 40 I’d be struggling so hard that basic necessities like toiletries and sanitary/hygiene items, food, etc would become impossible to attain. This has been hell, and humiliating.
I’m also going to look into social security for my daughter with this partner (one was his) bc if I understand right she should qualify for benefits. We weren’t married but he is on her birth certificate. I don’t live in a common law state. The situation with his mom who is his next of kin is complicated so hopefully this will go smoothly.
If you’ve had this experience yourself as a young child or your children have I will gladly take ANY advice you have on helping my children hell. Our daughter together is just absolutely lost and desperate to go to heaven too. I can’t answer their questions bc I have many myself. I’m trying to support them the best I can, but I’ll take any advice. Parenting is hard. Parenting when you’re broken is the most difficult thing I’ve ever lived.
Also, does Medicaid cover counseling/therapy for children, or is it something you just have to find on your own? I feel the kids might benefit from this. They have seen and felt things a kid never should from that day forward.
Please give me alllll the advice. I will accept it with an open mind and heart. My goal is just to dig out of this mess, but I can’t see the big picture when all the little ones are flashing by like this. Hopefully this made sense. If you read this far, thank you.
submitted by Boring40something to povertyfinance [link] [comments]
Hi. This will be long, but I need advice on how to proceed from here on out. This is not a beg for anything other than info so please no scammers. The ask subs have been scam city full of fake checks and Temu all night long and I’m exhausted by it lol I’m just looking for advice to fix my situation, not make it worse lol. My story in its entirety can be found in my post history but I don’t want to dwell on it too much here since it’s a trigger for some and not a grief subreddit. This group as well as the subreddit assistance were both recommended to me as a good advice source so here I am.
A few months ago my partner completed suicide. He was our main breadwinner for the duration of our relationship. I’ve always worked retail but he handled the finances. I cashed my check and he paid bills with it and gave me money for an incidentals or emergencies. It wasn’t that smart in hindsight, but we got along great and he seemed to be the perfect provider.
Well, it came out in time that he had been fired and we were actually getting evicted right before he made his decision. I was blind sided, he had been working MORE hours by his actions and words in the recent past.
Rent, 3 mos. Utilities, 3-6 mos behind. Car insurance on the verge of lapsing. Phones, stuff like that all set to be shut off or on payment extensions. Just a whole mess I was blissfully unaware of. I have pared down any additional expenses on the truly necessary bills to the very bare minimum.
I’ve worked through every workable option from various calls to 211 and received help with the rent/pledges to take care of most of it so that was great! But it’s still an overwhelming avalanche because in using all these programs I’ll be ineligible for help for a time period from that church or not for profit. I’ve called them all, the traditional churches for small town America and also the Mormon, lutheran, Unitarian churches. That’s how I got as far as I did. My state was long depleted their Covid rental assistance. Beyond 211 for community action centers and church, are there other avenues or types of groups you’re aware of that might help one time or short term that 211 isn’t aware of, an untapped resource or hidden gem?
I have started a second job, working for McDonald’s and dollar general now since neither are great about 40 hours and they both are low paying but close to home (I’m not in a large town). I donate plasma but CSL isn’t being great $$ wise and it’s the only center close enough to use. I’m considering trying out door dashing or Uber eats or anything where my kids might be able to come along as I don’t have a sitter for night times and can’t leave them alone.
I understand I can’t fix all this overnight, but I’m hoping others who have struggled or are struggling might be able to think out of the box and tell their ideas for earning income in a way that I can still have my kids around/ kid friendly or something that might work when you don’t have a lot of options as a parent or in jobs. I have attempted to find side jobs on Nextdoor but the babysitting and housekeeping market at least seems to be pretty saturated. I’m not afraid to work hard on my off hours, just don’t know what to offer or ways to do it. I’m hoping you can think outside the box for me and tell me what worked for you to raise the funds.
It has been an absolute struggle to provide but I was able to do a meeting for food stamps and Medicaid for my kids. My social worker is going to try to get me benefits within a week she says. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel there and not a moment too soon bc it had gotten to the point where I couldn’t personally eat for days at a time. To know we are all close to regular nourishment is a blessing. Never in my life did I imagine at 40 I’d be struggling so hard that basic necessities like toiletries and sanitary/hygiene items, food, etc would become impossible to attain. This has been hell, and humiliating.
I’m also going to look into social security for my daughter with this partner (one was his) bc if I understand right she should qualify for benefits. We weren’t married but he is on her birth certificate. I don’t live in a common law state. The situation with his mom who is his next of kin is complicated so hopefully this will go smoothly.
If you’ve had this experience yourself as a young child or your children have I will gladly take ANY advice you have on helping my children hell. Our daughter together is just absolutely lost and desperate to go to heaven too. I can’t answer their questions bc I have many myself. I’m trying to support them the best I can, but I’ll take any advice. Parenting is hard. Parenting when you’re broken is the most difficult thing I’ve ever lived.
Also, does Medicaid cover counseling/therapy for children, or is it something you just have to find on your own? I feel the kids might benefit from this. They have seen and felt things a kid never should from that day forward.
Please give me alllll the advice. I will accept it with an open mind and heart. My goal is just to dig out of this mess, but I can’t see the big picture when all the little ones are flashing by like this. Hopefully this made sense. If you read this far, thank you.
2023.04.02 13:46 Dragirl007 Hot food in Salzburg
Greetings from the Czech Republic,
I'm lucky to visit Salzburg next week for a day and a half. I've already figured out what to see. However, I would like to ask, where should I go for a low-budget hot meal? Would you recommend places where the locals go for lunch (yes, I know most bring their lunch from home, but certainly not all)? It can be a cafeteria, a bistro, or a restaurant, but not fast food. Unfortunately, I will only be moving around the historic center, so the outskirts are unreachable to me. Are there any hidden spots? Even here in Prague, you can eat in the historic center at regular prices. You just have to know where to go.
Of course, I have supermarkets in reserve, but I would like to get something warm in my stomach.
And do you have any tips on what to avoid in the city now? After all, it is before Easter and cities are always different before the holidays. Or recommend an event that is only during Easter? :)
submitted by Dragirl007 to Austria [link] [comments]
I'm lucky to visit Salzburg next week for a day and a half. I've already figured out what to see. However, I would like to ask, where should I go for a low-budget hot meal? Would you recommend places where the locals go for lunch (yes, I know most bring their lunch from home, but certainly not all)? It can be a cafeteria, a bistro, or a restaurant, but not fast food. Unfortunately, I will only be moving around the historic center, so the outskirts are unreachable to me. Are there any hidden spots? Even here in Prague, you can eat in the historic center at regular prices. You just have to know where to go.
Of course, I have supermarkets in reserve, but I would like to get something warm in my stomach.
And do you have any tips on what to avoid in the city now? After all, it is before Easter and cities are always different before the holidays. Or recommend an event that is only during Easter? :)
2023.04.02 13:42 Boring40something Single mom needing advice after partners death/financial crisis
Tl;dr - in financial hell after partners suicide, financially naive and immature single mom needs help adulting and brainstorming. This is not a monetary request, just extremely long and detailed but I am desperate for advice so I’d be so grateful if you can offer me your time and brain 💜 any details I’ve missed in this can probably be found in my post history.
Hi. This will be long, but I need advice on how to proceed from here on out. This is not an ask, nor have I attempted to post one on here bc I don’t meet the requirements! I have posted asks on other financial subs but the PMs for huge check deposits and Temu aren’t long term advice lol. I’m trying to fix my situation, not make it worse lol. My story in its entirety can be found in my post history but I don’t want to dwell on it too much here since it’s a trigger for some and not a grief subreddit. This group as well as poverty finance were both recommended to me as a good and practical advice source for long term ideas and a plan so here I am.
A few months ago my partner completed suicide. He was our main breadwinner for the duration of our relationship. I’ve always worked retail but he handled the finances. I cashed my check and he paid bills with it and gave me money for an incidentals or emergencies. It wasn’t that smart in hindsight, but we got along great and he seemed to be the perfect provider.
Well, it came out in time that he had been fired and we were actually getting evicted right before he made his decision. I was blind sided, he had been working MORE hours by his actions and words in the recent past.
Rent, 3 mos. Utilities, 3-6 mos behind. Car insurance on the verge of lapsing. Phones, stuff like that all set to be shut off or on payment extensions. Just a whole mess I was blissfully unaware of. I have pared down any additional expenses on the truly necessary bills to the very bare minimum.
I’ve worked through every workable option from various calls to 211 and received help with the rent/pledges to take care of most of it so that was great! But it’s still an overwhelming avalanche because in using all these programs I’ll be ineligible for help for a time period from that church or not for profit. I’ve called them all, the traditional churches for small town America and also the Mormon, lutheran, Unitarian churches. That’s how I got as far as I did. My state was long depleted their Covid rental assistance. Beyond 211 for community action centers and church, are there other avenues or types of groups you’re aware of that might help one time or short term that 211 isn’t aware of, an untapped resource or hidden gem?
I have started a second job, working for McDonald’s and dollar general now since neither are great about 40 hours and they both are low paying but close to home (I’m not in a large town). I donate plasma but CSL isn’t being great $$ wise and it’s the only center close enough to use. I’m considering trying out door dashing or Uber eats or anything where my kids might be able to come along as I don’t have a sitter for night times and can’t leave them alone.
I understand I can’t fix all this overnight, but I’m hoping others who have struggled or are struggling might be able to think out of the box and tell their ideas for earning income in a way that I can still have my kids around/ kid friendly or something that might work when you don’t have a lot of options as a parent or in jobs. I have attempted to find side jobs on Nextdoor but the babysitting and housekeeping market at least seems to be pretty saturated. I’m not afraid to work hard on my off hours, just don’t know what to offer or ways to do it. I’m hoping you can think outside the box for me and tell me what worked for you to raise the funds.
It has been an absolute struggle to provide but I was able to do a meeting for food stamps and Medicaid for my kids. My social worker is going to try to get me benefits within a week she says. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel there and not a moment too soon bc it had gotten to the point where I couldn’t personally eat for days at a time. To know we are all close to regular nourishment is a blessing. Never in my life did I imagine at 40 I’d be struggling so hard that basic necessities like toiletries and sanitary/hygiene items, food, etc would become impossible to attain. This has been hell, and humiliating.
I’m also going to look into social security for my daughter with this partner (one was his) bc if I understand right she should qualify for benefits. We weren’t married but he is on her birth certificate. I don’t live in a common law state. The situation with his mom who is his next of kin is complicated so hopefully this will go smoothly.
If you’ve had this experience yourself as a young child or your children have I will gladly take ANY advice you have on helping my children hell. Our daughter together is just absolutely lost and desperate to go to heaven too. I can’t answer their questions bc I have many myself. I’m trying to support them the best I can, but I’ll take any advice. Parenting is hard. Parenting when you’re broken is the most difficult thing I’ve ever lived.
Also, does Medicaid cover counseling/therapy for children, or is it something you just have to find on your own? I feel the kids might benefit from this. They have seen and felt things a kid never should from that day forward.
Please give me alllll the advice. I will accept it with an open mind and heart. My goal is just to dig out of this mess, but I can’t see the big picture when all the little ones are flashing by like this. Hopefully this made sense. If you read this far, thank you.
submitted by Boring40something to Assistance [link] [comments]
Hi. This will be long, but I need advice on how to proceed from here on out. This is not an ask, nor have I attempted to post one on here bc I don’t meet the requirements! I have posted asks on other financial subs but the PMs for huge check deposits and Temu aren’t long term advice lol. I’m trying to fix my situation, not make it worse lol. My story in its entirety can be found in my post history but I don’t want to dwell on it too much here since it’s a trigger for some and not a grief subreddit. This group as well as poverty finance were both recommended to me as a good and practical advice source for long term ideas and a plan so here I am.
A few months ago my partner completed suicide. He was our main breadwinner for the duration of our relationship. I’ve always worked retail but he handled the finances. I cashed my check and he paid bills with it and gave me money for an incidentals or emergencies. It wasn’t that smart in hindsight, but we got along great and he seemed to be the perfect provider.
Well, it came out in time that he had been fired and we were actually getting evicted right before he made his decision. I was blind sided, he had been working MORE hours by his actions and words in the recent past.
Rent, 3 mos. Utilities, 3-6 mos behind. Car insurance on the verge of lapsing. Phones, stuff like that all set to be shut off or on payment extensions. Just a whole mess I was blissfully unaware of. I have pared down any additional expenses on the truly necessary bills to the very bare minimum.
I’ve worked through every workable option from various calls to 211 and received help with the rent/pledges to take care of most of it so that was great! But it’s still an overwhelming avalanche because in using all these programs I’ll be ineligible for help for a time period from that church or not for profit. I’ve called them all, the traditional churches for small town America and also the Mormon, lutheran, Unitarian churches. That’s how I got as far as I did. My state was long depleted their Covid rental assistance. Beyond 211 for community action centers and church, are there other avenues or types of groups you’re aware of that might help one time or short term that 211 isn’t aware of, an untapped resource or hidden gem?
I have started a second job, working for McDonald’s and dollar general now since neither are great about 40 hours and they both are low paying but close to home (I’m not in a large town). I donate plasma but CSL isn’t being great $$ wise and it’s the only center close enough to use. I’m considering trying out door dashing or Uber eats or anything where my kids might be able to come along as I don’t have a sitter for night times and can’t leave them alone.
I understand I can’t fix all this overnight, but I’m hoping others who have struggled or are struggling might be able to think out of the box and tell their ideas for earning income in a way that I can still have my kids around/ kid friendly or something that might work when you don’t have a lot of options as a parent or in jobs. I have attempted to find side jobs on Nextdoor but the babysitting and housekeeping market at least seems to be pretty saturated. I’m not afraid to work hard on my off hours, just don’t know what to offer or ways to do it. I’m hoping you can think outside the box for me and tell me what worked for you to raise the funds.
It has been an absolute struggle to provide but I was able to do a meeting for food stamps and Medicaid for my kids. My social worker is going to try to get me benefits within a week she says. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel there and not a moment too soon bc it had gotten to the point where I couldn’t personally eat for days at a time. To know we are all close to regular nourishment is a blessing. Never in my life did I imagine at 40 I’d be struggling so hard that basic necessities like toiletries and sanitary/hygiene items, food, etc would become impossible to attain. This has been hell, and humiliating.
I’m also going to look into social security for my daughter with this partner (one was his) bc if I understand right she should qualify for benefits. We weren’t married but he is on her birth certificate. I don’t live in a common law state. The situation with his mom who is his next of kin is complicated so hopefully this will go smoothly.
If you’ve had this experience yourself as a young child or your children have I will gladly take ANY advice you have on helping my children hell. Our daughter together is just absolutely lost and desperate to go to heaven too. I can’t answer their questions bc I have many myself. I’m trying to support them the best I can, but I’ll take any advice. Parenting is hard. Parenting when you’re broken is the most difficult thing I’ve ever lived.
Also, does Medicaid cover counseling/therapy for children, or is it something you just have to find on your own? I feel the kids might benefit from this. They have seen and felt things a kid never should from that day forward.
Please give me alllll the advice. I will accept it with an open mind and heart. My goal is just to dig out of this mess, but I can’t see the big picture when all the little ones are flashing by like this. Hopefully this made sense. If you read this far, thank you.
2023.04.02 13:37 gripother Tristan Tate - Godmode Playboy Tactics (High Quality)
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submitted by gripother to AndrewTateHighQuality [link] [comments]
I have Tristan Tate - Tristan Tate’s Godmode The Elite Playboy Tactics
Tristan Tate - Tristan Tate’s Godmode The Elite Playboy Tactics is one of the best products on how to improve your love life.
The tactics you will learn here can be applied in new city, can be applied via dating apps, and much more.
The course is wonderful addition to PhD Program by his brother Andrew Tate.
To get Tristan Tate - Tristan Tate’s Godmode The Elite Playboy Tactics contact me on:
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2023.04.02 13:33 AdamsText ReProgram Yourself Effectively With Journaling: In Detail With Practical Examples
In my previous post, I talked about how you can program yourself - change your ingrained perspective and beliefs - through journaling.
I'm glad many people liked it, but now I want to share some examples of what I personally do to help you do it how I do it.
(Last Post in this subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/productivity/comments/123ll6e/how_6_years_of_journaling_affected_my_life/)
(I wrote new comments if you're interested.)
It's important to note that these are just things that work for me. It's like dancing, but the dance is tailored to my body and taste. Everyone's body is different, and they may have different preferences, although there may be similarities.
I want to encourage you to experiment and find what works for you.
I've tried to explain in this post as clear as possible with examples and metaphores how the subconscious mind works and what are perspectives, and how can you use it not only in productivity, but in every way in your life.
This is an extremely useful tool for self-improvement. It is real.
As people age, they can become increasingly negative if they're not emotionally strong enough. Hobbies, sports, art, and books can help overcome negative perspectives.
But with journaling, you can directly and consciously rewrite negative beliefs effectively.
(This is why it's dangerous for young people to watch low-quality hating content, because it repeats in the subconscious and they pick up that behavior pattern.)
The subconscious is an echo, a machine that repeats your thoughts.
If you are nervous for a long time, you need to consciously think calming thoughts for a long time so that the calm echo is stronger than the nervousness' echo.
You automatically say a swear word every time, then you can change it by realizing before you say it: "Oh, I would swear! I'll say something else now!" At first, you may not have had the energy to do this because it happened so quickly - you were on autopilot - so you could only say afterwards to make yourself conscious - "Oops, I swore!"
When you are able to stop the impulse and say a new word instead of swearing, you are actually rewriting your behaviour. Very simple. This is what programming means - you are rewriting the way you talk, think, behave.
You need to do this with all of your negative perspectives and habits.
1. Get conscious of the bad behaviour / negative thought
2. Stop the before the impulse (or remind you after the impulse happened, what you should have done instead)
3. Act differently / think something neutral or positive, or continue the negative into positive (ex: I am not productive... But I am doing my best, and I'm getting better.)
4. Repeat until it becomes unconscious! Then the reprograming is done, and the new program is "running!"
To be effective, it's good to understand the source of your feelings and explore your entire inner world.
Do you know what to do from that? If a person wants to go on a date and only lists what they DON'T want, do you know what they want? What would make them happiest, what they are attracted to? Because we only know what they don't want.
This is very important in understanding your subconscious.
Writing neutrally is good for people who are really low on life. It's easer to decrease negativity and suffering, instead of changing your life to positive. But if you are able, thinking about what you CAN do to see things in positive perspective, do it.
Journaling is a practice that allows you to concentrate on creating this picture for yourself.
When a child is learning, they don't get motivated by listing their mistakes and what they got wrong on their test.
But if you tell them what can be better, what could be done differently, what's more accurate, then you give them a positive direction.
At this time, you're either half-asleep or still in a malleable state of mind, and journaling can have an impact on your whole day. Your mind is easier to program this time.
I check in with myself. What am I feeling? What am I afraid of? What is causing discomfort? What are my tasks for the day?
With practice, you can identify these feelings more accurately. The task after is to write about the opposite - how will you handle this situation? What will you do to overcome this fear?
It's like going to the gym, once you stop, slowly you get weaker, so you need to repeat.
I'm in the morning, I take out my journal and write what I feel. It's mostly automatic for me now, as I've done it so much, but I'll describe it in more detail like I used to do with many questions.
I'm afraid to start the day. There's so much to do, and it's so hard. I don't feel like it.
Why don't I feel like it? What's so hard?
This is the moment of transformation.
It could be my problem every day for long days - I just don't feel like doing anything.
At times like these, I don't just write a paragraph in my journal about it, but a proper article for myself. I call them Texts To Self. In these, I fully analyze my mind, my way of thinking, and reality.
What am I afraid of?
Going to work because my colleagues are negative and blame me when things go wrong.
Why am I afraid of this?
Because it makes me feel bad.
Why do I feel bad when someone says something negative to me? (I will write it again to see it from outside perspective)
Because I feel what they say is true.
Why, what is the evidence for this?
Because I messed up something last time.
And haven't others messed up anything? (expanding perspective, comparing to others)
Haven't you done good things as well? (thinking about the good instead of only the bad)
Don't you deserve praise for that, not just blame for the bad? (questioning the environment's logic)
Why would you deserve to feel bad if you make a mistake? (questioning fundamental beliefs)
Don't you deserve guidance that helps and motivates you? Wouldn't you work more carefully then? (questioning the envrionment, if they truly wanted me to do better why aren't they helping?)
Others have messed up a lot of things around me, even more than me. And I have fixed many things for them, but I never blamed them. When I do something good, they don't even mention it or say anything, they just scold me like a child. But I want to work well, and they don't help, so they can't expect this from me, and I don't deserve to feel shameful or guilty, because my intentions are good. They are just worsening the situation.
Then why do you feel bad?
I don't know.
When you reach the point of realizing that you don't even understand why you feel an irrational emotion, you are on the right track.
If you do it well, your negative emotions will surprisingly fade away.
(But this could also mean, you need to think more, ask other type of questions and go deeper)
I've gone through big personality changes these times when I was a teen, because I realized that everything I thought is just an assumption, yet my subconscious mind accepted it as true. So I felt wrong, even when I didn't need to at all!
Imagine how many people feel bad even when it's completely irrational!
And how many people is angry at others, and hurting them instead of giving a helping hand to cooperativly reach the common goal.
For example, let's say you didn't do well on a school assignment. You may feel like it's a catastrophe, but instead of focusing on the negative, you can say to yourself:
Cognitive distortions tend to magnify small, everyday issues and make them negative. By balancing them out with a positive or neutral perspective, you can see things more healthily.
Stoic books can especially be helpful to look things from another perspective.
I read Seneca's and Epictetus' writing many times.
You're capable of doing this, and as you practice, your positive perspective will grow in your daily life.
We don't want the false empty positivity. We don't want to lie to ourselves how good everything is and ignoring the bad. It's about understand that the bad actually shows us something good we can use. Always stay realistical and practical.
- There are no mistakes, only progress and learning.
- Atleast I am producing something, instead of zero.
- Action takers get results, the one who overthinks don't.
I wrote texts like this to myself every day to finally let go of unproductive perspective and start doing what I want to do. Of course, there are many others, on different topics, but I chose this one for now.
Motivational videos only give you a good mood, strength, and a positive outlook on life. They can help, but it's like reading a general psychology text instead of having a personal session with a psychologist who focuses on you.
It was great to see that so many people like it and that it helped! :)
I'm thinking about writing a template you can download with organized and concentrated questions.
Ask freely, I try to answer in the comments or with a new post, with some delay.
submitted by AdamsText to productivity [link] [comments]
I'm glad many people liked it, but now I want to share some examples of what I personally do to help you do it how I do it.
(Last Post in this subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/productivity/comments/123ll6e/how_6_years_of_journaling_affected_my_life/)
(I wrote new comments if you're interested.)
It's important to note that these are just things that work for me. It's like dancing, but the dance is tailored to my body and taste. Everyone's body is different, and they may have different preferences, although there may be similarities.
I want to encourage you to experiment and find what works for you.
I've tried to explain in this post as clear as possible with examples and metaphores how the subconscious mind works and what are perspectives, and how can you use it not only in productivity, but in every way in your life.
This is an extremely useful tool for self-improvement. It is real.
I pay attention to the negative and unpleasant feeling within me, and make myself conscious of it.
I'm very aware when I don't feel good. I never ignore this feeling. Our emotions won't disappear if we don't deal with them, they'll just fade into the background.As people age, they can become increasingly negative if they're not emotionally strong enough. Hobbies, sports, art, and books can help overcome negative perspectives.
But with journaling, you can directly and consciously rewrite negative beliefs effectively.
Understanding the subconscious is important before "programming".
Imagine your subconscious as an echo. Have you ever been to a concert all day, and when you got home it was quiet, but the music continued to play in your head? Or, like me, when working in a call center and having to repeat a sentence, it kept repeating in my head by the end of the day.(This is why it's dangerous for young people to watch low-quality hating content, because it repeats in the subconscious and they pick up that behavior pattern.)
The subconscious is an echo, a machine that repeats your thoughts.
If you are nervous for a long time, you need to consciously think calming thoughts for a long time so that the calm echo is stronger than the nervousness' echo.
An example of deprogramming: how to stop swearing.
Have you ever had to stop swearing, for example?You automatically say a swear word every time, then you can change it by realizing before you say it: "Oh, I would swear! I'll say something else now!" At first, you may not have had the energy to do this because it happened so quickly - you were on autopilot - so you could only say afterwards to make yourself conscious - "Oops, I swore!"
When you are able to stop the impulse and say a new word instead of swearing, you are actually rewriting your behaviour. Very simple. This is what programming means - you are rewriting the way you talk, think, behave.
You need to do this with all of your negative perspectives and habits.
1. Get conscious of the bad behaviour / negative thought
2. Stop the before the impulse (or remind you after the impulse happened, what you should have done instead)
3. Act differently / think something neutral or positive, or continue the negative into positive (ex: I am not productive... But I am doing my best, and I'm getting better.)
4. Repeat until it becomes unconscious! Then the reprograming is done, and the new program is "running!"
To be effective, it's good to understand the source of your feelings and explore your entire inner world.
By writing a journal, you can become conscious of your negative perspective more easily. But if you don't paint a positive/neutral image, your programming will be less effective.
Imagine that your mother scolds you, telling you not to do this or that. She tells you what NOT to do, what's bad about it.Do you know what to do from that? If a person wants to go on a date and only lists what they DON'T want, do you know what they want? What would make them happiest, what they are attracted to? Because we only know what they don't want.
This is very important in understanding your subconscious.
Your subconscious mind has the opportunity to orient itself towards that positive goal if you write a neutral/positive perspective.
Imagine waking up and being reminded about the things you hate but you must do. If you only think about those, you'll sure hate you life and just repeat, because the same path is presented to you to live your life.Writing neutrally is good for people who are really low on life. It's easer to decrease negativity and suffering, instead of changing your life to positive. But if you are able, thinking about what you CAN do to see things in positive perspective, do it.
Journaling is a practice that allows you to concentrate on creating this picture for yourself.
When a child is learning, they don't get motivated by listing their mistakes and what they got wrong on their test.
But if you tell them what can be better, what could be done differently, what's more accurate, then you give them a positive direction.
Lets get to the technical stuff: It's best to write in your journal in the morning and then in the evening.
I write spontaneously throughout the day because many information needs to be organized. But I always write in the morning, it helps me a lot.At this time, you're either half-asleep or still in a malleable state of mind, and journaling can have an impact on your whole day. Your mind is easier to program this time.
I check in with myself. What am I feeling? What am I afraid of? What is causing discomfort? What are my tasks for the day?
With practice, you can identify these feelings more accurately. The task after is to write about the opposite - how will you handle this situation? What will you do to overcome this fear?
Example! Laziness/afraid of work due to perfectionism - which was a big problem for me.
I'm going to give a real example of a problem in my life that sometimes resurfaces - when it does, I repeat this process. Nowadays it's never that bad anymore, but I have still things to work on.It's like going to the gym, once you stop, slowly you get weaker, so you need to repeat.
I'm in the morning, I take out my journal and write what I feel. It's mostly automatic for me now, as I've done it so much, but I'll describe it in more detail like I used to do with many questions.
I'm afraid to start the day. There's so much to do, and it's so hard. I don't feel like it.
Why don't I feel like it? What's so hard?
I have to write. And I need to tidy up... Maybe what I write won't be good enough. And I can't achieve a perfectly organized room, it would take too long. I'm just clumsy at what I'm doing and I feel incapable, producing only bad work. My body is tired and I feel like I don't get any reward from doing anything.After I write this, I switch to another state of mind. It's as if I were someone else, comforting myself. And I analyze my text.
What is the strange statement in it? What is distorted, what feels wrong? What is the perspective that is opposite to this twisted perspective?
Then I write a text with a very correct way of thinking for myself. I describe why writing is beautiful, why it's good to tidy up, why what I do is good.This is the moment of transformation.
I don't have to write. I don't have to tidy up. I can live without them. I don't have to do anything, but there will be consequences if I just lie down. Do I want to lie down forever? What kind of life would that be? Empty, meaningless. It's good for me because at least I can occupy myself with something. And it doesn't have to be perfectly tidy, or perfectly written. It's enough if I just write what's in me, and it succeeds as it does. At least I wrote something, and at least I tidied up roughly. Tomorrow I'll tidy up a little more and write again, and over time it will improve every day. The reward is that I write more refined over time, and later I can even make money from it. And the good thing about being organized is that it makes me feel organized, and I learn self-discipline from it. This strengthens what will always be with me: my character. So, my task for today is: tidying up for 1 hour and writing 3 articles. Then I can rest: walk, talk with my friends. So I am improving today too!Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius also wrote a book where he similarly "comforted" and motivated himself. It can be called a form of meditation.
It could be my problem every day for long days - I just don't feel like doing anything.
At times like these, I don't just write a paragraph in my journal about it, but a proper article for myself. I call them Texts To Self. In these, I fully analyze my mind, my way of thinking, and reality.
A tip for beginners: go deeper on what you feel, why, where does it come from, and why do you think its true?
I analyzed myself this way for years when I was in my teens. This made me be aware of everything in myself.What am I afraid of?
Going to work because my colleagues are negative and blame me when things go wrong.
Why am I afraid of this?
Because it makes me feel bad.
Why do I feel bad when someone says something negative to me? (I will write it again to see it from outside perspective)
Because I feel what they say is true.
Why, what is the evidence for this?
Because I messed up something last time.
And haven't others messed up anything? (expanding perspective, comparing to others)
Haven't you done good things as well? (thinking about the good instead of only the bad)
Don't you deserve praise for that, not just blame for the bad? (questioning the environment's logic)
Why would you deserve to feel bad if you make a mistake? (questioning fundamental beliefs)
Don't you deserve guidance that helps and motivates you? Wouldn't you work more carefully then? (questioning the envrionment, if they truly wanted me to do better why aren't they helping?)
Others have messed up a lot of things around me, even more than me. And I have fixed many things for them, but I never blamed them. When I do something good, they don't even mention it or say anything, they just scold me like a child. But I want to work well, and they don't help, so they can't expect this from me, and I don't deserve to feel shameful or guilty, because my intentions are good. They are just worsening the situation.
Then why do you feel bad?
I don't know.
When you reach the point of realizing that you don't even understand why you feel an irrational emotion, you are on the right track.
If you do it well, your negative emotions will surprisingly fade away.
(But this could also mean, you need to think more, ask other type of questions and go deeper)
Yes, I mean it seriously - if you do it enough and well enough, you will REALLY realize that it is unreasonable for you to feel bad. I've done this for years, everyday literally analyzing all of my thoughts when I could.When I didn't have a journal with me, I just did this in my head.
I've gone through big personality changes these times when I was a teen, because I realized that everything I thought is just an assumption, yet my subconscious mind accepted it as true. So I felt wrong, even when I didn't need to at all!
Imagine how many people feel bad even when it's completely irrational!
And how many people is angry at others, and hurting them instead of giving a helping hand to cooperativly reach the common goal.
Example to reorder to neutrality a negative distorted perspective:
It's not always easy to see things from a positive perspective, especially in challenging situations. In these cases, try to make your negative perspective neutral instead.For example, let's say you didn't do well on a school assignment. You may feel like it's a catastrophe, but instead of focusing on the negative, you can say to yourself:
It's just words on paper, nothing is actually happening to me. I can't predict how bad my future will be, and it's just my imagination. In the past, I've worried about terrible things that never happened, so maybe this situation isn't as bad as I think it is.Or if you're thinking about past mistakes, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes. Think about how common it is and provide many examples from real life.
Cognitive distortions tend to magnify small, everyday issues and make them negative. By balancing them out with a positive or neutral perspective, you can see things more healthily.
Negative mental images can be challenging obstacles, but by transforming them, it becomes easier to get up, complete tasks, and achieve your goals.
If someone has humiliated you, try to think objectively about the situation and write down your thoughts. For example:Someone said negative things to me. This is their perspective, and others may not agree with it. If more people knew me well, they would likely understand me better. Just because someone has an opinion doesn't mean it's an objective reality.Apply this approach to many aspects of your life.
Stoic books can especially be helpful to look things from another perspective.
I read Seneca's and Epictetus' writing many times.
A positive perspective is one in which you focus on the benefits of what you're doing and what happened to you, how can you take advantage.
For example, if you're a designer working every day and afraid if you won't land a job and it might be a waste of time, think:Eventually someone will like your work and hire you for a good position. This is statistically likely. If it doesn't happen, then you can try something else, such as updating your portfolio, watching videos, talking with others about what works. You are always improving your chances with these.This way you don't remain in your negative static state. You think about the new things you are doing to go forward.
If you feel hurt, you have a chance to learn to emotionally balance yourself. If you got beaten, life is reminding you: you should learn kung-fu to protect yourself. If something is going negatively in your life, it means, you need to bring awareness there and more positive change.These projects a pattern that suggests that negative situations can be improved, and even turned into positives.
You're capable of doing this, and as you practice, your positive perspective will grow in your daily life.
We don't want the false empty positivity. We don't want to lie to ourselves how good everything is and ignoring the bad. It's about understand that the bad actually shows us something good we can use. Always stay realistical and practical.
Another example for journaling-reprogramming-meditation from me: about perfectionism.
There have been times when I have delved into what perfectionism means to me. What I feel, how I see it. Here is a text I wrote to myself, just to show you my practice.Perfectionism is actually hindering. Those who take action will go much further than those who plan endlessly without doing anything, trying to be perfect. What are the consequences if something is not perfect? Nothing. Some people will like it, some won't. But this will always be the case, no matter how perfectly you do it. But at least you are doing something. You make progress day by day and you are learning. It's better to go and work out for ten minutes every day and get used to it, rather than just planning to work out and not doing anything. If I think about it, I won't do it, and nothing will happen. If I do it, I am learning and it can be enjoyable. If I do it, there is progress, no matter how flawed it may be. If I want to be truly perfect, I have to accept that what I am doing is imperfect. Do it without thinking, do it before you're ready.I write articles for myself while thinking about quotes, example:
- There are no mistakes, only progress and learning.
- Atleast I am producing something, instead of zero.
- Action takers get results, the one who overthinks don't.
I wrote texts like this to myself every day to finally let go of unproductive perspective and start doing what I want to do. Of course, there are many others, on different topics, but I chose this one for now.
Better than motivational videos. This is active change in your thinking, not a passive momentary motivation.
Motivational videos provide a positive perspective, but it doesn't stick and you don't internalize it. However, with journaling and repetition, you do. It's personalized to you, and you can rewrite your negative perspectives with it.Motivational videos only give you a good mood, strength, and a positive outlook on life. They can help, but it's like reading a general psychology text instead of having a personal session with a psychologist who focuses on you.
Feedback, Questions
Thank you all for writing comments, sharing my post and asking questions. This is the first time I started posting my thoughts on these topics and what I do in my personal life.It was great to see that so many people like it and that it helped! :)
I'm thinking about writing a template you can download with organized and concentrated questions.
Ask freely, I try to answer in the comments or with a new post, with some delay.
2023.04.02 13:33 neigh_b0ther Clovercraft [semi-vanilla] [smp] {1.19.3} {18+} {whitelisted}
Clovercraft is a SFW adult (18+) community for anyone who enjoys building and exploring Java Minecraft. We have an active and international user base and strive to be welcoming to people of all backgrounds. Harassment or hate speech of any type is not allowed. We have a zero-tolerance policy.
Season 4 of Clovercraft dropped with 1.19.3 just over one month ago! This has the most player influence of any of our seasons yet. Rather than staff cities, players can band together and create their own settlements with progression rewards.
Furthermore, we've added a challenge to the game. Rather than people being fully equipt and enchanted in the first 24 hours, you can earn aspects of the Minecraft experience (enchantments, the Nether, the End, etc.) through quests. Our first Main Story Quest's goal to unlock enchanting was met in under 48 hours. Word on the street is a new quest is on its way...
If you're interested in joining, head on over to our Discord! We ask all members to specify their pronouns and exact age (you must be 18+) as part of our member introductions and whitelisting process.
Community Highlights:
submitted by neigh_b0ther to mcservers [link] [comments]
Season 4 of Clovercraft dropped with 1.19.3 just over one month ago! This has the most player influence of any of our seasons yet. Rather than staff cities, players can band together and create their own settlements with progression rewards.
Furthermore, we've added a challenge to the game. Rather than people being fully equipt and enchanted in the first 24 hours, you can earn aspects of the Minecraft experience (enchantments, the Nether, the End, etc.) through quests. Our first Main Story Quest's goal to unlock enchanting was met in under 48 hours. Word on the street is a new quest is on its way...
If you're interested in joining, head on over to our Discord! We ask all members to specify their pronouns and exact age (you must be 18+) as part of our member introductions and whitelisting process.
Community Highlights:
- Active and welcoming Discord community, full of diverse members from across the globe.
- LGBTQ+ friendly community, with staff striving for a comfortable environment for all.
- Regular Discord events, including games nights, film nights, podcast nights, and a book club!
- Monthly SMP events ranging from lore-based story events to free-form mini-games.
- Ongoing SMP Quests which encourage server exploration and challenge even the most well-equipped players.
- A Third-Life campaign on a separate dedicated server.
- Easy-to-read wiki to help you get started!
- Discord bot games with premium MEE6.
- A Patreon subscription program that helps you gain cool extras while helping support the server's running costs.
- A server that has (kinda) been endorsed by a real Timelord.
- An in-game economy that allows access to player-owned / Admin villager shops for selling goods.
- NPCs give quests that can help you make money.
- A settlement levelling system - player run, with progression goals.
- Quest-gated world progression.
- Villager trading modifications.
- Teleportation and warps.
- Five homes to enable faster navigation.
- Minecraft version updates as they come out.
- Multiplayer sleep night-skip.
- Land claims and trust permissions to protect your builds.
- Anti-griefing and anti-x-ray tools.
- Custom cosmetic items are available to all members.
- (Optional) proximity voice chat.
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