17602 n black canyon hwy
SoCal Climbing
2017.01.25 08:32 dpotter05 SoCal Climbing
2023.04.02 15:12 Franzrote Priming minis in the southern US is a challenge...
 | submitted by Franzrote to Grimdank [link] [comments] |
2023.04.02 15:05 thewife2 I'm just so confused
This is long. If anyone makes it though im so greatful youre here with me. This happened awhile ago but I still very much deal with it today.
Some back story: The last blowout I(35f) had with my (55)mom resulted in my going low contact with my mom and 2 adult (33m and 29m) brothers. This was 2020 so we were all a couple of years younger. I've remained low contact since and ended up finding a video on YouTube at the end of 2022 about nmoms and their daughters that put me through a rabbit hole of realization that my mom is probably a narc. I found this thread and have been struggling so hard to decide if she's really a narc or if im just the black sheep and I should go NC. I started therapy during the pandemic as well and she seems really threatened by this.
I have always been told family business is family business and I have kept this all in my whole life. My mom mostly worked and I was her "partner in life" who helped "raise" my younger brothers (4 of them). This always set me apart from my siblings. To this day they sort of seem to view me as "other" or some hybrid parent.
Anyway during the pandemic I started therapy over postpartum anxiety that helped uncover alot of childhood stuff I have to work through. But this only made me want to reconnect with my siblings and I reached out to the 2 oldest. My two younger siblings are minors and both lived with mom in a different state. I invited both adult brothers and their families to my house for Thanksgiving. My mom was a thousand miles away and we hadn't had a family gathering in several years.
Being the pandemic, I asked for brothers, their significant others and theirs children only. My 33m brother and his wife live 4 hours away with their 3 children. 8 hours back and forth would have been too much for them and their kids. It was a discussion with my husband and I because everyone was still so scared and social distancing.
However I have 1 guest room and asked them to stay. My guest room is on the other side of the house. I cleaned and sanitized and kept my toddler on our side of the house and my brother and his kids and wife stayed on the other end. They drove in the day before Thanksgiving and planned to leave after dinner on Thanksgiving.
My other brother 29m and his girlfriend live an hour away and I asked them to come on Thanksgiving, at 3pm before dinner. He had been on and off with drugs and even though we had taken him in in yhe past, at this point he was in and out of a shelter and staying on couches.
29m brother showed up at my house the night before thanksgiving at 10pm . He just showed up. He never reached out to my husband or me. He texted 33m and asked him to come outside... he was outside and wanted to smoke a joint with my 33m brother. My 33m brother told me. I was really frustrated because I felt it was rude and i was offended. I asked 33m if he would be going out to meet 29m and he said "no I don't know why he didn't wait for tomorrow". I agreed and stated that it was also concerning he wanted to share a joint during the pandemic. I asked 29m to please come back at 3pm the next day. That we would love to have him but we didn't have any more space for more overnight guests. He (29m) said it was unfair that one brother could stay and he couldn't. I explained that the 8hr back and forth drive would have been too hard for the kids and that's why they were staying. The situation escalated and I ended up disinviting 29m. My reasoning being that my house rules during the pandemic were reasonable I held the boundary.
Following this my brother and mom got on a group call and decided how they felt about the topic. They had all decided I was wrong and they disagreed with my decision to disinvite 29m. The 3 of them basically kind of dogged me about it and I ended up really upset. I told them that I could understand their perspective but that i was only trying to keep everyone safe during the pandemic, and that the next gathering could be hosted by them and to their specifications if they liked. They told me I couldn't admit fault and my n mom seemed to reveled in the failure. She seemed so happy both of my brothers ran to her. My mom specifically led the charge and I felt so frustrated that she chose a side instead of staying neutral. We went extremely low contact after this.
I reached out to mom to make amends and I'll try to put the convo images in the caption.
Everything is so turned upside down in my head. I just wonder if anyone has thoughts.Convo
submitted by thewife2 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
Some back story: The last blowout I(35f) had with my (55)mom resulted in my going low contact with my mom and 2 adult (33m and 29m) brothers. This was 2020 so we were all a couple of years younger. I've remained low contact since and ended up finding a video on YouTube at the end of 2022 about nmoms and their daughters that put me through a rabbit hole of realization that my mom is probably a narc. I found this thread and have been struggling so hard to decide if she's really a narc or if im just the black sheep and I should go NC. I started therapy during the pandemic as well and she seems really threatened by this.
I have always been told family business is family business and I have kept this all in my whole life. My mom mostly worked and I was her "partner in life" who helped "raise" my younger brothers (4 of them). This always set me apart from my siblings. To this day they sort of seem to view me as "other" or some hybrid parent.
Anyway during the pandemic I started therapy over postpartum anxiety that helped uncover alot of childhood stuff I have to work through. But this only made me want to reconnect with my siblings and I reached out to the 2 oldest. My two younger siblings are minors and both lived with mom in a different state. I invited both adult brothers and their families to my house for Thanksgiving. My mom was a thousand miles away and we hadn't had a family gathering in several years.
Being the pandemic, I asked for brothers, their significant others and theirs children only. My 33m brother and his wife live 4 hours away with their 3 children. 8 hours back and forth would have been too much for them and their kids. It was a discussion with my husband and I because everyone was still so scared and social distancing.
However I have 1 guest room and asked them to stay. My guest room is on the other side of the house. I cleaned and sanitized and kept my toddler on our side of the house and my brother and his kids and wife stayed on the other end. They drove in the day before Thanksgiving and planned to leave after dinner on Thanksgiving.
My other brother 29m and his girlfriend live an hour away and I asked them to come on Thanksgiving, at 3pm before dinner. He had been on and off with drugs and even though we had taken him in in yhe past, at this point he was in and out of a shelter and staying on couches.
29m brother showed up at my house the night before thanksgiving at 10pm . He just showed up. He never reached out to my husband or me. He texted 33m and asked him to come outside... he was outside and wanted to smoke a joint with my 33m brother. My 33m brother told me. I was really frustrated because I felt it was rude and i was offended. I asked 33m if he would be going out to meet 29m and he said "no I don't know why he didn't wait for tomorrow". I agreed and stated that it was also concerning he wanted to share a joint during the pandemic. I asked 29m to please come back at 3pm the next day. That we would love to have him but we didn't have any more space for more overnight guests. He (29m) said it was unfair that one brother could stay and he couldn't. I explained that the 8hr back and forth drive would have been too hard for the kids and that's why they were staying. The situation escalated and I ended up disinviting 29m. My reasoning being that my house rules during the pandemic were reasonable I held the boundary.
Following this my brother and mom got on a group call and decided how they felt about the topic. They had all decided I was wrong and they disagreed with my decision to disinvite 29m. The 3 of them basically kind of dogged me about it and I ended up really upset. I told them that I could understand their perspective but that i was only trying to keep everyone safe during the pandemic, and that the next gathering could be hosted by them and to their specifications if they liked. They told me I couldn't admit fault and my n mom seemed to reveled in the failure. She seemed so happy both of my brothers ran to her. My mom specifically led the charge and I felt so frustrated that she chose a side instead of staying neutral. We went extremely low contact after this.
I reached out to mom to make amends and I'll try to put the convo images in the caption.
Everything is so turned upside down in my head. I just wonder if anyone has thoughts.Convo
2023.04.02 15:05 Go7ham This should be always red. It’s hard to see when it’s white.
submitted by Go7ham to AppleMusic [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 14:56 Bus6y Two Black Ass n 1 White Cock
 | submitted by Bus6y to Tiny98361 [link] [comments] |
2023.04.02 14:52 v2truth Remember this weirdo got flew out to Texas to hookup with ice Poseidon..the same one who was calling his black friends N*****..then yuriy came back and DEFENDED Ice Poseidon while sitting directly next to potlord…
 | submitted by v2truth to NoJumperV2 [link] [comments] |
2023.04.02 14:51 Srpsp11692 [WTS] DD Black MLOK Furniture Set and DD Grip n Rip CH $60-105
https://imgur.com/a/rPBmDl6
I have a DD Black MLOK Furniture Kit and an unfired DD Grip N Rip CH (removed from a factory upper I bought).
Looking for $60 shipped on the CH and $105 shipped on the furniture set.
Take them both for $160
These will ship on Tuesday when I am back home.
Pp F&F or Zelle only
submitted by Srpsp11692 to GunAccessoriesForSale [link] [comments]
I have a DD Black MLOK Furniture Kit and an unfired DD Grip N Rip CH (removed from a factory upper I bought).
Looking for $60 shipped on the CH and $105 shipped on the furniture set.
Take them both for $160
These will ship on Tuesday when I am back home.
Pp F&F or Zelle only
2023.04.02 14:30 xXKikitoXx I really need to up my anxiety meds. (Bk2 - 3.5)
PREVIOUS
‘Tick, tick, tick, tick-’
“Stop it.” I said quietly under my breath.
‘-tick, tick, tick-’ Ronové was repeating the sound in time with the pendulum swinging on the clock across the room and it was slowly driving me insane.
“Why are you doing that?”
‘Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick-’
“Shut up!” I shouted finally and at least three sets of unnatural eyes turned to me, “Sorry, voices.”
“You’re possessed?” It was a fairy named Baltzar who asked.
“A little bit.”
“That does explain the witch’s magic.”
‘Tick, tick, tick…’
“What? Oh yeah. It would be nicer if he was helpful though.” I joked, sometimes it was difficult to separate what Ron was thinking to me from what other people were saying. He didn’t answer me then, he was doing something, I won’t pretend to know what.
“Well?” Eric asked tensely, though his expression was perfectly neutral. Actually, I hadn’t seen any flicker of emotion at all in days.
He stood beside Nathaniel’s hospital bed with his arms folded, watching every move Baltzar made with scrutiny. His arm was coated in magic all the way to his collarbone, and his hair was combed back so that his right eye was clearly visible. I had seen him be relaxed about hiding his abnormalities when we were at home. But this was different, it was more like he was displaying them as a warning.
“He’s doing well. His vitals are stable, the salt is largely flushed from his system and his internal energy is reaching an equilibrium.”
“When will he wake.”
Baltzar shrugged, “How should I know? He will wake when his body has the energy to do so.”
Nathaniel was the only one that hadn’t regained consciousness. Calla was the first. I had found her lying in the street and the injury on her side was… Well, I’ve seen roadkill that looked better. Her dress was dirty and torn, and blood pooled around her. I didn’t think she was going to make it.
I pressed my hand firmly on the wound to stem the bleeding but her blood was so slick that I slipped more than once and it welled up between my fingers. ‘She’s not going to make it.’ Ronové commented casually echoing my thoughts, he sounded amused.
“Shut up.” I hissed. I didn’t want to hear anything from Ron at that point. Calla coughed as she tried to talk, blood dribbled out her mouth but whatever she said was inaudible. I think she knew that because she tried again.
“Wh–’s… E..ric?” It still took me a moment to understand.
Around us was chaos and I couldn’t see Eric anywhere, it was like a war zone. A haze of smoke filled the air, making it even harder to see anything. The only light came from freely burning fires and bright fairy magic. Ash fell from the sky like snow once the rain had let up, and to make matters worse it was bitterly cold, I don't know how no one else seemed to realize that.
Achaicus was fighting Lazarus and each blast of energy broke part of the castle, sending clouds of dust and rubble in all directions. It was all I could do to keep Calla somewhat protected from it. I didn’t know what I would do if they came in our direction. The fear in that thought nearly sent me into a panic attack.
“I don’t know where he is, but I'm sure he’s fine.” I tried to soothe her, she was so pale and her eyes slowly closed. “Calla no. You have to stay awake, can you do that for me?”
I patted her cheek gently to force her to open her eyes again and she did for a moment, “Okay, good, that’s good you’re doing great. Just breathe through it.” Was I talking her out of dying? Or coaching her through birth? Truthfully I didn’t know what to say, everything sounded dumb to me.
A shock wave of magic deflected off a sword shattered the windows above us and I did my best to cover her from the falling glass. It was terrifying being on the ground while monsters fought. I had never seen anything quite alike to it. I was definitely going to need to up the dosage on my anxiety meds after this.
I could almost feel Calla’s life slipping away when suddenly someone was beside me, pushing my hands away and replacing them with their own magic hands. “You’ve done well, let me.” It took a solid moment before I understood, it was a ghoul…
Gratefully I let her take over, when I stood I was shaking so bad that my legs felt like jelly. Calla’s blood soaked my shirt and pants, she had lost so much. But, magic can fix that right? I didn’t know. I couldn’t really think.
It was only by chance that I saw Eric, he was pushing his way out of a pile of rubble. It must’ve fallen on him during the fight and I thought he might be hurt so I moved right away to help him.
“I thought you were dead somewhere.” The relief I felt was immeasurable as I assisted him out.
“I’m fine, what about Calla?” He dismissed my concern. His hair and clothes were coated in dust. His right eye was nothing more than an empty socket, his nails were all blackened and his good eye seemed unusually blue. I hadn’t seen him without his monster arm and eye before and I’m ashamed to say I recoiled with the shock of it.
“Charles, focus, tell me about Calla?” he demanded firmly as I fell back on my haunches.
“She, she’s, a ghoul is-”
“And Nathaniel?” He cut me off before I could finish explaining.
“I don’t know he was-” Eric was gone before I could complete the sentence. Apparently he wasn’t injured at all.
After that everything was mostly a blur and I think I might have passed out because when I woke up I was laying on a hospital bed in the infirmary. Calla was in the bed beside mine, and Nathaniel was on the other side of her. Eric was sitting between the two with his cane across his lap and a sword resting close by, ready to be used at any moment.
Now let me tell you, fairy hospitals are weird, well, ‘outdated’ I suppose is a more appropriate term. It’s a wide space with tall timber framed windows along one side, and elaborate landscape paintings decorating the other. Small tables with flower vases ran down the center and there was very little medical equipment. There were no partitions between areas and metal beds with simple linens lined either side of the room in neat rows.
It was a surprisingly cold, sterile place considering the amount of light that shone in. I’m not really sure what I expected. Our beds were on the window side, while Markos was on the other side opposite them. My sister of course sat with him. She had dragged over an empty bed so that she could lay close to him.
There weren’t all that many people in the room, there was a ghoul, Hanta, standing beside the door and Eric looked over when I sat up.
“Good afternoon, Charles,” he commented. He hadn’t recovered fully at that point and the fae magic on his arm was only up to his forearm. But I noticed his fingernails were no longer black and his right eye was restored.
“Afternoon? How long was I out?”
“Only a few hours.” He assured, “How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been hit by a bus, how’s everyone else?”
“They will be alright.”
“Ahh that’s a relief-” I began but Eric cut me off abruptly.
“You disobeyed me.”
The way he looked at me seemed cold, and the complete lack of emotion in his voice made me feel like I was in trouble, “Yeah… I’m sorry about that.”
“You used a magic I warned you not to, and almost got yourself, and Nathaniel, killed. It would have been unforgivable if you had and I don’t take kindly to what I’m saying being blatantly disregarded. Do you understand?”
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to-” I had no good answer for him. He was angry in a way that burned cold and I knew it.
“You should be sorry. You’re important and irreplaceable.” he said it so calmly I wasn’t sure if he meant it, “...and, you saved Calla’s life. If you weren’t there she would have bled out. So I will forgive you, only this one time.”
I understood then that he was scared. I had scared him by putting myself in harms way, and this was his way of telling me.
“It won’t happen again...” I assured softly.
“...Thank you.”
I smiled and it was as I was about to make a terribly lame joke that Calla moved. She winced slightly as she tried to sit up but Eric was quick to stop her. “Don’t move too fast.”
“Where are we..?”
“The infirmary, still at Leúchtend.”
“We won?”
“Yes, Achaicus beat Lazarus.”
She paused for a moment processing, “...Markos?”
“He’ll be fine.”
“And Charles?” she asked next.
“Right here.” I spoke up and she turned to look at me with wide confused eyes. It was the first time I had seen her without make-up, and I was surprised to see that her eyelashes were partially white. Was she part fairy?
“That really hurt when you pressed on my side.” She mumbled the complaint.
“Ahhh, right. Sorry about that.” I was having to apologize a lot for one day.
She reached out to take my hand, squeezing it in hers and catching me off guard, “Thank you.” These people with their monotone and lack of expression, I had no idea if she meant it or not either.
“You, I, welcome?” Good job Charles, that made no sense, I thought bitterly.
‘No kidding.’ Ron answered bored, though I ignored him.
Calla nodded like she understood regardless and turned back to Eric, “I’m so sorry…”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I wasn’t strong enough, you had to fight them on your own. I let you down… I’m useless.”
“Hardly.” he responded simply and tears began to well in her eyes. She needed more than a single word answer and it took Eric a moment to realize it before he elaborated, “Calla, you killed a dragon single handedly. There’s not one other person in this entire castle that could say that.”
“I'm sorry…”
It took Eric some effort, but he stood with his cane and moved close enough to hug her. “Don't be, you have nothing to be sorry for.”
Calla didn’t stay awake long after that, only long enough to have a small amount of food before settling in to sleep more peacefully.
***
Markos was the next to wake the following day and when he did Claire threw her arms around him without any care. Dissolving into relieved sobs. He winced but made no complaint as he slowly returned the hug, pulling her close against him as if it brought him some comfort. She murmured something in his ear and he froze.
“...I beg your pardon?” he asked quietly.
However she didn’t repeat herself, instead she slowly let go of him, holding his face in her hands, “Are you alright? How do you feel?” she asked the questions in rapid fire.
He seemed unable to comprehend what she had said, and it took a moment for him to find his voice again. “I’m okay… How are you here?” He covered one of her hands with his and closed his eyes.
“Oh well... I-”
“She insisted I bring her.” Ávila mused as she entered the room and sat heavily on the edge of Markos’s bed and his eyes snapped open. For a moment he looked feral, like a startled cat, then his expression settled into a hard glare.
“It’s dangerous for her to be here.”
“She’s fine. Can’t lift a sword though.”
“They’re heavy.” Claire agreed, looking apologetic.
“What happened to Lazarus?”
“Achaicus beat him in combat and he is currently imprisoned under guard.”
“How many guards? Is he weakened? Is there salt?” He asked, gradually getting more irritated as he tried to get out of the bed.
“Relax, broken man. Everything is under control. Lazarus is well guarded.”
“And then who is protecting Dunkel if you’re here?” He growled, still annoyed.
“Tougo is at Dunkel and Achaicus is in control here. No one is going to attack anyone. And if they do, they’ll regret it.”
He didn’t seem satisfied with her answers, but Claire urging him to lay back down subdued him as Ávila continued to chatter away. I won’t pretend to understand how fairy magic and healing works, but apparently broken bones would only take a few days to mend. Not that he seemed pleased with even that, he was up and walking by the next day, despite Claire insisting he rest.
***
Days passed and Eric rarely left the room. The longest he was gone was only a few hours and that was only when Ávila agreed to stay in his place. There was a ghoul on guard at the door at all times and Achaicus visited regularly.
He sat beside Nathaniel on the opposite side of Eric and the pair of them waited for hours at a time in silence.
“Achaicus,” It was a female fairy who spoke, not anyone I knew, and two others accompanied her. It was regular that someone would come looking for him with some request or another, and he would often reluctantly leave. “The repair team are having trouble matching the mortar color to the original. They would like to know which alternative color you would prefer-”
“Get out.” Eric said calmly.
“But I-”
“Don't make me repeat myself. If the matter isn’t urgent, don’t interrupt.”
The woman looked unsure, her bright yellow eyes flicking to Achaicus for confirmation. “Pick whatever color is closest to the original.”
“Of course my lord.” She bowed appreciatively before leaving.
“You don’t have to answer their stupid questions.” Eric told him annoyed.
“I do…”
“No, you don’t.”
“I’m the leader, it’s my job now to handle any issues that arise.”
“Get Molly to deal with it.”
“If you would allow her into the room, perhaps I could.”
“With her gift? I think not.” he muttered as he got up and limped away to speak with someone at the doors. I couldn’t hear what was said, but I was sure he was barring anyone else from entering unless it was life or death.
“I see your attitude problem never went away.” Achaicus muttered, though he seemed grateful despite his words.
“I heard that.” Eric commented, lightly tugging on his hair on the way past when he returned.
“Don’t pull my hair.”
“I’ll do what I like.”
“Then I’ll have you thrown into the dungeons.”
“Please.” Eric snorted, they were surprisingly amicable, in a hostile kind of way.
“I don’t know how Nathaniel stands you.”
“Same way you do.”
“With a knife to the eye?”
“Careful, I’m sure you remember what happened last time you commented on my eyes.”
Achaicus looked shocked, his ears heating with embarrassment. It was clear Eric had mentioned something they weren’t supposed to talk about and it took him a full moment to process before he could respond, “I was drunk!”
“So was I.”
“I can’t leave you two alone for a second can I?” Nathaniel asked softly and they both paused.
“Brother…” Achaicus murmured, turning his full attention to Nathaniel and hugging him tightly, “Finally…”
“You’re still in bandages, how long has it been?” He returned the hug gently patting his brother’s hair to soothe him.
“Never mind about me.”
“It’s been four days.” Eric answered for him.
“And… Our father?”
“Securely locked up.” Achaicus assured as he slowly let go, “But you, you look awful. And you need to cut your hair, it’s getting too long.”
“Like you’re one to talk.”
Achaicus chuckled, “I’m glad you’re awake…”
“I didn’t expect to be.” he answered honestly.
“Don’t say things like that.” Eric scolded him and he looked apologetic.
“Were you hurt?”
“He had not a scratch on him.” Achaicus answered before Eric could.
“...I’m so glad…”
“Yeah, okay, why don’t you worry about yourself?” Eric grumbled uncomfortably.
For a moment it looked like Nathaniel was going to question him further however a commotion at the door drew their attention.
“I-I was told n-not to let anyone in..”
“Nonsense, I’m their mother.”
“It’s fine Hanta,” Eric called casually, and the woman quickly sidestepped him.
She was slender with no curves, and surprisingly young. It looked like she was in her 30’s at most and I chose not to even try and work out the math on that. Her hair was long and white with a red-ish hue, while her eyes were the same purple as Markos’s. She was wearing a black dress and matching gloves all the way to her elbows.
“Mother, what are you doing here?” Nathaniel asked coldly and she stopped awkwardly.
“...You’re my son’s…”
Neither answered but I recognised their expressions. It was the same one Claire and I had the one time we had accidentally ran into our parents while we were out shopping. Polite, awkward, uncertainty. Like they didn’t want to talk to her, but didn’t know how to tell her to leave.
The woman looked to Eric and he nodded slightly so she continued, “I- well… I know, I haven’t been much of a mother to you… I couldn’t protect you from your father as I should have… But I would like to remedy that… If I could… may I hug you..?”
“...No..” Nathaniel answered for them both quietly, tensely.
“Oh… I see, that’s okay… I deserve that. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. I’m glad to see you’re both okay.” Again she was met with silence as neither of her son’s answered and she shifted her weight awkwardly, “Right, well… Please come see me when you are able so that we might talk. If you want… I mean, I would like that… if you could…”
“Good day, mother.” Achaicus bid her farewell curtly, and she gave a small bow before departing.
The whole interaction made me uncomfortable, the woman was trying. That was more than Claire’s and my mother ever did. It hurt to watch and the awkward silence that followed only made it worse as the weight hung heavy in the air.
“You should speak with her.” Eric said gently.
“Since when were you on her side? And why should we? She never did anything to help us.” Nathaniel answered bitterly but Achaicus looked less sure.
Eric didn’t get the chance to respond before the doors opened and Baltzar returned with Markos. “It’s good to see you’re awake. Now you can put a muzzle on your dog, his barking was becoming tiresome.”
“Careful Baltzar, his bite is far worse than his bark.” Markos mused.
“I’m not a dog, so you had both better shut up.” Eric snapped in response.
“See, now that is exactly what I’m talking about, and I'm sure you can imagine my dismay when I learned commands don’t work on him.”
“Then I’m sure your dismay will only increase when you learn that my brother prefers not to command his pet.”
“He’s in fact extremely willful, and commands often backfire when given to him, so I prefer not to waste my efforts giving them. Now what is it that you want?”
Baltzar looked displeased while Eric’s expression didn’t change, “I came to inform Achaicus that we have been unable to locate Radomir, or Belle, and there are a handful of guards unaccounted for.”
‘Ahhh, your old friend.’ Ronové mused and I felt a chill run down my spine.
“Quiet.” I mumbled under my breath, though no one seemed to notice as they continued.
“I would suggest Radomir has likely fled to Europe with a small group, and that we should expect a visit from Ælfric.” Markos speculated casually although the notion seemed to make everyone nervous.
“I’ve already sent a letter to our grandfather, hopefully it will arrive before Radomir.” Achaicus muttered, rubbing his temples.
It was then that the doors to the infirmary were pushed open with some force. “Listen you fucking shit- Let me into this fucking room!” Killian shouted, his bright eyes were crazed with rage and it looked like he had run the entire way from wherever he had been.
“I-I really can’t, I-I’ve been given strict instructions-” Hanta looked distressed, this was the third time he had been forced to tell someone they weren’t allowed to enter and he looked more than a little flustered.
Baltzar rolled his eyes, “Calm down Killian, it’s not like we can’t hear you from the doorway, what is it?”
“Lazarus is fucking, gone!”
Achaicus and Nathaniel both tensed, while Baltzar clicked his tongue in annoyance. “What do you mean gone?!”
“I mean, his cell is fucking EMPTY.”
“That’s not possible.” Markos hissed, “I double checked his containment myself.”
“What do you think then? I’m just making this shit up!? He’s not fucking in there!”
“Well, what is in there?”
It took Killian a second to understand what he meant, “Nothing, there’s nothing. No traces of anything, no magic, no signs of a struggle, nothing, just salt. It’s like he vanished.”
“So send the guards out. I want everyone searching for him all the way to the borders of our lands.” Achaicus spoke up at last.
“Brother, I need to return to Dunkel in case he attacks the castle.” Nathaniel added.
“You don't need to do any of that, it’s pointless, and you’re in no state to travel let alone defend a castle.” Eric sighed, he was the only one who hadn’t reacted to the news in any way.
“You sound certain. How can you be sure?”
“Lazarus isn’t a concern, you need to rest…” he spoke more gently to Nathaniel and he hesitated slightly, though he said nothing more.
“What’s that mean he’s not a concern? If he attacks us now we can mark this as the shortest reign in history, or an altogether failed take over!” Baltzar sneered but Markos spoke up.
“...The Orphan is right. Lazarus has been sitting in a room with salt and received no medical attention. He’s slow and weak. He won't attack Dunkel, it’s more likely he will simply try to flee to Grosartig like Radomir and searching will waste resources. If we simply set up barrier points instead, we’ll know where he is when he crosses one.”
“You’re always just so smart aren’t you Markos?”
“It's just simple logic, Baltzar. If the orphan can come to the same conclusion, I’m sure you can too.”
“Fine, want to place a wager on when he will cross a barrier point?”
Markos smiled, “Certainly.”
***
With the new development most of them left. Although Markos was forced to stay because Claire refused to let him leave after he began bleeding through his bandages. Hanta swapped out for Yura, though she was more interested in talking to Nathaniel. Or at least she was, until Eric told her to leave so he could rest in no uncertain terms, and then he took over the watch himself when she departed.
There wasn’t really a lot to do in the meantime. I was too afraid to leave the room without someone else with me, and Ron must’ve run out of the energy to torment me so he was quiet as well. Vaguely I was aware that I was supposed to be in court, but I tried to think about other things instead of my torpedoed career.
When Calla woke up I talked with her for a while. She's a little bit hard to talk to only because she’s so similar to Eric. She doesn't hold conversation organically, answers questions minimally and her only hobbies are training and sharpening weapons. I could see why my sister doesn't like her, Claire likes people who can talk for hours and Calla was not like that.
At dusk Eric closed all the curtains and woke Nathaniel when Achaicus arrived with a trolley of food for us. Initially Molly had tried to enter the room with him, but Eric was quick to intercept her, “You’re not welcome in here. Get out.”
“I’m simply helping my master.” she responded calmly.
“I don’t care. I said get out. You know full well you are not to enter this room.”
“So snarky little orphan, what’s got you so tense?”
“Out.” he repeated, his hand moving to the sword on his hip and she smiled.
“Very well.”
“She means no harm.” Achaicus complained.
“I said she’s not allowed in and I mean it. Unless you want me to-”
“No. No. I understand.”
“Good.”
Nathaniel looked curious as did I, “I would love to know what he has over you brother~”
“It’s nothing.”
“I could command him to tell me you realize-” He stopped surprised when Eric covered his mouth with his hand.
“Command me, and I swear I’ll make you regret it. Now, shut up and eat your food.” he mused slowly letting him go once his point was made. Though Nathaniel still looked shocked as Eric came to sit beside me instead. “Don't eat the fresh meat. That’s only for the fae.”
I didn’t need him to remind me what it was.
Once dinner was over, Achaicus left and Hanta returned to guard the door. Truthfully I don’t remember falling asleep, I had been talking to Eric, then the next thing I knew I was out like a light.
I woke groggily to the sound of hushed voices, it was an ungodly hour of the morning. I couldn’t read the clock across the room but I didn’t need to. Moonlight streamed in through the only open window, it was beside Nathaniel’s bed and I guessed Eric must have opened it for him. Beside me Calla was sleeping peacefully, her soft breathing was rhythmic and soothing. Across the room my sister had dragged another bed over to Markos’s so that she could lay next to him and they were sleeping still.
At the farthest end of the room Hanta had barricaded the door with a bed and was laying down on it. I assume he too was asleep since I couldn’t see the glow of his eyes and slowly I came to realize the voices were Eric and Nathaniel speaking quietly to one another.
“Stop being so cryptic, where were you?” Nathaniel was asking, though he struggled to keep his eyes open as Eric was petting his hair, slowly lulling him into sleep.
“Can you just go back to sleep already?”
“You did get lost didn't you?” he teased and Eric looked bemused.
“No, I was there. Now hush, let’s not forget you weren’t supposed to be in that courtyard.”
“…Are you mad at me?”
“Yes.” Eric answered evenly, “You put yourself and Charles in danger. Lied to him to get him to do what you wanted. What exactly was your plan if you didn’t find Achaicus..?”
“Doesn’t matter…”
“You planned on offering yourself to him in exchange for me didn't you?”
“…It would have worked..”
“That’s not the point. I wanted you safe, and you willfully disregarded what I wanted only to make yourself feel better.”
“I couldn’t let you get hurt...”
“I asked you to trust me and you didn’t.” Nathaniel looked guilty as Eric appeared annoyed. However after a moment he sighed, letting it go as he continued more gently. “Please don’t do anything like that again alright? I thought I would lose you both, and Calla. It wasn’t fun.”
“I’m sorry…”
“...You’re forgiven.”
Nathaniel seemed relieved to hear it, he closed his eyes for a moment and I assumed he would sleep, but instead he spoke again. “I thought about what you said, you know...”
“Did you?” He mused, resting his cheek on the mattress as he continued to pet Nathaniel’s hair, “I wasn’t sure you would remember.”
“I do remember.”
“And..?”
Nathaniel hesitated, taking in a deep breath, “… I don’t have to do what you asked of me. There is nothing stopping me from commanding you to do as I wish.” He began though Eric remained perfectly calm. If I didn’t know him better I would have said he looked bored. “However, I understand that if I were to do only what I wanted, you would be unhappy. It’s not my desire to make you miserable… So I will agree to your terms. You have nothing to fear from me, I won’t command you again.”
Eric sat up mildly surprised, as if he had been expecting him to say something else. “Do you mean that?”
“Yes… I’ve tried keeping you against your will, and I’ve tried letting you go. Neither of those things made me happy.”
“What would make you happy?”
“...If you stayed near.” he mumbled honestly but Eric didn’t answer him, he was waiting for something? I couldn’t say what it might have been, but Nathaniel seemed to understand. “Please don’t make me say the words...”
“Is it so difficult?” he sighed and Nathaniel averted his gaze, it looked like he regretted saying anything. However Eric gently tilted his chin up and I couldn’t see past him as he leaned in closer. I think he might have said something but I didn’t hear it. Or maybe there was some weird cultural thing I didn’t know about?
When Eric pulled away Nathaniel looked uncertain, if not mildly embarrassed. “...Does that mean you’ll stay?”
“I’ll stay some of the time. I still have work to do, and I need to help Charles… I sort of got him fired from his job.”
“I thought you fixed that?”
“I tried… but he missed his court date for me. It was yesterday…”
“...I can compel anyone you need me to.”
Eric smiled tightly, “Don’t tempt me. More wrongs don’t make things right.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“If you have to ask for permission to ask, I'm inclined to say no.”
“You said my father was of no concern, how did you know that?”
“Let’s not talk about that right now…”
“You know something don’t you?”
“Nathaniel, please… trust me, not tonight.”
The fae regarded him for a long moment, “I want you to take my car again, stop riding that death trap.” he bargained instead.
“I suppose that means you’re not giving my bike back?”
“What are you talking about? I don’t have it.” he said bemused and Eric scoffed.
“Please. I know it was you.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but if someone’s stolen your motorcycle I owe them a word of gratitude.”
“You truly don’t have it?”
“Regrettably no.”
“I’d like to say I only saved you for my bike, so finding out you don’t have it is unfortunate.”
“Sorry to disappoint.” he chuckled quietly and Eric rolled his eyes.
“You’re insufferable.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes…” I thought I saw Eric smile when he spoke and Nathaniel leaned in close to him so that I couldn’t see between them. Neither of them spoke again, or if they did I didn’t hear it. Not that I was really paying attention anymore.
I’m not sure how much time passed as I drifted between wakefulness and dreamless sleep, but it felt like hours before I got up to use the restroom. Moving painstakingly slow, trying to be as quiet as I could so that I wouldn’t disturb anyone. By then Eric was asleep, leaning on the bed over Nathaniel and they didn’t stir as I passed.
The most challenging part about getting out of the rooms was getting past Hanta. Thankfully he had left a small gap between himself and the door and I managed to squeeze through.
In the hall it was dark and quiet, “I could use a little help.” I whispered.
‘What’s the matter, can't see in the dark?’ Ronové taunted.
“Obviously not.”
‘That must be a ‘weird cultural thing’.’
“It doesn’t even make sense, why would my lack of eyes be cultural?”
‘Hopeless.’ he mused, but the hall suddenly brightened as my eyes enhanced.
“Thanks.” I grumbled.
Being able to see more made the area only slightly less terrifying and when I heard voices coming from the hall ahead I panicked. I didn’t want to run into any fae in the dark. Without a second thought about it I ducked into the nearest room, closing the door quietly without looking around.
“Stop being ridiculous, his aura is human.”
“Baltzar, I fucking, SWEAR he was dead! I saw it with my own eyes, but he crawled out of the rubble like a fucking- I don’t even know!”
“You also thought Markos and his pet were dead, but you were clearly mistaken. Now I have better things to do than entertain your paranoia.”
“I’m not crazy, I know what I fucking saw! Can you check him with your magic or something-” he stopped abruptly. They were right outside the door, and I realized I must’ve hidden exactly where they intended to go.
“Who’s there?”
“What are you two conspiring about?” I recognized Markos’s voice.
“Nothing, Killian is paranoid. He thinks Nathaniel’s pet isn’t human.”
“Human’s don’t get, fucking, stabbed and buried in rubble and walk away without a scratch!” Killian hissed.
“Nothing does, so clearly you were mistaken.” Markos assured.
“I’m not-!”
“Killian.” Baltzar warned and Killian lowered his voice automatically.
“Fucks sake.”
“Why are you up at this hour then Markos?”
“Paranoia.”
“Checking the halls for Lazarus?”
“It doesn’t hurt to be vigilant.”
“You just can’t stand the thought of losing. There’s no way he’s still in the castle.”
“You can never be too careful.”
Baltzar snorted, “Right.”
“I suggest you return to your quarters now, lurking in the halls doesn’t look good.” Markos mused casually, though the threat in his words wasn’t subtle and I heard footsteps departing.
‘Makes you wonder why he’s lurking in the halls doesn’t it?’ Ron commented bemused.I didn’t answer, if I spoke now I was sure he would hear me.
“You can come out now, Charles.” Markos commented and I froze. Momentarily considering whether or not I believed he truly knew I was there. “I know you’re there, don’t play games.”
Reluctantly I opened the door to see Markos leaning against the wall with his arms folded, his purple eyes glowing in the darkness. “You shouldn’t walk about the halls without someone accompanying you.”
“I’m a big boy, I think I can find the bathroom on my own.”
“Is that why you’re hiding in the armory?”
“...No.”
“You’re a weak bag of flesh in a castle of the fae. Best to watch your step. Now come, I’ll take you back.”
I didn’t move, “Why are you out here?”
‘That’s not smart Charlie boy.’ Ronové commented tensely.
“I don’t need to explain myself to you.” he answered simply as he began to walk expecting me to follow.
I was beginning to understand why Eric guarded his emotions so carefully. This was a dangerous place, and we were in dangerous company.
NEXT
Chapter list
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‘Tick, tick, tick, tick-’
“Stop it.” I said quietly under my breath.
‘-tick, tick, tick-’ Ronové was repeating the sound in time with the pendulum swinging on the clock across the room and it was slowly driving me insane.
“Why are you doing that?”
‘Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick-’
“Shut up!” I shouted finally and at least three sets of unnatural eyes turned to me, “Sorry, voices.”
“You’re possessed?” It was a fairy named Baltzar who asked.
“A little bit.”
“That does explain the witch’s magic.”
‘Tick, tick, tick…’
“What? Oh yeah. It would be nicer if he was helpful though.” I joked, sometimes it was difficult to separate what Ron was thinking to me from what other people were saying. He didn’t answer me then, he was doing something, I won’t pretend to know what.
“Well?” Eric asked tensely, though his expression was perfectly neutral. Actually, I hadn’t seen any flicker of emotion at all in days.
He stood beside Nathaniel’s hospital bed with his arms folded, watching every move Baltzar made with scrutiny. His arm was coated in magic all the way to his collarbone, and his hair was combed back so that his right eye was clearly visible. I had seen him be relaxed about hiding his abnormalities when we were at home. But this was different, it was more like he was displaying them as a warning.
“He’s doing well. His vitals are stable, the salt is largely flushed from his system and his internal energy is reaching an equilibrium.”
“When will he wake.”
Baltzar shrugged, “How should I know? He will wake when his body has the energy to do so.”
Nathaniel was the only one that hadn’t regained consciousness. Calla was the first. I had found her lying in the street and the injury on her side was… Well, I’ve seen roadkill that looked better. Her dress was dirty and torn, and blood pooled around her. I didn’t think she was going to make it.
I pressed my hand firmly on the wound to stem the bleeding but her blood was so slick that I slipped more than once and it welled up between my fingers. ‘She’s not going to make it.’ Ronové commented casually echoing my thoughts, he sounded amused.
“Shut up.” I hissed. I didn’t want to hear anything from Ron at that point. Calla coughed as she tried to talk, blood dribbled out her mouth but whatever she said was inaudible. I think she knew that because she tried again.
“Wh–’s… E..ric?” It still took me a moment to understand.
Around us was chaos and I couldn’t see Eric anywhere, it was like a war zone. A haze of smoke filled the air, making it even harder to see anything. The only light came from freely burning fires and bright fairy magic. Ash fell from the sky like snow once the rain had let up, and to make matters worse it was bitterly cold, I don't know how no one else seemed to realize that.
Achaicus was fighting Lazarus and each blast of energy broke part of the castle, sending clouds of dust and rubble in all directions. It was all I could do to keep Calla somewhat protected from it. I didn’t know what I would do if they came in our direction. The fear in that thought nearly sent me into a panic attack.
“I don’t know where he is, but I'm sure he’s fine.” I tried to soothe her, she was so pale and her eyes slowly closed. “Calla no. You have to stay awake, can you do that for me?”
I patted her cheek gently to force her to open her eyes again and she did for a moment, “Okay, good, that’s good you’re doing great. Just breathe through it.” Was I talking her out of dying? Or coaching her through birth? Truthfully I didn’t know what to say, everything sounded dumb to me.
A shock wave of magic deflected off a sword shattered the windows above us and I did my best to cover her from the falling glass. It was terrifying being on the ground while monsters fought. I had never seen anything quite alike to it. I was definitely going to need to up the dosage on my anxiety meds after this.
I could almost feel Calla’s life slipping away when suddenly someone was beside me, pushing my hands away and replacing them with their own magic hands. “You’ve done well, let me.” It took a solid moment before I understood, it was a ghoul…
Gratefully I let her take over, when I stood I was shaking so bad that my legs felt like jelly. Calla’s blood soaked my shirt and pants, she had lost so much. But, magic can fix that right? I didn’t know. I couldn’t really think.
It was only by chance that I saw Eric, he was pushing his way out of a pile of rubble. It must’ve fallen on him during the fight and I thought he might be hurt so I moved right away to help him.
“I thought you were dead somewhere.” The relief I felt was immeasurable as I assisted him out.
“I’m fine, what about Calla?” He dismissed my concern. His hair and clothes were coated in dust. His right eye was nothing more than an empty socket, his nails were all blackened and his good eye seemed unusually blue. I hadn’t seen him without his monster arm and eye before and I’m ashamed to say I recoiled with the shock of it.
“Charles, focus, tell me about Calla?” he demanded firmly as I fell back on my haunches.
“She, she’s, a ghoul is-”
“And Nathaniel?” He cut me off before I could finish explaining.
“I don’t know he was-” Eric was gone before I could complete the sentence. Apparently he wasn’t injured at all.
After that everything was mostly a blur and I think I might have passed out because when I woke up I was laying on a hospital bed in the infirmary. Calla was in the bed beside mine, and Nathaniel was on the other side of her. Eric was sitting between the two with his cane across his lap and a sword resting close by, ready to be used at any moment.
Now let me tell you, fairy hospitals are weird, well, ‘outdated’ I suppose is a more appropriate term. It’s a wide space with tall timber framed windows along one side, and elaborate landscape paintings decorating the other. Small tables with flower vases ran down the center and there was very little medical equipment. There were no partitions between areas and metal beds with simple linens lined either side of the room in neat rows.
It was a surprisingly cold, sterile place considering the amount of light that shone in. I’m not really sure what I expected. Our beds were on the window side, while Markos was on the other side opposite them. My sister of course sat with him. She had dragged over an empty bed so that she could lay close to him.
There weren’t all that many people in the room, there was a ghoul, Hanta, standing beside the door and Eric looked over when I sat up.
“Good afternoon, Charles,” he commented. He hadn’t recovered fully at that point and the fae magic on his arm was only up to his forearm. But I noticed his fingernails were no longer black and his right eye was restored.
“Afternoon? How long was I out?”
“Only a few hours.” He assured, “How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been hit by a bus, how’s everyone else?”
“They will be alright.”
“Ahh that’s a relief-” I began but Eric cut me off abruptly.
“You disobeyed me.”
The way he looked at me seemed cold, and the complete lack of emotion in his voice made me feel like I was in trouble, “Yeah… I’m sorry about that.”
“You used a magic I warned you not to, and almost got yourself, and Nathaniel, killed. It would have been unforgivable if you had and I don’t take kindly to what I’m saying being blatantly disregarded. Do you understand?”
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to-” I had no good answer for him. He was angry in a way that burned cold and I knew it.
“You should be sorry. You’re important and irreplaceable.” he said it so calmly I wasn’t sure if he meant it, “...and, you saved Calla’s life. If you weren’t there she would have bled out. So I will forgive you, only this one time.”
I understood then that he was scared. I had scared him by putting myself in harms way, and this was his way of telling me.
“It won’t happen again...” I assured softly.
“...Thank you.”
I smiled and it was as I was about to make a terribly lame joke that Calla moved. She winced slightly as she tried to sit up but Eric was quick to stop her. “Don’t move too fast.”
“Where are we..?”
“The infirmary, still at Leúchtend.”
“We won?”
“Yes, Achaicus beat Lazarus.”
She paused for a moment processing, “...Markos?”
“He’ll be fine.”
“And Charles?” she asked next.
“Right here.” I spoke up and she turned to look at me with wide confused eyes. It was the first time I had seen her without make-up, and I was surprised to see that her eyelashes were partially white. Was she part fairy?
“That really hurt when you pressed on my side.” She mumbled the complaint.
“Ahhh, right. Sorry about that.” I was having to apologize a lot for one day.
She reached out to take my hand, squeezing it in hers and catching me off guard, “Thank you.” These people with their monotone and lack of expression, I had no idea if she meant it or not either.
“You, I, welcome?” Good job Charles, that made no sense, I thought bitterly.
‘No kidding.’ Ron answered bored, though I ignored him.
Calla nodded like she understood regardless and turned back to Eric, “I’m so sorry…”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I wasn’t strong enough, you had to fight them on your own. I let you down… I’m useless.”
“Hardly.” he responded simply and tears began to well in her eyes. She needed more than a single word answer and it took Eric a moment to realize it before he elaborated, “Calla, you killed a dragon single handedly. There’s not one other person in this entire castle that could say that.”
“I'm sorry…”
It took Eric some effort, but he stood with his cane and moved close enough to hug her. “Don't be, you have nothing to be sorry for.”
Calla didn’t stay awake long after that, only long enough to have a small amount of food before settling in to sleep more peacefully.
***
Markos was the next to wake the following day and when he did Claire threw her arms around him without any care. Dissolving into relieved sobs. He winced but made no complaint as he slowly returned the hug, pulling her close against him as if it brought him some comfort. She murmured something in his ear and he froze.
“...I beg your pardon?” he asked quietly.
However she didn’t repeat herself, instead she slowly let go of him, holding his face in her hands, “Are you alright? How do you feel?” she asked the questions in rapid fire.
He seemed unable to comprehend what she had said, and it took a moment for him to find his voice again. “I’m okay… How are you here?” He covered one of her hands with his and closed his eyes.
“Oh well... I-”
“She insisted I bring her.” Ávila mused as she entered the room and sat heavily on the edge of Markos’s bed and his eyes snapped open. For a moment he looked feral, like a startled cat, then his expression settled into a hard glare.
“It’s dangerous for her to be here.”
“She’s fine. Can’t lift a sword though.”
“They’re heavy.” Claire agreed, looking apologetic.
“What happened to Lazarus?”
“Achaicus beat him in combat and he is currently imprisoned under guard.”
“How many guards? Is he weakened? Is there salt?” He asked, gradually getting more irritated as he tried to get out of the bed.
“Relax, broken man. Everything is under control. Lazarus is well guarded.”
“And then who is protecting Dunkel if you’re here?” He growled, still annoyed.
“Tougo is at Dunkel and Achaicus is in control here. No one is going to attack anyone. And if they do, they’ll regret it.”
He didn’t seem satisfied with her answers, but Claire urging him to lay back down subdued him as Ávila continued to chatter away. I won’t pretend to understand how fairy magic and healing works, but apparently broken bones would only take a few days to mend. Not that he seemed pleased with even that, he was up and walking by the next day, despite Claire insisting he rest.
***
Days passed and Eric rarely left the room. The longest he was gone was only a few hours and that was only when Ávila agreed to stay in his place. There was a ghoul on guard at the door at all times and Achaicus visited regularly.
He sat beside Nathaniel on the opposite side of Eric and the pair of them waited for hours at a time in silence.
“Achaicus,” It was a female fairy who spoke, not anyone I knew, and two others accompanied her. It was regular that someone would come looking for him with some request or another, and he would often reluctantly leave. “The repair team are having trouble matching the mortar color to the original. They would like to know which alternative color you would prefer-”
“Get out.” Eric said calmly.
“But I-”
“Don't make me repeat myself. If the matter isn’t urgent, don’t interrupt.”
The woman looked unsure, her bright yellow eyes flicking to Achaicus for confirmation. “Pick whatever color is closest to the original.”
“Of course my lord.” She bowed appreciatively before leaving.
“You don’t have to answer their stupid questions.” Eric told him annoyed.
“I do…”
“No, you don’t.”
“I’m the leader, it’s my job now to handle any issues that arise.”
“Get Molly to deal with it.”
“If you would allow her into the room, perhaps I could.”
“With her gift? I think not.” he muttered as he got up and limped away to speak with someone at the doors. I couldn’t hear what was said, but I was sure he was barring anyone else from entering unless it was life or death.
“I see your attitude problem never went away.” Achaicus muttered, though he seemed grateful despite his words.
“I heard that.” Eric commented, lightly tugging on his hair on the way past when he returned.
“Don’t pull my hair.”
“I’ll do what I like.”
“Then I’ll have you thrown into the dungeons.”
“Please.” Eric snorted, they were surprisingly amicable, in a hostile kind of way.
“I don’t know how Nathaniel stands you.”
“Same way you do.”
“With a knife to the eye?”
“Careful, I’m sure you remember what happened last time you commented on my eyes.”
Achaicus looked shocked, his ears heating with embarrassment. It was clear Eric had mentioned something they weren’t supposed to talk about and it took him a full moment to process before he could respond, “I was drunk!”
“So was I.”
“I can’t leave you two alone for a second can I?” Nathaniel asked softly and they both paused.
“Brother…” Achaicus murmured, turning his full attention to Nathaniel and hugging him tightly, “Finally…”
“You’re still in bandages, how long has it been?” He returned the hug gently patting his brother’s hair to soothe him.
“Never mind about me.”
“It’s been four days.” Eric answered for him.
“And… Our father?”
“Securely locked up.” Achaicus assured as he slowly let go, “But you, you look awful. And you need to cut your hair, it’s getting too long.”
“Like you’re one to talk.”
Achaicus chuckled, “I’m glad you’re awake…”
“I didn’t expect to be.” he answered honestly.
“Don’t say things like that.” Eric scolded him and he looked apologetic.
“Were you hurt?”
“He had not a scratch on him.” Achaicus answered before Eric could.
“...I’m so glad…”
“Yeah, okay, why don’t you worry about yourself?” Eric grumbled uncomfortably.
For a moment it looked like Nathaniel was going to question him further however a commotion at the door drew their attention.
“I-I was told n-not to let anyone in..”
“Nonsense, I’m their mother.”
“It’s fine Hanta,” Eric called casually, and the woman quickly sidestepped him.
She was slender with no curves, and surprisingly young. It looked like she was in her 30’s at most and I chose not to even try and work out the math on that. Her hair was long and white with a red-ish hue, while her eyes were the same purple as Markos’s. She was wearing a black dress and matching gloves all the way to her elbows.
“Mother, what are you doing here?” Nathaniel asked coldly and she stopped awkwardly.
“...You’re my son’s…”
Neither answered but I recognised their expressions. It was the same one Claire and I had the one time we had accidentally ran into our parents while we were out shopping. Polite, awkward, uncertainty. Like they didn’t want to talk to her, but didn’t know how to tell her to leave.
The woman looked to Eric and he nodded slightly so she continued, “I- well… I know, I haven’t been much of a mother to you… I couldn’t protect you from your father as I should have… But I would like to remedy that… If I could… may I hug you..?”
“...No..” Nathaniel answered for them both quietly, tensely.
“Oh… I see, that’s okay… I deserve that. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. I’m glad to see you’re both okay.” Again she was met with silence as neither of her son’s answered and she shifted her weight awkwardly, “Right, well… Please come see me when you are able so that we might talk. If you want… I mean, I would like that… if you could…”
“Good day, mother.” Achaicus bid her farewell curtly, and she gave a small bow before departing.
The whole interaction made me uncomfortable, the woman was trying. That was more than Claire’s and my mother ever did. It hurt to watch and the awkward silence that followed only made it worse as the weight hung heavy in the air.
“You should speak with her.” Eric said gently.
“Since when were you on her side? And why should we? She never did anything to help us.” Nathaniel answered bitterly but Achaicus looked less sure.
Eric didn’t get the chance to respond before the doors opened and Baltzar returned with Markos. “It’s good to see you’re awake. Now you can put a muzzle on your dog, his barking was becoming tiresome.”
“Careful Baltzar, his bite is far worse than his bark.” Markos mused.
“I’m not a dog, so you had both better shut up.” Eric snapped in response.
“See, now that is exactly what I’m talking about, and I'm sure you can imagine my dismay when I learned commands don’t work on him.”
“Then I’m sure your dismay will only increase when you learn that my brother prefers not to command his pet.”
“He’s in fact extremely willful, and commands often backfire when given to him, so I prefer not to waste my efforts giving them. Now what is it that you want?”
Baltzar looked displeased while Eric’s expression didn’t change, “I came to inform Achaicus that we have been unable to locate Radomir, or Belle, and there are a handful of guards unaccounted for.”
‘Ahhh, your old friend.’ Ronové mused and I felt a chill run down my spine.
“Quiet.” I mumbled under my breath, though no one seemed to notice as they continued.
“I would suggest Radomir has likely fled to Europe with a small group, and that we should expect a visit from Ælfric.” Markos speculated casually although the notion seemed to make everyone nervous.
“I’ve already sent a letter to our grandfather, hopefully it will arrive before Radomir.” Achaicus muttered, rubbing his temples.
It was then that the doors to the infirmary were pushed open with some force. “Listen you fucking shit- Let me into this fucking room!” Killian shouted, his bright eyes were crazed with rage and it looked like he had run the entire way from wherever he had been.
“I-I really can’t, I-I’ve been given strict instructions-” Hanta looked distressed, this was the third time he had been forced to tell someone they weren’t allowed to enter and he looked more than a little flustered.
Baltzar rolled his eyes, “Calm down Killian, it’s not like we can’t hear you from the doorway, what is it?”
“Lazarus is fucking, gone!”
Achaicus and Nathaniel both tensed, while Baltzar clicked his tongue in annoyance. “What do you mean gone?!”
“I mean, his cell is fucking EMPTY.”
“That’s not possible.” Markos hissed, “I double checked his containment myself.”
“What do you think then? I’m just making this shit up!? He’s not fucking in there!”
“Well, what is in there?”
It took Killian a second to understand what he meant, “Nothing, there’s nothing. No traces of anything, no magic, no signs of a struggle, nothing, just salt. It’s like he vanished.”
“So send the guards out. I want everyone searching for him all the way to the borders of our lands.” Achaicus spoke up at last.
“Brother, I need to return to Dunkel in case he attacks the castle.” Nathaniel added.
“You don't need to do any of that, it’s pointless, and you’re in no state to travel let alone defend a castle.” Eric sighed, he was the only one who hadn’t reacted to the news in any way.
“You sound certain. How can you be sure?”
“Lazarus isn’t a concern, you need to rest…” he spoke more gently to Nathaniel and he hesitated slightly, though he said nothing more.
“What’s that mean he’s not a concern? If he attacks us now we can mark this as the shortest reign in history, or an altogether failed take over!” Baltzar sneered but Markos spoke up.
“...The Orphan is right. Lazarus has been sitting in a room with salt and received no medical attention. He’s slow and weak. He won't attack Dunkel, it’s more likely he will simply try to flee to Grosartig like Radomir and searching will waste resources. If we simply set up barrier points instead, we’ll know where he is when he crosses one.”
“You’re always just so smart aren’t you Markos?”
“It's just simple logic, Baltzar. If the orphan can come to the same conclusion, I’m sure you can too.”
“Fine, want to place a wager on when he will cross a barrier point?”
Markos smiled, “Certainly.”
***
With the new development most of them left. Although Markos was forced to stay because Claire refused to let him leave after he began bleeding through his bandages. Hanta swapped out for Yura, though she was more interested in talking to Nathaniel. Or at least she was, until Eric told her to leave so he could rest in no uncertain terms, and then he took over the watch himself when she departed.
There wasn’t really a lot to do in the meantime. I was too afraid to leave the room without someone else with me, and Ron must’ve run out of the energy to torment me so he was quiet as well. Vaguely I was aware that I was supposed to be in court, but I tried to think about other things instead of my torpedoed career.
When Calla woke up I talked with her for a while. She's a little bit hard to talk to only because she’s so similar to Eric. She doesn't hold conversation organically, answers questions minimally and her only hobbies are training and sharpening weapons. I could see why my sister doesn't like her, Claire likes people who can talk for hours and Calla was not like that.
At dusk Eric closed all the curtains and woke Nathaniel when Achaicus arrived with a trolley of food for us. Initially Molly had tried to enter the room with him, but Eric was quick to intercept her, “You’re not welcome in here. Get out.”
“I’m simply helping my master.” she responded calmly.
“I don’t care. I said get out. You know full well you are not to enter this room.”
“So snarky little orphan, what’s got you so tense?”
“Out.” he repeated, his hand moving to the sword on his hip and she smiled.
“Very well.”
“She means no harm.” Achaicus complained.
“I said she’s not allowed in and I mean it. Unless you want me to-”
“No. No. I understand.”
“Good.”
Nathaniel looked curious as did I, “I would love to know what he has over you brother~”
“It’s nothing.”
“I could command him to tell me you realize-” He stopped surprised when Eric covered his mouth with his hand.
“Command me, and I swear I’ll make you regret it. Now, shut up and eat your food.” he mused slowly letting him go once his point was made. Though Nathaniel still looked shocked as Eric came to sit beside me instead. “Don't eat the fresh meat. That’s only for the fae.”
I didn’t need him to remind me what it was.
Once dinner was over, Achaicus left and Hanta returned to guard the door. Truthfully I don’t remember falling asleep, I had been talking to Eric, then the next thing I knew I was out like a light.
I woke groggily to the sound of hushed voices, it was an ungodly hour of the morning. I couldn’t read the clock across the room but I didn’t need to. Moonlight streamed in through the only open window, it was beside Nathaniel’s bed and I guessed Eric must have opened it for him. Beside me Calla was sleeping peacefully, her soft breathing was rhythmic and soothing. Across the room my sister had dragged another bed over to Markos’s so that she could lay next to him and they were sleeping still.
At the farthest end of the room Hanta had barricaded the door with a bed and was laying down on it. I assume he too was asleep since I couldn’t see the glow of his eyes and slowly I came to realize the voices were Eric and Nathaniel speaking quietly to one another.
“Stop being so cryptic, where were you?” Nathaniel was asking, though he struggled to keep his eyes open as Eric was petting his hair, slowly lulling him into sleep.
“Can you just go back to sleep already?”
“You did get lost didn't you?” he teased and Eric looked bemused.
“No, I was there. Now hush, let’s not forget you weren’t supposed to be in that courtyard.”
“…Are you mad at me?”
“Yes.” Eric answered evenly, “You put yourself and Charles in danger. Lied to him to get him to do what you wanted. What exactly was your plan if you didn’t find Achaicus..?”
“Doesn’t matter…”
“You planned on offering yourself to him in exchange for me didn't you?”
“…It would have worked..”
“That’s not the point. I wanted you safe, and you willfully disregarded what I wanted only to make yourself feel better.”
“I couldn’t let you get hurt...”
“I asked you to trust me and you didn’t.” Nathaniel looked guilty as Eric appeared annoyed. However after a moment he sighed, letting it go as he continued more gently. “Please don’t do anything like that again alright? I thought I would lose you both, and Calla. It wasn’t fun.”
“I’m sorry…”
“...You’re forgiven.”
Nathaniel seemed relieved to hear it, he closed his eyes for a moment and I assumed he would sleep, but instead he spoke again. “I thought about what you said, you know...”
“Did you?” He mused, resting his cheek on the mattress as he continued to pet Nathaniel’s hair, “I wasn’t sure you would remember.”
“I do remember.”
“And..?”
Nathaniel hesitated, taking in a deep breath, “… I don’t have to do what you asked of me. There is nothing stopping me from commanding you to do as I wish.” He began though Eric remained perfectly calm. If I didn’t know him better I would have said he looked bored. “However, I understand that if I were to do only what I wanted, you would be unhappy. It’s not my desire to make you miserable… So I will agree to your terms. You have nothing to fear from me, I won’t command you again.”
Eric sat up mildly surprised, as if he had been expecting him to say something else. “Do you mean that?”
“Yes… I’ve tried keeping you against your will, and I’ve tried letting you go. Neither of those things made me happy.”
“What would make you happy?”
“...If you stayed near.” he mumbled honestly but Eric didn’t answer him, he was waiting for something? I couldn’t say what it might have been, but Nathaniel seemed to understand. “Please don’t make me say the words...”
“Is it so difficult?” he sighed and Nathaniel averted his gaze, it looked like he regretted saying anything. However Eric gently tilted his chin up and I couldn’t see past him as he leaned in closer. I think he might have said something but I didn’t hear it. Or maybe there was some weird cultural thing I didn’t know about?
When Eric pulled away Nathaniel looked uncertain, if not mildly embarrassed. “...Does that mean you’ll stay?”
“I’ll stay some of the time. I still have work to do, and I need to help Charles… I sort of got him fired from his job.”
“I thought you fixed that?”
“I tried… but he missed his court date for me. It was yesterday…”
“...I can compel anyone you need me to.”
Eric smiled tightly, “Don’t tempt me. More wrongs don’t make things right.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“If you have to ask for permission to ask, I'm inclined to say no.”
“You said my father was of no concern, how did you know that?”
“Let’s not talk about that right now…”
“You know something don’t you?”
“Nathaniel, please… trust me, not tonight.”
The fae regarded him for a long moment, “I want you to take my car again, stop riding that death trap.” he bargained instead.
“I suppose that means you’re not giving my bike back?”
“What are you talking about? I don’t have it.” he said bemused and Eric scoffed.
“Please. I know it was you.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but if someone’s stolen your motorcycle I owe them a word of gratitude.”
“You truly don’t have it?”
“Regrettably no.”
“I’d like to say I only saved you for my bike, so finding out you don’t have it is unfortunate.”
“Sorry to disappoint.” he chuckled quietly and Eric rolled his eyes.
“You’re insufferable.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes…” I thought I saw Eric smile when he spoke and Nathaniel leaned in close to him so that I couldn’t see between them. Neither of them spoke again, or if they did I didn’t hear it. Not that I was really paying attention anymore.
I’m not sure how much time passed as I drifted between wakefulness and dreamless sleep, but it felt like hours before I got up to use the restroom. Moving painstakingly slow, trying to be as quiet as I could so that I wouldn’t disturb anyone. By then Eric was asleep, leaning on the bed over Nathaniel and they didn’t stir as I passed.
The most challenging part about getting out of the rooms was getting past Hanta. Thankfully he had left a small gap between himself and the door and I managed to squeeze through.
In the hall it was dark and quiet, “I could use a little help.” I whispered.
‘What’s the matter, can't see in the dark?’ Ronové taunted.
“Obviously not.”
‘That must be a ‘weird cultural thing’.’
“It doesn’t even make sense, why would my lack of eyes be cultural?”
‘Hopeless.’ he mused, but the hall suddenly brightened as my eyes enhanced.
“Thanks.” I grumbled.
Being able to see more made the area only slightly less terrifying and when I heard voices coming from the hall ahead I panicked. I didn’t want to run into any fae in the dark. Without a second thought about it I ducked into the nearest room, closing the door quietly without looking around.
“Stop being ridiculous, his aura is human.”
“Baltzar, I fucking, SWEAR he was dead! I saw it with my own eyes, but he crawled out of the rubble like a fucking- I don’t even know!”
“You also thought Markos and his pet were dead, but you were clearly mistaken. Now I have better things to do than entertain your paranoia.”
“I’m not crazy, I know what I fucking saw! Can you check him with your magic or something-” he stopped abruptly. They were right outside the door, and I realized I must’ve hidden exactly where they intended to go.
“Who’s there?”
“What are you two conspiring about?” I recognized Markos’s voice.
“Nothing, Killian is paranoid. He thinks Nathaniel’s pet isn’t human.”
“Human’s don’t get, fucking, stabbed and buried in rubble and walk away without a scratch!” Killian hissed.
“Nothing does, so clearly you were mistaken.” Markos assured.
“I’m not-!”
“Killian.” Baltzar warned and Killian lowered his voice automatically.
“Fucks sake.”
“Why are you up at this hour then Markos?”
“Paranoia.”
“Checking the halls for Lazarus?”
“It doesn’t hurt to be vigilant.”
“You just can’t stand the thought of losing. There’s no way he’s still in the castle.”
“You can never be too careful.”
Baltzar snorted, “Right.”
“I suggest you return to your quarters now, lurking in the halls doesn’t look good.” Markos mused casually, though the threat in his words wasn’t subtle and I heard footsteps departing.
‘Makes you wonder why he’s lurking in the halls doesn’t it?’ Ron commented bemused.I didn’t answer, if I spoke now I was sure he would hear me.
“You can come out now, Charles.” Markos commented and I froze. Momentarily considering whether or not I believed he truly knew I was there. “I know you’re there, don’t play games.”
Reluctantly I opened the door to see Markos leaning against the wall with his arms folded, his purple eyes glowing in the darkness. “You shouldn’t walk about the halls without someone accompanying you.”
“I’m a big boy, I think I can find the bathroom on my own.”
“Is that why you’re hiding in the armory?”
“...No.”
“You’re a weak bag of flesh in a castle of the fae. Best to watch your step. Now come, I’ll take you back.”
I didn’t move, “Why are you out here?”
‘That’s not smart Charlie boy.’ Ronové commented tensely.
“I don’t need to explain myself to you.” he answered simply as he began to walk expecting me to follow.
I was beginning to understand why Eric guarded his emotions so carefully. This was a dangerous place, and we were in dangerous company.
NEXT
Chapter list
2023.04.02 14:30 newmusicrls Beatport’s Definitive History of House
Beatport’s Definitive History of House (1980, 1990, 2000, 2010)
House, Electronica, Techno (Peak Time / Driving), Dance / Electro Pop, Tech House, Deep House, Minimal / Deep Tech, Big Room, Progressive House, Electro House, UK Garage / Bassline, Afro House, Melodic House & Techno
https://minimalfreaks.co/2021/06/beatports-definitive-history-of-house/
88 Tracks:
submitted by newmusicrls to HypeTracks [link] [comments]
House, Electronica, Techno (Peak Time / Driving), Dance / Electro Pop, Tech House, Deep House, Minimal / Deep Tech, Big Room, Progressive House, Electro House, UK Garage / Bassline, Afro House, Melodic House & Techno
https://minimalfreaks.co/2021/06/beatports-definitive-history-of-house/
88 Tracks:
24 Hour Experience - Together (Original Mix) 04:44 124bpm F Âme - Rej (Original Mix) 08:08 124bpm Armand van Helden - U Don't Know Me (feat. Duane Harden) (Original Mix) 08:04 130bpm Armando - Downfall (Original Mix) 04:47 120bpm Atlantic Ocean - Waterfall (Original Mix) 05:02 Avicii - Levels (Original Version) 05:35 Banana Republic, Judy O'Beya - Catch The Feeling (Tuff Jam's Catch The Dub) 06:25 Bang The Party - Bang Bang You're Mine (Full Vocal Remix) 06:11 Barbara Tucker - Beautiful People (Underground Network Mix) 09:06 Bedrock - For What You Dream Of feat. KYO (Full On Renaissance Mix) 10:49 98bpm C Benny Benassi presents The Biz - Satisfaction (Isak Original Extended) 06:39 130bpm Bodyrox - Yeah Yeah (D Ramirez Vocal Club Mix) 08:18 126bpm Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa - One Kiss (Extended Mix) 04:42 124bpm Am Cece Rogers - Someday (Original Mix) 07:17 119bpm Crystal Waters - Gypsy Woman (Original Mix) 09:41 119bpm Cultural Vibe - Ma Foom Bey (Love Chant Version) 05:34 116bpm Daft Punk - One More Time (Original Mix) 05:20 122bpm De'Lacy - Hideaway (Deep Dish Club 12" Remix) 11:52 122bpm Delroy Edwards - Feelings (Original Mix) 05:59 Disclosure, FATOUMATA DIAWARA - Douha (Mali Mali) 04:54 DJ Boring - Winona (Original Mix) 08:31 DJ Koze - The Geklöppel Continues 2 (Original Mix) 05:57 DJ Mes, Rescue - Hornblower (Original Mix) 06:07 DJ Sneak - U Can't Hide From Your Bud (Original Mix) 08:51 Donna Summer - I Feel Love (Original Mix) 05:51 Double 99 - Ripgroove (Original Mix) 06:10 126bpm Duke Dumont, A\*M\*E - Need U (100%) (Skreamix) 06:32 124bpm Eddie Richards - D-Comm (Original Mix) 06:55 126bpm Gm Emmanuel Jal, Abdul Gadir Salim - Baai (Riot Stereo \& SURAJ Remix) 04:43 Equation - I'll Say A Prayer 4 U (Original Mix) 05:59 124bpm Farley Jackmaster Funk - Jack The Bass (Jack The Dick) (Original Mix) 06:40 124bpm Fedde Le Grand - Put Your Hands Up For Detroit (Original Mix) 06:36 128bpm Felix da Housecat - Freakadelica (Original Mix) 04:44 Floyd Lavine - Nohme Ne (Original Mix) 06:35 Frankie Knuckles - Baby Wants to Ride (feat. Jamie Principle) (Original Mix) 08:34 132bpm Gemini - In My Head (Freaks Move This Way Vocal Dubby) 06:53 Gene Farris - 4 Minutes OF Pleasure (Original Mix) 06:04 132bpm Green Velvet - La La Land (Original Mix) 05:20 Herbert - Back To The Start (Herbert) (Bonus Track) 07:02 Idjut Boys - Roll Over And Snore (The Long Stayer Mix) 12:26 126bpm E♭ maj Inner City - Good Life (Remastered) (Extended Mix) 07:22 123bpm Jamie Jones - Amazon (Original Mix) 07:17 124bpm Jerome Sydenham, Fatima Njai, Mario Punchard - Trans Afro Express (Vocal Dub Mix) 06:58 Jesse Saunders - On \& On (Original Mega) 06:22 121bpm Jessie Ware - Running (Original Mix) 05:30 Josh Wink - Higher State of Consciousness (Tweekin Acid Funk Mix) 06:17 Julio Bashmore - Au Seve (Original Mix) 06:33 124bpm Jungle Wonz - The Jungle (Remastered) 06:07 Kerri Chandler - Bar A Thym (Original Mix) 07:24 126bpm Kyle Hall, KMFH - Measure 2 Measure (Original Mix) 06:42 119bpm E Leftfield - Not Forgotten (Dub Mix) 04:46 120bpm B M.A.N.D.Y., Booka Shade - Body Language (Original Mix) 07:16 65bpm G♭ min Makesome Breaksome - Nightshift (Mr. C Remix) 06:25 Marshall Jefferson - The House Music Anthem (Move Your Body) 07:48 122bpm Masters At Work, Ken Lou, India - I Can't Get No Sleep (Ken Lou 12” Mix) 06:45 123bpm A#m Mike Dunn - Magic Feet (Original Mix) 06:03 Monique Bingham, Black Coffee - Deep in the Bottom (of Africa) 06:33 128bpm Mood II Swing, Carol Sylvan - Closer (feat. Carol Sylvan) (Swing II Mood Dub) 05:47 123bpm Moodymann - Mahogany Brown (Original Mix) 05:33 119bpm Mr. Fingers - Can You Feel It (Original Mix) 05:53 112bpm Nicole Moudaber - Dilemma (Original Mix) 07:36 124bpm Nightcrawlers - Push The Feeling On (Mk Dub Revisited Edit) 04:03 123bpm Palms Trax - Equation (Original Mix) 07:49 124bpm Patrick Topping - Get Beasty (Original Mix) 06:15 123bpm Phuture - Acid Tracks (Original Mix) 12:17 120bpm Ricardo Villalobos - Fizheuer Zieheuer (Original Mix) 37:11 124bpm Bb Robin S, Sandeville - Show Me Love (Extended Mix) 04:00 124bpm Dm Ron Hardy - Sensation (Short Version) 03:30 117bpm Sandy Rivera, LT Brown - Come Into My Room (feat. LT Brown) (Take It Back Mix) 07:45 124bpm Sebastian Sellares - Juno (Original Mix) 08:27 Shackleton - Blood on My Hands (Ricardo Villalobos' Apocalypso Now Mix) 18:34 127bpm Sly And Lovechild - The World According to Sly \& Lovechild (Andrew Weatherall Soul of Europe Mix) 08:21 Solardo, Paul Woolford - Tear It Up feat. Pamela Fernandez (Extended Mix) 05:59 125bpm Fmin Solomun - Wellenfänger (Original Mix) 09:05 126bpm Stardust - Music Sounds Better With You (Original Mix) 06:43 124bpm Dmin Steve Poindexter - Work That Mutha Fucker (Remix) 05:56 124bpm Steve Silk Hurley - Jack Your Body (1986 Club Mix) 05:06 122bpm Swedish House Mafia - Save The World (Original Mix) 06:50 126bpm Tama Sumo - Iron Glance (Original Mix) 06:49 Ten City - That's The Way Love Is (Underground Mix / Extended Version) 08:11 120bpm Terry Francis - Took From Me (Original Mix) 08:15 132bpm E The Sponges - Feelin' Alright (Original Mix) 03:07 The Todd Terry Project - Bango (To the Batmobile) (Club Bang) 05:26 Theo Parrish - Sky Walking (Original Mix) 08:56 121bpm Traxmen, Paul Johnson - Outta My Way (Original Mix) 05:32 Tuccillo \& Kiko Navarro, Amor - Lovery (Yoruba Soul Mix) 08:25 121bpm Ultra Naté - Free (Original Mix) 05:53 124bpm Yolanda - Your Time is Up (Original Mix) 04:27 122bpm
2023.04.02 14:29 F0REM4N 4/2
- E3 2023 has been canceled
- Australian government seeks to classify all games with loot boxes as Mature
- Japan approves Microsoft-ABK merger
- These reported PSVR 2 sales figures prove that Xbox was right to skip VR (240k units in first two months)
- Aaron Greenberg: June 11th we have a DOUBLE FEATURE planned with our Xbox Games Showcase + Starfield Direct
- WD Black 1TB Expansion Card at Best Buy for $180
- The $1 Xbox Game Pass Ultimate trial seems to have been pulled from countries all around the world
- Arkane 'Very Proud' Of Lack Of Microtransactions In Redfall
- Tunic Beat Elden Ring And Ragnarok For BAFTA Game Award For Artistic Achievement
- Xbox console exclusive Vampire Survivors wins best game at the BAFTA awards.
- Vampire Survivors’ Second DLC Weaves an Enchanted Fairy Tale On April 13
- Quantum Break is leaving Game Pass
- MultiVersus Open Beta will close on June 25, full launch in early 2024
- The Fallout TV Show has finished filming"
- Introducing the Xbox Elite Wireless Controller Series 2 – Core, now in red and blue
2023.04.02 14:12 SmokeAway14 Black anon goes to Poland
submitted by SmokeAway14 to 4chan [link] [comments]
2023.04.02 14:06 errt544 chocolate indian n black kokohontas takes deep bbc stretch
 | submitted by errt544 to Tiny98361 [link] [comments] |
2023.04.02 13:55 True_Cartoonist7022 April 1st 5k results… all the way from 01/12/23
 | submitted by True_Cartoonist7022 to runningLosAngeles [link] [comments] |
2023.04.02 13:54 Tsetler Addiction stacks for opioids, stimulants and GABA'ergics
The Woodroof Protocol
A method of reducing withdrawal,
support tapering and prevent relapse
I dedicate this work to everyone struggling with addiction as well as those, helping the
increasing number of people, out there suffering. From the parent worried sick about their
child, to the healthworkers and professionals each Day fighting to save the lives of those, still
stuck in addiction.
My dear American friend whom I had the pleasure of getting to know and helping to taper
from a severe opiod-addiction, inspired me to write this to share with you.
This information will be of great value, if you’re trying to recover, or currently helping
someone, recover from addiction to: stimulants, opioids and GABAergics.
Here below is a short guide, that summarizes the findings made from Years of experience
working within this field making personalized regimens of supplements with very promising
results.
The individual regimens are all legal, non-toxic, non-addictive, natural and most importantly
based on evidence. They can all be bought or ordered online, at a reasonable cost and self
administered or used alongside other treatments etc.
Introduction:
I wanted to show my appreciation for Woodroofs work and courage making treatments
available back then, fighting for the rights of people, who weren’t offered the best
treatment they knew at the time.
Woodroof is a referal to Ronald Dickson Woodroof (1992) who founded the famous Dallas
Buyers Club which later was made into the movie by the same name. R.D.Woodroof through
the buyers club, distributed medicine to treat Aids during the hardship in the 80’s. Today we
see addiction is killing more people each Year than Aids did when it was most rampant in the
US. Not only OD’s but addiction-related suicide as well as alcoholism is widely spreading,
creating torn apart families and isolated individuals, all who are in dire need of our help.
This story ressonated with me, as I started a non-profit myself about 3 Years ago, where we
collectively bought large amounts of supplements to save money and to get around the
legislation in my country. I would then make personalized blends of these for a lot of cases,
but especially for people struggling with addiction and cases where our psychiatry had failed.
I quickly started getting people referred to me struggling with stimulants, opioids and
GABAergics but were also able to help in a lot cases with somatic diseases and I had to keep
learning and read up on the studies as well as scout the internet for knowledgeable sources.
I was educated as an intercultural and international socialworker, later having studied
anthropology and globalization, although I have no background in medicine, this must be
mentioned.
I suffered a minor TBI (traumatic brain injury) 10 Years ago, and I had to learn, how to
recover from the cognitive issues and did a lot of experimentation and researched neuro
regeneration and supplements for Years which meant I was familiar scouting for resources, reading studies as well as looking for interactions.
I needed to dive deep into the individual effects of minerals, vitamins, amino acids,
adaptogens and nootropics and the different synergies, and found some very interesting
finds regarding possible addiction treatments and support, and I have witnessed some very
promising results.
These following regimens and advice is what I’ve seen having the highest rate of recovery as
well as the lowest rapported issues with relapse, accute withdrawal as well as PAWS (post
accute-withdrawal-symptoms) while and after tapering. Studies are linked beneath each, for
further reading.
If you’re on any other medication or supplements, then either get a medical professional
to look into interactions before trying any of these or if you proceed on your own hand,
make sure either ask on i.e. Reddit / FB groups, or Google substance-x + substance-y +
interactions and do a bit of reading.
I. Opiods
Warning, this blend of supplements potentiates opiates to a high degree, meaning if you’re
on an active taper, then dose lower than you’re used to before trying these, approximately
half your usual dose. It also means you can do a far more rapid taper and use these before,
as well as after, your last dose during the taper, to reduce RLS and PAWS here. When you
hit a wall and your body starts reacting with WD’s, then hover at that dose for a few Days
and then continue cutting down a little less aggressive from there on.
https://ericazelfand.com/vitamin-c-for-opioid-addiction/
If you suffer from hemochromatosis, skip the vitamin c though.
*In some cases where you’re coming off a dangerously high dose of fentanyl or methadone,
then substituting with kratom alongside this regiment can be useful in certain cases, but it
must be said kratom in of itself is an opioid with risk of addiction. It’s the lessor of two evils
though and for some can have benefits, if they can’t get suboxone etc. It will work fine,
alongside this taper as these supplements also potentiates the kratom and suboxone a lot. If
you’re trying to get off kratom the same supplements will help you too.
Bacopa (BM) can require a step by step increase to avoid stomach issues, so start with a low
dose. Some people get slight diarrhea dosing high on BM, so always dose right after a fatty
meal, or just use Psyllium husks and some butteoil before taking the BM, although a large
meal containing fats, is the most effective way mitigating this. Also certain bad extracts
tends to make the diarrhea inevitable even in low doses and with food so if you’re unlucky
to get your hands on a bad extract, try giving another a go before you give up on BM as it is
truly effective when it can get absorbed. Both the vitamin c and the BM needs to get adjusted for by slowly increasing until you reach
bowel tolerance. A meal before, with the fiber and fats seems to shorten this period.
BM in higher doses causes a slight fatigue and some prefer to take 200-500mg of rhodiola
extract early in the Day to counter this because if the rhodiola is taken late, it will hinder
sleep.
Bacopa has a long history of use for opium-addiction in India but have recently been studied
and hailed for it’s effect of diminishing discomfort and reducing WD’s as well as the dose
needed for painrelief etc. Agmatine and BSO also show great potential for reducing WD’s
and managing PAWS as shown in the studies.
I will refer to a few studies here but for more detailed information, I recommend reading or
skimming the PHD dissertation about the potential of bacopa in opioid dependency as well.
For further reading on each supplement Google each + opioid + studies or opiates, and read
about some of the studies or old threads about these.
Effect of bacopa monnieri on morphine dependence and tolerance to analgesia in
animal models (PHD Thesis)
http://prr.hec.gov.pk/jspui/bitstream/123456789/2010/2/1574S.pdf
Effect of Bacopasides on acquisition and expression of morphine tolerance
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/50289046\_Effect\_of\_Bacopasides\_on\_acqui
sition_and_expression_of_morphine_tolerance
A new and novel treatment of opioid dependence: Nigella sativa 500 mg
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19385474/
Thymoquinone: From Nigella sativa to a protective pharmacological compound in
managing opioid dependence and amphetamine type stimulant issues
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7395189/
Effect of agmatine on the development of morphine dependence in rats: potential role
of cAMP system https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15541421/
Agmatine Prevents Adaptation of the Hippocampal Glutamate System in Chronic
Morphine-Treated Rats https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5563829/
Attenuation of heroin withdrawal syndrome by the administration of high-dose vitamin
C
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/236834375\_Attenuation\_of\_heroin\_withdr
awal_syndrome_by_the_administration_of_high-dose_vitamin_C
I recommend to continue this regimen for a while after seizing the last mg’s of opiates as
this prevents relapse by a great deal as well as helps to bring the body back into homeostasis
as bacopa increases synaptogenesis as well. You can skip the high dose vitamin C when
you’re out of the woods and just get a good multivitamin and some omega 3’s to maintain
the effects. The rhodiola also acts as a powerful anti-fatigue and anti-depressant for post
addiction lethargy. Most get great relief from doing this regiment for longer periods as they
report it helps keep them clearminded and manages their cravings for opiates, is what I’ve
experienced from feedback. The doses can easily be lowered to more sustainable levels that will still offer relief from
cravings. On the last page I have some recommendations for other natural compounds with
neuro-regenerative proporties that also reduces cravings for alcohol and drugs that can be
worth looking into to add to, as well as substitute for some of these when you get clean and
free from WD’s again.
II. Stimulants
Warning, do not use mucuna alongside an active taper still using stimulants. You should be
able to stop or do a rapid taper with the others and continue with the mucuna but do so
only, when you’re off the stimulant. In most cases it is easier just to stop and substitute with
this regimen as it will reduce cravings, mental instability as well as physical WD’s very
effectively. Also be aware that polygala potentiates stimulants so dose lower than usual
around 2/3 normal dose and monitor your reactions if you are going to taper off without
mucuna. If any sign of discomfort arises, wait to use polygala also until you’ve tapered down
using the others.
precursor to l-dopa, which helps prevent neurotoxicity to some degree. Bilberry/blueberry
extract also has neuroprotective proporties on the dopaminergic system as shown from the
studies below. It’s best to get bilberry as it contains 4-10x higher the amount of
anthocyanins but a higher dose of blueberry extract will also work. It is though not
recommended to use mucuna for lengthy periods due to risk of neurotoxicity so later, you’ll
be able to, instead drop the mucuna, and add NAC + d-phenylalanine which is a precursor to
the l-tyrosine, alongside the others. This is once you’ve been clean for at least a Week and
managed the most severe craving and WD’s.
In case you’re showing troubling signs of brainaging due to stimulant-use, you can add
bacopa to this stack as well, as evidence is showing it is acting as a powerful neuroprotectant
in meth+mpp induced neurotoxicity and it’s effect of synaptogenesis will aid here, as well.
(https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9414486/)
Pair it with rhodiola 200-500mg if you experience fatigue or depression from the PAWS that
won’t dissapate with the supplements.
Antioxidant-Enriched Diet Affects Early Microglia Accumulation and Promotes
Regeneration of the Striatal Dopamine System after a 6-Hydroxidopamine-Induced
Lesion in a Rat https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.4137/JEN.S10424
Blueberry- and spirulina-enriched diets enhance striatal dopamine recovery and induce
a rapid, transient microglia activation after injury of the rat nigrostriatal dopamine
system https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0014488605002797 Dopamine mediated antidepressant effect of Mucuna pruriens seeds in various
experimental models of depression
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4213977/
Neuro-Cognitive Effects of Acute Tyrosine Administration on Reactive and Proactive
Response Inhibition in Healthy Older Adults
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6084775/
Tyrosine influence on amphetamine self-administration and brain catecholamines in the
rat https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3786355/
Effects of dietary tyrosine on L-dopa- and amphetamine-induced changes in locomotor
activity and neurochemistry in mice https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2080188/
Polygalasaponins effective against antipsychotic treatment
https://patents.google.com/patent/KR100378323B1/en
Antidepressant Principles of the Roots of Polygala tenuifolia
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/6804019\_Antidepressant\_Principles\_of\_the
_Roots_of_Polygala_tenuifolia
Hypothesizing Balancing Endorphinergic and Glutaminergic Systems to Treat and
Prevent Relapse to Reward Deficiency Behaviors: Coupling D-Phenylalanine and N
Acetyl-L-Cysteine (NAC) as a Novel Therapeutic Modality
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4760695/
I also recommend you continue this regiment for as long as you experience cravings or fear
you might relapse. Just switch the mucuna after the critical phase and instead use NAC + d
phenylalanine and perhaps bacopa if there’s some damages from a long period of addiction.
You will easily be able to find a lower or even a higher, functioning dose of the supplements
that suits your need for repair and relief. The most important part is you move further and
further away from relapse and get the natural energy and drive to get back into a healthy
lifestyle again. In general people I learn who’ve forgotten or stopped their supplements,
after they get clean, tends to relapse, way more often, than those who keep their regimens.
So use this for as long as needed and read the part about alcohol and managing cravings
down at the bottom. If you feel some resistance to using supplements or want to learn more
about other kinds of medicine like these, I advice you to download the free guide, linked to
at the last page.
III. GABA
’ergics
Warning, don’t completely seize your use of benzodiazepines abrubtly. Plan a careful taper
as risk of seizures can be highly dangerous, especially in the higher dose-range. This regimen
will potentiate benzodiazepines also, as well so be aware to dose lower in the beginning
until you get a sense of how much potentiation, for the benzo, you’re currently on.
Approximately to 1/2 and then if WD’s kick in dose a bit higher until you feel okay and if you
get high vice versa. If you’re using a benzo that is metabolized fast like alprazolam it can be
worth to slowly adjust and start using a benzo with a longer half life like clonazapam and
diazapam to better be able to cut doses and not worry about getting into WD’s at every hour. Emoxypine________________________________________100mg-500mg 1-3 doses pr.Day
Agmatine_________________________________________500mg-1500mg 1-3 doses pr.Day
Magnolia Bark Extract_______________________________200mg-800mg 1-3 doses pr. Day
Black Seed Oil (Nigella Sativa)______________________1 tbsp.-3 tbsp. 1-3 doses pr. Day
*This also works for gabapentenoids like (Gabapentin, Pregabalin and Phenibut) but if
you’re tapering down from a high dose phenibut, you might also benefit by substituting 1g
of phenibut with 10mg baclofen in that ratio. This regimen will make you able to taper fast
and effective down from the baclofen too.
Glutamate surges from excitotoxicity when tapering, often creates severe adrenal fatigue,
mental instablity and wearyness, after a while and here it is also important to make sure to
get a enough vitamin b6 and you’ll also be able try kava, NAC and l-theanine, alongside this,
to prevent these symptoms. Magnolia modulates GABA-a but there’s not many studies on
emoxypine even though safety has been well-established. Regarding emoxypine, you can
find a wide arrange of user reports that backs it’s efficiency in tapering which were
confirmed from my own observations.
All of these together, can bring a bit symptoms of fatigue due to the combined effects of the
supplements. If this becomes an issue take 200-500mg of rhodiola extract early in the Day to
counter this because if the rhodiola is taken late, it will hinder sleep. Lemon balm and
magnesium glycinate can be a help in getting some sleep, in certain phases in the WD’s if
you taper aggressively.
Use this like the other regimens for as long as you need the support and when you’re
completely off all benzodiazepines and stabilized, then you can switch the magnolia extract
to sabroxy extract, and this will help your brain heal faster due to increased BDNF,
neurogenesis as well as synaptogenesis. Bacopa too has effects of synaptogenesis and will
help mitigating symptoms of alcohol WD and craving and can be useful to add, once you’re
off as well.
Benzo induced neurological dysfynction (BIND) can require more of the neuro-regenerative
effects in general and higher doses. I suggest you download the free guide, linked to at the
last page, and look into, sabroxy, polygala, bacopa, sulforaphane, emoxypine and the
neuropeptides as a start.
Agmatine Inhibit The Tolerance To The Anxiolytic Effect Of Diazepam In Rats
https://www.semanticscholar.org/papeAgmatine-Inhibit-The-Tolerance-To-The
Anxiolytic-Of-Patel-Bhartiya/077ecdcea512f2298acc528f3d70944c04e8c01f
Magnolol, a major bioactive constituent of the bark of Magnolia officinalis, induces
sleep via the benzodiazepine site of GABAA receptor in mice
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0028390812002894
Effect of Magnolia officinalis and Phellodendron amurense (Relora (R)) on cortisol and
psychological mood state in moderately stressed subjects
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/255705487\_Effect\_of\_Magnolia\_officinalis\_
and_Phellodendron_amurense_Relora_R_on_cortisol_and_psychological_mood_state_
in_moderately_stressed_subjects Promising effects of emoxypine and its succinate derivative in the management of
various diseases-with insights on recent patent applications
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9389226/
[The results of the study of the efficacy and safety of mexidol in patients with chronic
cerebral ischemia] (Mexidol = Emoxypine) https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26081329/
Kava as an anticraving agent: preliminary data
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/11205899\_Kava\_as\_an\_anticraving\_agent\_
preliminary_data
Bacopa monnieri abrogates alcohol abstinence-induced anxiety-like behavior by
regulating biochemical and Gabra1, Gabra4, Gabra5 gene expression of GABAA receptor
signaling pathway in rats
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0753332218383914
III. I.Alcohol
Dealing with alcoholism often get’s tricky as this is tied deeply into culture as well as
patterns of engaging in much needed socializing.
This regimen of supplements might be able to reduce most of the cravings and help with
many of the issues from a physiological point of view. While on the other hand, the isolation
and mental toll it takes to step outside of the festivities, often tend to push people back into
drinking or worse even, into drugs.
Kava shows some very promising results being a positive allosteric modulator of the GABA-a
receptor which means it doesn’t have much addiction potential at all, yet mimicks a lot of
the effects from alcohol. In a lot places now, people are beginning to bring kava for
themselves for going to parties, to manage social anxiety and peer-preassure as well as
experiencing the enjoyment of being a part of the letting loose.
Kava has shown to act as a powerful anti-cravings agent as shown in the study below, not
only for alcohol but most drug of choices tested on the group.
My anecdotal observations:
Most people who’ve gotten clean, functional and even stopped drinking due to it leading
them to do drugs, often told me about them getting a nagging evening restlessness. In
general how it would get their head spinning about relapsing just once etc.
Those who tried kava all reported that it took away that sense of craving and it helped them
relax and unwind when they got stressed enough to begin fantasizing about drugs and
alcohol. Some of those who didn’t want the kava, managed to stay clean, while others
unfortunately found themselves, slip a few times.
But they often reported, that having the supplements and knowing the way back, kept them
getting back to living clean very quickly after.
A theory of this is, could be due to the role alcohol and cannabis has played for thousands of
Years perhaps, being incoded in our biology, to come to a point where the need, for just
some kind of recreational effects for some, becomes highly unbearable to cope with.
This is why I often advice people in risk, to get to learn about kava and have at least a little
bag of instant/micronized kava lying around, so they know they’ll be able to push the panic
button on the accute cravings.
The point of kava being highly adviced as the lessor of two evils is displayed in these
infographics here: (https://sci-hub.st/10.1177/0269881119841569) Kava and safety:
Kava got a bad stain from back in the 90’s when some medicinal companies bought up a
kava-company and shortly after started making acetone extracts of leaves and stems which
wasn’t allowed. A few cases with people with pre-existing liver issues and even alcoholism
and medication on the side, in a rare instants experienced hepatoxicity and the pharmaceutical industry, in a collective effort, blew it out proportions. The most likely cause
of this, is hypothesized to be, the rapid increase, in loss of sales of benzodiazepines and
addictive sleeping medication, which they began seeing as kava increased in popularity back
in the late 90’s. Multiple peer-reviewed studies have since put these claims to rest, and
these are linked to beneath. As a comparison acetylsalicylic acid, also known as aspirin, was
actually found, to be more dangerous than kava.
“Kava Lebertoxisch?” DAZ.online. https://www.deutsche-apotheker-zeitung.de/.../uid-
“A Plant Kavalactone Desmethoxyyangonin Prevents Inflammation and Fulminant
Hepatitis in Mice.” https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0077626.
“Kava Feeding in Rats Does Not Cause Liver Injury nor Enhance Galactosamine-Induced
Hepatitis.” . https://doi.org/10.1016/j.fct.2007.01.015.
“Lack of Evidence of Kava-Related Hepatotoxicity in Native Populations in Savaii,
Samoa.” https://www.herbalgram.org/media/12000/issue59.pdf.
“Yangonin Protects against Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease through Farnesoid X
Receptor.” Phytomedicine: International Journal of Phytotherapy and
Phytopharmacology https://doi.org/10.1016/j.phymed.2018.09.006.
“Effects of Kava Root Extract on the Liver Morphology of c57bl-6 Mus Musculus Mice.”
“Anxiolytic Action and Safety of Kava: Effect on Rat Brain Acetylcholinesterase Activity
and Some Serum Biochemical Parameters. http://dx.doi.org/.
“Chemical and in Vitro Toxicity Analysis of a Supercritical Fluid Extract of Kava Kava
(Piper Methysticum).” https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jep.2019.01.032.
“Flavokawains A and B from Kava (Piper Methysticum) Activate Heat Shock and
Antioxidant Responses and Protect against Hydrogen Peroxide-Induced Cell Death in
HepG2 Hepatocytes.” https://doi.org/10.3109/13880209.2015.1107104.
“Aqueous Kava Extracts Do Not Affect Liver Function Tests in
Rats.” https://doi.org/10.1055/s-2003-40658.
“Safety of Ethanolic Kava Extract: Results of a Study of Chronic Toxicity in Rats.”
Phytomedicine: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.phymed.2006.01.006.
“Kava Hepatotoxicity: Comparative Study of Two Structured Quantitative Methods for
Causality Assessment.” . https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2710.2009.01131.x.
Finishing words:
Reintegrating your lifepath back into your original flowstate again, can be difficult, as all
addiction tends to originate from trauma of some sort, but also create a lot of trauma in of
itself. Most of us, are also carriers of multiple generations of traumatic experiences and all of this, if not treated, will hinder our journey into the higher levels of emotional and spiritual
growth. These regimens can provide us with a long window of opportunity to begin to find
your way back into progressing with a healthy lifestyle. But if the addiction-issue, is taken
lightly, and given enough time, the signs of trauma’s will come clawing their way back and
have you risk relapse.
I see a lot, find great comfort in religious community with a strong faith as well as evolving
values of reciprocity to newcomers. Some start to exercise a lot and eat healthy again, as
well as reach out to new friendgroups. Some show great benefits from getting therapy or
counseling for that extra assistance in unraveling, certain kinds of severe trauma. Others go
into Eastern and spiritual practices like Qigong and Yoga and start to meditate. A
combination of all of these would be ideal, but focus on one step at a time. There are many
paths back to healing and a good marker for progression here, is if your eyes are getting
kinder, your voice is becoming softer and you begin to feel and see the traumas, of others,
and wants to be in service of some sort.
A short story we can use to remind ourselves.
A long time ago, a therapist explained to me.
"Once a woman told me that she would always love being intimate with her husband
because then after that his eyes would be mild and kind.
A man then told me how he loved making his wife laugh, because after that, her voice
would become soft and playful.
Lastly a young child told me, how the child loved being around and being in service to the
parents, because after that, they would listen and stay present, just as ready to cry with
them as to laugh with the them.
Counter-intuitive strategies
For those who at some point will seek out, some kind of therapy this here beneath, might be
worth knowing.
PTSD therapy offers relief for around 20% of people with PTSD, while MDMA-facilitated
therapy shows results of around 80% instead. If you suffer from PTSD or severe trauma, and
you can’t get this therapy where you’re at, using kanna extract (preferably MT55) and
getting a good therapist to work with, will help you up the percentages. This is because
kanna works very similarly to MDMA. Just let the therapist know politely, that you’re
supplementing with a herbal extract while you’re there, to treat your anxiety, and most will
have no issues with this.
The promising aspect of this, is that now, you can have Weekly sessions instead of having to
wait 2-3 Months in between each, as with MDMA due to sideeffects and toxicity. Although
be careful that the euforic effects of kanna doesn’t act as a trigger so be mindful about this
before proceeding.
The safety and efficacy of ±3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine-assisted
psychotherapy in subjects with chronic, treatment-resistant posttraumatic stress
disorder: the first randomized controlled pilot study
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3122379/
Acute Effects of Sceletium tortuosum (Zembrin), a Dual 5-HT Reuptake and PDE4
Inhibitor, in the Human Amygdala and its Connection to the Hypothalamus
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3828542/ A Chewable Cure “Kanna”: Biological and Pharmaceutical Properties of Sceletium
tortuosum https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8124331/
This picture below, can be a great opener in the first stages of acknowledging and
understanding our trauma.
Credit for picture: u/imabritnotayank (Reddit)
Further reading:
You can find a more comprehensive guide on these and other supplements as well as good
places to buy from and save money etc. called: A Short Guide To Using Powerful Healing
Medicines In A Modern Age, on this link. https://fastupload.io/GPMqH19NazVNJNk/file
If the link stops working or if you have any inquiries, reach me on this email, I’ll try answer
within a few days : [email protected]
If you want to donate to our work
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?business=UHL52DQEL5D2C&no\_recurring=0¤cy\_code=USD
bc1qhd28veysgr84xc3r729tdq4d2hgz9rhx9xllcq (BTC)
submitted by Tsetler to StacksForAddiction [link] [comments]
A method of reducing withdrawal,
support tapering and prevent relapse
I dedicate this work to everyone struggling with addiction as well as those, helping the
increasing number of people, out there suffering. From the parent worried sick about their
child, to the healthworkers and professionals each Day fighting to save the lives of those, still
stuck in addiction.
My dear American friend whom I had the pleasure of getting to know and helping to taper
from a severe opiod-addiction, inspired me to write this to share with you.
This information will be of great value, if you’re trying to recover, or currently helping
someone, recover from addiction to: stimulants, opioids and GABAergics.
Here below is a short guide, that summarizes the findings made from Years of experience
working within this field making personalized regimens of supplements with very promising
results.
The individual regimens are all legal, non-toxic, non-addictive, natural and most importantly
based on evidence. They can all be bought or ordered online, at a reasonable cost and self
administered or used alongside other treatments etc.
Introduction:
I wanted to show my appreciation for Woodroofs work and courage making treatments
available back then, fighting for the rights of people, who weren’t offered the best
treatment they knew at the time.
Woodroof is a referal to Ronald Dickson Woodroof (1992) who founded the famous Dallas
Buyers Club which later was made into the movie by the same name. R.D.Woodroof through
the buyers club, distributed medicine to treat Aids during the hardship in the 80’s. Today we
see addiction is killing more people each Year than Aids did when it was most rampant in the
US. Not only OD’s but addiction-related suicide as well as alcoholism is widely spreading,
creating torn apart families and isolated individuals, all who are in dire need of our help.
This story ressonated with me, as I started a non-profit myself about 3 Years ago, where we
collectively bought large amounts of supplements to save money and to get around the
legislation in my country. I would then make personalized blends of these for a lot of cases,
but especially for people struggling with addiction and cases where our psychiatry had failed.
I quickly started getting people referred to me struggling with stimulants, opioids and
GABAergics but were also able to help in a lot cases with somatic diseases and I had to keep
learning and read up on the studies as well as scout the internet for knowledgeable sources.
I was educated as an intercultural and international socialworker, later having studied
anthropology and globalization, although I have no background in medicine, this must be
mentioned.
I suffered a minor TBI (traumatic brain injury) 10 Years ago, and I had to learn, how to
recover from the cognitive issues and did a lot of experimentation and researched neuro
regeneration and supplements for Years which meant I was familiar scouting for resources, reading studies as well as looking for interactions.
I needed to dive deep into the individual effects of minerals, vitamins, amino acids,
adaptogens and nootropics and the different synergies, and found some very interesting
finds regarding possible addiction treatments and support, and I have witnessed some very
promising results.
These following regimens and advice is what I’ve seen having the highest rate of recovery as
well as the lowest rapported issues with relapse, accute withdrawal as well as PAWS (post
accute-withdrawal-symptoms) while and after tapering. Studies are linked beneath each, for
further reading.
If you’re on any other medication or supplements, then either get a medical professional
to look into interactions before trying any of these or if you proceed on your own hand,
make sure either ask on i.e. Reddit / FB groups, or Google substance-x + substance-y +
interactions and do a bit of reading.
I. Opiods
Warning, this blend of supplements potentiates opiates to a high degree, meaning if you’re
on an active taper, then dose lower than you’re used to before trying these, approximately
half your usual dose. It also means you can do a far more rapid taper and use these before,
as well as after, your last dose during the taper, to reduce RLS and PAWS here. When you
hit a wall and your body starts reacting with WD’s, then hover at that dose for a few Days
and then continue cutting down a little less aggressive from there on.
- Bacopa Monnieri Extract_______________________300mg-3000mg pr. Day in 1-4 doses
- Black Seed Oil (Nigella Sativa) ___________________1 tbsp.-3 tbsp. pr. Day in 1-4 doses
- Agmatine ___________________________________500mg-1500mg pr. Day in 1-4 doses
- Vitamin C (Sodium Ascorbate)_____________50mg-100mg pr.kg divided in several doses*
https://ericazelfand.com/vitamin-c-for-opioid-addiction/
If you suffer from hemochromatosis, skip the vitamin c though.
*In some cases where you’re coming off a dangerously high dose of fentanyl or methadone,
then substituting with kratom alongside this regiment can be useful in certain cases, but it
must be said kratom in of itself is an opioid with risk of addiction. It’s the lessor of two evils
though and for some can have benefits, if they can’t get suboxone etc. It will work fine,
alongside this taper as these supplements also potentiates the kratom and suboxone a lot. If
you’re trying to get off kratom the same supplements will help you too.
Bacopa (BM) can require a step by step increase to avoid stomach issues, so start with a low
dose. Some people get slight diarrhea dosing high on BM, so always dose right after a fatty
meal, or just use Psyllium husks and some butteoil before taking the BM, although a large
meal containing fats, is the most effective way mitigating this. Also certain bad extracts
tends to make the diarrhea inevitable even in low doses and with food so if you’re unlucky
to get your hands on a bad extract, try giving another a go before you give up on BM as it is
truly effective when it can get absorbed. Both the vitamin c and the BM needs to get adjusted for by slowly increasing until you reach
bowel tolerance. A meal before, with the fiber and fats seems to shorten this period.
BM in higher doses causes a slight fatigue and some prefer to take 200-500mg of rhodiola
extract early in the Day to counter this because if the rhodiola is taken late, it will hinder
sleep.
Bacopa has a long history of use for opium-addiction in India but have recently been studied
and hailed for it’s effect of diminishing discomfort and reducing WD’s as well as the dose
needed for painrelief etc. Agmatine and BSO also show great potential for reducing WD’s
and managing PAWS as shown in the studies.
I will refer to a few studies here but for more detailed information, I recommend reading or
skimming the PHD dissertation about the potential of bacopa in opioid dependency as well.
For further reading on each supplement Google each + opioid + studies or opiates, and read
about some of the studies or old threads about these.
Effect of bacopa monnieri on morphine dependence and tolerance to analgesia in
animal models (PHD Thesis)
http://prr.hec.gov.pk/jspui/bitstream/123456789/2010/2/1574S.pdf
Effect of Bacopasides on acquisition and expression of morphine tolerance
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/50289046\_Effect\_of\_Bacopasides\_on\_acqui
sition_and_expression_of_morphine_tolerance
A new and novel treatment of opioid dependence: Nigella sativa 500 mg
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19385474/
Thymoquinone: From Nigella sativa to a protective pharmacological compound in
managing opioid dependence and amphetamine type stimulant issues
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7395189/
Effect of agmatine on the development of morphine dependence in rats: potential role
of cAMP system https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15541421/
Agmatine Prevents Adaptation of the Hippocampal Glutamate System in Chronic
Morphine-Treated Rats https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5563829/
Attenuation of heroin withdrawal syndrome by the administration of high-dose vitamin
C
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/236834375\_Attenuation\_of\_heroin\_withdr
awal_syndrome_by_the_administration_of_high-dose_vitamin_C
I recommend to continue this regimen for a while after seizing the last mg’s of opiates as
this prevents relapse by a great deal as well as helps to bring the body back into homeostasis
as bacopa increases synaptogenesis as well. You can skip the high dose vitamin C when
you’re out of the woods and just get a good multivitamin and some omega 3’s to maintain
the effects. The rhodiola also acts as a powerful anti-fatigue and anti-depressant for post
addiction lethargy. Most get great relief from doing this regiment for longer periods as they
report it helps keep them clearminded and manages their cravings for opiates, is what I’ve
experienced from feedback. The doses can easily be lowered to more sustainable levels that will still offer relief from
cravings. On the last page I have some recommendations for other natural compounds with
neuro-regenerative proporties that also reduces cravings for alcohol and drugs that can be
worth looking into to add to, as well as substitute for some of these when you get clean and
free from WD’s again.
II. Stimulants
Warning, do not use mucuna alongside an active taper still using stimulants. You should be
able to stop or do a rapid taper with the others and continue with the mucuna but do so
only, when you’re off the stimulant. In most cases it is easier just to stop and substitute with
this regimen as it will reduce cravings, mental instability as well as physical WD’s very
effectively. Also be aware that polygala potentiates stimulants so dose lower than usual
around 2/3 normal dose and monitor your reactions if you are going to taper off without
mucuna. If any sign of discomfort arises, wait to use polygala also until you’ve tapered down
using the others.
- L-tyrosine____________________________________________500mg-2500mg 1-3 doses
- Bilberry/Blueberry Extract_______________________________300mg-1500mg 1-3 doses
- Polygala Extract_______________________________________ 50mg-200mg 1-3- doses
- Mucuna Extract________________________________________50mg-250mg 1-3 doses
precursor to l-dopa, which helps prevent neurotoxicity to some degree. Bilberry/blueberry
extract also has neuroprotective proporties on the dopaminergic system as shown from the
studies below. It’s best to get bilberry as it contains 4-10x higher the amount of
anthocyanins but a higher dose of blueberry extract will also work. It is though not
recommended to use mucuna for lengthy periods due to risk of neurotoxicity so later, you’ll
be able to, instead drop the mucuna, and add NAC + d-phenylalanine which is a precursor to
the l-tyrosine, alongside the others. This is once you’ve been clean for at least a Week and
managed the most severe craving and WD’s.
In case you’re showing troubling signs of brainaging due to stimulant-use, you can add
bacopa to this stack as well, as evidence is showing it is acting as a powerful neuroprotectant
in meth+mpp induced neurotoxicity and it’s effect of synaptogenesis will aid here, as well.
(https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9414486/)
Pair it with rhodiola 200-500mg if you experience fatigue or depression from the PAWS that
won’t dissapate with the supplements.
Antioxidant-Enriched Diet Affects Early Microglia Accumulation and Promotes
Regeneration of the Striatal Dopamine System after a 6-Hydroxidopamine-Induced
Lesion in a Rat https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.4137/JEN.S10424
Blueberry- and spirulina-enriched diets enhance striatal dopamine recovery and induce
a rapid, transient microglia activation after injury of the rat nigrostriatal dopamine
system https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0014488605002797 Dopamine mediated antidepressant effect of Mucuna pruriens seeds in various
experimental models of depression
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4213977/
Neuro-Cognitive Effects of Acute Tyrosine Administration on Reactive and Proactive
Response Inhibition in Healthy Older Adults
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6084775/
Tyrosine influence on amphetamine self-administration and brain catecholamines in the
rat https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3786355/
Effects of dietary tyrosine on L-dopa- and amphetamine-induced changes in locomotor
activity and neurochemistry in mice https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2080188/
Polygalasaponins effective against antipsychotic treatment
https://patents.google.com/patent/KR100378323B1/en
Antidepressant Principles of the Roots of Polygala tenuifolia
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/6804019\_Antidepressant\_Principles\_of\_the
_Roots_of_Polygala_tenuifolia
Hypothesizing Balancing Endorphinergic and Glutaminergic Systems to Treat and
Prevent Relapse to Reward Deficiency Behaviors: Coupling D-Phenylalanine and N
Acetyl-L-Cysteine (NAC) as a Novel Therapeutic Modality
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4760695/
I also recommend you continue this regiment for as long as you experience cravings or fear
you might relapse. Just switch the mucuna after the critical phase and instead use NAC + d
phenylalanine and perhaps bacopa if there’s some damages from a long period of addiction.
You will easily be able to find a lower or even a higher, functioning dose of the supplements
that suits your need for repair and relief. The most important part is you move further and
further away from relapse and get the natural energy and drive to get back into a healthy
lifestyle again. In general people I learn who’ve forgotten or stopped their supplements,
after they get clean, tends to relapse, way more often, than those who keep their regimens.
So use this for as long as needed and read the part about alcohol and managing cravings
down at the bottom. If you feel some resistance to using supplements or want to learn more
about other kinds of medicine like these, I advice you to download the free guide, linked to
at the last page.
III. GABA
’ergics
Warning, don’t completely seize your use of benzodiazepines abrubtly. Plan a careful taper
as risk of seizures can be highly dangerous, especially in the higher dose-range. This regimen
will potentiate benzodiazepines also, as well so be aware to dose lower in the beginning
until you get a sense of how much potentiation, for the benzo, you’re currently on.
Approximately to 1/2 and then if WD’s kick in dose a bit higher until you feel okay and if you
get high vice versa. If you’re using a benzo that is metabolized fast like alprazolam it can be
worth to slowly adjust and start using a benzo with a longer half life like clonazapam and
diazapam to better be able to cut doses and not worry about getting into WD’s at every hour. Emoxypine________________________________________100mg-500mg 1-3 doses pr.Day
Agmatine_________________________________________500mg-1500mg 1-3 doses pr.Day
Magnolia Bark Extract_______________________________200mg-800mg 1-3 doses pr. Day
Black Seed Oil (Nigella Sativa)______________________1 tbsp.-3 tbsp. 1-3 doses pr. Day
*This also works for gabapentenoids like (Gabapentin, Pregabalin and Phenibut) but if
you’re tapering down from a high dose phenibut, you might also benefit by substituting 1g
of phenibut with 10mg baclofen in that ratio. This regimen will make you able to taper fast
and effective down from the baclofen too.
Glutamate surges from excitotoxicity when tapering, often creates severe adrenal fatigue,
mental instablity and wearyness, after a while and here it is also important to make sure to
get a enough vitamin b6 and you’ll also be able try kava, NAC and l-theanine, alongside this,
to prevent these symptoms. Magnolia modulates GABA-a but there’s not many studies on
emoxypine even though safety has been well-established. Regarding emoxypine, you can
find a wide arrange of user reports that backs it’s efficiency in tapering which were
confirmed from my own observations.
All of these together, can bring a bit symptoms of fatigue due to the combined effects of the
supplements. If this becomes an issue take 200-500mg of rhodiola extract early in the Day to
counter this because if the rhodiola is taken late, it will hinder sleep. Lemon balm and
magnesium glycinate can be a help in getting some sleep, in certain phases in the WD’s if
you taper aggressively.
Use this like the other regimens for as long as you need the support and when you’re
completely off all benzodiazepines and stabilized, then you can switch the magnolia extract
to sabroxy extract, and this will help your brain heal faster due to increased BDNF,
neurogenesis as well as synaptogenesis. Bacopa too has effects of synaptogenesis and will
help mitigating symptoms of alcohol WD and craving and can be useful to add, once you’re
off as well.
Benzo induced neurological dysfynction (BIND) can require more of the neuro-regenerative
effects in general and higher doses. I suggest you download the free guide, linked to at the
last page, and look into, sabroxy, polygala, bacopa, sulforaphane, emoxypine and the
neuropeptides as a start.
Agmatine Inhibit The Tolerance To The Anxiolytic Effect Of Diazepam In Rats
https://www.semanticscholar.org/papeAgmatine-Inhibit-The-Tolerance-To-The
Anxiolytic-Of-Patel-Bhartiya/077ecdcea512f2298acc528f3d70944c04e8c01f
Magnolol, a major bioactive constituent of the bark of Magnolia officinalis, induces
sleep via the benzodiazepine site of GABAA receptor in mice
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0028390812002894
Effect of Magnolia officinalis and Phellodendron amurense (Relora (R)) on cortisol and
psychological mood state in moderately stressed subjects
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/255705487\_Effect\_of\_Magnolia\_officinalis\_
and_Phellodendron_amurense_Relora_R_on_cortisol_and_psychological_mood_state_
in_moderately_stressed_subjects Promising effects of emoxypine and its succinate derivative in the management of
various diseases-with insights on recent patent applications
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9389226/
[The results of the study of the efficacy and safety of mexidol in patients with chronic
cerebral ischemia] (Mexidol = Emoxypine) https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26081329/
Kava as an anticraving agent: preliminary data
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/11205899\_Kava\_as\_an\_anticraving\_agent\_
preliminary_data
Bacopa monnieri abrogates alcohol abstinence-induced anxiety-like behavior by
regulating biochemical and Gabra1, Gabra4, Gabra5 gene expression of GABAA receptor
signaling pathway in rats
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0753332218383914
III. I.Alcohol
Dealing with alcoholism often get’s tricky as this is tied deeply into culture as well as
patterns of engaging in much needed socializing.
This regimen of supplements might be able to reduce most of the cravings and help with
many of the issues from a physiological point of view. While on the other hand, the isolation
and mental toll it takes to step outside of the festivities, often tend to push people back into
drinking or worse even, into drugs.
Kava shows some very promising results being a positive allosteric modulator of the GABA-a
receptor which means it doesn’t have much addiction potential at all, yet mimicks a lot of
the effects from alcohol. In a lot places now, people are beginning to bring kava for
themselves for going to parties, to manage social anxiety and peer-preassure as well as
experiencing the enjoyment of being a part of the letting loose.
Kava has shown to act as a powerful anti-cravings agent as shown in the study below, not
only for alcohol but most drug of choices tested on the group.
My anecdotal observations:
Most people who’ve gotten clean, functional and even stopped drinking due to it leading
them to do drugs, often told me about them getting a nagging evening restlessness. In
general how it would get their head spinning about relapsing just once etc.
Those who tried kava all reported that it took away that sense of craving and it helped them
relax and unwind when they got stressed enough to begin fantasizing about drugs and
alcohol. Some of those who didn’t want the kava, managed to stay clean, while others
unfortunately found themselves, slip a few times.
But they often reported, that having the supplements and knowing the way back, kept them
getting back to living clean very quickly after.
A theory of this is, could be due to the role alcohol and cannabis has played for thousands of
Years perhaps, being incoded in our biology, to come to a point where the need, for just
some kind of recreational effects for some, becomes highly unbearable to cope with.
This is why I often advice people in risk, to get to learn about kava and have at least a little
bag of instant/micronized kava lying around, so they know they’ll be able to push the panic
button on the accute cravings.
The point of kava being highly adviced as the lessor of two evils is displayed in these
infographics here: (https://sci-hub.st/10.1177/0269881119841569) Kava and safety:
Kava got a bad stain from back in the 90’s when some medicinal companies bought up a
kava-company and shortly after started making acetone extracts of leaves and stems which
wasn’t allowed. A few cases with people with pre-existing liver issues and even alcoholism
and medication on the side, in a rare instants experienced hepatoxicity and the pharmaceutical industry, in a collective effort, blew it out proportions. The most likely cause
of this, is hypothesized to be, the rapid increase, in loss of sales of benzodiazepines and
addictive sleeping medication, which they began seeing as kava increased in popularity back
in the late 90’s. Multiple peer-reviewed studies have since put these claims to rest, and
these are linked to beneath. As a comparison acetylsalicylic acid, also known as aspirin, was
actually found, to be more dangerous than kava.
“Kava Lebertoxisch?” DAZ.online. https://www.deutsche-apotheker-zeitung.de/.../uid-
“A Plant Kavalactone Desmethoxyyangonin Prevents Inflammation and Fulminant
Hepatitis in Mice.” https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0077626.
“Kava Feeding in Rats Does Not Cause Liver Injury nor Enhance Galactosamine-Induced
Hepatitis.” . https://doi.org/10.1016/j.fct.2007.01.015.
“Lack of Evidence of Kava-Related Hepatotoxicity in Native Populations in Savaii,
Samoa.” https://www.herbalgram.org/media/12000/issue59.pdf.
“Yangonin Protects against Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease through Farnesoid X
Receptor.” Phytomedicine: International Journal of Phytotherapy and
Phytopharmacology https://doi.org/10.1016/j.phymed.2018.09.006.
“Effects of Kava Root Extract on the Liver Morphology of c57bl-6 Mus Musculus Mice.”
“Anxiolytic Action and Safety of Kava: Effect on Rat Brain Acetylcholinesterase Activity
and Some Serum Biochemical Parameters. http://dx.doi.org/.
“Chemical and in Vitro Toxicity Analysis of a Supercritical Fluid Extract of Kava Kava
(Piper Methysticum).” https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jep.2019.01.032.
“Flavokawains A and B from Kava (Piper Methysticum) Activate Heat Shock and
Antioxidant Responses and Protect against Hydrogen Peroxide-Induced Cell Death in
HepG2 Hepatocytes.” https://doi.org/10.3109/13880209.2015.1107104.
“Aqueous Kava Extracts Do Not Affect Liver Function Tests in
Rats.” https://doi.org/10.1055/s-2003-40658.
“Safety of Ethanolic Kava Extract: Results of a Study of Chronic Toxicity in Rats.”
Phytomedicine: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.phymed.2006.01.006.
“Kava Hepatotoxicity: Comparative Study of Two Structured Quantitative Methods for
Causality Assessment.” . https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2710.2009.01131.x.
Finishing words:
Reintegrating your lifepath back into your original flowstate again, can be difficult, as all
addiction tends to originate from trauma of some sort, but also create a lot of trauma in of
itself. Most of us, are also carriers of multiple generations of traumatic experiences and all of this, if not treated, will hinder our journey into the higher levels of emotional and spiritual
growth. These regimens can provide us with a long window of opportunity to begin to find
your way back into progressing with a healthy lifestyle. But if the addiction-issue, is taken
lightly, and given enough time, the signs of trauma’s will come clawing their way back and
have you risk relapse.
I see a lot, find great comfort in religious community with a strong faith as well as evolving
values of reciprocity to newcomers. Some start to exercise a lot and eat healthy again, as
well as reach out to new friendgroups. Some show great benefits from getting therapy or
counseling for that extra assistance in unraveling, certain kinds of severe trauma. Others go
into Eastern and spiritual practices like Qigong and Yoga and start to meditate. A
combination of all of these would be ideal, but focus on one step at a time. There are many
paths back to healing and a good marker for progression here, is if your eyes are getting
kinder, your voice is becoming softer and you begin to feel and see the traumas, of others,
and wants to be in service of some sort.
A short story we can use to remind ourselves.
A long time ago, a therapist explained to me.
"Once a woman told me that she would always love being intimate with her husband
because then after that his eyes would be mild and kind.
A man then told me how he loved making his wife laugh, because after that, her voice
would become soft and playful.
Lastly a young child told me, how the child loved being around and being in service to the
parents, because after that, they would listen and stay present, just as ready to cry with
them as to laugh with the them.
Counter-intuitive strategies
For those who at some point will seek out, some kind of therapy this here beneath, might be
worth knowing.
PTSD therapy offers relief for around 20% of people with PTSD, while MDMA-facilitated
therapy shows results of around 80% instead. If you suffer from PTSD or severe trauma, and
you can’t get this therapy where you’re at, using kanna extract (preferably MT55) and
getting a good therapist to work with, will help you up the percentages. This is because
kanna works very similarly to MDMA. Just let the therapist know politely, that you’re
supplementing with a herbal extract while you’re there, to treat your anxiety, and most will
have no issues with this.
The promising aspect of this, is that now, you can have Weekly sessions instead of having to
wait 2-3 Months in between each, as with MDMA due to sideeffects and toxicity. Although
be careful that the euforic effects of kanna doesn’t act as a trigger so be mindful about this
before proceeding.
The safety and efficacy of ±3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine-assisted
psychotherapy in subjects with chronic, treatment-resistant posttraumatic stress
disorder: the first randomized controlled pilot study
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3122379/
Acute Effects of Sceletium tortuosum (Zembrin), a Dual 5-HT Reuptake and PDE4
Inhibitor, in the Human Amygdala and its Connection to the Hypothalamus
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3828542/ A Chewable Cure “Kanna”: Biological and Pharmaceutical Properties of Sceletium
tortuosum https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8124331/
This picture below, can be a great opener in the first stages of acknowledging and
understanding our trauma.
Credit for picture: u/imabritnotayank (Reddit)
Further reading:
You can find a more comprehensive guide on these and other supplements as well as good
places to buy from and save money etc. called: A Short Guide To Using Powerful Healing
Medicines In A Modern Age, on this link. https://fastupload.io/GPMqH19NazVNJNk/file
If the link stops working or if you have any inquiries, reach me on this email, I’ll try answer
within a few days : [email protected]
If you want to donate to our work
https://www.paypal.com/donate/?business=UHL52DQEL5D2C&no\_recurring=0¤cy\_code=USD
bc1qhd28veysgr84xc3r729tdq4d2hgz9rhx9xllcq (BTC)
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| Ship manufacturer | Ship model | Insurance | Price (CCU-d), $ | Price (Original sale), $ |
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| - | Carrack W/C8X | LTI | 461 | - |
| - | Carrack Expedition | LTI | 468 | - |
| - | Carrack Expedition W/C8X | LTI | 489 | - |
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| - | Valkyrie | LTI | 368 | - |
| Banu | Merchantman | LTI | 420 | - |
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| - | Mustang Gamma | LTI | 74 | - |
| - | Mustang Delta | LTI | 84 | - |
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| - | Genesis Starliner | LTI | 368 | 578 |
| - | C2 Hercules | LTI | 378 | - |
| - | M2 Hercules | LTI | 504 | - |
| - | A2 Hercules | LTI | 756 | - |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | LTI | 273 | - |
| Drake Interplanetary | Dragonfly Yellowjacket | LTI | - | 84 |
| - | Dragonfly Black | LTI | - | 84 |
| - | Dragonfly Ride Together Two-Pack | LTI | - | 126 |
| - | Buccaneer | LTI | 126 | 142 |
| - | Caterpillar | LTI | 336 | - |
| - | Caterpillar Best in Show Edition | LTI | 347 | - |
| - | Corsair | LTI | 263 | - |
| - | Cutlass Black | LTI | 116 | - |
| - | Cutlass Black Best in Show Edition | LTI | 126 | - |
| - | Cutlass Steel | LTI | 221 | - |
| - | Cutlass Red | LTI | 142 | - |
| - | Cutlass Blue | LTI | 168 | - |
| - | Herald | LTI | 111 | - |
| - | Vulture | LTI | 158 | - |
| Esperia | Vanduul Blade | LTI | 284 | 326 |
| - | Vanduul Glaive | LTI | 373 | - |
| - | Prowler | LTI | 420 | 510 |
| - | Talon | LTI | 132 | - |
| - | Talon Shrike | LTI | 132 | - |
| Gatac | Railen | LTI | 242 | - |
| Greycat Industrial | ROC | LTI | 77 | - |
| Kruger Intergalactic | P-72 Archimedes | LTI | - | 100 |
| MISC | Endeavor BASE | LTI | 378 | - |
| - | Endeavor DISCOVERY-CLASS | LTI | - | 683 |
| - | Endeavor Master Set 2018 | LTI | - | 1399 |
| - | Freelancer | LTI | 121 | - |
| - | Freelancer DUR | LTI | 147 | - |
| - | Freelancer MAX | LTI | 163 | - |
| - | Freelancer MIS | LTI | 184 | - |
| - | HULL A | LTI | 99 | - |
| - | HULL B | LTI | 147 | 158 |
| - | HULL C | LTI | 357 | - |
| - | HULL D | LTI | 462 | - |
| - | Odyssey | LTI | 609 | - |
| - | Razor | LTI | 163 | 179 |
| - | Razor LX | LTI | 168 | - |
| - | Razor EX | LTI | 174 | - |
| - | Prospector | LTI | 163 | 179 |
| - | Reliant Kore (Mini Hauler) | LTI | 84 | 105 |
| - | Reliant Tana (Skirmisher) | LTI | 95 | - |
| - | Reliant Mako (News Van) | LTI | 121 | - |
| - | Reliant Sen (Researcher) | LTI | 105 | - |
| - | Starfarer | LTI | 315 | 399 |
| - | Starfarer Gemini | LTI | 347 | 452 |
| Origin Jumpworks | X1 Baseline | LTI | - | 69 |
| - | X1 Velocity | LTI | - | 74 |
| - | X1 Force | LTI | - | 79 |
| - | M50 | LTI | 121 | 147 |
| - | 85X | LTI | - | 79 |
| - | 100I | LTI | 74 | 95 |
| - | 125A | LTI | 79 | - |
| - | 135C | LTI | 84 | - |
| - | 300I | LTI | 77 | - |
| - | 315P | LTI | 77 | - |
| - | 325A | LTI | 93 | - |
| - | 350R | LTI | 137 | - |
| - | 400i | LTI | 265 | - |
| - | 600i Touring | LTI | 420 | 525 |
| - | 600i Exploration | LTI | 441 | 580 |
| RSI | Aurora CL | LTI | 74 | - |
| - | Apollo Triage | LTI | 268 | - |
| - | Apollo Medivac | LTI | 294 | - |
| - | Mantis | LTI | 168 | - |
| - | Perseus | LTI | 583 | - |
| - | Polaris | LTI | 777 | 999 |
| - | Constellation Taurus | LTI | 179 | - |
| - | Constellation Andromeda | LTI | 252 | 315 |
| - | Constellation Aquila | LTI | 321 | - |
| - | Orion | LTI | 489 | - |
►7◄ PLANETARY VEHICLES & COMBO PACKAGES
╚══════════════════════════════════════════╝
| Vehicle | Insurance | Price (CCU-d), $ | Price (Concept), $ | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Anvil Ballista | LTI | 153 | - | |
| Consolodated Outland HoverQuad | LTI | - | 80 | - |
| Greycat PTV | 6YI | 27 | - | |
| Greycat PTV | 10YI | 37 | - | |
| Origin G12 | LTI | 74 | - | - |
| Origin G12R | LTI | 79 | 84 | - |
| Origin G12A | LTI | 84 | 89 | - |
| Tumbril Cyclone | LTI | 74 | Base version | |
| Tumbril Cyclone-TR | LTI | 79 | With ground turret | |
| Tumbril Cyclone-RC | LTI | 79 | Speedster | |
| Tumbril Cyclone-AA | LTI | 95 | Anti-air + countermeasures | |
| Tumbril Cyclone-RN | LTI | 79 | Scout & Scan | |
| Tumbril Ranger RC | LTI | 95 | Racer | |
| Tumbril Ranger CV | LTI | 100 | 116 | Offroad |
| Tumbril Ranger TR | LTI | 100 | With Gun | |
| Tumbril Nova | LTI | 126 | 132 | Tank |
| RSI URSA Rover | 5YI | 63 | - | |
| RSI URSA Rover Fortuna | LTI | 74 | Limited green skin edition |
►8.1◄ MODULES, PODS, BATTLEFIELD UPGRADE KITS (BUKS), OTHER ITEMS
╚═══════════════════════════════════════════════╝
| Module | Insurance | Price, $ |
|---|---|---|
| MISC Endeavor Modules (Pods) | - | - |
| FUEL POD | LTI | 137 |
| BIODOME POD | LTI | 242 |
| TELESCOPE ARRAY POD | LTI | 242 |
| Aegis Vanguard battlefield upgrade kits | ||
| Sentinel battlefield upgrade kit | LTI | 130 |
| Harbinger battlefield upgrade kit | LTI | 140 |
| Retaliator modules | ||
| Retaliator cargo rear module | LTI | 99 |
| Retaliator rear torpedo bay | 24MI | 120 |
| Retaliator front torpedo bay | 24MI | 120 |
| Other stuff | ||
| Add-ons - Aegis Idris P after market kit | - | 294 |
►8.2 ◄ FPS WEAPONS, ARMOR, CLOTHES AND OTHER GEAR
╚════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
| Module | Insurance | Price, $ |
|---|---|---|
| Overlord "Dust Storm" Armor Set | - | 11 |
| Overlord "Riptide" Armor Set | - | 11 |
| Overlord Helmets "Silent Strike" Pack | - | 8 |
| Overlord Helmets "Forces of Nature" Pack | - | 8 |
| Parasite Replica Helmet (Original) | - | 11 |
| Parasite Replica Helmet (Dark Birth) | - | 11 |
| Stegman's Cordimon "Voyager" Complete Outfit | - | 11 |
| Stegman's IndVest “Pathfinder” Complete Outfit | - | 11 |
| RSI MacFlex Rust Society full armor set (5 items) | - | 21 |
| RSI Venture Rust Society full armor set (5 items) | - | 32 |
| Mr. Refinement’s Cabinet of Rare & Exquisite Spirits | - | 11 |
| Life in the 'Verse Shirts Pack #1 | - | 5 |
| Life in the 'Verse Shirts Pack #2 | - | 5 |
| "Caudillo" Helmets Pack #1 by CC's Conversions | - | 8 |
| "Caudillo" Helmets Pack #2 by CC's Conversions | - | 8 |
| "Caudillo" Helmets Pack #3 by CC's Conversions | - | 8 |
| QuikFlarePro Pack | - | 5 |
| QuikFlarePro Pack Deluxe | - | 6 |
| Polar Vortex Collection | - | 7 |
| Cold Front Collection | - | 7 |
| UltiFlex FSK-8 "Mirage" Combat Knife | - | 5 |
| UltiFlex FSK-8 "Ghost" Combat Knife | - | 5 |
| Urban Collection by Element Authority | - | 11 |
| Adventurer Collection by Element Authority | - | 11 |
| Manaslu Rust Society Jacket | - | 8 |
| RSI Horizon Rust Society Helmet | - | 8 |
| RSI Beacon Rust Society Undersuit | - | 6 |
| Paladin helmet | - | 10 |
►9◄ CROSS-CHASSIS UPGRADES (CCUS), SHIPS
╚════════════════════════════════════════╝
IAE-insurance upgrades (adds IAE insurance (10 years) to your ship)
| Upgrade | Price, $ |
|---|---|
| Prospector to F7C-M Super Hornet | 50 |
| Vanguard Warden to Caterpillar | 60 |
| Target ship manufacturer | Target ship | Upgrade from | Price, $ |
|---|---|---|---|
| Aegis Dynamics | Avenger Titan Renegade | 325A | 18 |
| - | Avenger Warlock | 325A | 29 |
| - | Avenger Warlock | Arrow | 26 |
| - | Eclipse | Constellation Andromeda | 78 |
| - | Eclipse | Vanguard Sentinel | 37 |
| - | Eclipse | Vanguard Warden | 53 |
| - | Eclipse | Blade | 37 |
| - | Gladius Valiant | Cutlass Black | 22 |
| - | Gladius Valiant | M50 | 23 |
| - | Hammerhead | Constellation Aquila | 483 |
| - | Hammerhead | 600i Touring | 357 |
| - | Hammerhead | 600i Explorer | 315 |
| - | Hammerhead | Merchantman | 131 |
| - | Hammerhead | Hull D | 341 |
| - | Hammerhead | Crucible | 446 |
| - | Hammerhead | Carrack | 278 |
| - | Hammerhead | Reclaimer | 383 |
| - | Hammerhead | Prowler | 351 |
| - | Hammerhead | Orion | 210 |
| - | Hammerhead | Glaive | 446 |
| - | Hammerhead | A2 Hercules | 52 |
| - | Nautilus | Constellation Aquila | 467 |
| - | Nautilus | Endeavor | 425 |
| - | Nautilus | Crucible | 425 |
| - | Nautilus | Genesis Starliner | 372 |
| - | Nautilus | M2 Hercules | 246 |
| - | Nautilus | Merchantman | 110 |
| - | Nautilus | A2 Hercules | 57 |
| - | Nautilus | 600i Explorer | 294 |
| - | Nautilus | 600i Touring | 336 |
| - | Nautilus | Orion | 189 |
| - | Nautilus | Prowler | 330 |
| - | Nautilus | Carrack | 278 |
| - | Nautilus | Reclaimer | 372 |
| - | Nautilus | Hull D | 320 |
| - | Nautilus | C2 Hercules | 372 |
| - | Nautilus | Valkyrie | 399 |
| - | Reclaimer | Constellation Aquila | 115 |
| - | Reclaimer | Starfarer Gemini | 84 |
| - | Reclaimer | Endeavor | 73 |
| - | Reclaimer | Crucible | 73 |
| - | Redeemer | Constellation Andromeda | 78 |
| - | Redeemer | Vanguard Hoplite | 84 |
| - | Redeemer | Mole | 26 |
| - | Retaliator Bomber | Constellation Andromeda | 57 |
| - | Retaliator Base | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 25 |
| - | Sabre | Prospector | 31 |
| - | Sabre | Gladiator | 16 |
| - | Sabre Comet | Sabre | 31 |
| - | Sabre Comet | Freelancer MIS | 26 |
| - | Sabre Comet | Khartu-Al | 31 |
| - | Sabre Comet | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 23 |
| - | Sabre Comet | Gladiator | 35 |
| - | Sabre Comet | F7C-M Super Hornet | 20 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Constellation Andromeda | 68 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Retaliator Bomber | 31 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Vanguard Sentinel | 26 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Vanguard Hoplite | 73 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Vanguard Warden | 42 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | Constellation Taurus | 59 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | San'Tok.Yai | 28 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | Defender | 28 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | Corsair | -3 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | 54 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | Hurricane | 54 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | Terrapin | 28 |
| - | Vanguard Sentinel | Constellation Andromeda | 52 |
| - | Vanguard Sentinel | Vanguard Warden | 31 |
| - | Vanguard Warden | Constellation Andromeda | 31 |
| - | Vanguard Warden | Vanguard Hoplite | 40 |
| - | Vulcan | Constellation Taurus | 25 |
| - | Vulcan | Prospector | 61 |
| Anvil Aerospace | Carrack | Constellation Aquila | 273 |
| - | Carrack | Mole | 320 |
| - | Carrack | M2 Hercules | 99 |
| - | Carrack | 600i Explorer | 147 |
| - | Carrack | 600i Touring | 189 |
| - | Carrack | Orion | 42 |
| - | Carrack | Prowler | 183 |
| - | Carrack | Reclaimer | 225 |
| - | Carrack | Genesis Starliner | 225 |
| - | Carrack | Valkyrie | 215 |
| - | Carrack | C2 Hercules | 189 |
| - | Carrack | Hull D | 178 |
| - | Carrack | Merchantman | -31 |
| - | Carrack | Endeavor | 283 |
| - | Carrack | Crucible | 283 |
| - | Carrack | Starfarer Gemini | 294 |
| - | Carrack W/C8X | Carrack | 55 |
| - | Carrack Expedition | Carrack | 60 |
| - | Carrack Expedition | Carrack W/C8X | 40 |
| - | Carrack Expedition W/C8X | Carrack | 80 |
| - | Carrack Expedition W/C8X | Carrack W/C8X | 73 |
| - | Carrack Expedition W/C8X | Carrack Expedition | 68 |
| - | Crucible | Starfarer Gemini | 26 |
| - | Crucible | Constellation Aquila | 99 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | Prospector | 37 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | Khartu-AL | 22 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 16 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | Gladiator | 27 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | Freelancer MIS | 16 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | Sabre | 22 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | Razor EX | 37 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Constellation Taurus | 21 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Freelancer MAX | 63 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Prospector | 57 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Razor EX | 57 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Gladiator | 47 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Khartu-AL | 42 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Sabre | 42 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Sabre Comet | 26 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 36 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Freelancer MIS | 36 |
| - | F7C Hornet Wildfire | Prospector | 31 |
| - | F7C Hornet Wildfire | Khartu-Al | 16 |
| - | F7C Hornet Wildfire | Gladiator | 22 |
| - | F7C Hornet Wildfire | Sabre | 16 |
| - | Gladiator | Prospector | 21 |
| - | Hawk | Gladius | 21 |
| - | Hurricane | Constellation Taurus | 16 |
| - | Hurricane | Prospector | 53 |
| - | Hurricane | Gladiator | 43 |
| - | Hurricane | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 32 |
| - | Hurricane | F7C-M Super Hornet | 27 |
| - | Hurricane | Freelancer MIS | 32 |
| - | Hurricane | Sabre | 37 |
| - | Hurricane | Sabre Comet | 22 |
| - | Hurricane | Khartu-Al | 37 |
| - | Terrapin | Prospector | 84 |
| - | Terrapin | Constellation Taurus | 44 |
| - | Terrapin | Freelancer MAX | 86 |
| - | Terrapin | F7C-M Super Hornet | 57 |
| - | Terrapin | Freelancer MIS | 63 |
| - | Terrapin | Vulcan | 36 |
| - | Terrapin | Gladiator | 73 |
| - | Terrapin | Khartu-Al | 65 |
| - | Terrapin | Sabre | 65 |
| - | Valkyrie | Constellation Aquila | 84 |
| - | Valkyrie | Endeavor | 42 |
| - | Valkyrie | Starfarer Gemini | 52 |
| - | Valkyrie | Crucible | 42 |
| - | Valkyrie | Glaive | 42 |
| Aopoa (Xi'an) | Khartu-Al | Prospector | 29 |
| - | Khartu-Al | Freelancer MAX | 31 |
| - | Nox | Aurora LN | 27 |
| - | Nox | Dragonfly Black | 15 |
| - | Nox | Dragonfly Yellowjacket | 15 |
| - | Nox | MPUV Cargo | 27 |
| - | Nox Kue | Aurora LN | 23 |
| - | Nox Kue | Dragonfly Black | 15 |
| - | Nox Kue | Dragonfly Yellowjacket | 15 |
| - | Nox Kue | Mustang Beta | 15 |
| - | Nox Kue | MPUV Personnel | 15 |
| - | Nox Kue | X1 Baseline | 15 |
| - | Nox Kue | MPUV Cargo | 22 |
| - | San'Tok.Yai | Constellation Taurus | 46 |
| - | San'Tok.Yai | Hurricane | 40 |
| - | San'Tok.Yai | Vulcan | 35 |
| ARGO Astronautics | MPUV Personnel | Aurora LN | 15 |
| - | MPUV Cargo | Mustang Alpha | 15 |
| - | SRV | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 21 |
| - | SRV | Vulture | 21 |
| - | SRV | Razor | 15 |
| Banu | Merchantman | Mole | 239 |
| - | Merchantman | Starfarer Gemini | 220 |
| - | Merchantman | Prowler | 231 |
| - | Merchantman | 600i Touring | 236 |
| - | Merchantman | 600i Explorer | 194 |
| - | Merchantman | Genesis Starliner | 273 |
| - | Defender | Constellation Taurus | 42 |
| - | Defender | Retaliator Base | 84 |
| - | Defender | Cutlass Blue | 57 |
| - | Defender | Freelancer MIS | 65 |
| - | Defender | Gladiator | 70 |
| - | Defender | Khartu-Al | 65 |
| - | Defender | Sabre | 65 |
| - | Defender | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 59 |
| - | Defender | F7C-M Super Hornet | 55 |
| Consolidated outland | Mustang Delta | Mustang Gamma | 22 |
| - | Mustang Delta | Avenger Stalker | 15 |
| Crusader Industries | Genesis Starliner | Constellation Aquila | 120 |
| - | Genesis Starliner | Endeavor | 73 |
| - | Ares Inferno | Constellation Andromeda | 26 |
| - | Ares Ion | Constellation Andromeda | 26 |
| - | A2 Hercules | 600i Touring | 341 |
| - | A2 Hercules | 600i Explorer | 299 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Carrack | 273 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Constellation Aquila | 472 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Crucible | 430 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Endeavor | 430 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Hull D | 325 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Merchantman | 115 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Orion | 194 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Prowler | 336 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Reclaimer | 378 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Starfarer Gemini | 451 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Constellation Aquila | 115 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Valkyrie | 47 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Crucible | 73 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Endeavor | 73 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Glaive | 73 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Starfarer Gemini | 84 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Constellation Aquila | 241 |
| - | M2 Hercules | 600i Touring | 110 |
| - | M2 Hercules | 600i Explorer | 68 |
| - | M2 Hercules | C2 Hercules | 147 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Crucible | 199 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Endeavor | 199 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Genesis Starliner | 147 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Hull D | 94 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Prowler | 105 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Reclaimer | 147 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Starfarer Gemini | 210 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Prospector | 120 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | San'tok.yai | 52 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Defender | 52 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 99 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | F7C-M Super Hornet | 94 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Freelancer MIS | 99 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Hurricane | 78 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Khartu-Al | 105 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Razor EX | 120 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Sabre Comet | 89 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Sabre | 105 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Terrapin | 52 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Vulcan | 73 |
| Drake Interplanetary | Buccaneer | Cutlass Black | 21 |
| - | Caterpillar | Constellation Andromeda | 116 |
| - | Caterpillar | Constellation Aquila | 36 |
| - | Caterpillar | Retaliator Bomber | 78 |
| - | Caterpillar | Redeemer | 26 |
| - | Corsair | Prospector | 115 |
| - | Corsair | Constellation Taurus | 78 |
| - | Corsair | Freelancer MAX | 120 |
| - | Corsair | Freelancer MIS | 94 |
| - | Corsair | Sabre | 99 |
| - | Corsair | Sabre Comet | 84 |
| - | Corsair | Gladiator | 105 |
| - | Corsair | F7C-M Super Hornet | 89 |
| - | Corsair | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | 73 |
| - | Corsair | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 94 |
| - | Corsair | Vulcan | 68 |
| - | Corsair | Hurricane | 73 |
| - | Corsair | Razor EX | 115 |
| - | Corsair | Khartu-Al | 99 |
| - | Cutlass Black BIS | Gladius | 42 |
| - | Cutlass Blue | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 47 |
| - | Cutlass Blue | Razor | 36 |
| - | Cutlass Blue | Prospector | 31 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Constellation Taurus | 57 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Railen | 21 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | San'tok.yai | 26 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Defender | 26 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Terrapin | 26 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Corsair | -5 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Vulcan | 47 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Hurricane | 52 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | 52 |
| - | Dragonfly Black | Aurora LN | 15 |
| - | Dragonfly Black | MPUV Cargo | 15 |
| - | Herald | 325A | 26 |
| - | Herald | Avenger Titan Renegade | 21 |
| - | Vulture | Freelancer DUR | 15 |
| Esperia | Blade | Constellation Andromeda | 52 |
| - | Glaive | Constellation Aquila | 99 |
| - | Glaive | Starfarer Gemini | 63 |
| - | Talon | Gladius | 36 |
| - | Talon | Reliant Mako (News Van) | 31 |
| - | Talon Shrike | Gladius | 36 |
| - | Talon Shrike | Reliant Mako (News Van) | 31 |
| - | Prowler | Constellation Aquila | 162 |
| - | Prowler | Reclaimer | 68 |
| - | Prowler | Genesis Starliner | 68 |
| - | Prowler | Endeavor | 120 |
| - | Prowler | Crucible | 120 |
| - | Prowler | 600i Touring | 42 |
| MISC | Freelancer MIS | Prospector | 32 |
| - | Freelancer MIS | Freelancer MAX | 37 |
| - | Freelancer MIS | Gladiator | 22 |
| - | Freelancer MIS | Sabre | 16 |
| - | Freelancer MIS | Razor EX | 32 |
| - | Endeavor | Constellation Aquila | 84 |
| - | Endeavor | Starfarer Gemini | 52 |
| - | Hull A | 300I | 36 |
| - | Hull A | Mustang Gamma | 36 |
| - | Hull B | 325A | 94 |
| - | Hull C | Constellation Andromeda | 136 |
| - | Hull D | Constellation Aquila | 178 |
| - | Hull D | Starfarer Gemini | 157 |
| - | Razor | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 15 |
| - | Razor LX | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 21 |
| - | Razor LX | Razor | 15 |
| - | Razor EX | Freelancer MAX | 15 |
| - | Razor EX | SRV | 15 |
| - | Razor EX | Retaliator Base | 15 |
| - | Razor EX | Razor LX | 15 |
| - | Reliant Tana (Skirmisher) | 325a | 15 |
| - | Reliant Sen (Researcher) | Arrow | 21 |
| - | Reliant Mako (News Van) | Gladius | 15 |
| - | Starfarer | Constellation Andromeda | 76 |
| - | Starfarer | Vanguard Warden | 55 |
| - | Starfarer | Vanguard Harbinger | 24 |
| - | Starfarer | Vanguard Sentinel | 39 |
| - | Starfarer | Vanguard Hoplite | 81 |
| - | Starfarer | Blade | 39 |
| - | Starfarer | Retaliator Bomber | 39 |
| - | Starfarer | Apollo Medivac | 39 |
| - | Starfarer Gemini | Constellation Aquila | 63 |
| - | Starfarer Gemini | Mole | 47 |
| Origin Jumpworks | 350r | Freelancer | 28 |
| - | 350r | F7C Hornet | 28 |
| - | M50 | Gladius | 22 |
| - | 85X | Aurora CL | 15 |
| - | 100i | Dragonfly Black | 18 |
| - | 100i | Dragonfly Yellowjacket | 18 |
| - | 100i | MPUV Personnel | 22 |
| - | 100i | Mustang Beta | 22 |
| - | 100i | X1 Baseline | 22 |
| - | 125a | 100i | 22 |
| - | 125a | 85X | 19 |
| - | 125a | Avenger Titan | 14 |
| - | 125a | Ursa Rover | 19 |
| - | 125a | X1 Force | 19 |
| - | 135C | 100i | 27 |
| - | 135C | 125a | 15 |
| - | 135C | 300i | 19 |
| - | 135C | Cyclone | 19 |
| - | 135C | Mustang Gamma | 19 |
| - | X1 Baseline | Mustang Alpha | 21 |
| - | X1 Baseline | Aurora LN | 15 |
| - | X1 Baseline | MPUV Cargo | 15 |
| - | X1 Velocity | Mustang Beta | 15 |
| - | X1 Velocity | MPUV Personnel | 15 |
| - | X1 Velocity | X1 Baseline | 15 |
| - | X1 Force | Aurora CL | 15 |
| - | X1 Force | X1 Velocity | 15 |
| - | X1 Force | Nox | 15 |
| - | 600i Touring | Constellation Aquila | 152 |
| - | 600i Touring | Constellation Phoenix | 110 |
| - | 600i Touring | Reclaimer | 57 |
| - | 600i Touring | Starfarer Gemini | 120 |
| - | 600i Touring | Endeavor | 110 |
| - | 600i Touring | Crucible | 110 |
| - | 600i Touring | Eclipse | 162 |
| - | 600i Touring | Genesis Starliner | 57 |
| - | 600i Touring | C2 Hercules | 57 |
| - | 600i Explorer | 600i Touring | 63 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Constellation Aquila | 194 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Prowler | 57 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Genesis Starliner | 99 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Starfarer Gemini | 162 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Endeavor | 152 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Reclaimer | 99 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Crucible | 152 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Hull D | 47 |
| - | 600i Explorer | C2 Hercules | 99 |
| RSI | Apollo Triage | Constellation Andromeda | 23 |
| - | Apollo Triage | San'tok.yai | 44 |
| - | Apollo Medivac | Constellation Andromeda | 49 |
| - | Apollo Medivac | Vanguard Warden | 26 |
| - | Apollo Medivac | Apollo Triage | 36 |
| - | Apollo Medivac | Vanguard Hoplite | 52 |
| - | Constellation Taurus | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 47 |
| - | Constellation Taurus | Razor | 42 |
| - | Mantis | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 21 |
| - | Mantis | Vulture | 21 |
| - | Mantis | Razor | 15 |
| - | Mantis | Ballista | 21 |
| - | Perseus | Mole | 409 |
| - | Perseus | Carrack | 110 |
| - | Perseus | Carrack W/C8X | 89 |
| - | Perseus | Carrack Expedition | 84 |
| - | Perseus | Carrack Expedition W/C8X | 63 |
| - | Perseus | Merchantman | 57 |
| - | Perseus | Orion | 136 |
| - | Perseus | 600i Explorer | 241 |
| - | Perseus | M2 Hercules | 194 |
| - | Perseus | Hull D | 267 |
| - | Polaris | Constellation Aquila | 535 |
| - | Polaris | Perseus | 183 |
| - | Polaris | A2 Hercules | 175 |
| - | Polaris | M2 Hercules | 357 |
| - | Polaris | Nautilus Solstice Edition | 149 |
| - | Polaris | Hammerhead | 149 |
| - | Polaris | Carrack | 367 |
| - | Polaris | Crucible | 499 |
| - | Polaris | Merchantman | 210 |
| - | Polaris | Orion | 257 |
| - | Orion | Constellation Aquila | 246 |
| - | Orion | Merchantman | -47 |
| - | Orion | Starfarer | 246 |
| - | Orion | 600i Touring | 194 |
| - | Orion | Reclaimer | 215 |
| - | Orion | Genesis Starliner | 215 |
| - | Orion | Prowler | 173 |
►10◄ CROSS-CHASSIS UPGRADES (CCUS), DOWNGRADE
╚════════════════════════════════════════╝
CCUs from more to less expensive ships
| Target ship manufacturer | Target ship | Upgrade from | Price, $ |
|---|---|---|---|
| Aegis Dynamics | Eclipse | Redeemer | 64 |
| - | Eclipse | Caterpillar | 17 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Constellation Aquila | 17 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | Constellation Andromeda | 30 |
| - | Reclaimer | Hull D | 94 |
| - | Reclaimer | Merchantman | 78 |
| - | Vulcan | Defender | 26 |
| - | Vulcan | Terrapin | 15 |
| - | Sabre | Constellation Taurus | 32 |
| - | Sabre | Freelancer MIS | 16 |
| - | Sabre Comet | Constellation Taurus | 52 |
| - | Retaliator Bomber | Redeemer | 36 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Redeemer | 57 |
| - | Vanguard Sentinel | Redeemer | 42 |
| - | Vanguard Warden | Redeemer | 26 |
| - | Vanguard Warden | Hull C | 26 |
| Anvil Aerospace | F7C-M Super Hornet | Constellation Taurus | 47 |
| - | F7C Hornet Wildfire | Constellation Taurus | 37 |
| - | Gladiator | Constellation Taurus | 26 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Defender | 21 |
| - | Hurricane | Defender | 21 |
| - | Gladiator | Constellation Taurus | 26 |
| - | Gladiator | Cutlass Blue | 28 |
| - | Valkyrie | Hull D | 42 |
| - | Valkyrie | Merchantman | 47 |
| - | Valkyrie | C2 Hercules | 31 |
| Aopoa (Xi'an) | Khartu-Al | Constellation Taurus | 31 |
| Consolidated outland | Mustang Delta | Hull A | 15 |
| Crusader Industries | Genesis Starliner | Hull D | 73 |
| - | Genesis Starliner | Merchantman | 73 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Hull D | 31 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Merchantman | 42 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Orion | 52 |
| Drake Interplanetary | Corsair | Defender | 42 |
| Esperia | Prowler | Merchantman | 120 |
| - | Prowler | Hull D | 105 |
| MISC | Freelancer MIS | Constellation Taurus | 37 |
| - | Freelancer MIS | Cutlass Blue | 37 |
| - | Razor | Freelancer MAX | 15 |
| - | Razor EX | Constellation Taurus | 15 |
| - | Razor EX | Cutlass Blue | 15 |
| - | Starfarer | Constellation Aquila | 37 |
| - | Starfarer | Caterpillar | 18 |
| Origin Jumpworks | 350r | Cutlass Red | 15 |
| - | 600i Touring | Hull D | 110 |
| - | 600i Touring | Prowler | 110 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Merchantman | 152 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Carrack | 99 |
| RSI | Apollo Triage | Mercury Star Runner | 42 |
| - | Orion | Carrack | 120 |
Click here to continue to 2nd part of the store
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2023.04.02 13:46 SirAlexH Big Finish Podcast Notes/Misc. Doctor Who Notes - 24/03/2023
BIG FINISH PODCAST NOTES/MISC. DOCTOR WHO NEWS ROUND-UP
Finally watched Black Panther 2. Pretty good, was definitely 3 hours, but I also appreciated and respect how the hell they managed a Black Panther movie without Black Panther. Plus, Angela Basset. Also watched Dungeons and Dragons and honestly? Really good. Possible I went in expecting a fun adventure so my expectations were lowered, but genuinely great CGI/practical effects, the fight sequences were well choreographed and didn’t jump all over the place, the cast was fantastic, was hilarious and it certainly made fun of certain D&D tropes, but never in a mean way? So basically: A D&D movie that both mocks and embraces D&D, and is just fun to boot and very well done. Here’s the DW version of the current hot meme. Anyway: welcome to my self-indulgent opinions with Big Finish Podcast notes following after.PODCAST NEWS
- Nothing of super interest. There’s no plans to do adaptations of the Target novelisations (which….).
- The trailer for Rani Takes on the World: Beyond Bannerman Road is out.
- Whilst we sorta technically kinda definitely knew this, we now have confirmation that Samantha Bond is back as Mrs Wormwood for the second volume of Rani Takes on the World.
- The trailer for Torchwood: Among Us Vol. 2 is out.
- Story and casting details for The Ninth Doctor Adventures 3.1 Pioneers are out.
- Tom Baker is reading the phone book, in a genuinely funny April Fools from Big Finish.
- According to a GallifreyBase user (So grain of Salt?), Frazer Hines said he had been doing some BTS for The Mind Robber.
- Doctor Who: Serpent Crest is announced to be released on vinyl.
Sales: Blake’s 7: Liberator Chronicles;
What CD’s are Out of Print This Week?:: The Fourth Doctor Adventures: 1.3 Wrath of the Iceni; The Eighth Doctor Adventures: 1.7/1.8 Human Resources 1/2; An Earthly Child; 4.5 Deimos; The Early Adventures: 2.1 The Yes Men; 3.4 The Sontarans; Countermeasures: Who Killed Toby Kinsella?; UNIT: Encounters; Space: 1999: Vol. 1
Interview/Production Interviews:The Fifth Doctor Adventures: Conflicts of Interest.
Randomoid Selectotron: BUCKUP: The Fourth Doctor Adventures: 5.7 The Pursuit of History
Fifteen Minute Drama Tease: **The Fifth Doctor Adventures: Conflicts of Interest
Big Finish Release Date Schedule:
- The Fifth Doctor Adventures: Conflicts of Interest - 05/04/2023
- The Robots: Vol. 6 - 13/04/2023
- Gerry Anderson Presents: Stingray Terror Fake - 14/04/2023
- Torchwood Monthly Adventures: 73. Launch Date - 18/04/2023
- Rani Takes on the World: Vol. 1: Beyond Bannerman Road - 20/04/2023
- Iris Wildthyme Audiobooks: Iris Wildthyme and the Polythene Terror - 25/04/2023
Diamond Anniversary Listenthrough: ….and so as a result.
Random Tangents: Something about pronunciations. Look, I’ll level with gall: I was out of town, this was done on phone on a bus. Oh and when i post this: Happy Easter. For next week. But I won't be posting at Easter until it started. So, Happy Good Friday? How about those fish 'n' chips?
2023.04.02 13:46 Lesterpaintstheworld Everything all at once: Working efficiently in an accelerating world
The Singularity seems to be coming: it is hard to overstate how important what we collectively do in the coming months will be for the future of humanity. This discussion thread is intended to discuss strategies to keep up the pace with an accelerating world.
What this mean is that \multiple\** big AI-related problems, are likely to manifest themselves in a very short span of time. We will likely collectively need to address in parallel mass-layoffs, the end of capitalism, misaligned AGIs, malignant actors using AI, and other unpredictable black-swan events.
The worst part is that we'll need to work hard to solve those problems, and fast: they won't magically solve themselves. I believe it is very important for us to keep up the pace as long as we possibly can, before completely giving up to whatever AGI/ASI/Corporation/Gov. A lot of misalignment problems for example will happen in a short window and need people who can keep up the pace to solve problems quickly as they arrive.
One of the strategies I started doing is allow myself more time to keep track with the latest developments in technology. Right now I can spend up to 40% of my time understanding the latest tech just to stay relevant, and this is likely to increase.
One of the other aspects is changing the way we are thinking about time & issues. A lot of calendar / performance questions change in nature this close to singularity.
In an accelerating context, questions that are relevant include:
In my head, I'm already considering the Window Size problem a solved issue, and working as if Window sizes were infinite already. Reality will catch up fast.
These are just some of the things I thought about, what about you? How do you deal with acceleration, and make yourself a relevant productive actor? Do you have other strategies to deal with all of this? Let us know :)
submitted by Lesterpaintstheworld to singularity [link] [comments]
Everything all at once
We now all feel the acceleration. The monthly breakthroughs, then weekly, and now almost daily. The S-curve will probably flatten at some point, but our world will look very different on the other side, and the steepest speeds of progress are still ahead.What this mean is that \multiple\** big AI-related problems, are likely to manifest themselves in a very short span of time. We will likely collectively need to address in parallel mass-layoffs, the end of capitalism, misaligned AGIs, malignant actors using AI, and other unpredictable black-swan events.
The worst part is that we'll need to work hard to solve those problems, and fast: they won't magically solve themselves. I believe it is very important for us to keep up the pace as long as we possibly can, before completely giving up to whatever AGI/ASI/Corporation/Gov. A lot of misalignment problems for example will happen in a short window and need people who can keep up the pace to solve problems quickly as they arrive.
Adjusting to acceleration
You've felt overwhelmed at point, everybody did. I know I did multiple times. As a developer, this meant that I had to re-learn multiple time my work in order to make valuable contributions. The interval between those getting shorter and shorter.One of the strategies I started doing is allow myself more time to keep track with the latest developments in technology. Right now I can spend up to 40% of my time understanding the latest tech just to stay relevant, and this is likely to increase.
One of the other aspects is changing the way we are thinking about time & issues. A lot of calendar / performance questions change in nature this close to singularity.
In an accelerating context, questions that are relevant include:
- Is SUBJECT on a exponential curve?
- If not, what is NEXT BLOCKER?
- Is blocker hardware or software?
- What is the best time estimation we got for the removal of this limit?
- Window sizes are on an exponential takeoff (meaning they will soon be arbitrarily large)
- There are no blocker in view (they found a log(n) algorithm to apply, so basically problem solved)
- Probably by the next generation of models (GPT-5), window sizes might be arbitrarily large.
In my head, I'm already considering the Window Size problem a solved issue, and working as if Window sizes were infinite already. Reality will catch up fast.
These are just some of the things I thought about, what about you? How do you deal with acceleration, and make yourself a relevant productive actor? Do you have other strategies to deal with all of this? Let us know :)
2023.04.02 13:40 True_Cartoonist7022 It’s a 16:52min 5k! Not 12mins like I was training for from 01/12/23 but that’s what it is
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2023.04.02 13:35 FlartyMcFlarstein Not Overly Thrilled
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2023.04.02 13:31 DistortionCardOff Remember when I made a weird guestion about Anne being black or white? It was for this. This is A.N.N.E from my Amphibian Cube AU. I made it for a music video I'm working on.
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2023.04.02 13:28 KarmaKostiya Tommy gay confirmed
 | submitted by KarmaKostiya to TommyKay [link] [comments] |
2023.04.02 13:08 RiceEnjoyer1337 We made a deal with IKM, and I get to keep northern territory and one volcano island. This is also probably the first diplomacy post
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2023.04.02 13:07 Currenutb black n thai freak katt dylan fucked bbc romemajor p2
 | submitted by Currenutb to BGUYL [link] [comments] |