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The Indus Connection (Part 1 - India/Brahmin History): The Relationship Queen Victoria II has to Early Sikh Canadian Settler, Kesur Singh - Pierre Elliot Trudeau's Close Relationship to Indian President Indira Ghandi Before her Assassination & Operation Bluestar, Strengthened Indus Bonds (1897-1985)

2023.06.03 07:55 TheLegendKeithDeroux The Indus Connection (Part 1 - India/Brahmin History): The Relationship Queen Victoria II has to Early Sikh Canadian Settler, Kesur Singh - Pierre Elliot Trudeau's Close Relationship to Indian President Indira Ghandi Before her Assassination & Operation Bluestar, Strengthened Indus Bonds (1897-1985)

Disclaimer: The point of these stories is to uncover missed and hidden tales that many new generation Canadians are unaware of and overlook. The storied histories of people, ethnicities, neighborhoods are never told and for good reason. The information presented will be sourced and open to full discussion. This 3 Part series will uncover The Indus Connection - The Bind that Punjab (Informally Khalistan), India and Sri Lanka have to the Canadian Government, RCMP & CSIS. I've done my best to piece the significant information together in a timeline that allows the reader to understand these events clearer. (Information is cited; avoiding going full in depth)
Kesur Singh was a Sikh officer of the 5th Cavalry who represented his regiment at Queen Victoria's diamond jubilee celebrations in London in 1897. This photo of him featured in The Navy and Army Illustrated of 10th Dec 1897. The description says 'He has on many occasions earned the praise of his superiors. He wears the medal and clasp for the Jowaki Expedition of 1877-78 and the medal with two clasps for Afghanistan (1878-80) where he was specially commended for devotion and courage on several occasions, and received the Order of Merit, and a special certificate from lord Roberts for his work at Sherpur.

Kesur Singh & The First Sikh Canadian Settlers in Canada - Ties to the British Raj & How the Queen Elizabeth II Awarded him for his Valor in the British Indian Cavalry (1897)

Kesur Singh, a Risaldar Major in the British India Army, is credited with being the first Sikh settler in Canada. He was amongst a group of Sikh officers who arrived in Vancouver on board Empress of India in 1897. They were on the way to Queen Victoria's Diamond Jubilee. Sikhs found employment in laying the tracks of the Canadian Pacific Railway, in lumber mills and mines. Though they earned less than white workers, they made enough money to send some of it to India and make it possible for their relatives to immigrate to Canada.
Indian Cavalry Passing the House of Parliament for Queen Victoria's Diamond Jubilee (1897)
A notable moment in early Sikh history in Canada was in 1902 when settlers first arrived in Golden, British Columbia to work at the Columbia River Lumber Company. This was a theme amongst most early Punjabi Sikh settlers in Canada to find work in the agricultural and forestry sectors in British Columbia. Punjabi Sikhs became a prominent ethnic group within the sawmill workforce in British Columbia almost immediately after initial arrival to Canada.
Punjabi Sikhs in Whitehorse, Yukon (April,1906)
The early settlers in Golden built the first Gurdwara (Sikh Temple) in Canada and North America in 1905, which would later be destroyed by fire in 1926. The second Gurdwara to be built in Canada was in 1908 in Kitsilano (Vancouver), aimed at serving a growing number of Punjabi Sikh settlers who worked at nearby sawmills along False Creek at the time. The Gurdwara would later close and be demolished in 1970, with the temple society relocating to the newly built Gurdwara on Ross Street, in South Vancouver.
As a result, the oldest existing Gurdwara in Canada today is the Gur Sikh Temple, located in Abbotsford, British Columbia. Built in 1911, the temple was designated as a national historic site of Canada in 2002 and is the third-oldest Gurdwara in the country. Later, the fourth Gurdwara to be built Canada was established in 1912 in Victoria on Topaz Avenue, while the fifth soon was built at the Fraser Mills (Coquitlam) settlement in 1913, followed a few years later by the sixth at the Queensborough (New Westminster) settlement in 1919, and the seventh at the Paldi (Vancouver Island) settlement, also in 1919.
Early Sikh pioneers also settled in the Abbotsford area in 1905 and originally worked on farms and in the lumber industry. By 1906, there were about 1,500 Sikh workers living in Canada, among about 5,000 East Indians in total. Although most of the immigrants from South Asia at the time were Sikhs, local ignorance of Eastern religions led to them frequently being assumed to be Hindus. About 90% of these Sikhs lived in British Columbia. While Canadian politicians, missionaries, unions and the press were opposed to Asian workers. British Columbia industrialists were short of labor and thus Sikhs were able to get an early foothold at the turn of the 20th century in British Columbia.
As with the large numbers of Chinese workers already present in Canada, many white workers resented those immigrants and directed their ill-will toward the Sikhs, who were easily recognized by their beards and turbans. Punjabis were accused of having a caste system, an idea that goes against the foundations of Sikhism. They were portrayed as being riddled with trachoma and as being unclean in general. To strengthen these racist characterizations, a song called White Canada Forever was created. All this eventually led to a boat of Sikhs arriving in Vancouver being sent to Victoria. In 1907, the year that Buckam Singh came to British Columbia from Punjab at the age of fourteen, Punjabis were forced to avoid the Anti-Oriental Riots of 1907 by staying indoors.
Punjabi & Canadian Boy Drinking Soda (1972)
Most of the Sikhs in Canada in 1907 were retired British army veterans and their families. These Punjabis had proved themselves as loyal soldiers in the British colonies in Asia and Africa. However, the Canadian Government did not prevent the use of the illegal scare tactics being used to monitor immigration and prevent Sikhs from seeking employment, and this soon resulted in the cessation of all Indian immigration to Canada. The Canadian Prime Minister, Sir Wilfrid Laurier claimed that Indians were unsuited to life in the Canadian climate. However, in a letter to the viceroy, The Earl of Minto, Sir Wilfred voiced a different opinion, stating that the Chinese were the least adaptable to Canadian ways, whereas Sikhs, which he mistakenly referred to as Hindus, were the most adaptable. This sentiment changed after Buckam Singh's role in World War 1, which enabled more Sikhs to migrate to Canada.
Takeaways During this Period:

The Immigration Act, 1910 came under scrutiny when a party of 39 Indians, mostly Sikhs, arriving on a Japanese ship, the Komagata Maru, succeeded in obtaining habeas corpus against the immigration department's order of deportation. The Canadian Government then passed a law intended to keep labourers and artisans, whether skilled or unskilled, out of Canada by preventing them from landing at any dock in British Columbia. As Canadian immigration became stricter, more Indians, most of them Sikhs, travelled south to the United States of America.
The Komagata Maru Incident involved the Japanese steamship Komagata Maru, on which a group of people from British India attempted to immigrate to Canada in April 1914, but most were denied entry and forced to return to Budge Budge, Calcutta (present-day Kolkata). There, the Indian Imperial Police attempted to arrest the group leaders. A riot ensued, and they were fired upon by the police, resulting in the deaths of 22 people.
Buckam Singh - Buckam Singh enlisted with the Canadian Expeditionary Force in the spring of 1915. Buckam Singh was one of the earliest known Sikhs living in Ontario at the time as well as one of only 9 Sikhs known to have served with Canadian troops in the First World War. Private Buckam Singh served with the 20th Canadian Infantry Battalion in the battlefields of Flanders during 1916. Here, Buckam Singh was wounded twice in battle and later received treatment at a hospital run by one of Canada's most famous soldier poets the Doctor Lt. Colonel John McCrae. While recovering from his wounds in England, Private Buckam Singh contracted tuberculosis and spent his final days in a Kitchener, Ontario military hospital, dying at age 25 in 1919. His grave in Kitchener is the only known First World War Sikh Canadian soldier's grave in Canada. Despite being forgotten for ninety years and never getting to see his family again, Buckam Singh is now being celebrated as not only a Sikh hero, but a Canadian hero.

Legacy of Buckam Singh (1972)

The Events Leading Up To an Independent Punjab State Precursor to Operation Bluestar - Post Independence Period of India (1956)

Punjabi Suba Speeches (1956)
The Punjabi Suba Movement After Independence from British Rule (1956)
The Punjabi Suba movement was a long-drawn political agitation, launched by Punjabi speaking people (mostly Sikhs) demanding the creation of autonomous Punjabi Suba, or Punjabi-speaking state, in the post-independence Indian state of East Punjab. The movement is defined as the forerunner of Khalistan movement.
Borrowing from the pre-partition demands for a Sikh country, this movement demanded a fundamental constitutional autonomous state within India. Led by the Akali Dal (a centre-right Sikh-centric state political party in Punjab, India. The party is the second-oldest in India, after Congress, being founded in 1920.), it resulted in the formation of the state of Punjab. The state of Haryana and the Union Territory of Chandigarh were also created and some Pahari-majority parts of the East Punjab were also merged with Himachal Pradesh following the movement. The result of the movement failed to satisfy its leaders due to regions in Northern Haryana with Punjabi speaking and Sikh populations like Jind, Karnal, Ambala, Fatehabad and Sirsa being left out of Punjab. Many Sikh leaders saw this as falling short of the promise of a fully autonomous Sikh State that they felt was promised to them by Nehru and Gandhi in exchange for joining the Indian Union.
In the 1950s the Punjabi Suba movement for linguistic reorganization of the state of Punjab and status for the Punjabi language took place, which the government finally agreed to in 1966 after protests and recommendation of the States Reorganization commission. The state of East Punjab was later split into the states of Himachal Pradesh, the new state Haryana and current day Punjab.
The process of Sikh alienation from the national mainstream was set in motion shortly after Independence due to the communalism of national and regional parties and organization including the RSS, Jan Sangh, and the Arya Samaj, exacerbated by Congress mishandling and local politicians and factions. According to Indian general Afsir Karim, many observers believed that separatist sentiments began in 1951 when Punjabi Hindus disowned the Punjabi language under the influence of radical elements, and "doubts on the concepts of a Punjabi Suba" created mutual suspicion, bitterness, and further misunderstanding between the two communities. The 1966 reorganization left the Sikhs highly dissatisfied, with the unresolved status of Chandigarh and the distribution of river waters intensifying bitter feelings.
While the Green Revolution in Punjab had several positive impacts, the introduction of the mechanized agricultural techniques led to uneven distribution of wealth. The industrial development was not done at the same pace of agricultural development, the Indian government had been reluctant to set up heavy industries in Punjab due to its status as a high-risk border state with Pakistan. The rapid increase in the higher education opportunities without adequate rise in the jobs resulted in the increase in the unemployment of educated youth. The resulting unemployed rural Sikh youth were drawn to the militant groups, and formed the backbone of the militancy.
After being routed in 1972 Punjab election, the Akali Dal put forward the Anandpur Sahib Resolution in 1973 to address these and other grievances, and demand more autonomy to Punjab. The resolution included both religious and political issues. It asked for recognizing Sikhism as a religion It also demanded that power be generally devaluated from the Central to state governments. The Anandpur Resolution was rejected by the government as a secessionist document. Thousands of people joined the movement, feeling that it represented a real solution to demands such as a larger share of water for irrigation and the return of Chandigarh to Punjab.
The 1978 Sikh-Nirankari clashes had been within the Sikh community, but the pro-Sant Nirankari stance of some Hindus in Punjab and Delhi had led to further division, including Jan Sangh members like Harbans Lal Khanna joining the fray, who, in a protest against holy city status for Amritsar, raising inflammatory slogans like "Kachha, kara, kirpan, bhejo inko Pakistan" ("those who wear the 5Ks (Sikhs), send them to Pakistan"), led to aggressive counter demonstrations.

Prime Minister of Canada, Pierre Elliot Trudeau Visits India; Prime Minister of India, Indira Ghandi Visits Canada - The India-Canada Bonds Stay in Tact (1971)

Indira Gandhi of India and Pierre Trudeau of Canada-walk through the lobby of the new $3 million Shaw festival Theatre at Niagar-on-the-Lake last night during intermission. After the play; Mrs. Gandhi joined Trudeau and his wife; Margaret; on state for presentation of a plaque.
Prime minister Pierre Trudeau touched down in India. For five days in January, 1971, Pierre Elliott Trudeau toured the country, rode a camel, petted a bullock, went up the Ganges and into a locomotive factory, visited the tombs of Indian notables, saw the Taj Mahal and wore a hat that would have made a Rajput proud. He then sat down with the emerging, redoubtable Prime Minister Indira Gandhi to discuss the state of the world and the sorry state of Canada’s economic relationship with India. Even nuclear weapons were discussed in 1971 with the Canadian prime minister in a press conference opining “there is no expressed desire on (the Indian) part to explode such a (nuclear) device nor I believe the technological ability to do so.” Three years later, in May 1974, the Indians did explode such a device – cheekily codenamed Smiling Buddha – in the Rajasthan desert, using plutonium from the research reactor Canada had built for it in 1956 for peaceful purposes. The bilateral relationship dropped into a diplomatic pit with every leader since expressing sorrowful but hopeful words that things would improve.
The one issue not on Pierre Elliott Trudeau’s agenda was anything to do with the Punjab and Sikhs. At the time, both were good news stories. The Punjab, home to most Sikhs, was the centre of an agricultural Green Revolution with new strains of wheat moving India from a food-deficient country to one of self sufficiency, with exports contemplated. Economically, Sikhs were the main beneficiaries and their biggest political problem was whether or not their beards met the requirements of flying fighter jets for the Indian Air Force. The emergence of India as a legitimate and serious geopolitical counterweight to China, not only in Asia but globally, has dramatically changed the bilateral agenda. Over the years, very little energy was expended by either India or Canada to put the relationship on a footing reflective of this changed status. There have been large and small bumps on that road since. Sikhs have been a significant part of the Canadian mosaic since the late 19th century. Their numbers increased dramatically with the mid-1970s changes to the Immigration Act and today they represent close to half of the 1.2 million Canadians with ancestry from the subcontinent. Their wealth, energy and self-deprecating humour, along with a monotheistic theology, were dominant features and over time the use of Sardar and Sardarji became terms of appreciation for the community as a whole. Towards the end of European colonial dominance, they were a military mainstay of the British Raj. As one Indian researcher wrote, “the success-story of the Sikh community as a whole has taken the form of a deep-rooted anxiety in the collective minds of the non-Sikh majorities especially the Hindus of India.” The present prime minister of India, Narendra Modi, has achieved political success exploiting this and other anxieties alongside the promotion of Hindu ascendency.
IMPORTANT EXCERPT BY CSE AFTER AIR INDIA BOMBING (1985):India’s government knows more of what goes on in the Canadian Sikh community than the combined forces of the RCMP, CSIS and CSE. This was evident in the aftermath of the 1985 Air India bombings and it was rare if a visit by the Indian High Commissioner (he a Sikh) to the Department of Foreign Affairs did not provide details on some nefarious action within the community.

The Path to Operation Bluestar: How the Assassination of Indira Ghandi led to the 1984 Anti-Sikh Riots (Black November)

Deceased Sikhs - Result of the Clashes
The Sikh-Nirankari clashes - Precursor to Operation Bluestar (1978)
The 1978 Sikh-Nirankari clash occurred between the Sant Nirankari Mission (An Indian backed Sikh Organization) and Sikhs of Damdami Taksal and Akal Kirtani Jatha on 13 April 1978 at Amritsar, Punjab, India. Sixteen people—thirteen traditional Sikhs and three Nirankari followers—were killed in the ensuing violence, occurring when some Akhand Kirtani Jatha and Damdami Taksal members led by Fauja Singh protested against and tried to stop a convention of Sant Nirankari Mission followers. This incident is considered to be a starting point in the events leading to Operation Blue Star and the 1980s insurgency in Punjab.
Operation Bluestar - Indhira Ghandi's Plot to Eliminate Akhan Kirtani Jatha & Damdami Taksal Leaders (1984)
Visual Depiction of Operation Bluestar (Preliminary Footage - AP News)
Operation Blue Star was an Indian military operation carried out between 1 and 8 June 1984, ordered by Prime Minister Indira Gandhi to remove religious leader Jarnail Singh Bhindranwale and his armed followers from the buildings of the Harmandir Sahib complex in Amritsar, Punjab. In July 1983, the Sikh political party Akali Dal's President Harcharan Singh Longowal had invited Bhindranwale to take up residence in Golden Temple Complex. Bhindranwale later on made the sacred temple complex an armoury and headquarters. In the violent events leading up to the Operation Blue Star, the militants had killed 165 Nirankaris, Hindus and Nirankaris, even 39 Sikhs opposed to Bhindranwale were killed. The total number of deaths was 410 in violent incidents and riots while 1,180 people were injured.
Counterintelligence reports of the Indian agencies had reported that three prominent figures in the operation, Shabeg Singh, Balbir Singh and Amrik Singh had made at least six trips each to Pakistan between the years 1981 and 1983. Intelligence Bureau reported that weapons training was being provided at gurdwaras in Jammu and Kashmir and Himachal Pradesh. Soviet intelligence agency KGB reportedly tipped off the Indian agency RAW about the CIA and ISI working together on a Plan for Punjab with a code name "Gibraltar". RAW from its interrogation of a Pakistani Army officer received information that over a thousand trained Special Service Group commandos of the Pakistan Army had been dispatched by Pakistan into the Indian Punjab to assist Bhindranwale in his fight against the government. A large number of Pakistani agents also took the smuggling routes in the Kashmir and Kutch n for three days ending on 8 June. A clean-up operation codenamed as Operation Woodrose was also initiated throughout Punjab.
The army had underestimated the firepower possessed by the militants. Militants had Chinese made rocket-propelled grenade launchers with armor piercing capabilities. Tanks and heavy artillery were used to attack the militants using anti-tank and machine-gun fire from the heavily fortified Akal Takht. After a 24-hour firefight, the army finally wrested control of the temple complex. Casualty figures for the Army were 83 dead and 249 injured. According to the official estimate presented by the Indian government, 1592 were apprehended and there were 493 combined militant and civilian casualties. High civilian casualties were attributed by the state to militants using pilgrims trapped inside the temple as human shields. According to Indian army generals, it was "doubtful" that Bhindranwale had any assurance of help or promise of asylum from Pakistan, as he made no attempt to escape with any associates, in additions to traditions of martyrdom.
Jarnail Singh Bhindranwale (Damdami Taksal Leader - Killed)

Assassination of Indian Prime Minister, Indira Gandhi By Her Sikh Bodyguards (1984)

Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated at 9:30 a.m. on 31 October 1984 at her residence in Safdarjung Road, New Delhi. She was killed by her bodyguards. Satwant Singh and Beant Singh in the aftermath of Operation Blue Star, an Indian military action carried out between 1 and 8 June 1984 ordered by Indira Gandhi to remove Jarnail Singh Bhindranwale and his followers from the Golden Temple of Harmandir Sahib in Amritsar, Punjab. The collateral damage included the death of many pilgrims, as well as damage to the Akal Takht. The military action on the sacred temple was criticized both inside and outside India.
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The 1984 Anti-Sikh Riots (Sikh Genocide/Black November) in Response to Indian Prime Minister Indira Ghandi's Assasination - 17,000 Sikhs Dead [This Event Gave Rise to the Punjabi Insurgency Movement, Babar Khalsa & Flight Air India 182 Bombing in Canada]

The 1984 Anti-Sikh Riots - Resulted in 17,000 Deceased Sikhs
The 1984 Anti-Sikh Riots, also known as the 1984 Sikh Genocide, 1984 Sikh Massacre or Black November, was a series of organized pogroms against Sikhs in India following the assassination of Indira Gandhi by her Sikh bodyguards. Government estimates project that about 2,800 Sikhs were killed in Delhi and 3,350 nationwide, whilst independent sources estimate the number of deaths at about 8,000–17,000.
The assassination of Indira Gandhi itself had taken place shortly after she had ordered Operation Blue Star, a military action to secure the Harmandir Sahib Sikh temple complex in Amritsar, Punjab, in June 1984. The operation had resulted in a deadly battle with armed Sikh groups who were demanding greater rights and autonomy for Punjab and the deaths of many pilgrims. Sikhs worldwide had criticized the army action and many saw it as an assault on their religion and identity. In the aftermath of the pogroms, the government reported that 20,000 had fled the city; the People's Union for Civil Liberties reported "at least" 1,000 displaced persons. The most-affected regions were the Sikh neighborhoods of Delhi. Human rights organizations and newspapers across India believed that the massacre was organized. The collusion of political officials connected to the Indian National Congress in the violence and judicial failure to penalize the perpetrators alienated Sikhs and increased support for the Khalistan movement. The Akal Takht, Sikhism's governing body, considers the killings a genocide.
In 2011, Human Rights Watch reported that the Government of India had "yet to prosecute those responsible for the mass killings".According to the 2011 WikiLeaks cable leaks, the United States was convinced of Indian National Congress' complicity in the riots and called it "opportunism" and "hatred" by the Congress government, of Sikhs. Although the U.S. has not identified the riots as genocide, it acknowledged that "grave human rights violations" occurred. In 2011, the burned sites of multiple Sikh killings from 1984, were discovered in Hondh-Chillar and Pataudi areas of Haryana. The Central Bureau of Investigation, the main Indian investigative agency, believes that the violence was organized with support from the Delhi police and some central-government officials. After 34 years of delay, in December 2018, the first high-profile conviction for the 1984 anti-Sikh riots took place with the arrest of Congress leader Sajjan Kumar, who was sentenced to life imprisonment by the Delhi High Court. Very few convictions have taken place in the pending 1984 cases, with only one death penalty conviction for an accused, Yashpal in the case of murdering Sikhs in the Mahipalpur area of Delhi.
To Be Continued in Indus Connection (Part 2 - Punjabi/Sikh History) - Flight Air India 182

submitted by TheLegendKeithDeroux to Torontology [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 07:29 Mods-of-HFH-1 That time when my new fave ghosted me because I brought up our "condom accident." Or so I thought.

LOL. This started out as a short post.
Also, for the first time in history, I will refrain from sharing the pics of this escort even though I just got tons of them. (Y'all know how much I love including pics, so this is extremely hard for me to resist doing.)
That's because there's a TMI infraction with this one, and I really like this provider so I don't want to soil her reputation with other clients. (I know... shocking.)
Alright! I'm in a new city for a long contract. I haven't established regulars yet. It's so bad that I have to drive an hour EACH WAY to fuck an escort who I had met at an adjacent city. With no good nearby options yet and with tons of stress, I have no choice.
By now, I've had her several times and let me tell you, I was drunk off the pussy. Not just the pussy, I was drunk off of HER. She did so many things extremely well.

Ass and thighs for days.
Bright, gorgeous smile
Great DFK kisser; very passionate
The fucking was aggressive and took charge.
True nympho; horny all the time, loved getting fucked.
Yet she had a soft voice and was great at conversation.
She'd whisper "Yes, daddy" with her eyes closed while getting fucked.

Sex is healing and she was giving me great sex, so I was happy to have a new favorite. So after a great session, as I had just started my long trek home, I sent her this message:

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I was still enjoying the post-coital bliss. Yes, she had stood me up the time before and made up for it by adding features and giving me a permanent discount, something that's still valid to this day.
The "Well, almost" is because I had been gently nudging her towards BBFS. I'll get back to that in a second.

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It was a very pleasant exchange. Again, she was a great escort and my new fave. I didn't text her again for the rest of my trip as we were well past midnight.
Sometime during the day while I'm still thinking about how great of a fuck it was, I decided to text her and to mention - no - apologize for something that had happened during that fuck session the night before:

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I'm thinking good idea, right? After all, I'm gradually marching her down to BBFS anyway so might as well give her some reassurances, right. RIGHT? Oops. Maybe not.
Cuz I got ghosted. Haha.
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My small attempt at humor didn't register. And the "couple of days" until the next fuck session had come, so I decided to talk about coming to get my watch... aaaaaand to fuck, too.

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Still, nothing!

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Yup. I was ghosted and blocked. Hahaha. Aw, maaaan!!! I hate it when you've got a favorite and this shit happens. Keep in mind, I was in a new city and had no regulars. So this was a double whammy.
To explain a little of what might have been going on, let me backtrack a bit.
The first time I discussed graduating to bare sex with her, she had quite a response. It wasn't merely "no, I don't do that" or "it will take a long time" etc.

She told me about a long-time regular of hers who she really trusted and agreed to go bare with, only to immediately contract an STI/STD from him.

She was genuinely and deeply hurt; she felt betrayed by him.

She's a really GOOD person; not jaded or bitter in anyway, she really loved fucking her clients. That's why it was more of a betrayal for her.
And while she was telling me this, she showed me the empty pill bottles she had been taking as a result. It was a somber moment, and it serves as a lesson for me to this day.
I mean, I still rawdog these escorts without hesitation, but seeing THIS side of it is a lesson of what to avoid.
And even after all that, I STILL told her that one day in the future I wanted us to start fucking au naturel.

So, wait, what about the post-fuck conversation on April 19 and the condom accident?

It was purely an accident and definitely not my fault. As I wrote, the condom had broken... HER condom, a condom that SHE provided. It broke and for a moment I was in warm, moist bliss.
Did I take advantage of the situation?
Did I do something deceptive and prolong my time in the wet & gushy?
Well, judging by how the conversation was going once I was in the car and barreling down the road, there was no such concerns or accusations.

Did me bringing it up hours later piss her off and trigger something?

Now that several hours had passed, did she reconsider and look at it in a new light?
Like I said, this mattered because I was really happy to have her as my new fave and was willing to drive an hour out to her. Losing the good ones always sucks.
Last text from me was on May 3rd. But then on May 7th...

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https://preview.redd.it/7lqgyse8qq3b1.png?width=1350&format=png&auto=webp&s=eb41f7e27787faef7aff936d8a0043a41278f81e

FALSE ALARM!!!

Nevermind, y'all. Forget EVERYTHING I wrote up to this point. Hahahaha. It was nothing but coincidence!!!
Good lessons to learn and whatever. (I mean, I did get the chance to see how a sex provider feels when she contracts an STD from a trusted.)
But, still just just a coincidence. WHEW!!!
It happens like that a lot often, gents. You might think you've been ghosted or blocked when the provider is just busy, or on break, or whatever.
Also, fuck coming tomorrow. Bitch, I'm coming TONIGHT!!!

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I went and fucked her that night, late night at that. And then a few weeks later while on my way back from a multi-state roadtrip, I stopped in on her from the road.

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We were having steady fuck sessions again those days, so by July, she was READY for my usual deluxe offer: overnighter, BBFSCIP, $500.

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This was truly miraculous because she really still was traumatized from having caught something before with a trusted client. That aspect made reaching the milestone even more of an achievement.
The conditions were it had to be on my home turf and in a nice hotel.
So, we kept discussing the plan and the anticipation was off the scale. No more accidental bare fucking for a few pumps. I was gonna plow her velvety-smooth pussy until I OD'd.

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There was lots of pump faking for about 3 days so I was starting to worry if it would happen at all.
Finally, when day came and she was in my city one hour away, I was still worried that she might not go through with it, considering all the factors I've mentioned. She definitely was gonna see other clients during the day and not just be sitting around waiting for me (again, she loves to fuck). But she had made room for our marathon overnighter.

https://preview.redd.it/bjyf3zvfiq3b1.png?width=1350&format=png&auto=webp&s=f42765508c697cb665b2a7e3f98d3fc098f94924
To date, it's the only overnighter I've ever done with her. During that epic event, we fucked and fucked... and fucked and fucked... until I was knocked out.
Again, I won't post her pics this time due to TMI. Instead, I'll use my man Seiren's comics.
First it was Fred fucking Betty. Then it was Bam-Bam...

https://preview.redd.it/6asywg127q3b1.png?width=1350&format=png&auto=webp&s=bef9b54d5a9fff14b10aabf21ad36f8487d3cf95
Now, it's goddamn Dino??? Hahahahaha

https://preview.redd.it/fmcux56u7q3b1.png?width=1350&format=png&auto=webp&s=b6c5c0f3a0f976ad5029bea9f392a6de9d28ee71
Yeah, I looked like Dino that night. Haha. Drunk off the pussy, passed out and SNORING. But her? She woke me up a few times to fuck some more. Nympho, I tell ya. Amazing that she's hoeing.

So after that, guess what happened next...

-
-
-
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SHE GHOSTED ME AGAIN!!! 🤣🤣🤣
This time for like 6 months!
And then she popped back up again after that.
That just goes to show ya...
(a) Don't get bent out of shape when your fave ghosts you. Shit, you're not in a relationship! She could be getting piped down by the next consumer, or her phone got cut off.
(b) Don't you ever, and I mean EVER... stop texting! Haha, cuz she will eventually answer you, especially when she needs some cash.

Happy hobbying, my dudes.

P.S. Would you still angle for BBFS with an escort who revealed she recently had been treated for a curable STD? Yes/no/depends/how...

submitted by Mods-of-HFH-1 to havingfunhobbying [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 05:28 oddnded 26 [M4F] US / Anywhere - Seeking cold weather enjoyer to prove the existence of yetis with

TL;DR: Just some tired dude trying to find a half decent connection at best. If you have a disdain for games, movies, banter, cars, or humor as a whole just pass me up. Also, if you're keen on one sided conversations too
I'm attempting to find an actual relationship, if it happens. The people I have spoke to over the last several years of my life are either too busy or are different people now. I miss having someone to talk and complain to everyday about whatever + that seemingly care, y'know? The idea of having a partner that fills that role sounds ideal
I will say it would probably be ideal if you could relate to like the older online era. I mean, we're talking like peak CoD lobbies, Habbo, and similar shit. Idk, it seemed like back then people were more fun. Lol I've found they're usually less sensitive too
Honestly, I could care less if it's SFW, NSFW, or a mix when it comes to conversations. I'm relatively open minded in general and don't take to getting offended easily for the most part. The only things I ask are for you to be somewhat close to my age, honest, and relatively blunt. I mean, bonus if you can relate to the tired feeling. Well, that or if you can tolerate it at the very least. I don't want to list an absurd amount about myself, because I feel that ruins actual back and forth to a degree, personally
About You: • Non-sensitive and can handle banter, jokes, and memes while also returning
• Somewhat available and able to reply in a decent amount of time
• Has an ability to express interest or converse about hobbies that aren't your own (on average used to people just passing by half of what I say)
• You can be equally boring as myself or worse tbh, as long as there's back and forth. If you're some mass extrovert then I can live vicariously through you in contrast lmao
• It would be cool if you enjoyed sharing music. I'm always looking for new stuff for my playlist
• You enjoy movies
I will say none of these are requirements. They're extremely preferred though tbh
About Me: • I turned twenty-six early this year, and feel awful. Regardless, quarter life crisis is still persisting lol
• I have relatively awful internet. So, games take forever to update, think a day or two depending. Also, at some point I want a sim rig (not at over the top one lmao)
• Tends to enjoy most forms of comedy, wether dark / offensive / dry etc + I agree with the stance of jokes being jokes
• Meme Archivarius and Aficionado
• I've been learning Norwegian for a few months now
• Cold weather / temps wins over hot weather / temps every time
• I have an absurd amount of hobbies; but, obviously frequent some more than others. So, the likelihood we at least share one in common is very high
• May as wells be a bottle of mental health issues, namely severe depression and general anxiety. So, if you struggle with mental health it's no issue. Honestly, would probably be nice if you can either relate or understand
• Sleeping is a struggle + my general sleep schedule is subpar
• Believes Elon Musk will end up creating catgirls, sooner or later
• Replies as quick as I nut
So, aside from all of that, feel free to ask me anything you'd like to know about me. I'm a relatively open book. If you're out to try and steal my identity you'll probably just end up disappointed lmao. Hopefully this finds you well, my dudes. Feel free to send me a chat (´• `")ゝ

submitted by oddnded to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 04:52 Ok_Introduction_3253 Working single moms…need your opinion…

If you were partnered - do you regret leaving your spouse?
I’ve known for a year that my relationship was over. For the first 3 years together, my husband was pretty darn good. We realized in therapy and testing that he has ASD. I now believe I was his preferred focus topic in the beginning. When I became pregnant and had complications, he dove into other hobbies. Our daughter is 13 months now, and him trying his hardest is the bare minimum for me. Also, it was revealed he has defaulted on $60K in student loan debt, and thanks to us being married does not qualify for forgiveness or a reasonable payment plan.
Something inside me broke when he emailed me the letter that said I would have to pay the government $6800 a month to pay his loans back to get him out of default. He has no savings and doesn’t make enough to live on alone. He contributes minimally to household bills and doesn’t pay for any baby related expenses, including childcare.
I am terrified but I want to buy a house and set down roots for my baby and I. I make significantly more than him and while he is not vicious you never know how damaging a divorce can be financially. I love him as a friend but no longer respect him as a partner. Couples counseling has stalled as more than one counselor has shared that us meeting together is useless until he does the work on himself.
I am terrified of how a divorce will impact my baby but also equally scared of how me staying and modeling this dysfunctional relationship will impact her. I feel like a failure, but my survival instinct is telling me to do it to save myself money down the road.
Talking to an attorney on Monday about options. I’m shattered. Looking for perspective and advice.
Thank you 🙏

submitted by Ok_Introduction_3253 to workingmoms [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 04:46 xt0s The 10 Hour Rule: if it ain't removed it's condoned

DB mods what are you doing?! Having a life, friends, family, interests, hobbies, chores, cardiac arrest? Don't you know you're to be chained to your desk addressing all reports and scanning every single comment 24/7 and just one, JUST ONE, slip up is tantamount to endorsement? /s

MoreEvidenceOurFriendsDownTheRoadDontHaveHealthyBehaviors

submitted by xt0s to banfromDB [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 04:39 blenderman215 How many miles do you guys put on your truck?

I’m just a month shy of owning my 2022 off road and am sitting at about 25k miles on it. I drive it for work and do a lot of driving as well as daily commuting for hobbies and such. Right now my job gives me a vehicle reimbursement which pays for the car payment. With how many miles I put on it in a year, I am thinking about getting a company vehicle and just paying for the Tacoma. Not sure what to do, y’all think 25k in a year is too much?

submitted by blenderman215 to ToyotaTacoma [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 04:33 rigov2046 35 [M4F] #DC/#DMV 6’2 Consummate Gentleman for Girlfriend -Commitment/Passion

Good Evening-
BLUF (Bottom Line Up Front): Stats and Interests Below the Cut-Line. Rationale and Compatibility Analysis Directly Below.
::::::::::::
I’ve received feedback that I should change my posts from “FWB” to Actual Girlfriend since I am seeking monogamy and commitment from one lady and I am willing to show the same.
I think that the only reasons we might not be compatible are preferences for looks, our careers (especially me in the Navy), sexual compatibility, and how we spend our free time. As for other reasons- I pride myself in communication, problem solving, patience, chivalry, authenticity, and being altruistic.
————————
Statistics: 6’2, Soon to be 36 YO, 196 lbs, 34 waist, Pulse 52, BP 118/72, Shoe- 12, xxx-7.25, Credit Score 807. Foster Homes Lived In-28, Schools Attended- 23. 43 countries visited, Deployments (USN)- 5, Kids- 0. Black Hair, Hazel Eyes, Lean-Athletic Muscular build. Sweet smile, great calves, aging grey temples, youthful/positive face. The usually response I get is either “fuck yes” or “fuck no” - I realize I am not everyone’s type. 5k PR: 1557- college. Mile-4:17- high school (RI all-state). Undergrad: USNA. Master’s: GWU, USNWC
Red Flags 2 Marriages, 1 other Engagement. Broken hearts- many. Times broken-hearted- 2. Currently separated. Introverted and Calculated decision maker due to upbringing. Analytical for good and bad reasons. Harry Potter House Ravenclaw Hat-Stall to Slytherin. Left-Handed, 800M SAT Score. Have won over 600k lifetime gambling (A hobby now, used to be a matter of life/death when I was youngehomeless as a teen).
Personality Assessment: Altruistic and Thoughtful people-pleaser. Detail-oriented and sexually charged gentleman. More cooperative and curious than critical. Constantly self-assessing and self-correcting, reflective and strives for improvement. Aims to use own experience to better others in close proximity and to scale. INTJ, love languages physical touch and quality time. Future POTUS, RI GOV, or Government SES, Navy Ship Captain. Vulnerability, Passion, and Compassion are Hallmarks (See Brene Brown/Esther Perel TED Talks).
Interests: Sports fanatic- specifically Boston teams. Board/Card games. Intellectual/Philosophical conversations. Human Behavior, Running, Walking, Pokémon Go, improving my teams around me, including family. Road trips, the beach, kissing, giving massages, finding a partner who wants to deeply connect romantically and physically and discuss and act out our fantasies. Improving our EQ and erotic intelligence together.
Someone will really like this and I hope if you are interested, we could write our success story here. I am an eternal optimist and I realize that you can’t small talk on apps the way I would really like to get to the heart of serious issues. If you are genuinely ambitious yet humble from our beginnings- maybe one of us is the First Spouse to the other, or, the half of a great partnership and earn the title of best parent, or co-chefs in our house together. Coach of the kids’s sports team is cool, too.
I have almost all the pieces I have to make life great and for me it is- just hoping to find that force multiplier where we can enhance our lives and take each other to a place of leadership and bliss that not even we can imagine right now!

submitted by rigov2046 to r4r [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 04:01 angelalj8607 Made my first order on DAC!

I have kits from DAC, but I bought them from Jo-Ann and Hobby Lobby. This is my first time actually ordering from the site. I’m excited!

submitted by angelalj8607 to diamondpainting [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 03:44 galaxyoflight Fabric Shop

Hello!
I was curious if anyone knew of any big fabric shops in Erie, or even just Western PA. I’m I’m looking for good fabric but Joann’s, Hobby Lobby, and Michael’s did not have what I needed. I know I can shop online, but I’d REALLY prefer to see fabric in person.

submitted by galaxyoflight to Erie [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 03:39 holagvk Looking for breadboard / jumper cable / resistors

Hi,
I am looking for a breadboard, a few jumper cables, and resistors for a hobby project. Where can I get those in/around Barrie?
I tried searching online, but couldn’t find any leads.
Thanks

submitted by holagvk to barrie [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 03:20 curvydumpling 35 [F4R] West Coast/online - ISO warm fuzzy feelings

Your girl is single, 35, Caucasian, and about to blow up her stable life by quitting her crappy job and taking to the road. The final destination is unknown, but the goal is personal fulfillment and a place she can put down roots.
Third person gets old fast, so pronoun shift: Hullo! I'm home with the flu, too sick to do anything fun but not sick enough to sleep all day, and thought it might be fun to see who else out there is feeling friendly. Most of my good friends are preoccupied with spouses and babies these days, so it's time to cultivate new friendships.
As I mentioned, I'm about to give notice at my job, pack up the apartment, and hop in the car to try to find a path forward that fills me with joy instead of blah. Doing the "smart" thing over and over and over hasn't made me successful or happy, so I figured I'd try something different.
Salient details? I'm introverted but thrive on deep connections with people. Am very empathetic. My friends are small in number but high in quality; we go back years and decades. I've been involved with penpal communities in some form or other for over 10 years; some of those connections have turned into thriving in-person friendships. I'd give the shirt off my back and fight a bear for almost anyone who needed it. It's true I have definite opinions about injustice and fairness, but I've also lived in enough places across the world that I can listen to and learn from those I disagree with.
My fatal flaw? I can't have an intelligent conversation about video games. Truly, I've never even met Mario. The closest I've managed is Stardew Valley.
My hobbies include pottery, reading widely (from historical nonfiction to Brit Lit to sci-fi-fantasy to trashy romance), indoor plants and outdoor gardening, letter writing, and all manner of crafty endeavors I've done once and always thought I'd get back to. I've hiked and camped a little, and traveled a lot. I can listen to most music, barring screamy/foul/whiny stuff. Although I don't have a true ear, I really enjoy classical music and going to symphony concerts. Classical music calms my mind right down. Dvorak's Serenade for Strings is one of my favorites.
I've fallen in love once, a long time ago. Although the love didn't last, the experience was a gift because I had been thoroughly skeptical that it was a real thing. It would be nice to find again someday.
Screen-wise, old black and white movies are often favorites. I'll argue until the end of time that The West Wing is the best piece of television writing ever produced. Most superhero flicks are a fun romp. It's really hard for me to separate myself from the characters on screen, so I tend to avoid realistic violence. Big emotions on screen tend to strike particularly hard; I'm definitely a crier. Most recently I enjoyed (and cried at) Everything Everywhere All At Once.
Physically, I'm short, with straight brown hair past my shoulders, blue eyes, a small upturned nose, and freckled white skin. I believe the polite phrase these days is thicc, but to cover all the bases I could also be described as curvy, a lil chubby, and slightly overweight. I rock 50s style dresses and would fit right into a Renaissance painting.
Wanna be friends? If you got this far, put PRIDE in your message :)

submitted by curvydumpling to r4r [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 03:06 Gumrush13 How to have a "life?"

Since COVID hit back in early 2020, I've noticed that my mental state has been slowly deteriorating, in part because I have led a pretty "sedentary" lifestyle all my life up to this point. For context, I am a 24 year old guy, who just turned 24 in April, and I am still living at home with my parents as I am currently applying for jobs (full-time employment). I graduated from a university back in Dececember of 2021 with a BS in IT and recently finished a coding bootcamp to learn full-stack web development (am now applying for jobs).
My dilemma is that I feel as if thought my life has no "point" or "goal" to it, and like I am moving nowhere, in regard to my future career and my personal life. Not in the sense that I am suicidal or have an existential crisis, but more so a lack of motivation/purpose. Although I work out and stay active (weightlifting and cardio) 3-4 times a week, I feel like my social/personal life has become stagnant and unfulfilling. I have a good group of close friends around where I live, but as I live into my mid 20s with my friends, everyone seems to have less and less time to spend time due to scheduling conflicts, their own personal lives, responsitibilities etc. and even beyond that, the occasional get together with my friends feels boring and unfulfilling unless its a friend I haven't seen in a while and we catch up, or we plan something exciting, like spearfishing/kayaking. My romantic life is non-existent as I have never been in a relationship and I don't really talk to women (because of social anxiety/fear of rejection), save for dating apps. I have hobbies like DJing and music production, and have become mildly involved with the art/music community in my city, but I feel relatively uninterested in it because I don't like going out to clubs (I'm into DJing/producing underground dance music) and I don't really see much in common with other artists in terms of identity/interests (besides music, obviously).
I have hobbies I want to get into like cycling and kayaking/paddleboarding to break my sedentary lifestyle, but at the moment I can not afford either a road bike or a kayak due to my financial circumstances. I just spend my days being on my computer, applying for jobs, working out once a day, maybe building a project for my resume in the meantime, and prepping for interviews. Days and weeks seem to fly by seamlessly. It's like my life is on autopilot, passing by and I feel like I don't know how to be in the moment and "enjoy" it. Even when I am with friends, I feel like I am unable to enjoy the moment. I feel like I am always seeing people being up to something: training for a triathlon, having a side gig in a band, traveling to a new country, experiencing a new relationship, beginning a new venture in life etc. and I just feel like life is passing me by and I am wasting time.

submitted by Gumrush13 to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 02:24 Brebly 35 [M4F] - Atlanta/US Anywhere - Dating with a purpose is not as easy as it looks!

Good evening everyone!
I'm here today hoping to find a genuine connection, or dating with a purpose. I've been through the ringer over the last 15 years or so, but I want to get back up on that horse and find my last relationship. I'd like to find someone who believes in having fun in life and is glass half full! Someone who likes to go on random adventures and likes to travel. Someone who can appreciate a guy who knows how to be respectful and treat a woman correctly, not be a thirsty boi lol. I'm not too picky on where you live, that's what planes are for and I like to travel! I don't mind if you have kids, I do not have any of my own, but not for lack of wanting them. I have a bunch of different interests and hobbies, would love to find someone who shares some of them!
A bit about me: 35 years old (Libra). Live in Georgia but I'm a Wisconsin native. I have 3 dogs, 2 senior dogs and a 6 month old Pittie puppy(ask for puppy pictures, she's just about the cutest dog ever. Or let's go on a doggie date!). I'm a gearhead and love any/everything about cars. I like just about all music. Very big about energy. Glass half full. Fun loving. Love to make people laugh and smile. Love to travel and go on road trips. Love to play video games(and hope you do too! I love playing video games with someone!) I enjoy hiking and kayaking. Always called a great guy or the nice guy(a blessing and a curse) I like to cook!
Here's a few pictures of me for reference: https://imgur.com/a/5GEcJh2
https://imgur.com/a/OboSMIW
Obligatory puppy picture: https://imgur.com/a/MnEdiLK
If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading all the way through. Hoping this catches someone's eye and get some positive chats and a genuine connection. Have a great day and talk to you soon!

submitted by Brebly to r4r [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 01:12 Gumrush13 How do I start living "life?"

submitted by Gumrush13 to Advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 00:54 Cheap_Ad4268 Long term relationship..what is happening?

Long story short, my bf is my first ever and we have been in a relationship for the past 13 years.
For context, he is a bit of a heavy drinker, use to smoke and his mom had bipolar disorder.
I (39) and Him (41) have been engaged for the past 6 years, but he didn't want to get married.
When I met him, I was a shy writer and from the get go, he told me there was no future in arts and I was delusional. I never been to university so he challenged me to try and get an education. I got a screenwriter certificate which he said recently was completely useless.
He works in science and he is very money oriented as he is coming from a poor family and build his own success.
Over the years, we had our shared of challenges, lost jobs, his mom had dementia, we were caregivers, he struggled with alcohol addiction and finally struggling with infertility.
He always been quite direct and no filters when talking about his opinion, but lately it's getting on my nerves.
When we finally went for our fertility assessment (I had 10 tests to do, he had 2) he was hesitant to do the last one and took forever.
When the results came back and his bad habits and my age were the culprits, the doctors suggested supplement and IUI. He refused to do IUI and said he will do the supplements first. He stopped smoking, but not drinking. If I asked him to take his supplements he will complaints like a child and said I should give them to him.
Lately, he started snapping at me or confront me for no reason. I went back to school in management and told me it was useless. If I go to work 2x a week, he gets anxious but if I'm working from home at the same time as him, he will get drunk and tries to hide it.
The other day, he got completely drunk and asked our neighbor for a cigarette while smirking at me because he knows I don't want him to smoke because of our fertility issues.
He snaps all the time when there's a slight inconvenience. (If a spoon wasnt cleaned properly before being put in the dishwasher he will sight loudly and be angry) each morning I prepare his lunch, coffee, smoothie and he still find reasons to blame something on me or be disrespectful. But the next day, he will be cuddly and affectionated.
When I got the news that I had a promotion + passing my night classes with good grades, we pickup food and he got into a road rage fit when a guy tried to get in front of me. He was driving recklessly and we almost hit a cyclist. When I said to be careful with this type of behavior when I was a passenger (I also thought I was pregnant) he got upset, blamed me for being sensitive and ignored me all night when I wanted to celebrated
He then blamed me for eating alone.
He always want to switch jobs, he doesn't like when I spend time on my hobbies and will be annoyed if I spend time on them. He will also get upset if I do overtime.
Lately his friends (which he used to call loosers) all had babies, step-up as fathers and also bought a house and got married. He will still downgraded their success.
We are quite lucky, healthy, we have good wealth and somehow, he always see the dark side. I help him a lot when we were caregivers for his mom, doing laundry, cookings meals, trying to mediate any arguments. When she passed, I supported him, I cleaned when he got trashed and broke furniture because of grief and somehow he forgot everything now.
I don't know how to feel.

submitted by Cheap_Ad4268 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 00:26 Internal_Prune_5108 contracting 101

Residential Contracting 101
With over 20 years of building experience, I would like to share with you my insights in navigating becoming a successful contractor. With many different avenues of the building world its key to understand what problems will arise on any given day. A man once told a saying that stuck-the 6 p’s in life- Piss Poor Preparation leads to Piss Poor Performance. Preparation builds everything in construction, without preparation the jobsite will not run correctly. The best advice I was ever given was to learn a little about every trade giving you the ability to understand trade lingo and secrets. An example would be painters use the terminology flash; this means when the sub structure bleads through the paint. Subcontractors will give the best pricing if they respect your knowledge of the industry. If the subcontractor feels they will have to hold your hand through the job they will charge an extra fee…i.e. I call it the aggravation fee. In this blog I will explain the key elements in finding success in all aspects of the industry. Contracting is a physically and emotionally demanding job which requires planning and foresight to complete projects on time within budget. Picking your customer is just as important as picking your employees or subcontractors. I have worked for some of the most demanding customers leading me to question at the end if the job was even worth it. Sleepless nights, constant changes, lack of payment, lawsuit threats, adding work that was in the contract are just a few things you could face with a tough customer. With so many moving parts at all times it is critical to be able to adapt to changes within a short time frame. Materials will come in damaged, subcontractors will be late, employees will get sick, but the deadline you set does not change. The stress can be overwhelming at times keeping your mind in a good place is key to navigating all that is thrown at you. Choosing your client picking the right jobs-Keep these questions in mind The first question to be asked is what the time frame is to start the job to see if it fits within the timeframe for your business. If the time frame doesn’t work then move on from the project or let them know when you would be available to start. If the client really wants to use, they will wait until you are available. Taking on too much work will only lead to problems. Construction is a serviced based business, staying on top of the project and client will eliminate an unhappy customer and construction issues that will be over seen. With online presence if details are missed and customer service lacks it will only be a matter of time the phone will not ring. The second question to be asked to the client is do they have a budget in mind for the project. If they answer yes this is good, follow through with what the budget is. If the budget seems low let them know, this will eliminate a tire kicker, educate them on what the price range could be. If the budget seems reasonable then continue the discussion to the next question. If they answer no let them know that you can give them an estimate to see if the project is feasible with their finical capabilities. Taking on a job that is not correctly budgeted will lead to an unsatisfied customer due to non-transparency of the construction cost. The third question to be asked is anyone else bidding on the job, if the answer is yes, understand you might just be number check for the contractor doing the job. Dig a little deeper and find out how many numbers they are getting and why. If your business model is to be competitive be completely transparent with customer, this will gain trust with them. Let them know you get what you pay for and if you they choose the lowest bid it could lead into lack of quality of work.
The fourth question I will ask is there any specific subcontractors they wanted to use. If the answer is yes then I would explain to them you only use the subcontractors you have a working relationship with. Otherwise, this could backfire as the subcontractor might not show, do subpar work, talk behind your back to the homeowner. In my experience I would stay away from using any homeowner to alleviate problems down the road. A quick conversation now can save headaches down the road. The fifth question I will ask are planning on getting the job permitted, this needs to be known it takes more time for the permitting process. Plans will have to drawn submitted and approved to the city before work can commence. The sixth question I will ask if a residential remodel is are you going to be living through the remodel if yes understand this will take more time to navigate the project due to answering questions and cleaning the house on a daily occurrence. I would recommend seeing if the customer would be willing to move into an Airbnb or friends for at least the demo portion of the project. If they do plan on living through the remodel add a couple hours a day to accommodate the extra time that will be required. The seventh question I would ask in a residential remodel is how old the house is to see if there is asbestos that would need to removed by a proper company. A home built before 1979 will most likely have some asbestos in the house, use a licensed company with proper insurance to dispose of the materials. If everything looks good to this point find out a little more about the client personality. If the client seems reasonable, I would bid the job. Unreasonable people can cause you more stress than its worth. These are some red flags I would look out for. Some jobs are not worth the money. Very demanding in the way you are going to perform your job- I.e., tell you how you are going to do your job- You’re the professional not them! Give you a hard time about your price- haggle with price you estimated- The price is the price! If they are a family with little money and you want to help them out is one thing, if they are trying to beat you down is another. Mention they have a lawyer-there is no need for them to bring up that they have a lawyer - Run for the hills as if the job goes south, you will be the one losing out! Tell you what the payment terms are. It’s your business you get paid how it works for your company. If you want to get paid every Friday, put it into your contract-If the clients do not agree move on it will save you frustrations If they talk bad about the last contractor, chances are they will talk bad about you. There is a reason why the contractor does not work for them anymore, unless he did subpar work this a red flag Clients are using an interior decorator that will purchasing all of the materials- The materials could be ordered incorrectly by the interior designer your company will not make the mark-up it deserves. Interior decorators usually add time to the job as well as act like your boss. Charging a little extra for the time and stress that it will entail is only fair. Clients want to purchase the materials- You are using your knowledge to buy the correct materials-The mark up on the materials keeps the doors open working for wages only pays the bills The husband and wife do not get along-You will become the mediator between the couple it will lead to taking sides a losing proposition- A drama free work place is always best! Dangling carrot-if you do this job the next one will be better-Only look at what there offering at the present moment, if its not a good fit do not take the job for a job down the road…Its not worth chasing a job that might not happen! The Art of the Sale First things first selling your company is all about presentation. In meeting your clients for the first time show up with a collared golf shirt tucked in, belt, nice jeans, and newer shoes. Have a truck that a clean, no dents scratches, preferably washed the day you are going into your meeting. Have a leather note pad that is clean no dirt or paint visible. Show up 5 minutes early, if you’re running a little late shoot them a text to let them know. Treat the situation as if were going on a first date, best foot forward. As you introduce yourself give them a warm greeting, letting them know you are very interested in the work. Find out a little about them, hobbies, where they lived, etc etc. You are going to be working with them on a daily basis its nice to know what makes them tick. Having a good working relationship from the start is key forming a solid relationship. As the conversation progresses find out who wears the pants in the family…ie who’s the final decision maker. If its fits the wife, chances it is…..then kindly let the husband know happy wife happy life when their in a stall mate on an issue. As your looking at the project throw in some suggestions of what you think would look good from past experiences, this will get their attention that you have knowledge and want what’s best for them. If you see ways to save them money in their project let them know, money is a large point of the sale keep that in mind. Mention that you’re not the least expensive contractor but you’re not the most expensive either. Your customer satisfaction is your number one goal which leads to more time spent on keeping them happy. One happy customer will lead to another, one unsatisfied customer leads to work in the future. Bring up the fact the finishing the job on time is key goal to your business, many contractors run several jobs at once causing the jobs to be finished way behind schedule. You must stand out as having integrity, good morals, and the ability to problem solve to get the job. The clients will be testing you to see if you’re a good fit as well. Keep in mind as you take your notes that you must not forget anything they mention as it will come back before the job is completed…i.e. we mentioned that to you before we started the job! Take pictures of the proposed area for work, that way you can use it to better right your estimate. Let them know you will give them a detailed outline of when the job will be completed letting them see how long each phase will take and correlate it with your payment schedule. Before you leave their house let them know when the estimate will be sent to them. MAKE SURE YOU HIT THAT DEADLINE! Once you sent the email over with estimate make sure you get confirmation that they received it. Wait at least 2 days before checking with them, hopefully they contact you first! If they want negotiate the price, let them know that it is the best price that you can manage, its not worth losing money before you start. I closed 80% of the work I estimated by being very transparent and friendly. If you come off with an attitude charge double what the going rates are you might only land 1 out of 10 jobs as well as getting the reputation of being expensive. Bidding the job Looking up industry standards on pricing is what I would go buy for pricing. If you google the coat of any installation there will be a cost range for everything. Looking at the cost ranging from high to low I would tend to be in the middle. Some items might be low on the internet if this is the case use your best judgment not to lose money. Closing sales is key to success and keep the doors open for business. Being in the middle on pricing is key as most customers shy away from contractors that are extremely low or high on the price range. I tend not bid out hourly as wages do not pay for retirement. Bidding is better as customers no the exact price of the cost of construction. It also keeps the job moving quicker as time and material contractors take longer to complete projects…Thus costing the client more money and valuable time they could spend in their house. Using a Contract Using a detailed estimate tied to a contract covers your butt in 99% of the time. Having a piece of mind that every aspect of the job is covered in the estimate and contract protects both your company and the client. Key terms to include in your estimate/contract are. Have a schedule on excel showing the start dates and dates of each trade this will show the customer you are organized with time lines. If not written in the detailed in the estimate the item is excluded- This ensures if its not written down its not included. TBD- To be Determined- A phrase on a line item that has yet to had final decision of products or service needed. -The pricing will follow the decisions to be finalized Give out what your written warranty will be for parts and labor this changes state to state. If the homeowner provides the product than no warranty will be given on that particular item. In the contract have a start date and end date with the verbiage subject to change due to weather, product delivery, change orders Have a progress payment schedule to ensure the client understands when funding will be expected-Including if not payment is rendered service to the project will stop. Have written terms of how change orders will be charged-cost plus 20% or a set fee Make sure in your contract that arbitration is required versus going to court- This will save lawyer fees and going to court Many contracts can be found online and each state requires different contracts
Finding leads Finding leads is easy with the right network of people. I personally do not find working for friends or family members a good fit. Relationships get strained when money is involved, causing undue stress for both parties. I have listed a couple of ways to build a network or find work using the internet. Get in contact with realtor’s- Realtors have a big client base of homeowners who need work done Contact local Architects to see if they are working with any general contractors Leave some business cards at your local materials suppliers-Doowindow/lumber-many times clients will ask salesman for a referral. Join a business networking group- BNI is one of many Join a internet website lead generation company- Houzz, Angie’s List, Home Advisor, thumbtack, Yelp run an ad on craigslist Use a marketing company to market your website-This could become costly with little results Create a Facebook business page Create a Yelp business page
Building your subcontractor base Having 2 subcontractors for every trade, gives you the flexibility of completing jobs on time if the one the subcontractors is too busy at the time you need their service. Your subcontractors are the face of your business, choose owner run companies that are professional. Check to make sure there license are up to date..ie workman’s comp, liability insurance, state license. Choosing subcontractors with lettered vans, logoed t-shirts is s key to looking professional in the clients’ eyes. In the past I have gotten a lot of subcontractors for material supply shops, stopping by jobsites, researching the internet using Yelp, Home Advisor, etc etc. Once you get one good subcontractor ask them if they know any other trades they would recommend. One good subcontractor leads to another in most cases. The key to having a good group of subcontractors is to let them know that you are there to get help them get the job done. They do work for you but without them you are nothing…keep that in mind! Make them aware a clean jobsite is required at the end of everyday to ensure the proper safety for all parties including theirs! Over the years I have referred a lot of companies work when there is only 1 trade needed. Referring work to subcontractors is a good way to get top priority when you have work that needs to be completed ASAP. Timing is everything in times of emergency having a good group of subcontractors will make your business run smoothly. Pay your subcontractors immediately after performing work, this will make them feel appreciated! A happy subcontractor is one that will gladly go the extra mile for you knowing that there not just a number to your business! Buying lunch once a week for the jobsite is always a good token of appreciation!
Supervising In supervising any jobsite its key to monitor everything from materials on hand, weather, vehicle parking (if applicable), jobsite safety, and subcontractors’ workmanship. If you hired a professional there should be little supervision in the work being performed, on rare occasions a new hire might need some mentoring to get the results completed correctly. If you see a problem with there work address it with the worker directly, no need to call his boss…. building repour with the worker letting him know you got his back goes miles down the road! Checking in on the job first in the morning to answer any questions or changes that need to be conveyed and once in the afternoon to make sure all work be completed is done per construction industry standards. A job that is run blindly will have many more issues than one that is watched over. I have seen many jobs with no site supervision, leading to subpar quality work as well as safety hazards. Its better to be like an eagle than cluck like a turkey!
Working with the City/Inspectors On permitted jobs the city and site inspector will be a large part of how smoothly the job runs. Each phase of construction has an inspection allowing for the project to continue. Make sure your subcontractors are aware that the project is inspected before starting the job. The best way to stay on his good side is to provide a clean jobsite and having the job built to the highest standards possible. When having the site inspected be courteous to the inspector asking any questions or concerns you have with the work during the job. Being completely transparent will save you aggravation of problems down the road. The more he trust you the better if you seem sneaky or rude he will make your life a living nightmare! Many inspectors will have an attitude towards you….I suggest keeping quiet and doing what ever he wants….he’s the boss no need to get in a pissing match you will not win at. How to deal with irate customer Stay calm during any argument with an irate customer. Never raise your voice or show that you are bothered by their disgruntled behavior. If the customer is trying to get more from you than agreed upon stand your ground. Worst case scenario is you walk from the job, which in the long run be more of a loss for the client. I have only run into a couple of these clients; they are unreasonable and not worth losing sleep over a few dollars. Its best to terminate the relationship as it would be my best guess that a referral from this customer would not be one you wanted anyway. If you feel it was just a miscommunication on your end, take reasonability and remedy the problem. Taking accountability for your mistake will go a far way in their eyes and on future issues that arise. Prepping the homeowner pre-construction Before starting the job, it very important to give the homeowners a warning of what will happen during the construction process.

All furniture in the proposed working area must be moved- I would recommend having the clients take care of this to limit the risk of damage to their belongings.
There will be dust that will be in the house up to 3 months after construction-I would recommend hiring a construction cleaning company at the end of the job even so after it is cleaned dust will be present months after words.
There will be conflicts between you in the homeowner at some course of the job. - You will do your best to eliminate them as quickly as they arise-i.e. material damages, miscommunication, job delays
All decisions on materials must be made before the start of the job- this will eliminate job stoppage due to materials not being on site.
All materials will be on site before commencement of job-
Payment structures must be made per contract otherwise job will stop until payment rendered
Cars are to be moved out of the driveway- Ensures ease of loading and unloading of materials/tools
Give the specific hours that workers will be present- i.e. 7-3:30
Determine what areas are allowed to be used as staging for tools/materials
If animals are present in the home that they put outside or in a room during the day
All valuables in the house are locked in safe
Ask if using client’s household bathroom is okay or to bring in Porter Potty
Being transparent as possible is key to keeping a great relationship with your client!

During Construction During construction it is key to take detailed photos to eliminate any damages that were not caused by the construction process. I would also make a video to ensure all areas are included. All subcontractors should also take progress pictures to ensure if problems arise in the future, they will not be responsible for any work that they did not perform. Keep an on-going log of progress to the homeowners and share the pictures for there records. This will keep homeowners excited of the progress being made. When the house is gutted to the studs it is important to have construction photos showing where all utilities are run in the walls or sub floor. If there is a problem in the future there will photos showing all utility locations. Protect all flooring with plywood or floor protective. I also like to protect front door and tarp all areas where subcontractors are to be working. Make sure to cover any chandeliers/furniture/doorways with plastic to eliminate dust. Ask the homeowners if they have any concerns that they could think of. We’re all human and possibly a detail was missed! Post Construction Phase If the project went smoothly appreciation should be shown to the customer. Find out if the husband likes a particular type of liquor. Bring the wife a bouquet of flowers. Send a Christmas card to the family letting how much you appreciated the work. You know you have done a good job if they tell you they will refer you to their friends. The best compliment you could receive is a good referral. In Summary Try to find a knitch in the market, I found kitchens to be a great remodel projects. Bathrooms are tough as they are small, expensive with little profit margin with every trade involved. Windows/doors are also another great knitch as they can be installed quickly. There are so many different remodeling items that can be stream lined to make the selling installing process flawless. Once the core group subcontractors are in place the job almost runs itself. Every day is a learning experience with new materials or methods in construction. Keeping up with codes, materials, fluctuating labor and material cost is a job within itself. Anyone can be a contractor with the right mindset.

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2023.06.02 23:14 Piano_Away 35 [M4R] Texas - Has to be a dorky/goofy/nerdy woman here

I apologize as it's a bit of a novel and doesn't quite make grammatical sense in some spots. I can read goodly now and again lol. The reason it says M4R is because I mainly like women and trans women but I also like a very very very specific type of guy and certain trans men as I'm partially bi. Chances are you aren't that type but feel free to ask if you are. (Didn’t want to offend anyone so I’d rather say in private) Just throwing that out there as it's a deal breaker for most women. Which why would it be? The number one reason I get is I'm going to cheat on them with a guy. As if being bi has any bearing on cheating and not the persons character.
I'm a 35 year old guy living in the middle-ish of Texas looking for a female partner. Partner as in LTR. That's Long Term Relationship meaning boyfriend and girlfriend and holding hands type of stuff. You know, adult things? I had someone comment I was too vague so this is me being specific. I'm gonna be honest and kinda sad so bare with me.
So I spent New Years alone (I realize it's June lol but I have yet to meet someone and I think the story is still somewhat relevant). Rang in the New Year in bed staring at the ceiling listening to fireworks go off into the night. The next day I cried randomly while browsing for a movie to watch on TV. At first I didn't know why as I'm not much of a crier but I realized for the first time that I genuinely felt alone. I have no partner, no family that I speak to, no friends just acquaintances, really no one there for me. That's my own doing which took years to accomplish through me being closed off and just shutting people out, so I figure it might take just as long to fix. I'm not complaining as I got myself into this predicament. It's gonna sound dumb but I wanted a New Years kiss. I'd never had one and it seemed like a fun dumb silly thing to do. Eh maybe one day. Ok well back to my spiel. (I'm not depressed or anything or wanting attention) Some of my hobbies and interests are movies, reading, cooking, kayaking, records, video games, board games, snorkeling, bowling, swimming, escape rooms, puzzles and antiquing. I would describe myself as more goofy and dorky than nerdy. I like to go out and do fun things but also stay in and cuddle and relax. I guess it depends on my mood and the weather. I prefer the cold and would love to live in a state with actual seasons and snow. I'm 5'10, stocky AKA fat and open for adventure and new experiences.
Here are some random facts about me:
Some of my favorite bands are: The Black Keys, Kings of Leon, The Beatles, Creedence Clearwater Revival and The White Stripes.
Christmas is my favorite holiday, mainly because of the cold and festive activities.
I come from a medium-ish family.
I'm exceptionally patient but every person has a breaking point lol
I like traveling a lot. It's a basic thing that lots of people like. But I've found lots of people hate to leave their house, town or state so if that's you we probably might not be a good match. I also enjoy the mountains. But I don't like roughing it (give me that sweet AC in the summer). Hiking is so hard on my knees and I haven't done it in a while that if I were to I think about doing it I'd about die or twist a kankle.
I don't eat seafood, mushrooms, artichokes or pineapple on pizza (Who cares about this? Doesn't mean I won't go to a restaurant with you that has these things)
Never went to college as I'm horrible in a classroom setting and at taking tests.
Have probably the most boring job imaginable (Ask me about it)
Overweight but trying to work on it and make better choices (Get healthier and lose weight together maybe?)
Non religious but no issue with what you believe. (If anything)
Looking into sterilization. If you are already maybe you can give me some info or tips?
My own red flags 🚩
I work too much and oftentimes can't talk.
I send selfies often. I'm a visual person and like receiving photos. Apparently it's a generational thing. Hopefully you think pictures are neat as well? Is it really that weird to want to see you and your life and show you mine?
I sometimes speedily become attached to people, not in a weird way, but if I like you and we have some kind of connection, I will enjoy talking to you and want to do it often.
I'm a very organized person and will plan out pretty much anything from a vacation to a road trip to a birthday. This makes being with a go with the flow type of person hard at times I've learned but still very much doable.
Due to childhood trauma I'm secretive which can be annoying.
MY own "HELL YES" 🏁
I know how to cook.
I will always drive if you want. (Within reason)
Great at escape rooms and jigsaw puzzles.
Can read a map.
Decent at reading backwards upside down writing.
What I'm looking for:
Is my age or older. But I'm willing to go quite a bit lower if you are neat and we have stuff in common. But super young isn't my goal here.
Mature, considerate, responsible and funny (Dorky wouldn't hurt)
Someone who never cheats, honesty and trust are important to me.
Someone who is open-minded, willing to try new things, be adventurous, funny and nerdy.
Someone who believes in sharing household chores equally because we are both adults.
Be open and frank about issues you or I are having. Not pushy or jealous. Won't yell or argue about stupid things, I've had enough of that.
Willing to push me to become a better version of myself (Can you turn me into Batman?)
If this sounds like you then feel free to reach out and say hi or challenge me to a game of Scrabble/Pictionary/hand to hand combat maybe? Maybe Wordle or some online vidya game?
P.S. I realize my post isn't for everyone but if your seeing red flags from my post then I'd say trust your gut and please don't message me as we probably aren't compatible. I honestly don't mean that in a mean or hurtful way. I've just been messaged quite often with women saying they pushed aside red flags to get to know me. Please don't, it never ends well and you end up wasting both of our time. Wouldn't you rather spend it finding your person with no flags?

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2023.06.02 23:12 Piano_Away 35 [M4R] Texas - Wanna not have kids together?

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2023.06.02 23:03 Piano_Away 35 [M4R] #Texas - Want to spend the summer together in a LTR?

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2023.06.02 23:01 Piano_Away 35 [M4R] Texas - Maybe we'll think we're both neat?

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2023.06.02 22:59 Piano_Away 35 [M4R] Texas - Love to get to know you

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2023.06.02 22:58 Joadzilla America Is Headed Toward Collapse

History shows how to stave it off.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/06/us-societal-trends-institutional-trust-economy/674260/
How has America slid into its current age of discord? Why has our trust in institutions collapsed, and why have our democratic norms unraveled?
All human societies experience recurrent waves of political crisis, such as the one we face today. My research team built a database of hundreds of societies across 10,000 years to try to find out what causes them. We examined dozens of variables, including population numbers, measures of well-being, forms of governance, and the frequency with which rulers are overthrown. We found that the precise mix of events that leads to crisis varies, but two drivers of instability loom large. The first is popular immiseration—when the economic fortunes of broad swaths of a population decline. The second, and more significant, is elite overproduction—when a society produces too many superrich and ultra-educated people, and not enough elite positions to satisfy their ambitions.
These forces have played a key role in our current crisis. In the past 50 years, despite overall economic growth, the quality of life for most Americans has declined. The wealthy have become wealthier, while the incomes and wages of the median American family have stagnated. As a result, our social pyramid has become top-heavy. At the same time, the U.S. began overproducing graduates with advanced degrees. More and more people aspiring to positions of power began fighting over a relatively fixed number of spots. The competition among them has corroded the social norms and institutions that govern society.
The U.S. has gone through this twice before. The first time ended in civil war. But the second led to a period of unusually broad-based prosperity. Both offer lessons about today’s dysfunction and, more important, how to fix it.
To understand the root causes of the current crisis, let’s start by looking at how the number of über-wealthy Americans has grown. Back in 1983, 66,000 American households were worth at least $10 million. That may sound like a lot, but by 2019, controlling for inflation, the number had increased tenfold. A similar, if smaller, upsurge happened lower on the food chain. The number of households worth $5 million or more increased sevenfold, and the number of mere millionaires went up fourfold.
On its surface, having more wealthy people doesn’t sound like such a bad thing. But at whose expense did elites’ wealth swell in recent years?
Starting in the 1970s, although the overall economy continued to grow, the share of that growth going to average workers began to shrink, and real wages leveled off. (It’s no coincidence that Americans’ average height—a useful proxy for well-being, economic and otherwise—stopped increasing around then too, even as average heights in much of Europe continued climbing.) By 2010, the relative wage (wage divided by GDP per capita) of an unskilled worker had nearly halved compared with mid-century. For the 64 percent of Americans who didn’t have a four-year college degree, real wages shrank in the 40 years before 2016.
As wages diminished, the costs of owning a home and going to college soared. To afford an average house, a worker earning the median wage in 2016 had to log 40 percent more hours than she would have in 1976. And parents without a college degree had to work four times longer to pay for their children’s college.
Even college-educated Americans aren’t doing well across the board. They made out well in the 1950s, when fewer than 15 percent of 18-to-24-year-olds went to college, but not today, when more than 60 percent of high-school grads immediately enroll. To get ahead of the competition, more college graduates have sought out advanced degrees. From 1955 to 1975, the number of students enrolled in law school tripled, and from 1960 to 1970, the number of doctorate degrees granted at U.S. universities more than tripled. This was manageable in the post–World War II period, when the number of professions requiring advanced degrees shot up. But when the demand eventually subsided, the supply didn’t. By the 2000s, degree holders greatly outnumbered the positions available to them. The imbalance is most acute in the social sciences and humanities, but the U.S. hugely overproduces degrees even in STEM fields.
This is part of a broader trend. Compared with 50 years ago, far more Americans today have either the financial means or the academic credentials to pursue positions of power, especially in politics. But the number of those positions hasn’t increased, which has led to fierce competition.
Competition is healthy for society, in moderation. But the competition we are witnessing among America’s elites has been anything but moderate. It has created very few winners and masses of resentful losers. It has brought out the dark side of meritocracy, encouraging rule-breaking instead of hard work.
All of this has left us with a large and growing class of frustrated elite aspirants, and a large and growing class of workers who can’t make better lives for themselves.
The decades that have led to our present-day dysfunction share important similarities with the decades leading to the Civil War. Then as now, a growing economy served to make the rich richer and the poor poorer. The number of millionaires per capita quadrupled from 1800 to 1850, while the relative wage declined by nearly 50 percent from the 1820s to the 1860s, just as it has in recent decades. Biological data from the time suggest that the average American’s quality of life declined significantly. From 1830 to the end of the century, the average height of Americans fell by nearly two inches, and average life expectancy at age 10 decreased by eight years during approximately the same period.
This popular immiseration stirred up social strife, which could be seen in urban riots. From 1820 to 1825, when times were good, only one riot occurred in which at least one person was killed. But in the five years before the Civil War, 1855 to 1860, American cities experienced no fewer than 38 such riots. We see a similar pattern today. In the run-up to the Civil War, this frustration manifested politically, in part as anti-immigrant populism, epitomized by the Know-Nothing Party. Today this strain of populism has been resurrected by Donald Trump.
Strife grew among elites too. The newly minted millionaires of the 19th century, who made their money in manufacturing rather than through plantations or overseas trade, chafed under the rule of the southern aristocracy, as their economic interests diverged. To protect their budding industries, the new elites favored high tariffs and state support for infrastructure projects. The established elites—who grew and exported cotton, and imported manufactured goods from overseas—strongly opposed these measures. The southern slaveholders’ grip on the federal government, the new elites argued, prevented necessary reforms in the banking and transportation systems, which threatened their economic well-being.
As the elite class expanded, the supply of desirable government posts flattened. Although the number of U.S. representatives grew fourfold from 1789 to 1835, it had shrunk by mid-century, just as more and more elite aspirants received legal training—then, as now, the chief route to political office. Competition for political power intensified, as it has today.
Those were cruder times, and intra-elite conflict took very violent forms. In Congress, incidences and threats of violence peaked in the 1850s. The brutal caning that Representative Preston Brooks of South Carolina gave to Senator Charles Sumner of Massachusetts on the Senate floor in 1856 is the best-known such episode, but it was not the only one. In 1842, after Representative Thomas Arnold of Tennessee “reprimanded a pro-slavery member of his own party, two Southern Democrats stalked toward him, at least one of whom was armed with a bowie knife,” the historian Joanne Freeman recounts. In 1850, Senator Henry Foote of Mississippi pulled a pistol on Senator Thomas Hart Benton of Missouri. In another bitter debate, a pistol fell out of a New York representative’s pocket, nearly precipitating a shoot-out on the floor of Congress.
This intra-elite violence presaged popular violence, and the deadliest conflict in American history.
The victory of the North in the Civil War decimated the wealth and power of the southern ruling class, temporarily reversing the problem of elite overproduction. But workers’ wages continued to lag behind overall economic growth, and the “wealth pump” that redistributed their income to the elites never stopped. By the late 19th century, elite overproduction was back, new millionaires had replaced the defeated slave-owning class, and America had entered the Gilded Age. Economic inequality exploded, eventually peaking in the early 20th century. By 1912, the nation’s top wealth holder, John D. Rockefeller, had $1 billion, the equivalent of 2.6 million annual wages—100 times higher than the top wealth holder had in 1790.
Then came the New York Stock Exchange collapse of 1929 and the Great Depression, which had a similar effect as the Civil War: Thousands of economic elites were plunged into the commoner class. In 1925, there were 1,600 millionaires, but by 1950, fewer than 900 remained. The size of America’s top fortune remained stuck at $1 billion for decades, inflation notwithstanding. By 1982, the richest American had $2 billion, which was equivalent to “only” 93,000 annual wages.
But here is where the two eras differed. Unlike the post–Civil War period, real wages steadily grew in the mid-20th century. And high taxes on the richest Americans helped reverse the wealth pump. The tax rate on top incomes, which peaked during World War II at 94 percent, stayed above 90 percent all the way until the mid-1960s. Height increased by a whopping 3 inches in roughly the first half of the 20th century. Life expectancy at age 10 increased by nearly a decade. By the 1960s, America had achieved a broad-based prosperity that was virtually unprecedented in human history.
The New Deal elites learned an important lesson from the disaster of the Civil War. The reversal of elite overproduction in both eras was similar in magnitude, but only after the Great Depression was it accomplished through entirely nonviolent means. The ruling class itself was an important part of this—or, at least, a prosocial faction of the ruling class, which persuaded enough of their peers to acquiesce to the era’s progressive reforms.
As the historian Kim Phillips-Fein wrote in Invisible Hands, executives and stockholders mounted an enormous resistance to the New Deal policies regulating labor–corporate relations. But by mid-century, a sufficient number of them had consented to the new economic order for it to become entrenched. They bargained regularly with labor unions. They accepted the idea that the state would have a role to play in guiding economic life and helping the nation cope with downturns. In 1943, the president of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce—which today pushes for the most extreme forms of neoliberal market fundamentalism—said, “Only the willfully blind can fail to see that the old-style capitalism of a primitive, free-shooting period is gone forever.” President Dwight Eisenhower, considered a fiscal conservative for his time, wrote to his brother:
Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things … Their number is negligible and they are stupid.
Barry Goldwater ran against Lyndon Johnson in 1964 on a platform of low taxes and anti-union rhetoric. By today’s standards, Goldwater was a middle-of-the-road conservative. But he was regarded as radical at the time, too radical even for many business leaders, who abandoned his campaign and helped bring about his landslide defeat.
The foundations of this broad-based postwar prosperity—and for the ruling elite’s eventual acquiescence to it—were established during the Progressive era and buttressed by the New Deal. In particular, new legislation guaranteed unions’ right to collective bargaining, introduced a minimum wage, and established Social Security. American elites entered into a “fragile, unwritten compact” with the working classes, as the United Auto Workers president Douglas Fraser later described it. This implicit contract included the promise that the fruits of economic growth would be distributed more equitably among both workers and owners. In return, the fundamentals of the political-economic system would not be challenged. Avoiding revolution was one of the most important reasons for this compact (although not the only one). As Fraser wrote in his famous resignation letter from the Labor Management Group in 1978, when the compact was about to be abandoned, “The acceptance of the labor movement, such as it has been, came because business feared the alternatives.”
We are still suffering the consequences of abandoning that compact. The long history of human society compiled in our database suggests that America’s current economy is so lucrative for the ruling elites that achieving fundamental reform might require a violent revolution. But we have reason for hope. It is not unprecedented for a ruling class—with adequate pressure from below—to allow for the nonviolent reversal of elite overproduction. But such an outcome requires elites to sacrifice their near-term self-interest for our long-term collective interests. At the moment, they don’t seem prepared to do that.

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