Sincerely
Ba-doh, ba-doh, ba-doh, ba-doh-ba
Sincerely, oh yes, sincerely
'Cause I love you so dearly, please say you'll be mine
-The Moonglows
Part I - The End
This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. If I keep saying it maybe it will be true.
But it was happening. Tough times. Humpty Dumpty times. Out of gas in the desert with no bars times.
And, just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse than a Tijuana root canal; she walked in. Out of the sweltering Mexican heat, into the dim bar, she came; the only thing standing between me and the blinding light. I heard a couple of gunshots somewhere in the distance.
I still remember how the sun illuminated my 2pm rise and shine, shit-faced full of no caffeine afternoon after, hair of the dog; tequila shot and beer. Like I said, tough times on the Ponderosa, Hoss.
Every time I think of that moment, I stand transfixed in time. Unable to move, frozen in-place tighter than a suckered kid’s tongue to a Chicago lamppost in a February ice storm. Maggie had long ago won my heart’s devotion only to betray both me, and it, in ways still inconceivable to my sauce pan of a brain.
So, a couple of months ago, my life in post-apocalyptic ruin, I did what any red-blooded American would do; I flew across the border to CDMX to drown my sorrows in tequila and cheap living. And now, incomprehensibly, here she was; back, again like the September monsoon. Had the bitch air tagged me?
It seemed with Maggie my heart’s devotion was not enough. Everything she wanted and received soon became a dull knife; just ain’t cutting. Mags had to have it all, all the time. And I thought she had gotten all of me and more. Who’d think she’d want to pick at the carcass? But inexplicably, there she was like my constant migraine, the one that never really left the base of my skull.
Without a word Mags swooped in close like she missed me and now hadda kiss me.
Then, quicker than lightning showing off, she plunged her delicate-boned hand deep into my chest. She then removed it with even greater alacrity holding it high above her jet-black mane. She waved it for all the bar to see, my still beating corazón in it, color-coordinating against it’s will with her manicure, making what looked like vague Italian gestures.
Nobody in the bar paid us any mind.
I, on the other hand, couldn’t help but avert my horrified gaze into my now exposed chest cavity, only to witness darkness within darkness gazing back at me.
“Heyyyyyy,” a voiceless voice greeted and saluted.
I looked up at Maggie. She took the seat opposite mine. Then reaching over with her free hand commandeered my tequila and knocked it back quick. Her encore was to grab my beer and drain it with all the mud she could muster into my eye. Then, with a satisfied look she dropped the now emptied bottle on the wooden table hard enough to make a thud.
Maggie then met my stare. My cardia beating peripatetically in her freshly manicured right-hand she made an elaborate shrug, her face smug as a tyrant’s fart.
I remembered wondering what the fuck was keeping my cardio so vascular. It sure as fuck wasn’t clean living. Then, that voiceless voice had yet more to say.
“Now what, Spenser?” it asked.
Now, it was now my turn to shrug. Surprisingly, despite being a now certifiably heartless son of a bitch, I, too, had something to say. So, I said it.
“You’re fucking diabolical, Maggie.”
My words of judgment echoed clear, permeating deep into the abyss, then back again at Maggie. She caught my words easier than a kitten catches smiles. She just shrugged again. It was starting to get annoying.
“You ruined me,” I added just to be doing something.
The shrug undulated down from her tan and toned shoulder through her arm, finally coming to a full stop at her finger’s tips.
Waving my heart at me with more vague Italian gestures Mags asked, “How can you be so sure, Spenser?”
Part II – The Middle
Sincerely, oh you know how I love you
I'll do anything for you, please say you'll be mine
...
This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. My new mantra wasn’t working.
Six months ago, I thought Maggie was the answer to my dreams.
Swooping down like an angel to shower me with attention and affection. Dinners with wine. Hot sex. More hot sex. No strings attached. Getting to know you pillow talk.
Now, there’s one thing I need to add. I met her through a dating app but as it turned out we both worked for the same nonprofit. We didn’t know each other as it’s a fairly big company but it turned out I supported the code for both her projects. This turned out to be one of many coincidences.
We both hated our jobs. We both liked writing short stories but never could sell a thing despite writing dozens and dozens. We both could dance salsa, on 1 and 2 and loved to hablar en español que no era muy guapo.
We both wanted to run away to Mexico city and live the Bohemian life.
Coincidences like we both grew up in NYC and had issues with our respective families of origin. And while she was Chinese-American and I was Russian-American both our fathers were born in the same year and were obsessed with Woody Allen. We both had much younger siblings we didn’t speak to.
Yeah, we had both grown up with weak fathers and selfish narcissistic mothers in common. And worser still, we had both experienced unstable living situations in high school. In my case, I was kicked out of the house for smoking weed.
In Maggie’s case, I never really was sure what went down but the best I could get out of her was at 13 she got pissed at her mom for cheating on her dad and left the house with nowhere to go. She ended up with family friends or relatives but the details were always murky and I was not the nosey type.
Her words to me were, “My mother’s emotional IQ is low. I raised myself.”
Impressively, she had made it through the Ivy League and seemed to be someone down to earth I could spend time with. But truth be told from the minute I saw her profile picture I was hotter than a Texas chili sprout for her.
It was some kind of primal attraction I thought I was long past entertaining. It wasn’t lust. It wasn’t love. It was like the thought of coming home to a family I never knew I had or that even could exist.
This shit made old me feel like young me again. But, as oft is the case in life, there was a problem. I was old, broke and probably about to lose my job. I was in IT and I was having problems with my manager being a psychopath; for reals.
It wasn’t mere conjecture as he had a reputation of getting people fired, or worse, making their lives so miserable they would quit; even with no prospects. I had been the focus of his sabotaging efforts and it had been having a bad effect on my mental and physical well-being.
This had taken a turn for the worse and I was catching a lot of passive aggressive hostility on the project Maggie supported.
Anyway, she was the bright spot in my otherwise mostly solitary and emotionally bleak life. And she lived nearby. She had an ex and kids and shared custody but I never met them and she didn’t really talk much about it except to say once, “You should need a license to have kids.”
I never had quite known what to make of some of the things she said, but like I said, I was under her spell. And I liked it.
And the icing on top? I had a dominant kinky side and that was a fire Maggie poured gasoline on every chance she got. She was worse than an arsonist in Underoo Town.
One weird thing about Mags was her knitting habit. If we weren’t fucking or eating she was knitting. Even at restaurants and bars.
One day in November, with the sun golden in a sky so blue you thought you could touch it I asked, “What are you knitting?”
Maggie gave me a wry look. She got out of her chair and seemed to be examining my bald head which I had shaved just that morning.
“A hat,” she replied.
But as the holidays rolled around things started to change. One Sunday morning as we were having coffee Maggie looked around the crowded steamy café.
“Everybody’s hooking up for the holidays,” she remarked.
I didn’t really know what to do with that one so I let it be.
But as the days went on there was a change in the weather. Fewer texts. Less sex. Maggie going out of town to some vague destination. Sending me sexy pictures of herself in Santa outfits after I caught the flu during Christmas.
A few days after Christmas I got a text late one night.
“Is it okay if I come by?”
“Very okay,” was my reply.
Maggie showed up with chocolate, red wine and the hat she had been knitting. Orange Afghani wool softer than a golden retriever’s fur. She put the hat on my head and then removed all my clothes.
“Let’s celebrate Christmas, Spenser.”
And, we did.
When we were done and lying head-to-head, I said, “I love my hat.”
Maggie said, “I made it especially for you. No matter what, don’t lose it.”
It was another one of those weird Maggie things she said, like, “I used to shoplift,” and shit like that.
I nodded.
“Promise me you’ll hold on to your hat, Spenser.”
“I promise.”
Maggie observed my face, then nodded as if confirming something to herself.
“Okay.”
Then we did that thing again.
That was the pinnacle. Things quickly went downhill for no reason I could discern. Texts unanswered and when answered; kind of abrupt-like. Being unavailable. Stuff with her kids. Time away in Connecticut for some vague reason. After that I began feeling like the weakest card in a gambler’s hand.
But Maggie kept shoe horning me in at odd times, giving me just enough crumbs to keep me on the hook. And as we rode the roller coaster down everything always seemed to center around alcohol. And sex. More and more debauched sex. Finally, by New Year’s Eve things were getting straight-up weird no chaser.
“You know that thing we talked about?”
By her tone I knew what she meant. I nodded cautiously.
“You want to try it?”
Maggie dropped a smile on me that would have had the serpent in the garden applying for unemployment.
“Yes,” she said.
So, we did.
I thought I had been imagining things. I thought we were back at the pinnacle. I could feel the love drug course through my veins. Things couldn’t be better. Or, so I thought.
Oh Lord, won't you tell me why
I love that girlie so
The Following Monday
The next Monday I was called into what turned out to be the most fucking bizarre moment of my fifty-eight years on this planet; and I’ve had some bizarre fucking moments growing up in south Brooklyn in the 1970’s; believe you me.
The company’s CIO, compliance officer, head of legal, head of HR and my evil manager, Conte Rugen were all in attendance, cameras ROLLING.
It appears I was being dismissed after 8 years loyal service for sexual assault, extortion, harassment, hate speech, insults to farm animals and every fucking other offense against God and man one could commit in these holiest of holy United States of America.
And just who had I… who had I.. victimized? Who had I preyed upon? Harassed? Gone full nutso on?
Maggie.
They had the goods. Recordings. Video. Ropes. Whips. Chains. Bad Spanglish. Maggie screaming, “No, papi! No!!!!”
I believe I was, what is known in legal parlance as, summarily fucked.
Nobody wanted to hear my side. How things were taken out of context. Things we had mutually consented to out of exciting and bonding trust and exploration.
“Did I have consent agreement?” I parroted back in shock to the head of legal.
“Did you get one when you fucked your mother in the ass before she shat you out?” I added just to keep my mouth from puking.
I was in bombshell shock. Maggie was my angel. Our situationship was supposed to be fucking healing from our abused childhoods and here I am now some kind of Tarantinoesque, Mr. Fucking Rapist? And my fucking manager once bragging about throwing a cat out a window when he was a juvenile delinquent?!?
There would be charges pressed. I would need an attorney. I might be arrested.
And it all happened faster than you can say, “Blue Monday, How I hate Blue Monday”.
And then Maggie sued the company. Take no fucking prisoners, Maggie. Disco-fucking-inferno burn that mother down we don’t need no water let the motherfucker burn Maggie. I wondered if her ex had been left on food stamps after the divorce.
A few months and my life savings and retirement account after that the criminal case got pleaded down to misdemeanor assault and I was able to arbitrate with my employer and Maggie’s lawyer leaving me with some clothes, my passport and precisely enough plastic to fly into the sweltering Mexican heat. So, fly into it I did.
Part III – The Beginning
Sincerely, oh you know how I love you
I'll do anything for you, please say you'll be mine
Oh Lord, won't you tell me why
I love that girlie so
She doesn't want me
But I'll never never never never let her go
...
“I wish you’d stop waving that thing at me,” I said gesturing at my heart with my chin.
“You’re still upset,” Maggie said. It wasn’t a question.
“You fucking abused me. You fucking eviscerated me. Yeah, you could say I’m a little perturbed.”
“But you’re still wearing the hat,” she said smiling.
“It’s a bad ass hat,” I said. It was after all. Why cut off your nose to spite your face?
“I put a lot of time and thought into it,” she said. My heart continued to beat in her hand.
...
Oh Lord, won't you tell me why
I love that girlie so
She doesn't want me
But I'll never never never never let her go
...
“Look,” she said waving my heart at me.
“I really wish you wouldn’t wave that around like that.”
The voice in the abyss in my chest spoke. It said, “Wait for it.”
Maggie said, “Spenser, you poor fucking sap. You hate your fucking job. You try to do the right fucking thing and speak up and you get kicked around like a dog. You try to love hard and you get beat up and left in an alley. You try to write books and start businesses and you end up bankrupt or dead.
And now look at you! You don’t have a care in the fucking world. You don’t have a shitty job. You are in beautiful Mexico City with the girl of your dreams. You say your heart was hardened? Well, I say it feels pretty fucking soft and sweet to me. Like the hat I knitted you. With the pom pom. And you know what?”
“What?” I heard myself murmur?
The abyss in my chest said, “Yeah, what?”
“Well, one the fucking pom pom has a beacon so I knew where you were the whole fucking time you sap. So I can tell you this true. And I will. So here I am in fucking Mexico sweating my tits off. And I am telling you this," she said nodding at my cardio, "is a very good heart. And I am putting it back where it belongs.
There is nothing wrong with it and now nobody can hurt it again. And if you want to write a book now you have something, and someone,” she added with a wry smile, “to write about.”
Then lightning quick Maggie put it back in my chest and removing her hand made a quick flourish gesturing for the waitress.
“Botella de tequila, por favor!”
I looked down at my chest. Everything seemed to be the way it had been before she ripped out my heart. Only different.
I was about to speak. Maggie raised a hand.
The waitress appeared like a wraith and put down a bottle of Don Julio and two fresh shot glasses and two cold ones.
Maggie poured two shots and pushed one at me with the hand that had been holding my cardio captive. She then fished around in her pocket and found her phone.
“What the fuck, right," that's what your thinking, Spenser. Yeah, what the fuck is right. Look at this baby boy,” she said and then pushed her phone next to the shot glass.
I was looking at what appeared to be a bank balance that appeared ready, willing and able to face fuck an extraordinarily tall giraffe. I felt the migraine disappear like a bad dream.
Maggie gave me a wry smile.
She pushed the shot glass closer to me and picked hers up. I felt my elbow bending. It felt okay.
She tilted her shot at me and said, "Here's looking at you, kid," and took the shot. I drank mine.
We put our glasses down.
“You can negotiate anything," she said, then added, "sincerely.”
And then, then she kissed me.
Oh say you'll be mine
Oo-eee, oo-eee-oo, ooi-ooi-ooo
Sincerely

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Enjoy Illinois 300 at World Wide Technology Raceway
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Race Length: 240 laps (300 mi / 482.8 km)
Race Stages: 45-95-100
Track Information: World Wide Technology Raceway is a 1.25 mile (2.01 kilometer) oval located in Madison, IL USA.
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Hello everyone,
I moved to Palatine last year and was curious what you all think are some of the best restaurants in the area. Places such as Schaumburg, Arlington Heights, Lake Zurich, Rolling Meadows. Pretty much any of the suburbs within 20 minutes or so of me.
The type of food I like are burgers, steaks, Italian, Mexican etc

TL;DR: A Singaporean’s comparison and experience of living in Bangkok, AMA.
Recently seen a lot of posts about moving from Singapore to another country and thought I would share my own experiences about moving from Singapore to Bangkok and some pros and cons of each location.
Please kindly take note that this is all from my personal experience and knowledge and may not apply to everyone.
​
Background:
I (30M) first experienced living and working in Bangkok due to an internship. The internship was mandatory but the location was not specified. I chose Bangkok having never lived there before and ended up liking it so decided to do another internship in Bangkok the following year. After completion, I managed to land a full time job in Bangkok and have been living in Bangkok for 7.5 years now. I am in the hospitality industry.
​
Visa:
In order to stay legally in Thailand, you’ll need to be on the proper visa. You could come in on visa exemption and then do visa runs, but in the long run, it is not a viable option especially since immigration is cracking down on visa runs.
I have listed essentially the easiest visa’s to obtain to live in Thailand legally.
- Non-Immigrant B: Get hired by a company in Thailand, where they will issue you with a work permit and you are allowed to legally work in the role that is written in the work permit. The visa will be valid so long as you are employed.
- Non-Immigrant ED: Enroll into a language school to learn Thai or join a Muay Thai gym. Typically the visa lasts for a year. Working on this visa is illegal.
- Non-Immigrant O-A & O-X: Retirement visa, you need to be 50 years and above. Working on this visa is illegal.
- Non-Immigrant O (Thai Spouse): Get married to a Thai national. The visa is valid as long as you are legally married. Working on this visa is legal.
- Elite Visa: Essentially a paid visa that allows you to stay legally from 5 years up to 20 years. The price starts at THB 600K (one-time fee) up to THB 2M. Working on this visa is illegal.
​
Work Opportunities:
From the above mentioned visas, I only have experience with the Non-Immigrant B visa as I am employed in Bangkok. I may decide to change to the Non-Immigrant O (Thai Spouse) visa when I get married to my Thai partner next year.
Getting employed in Thailand is a route that a lot of people choose when first deciding to move to Thailand. There are essentially 2 options that someone could choose:
- Employee: Get hired by a Thai company. There are a list of prohibited jobs for foreigners in Thailand such as hairdresser, Thai massage, tour guide, legal services (you can be a consultant though). Legally there is also a minimum salary for foreigners to earn. For Singaporeans, the minimum salary / month is THB 45K however there are also loopholes in order for employees to avoid paying this much. This minimum salary does not apply to teaching. Some of the most popular jobs for foreigners are in education (teacher), tech, marketing, consulate / embassy, diving instructor, hospitality and work for an MNC.
- Business Owner: Opening your own business is another way to work in Thailand. The most popular registration choice for foreigners is to open a limited company. You will only have ownership of 49% of the company, and the remaining 51% needs to be owned by a Thai person. Many foreigners will put the 51% in their Thai spouse’s name. It is also possible to have 2 Thai’s own the 51% (25.5% each) so that the foreigner still has majority ownership. You can also then apply for a work permit however need to have four Thai workers per foreigner employed and THB 2 M in capital.
​
Salary & Income:
In general, the salary in Thailand is significantly lower than in Singapore, however the cost of living is also more expensive. My first salary in Bangkok was gross THB 45K / month, take home pay was around THB 38K. That is roughly S$1,500. I lived a mostly Thai lifestyle, with little to no savings each month. Thankfully I am now on a salary higher than if I was in the same position in Singapore. I would advise that a salary of THB 50K / month is the minimum that any Singaporean should be willing to take in order to move to Bangkok. Anything THB 100K / month and you’ll be able to live comfortably on a mixed of local + foreigner lifestyle so long as you have no kids or don’t intend to send them to international school.
The best is if you end up on an expat contract and you will have your basic salary (usually paid in USD) + housing allowance + yearly flight tickets back home + international school fees for your kids paid for. Obviously this is subject to the company but I have heard of people also getting transport allowance, grocery shopping allowance, company car and driver, live-in maid, etc.
​
Working Life:
Tasks in Singapore get done. And they get done fast. Singapore is efficient and as much as Singaporeans love queuing (for food), they also don’t like waiting. However, working in Singapore can be very competitive. The so called ‘rat race’ starts the moment you enter working life. Depending on the industry, overtime is often expected. The “kiasu” mentality in Singaporeans often causes the over-competitiveness at the workplace.
Working life in Thailand is quite the opposite of Singapore. Thai employees generally take things slower. Decisions that can be made in 1 day in Singapore, can take 1 month in Thailand. Many Thai workers just want to do their 8-10 hours a day, grab a beer after work, go home to sleep and then repeat the next day. Thai employees are also generally less competitive compared to Singaporeans, thus as a Singaporean working in Bangkok, I am able to stand out amongst my Thai colleagues and was able to progress much faster in my career compared to if I was working in the competitive Singaporean environment. In Thailand, “saving face” is very important especially at the management level. The practice of “saving face” is not something that many westerners understand and are used to, thus is often a disadvantage to them.
​
Condo, Apartments & Houses:
To be honest, I cannot speak about the Singapore property market and prices because I have no firsthand experience. I have never bought or rented any property in Singapore before. I can only share the prices in Bangkok for you guys to compare.
In Bangkok, a typical 1 bedroom condo (30 SQM to 35 SQM) can be found for THB 10K (S$388) to THB 15K (S$582) per month. These condos are typically within a 10 – 20 minute BTS/MRT ride into the city center. The further out you go, the cheaper condos are. Alternatively, the closer you are to the city center, the more expensive the condo’s get.
Local apartments are even cheaper and can be rented under THB10K per month. Some apartments even have rooms for rent that are THB 3000 (S$116) per month, however the room is usually quite small (20 SQM), has no kitchen, sometimes no hot water, sometimes no AC, and is in a very local area of Bangkok. It is literally a room with a bed and a bathroom inside.
There are also houses for rent in Bangkok. There are 2 major types of houses: the first are standalone houses and the second are called townhouses (essentially a house in a gated community). These can range from THB 25K (S$970) to more than THB 100K (S$3880) per month depending on the size, location, age, etc.
Alternatively, if you decide to, foreigners can also legally purchase condos under certain regulations. Every condo has a foreigner quota which essentially every condo need to be 51% majority owned by a Thai national. So if a condo has 100 units, minimum 51 units need to be owned by a Thai national. If the current condo only has 50 units owned by a Thai, then a foreigner is unable to purchase a unit in that condo project until 1 more unit is owned by a Thai. Condos can be bought starting from THB 1M (S$38.8K) to THB 100M (S$3.8M) depending on the size and location.
Owning land in Thailand by foreigners is not allowed. There are some ways and loopholes of getting around it such as setting up a business in Thailand. Lots of foreigners who marry a Thai national end up putting the land under their partners name and by getting a usufruct / right of superficies, it protects the foreigners in the sense that their partner would be unable to sell the land without the permission of the foreigner. It is honestly quite complicated and I personally went through this route.
The townhouse that I purchased cost around THB 12.5M (S$485K) and is roughly 250 SQM (2690 SQFT), with 4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms, with a decent sized garden and garage large enough for 2 cars. It is in a good location (not in the city center) with a 20 minute drive into the city center. With S$485K, I am not sure if you could even buy a 2 or 3 bedroom HDB in a not so desired district in Singapore.
​
Food:
Singapore has hawker centers while Bangkok has street food. Street food in Bangkok is cheap, usually starting from THB 40. Singapore hawker centers are relatively affordable although there have been a significant increase in prices over the past couple of years. There are also a wide variety of eateries from food courts to Michelin Starred restaurants, with lots of different types of cuisines in both cities. Prices in both cities can range from cheap to crazy expensive, so it really depends on what kind of budget and lifestyle you have.
​
Cost Of Living:
It is well known that Singapore has an expensive cost of living, while the cost of living in Bangkok is cheaper. It is not S$1 for a one beer kind of cheap, but it’s definitely cheaper than Singapore. I have not lived in Singapore for the past 9 years so I am not in touch with the current prices in Singapore. So I will just share the prices in Bangkok.
Gym memberships in Bangkok are usually around THB 1000 (S$38) to THB 1500 (S$58) a month. A foot / Thai massage cost THB 250 (S$10) to THB 350 (S$13) per hour, a ticket in the cinema is about THB 250 (S$10). A drink in a bar is around THB 150 (S$6) to THB 250 (S$10) depending on the type of establishment. I could go on and on but in generally most things are cheaper in Bangkok than in Singapore.
​
Transport:
- Public Transport: Public transport in Singapore is reliable. Living in Singapore, it is generally convenient to take the bus and MRT for transport.
In Bangkok, if you live in the city center you will have no issue using only the BTS & MRT to get around. Buses are not reliable due to the sheer amount of traffic. Alternatively, using motorcycle taxis are also a viable option for short to medium distances. If you lived in the suburbs or even other provinces such as Chiang Mai & Phuket, you’ll either have to buy / rent a car or motorcycle, use Grab or a songthaew (shared pickup truck).
- Motorcycle Ownership: Purchasing your own motorcycle is also a popular option. A new Honda Click 150 can be bought for around THB 61K (S$2.3k).
- Car Ownership: The cheapest first hand car in Singapore is roughly around S$80,000 to S$90,000 (THB 2M to THB 2.3M). On top of that, Singapore’s COE in May (1st bidding) for CAT A closed at S$101,001 (THB 2.5M).
In Thailand, cars start around THB 500K. An entry level Mercedes Benz A-Class will cost around THB 1.9 M (S$74,000). Cheaper cars in Thailand do come with a price and that is the traffic in Bangkok. During peak period, expect your 15 minute car ride to extend to 1 hour or even more depending on your location within the city. Traffic in other provinces is generally much better compared to Bangkok.
​
Social Circle:
In Singapore, you generally already have a group of friends that you met since high school / university / army (for guys).
Unless you have family or friends already living in Thailand, you’ll need to start from scratch. The easiest way to make friends is usually from your workplace. Another popular option is to use apps such as Meetup.com and Tinder for dating. Some may find it hard at first to make friends with Thai people due to the language barrier if you do not speak Thai and they do not speak much English.
​
Language:
In Singapore, English is widely spoken. Mandarin Chinese, Tamil and Malay are also used. It is easy to communicate with 99% of the population.
In Thailand, English is not widely used by everyone especially in the areas where there are no/less tourists. Signs (food, road, etc) can often be only written in Thai.
​
Domestic Travel:
Unless you consider taking the MRT to Sentosa domestic travelling, Singapore does not offer much domestic travel. In Thailand, a 1.5 hour plane ride can take you to Chiang Mai, Phuket, Koh Samui, Khon Kaen, etc. While a 2 hour car drive can take you to Pattaya, Hua Hin, Kanchanaburi, Ayutthaya, etc for quick weekend getaways. Singapore however, is a major hub in Asia and many international flights use Changi Airport as a hub. I also personally prefer Singapore Airlines to Thai Airways.
​
Safety & Crime:
Singapore is generally extremely safe. Chances of you getting robbed by knife are slim to none. In Thailand, it is also generally safe. Be smart and do not put yourself into dangerous situations and you’ll generally be fine. I have never gotten pickpocketed or robbed or scammed or anything of similarity over my years of living here.
​
Government:
This is the topic that I prefer not to talk about. In short:
- The Singapore government is stable.
- I have no comment regarding the Thai government, except let’s see what happens in the next couple of months.
​
TL;DR: A Singaporean’s comparison and experience of living in Bangkok, AMA.
​
And that’s pretty much it. I do apologize for this being so long. I tried my best to share as much as possible without overdoing it. This post got taken down in askSingapore , so hopefully it doesn't break any rules of this subreddit.
If anyone has any further questions, please feel free to AMA.

TWBS Previous Next First
-
---Esme’s perspective---
---Saturday, 11th of November, 2682 Terran Calendar---
---Southern England---
Fucking Sussex!
‘Can you send me to the Forth Valley?’
‘Oh, we can try… On an unrelated note, how’s your standard English? No problems in communicating?’
I should’ve just said ‘No, I have great difficulty in communicating in anything but Lallans Scots!’ instead of putting on my poshest English speech register to say ‘Marjorie dearest, would you be a lamb and pass another buttered scone… hold the raspberry jam, it’s far too spicy for me!’ which she told me she’d take as a ‘Yes.’
“This is an English language barracks. If you have been directed here in error, please make yourself known to barracks staff for reassignment.” plays a loud, prerecorded Welsh language announcement, over speakers.
They’re fucking rubbing it in!
“This is an English language barracks. If you have been directed here in error, please make yourself known to barracks staff for reassignment.” it repeats in Scots Gaelic.
“Ceci est une caserne Anglophone. Si vous avez été assigné ici par erreur, veuillez vous faire connaître auprès du personnel de la caserne pour une réaffectation.” it says in what I’m 90% sure is a French version of the same announcement (I can’t be certain, though, as that’s not one of my languages).
Looking at the crowds queuing to get in makes me regret asserting that I didn’t need transport here.
‘You shouldn’t be sending someone to War that you don’t trust to navigate themself from Galloway to Sussex!’ were my exact words.
I brushed off the recruitment officer saying that I’d be processed faster if I arrived on Military organised transport.
Well, standing here’s not gonna get me to the front of the queue now, is it!
I walk forward to join the massive throng of people, almost all of which look to be about my age.
It’s astonishing how short you feel, being an average height girl in a crowd of people!
178cm really isn’t all that much when you’ve got a not insignificant number of +2m guys here!
Even guys who are the average 188cm can make a girl feel short when their packed too close…
I see a few Neanderthal hunks… perhaps conscription won’t be all bad(!)
When I make it to the front of the line, the guy just stares expectantly at me like I’m supposed to already know what to do.
“Y’awright?… Err… mah nam’s Esme Reid…?” I say, hesitantly, in perfectly comprehensible speech.
“I’m sorry, would you repeat that?” he answers, looking at me like I just spoke to him in fucking Chinese!
“Greetings, gracious sir! You may kindly refer to me by the name ‘Esme Reid’!” I say, affecting my supercilious Southern English gentlewoman accent.
“Alright, Ms Reid. Please present your draft papers and identification.”
The balls they have to ask me to prove who I am when they’re the ones asking me to go off and fucking die for them!
I think about quipping that I should ask him to show me some proof that this is a legitimate Military installation sanctioned by the government of Sol… but think better of it…
Instead, I pull out my draft papers and my holopad, quickly getting up my identification app.
The man scans the code with his own holo and spends a few seconds glancing from his screen to my face and back.
Seeming satisfied that I’m not attempting to enlist under a false identity (for whatever strange reason a person might want to do that) he glances at my papers, says “Everything seems to be in order.” and waves a hand in front of a machine which whirs for half a second before spitting out a simple chain necklace with two little metal rectangles hanging off of it.
He hands it to me and says “This is your identification tag. Please check that the information on it is correct and, if it is, put it on and never take it off.”
I check the tag.
“You’ve got my name and birthday right…” I say, making a conscious effort to keep my speech register in that that a standard English speaker would consider acceptable “…don’t know about the regiment and serial number.”
“Those will be correct.” he says with a ‘move along’ tone.
I shrug, raise the dogtag over my head and drop it around my neck.
I walk on and he’s serving the girl behind me before I’ve even rounded the counter.
I’m ushered through the barracks, herded by the staff, until I reach a building labelled ‘Billet House 279’.
It doesn’t really look like I expected soldiers’ digs to look.
Definitely prefabbed but sort of has more the look of a uni hall than anything else… though I think it’s probably a bit much to expect that I’ll get a room to myself(!)
I follow the throng of draftees through to a wide open room, on the ground floor, that looks like it’s normally a cafeteria.
The camp attendants (who I’m guessing were in the same boat as us, not too long ago) direct us to stand along the left, right and nearside walls, keeping the back wall and centre of the room clear.
Everyone in place, there follows a few minutes of silence broken only by people whispering to one another.
Then, she enters the room.
Dark skinned and clad in green camo clothing, her scalp is easily visible between her cornrows with nary a hair out of place.
Her expression looks absolutely indifferent with just the slightest hint of a curled lip.
From the broadness and flatness of her facial features as well as her single mauve eye, she is clearly half Tshwane… though, you’d never guess that from her stature!
Female Tshwane average nearly 2m… the men are more like 2.2m!
She’s shorter than me!
She’s also built like a Sapiens, not the willowy thinness typical of Tshwane
I guess genetics interact in funny ways sometimes…
Based on her age, her Tshwane parent would probably have to have been one of the very first to be cloned back!
The other eye seems to have been ripped out at some point because in its place is a bionic and there’s a patch of hypopigmented scar tissue, forming a tear shape, at the right corner.
“Recruits… Welcome to the United Terran Coalition Infantry Trainin’ Camp, Graffham… My name is Warrant Officer Simone Sands… and I’ll be your drill instructor…” says the woman, cooly, speaking in a rough sounding, London accent.
The surname ‘Sands’ probably means her dad was the Tshwane (though not necessarily… she might have been given her mum’s surname… or it might be a coincidental English surname).
“…You all know why you’re here… Most of you’ve prob’ly already lost loved ones to this War… You are here to defend our right to exist… and I can’t think of a more worthy reason to fight than that…”
I’ve decided I like this woman… She may be English but I’ll try not to hold that against her(!)
“The first thing I need to tell all of you is that, by the end of your trainin’, you will NOT like me…” she says, as if reading my mind “…that’s OK. My job ain’t to be liked, my job ain’t to make friends… my job is to make soldiers!”
She casts her biological and bionic eyes around the room, letting her words hang in the air.
“Note… that I said ‘soldiers’… This ain’t Full Metal Jacket. This ain’t the 20th Century. There’ll be no Pvt Piles here!… I ain’t aimin’ to destroy your minds or your individuality. I ain’t goin’ to physic’ly and psychologic’ly abuse you into becomin’ robots or killers… I am makin’ you into soldiers… Regardless… this process will not be easy! In fact, it may well be the hardest thing you ever do!… As the face of this process, you will come to hate and resent me for it!… I hope for it! The more you hate me the more-DO YOU HAVE SOMETHIN’ TO SAY, PRIVATE?!”
Everyone in the room is startled by the authoritative woman breaking herself off to shout angrily at someone on the other side of the room.
“STEP FORWARD AND SPEAK SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU!”
The boy that steps forward is tall, bulky and muscular with a handsome, half Neanderthal face… just my type!
Then he has to go and ruin it by opening his mouth.
“I was just saying… that I find it somewhat difficult to take you seriously as a commanding officer… You just seem a little bit… little.” says the boy in the poshest, smarmiest English drawl I’ve ever heard!
The woman does not shout, she does not scream, she doesn’t snarl or even purse her lips!
She just nods, as if considering his words, then asks “What’s your name, Soldier?”
“Rupert Forest.” responds the boy, proudly.
“And, how tall are you, Pvt Forest?” responds the woman, unimpressed
“195cm.” he answers.
“And, what’s your mass?” she asks.
“110kg.”
“I see, I see… So, by your logic… you’d make a better drill sergeant than me, would you? You’re 25cm taller and 35kg heavier, afterall!”
He smirks “I wouldn’t presume to say so, Ma’am…” in a way that definitely suggests that he thinks he would.
She seems to consider that for some moments before answering “Alright then, fight me for it!”
“I’m sorry…?” responds the poshboy.
“You heard me… Clearly, you got no respect for skill and experience but it seems like you must respect power… so fight me for it! You win, you get to train this lot, I win, you never question my authority again!”
Is this woman mad!?
She may be a soldier but this boy she just challenged is a half Neanderthal giant!
She’s gonna lose!
I do not want to be drilled by some snotty, privileged English brat who got here at the same time as I did and just couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut!
Then again, I don’t really want to be drilled by a woman so delusional that she felt the best way to squash insubordination was to challenge a man she has no hope of beating, either!
The guy is clearly salivating over the power that’s just been slapped on the table in front of him as he answers “I accept your terms, Ms Sands…” with faux magnanimity.
There’s no way they’d let a Private run drills, is there? When he wins, someone just needs to go and complain and they’ll give us another (less stupid) drill sergeant… right?
He strips off his jacket to reveal a pair of thick, muscular arms that (in spite of his repulsive personality) are a thrilling sight.
He has to go and ruin it by flexing and posing, clearly revelling in the room’s worth of gasps he got when he revealed his arms… He obviously likes being the centre of attention.
“Done?” asks Sands, drily.
“If you still want to do this…” he says, smugly “…you could just concede defeat and I’m sure no one would hold it against you!”
Her lip curls as she answers “But… if I did that, no one would learn nothin’, now would they…”
He shrugs before launching himself at her without waiting for her to give the word to begin.
She whirls out of the way and he snatches at her, unsuccessfully, as his momentum carries him past.
“Lesson 1:…” she shouts while snapping into the space behind him and kicking out his knee “…size does not determine victory, strength does not determine victory…” levelling another powerful kick between his shoulderblades to bring him to the ground.
She backs off, allowing him to scramble to his feet and turn to face her, hunched in readiness and scowling.
“…Pvt Forest here looked at me with contempt on account of my small size and, though he didn’t say so, I’d guess that my rough accent, my lack of a graduate epithet and my lack of a penis also played a roll in his judgin’ me as less than!… He thought he could beat me, he probably still DOES, and, ’causa that, he didn’t respect my ability to lead…!”
Forest makes another lunge for the smaller woman, misses and is punished for it by being knocked back to the floor.
I’m agog as I watch this little woman… there’s no other word but toy with the giant man!
“…but victory does not care how big you are, how strong you are, how classy or educated you are or what**’**s in your pants or panties…!”
She dodges around his arm and pins his chest to the floor with her knee.
“Discipline and trainin’ determine victory!… Things that I have and Pvt Forest LACKS!… Things that ALL of you will acquire, over the next 8 months!!!” she turns her head down to the mountain of man she’s pinning to the floor “Concede, Private!”
The man shakes his head, trying in vain to leverage himself up.
“Alright then… Lesson 2: When faced with a resistant individual, compliance can be effectively enforced by the expedient of lockin’ their joints to induce PAIN!!!”
She grabs his thick arms by the wrists and pulls them backwards in a way they are not meant to bend!
He screams in agony!
“CONCEDE!!!… Don’t make me send you to the Medical Officer! It’d be inconvenient for BOTH of us if your pride makes you miss your first week of trainin’ while your arms heal!!!”
He holds out for two more seconds before screaming “I concede! I CONCEDE!!!”
She releases him and stands back up.
“On your feet, Soldier…” she growls down at him.
He stands back up, his face beet red.
“Are you ever goin’ to question my fitness to instruct again, Private?” she glares up at the humiliated giant.
“No.” he answers, gracelessly.
“No…?” she says as if waiting for something else.
Forest looks as confused as I am about what she’s expecting.
“No, Ma’am!” she snarls.
“No, Ma’am.”
“Good, we’ll work on your attitude, movin’ forward. Now, get back in line!”
The humiliated man picks up his civvy jacket and returns to the place he was called out from.
“Now, I don’t think I need to prattle on anymore about how you’re gonna hate me by the end of our time together, do I?… I think Pvt Forest helped me prove that point quite well, so I’ll move on… You will sleep in this buildin’, six to a room. Your rooms will be gender segregated. If you wish for a place to be… intimate with people of the opposite gender, you may request use of one of the conjugal rooms… I suggest you do the same if you want to be intimate with a same gender partner but that’s between you and your roommates! You will eat in this room at 0700hrs, 1200hrs and 1800hrs. Diet’ry requirements will be accommodated but, bare in mind, this ain’t your mummies’ and daddies’ kitchen! ‘This food is forbidden by my religion/personal ethics’ is a diet’ry requirement. ‘I am allergic to this food’ is a diet’ry requirement! ‘I don’t like how this food tastes’ is not(!)… In the mornin’s, you will be receivin’ lessons in lecture theatres, workshops and the like…”
“Oh great… just what I wanted after leaving school(!) More classrooms(!)” I mutter to myself.
Her head instantly wheels to me with unnerving precision.
“Someone else with somethin’ they’d like to say!?” she says, locking eyes with me, terrifyingly.
“No, Ms Sands!” I answer, instantly.
“Miss?! I’m not your bloody schoolteacher girl!!!”
Everyone laughs. Even Pvt Forest, like he wasn’t just humiliated himself, 2 minutes ago!
“Ma’am… err… Ma’am, no, Ma’am!!!” I say, doing my best to emulate the tone I’ve seen soldiers use in films.
She rolls her eye (it’s difficult to tell if the bionic rolls too) and says “Better… What’s your name, Private?”
“Ma’am, the Private’s name is Esme Reid, Ma’am!!!”
“Do you remember me tellin’ you this ain’t Full Metal Jacket?… You don’t need to scream when you talk to me, you don’t need to refer to yourself in third person and one ‘Ma’am’, when you’re done speakin’, is enough, Reid!”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
She points to her single, mauve eye, then to me and says “I’ll have my eye on you, Reid!”
Somehow, her tone sends a chill up my spine but I do my best not to show it.
She turns away and I release a silent sigh of relief.
“As I was sayin’… In your lectures you will learn the ins and outs of military theory; tactics, strategies, logistics etc. You will learn as much as we can tell you about the nature of the species we are fightin’; their capabilities, tendencies, political organisations and known weaknesses… bear in mind that First Contact weren’t much more than 4 years ago and we’ve been at War for almost all the intervenin’ time, so a lot of what we teach you will be little more than guesswork and hearsay from prisoners we’ve interrogated… The mornin’s’ll also be where you learn the particulars of the equipment you’ll be expected to be proficient with in the field. This includes firearms, plasmaweaponry and durasteel armour, as well as the tech you’ll likely encounter from the opposite side; kinetic pulse weapons, laser weapons, field emitters etc… I strongly suggest that no one allows word to get back to me that they’re not takin’ these classes seriously!… A stupid soldier is a dead soldier!”
She glares around the room, her eyes resting on me four a quarter of a second.
“…In the afternoons and evenin’s, you’ll be doing PT… that’s ‘Physical Trainin’’… soon to be every one of your two least favourite words in the English Language(!) “
I notice a wry smirk twist the mouths of a few of the camp attendants.
“In PT you will be drilled in agility, endurance, close quarters combat and coordinated marching… Five times over the comin’ 8 months, you and your trainin’ partner will be dropped into a remote bit of wilderness, somewhere on Earth, for five day practical survival experience. You will be given a beacon, to summon retrieval, but these are only to be used in cases of actual threat to life or bodily integrity… not because you’re feelin’ miserable!”
She takes a second to pause for breath.
“You get an allowance of 12 days off, over your time here… that’s two a month… These are subject to my approval and I may deny them for any reason, including no reason… so don’t piss me off!… You may not take more than 2 consecutive days leave at a time! Certain classes are mandatory and leave will not be approved on days they occur. If your allowance is spent, no more leave will be approved, barring a real emergency!… Now, for today, you are going to line up to have your maps and room keys downloaded onto your holos when your name is called, then you are going to have your bodies scanned for your armour measurements… at that point everyone with no uterus has the rest of the day free to settle in… If you have a uterus, you’ll need to report to medical to get your cycle paused! This is, I’m afraid, nonoptional… You are not prohibited from engaging in relations with your fellow recruits but you cannot be a soldier while you’re able to get pregnant. Attempts to circumvent this requirement in any way will land you in the Stockade!… After your cycle pause has been given, you’ll also have the rest of the day to settle in… Enjoy it! It’ll be the most downtime you get for a while!… Finally… I believe we have a 17 year old with us here… Pvt Taylor?”
A few people put their hands up, most looking confused.
“Pvt Oskar Taylor! The 17 year old?” she says, exasperated.
All but one of those with their hands up put them down.
The one remaining Pvt Taylor with his hand in the air has pale skin, black hair, brown eyes and a sharp featured face wearing a dour expression.
He stands even taller than Forest… Nearly 2m tall!
Though he’s not quite as heavily built, he’s certainly a good looking piece of boycandy!
“Pvt Taylor…” says Sands, her mouth breaking into a smile for the first time I’ve seen “…couldn’t wait to go off to War, could you(?)”
He mutters something but, while I can hear the power and deepness of his voice, I can’t make out a word he says.
“You’ll have to speak up, Taylor! Nobody’ll be able to hear you if you mumble.” points out Sands.
“I said I had some personal circumstances that made this the most sensible course of action for me, Ma’am.” says the tall, dark haired man, looking over her head rather than down at her and speaking in a grim monotone. He definitely loses boycandy points for the poshness of his accent, unfortunately…
“I see… I won’t pry into that but… you didn’t think of Officer Training? That’s the route that most people take when volunteering ahead of their conscription.”
He shakes his head “I thought of it and decided against it, Ma’am.”
“Oh? Why’s that, Pvt Taylor?”
“I didn’t believe I would make a good officer, Ma’am.” he answers simply.
She laughs “I wish every soldier could be as introspective, Taylor! I like you!… Unfortunately, bein’ a minor does mean that you can’t be put in a room with others… Sooo, that means you get a room to yourself… for the moment. Might sound cushy but before anyone else gets too jealous, bare in mind that privacy is the only advantage! His room will be a sixth the size of yours so its basic’ly a broomcupboard… the disadvantage will be severely reduced opportunity to socialise!… If that doesn’t sound doable, you can leave and come back when you turn 18, Taylor.”
“It’s acceptable, Ma’am.” he says without hesitating.
Yeah… it’s official… I don’t like him…
---later---
I rub the spot on my arm where the serum was thunked into me about 15 minutes ago.
Like with everything else about conscription, I get it… I understand the point…
But seeing the sense doesn’t mean I have to like it!
It’s not like I want to get pregnant (getting a nine month reprieve from service would be a fairly shitty reason for me to bring a child into the world) but it does feel like one last slap in the face to my personal autonomy that I’ve just had a cycle pause fucking mandated upon my body by the government!
As I draw near, door 1512 detects the key downloaded on my holo and unlocks
I open it and am greeted by a blonde girl, smiling broadly and instantly identifiable as brimming with ADHD energy.
“Hey there! My name’s Charlotte, it’s lovely to meet you!” says the girl, wrapping me in a hug without asking if I’m OK with that.
Her accent makes me wonder if everyone I meet here is going to be a posh toff!
She makes three of three of my fellow draftees!
“A pleasure, Charlotte… the name’s Esme…” I say, speaking Scottish accented standard English and gingerly patting her back.
“Oh, you’re Scottish…?” she says pulling herself off me with an expression that suggests meeting a Scottish person is just the most wonderful thing she could have imagined “…My great grandmother was from Edinburgh, where are you from?”
“Stranraer.” I answer.
She frowns “I don’t know it, I’m sorry!”
“I won’t hold it against you… Southwestern tip of Scotland? Where it nearly touches Ireland and the Man Peninsula?… ’Bout two and a half million people?”
“Oh, wooow! I don’t think I’ve ever met someone from a village before!” she says, seeming entirely oblivious to how that might be taken as an insult.
“Yeah… I guess it’s not that big.”
“Well…” she wraps me back in the hug and continues “…we’re the first ones to the room and that has to mean we’re going to be best friends!”
“I’m afraid my best friend’s name is Tamsin… the position is not open.” I say, firmly setting a boundary.
“I meant best bootcamp friends, silly!” she says, as if that should have gone without saying.
“Alright… I guess that positions open… but you’ve not got the job yet(!)” I quip, warming up a little to the ball of posh English energy.
She pulls back and beams at me “Alright then, for my first act as best bootcamp friend candidate, let me show you the view!… That should earn me some points!”
She says, leading me into the room that’s so small it makes me doubt that that goody-two-shoes 17 year old can possibly have one a sixth this size!
She leads me to the window and spends a few moments making sure I’m positioned just right before she draws back the curtain.
The view is quite breathtaking… rolling hills of snow blanketed mammoth steppe, lit by evening sun, with barely any of the sprawling military camp visible.
Though, you can see one of the tallest structures ever built by Humanity… the Sussex Space elevator… several times the Earth’s own diameter, the ‘top’, if you can even call it that, is a fifth of the way from here to Luna! …And… in 8 months, I’m going to be riding it, all the way up, to get on a troop transport.
“Look! See! There’s a herd of aurochs over on that hill! You know this place used to be a national park, before even Unification or the Reset! It’s called the South Downs! My mum told me we had family from here… obviously I never met any of them because they would have left hundreds of years ago!…”
The bubbly girl talks and talks and… just keeps talking… but I don’t particularly mind.
---
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TWBS Previous Next First

As a way to fight boredom and midlife crisis, I have studied Japanese for three years. I chose Japanese because it is very different from English. I also find Japan interesting and fascinating. Recently I have experienced a dip in motivation though. Anyhow, I have also thought, that possibly I should study Chinese instead, since I have a Chinese friend. Some advantages of each option
Japanese advantages:

• I already have three years worth of knowledge.
• I am more interested in Japan, Japanese culture and Japanese media than in the Chinese counterparts. It is more likely that I will visit Japan (again) compared to visiting China (again).
• Japan is a democracy. I do not like the Chinense dictatorship government. So studying Chinese fills me with some... uneasiness. Reading books in Chinese that I know have been censored or self-censored also fills me with uneasiness.

Chinese advantages:

• I can talk to my friend and her family in Chinese! That would be awesome and extremely fun and motivating!
• Where I live, Chinese people are not that rare (neighbors, friends, restaurant staff, colleagues). I have never seen anyone I know is Japanese (and I expect Japanese expats are rarer than Chinese ones). So the chances for casual interaction is higher with Chinese.
• I mainly care about reading books, and written Chinese (while still a challenge, but that is the purpose of this hobby), is easier than written Japanese.

I know that in the end there is no right or wrong, and is all up to me, but I am simply looking for some advice, input and thoughts on this from internet strangers :)

Hello fellow Wisconsin golfers. Is anyone in the Milwaukee area aware of a golf sim that uses Trackman? I used to live in Madison and they had a great barestaurant/golf sim and used all Trackman sims. I am trying to find access to a Trackman in the Milwaukee area. Any help would be appreciated!

The Order of Prince Yaroslav the Wise, fifth class, is the highest rank a Ukrainian foreign national can achieve. Its newest inductee is back home in Florida and has been in the shower so long he’s lost track of time. His feel for the present moment will return in about thirty seconds when the hot water runs out. His hair has been both shampooed and conditioned. His body throughly soaped. It’s the shower’s warm solitude he cannot leave. There is plenty to do today; an interview at a radio station at eleven, lunch with his sponsor, an early dinner at his mom’s pastor’s. All of them want to know more about his experience overseas, they want to know how the war is progressing, they want to hear how he went from Highland Hills High School to war hero. What they don’t want to hear, what David does not want to hear, is how cold his new found notoriety makes him feel. Before can explore his melancholy any further, the hot water goes. The steam rising above the shower clears as a lukewarm solution rinses the remaining soap and warmth off David’s body. He remembers taking similarly cold showers in Ukraine, and how happy he was to have them. It’s shocking how clean a man can get with a half full bucket of water and a couple of towels.
“Ah look at Abie! Clean enough for a Russian bitch.” says Bone in his thick provincial accent. Words David can’t remember Bone actually saying or they only sound like something he would say. Sitting around waiting for mechanics, waiting on orders, waiting on food, waiting on the Russians to start shooting, David didn’t know war could be so boring. The only thing Bone said he liked more than killing Russians was fucking them. The rest of the guys in the platoon knew Bone was probably lying, but he was their instructor, and they were the international volunteers, so he was never questioned. He was the only person in their platoon who spoke Russian and Ukrainian and English. One guy, this kid from Belgium, called Bone a cunt after failing to pull the pen on a grenade during a training exercise, and Bone gave it to him.
“What is this? You do not have to pull pens in Belgium? Or do you like to give your enemies the grenade so they can throw it back?” said Bone. He then effeminately ran around the kid saying, “Here Mr. German. Take my grenade. They are loud and I am afraid.” Bone comes back to his real voice. “Killing Russians is no different than driving a truck. It is your job. Don’t think. Don’t be like this Belgian. Pull the pin. Kill Russians.” The Belgian kid said something to Bone but no one knew what it was because no one spoke French. This didn’t stop Bone from hitting him in the face so hard it broke his nose. The kid quit later that day, and Bone got written up which David told him is like a kid being put in timeout during a house invasion.
“What is this time out?” Bone asked.
The water is cold so David gets out. In the kitchen his mother goes over the day’s itinerary again, just to be thorough she adds.
“Do you know where you are going David? No, sorry. Do you know where you are going Abie?” she asks as David grabs a breakfast banana.
“Yes ma’am.”
“You know parking can be difficult downtown. Be sure to take quarters for the meter.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“And be sure to be yourself. I hope they are nice to you. You know how the media likes to spin things these days. I don’t think they are too liberal but don’t let them put words in your mouth. If they ask you something you don’t want to answer, you just say ‘No comment'. You just tell your story. You are a hero. And then you’ll meet with Fred, and then dinner at Pastor's. Be there at four. If it’s ok with you I’m going to bring the medal. Pastor will want to see it. He’s a big fan of Zelensky.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Ok. Enough doting. That’s all you’re getting out to me today. Are you excited? Isn’t this exciting? News Radio 950 is doing a story about you. They want to hear about their local war hero…and that’s you. Give me a hug and get going before you are late.”
“Yes ma’am.”
In his car, David listens to Domination by Pantera at full volume. The heavy riffs, screaming and terrifying drums raise his spirit. Bone used to play it all the time. David hasn’t prepared anything for save his memory of his time in Ukraine. Perhaps Bone is giving an interview somewhere? You didn’t do anything wrong, he tells himself as he opens the station’s door. Inside he finds an attractive, young woman named Sara who has been emailing him for the past several weeks.
“Nice to officially meet. Right this way.”
David does his best not to stare at her as she leads him through corridor of offices and hallways.
“She looks nice. Go into an office with her.” says Bone.
“We’ve all been looking forward to having a more in-depth conversation with you. Our programming producer, who is also named David, will be asking you most of the questions. But I begged him to let me ask some too, so you might say I will also be interviewing you. I hope that’s ok?”
Sara’s blonde hair folds into a neat part on the left side of her head. David pictures her styling it in her bathroom, in a bathrobe. It’s been a while since he has smelled perfume. He found a bottle in an abandoned apartment in Zaporizhzhia and kept it. It had some Chinese lettering he couldn’t read, but it smelt nice. Some of the guys teased him when they found it saying he was going to attract Russian because he smelt like an Asian. Sara’s perfume smells expensive and French. She introduces him to David the producer and the three of them find three seats on the end of a conference room table. Sara sits on the same side as David. After introductions, David starts the interview by saying even though he is not sure exactly when the piece will air, he is certain it will before the end of the month. He then adds something about how David is a hero for doing what he did.
“So tell us how you found yourself in Ukraine?”
“Well it was pretty easy really. I went online and volunteered for the IVB, that was the name of my unit, the International Volunteer Brigade. I don’t think I talked to a real person until I booked my flight to Poland. It was mostly just forms I was filling out online. So yeah it was pretty easy. So I landed in Krakow and my recruiter picked me up. I stayed in a hotel for a few days while we waited on a couple more guys to show up. One was from Spain, another from Portugal. The Portuguese guy never showed, or if he did he didn’t come with us. I guess he could have volunteered with another outfit. I guess that’s the thing about the war I didn’t really expect. We were always just kinda losing people. And I don’t mean they were killed, although a lot of them were. I mean guys would just be with you one minute and gone the next. And then you’d find them a week later and I go, ‘Where have you been?’ ‘Oh I’ve been in Dnipro’ or ‘Oh I got picked up by the Regs.’ It was crazy. The only place where that didn’t happen was the front.”
“Who do you mean by ‘the Regs?’” asks David.
“The regular army. The Ukrainians. The good guys we were there to help. Sometimes they would be short a man so they’d just nab one of the volunteers. That was a bad gig. The Ukrainians wanted their most motivated guys fighting in the worst places. I only had to do it a couple of times, but…it was not something I did and wanted to do again. ”
David rubs his hand over his arm. He can’t smell the hot blonde anymore, only trench dirt and gun oil. The soil of Donetsk had a deep brown color to it he always enjoyed. Even with snipers supposedly in the area, digging was one of his favorite jobs. The earth smelled vibrant, full of worms and nitrogen and reminded him of his granddad, coming in from a day of field work, his jeans and boots caked in a rich layer of his land.
“So tell us what is it like being a hometown celebrity?” asks Sara. “You’re from here so people already know you, but what’s it like now? I mean now, gosh, everyone i know has been talking about this kid from Highland who won a medal from Zelensky. Did you get to bring it by the way? You were on the national news. It was NBC, but still…”
A bouquet of scents and questions. David looks across the room and sees Bone sitting with a heavy slouch in a chair at the other end of the conference table. He looks rough; still alive but not by much. He sits holding his side, his chin on his chest.
“It’s neat I guess. I walk down the street and people call my name. I take lots of pictures with people. Everyone is really nice. I felt like I was kinda a wallflower before.It’s something I think lots of people think about experiencing. I know I did, I just never thought it would be for this.”
“What did you want to be when you were a boy?” asks Sara.
“I don’t know. The normal stuff; doctor, fireman, my Dad was in sales, so not that. I think about it a lot. I think mostly I just wanted to be good. I didn’t like getting into trouble.”
“Oh my gosh, I was the exact same.” says Sara. Then durning her boss she adds “David, I don’t know if you knew this about me and this David, but we actually went to Highland High at the same time. I was a senior when you would have been a freshman, but I swear I remember you. I thought you were cute.”
“Don’t be trying to steal my assistant Dave. Can I call you Dave?”
“David’s fine.”
Bone perks up and tells them to call him Abie
“Ok so let’s get back on track. You’re over there, you’re fighting Russians, you’re helping the Ukrainians, can you tell us, what was that like?”
“What is war like?”
“Yeah the war, but you’re doing a good thing. You volunteered to help an oppressed people, to fight against tyranny, something I think our listeners think our government should have done a long time ago. But while our President sits on his ass, you bravely go do the thing that needs be done. God it must have been exhilarating, but I don’t know, I don’t want to put words in your mouth.”
Bone lays his head back on the desk and says something David can’t quite make out but thinks he knows what his commander is saying.
“Meta.”
“What?” asks David.
“It’s a Ukrainian word I learned while over there. It means purpose, but more than just doing a job, it’s your calling. It’s a word the priests with the beards use a lot. Everyday I knew exactly what was expected of me and what I could expect from everyone around me. I had clarity for the first time in my life. I felt like I could see for miles in every direction, like sitting on the roof watching all the cars going by.”
Bone stands up out of his chair and walks out of the office.
“Even when I was scared I knew that was to be expected. And when I was tired, I knew that too was to be expected. And when I was hungry, and wet, and cold, and angry enough to kill. I knew that too was to be expected because war is a cauldron. Everything gets boiled into a singularity. It’s terrifying but also pretty damn motivating. What sucks is that I can already feel everything starting to get cloudy again.”
Leaning his belly against the table, David leans in to ask his next question as if he does not want to be heard.
“Did you, you know…and this will be off the record…did you kill anyone else?”
Sara places her empty hand on the table, an offering for David to hold should his answer prove too much. But David knows the answer is not too much for his has thought of little else.
“Nope. Just the one.”
After another few minutes of hearing how brave he has been, how proud his family must be and how grateful the station is to have him come in, the interview is over. The producer shakes David’s hand and Sara walks him out. She mentions that friends of her’s are going to a new bar in the Depot and suggests David should come too. He says he can come but it will be late because he has dinner plans. “That’s ok. I’ll be there pretty late.”
—————————
Only a few blocks from the radio station, David pulls into a Waffle House parking lot. There is condensation on the windows of the building and cigarette butts near the door. Nothing here breathes well, David notes. Inside he finds his old sponsor sitting at booth by himself. David sees Fred before Fred sees him and for a moment considers leaving. However, he sees Bone sits in the corner of the restaurant, smiling and looking to flirt with a chubby waitress with grown sons.
“How the hell are you Abie?” says Fred. No turning back now.
“Sober for today.”
“Me too.”
The pair order eggs, toast and bacon. The cook makes each of them a waffle on the house after recognizing David. He finishes his plate before Fred can finish a piece of toast. Meals happen quick on the battlefield and David can’t seem to slow himself down long to enjoy his food. Bone is no longer in the corner. David sees him moving around the room; following an old lady into the restroom. He comes out with a grotesque look on his face. “That little woman took the biggest shit I’ve ever seen! Abie, come and look at it. It won’t flush. Call in a drone strike. We are going to have to pull back!”
“So” says Fred, “Mr. War Hero, how are you really? You’ve got recognition, a war recommendation, you’re doing interviews, you still got your sobriety. Life seems to be going well, but…”
“How I am really?” When he was in NA Fred could always sniff out if he was high. As his sponsor that was his job, but David never liked it. I know you say you’re fine, but how are your really. Effective, but crude. Fred taps his finger to the tip of his nose. Bingo kid. David looks around the room for Bone but doesn’t find him.
“I’m good man. Things are going well. Everyone always asks me how I’m doing, but I’m really fine. I honestly don’t feel much different than when I left. Same shit different day you know? Girls come up to me now, so that’s different I guess. So…yeah…things are good. Still sober. No real temptation to go back down that road. Been working the Steps since I got back. Doing the work. I didn’t even think about getting high when I was over there. I’m serious. Not once. I’ve got a therapist that I’m seeing. She’s really smart. And I get to see her for free. It’s part of some rehabilitation program from the federal government. I’m moving out of my Mom’s soon. I found an apartment through the church she goes to. There is a guy there who owns a bunch of places and he hooked me up with a really nice place for really cheap. He gave us a really good deal on it. The same guy said I could come work for him too when I felt I was ready. He has a real estate business and said he is always looking for new realtors. With my story, he told me, he thinks I could to really well.”
Bone sits in the booth next to Fred. His face his clean, empty. Without blinking, moving or saying anything he stares at David; human mirror he is unsure is alive or dead, in a Waffle House in Florida or an expensive dirty tank in Ukraine.
“But then I think, do I really wanna use my story to sell real estate? Some douchebag buys an apartment I’m selling him because I killed a Russian general. That’s not why I went over there. And who would even ask me to that? They don’t know what it was like. They make it seem like going over there was no big deal, that killing generals is something that happens all the time, or that the war is going well. Really man, I got so lucky with that shot. I’ve had trained snipers tell me they probably couldn’t hit a target at that range. But I did. I did that and I know I could never do it again. Even if I could, I don’t know if I’d want to. I didn’t know that guy. I mean I now know a bunch of stuff about him, but it’s only what I’ve been told. They told me that he supported Putin from the beginning and that a lot of the war planning was his idea. Ok. If you say so Bone. But I looked this guy up, he has a wikipedia page, and a wife, and kids, probably grandkids. I don’t know if his family is proud of him or not, but I know they will never see him again. And then just the charade of it all. So I got to meet the Ukrainian War Minister, Zelensky’s right hand man. Still not worth it. There’s just nothing noble or romantic about it. It’s all just a cold, black hole that runs on death and killing and for some reason you have to look at it…at least I do. I suppose I thought at some point I would see something. Never did though.”
Bone breaks his stare and cracks a smile.
“And for who, for what Fred? What is going to happen when all of this is over other than the same thing that happens after every war. A cabal of erudite assholes are going to meet in an overly secure room in the Netherlands and draw a new line in between Ukraine and Russia which is exactly what those same assholes did seventy years ago, and seventy years before that, and in seventy years we’ll do the same thing all over again. Wash, rinse and repeat. That line makes about as much sense as the first day of Spring. Sure, there is an official first day of Spring, March 20th or whatever, but we all know that there was some really warm days before the 20th and there is going to be some real cold days afterwards. But the 20th is the official day. It doesn’t make Spring happen. It just kinda helps sense out of a blurry situation. It wasn’t two days after getting there I realized the whole thing is so complicated. Half the regs were guys who had either lived in Russia at some point, gone to school there mostly, or had family living there. It felt like trying to break up a fight at a family reunion, only everyone is holding ARs as they argue about whether or not the 20th is the first day of Spring. The conflict goes back so far you can’t make out the start. And the profiteering my god, that’s what really gets me. Just like that asshole who wants to use the war to sell real estate, all the arms manufacturers who are pouring guns and bullets and tanks into Ukraine, propping this war machine so they can win another government contract. It’s sick. The people running those companies have the first available seat in hell. And Putin too. He started this whole mess. First him, then a nice row of CEOs and shareholders, that’s who I want to in hell. And there is never talk of any alternative. None. Not even a whisper. Just two sides trying to exhaust the other for a better seat at the bargaining table.”
Bone gets up to leave, but not before stretching his back, revealing a large, dark red stain in his uniform, just above his waist line.
“So here I am in all my hometown glory.” says David, “The renown Prince of the Order of the Ukrainian Shit-Show.”
There is a wet spot on David’s pants which he is not sure how it got there. He looks at Bone who is already out the door and running down the street. It’s ok, David thinks to himself, I know where he is going. ———————————————— At the 7-11 next to Waffle House David buys two tall boys and two shots of Jack. He pours the whiskey into the cans and kills the second one as he pulls into Pastor’s driveway where several Mercedes, Teslas and BMWs are parked. David clears his throat, spits into the bushes and unwraps a stick of gum. He enters the house after two hard knocks.
“Oh I think that is him.” David hears his mom say after shutting the large, dark front door. She comes around the corner of the corridor to tell him he is late and to take his shoes off.
“But my socks don’t match.”
“Well take those off too! Pastor just put down new carpet.”
“Ah well, since there is new carpet involved. Let’s not walk on the new carpet.”
The rest of the dinner party comes around the corridor in their socks. Each of them personally thanks David for coming and for his service. The men shake his hand. The women all give him hugs. By the end of introductions David has met two bankers, two retirees, and handful of housewives, as well as two more pastors and their wives. Bone is the last to shake his hand. He tells Abie he smells like old lady perfume. Elenor, Pastor’s wife, takes David’s arm, sliding her’s underneath his, leading him into their recently renovated kitchen. The rest of the group follows.
“Well dinner is almost ready. As we wait, why don’t you tell us about Ukraine.”
“Leave him alone Ellie,” says Pastor, “maybe he’s tired of talking about it.”
“I don’t mind.” says Abie. “I don’t mind telling people about blowing some Russian guy’s head off.”
“David Absalom!”
“It’s ok Mom. Yeah so I saw this column of tanks approaching our trench, which ran parallel to this road running west outta Horlivka. I don’t think they knew it was there, or if they did know, they sure as shit didn’t know we were in it, which was weird because we’d been trading fire with them all day. We were all scared shitless. It was only me and Jizzy and Bone. Right Bone? Oh yeah, it wasn’t Jizz it was that kid from Croatia. The one who fucking just ran off one day. I don’t remember his name. Anyways, Bone tells us to all be real still, play like we are dead. So this entire tank column passes by us. Takes for fucking ever. Couldn’t have been more than an hour, but it felt like ten. Finally it starts to let up you know, the last tank passes. So Bone takes the radio and tries to find a spot to call it in. As he is doing that I see the last tank, which was what Bone, about four hundred yards from us? Anyway, he comes to a stop, and out pops the unluckiest son of bitch in the whole war. The General gets out to take a piss, I take aim, figuring I’ll just scare him. And yeah. Bam. Headshot. He didn’t feel a thing; killed him with his dick in his hand. Speaking of which…if you will excuse me.”
“The bathroom is back down the hallway, first door on your left.” says Pastor.
“Is it a full bath?” ask Abie.
“Three-quarter.”
“Close enough.”
No one looks him in the eye, no one except Bone and Pastor. The bathroom has been redone in the same tile as the kitchen. David takes off his clothes, turns the steel knob in the shower to red, sits one floor and waits for the water to get warm.

2.26.0.36 -> 2.26.0.40 Part 1

• VBCI 2 (MCT-30) : Max field repair time lowered
• Game parameter changes :
  • New Burn mark parameters :
    • Ship radius = 7
    • Ship position push multiplier = 5
    • Ship direction push multiplier = 1.15
  • Ground TWS is now called TWS GTM
  • Damage Model parameter changes :
    • Visual Shrapnel Inner Radius : 0.15 -> 0.05
    • Radiators :
      • Repair speed lowered by 65%
      • It can now be repaired to 100%
  • Physical material parameter changes :
    • All, except Bricks, Concrete, Metal, Wood and Football ramp : "iak" : 0.2 -> 0.5
    • Football ramp : "iak" : 0.2 -> 1
    • Track friction on concrete : 0.9 -> 0.95
    • Wheel friction on concrete : 0.8 -> 0.95
• Sound changes :
  • Tank engines : Max sounds in the 20-400 m radius : 8 -> 16
  • Tracks : Max radius : 200 -> 300 m
  • New engine sound : BTR-80
  • Some long-rod APFSDS now use the APCR loading crew voice

Aircraft changes :

• A6M3 :
  • Added custom loadouts
  • New loadout : 1x Drop tank (stock)
  • Loadout changed : 2x 60kg : Removed Required modification 9 in (mod30)
• Buccaneer S. Mk. 1, Kfir Canard : Updated cockpit
• D4Y3 : Loadout changed : 3x 250 kg : Bombs are now dropped separately
• F-4C, F-4E, F-4EJ (all), F-4F (all), F-4S : Drop tank :
  • Fuel mass : 2271 -> 1850 kg
  • Now visible in menu
• F-4E (ISR) : Drop tank :
  • Fuel mass : 2271 -> 1850 kg
  • Model : US -> ISR
  • Now visible in menu
• F-4E Kurnass 2000 :
  • Updated cockpit
  • Engines : Engine armor -> Jet engine armor
  • New loadout : 6x Python 3
  • Loadout changed : x Empty (stock) -> 1x Drop tank (stock)
  • Removed loadouts:
    • 4x AIM-7E-2
    • 4x AIM-7F
  • Custom loadout changes :
    • Slot 3, 9 changed : Added 2x Python 3 option, can't be equipped together with 3x AGM-65D on slot 2
    • Slot 4, 8 changed :
      • Removed 1x AIM-7E-2 option
      • Removed 1x AIM-7F option
    • Slot 5 changed :
      • Option changed : 1x AIM-9G (stock), can't be equipped together with 1x AIM-7E-2 on slot 4 or 1x AIM-7F on slot 4 or 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6 -> 1x AIM-9G (stock), can't be equipped together with 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6
      • Option changed : 1x AIM-9L, can't be equipped together with 1x AIM-7E-2 on slot 4 or 1x AIM-7F on slot 4 or 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6 -> 1x AIM-9L, can't be equipped together with 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6
      • Added 1x Python 3 option, can't be equipped together with 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6
      • Removed 1x AIM-7E-2 option
      • Removed 1x AIM-7F option
    • Slot 6 changed : Added 1x Drop tank (stock) option
    • Slot 7 changed :
      • Option changed : 1x AIM-9G (stock), can't be equipped together with 1x AIM-7E-2 on slot 8 or 1x AIM-7F on slot 8 or 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6 -> 1x AIM-9G (stock), can't be equipped together with 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6
      • Option changed : 1x AIM-9L, can't be equipped together with 1x AIM-7E-2 on slot 8 or 1x AIM-7F on slot 8 or 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6 -> 1x AIM-9L, can't be equipped together with 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6
      • Added 1x Python 3 option, can't be equipped together with 2x BLU-27/B on slot 6
      • Removed 1x AIM-7E-2 option
      • Removed 1x AIM-7F option
• F-4J :
  • Added ejection seat
  • New loadout : 1x Drop tank (stock)
  • Custom loadout changes :
    • Max load : 7257 -> 7400 kg
    • Slot 6 changed : Added 1x Drop tank (stock) option
• F-4J (UK), Phantom F.G. Mk. 1, Phantom F.G.R. Mk. 2 :
  • Added ejection seat
  • New loadout : 1x Drop tank (stock)
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 6 changed : Added 1x Drop tank (stock) option
• F-14B :
  • Targeting pod camera moved
  • New loadout : 2x GBU-24/B + 1x LANTIRN
  • Loadouts changed :
    • 4x AIM-9L + 320x Flares / Chaff -> 4x AIM-9L + 640x Flares / Chaff
    • 1x GBU-10/B : Required modification changed : GBU-10 -> GBU-10/24
  • Custom loadout changes :
    • Slot 2, 5 changed :
      • Added 160x Flares / Chaff option
      • Added 160x Flares / Chaff + 1x AIM-9L (stock) option
    • Slot 3 changed :
      • Option changed : 1x AIM-7M, can't be equipped together with 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 -> 1x AIM-7M, can't be equipped together with 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 5
      • Option changed : 2x AIM-7M, can't be equipped together with 1x AIM-54A on slot 5 or 1x AIM-54C on slot 5 or 1x 500lb on slot 5 or 1x 1000 lb on slot 5 or 1x 2000lb on slot 5 or 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 or 1x Mk. 82 AIR on slot 5 or 1x Mk 83 AIR on slot 5 -> 2x AIM-7M, can't be equipped together with 1x AIM-54A on slot 5 or 1x AIM-54C on slot 5 or 1x 500lb on slot 5 or 1x 1000 lb on slot 5 or 1x 2000lb on slot 5 or 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 or 1x Mk. 82 AIR on slot 5 or 1x Mk 83 AIR on slot 5 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 5
      • Option changed : 2x AIM-54A, can't be equipped together with 1x 2000lb on slot 5 or 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 -> 2x AIM-54A, can't be equipped together with 1x 2000lb on slot 5 or 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 5
      • Option changed : 2x AIM-54C, can't be equipped together with 1x 2000lb on slot 5 or 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 -> 2x AIM-54C, can't be equipped together with 1x 2000lb on slot 5 or 1x GBU-10/B on slot 5 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 5
      • Added 1x GBU-24/B option, must be equipped together with 1x LANTIRN on slot 7
    • Slot 4 changed : Added 1x GBU-24/B option, must be equipped together with 1x LANTIRN on slot 7
• F-16A-10 (ISR) :
  • New loadout : 6x Python 3
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9 changed : Added 1x Python 3 option
• G.91 3 :
  • New loadout : 2x Canon de 30mm DEFA 552 + 2x Mk. 82 Snakeye
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 2, 5 changed :Added 1x Mk. 82 Snakeye option
• G.91 4 (all) :
  • New loadout : 4x Machine Gun, Caliber .50, AN/M3 + 2x Mk. 82 Snakeye
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 2, 5 changed : Added 1x Mk. 82 Snakeye option
• G.91 Y :
  • New loadouts :
    • 2x AA.20
    • 2x AS.20
    • 2x AS.30
    • 4x Mk. 82 Snakeye
  • Custom loadout changes :
    • Slot 1, 4 changed : Added 1x Mk. 82 Snakeye option
    • Slot 2, 3 changed :
      • Added 1x Mk. 82 Snakeye option
      • Added 1x AS.20 option
      • Added 1x AA.20 option
      • Added 1x AS.30 option
• G.91 YS :
  • New loadout : 4x Mk. 82 Snakeye
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 2, 3, 4, 5 changed : Added 1x Mk. 82 Snakeye option
• GL 832 HY :
  • Float offset : 0.6 -> 0.4
  • DM rewritten
• Harrier G.R. Mk. 7 : Sight zoom : 1.51x / 1.86x -> 1.88x -> 6x
• Il-2 (1941) :
  • Loadouts changed :
    • 4x FAB-100 + 4x RBS-132 -> 4x FAB-100 + 8x RBS-132
    • 4x RBS-132 -> 8x RBS-132
    • 4x ROFS-132 -> 8x ROFS-132
    • 4x ROS-132 -> 8x ROS-132
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 1, 6 changed :
    • Option changed : 2x ROS-132 -> 4x ROS-132
    • Option changed : 2x ROFS-132 -> 4x ROFS-132
    • Option changed : 2x RBS-132 -> 4x RBS-132
• J8 (all) :
  • New loadouts :
    • 2x 500-4
    • 2x Model 500-3
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 2, 6 changed :
    • Added 1x Model 500-3 option
    • Added 1x 500-4 option
• Kfir C2 :
  • Updated cockpit
  • New loadouts :
    • 76x 2.75-inch FFAR Mk. 4 + 4x 500lb + 2x Python 3
    • 4x 500lb + 16x FFAR MK 32 MOD 0 + 2x Python 3
    • 4x 1000 lb + 2x Python 3
    • 2x 2000lb + 2x Python 3
    • 8x M117 + 2x Python 3
    • 2x Python 3
  • Removed loadouts :
    • 76x 2.75-inch FFAR Mk. 4 + 4x 500lb + 2x AIM-9G
    • 4x 500lb + 2x AIM-9G + 16x FFAR MK 32 MOD 0
    • 4x 1000 lb + 2x AIM-9G
    • 2x 2000lb + 2x AIM-9G
    • 2x AIM-9G + 8x M117
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 1, 7 changed : Added 1x Python 3 option
• Kfir C7 :
  • Updated cockpit
  • New loadout : 4x Python 3
  • Custom loadout changes : Slot 1, 2, 6, 7 changed : Added 1x Python 3 option
• Ki 45 Kai Tei, Ki 84 (all) : Loadout changed : 2x 250 kg : Bombs are now dropped separately
• MiG-23 (all), MiG-27 (all) : Drop tank fuel mass : 800 -> 650 kg
• Mirage 2000-5F : Targeting pod zoom = 6.15x / 98.21x
• N1K2-Ja : Loadout changed : 4x 60 kg : Bombs are now dropped separately
• PBY-5A (late) (FR) : Side turrets : 12.7 mm AN/M2 -> 12.7 mm AN/M2 (late)
• Su-17 (all), Su-22 (all) : Drop tank fuel mass : 1600 -> 1300 kg
• Su-25T :
  • Drop tank fuel mass : 1600 -> 1300 kg
  • Targeting pod NVD :
    • Resolution : 500x300 -> 900x500
    • Light multiplier : 12 -> 8
  • New loadout : 4x S-25L
• Su-39 :
  • Drop tank fuel mass : 1600 -> 1300 kg
  • New loadouts:
    • 1x Kopyo-25 + 2x R-60M (stock)
    • 2x R-60M + 4x S-25L
• TB-3 : Cockpit is now considered open when it comes to sounds
• Tornado G.R. Mk. 1 :
  • Loadout changed : 2x PGM 2000 -> 3x PGM 2000
  • Custom loadout changes :
    • Slot 3, 9 changed : Added 1x PGM 2000 option
    • Slot 4 changed :
      • Added 1x PGM 2000 option, can't be equipped together with 1x PGM 2000 on slot 8
      • Removed 1x PGM 2000 option
    • Slot 6 changed :
      • Option changed : 1x 1000 lb, can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slots 4, 8 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 -> 1x 1000 lb, can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 4 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 8
      • Option changed : 1x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117, can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slots 4, 8 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 -> 1x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117, can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 4 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 8
      • Option changed : 1x 1000 lb, can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slots 4, 8 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 -> 1x 1000 lb, can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 4 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 8
      • Option changed : 1x MK 13 MOD 0 (Paveway), can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slots 4, 8 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8, must be equipped together with 1x TIALD on slot 4 -> 1x MK 13 MOD 0 (Paveway), can't be equipped together with 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb Mk.13 No.117 on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 2x 1000 lb on slots 4, 5, 7, 8 or 1x PGM 500 on slots 4, 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 4 or 1x GBU-24/B on slot 8 or 1x PGM 2000 on slot 8, must be equipped together with 1x TIALD on slot 4
• BO 105 CB-2, Ka-29, Mi-24P (all), Mi-24V, Mi-28A, Mi-35M, UH-1B, UH-1C : Maximum number of simultaneously guided missiles is now limited to 1
• SA 342 L, Z9 (all), Z11WA : 12.7 mm gunpod : Mass : 130 -> 42.25 kg

Sensor changes :

• AI Mk. 24 Foxhunter (all) : ACM lock range : 9250 -> 18500 m
• AN/APG-66 (all) :
  • Transceiver antenna : Elevation : Angle of half sensitivity : 3.5 -> 4.8°
  • Narrow search pattern :
    • Pitch stabilization limit : 30 -> 60°
    • Period : 0.35 -> 0.65 s
    • Search zone : 5° x 20° -> 8° x 20°
  • Medium search pattern :
    • Elevation limits : -30° / 30° -> -60° / 60°
    • Pitch stabilization limit : 30 -> 60°
    • Period : 2 -> 3.8 s
    • Search zone : 10° x 60° -> 8° x 60°
  • Wide search pattern :
    • Elevation limits : -30° / 30° -> -60° / 60°
    • Pitch stabilization limit : 30 -> 60°
    • Period : 2 -> 3.8 s
    • Search zone : 5° x 120° -> 8° x 120°
  • HUD lock pattern :
    • Elevation limits : -30° / 30° -> -60° / 60°
    • Period : 1.3 -> 1 s
    • Search zone : 20° x 20° -> 19.2° x 20°
  • Vertical lock pattern :
    • Elevation limits : -30° / 30° -> -60° / 60°
    • Period : 1.3 -> 1 s
    • Search zone : 9.9° x 40° -> 9.6° x 40°
  • Acquisition pattern :
    • Elevation limits : -30° / 30° -> -60° / 60°
    • Search zone : 5° x 20° -> 4° x 20°
• AN/AWG-9 (TISEO) : Name : AN/AWG-9 / TISEO -> AN/AWG-9 / AN/AXX-1 TCS
• Kopyo-25 :
  • Ground standby : Name : PD HDN standby -> GTM standby
  • Ground search : Name : TWS HDN search -> GTM search
  • Ground TWS search : Name : TWS HDN search -> TWS GTM search
  • Ground TWS acquisition : Name : TWS HDN acquisition -> TWS GTM acquisition
  • Ground track : Name : PD HDN track -> GTM track
• Thales RDY, Thomson-CSF RDI :
  • PD modes replaced with MPRF and HPRF modes
  • All patterns : Elevation limits : -55° / 55° -> -60° / 60°

Naval changes :

• New vehicle files :
  • Émile Bertin (FR)
  • Marceau (FR)
• AF 99, AF 128, Krischan der Große, KS 5, LS (all), MZ 1, R 41, R 130, R 301, S 38, S 62, S 100 (all), S 204, S 701, SF 05, SF 07, VS 8, VS 10 : Removed 1 skin
• Ise : Engine Max Speed : 47.16 -> 46.8 km/h
• Freccia (P 493) : Loadout changed : 2x S.I. 270 L : Required modification changed : Stock torpedoes -> Torpedo tubes
• Aigle, Vautour : Moved Center of Gravity
• Chacal, Panthere :
  • Radio station, fire control room HP increased
  • Shell and charge ammo storage HP lowered
  • Added Two Fuel Tanks
  • Turret Armor : Antifragmentation armor -> RHA
• Colbert :
  • Horizontal armor above the steering : 30 -> 18 mm
  • Main turret floor : 30 -> 20 mm
  • Rangefinder HP lowered
  • Moment of Inertia : [62, 1500, 930] -> [70, 1710, 1050]
  • Moved Center of Gravity
  • Engine Acceleration Increased
  • Rudder area : 24 -> 30 m
  • Moved Cameras
  • Ammo Outside First Ammo Stage of third and fourth main turrets : Reload Time Multiplier : 1.5 -> 1.2
• Duguay-Trouin, Primauguet : Moved Camera
• Jeanne d'Arc :
  • Removed Free Respawn
  • Moved Center of Gravity
  • Engine Acceleration to 16.2 km/h lowered
• Leopard :
  • Secondary Guns can no longer be fired together with primary cannons
  • Moved Center of Gravity
  • Engine Max Speed : 65.736 -> 58.32 km/h
  • Armor Reworked
  • Added two 20 mm cannons
  • Removed two 40 mm, four 12.7 mm, four 13.2 mm cannons
  • Depth charges : WBG -> Mk. VII
  • Added ammo storage data
• Lorraine :
  • Now rearms in batches
  • First part of angled belt armor in the nose removed
  • Angled belt armor : Thickness : 70 -> 42 mm
  • Moved Center of Gravity
  • Engine Max Speed : 39.636 -> 38.124 km/h
  • Engine Acceleration lowered
  • Rudder area : 28 -> 38
  • Moved Cameras
  • Detection Height : 53.4 -> 42.4 m
  • Breaches :
    • Water Mass Multiplier : 280 -> 160
    • Additional Water Should Die Percent : 26 -> 21 %
    • Side Center Of Mass Offset Percent : 12 -> 10 %
• Milan :
  • Moved Center of Gravity
  • Added 6x 13.2 mm/76 Mle. 1929 Hotchkiss machine gun
• Paris :
  • Armor Reworked
  • Moved Center of Gravity
  • Engine Acceleration lowered
  • Rudder area : 28 -> 38
  • Moved Cameras

Ground vehicle changes :

• M4 (T26) : Added 8 Shell (in the ammo storage, it had less than the gun could use)
• T1E1 : Hull machine gun : Horizontal Limits : +/- 0 -> +/- 15°
• SPz 12-3 (Typ 3Z 8DLA) "Raketenautomat" :
  • Added servo turret turn sound
  • No longer has a magazine reload
  • Added Replenishment Delay = 4 s
  • Added Replenishment Time = 15 s
• BTR-80A :
  • Hull Top : 8 -> 6 mm
  • Gunner Hatch : 8 -> 19 mm
  • Turret : 13 -> 23 mm
  • Hull Top Hatches : 8 -> 6 mm
  • Engine Grille : 5 mm Structural steel -> 6 mm RHA
  • Water Shield : 13 mm RHAHH -> 5 mm Structural steel
  • Turret roof : 13 -> 23
  • Added small plate just under Gunner's Hatch to DM as 23 mm RHAHH
  • Engine Sound : MCTA V6 -> BTR80
  • Turret Turn Sound : Servo -> Manual
  • Added NVD projector
• Vickers Battle Tank Mk. 1 : Added Gun Mask to DM as 50 mm CHA
• Vijayanta :
  • Added Gun Mask to DM as 50 mm CHA
  • Added 4 Skins
• VBCI 2 (MCT-30) :
  • Almost all aluminium armor had their HP increased from 1000 to 10000
  • 1 Front plate inside the hull front : 45 -> 35 mm
  • Lower Hull Sides : 20 -> 35 mm
  • Inner Rear hull : 15 -> 35 mm
  • Plate above tracks : 15 -> 35 mm
  • Crew compartment floor : 15 -> 35 mm
  • Rear Door : 50 -> 35 mm
  • Turret : 40 -> 30 mm
  • Hull roof : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Front Hull Corners : 50 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • Hull floor : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Armor around the Gun Breech : 25 -> 30 mm
  • Second layer of Upper Hull Sides : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Gun Mantlet : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • First layer of upper Hull Side : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • Armor plate inside turret : 10 -> 30 mm
  • Armor in the middle of the turret ring : 25 -> 30 mm
  • Driver hatch : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Inner Part of the hull rear : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Inner Part of the rear door : 50 -> 35 mm
  • Small armors on the UFP : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Lower LFP : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Add-on UFP armor : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 5 mm RHA
  • Plate around rear Door : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • Boxes next to turret : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Boxes on the front of hull : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 5 mm Structural steel
  • UFP : 5 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • Front Hatches : 5 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • LFP : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • Little Armor Box between wheels : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Part of the door : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • 1 front plate : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • Engine Grilles : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Armor behind wheels : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 12 mm RHAHH
  • 12.7 mm Support : 25 -> 20 mm
  • Gun Mask: 65 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Turret sides: 42 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Turret back : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Turret Roof : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Front of turret : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Rear of turret upper plate : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Bottom of turret : 20 -> 30 mm
  • Part of turret ring : 25 -> 35 mm
  • Turret rear corners : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Turret roof hatches: 25 -> 30 mm
  • Plates next to gun : 25 -> 30 mm
  • Turret front corners : 25 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A -> 10 mm RHAHH
  • Sight Support : 25 -> 30 mm
  • Part of turret ring : 5 mm Structural steel -> 30 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A
  • Gun support : 5 mm Structural steel -> 30 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A
  • Gun barrels :
    • HP : 200 -> 100
    • 35 -> 10 mm
  • Added plates between turret crew and driver compartment to DM as 10 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A
  • Added plates between the engine and turret crew, and in front of the driver to DM as 5 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A, visible in X-Ray
  • Added plate between 1st and 2nd wheels on the right side to DM as 12 mm RHAHH
  • Added Driver periscope to DM as 5 mm Structural steel
  • Removed 4 plate of 25 mm, 3 plate of 30 mm and 1 plate of 65 mm Aluminium alloy AMS 4050A, 5 plate of 5 mm Structural steel, 4 optics
  • Cannon breech, horizontal turret drive, transmission and ammo can no longer be overpressured
  • 30 mm Bushmaster 2 Mk. 44 cannon :
    • Horizontal Speed : 30 -> 60 °/s
    • Vertical Speed : 8 -> 60 °/s
    • Vertical Limit : [-8, 20] -> [-10, 45]°
    • Added 2 Plane Stabilizer (mfw first french IFV and first french Stabilized vehicle is a premium ))))
  • 12.7 mm M2 HB : Sight can now use NVD
  • Added Commander Sight (Also Stabilized)
  • Second and fourth set of wheels now have 10° steering
  • Zoom : 10 -> [2, 14.74]
  • FoV : 3.9 -> 17°
  • Added Target Tracker
  • Gunner Thermal :
    • 500x300 -> 1200x800
    • Noise Factor : 0.05 -> 0.04
  • Added Commander Thermal :
    • 1200x800
    • Noise Factor = 0.04
  • Driver NVD :
    • 800x600 -> 1200x800
    • Light Multiplier : 5 -> 7
  • Added Ammo Storage data
• Sherman Mk. IVb (M3) : Added a First Ammo Stage of 23 shells (Reload x 1.33 beyond)
• Magach 6 Bet Gal : Added Delay between Smoke Salvo = 0.5 s

Current Dev version : 2.26.0.40
Current Dev-Stable version : 2.25.1.135
Current Live version : 2.25.1.135

Hello, I don’t really use Reddit too much so please go easy if I slip up, thanks!
About me: - My name is David. I’m 100% Chinese but I have been living in Sydney for the past 20 years. I’m originally from Zhuhai, Guangdong Province, China. - I have a Bachelor of Engineering degree majoring in software and I’ve been working for 1.5 years as a software engineer for a global company developing slot machine games. - I like late night gaming sessions and karaoke with the boys on Discord. I do prefer single player games as opposed to online comp, such as Genshin Impact and RDR2 because I enjoy the storytelling. - I also like movies and music. My friend introduced me to some romance animes and I got to say, they are really something else. - I try to hit the gym about twice a week, would like to go more but I’m just too busy with work sometimes. - I grew up as a Christian and I’m trying my best to live by God’s teachings. - I’m ISFJ on the MBTI system if that matters. - I’m 178cm/5’10” in height.
I consider myself to be an average looking male (pic on my profile, maybe you can be the judge and lmk?), maybe even above average if you ask my mum and aunties! I have previously only been on 1 date, I was super nervous and given my shy and introverted nature, you can imagine how well that went… I tried my luck in dating apps like Hinge and Bumble but they’re just a waste of time tbh. I did manage to strike up a date from Hinge, but I was stood up and I never heard back from her again. I don’t usually go out for late nights to bars and clubs, but I love to try new things so if you know a place, maybe you can teach me how to live a little? During the week I’m either at work, home, or gym. So all in all, here I am!
I’m looking for a long term relationship, someone who I can have deep chats with, someone I can see myself growing with, and we are both caring towards each other. If anyone is interested in the Sydney area, I’d love for a chance to chat and get to know you, maybe even a meet up for coffee and see how it goes from there. Or similarly, if you have any advice or some past dating stories, I’d love to hear them too! That’s it from me for now, thank you for reading this all the way to the end, I hope you have a wonderful day!

Hi Weddit!
I'm getting married in late Summer at a hotel on the beach in Cape Cod. Our reception will be at the venue's beautiful but bare bones restaurant. We have a very generous and flexible budget and could spend money on a florist and decorations and all that kind of stuff, but I'm not sure I want to.
I initially wanted a very chill wedding but it has turned into a 3-day party with 220 guests. I didn't hire a wedding planner because I thought it would be chiller and I'm a very good planner and organizer so it seemed like a waste of money.
The venue for the wedding/reception says that when the wedding is over at 10:30, they will pack up all the decor into boxes and then we will need to move those boxes out of the hotel's main area. I'm a bit annoyed with this because we are spending the most money possible at their venue (most guests they can fit, most expensive meal option, open bar), and it sounds like at 10:30 sharp someone is going to come ask my family to do chores.
This kind of sounds like a headache, and even preparing and bringing the decorations sounds like a headache and not the easiest or most fun way for me to spend the day. The decor I was thinking of was to do like a million candles of different heights at each table. But maybe that would be extra annoying because the venue would be clearing candles off the tables for a really long time during the end of the wedding.
Is it crazy to have a super expensive, 3-day wedding and no flowers or centerpieces or decorations? I will have a bouquet cut from my MIL's garden.
Separately, should I ask the venue if I can pay for an extra hour? We had a choice to start at 5 and end at 10:30 or start at 6 and end at 11:30. We chose 5 to time photos with the sunset. Clearly they can work until 11:30, is it normal to ask to extend a venue's time? I want to respect that maybe they don't want to ask their staff to work a 6.5 hour wedding instead of 5.5, so is it rude to ask?
Thanks!

Title says all. I feel like my 5’1 height + baby face combo makes me a target whenever I order alcohol at restaurants or go to 21+ venues. Back in high school I was even talked to like a child and offered a free cookie at McDonald’s. Does anyone else have this problem?

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JadeTeen Jailyn Ojeda Jailyne Ojeda Ochoa Jane Lucier Jane Soul Janna Breslin Jem Wolfie Jen Bret Jenna Charlette Jenna Ortega Jenna Shea Jenni Neidhart Jennifer Ponce Jessa Rhodes Jesse Jane Jessi Tron Jessica Nigri Jessica Sunok Jhonni Blaze Jill Hardener JizzJazz Jocy Cosplay Joey Fisher Johnny Sins Joselis Johana Juanita Belle Julia Rose Juliana Bonda Pack Julie Jess Justaminx Kalani Rogers Karely Ruiz Karinairbyy Karma Rx Karolina Mrozicka Katalina Kyle Katiana Kay Katie Cummings Katie Sigmond Katja Krasavice Katrina Jade Katrina Thicc KattLeya Kayla Simmons Kayle4Keeps Kaylen Ward Kaylin Garcia Kazumi Squirts KcBabyy Kebabs0verabs Keilah Kang Keiran Lee Keisha Grey Keishly Marie KenCake Kendal Jenner Kendra Karter Kendra Lust Kendra Sunderland Kenzie Madison Kenzie Reeves Kiara Mia Kiera Young KikiUndercover Kiley Corsello Kim Kardashian Kimmy Granger Kinsey Wolanski Kissa Sins Kit Mercer Kitty Ellen KittyXkum KiwiSunsett KKVSH Kneevo Kristen Hancher Kwuanisknnylegend Kylie Jenner Kym Graham Kyra Santoro Lacey Laid Laci Kay Somers Lady Sonia Lala Anthony Lana Rhoades Lana Rose LaSirena Laura Earnesty Lauren Alexis Lauren Elizabeth Lauren Summer Layna Boo Lazaniaze Lazano Lazelle Lazybutthead Leah Goes Wilde Leana Lovings Leichtperlig Lela Sohna Lena Paul Lena The Plug Lenina Crowne LeoLulu Lexi Luna Lil Pump Lilded Janet Lilianaheartsss Lilith Cavalier Lindsey Pelas Linneas Linny Hill Lisa Ann Little Angel Little Caprice LittlmissFit Liz Cambage Lizbeth Rodriguez Lizzy Wurst Loren Gray Louisa Khovanski LoveLilah Lucia Manfredi Ludmii Alderete Luma Skye Luna Alessandra Luna Star LupuWellness Luxury Girl Lydia Grace LylasBigHeart Lyna Perez Lyna Perez MaareBeaar Mackenzie Ziegler Mackz Jones Madelene Wright Madison Ginley Madison Ivy Madison Moore Malu Trevejo Mamibree Mandy Rose Mandy Rose Maria Arreghini Maria Eduarda Maria Eugenia Maria Gjieli Maria Nagai Mariah Mallad Mariana Cruz Martina Finocchio Martina Vismara Maru Karv Mary Moody Mataya Sweeting Mathild Tantot Mati Marroni Mckinzie Valdez Me1adinha Meana Wolf Meeti Kalher Meg Turney Megan McCarthy Megnut Mela Moria MelimTX Melissa Debbling Melody Rabbit Mia Azul Mia Francis Mia Khalifa Mia Malkova Michelle Rabbit Michelle Zepeda Mikaela Fuente Mikaela Pascal Mikaela Testa Mikahhlynn Mikaila Murphy Mikaylah Milan Mirabella Milf And Daughter Millie Bobby Brown Mimsy Bun Mimsy Heart Mini Loona MissBnasty MissCindyTran MizzTwerksum Molly Eskam Morgan Vera Moriah Mills Ms Fiire Ms Sethi MsPuiyi Mulan Vuitton Murka Valentin Nacre Victoire NakarySp Nala Fitness Naomi Soraya Naomi Swann Nara Ford NataLee Natali Polyakova Natalia Fadeev Natalie Coppes Natalie Reynolds Natalie Roush Natasha Aughey Natasha Nice Neiva Mara Neringa Kriziute NickiiBaby Nicola Cavanis Nicole Aniston Nicoletta Shea Nikki Woods Niykee Heaton Noelle Leyva NoemieLili NonaKanal Noonz_Supattra Nurababy Nursh Nyukixthequeen Octokuro Olivia Casta Only Jayus Paige Nieman Paige VanZant Paloma Silva Pamibaby Pandora 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Hey readers!
I hope you all had a great reading week. Let's get down to business, shall we?
I finished:
Magic Burns by Ilona Andrews (audiobook). Continuing on with the GraphicAudio versions of one of my favorite series. This was as excellent as the first and I was foolishly grinning at the Curran point of view bonus scenes at the end. Highly recommend these versions, but now I have to wait until the third is released months from now. 4.5/5
Murder by Other Means and Travel by Bullet by John Scalzi (audiobooks). I really enjoyed the first in the series that I finished a few weeks ago, but I think Quinto's lack of depth in his narration becomes apparent when you start burning through these novellas. They're still fun romps though. 3.5/5
7th Circle by Tate James. Loved the Madison Kate series and couldn't wait to dive into this one. It doesn't quite have the same angst and anger as the other series, but there's a great set up and I love the gender swapped power roles we get. 3.75/5
I'm currently reading Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir with /bookclub, The Boys: A Memoir of Hollywood and Family by Ron Howard and Clint Howard for my in-person book club (audiobook), The Nameless Restaurant by Tao Wong (audiobook), and Anarchy by Tate James.
What are you reading?
Reminder: If you see someone breaking the community rules, please report it. The mods can't deal with any issues if we don't know about them.

Splitting the matches into the daily schedule this round, Monday's matches will go up tomorrow (hopefully this lets me get this stuff up before play finishes for the day). Women's and men's matches are below :

WTA Singles :

Pavlyuchenkova vs Mertens :

After an extended stretch of middling results, Pavlyuchenkova appears to be back in form. She’s been taking the long route to the finish line, requiring third sets in the last two rounds, but wins against Samsonova and Potapova are really high quality stuff. She’ll have a chance at another great win in the next round against Elise Mertens, who is collecting her own Pokedex of big names. Mertens beating Osorio in two was a good sign, but continuing her dominance against Pegula puts her near the peak of her performance results-wise. Generally, I’d like Mertens against Pavlyuchenkova, but I’m not sure how much weight to put into the Pegula win. Jessica really wasn’t at her best, and it seemed like she was fighting off the ball rather than directing it. Pegula hits a very flat ball so if she’s struggling with her timing on clay things can go bad quickly. Mertens played solid but I felt like it was a team effort with Pegula playing poorly to complement Mertens’ play.
Pavlyuchenkova has a more traditional swing production and hits the ball very hard. Mertens is faster, but Pavs has a way of keeping the ball out of her opponent’s strike zone and her weight of shot can be effective against someone like Mertens who is more about skill and accuracy than power. There’s really no way this won’t be close. I’m cheering for Mertens but I think Pavlyuchenkova has gotten through higher quality matches thus far and she might be slightly more experienced at this level. Pavlyuchenkova in 3.

Muchova vs Avanesyan :

This round, I guess unsurprisingly, contains a lot of very solid baseliners. I expected Begu to get to a third set against Muchova, but it was evident early that Muchova’s speed around the court was going to play a major difference. There have been a few matches in the past round where lateral speed (or slight lack thereof) was the deciding factor (Hurkacz/Varillas, Fritz/Cerundolo, Tauson/Avanesyan) and that was the case here. For Muchova, this is a very welcome run at a major event. She’s had some huge almost-results at majors, and her results have suffered a bit afterwards. Here is another chance to make the quarterfinals, and she’s a pretty heavy favorite. But is she?
Avanesyan seemed outmatched early in her match against Tauson, and Clara was able to hit through her a good portion of the time. Avanesyan had trouble defending her serve, and plan B went into effect. Luckily for her, outlasting Tauson worked. Elina dug in and Tauson started to force the issue, making dropshot errors and sending forehands long. The third set was competitive but Tauson’s narrative about her legs being tired had become fairly public, and she was forcing the issue an awful lot. It’s possible, but it’s really tough to come up with a whole set of offense on slow clay. Avanesyan dug in, and to her credit there was a good 30 minute stretch where she actually didn’t miss the court. The result was pressure on Tauson’s serve, and they traded a number of breaks until ultimately Avanesyan got through.
Muchova having proper stamina means she can win where Tauson ran out of gas. I think it’ll be a lot tougher than the -400 pricetag indicates though. Avanesyan has a heavy forehand, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that she barely missed a shot in her last set of tennis. Working against her is the 12 hours she’s spent on court this week, and Muchova possessing a lot of variety in her offense. It’s just a tough opponent to play for the first time, but given what we’ve seen from Elena so far she’s likely to play her best. Muchova in two, with the second set likely being the closer one.

Svitolina vs Kasatkina :

Svitolina played Blinkova a week ago in the finals of Strasbourg. The odds were even for both. It was a blowout. They played again in the third round, which Svitolina coming in at -340. This time, she barely won in a marathon 3-setter. The quick turnaround runback on tour produces some of the wildest deviations in pricing and results, but it seems like Blinkova’s familiarity with Svitolina’s patterns allowed her to make adjustments. She was a bit more aggressive, and seemed to be a half-step ahead of Svitolina during rallies. The question for Svitolina here is how much she has left. Elina is 6-0 against Kasatkina, although none of the matches are within the last 3 seasons. That type of dominance is due to their similarity. Svitolina and Kasatkina are both extremely consistent, and win from making it clear to their opponent that they’re not going to end the rally. Forcing the issue is tough against them because they have great speed and good defensive skill. The big difference is Svitolina hits the ball very hard, and Kasatkina gets through with finesse.
Kasatkina is nearing her best level this week and that makes her a favorite in this matchup for one of the first times ever. She had a very easy match in the third, since Peyton Stearns made a number of errors and seemed to get rattled by the occasion and the scoreboard. She’ll be the fresher player since Svitolina is coming off a title run, but overcoming a player who has always beaten you, and who has an easier time scoring points during neutral rallies can be really difficult. Svitolina’s serve isn’t likely to score a ton of points here, but it’s stronger than Kasatkina’s. This is a bit like the Gauff/Andreeva match to me because I’m a bit more excited to see it play out than I am confident that I know what’s going to happen. Svitolina is Gauff in this one, a bit faster, bringing more power, but not as technically sound with her groundstrokes. Kasatkina is Andreeva, tremendous skill and consistency, but it’ll be hard to end rallies. If Kasatkina wins, I expect it to be in straight sets. Svitolina in 3 is what I’m expecting though.

Stephens vs Sabalenka :

I thought Rakhimova might give Sabelenka a little trouble, but my worry that her old form might return is unfounded, like most worries. Rakhimova went up an early break, but Sabalenka is crushing the ball this week and the slow courts are giving her plenty of time to set up. Having a huge serve is a big boost in this next match, because Stephens is also thriving in these conditions. Sloane doesn’t really play with a sense of urgency, but she’s such a good athlete that she’s able to run down most shots. Putintseva extended rallies and was really effective at working multiple shots and remaining patient until she could employ a dropshot, but overall Stephens was having success while doing less. When she gave up a short ball or was out of position, it felt like Putintseva was under immense pressure to try to end the rally right there. When the same opportunities came for Stephens, she was able to just hit heavy forehands and usually wound up well inside the baseline on the next shot if the ball came back at all. It’s a benefit she won’t have in this matchup, and I’m having a hard time imagining her winning this match.
Stephens’ defensive ability and power will let her play even against Sabalenka in a lot of rallies, but a lot of the points she created against Putintseva won’t be here in this one. Sabalenka having power doesn’t make her any better technically than Putintseva, but it means she doesn’t have to focus as much on depth on these returns. Stephens should be competitive but I think she’ll lose by a break in each set. Sabalenka in 2.

ATP Singles :

Khachanov vs Sonego :

This is going to be really good. Generally, Rublev is regarded as a better player than Khachanov. He has had higher rankings, more titles, and his game is more flashy since his groundstrokes are huge and his noises are notorious. Here though, Khachanov is likely a tougher test for Sonego. Sonego was going uphill against Rublev, but he was the player getting more benefit out of his serve. Rublev earning his points is fine, but against a server it can create some pressure over time. Khachanov’s delivery is at least as good as Sonego’s, so it comes down to which player is more solid from the baseline. For me, that’s Khachanov. He has a better backhand, and his forehand is a bit more about arm & muscle than technique but he hits with a heavy Western grip that works well on clay. Sonego is much more efficient in the frontcourt and his dropshots are tremendous, but he’s going to need a mercurial performance here to win.
These two have split matches on clay, with Khachanov winning the most recent one. They’re obviously not the same players they were in 2019, but both have made similar amounts of improvement so I think there’s a good chance that the Rome 3-setter is a decent data point. Since Kokkinakis was able to win a set and be competitive in the others, I expect that Sonego’s similar serve/forehand combination can make inroads. Khachanov doesn’t deviate from plan A, and periods where his opponent redlines are acceptable to him and his team. I think Sonego will win a set or two, but the quantity of offense he’ll need to come up with against Khachanov may see him come up a bit short. Rublev has bigger groundstrokes, but his lateral movement is poor compared to Khachanov so I think defense beats offense here. Khachanov in 4-5.

Djokovic vs Varillas :

Djokovic needs to be careful here. Varillas has appeared completely overmatched in every single match in this tournament, and that seems to be when he strikes. Hurkacz was ahead early and looking solid, but I didn’t think it would last. Varillas was putting a lot of returns in play, and Hurkacz makes a lot of rally ball errors on his backhand. I’d say he’s up there with Madison Keys for casual swings that sail long. It’s good to remember that most guys his height can’t even come close to his baseline prowess, but for Varillas the slight inability to escape baseline rallies meant he got worn down as the match went on. Varillas moves the ball extremely well and rarely misses. The 3/5 format seems to really suit him, and having better results as majors is a really good thing for a young player on tour. I can guarantee that he’ll be down in the scoreline again against Djokovic. Can he come back?
No. For ADF fans, this was the best chance for him to beat Novak at a major. He played the match of a lifetime, and he didn’t win a set. The best quality matches on tour seem to negate the server’s advantage, and this was no different. Djokovic and ADF combined for 12 breaks across 3 sets, 3 sets which included a 6-2 blowout and still took 3 and a half hours. This was great tennis, and ADF acquitted himself well, but what was clear in this match is that it is extremely difficult to score on Djokovic. Most of the breaks and momentum shifts occurred at changes of ends. The south (if you’re watching TV) side of court Philippe-Chatrier seems to be way more worn at the baseline, and Djokovic and ADF both struggled a bit there in the slightly windy conditions. Something to keep an eye on if you’re betting as there are break markets I suppose.
Varillas is going to treat fans to a gutsy performance, but he’s been winning thus far by outlasting his opponents, and he’s not going to be able to do that here. Add in that those heroic performances mean he’s played 15 sets of tennis already, and he’s likely going to display a lot of heart but quietly be ready to accept the loss also. This is a great moment for an extremely deserving player, but Novak’s level thus far tells me only Musetti/Alcaraz can really compete with him. Djokovic in 3

Alcaraz vs Musetti :

If you have Alcaraz futures, this is going to be a tough sweat. So far this tournament, Alcaraz has looked ridiculous good. I won’t disparage the hard work pros put in, but when you see guys like Alcaraz the mind goes to how good everyone could be if they all took their training to the next level. He has natural gifts of course, and speed can’t be taught, but Carlos has been training harder and playing harder than everyone else on tour for a good 2-3 years now, and it makes it really hard to catch up. You can elevate your game to compete with him, but it becomes the Nadal question of how long you can stay at that level, and what the mental effect is of watching them pull away as you choose between going to a more conservative approach (likely the right choice but equally likely to be a losing effort longterm) or continuing to exert and losing to your own errors. Shapovalov gave us a great show, but his red-line game almost appears to be a fun treat for Alcaraz to play against. The slow conditions are really good for Alcaraz, because he has the ability to generate his own pace and the ultra slippery courts (dry conditions) mean that dynamic movement is a big key.
When I’m done gushing about Alcaraz, there is somehow a legit contender waiting. Lorenzo Musetti flies under the radar for big chunks of the season, but here he is one of the few people who can win the title. His defense is tremendous. He is extremely quick around the court and has great skill and depth on his gets. The part that really gives him a chance here is that he has the ability to infuse power at any time. Alcaraz is a rhythm player, and seeing difference paces leads him into the one aspect of his game (besides the serve) that is still less than optimal at times, decision-making. He is suffering a little bit from success lately, and the bailout dropshot or ornate volley/winner for the crowd is entering his game a bit. Carlos is good enough to get away with it, and he is actually good enough at tennis that he still makes a big percentage of these attempts. So wild that occasional highlight reel shots is considered a leak, but it’s hard to find them with Alcaraz so you take what you can get. Criticizing shot selection almost feels a bit absurd here, because pretty much every player from the Spanish federation has exceptional decision-making on the court.
That paragraph was supposed to be about Musetti, so I’ll try again. Musetti rolled Cam Norrie in round 3, and he won the previous meeting against Alcaraz, a three set thriller in Hamburg. Alcaraz has made improvements, but Musetti should still be able to hang. Physically he’s there. He has a good enough serve, he has enough power, and his one-hand backhand presents an interesting challenge for Alcaraz because most one-handers on the tour aren’t that good at this stage; it’s a shot Carlos doesn’t get to train against much. The slow courts and balls mean both players will have a hard time hitting past the other, and that means we’re going to get treated to what I expect to be the best match of the tournament thus far. I don’t think Alcaraz can win this in straight sets, but Musetti has taken losses this year on clay and Alcaraz has pretty much solved every single problem that has presented itself. Alcaraz in 4-5. If he can win this in straights just hand him the trophy.

Ofner vs Tsitsipas :

Sebastian Ofner is in the top 100. This has been a long long long time coming. If you look at the best performers on the Challenger tour for the past few years, his name is at the top of the list. The other guys like Stricker, Bergs, Sachko, etc have gotten their shots on tour though, while Ofner has mostly grinded away. He’s currently ranked 70 in the live rankings though, which means direct entry into Wimbledon and the USO. Ofner is at his best on clay, but he has a big serve and a great work ethic so there’s a good chance he can rack up more points in the North American hardcourt swing. Ofner will have a tough time continuing his run here, as Tsitsipas is playing great tennis. He’s also fresh after a fairly simple match against Diego Schwartzman. Diego battled as usual, but his lack of a serve meant that Tsitsipas was never really in danger. Ofner presents a tougher challenge since he has a great serve, but he got past Fognini through determination and being the slightly more consistent player. Against Tsitsipas, he’s outgunned in the serving and stamina department, and Tsitsipas has a heavier forehand also. It’s no knock on Ofner, but all his specialties here are eclipsed. This section of the draw is shaping up for this to be one of the best majors in a long long time. Tsitsipas in 3-4.

TL;DR - less than 3 hours after eating a lot of carbs and even some candy, my blood sugar is only 80. IDK if that's good or bad or other.
I got diagnosed with T2 like in 2014 or so, I think. didn't know much about it, none of the doctors really gave much advice (pharmacist was more helpful). I just kinda been winging it since then, but tbh mostly neglecting it. I was on insulin initially, then stopped then got back on, then stopped again.
I lost a little over 60lbs in the first half of 2022, on this expensive diet program. This time, my dietary habits have actually change. I literally cannot eat but maybe a little over half as much as I used to eat normally. Spending most of the year on that diet program did reduce my appetite tremendously.
Even before I ate myself into diabetes, I'd been hypoglycemic since at least the early 00s, so I was already familiar with the feeling that you get with low blood sugar. (I didnt even know what it was for a long time, I just knew I would feel very deathly and then pass out if I got too hungry.)
Anyways, in the times when I was paying proper attention to my blood sugar levels, I think I was supposed to aim for 90-120 on the blood-o-meter. (it's been so long since I checked it regularly, the battery on my meter was dead and it wouldn't turn on with a new battery.)
Fast forward to four weeks ago and I begin a new physical fitness routine, pushing really hard. But there were several times where I felt extremely low blood sugar symptoms after working out and once even passed out for a few seconds, so I went to a new doctor to see what's up. I told her the full detailed history that's briefly covered here and what's been going on recently. Doc wanted to get labs and wanted me to get new meter and keep a journal while we waited for the labs (because it was about to be a 3 day weekend in addition to the 48 hour lab turnaround time). So I did it and I noticed all the times where I felt a low-sugar incident coming on, my blood sugar was in the low 80s. (as it was most mornings when I first got up). Went back to doc when labs came back. She reviewed the labs and my journal. She said looking at the labs alone, if I never told them I was diabetic there's nothing there to make her suspect it. After reading my journal, she said I'm not eating even 1/3 the calories I need for the physical fitness regimen I am in.
Basically, I'm supposed to stop avoiding carbs at all costs like I mostly have been for the past 18 months. I'm supposed to eat more carbs, more fats, elsewise my body's just going into starvation mode and shutting down instead of burning calories. (is basically what i gleaned from the conversation) Just eat normal, but not foolishly, but get at least 3k calories per day, says the doctor. And that's to lose weight; she said even calories to maintain current weight.
Now, I'm in the opposite position of where I been for most of my life - I'm now supposed to eat more even though I don't want to, instead of wanting to eat way more than I should. It's been more difficult than one might imagine, especially for someone who is so proud of myself for finally beating food addiction after a lifetime of struggling with it. So I went out tonight to go see the new Spiderman movie with the kiddo (excellent movie btw) and we went to a chinese restaurant for dinner before the movie. For the first time in like forever I did not tell them 'no rice' to go with my mongolian beef. I even ate a bit more than normal (well, my new normal) as well. At the movies, I even got butter on the popcorn and candy.
So the movie, was 2.25 hours long and it's a 30 minute drive home, so that's just under 3 hours after eating 'all those carbs' from the rice and maybe 2 hours since I stopped eating buttery popcorn and chocolate mints when I got home to check my blood sugar. - My blood sugar is only 80 right now. I expected it to be at least like 115-120ish. After all that. I feel fine, but recent experience says I should be feeling super bad (low sugar).
^-- Is this normal? Like how can it be that low so soon after I ate all that junk and haven't even done any physical activity besides casual walking today? Or is that just normal for ppl who are not diabetic?
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I'm sorry for the long rambling post, thanks if you made it this far. It's just even after 10 years almost I still don't understand this all very well and now I'm in uncharted waters for me, with getting in physical shape and stuff. I've basically just lived on "zero sugar, as little carbs as possible, and as little food as possible" as much as I could force myself to ever since the T2 diagnosis and now the doc is saying to change that and eat more and idk what to expect or should be considered 'normal' hell, I have no idea what I'm doing or what I'm talking about. i'll be surprised if this makes sense to anyone