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Possibility of AI-based Mipmap-like technology

2023.06.04 18:47 Noccai_ Possibility of AI-based Mipmap-like technology

Hello there, internet stranger! Let's talk about AI!
(((DISCLAIMER just to be sure:
Yes I am aware that "AI" is a marketing buzzword for many different technologies. I am also aware of the serious ethical and copyright issues of AI. This is just a discussion about a potential usecase of AI.)))
Anyways, when I saw how good some AI sharpening and upscaling tools are, it gave me an idea (that someone definitely already had, maybe even already created):
What if we used AI to generate near perfect "mipmaps".
Now, mipmaps might not be the correct term here, because what I am thinking of would allow upscaling to higher resolutions than the original, not just downscaling like with mipmaps.
Basically using AI sharpening tools, we could pre-generate many versions of an original sprite/texture that would be indistinguishible from the original, but of higher and lower resolution.
We would then swap the versions of the sprites based on how close it is to the camera, just like mipmaps.
It could also counter one of the greatest problems with 2D sprites: scaling.
We could create different versions of the sprite for different resolutions, without having to recreate it.
What do you think?
submitted by Noccai_ to gamedesign [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:46 ReasonableBerry9157 I 24F want to leave my fiancé 24M. At least I think so

I think this is the end.
I 24F have been with my fiancé 24M for 3 years now. In the beginning everything was amazing. He was so kind, thoughtful, sweet. I fell in love with him because of those qualities.
Over the years though, those qualities have disappeared. I’ve fought to keep our relationship going for years. I sacrificed so much of myself for years just to save the relationship. He would make promises to fix his part of the issue, keep that promise for a week or two and the moment I feel safe enough to feel happy he stops putting in the effort.
Over the years he’s gone from spending a lot of time with me to only doing so when I’m on the verge of leaving and crying and begging.
He used to put in so much effort just to make me smile, but I haven’t genuinely smiled in a while, and he doesn’t seem to notice.
Our last big fight made me want to leave him. I was so ready to. He didn’t seem to see his part of the problem. But then he made a promise to go to therapy, to try. That was 2 months ago. He hasn’t even started looking for therapists.
Today I Once again was ready to leave. This time I didn’t hold back. First we had a fight and I put on my headphones to get alone time. He tried talking to me, I refused to speak and he decided to close me off in my office. He’s never done this before. He asked me why I wanted to leave. I told him I was tired. Tired of being the only one to actually fight for this relationship. Tired of being scared to be happy because when I am, he gets comfortable and stops putting in effort. I told him that I used to be able to envision our wedding day, our future home. Everything. But for the last few weeks I haven’t been able to. I told him I was tired of having to ask him to keep up with his personal hygiene. Then I put my ring on the table and started packing.
He started crying, begging me not to leave saying he can’t go without me. And this made me feel selfish. I feel bad for wanting to leave a man who says he loves me with tears streaming down his face.
He asked me for one more chance and I told him I don’t think I have it in me. I don’t think I’m capable of putting in more effort than I already have. He said he would go to therapy and fix this. I told him I didn’t believe him. I told him I don’t believe he is capable of keeping a promise.
He has started showing some change recently. One of our usual fights were about me just wanting to spend some time with him when I get home. For 3 years I fought, and cried and begged for this and now he’s finally putting in the effort to spend time with me.
I don’t see myself fighting for 3 years to see some improvement. I physically don’t have the energy anymore.
I’m also chronically ill. He used to be so sweet whenever I felt ill. Last week I burned myself fainting while trying to cook for him. He sat on the couch and watched me struggle.
I need an outside perspective. I want to leave, but I don’t want to either.
When is it time to leave? How do you know? Are you ever 100% sure?
submitted by ReasonableBerry9157 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:46 Just_me_andmystuff Kind of immoral but way more efficient alternative to the Shrine of Resurrection

So during the Calamity, when Link is wounded/died, he is placed in the Shrine of resurrection for recovery. This takes 100 years. However, I got thinking, wouldn't it be more efficient to let this link die and wait for a new reincarnation? Hear me out: How long could it possibly take, every time a hero is needed a new one pops up. We just wait for a new kid and train him. As for how we figure out if the kid's the right one, just send them near the korok forest, see if they come back with the sword. Of course this would be immoral, but surely more efficient than waiting 100 years.
submitted by Just_me_andmystuff to Breath_of_the_Wild [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:46 Reasonable_Bus_3442 Routine Chemistry Workflow

Some background story here: I work in a high volume chemistry lab with over 3000 routine samples per day and we are now working on a project to eliminate accessioning in the near future. When tubes arrive they will be loaded straight into our preanalytical modules for centrifugation (± sorting and aliquoting), and transfer to the analytical modules through the track. One problem that we anticipate is that without an assigned lab number, specimen will be difficult to locate and retrieve. I have been doing some site visits recently learning how to streamline our workflow, but I would also like to gather more opinions here.
Under our current practice, we perform QC for ISE every 15 minutes and QC for other spectrophotometric assays every 1 hour. Patient results are auto-validated and auto-released continuously before QC is passed. If the end-of-batch QC has failed (2-2s), we'd retrospectively rerun all affected samples and amend reports if needed. Does your lab have the same practice? Do you hold all the results until the end-of-batch QC has passed? What are the corrective actions if QC has failed?
Meanwhile, we now have a TAT of 2 hours for urgent samples and we are trying to push it towards 1.5 hours. The bottleneck comes from a significant portion of samples hitting the range check and delta check rules and they require a repeat. What is the percentage of samples that need to be repeated in your lab? Is there a scientific way or reference indicating the criteria of samples requiring a repeat? I would be grateful if details can be provided, or you have any experience in setting up an automation workflow that can be shared with me. Thank you!
submitted by Reasonable_Bus_3442 to medlabprofessionals [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:46 fantasyconceptguy My best friend cut me off because everyone started calling us boyfriends

I'm 20M gay and my best friend is 19M bisexual (in the closet), we're really close and I was the first person he came out to. We hung out literally every day but he recently cut all contact with me because our friends, my family and his family keep making fun of us, calling me and him boyfriends. We used to like each other a while back but nothing ever became of it, which is fine. He's my best friend and I'm literally satisfied with just that and I'm sure he is too. Last week he recently blocked me on all social media and I had no idea why, I DM'ed him on TikTok because it was the only one he didn't block me on and I left him a harsh message because I was hurt, he called me and explained to me that it was because that everyone we know is calling us boyfriends and he freaked out because he's still in the closet. I understand why he feels that way, being gay myself, I've been in that exact position before. He then told me he just wanted to take a break from everyone/everything so he had to block the people he kept the most contact with. I'm hurt that he did this to me but I'm trying my best to be understanding. A part of me thinks that if he was really my friend, he wouldn't care what people think. I know he's gonna contact me again sometime in the near future and I'm conflicted about what I should tell him, a part of me wants to tell him to go to hell but the other part misses him and is worried about him. Not to toot my own horn but I'm always trying my best to be the greatest friend a person could have, I have no family, my friends are all I got. And because me and him literally get each other in a way no one else does, I always try to be there for him no matter what it is. But a part of me knows I don't deserve this kind of treatment.
submitted by fantasyconceptguy to lgbt [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:46 awkwardly-awkwarded With blurry view and teary eyes, i left the exam hall

This is not a rant. I just wanna share this to all the aspirants who'd be giving exams next year or a year after.
It's a weird feeling, a sense of hollowness, emptiness that makes you calm down and look back at all those days you could have studied or to those days where you put 110 percent of yourself just lose at the end.
My mains percentile would get me nothing but maybe few state colleges, I won't be even near to the cut off of jee advanced. Two years that I spent, waiting for this day just passed by infront of my eyes....and that hurts. All those moments flashing back to my head while I was trying to solve questions during the exam. The whole journey back to home on the bike, I cried.
I am nothing, maybe a failure, you can say. But this is something i wanna say to all the 24tards and 25tards from my heart.
1) DONNOT DO IT IF YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS ABOUT IT OR DOING IT JUST IN PEER PRESSURE. These two years makes you get connected with an exam you never wanted to give on the first hand. I know its just a paper, there's various things that value way more than than this. But when you keep yourself associated to it for so long you slowly get attached to it. And trust me, it's gonna hurt you.
2) If you are really serious about it...then be serious about it. Consistency and health is the key. I didn't have both. My health detoriated and I kept ignoring. This was the biggest reason I couldn't be consistent even after becoming enough serious about it.
3) To all those who are gonna take a drop (like me), you are brave. Trust me you are. To chose a path that takes hardwork, patience and lots of struggles from your side is a sign that you are a warrior. I am proud of you. Just know that there are still things that matter way more than this. Life is unexpected, so make sure to take time for yourself as well while you grind for 2024.
Thanks for reading :)
submitted by awkwardly-awkwarded to JEENEETards [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:45 sere1285 Helping someone with OCD without offering reassurance. HOW?

My boyfriend has contamination OCD. He was just triggered badly by his nr. 1 trigger appearing near his food. We had to give in to the fact that he was panicking and call a friend to help him clean up. I don't live with him. I know he's gonna call me and start seeking reassurance from me. This is going to go on over the following days and he might not eat for a few days and it'll be hard not to give in to his reassurance seeking.
What else can I do? How do I help him through this without giving in and making things worse?
He deserves support and I'm the only person in his life as he has no other family and barely any other friends. I need to be there for him, and he on his side, but I don't want to make things worse for him.
submitted by sere1285 to OCD [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:44 LeatherDoughnut1527 Should I just give up?

I am slowly dying from the inside everyday this crippling pain and loneliness is killing me and the funny part is that I’m surrounded by people I socialize a lot but I have self sabotaging tendencies where I mess up my friendships but what is really killing me is that I long for a relationship (even though I’m a straight man) and want a family to dedicate every ounce of my time and energy but day by day it seems unlikely it’s not like I’m not trying but it’s looks like whatever I do is not working I want to end myself everyday but keep on living because if I do it it will affect my family badly so I pretend everything is fine but my mom knows that I’m not happy even though I try my best to hide I can’t tell her that I’m broken from the inside so I just tell her that I am tired from work or I am sad because I miss them (which is true) . I want to give up on my dream of having a loving family of my own where I can play the role a father (It hurts to type this) but there is some small part of me that still doesn’t want to give up hope. That hope is hurting me more and everytime I fail the pain grows stronger and makes more hollow inside I don’t know any sympathy but I want it to let it out. If you don’t like my post you can say whatever you want. Whatever you say won’t hurt me because the pain I feel everyday is nothing compared to your words
submitted by LeatherDoughnut1527 to Advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:44 premedthrowaway9801 What exams do you take during residency and how much do they matter for fellowship or jobs?

Mainly asking the residents/attendings on here given we can't post on the residency subreddit.
I'm tired of pushing for the few extra points on an exam compared to the sucker next to me so I can reach my dream job, simply to satisfy the whims and egos of ranking-obsessed training systems
submitted by premedthrowaway9801 to medicalschool [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:44 EuroCrazy1 Basic questions for first AutoX

I’m looking at doing my first track/AutoX event later this month in Lincoln. It’s a regional event, and I have a few questions about the classes and rules.
  1. I have a non M e46 zhp coupe, which is in the GS category when I looked at the list.
  2. They are offering the Novice class at this event, would that be best for me and what exactly is it? Would I still be in a class and timed or is it more casual?
  3. I know my car is in the GS category, so does this mean it has to follow the ‘street’ rules? As I only have a catback/wheels, but my rear wheels are wider (9”) but stock tire size (255) and looking at the rules that pushes the car up to STU or a higher class, what do I do? Would it be best to just run it in the class it fits in and not care about my ranking since I’d be competing with cars that are much more modified and competitive? I could add a front strut tower brace for pretty much all classes, but not a CAI? I was surprised by how strict the rules are, as I can’t even take out my rear bench.
  4. Is there a cheatsheet for rules for each type of car, as reading the SCCA rulebook is like reading old timey laws given they are written in paragraphs and aren’t terribly simple to read.
  5. If anyone has any AutoX tips for a first timer please let me know! I am pretty excited for this event and want to know what experienced people bring/do on track.
submitted by EuroCrazy1 to SCCA [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:43 LeatherDoughnut1527 Should I just give up?

I am slowly dying from the inside everyday this crippling pain and loneliness is killing me and the funny part is that I’m surrounded by people I socialize a lot but I have self sabotaging tendencies where I mess up my friendships but what is really killing me is that I long for a relationship (even though I’m a straight man) and want a family to dedicate every ounce of my time and energy but day by day it seems unlikely it’s not like I’m not trying but it’s looks like whatever I do is not working I want to end myself everyday but keep on living because if I do it it will affect my family badly so I pretend everything is fine but my mom knows that I’m not happy even though I try my best to hide I can’t tell her that I’m broken from the inside so I just tell her that I am tired from work or I am sad because I miss them (which is true) . I want to give up on my dream of having a loving family of my own where I can play the role a father (It hurts to type this) but there is some small part of me that still doesn’t want to give up hope. That hope is hurting me more and everytime I fail the pain grows stronger and makes more hollow inside I don’t know any sympathy but I want it to let it out. If you don’t like my post you can say whatever you want. Whatever you say won’t hurt me because the pain I feel everyday is nothing compared to your words
submitted by LeatherDoughnut1527 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:43 Yui4united 13 years old (3 weeks ago)planning to run away from home.

I've been planning to run away from home for the longest time,I'm not willing to live with my abusive parents anymore.Every single DAY,I get criticized and called stupid,dumb,useless for every little thing I do.Sometimea I get hit by my dad or my mom,Once my mom tired ro CHOKE me ro death because she was angry at me,I remember screaming for her to stop until I broke free and ran out my bedroom.My dad has beat me up numeral times when I was younger, back scratchers and sticks.Constant yelling in the house nonstop.My parents are always yelling at ME,hitting ME,Wether for the tiniest thing I do.
If I drop something I get beaten,if I say the wrong thing I get beaten.Im done I'm tired of the abuse.I just turned q3 two weeks ago.Im a teenager now.Im fucking done.
submitted by Yui4united to offmychest [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:43 Hindu88 Hey guys proud and happy new Owner of a 23 baby and I have questions

Hey guys proud and happy new Owner of a 23 baby and I have questions
  1. Where can I get some vinyl ideas? (Not amazon)
  2. Is there anyway to how my samsung up via bluetooth to use nav and all that music(not just Bluetooth for mic and music) because I tired of me grabbing my drink and cord gets knocked out. Also if not is there anyway to get the radio to straight Bluetooth when I get in car because I don't want it to keep popping on xm radio.(Not keeping that subscription when it ends)
  3. What's the best dash settings yall got.
submitted by Hindu88 to Challenger [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:43 snguyen268 All-road/gravel geometry: longer wheelbase + low trail or shorter wheelbase + higher trail?

Hi all,
I am designing a custom all-road/gravel bike with the intention of it being optimized for road/rough road/maintained dirt road, do well on rough gravel/fire roads, and somewhat capable of getting me through some single-track. In other words, toward a road bike with wide tire as opposed to a drop-bar MTB.
Currently, I am contemplating between two approaches (the longeshorter terminology I am using here is relative to each other, not in absolute term).
(1) slightly shorter wheelbase (1015mm)/front-center (601mm) + higher trail (71.7deg HT + 50mm rake 63mm trail at 700c/35mm).
(2) slightly longer wheel-base (1028mm)/front-center(614mm) + lower trail (72deg HT + 50mm rake 61mm trail at 700c/35mm.
What I am trying to achieve here is a geometry that will not feel too sluggish on road, especially on climbs while still give me confidence off-road. . My question is wheelbase length or steering more important for "stability", especially for off-road? I understand stability is achieved by a combination of those factors and more but I am just trying to decouple their effect. Also, is there a sweet spot of trail figure I should aim for? Currently thinking 59-65mm
submitted by snguyen268 to gravelcycling [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:43 nimbo94 I cannot recover my yahoo account!!

I don't remember my yahoo account password, so yahoo takes me to a phone verification page for verification code. Frankly, the phone number associated to my yahoo account is my old phone number, so after clicking "I don't have access to this phone", Yahoo advices two options for support:
1- Call Premium customer care
2- Visit our free site help
I tired calling "Call Premium customer care", but unfortunately, that support phone line is only supportive for US yahoo account holders as the agent was asking me for a "US government issued ID", and i don't live in US and don't have a US government issued ID as i live in Canada. The agent over the phone told me that the only option would be through "https://ca.help.yahoo.com/kb/account"
I reached out to the link above, and still there is no clear guide as it takes me back to the same loop as i was at the beginning taking me back to the two options that i listed.
I urgently need to access my account and i am in a very dark spot at the moment, can anybody please help?
submitted by nimbo94 to yahoo [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:43 OnePoet6601 Reactive shelter Rottweiler

So this senior guy I recently adopted was surrendered by his previous owners with moderate-severe dental disease and a nasty ear infection. On top of that, he doesnt seem to have been socialised at all.
He’s the first reactive dog I’ve handled, and while I’m able to get him away from other dogs when he is reacting to them, it just made me really sad to see him like that because he seems so scared and confused about the other dog. He doesn’t bark or lunge- rather if a dog is very close by (across the street is his threshold for this) he’ll want to charge up to the other dog and he just stands and stares at it, his body language causing the other dog to bark and try and get to him. He gets in a total trance when he sees another dog, if it’s further away he fixates on it out of feauncertainty. Hes veryyyy food motivated and he doesn’t care for looking at food or smelling it when this happens.
I will be engaging a professional trainer in the near future, but while I’m fine crossing the road and distracting him when another dog is coming- it’s hard to see him struggle so much and I wish he was able to pay them little-no mind.
submitted by OnePoet6601 to reactivedogs [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:42 lthomazini My first ever race - and what I’ve learned

My first ever race - and what I’ve learned
I’m not a race gal. I’m ok running by myself and to myself, but I thought it would be cool to run at least once amongst other people and try to reach my 5k PR (I did!).
I ran 5k in 34:20 (6:52/km pace). I got a medal and two shirts. Cool. A few things I learned so you don’t have to:
  • Races are (usually) early in the morning. I usually run late afternoon / night, and heck, I usually wake up 8am everyday. My race was 7am, and I had to wake up 5:30. It was foggy during the race, cold AF, and that definitely made ir harder for me. So prepare yourself for those kind of differences, maybe training a few times at the same time as your race to get used to it.
  • It was a big race. Thousands of people. There are fast runners who get in late and start running over people to get ahead. There are slow runners who think it is a good idea to start in the front. But the worst for me was the chit chat walkers. Like, really? I don’t mind people walking, but not side by side taking half the street. I felt I had to zig zag a lot, and it gets tiresome. I was not mentally prepared for it and it got in my nerves.
  • Pacing myself was always one of my biggest challenges. I tried, and managed, to slowly increase my pace during the race. Though I could have gone a bit faster, it worked and I didn’t get super tired.
  • I thought I would be able to listen to music, but there is so much going on that it was impossible. Between people screaming directions, cheering, ooooohs and even some live musicians in the middle, it was completely unnecessary and having phone / airpods with me was def not needed.
That’s it :-) I don’t plan to race again for some time, but it was fun and though I’m specially tired (even after a nap), I really think everyone should do it at least once!
submitted by lthomazini to C25K [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:42 Helpme_1992 I 31M am in love with a 21F escort

I just got out of a 4 year relationship back in January where I was mentally checked out on and off, but pretty much completely checked out towards the last year.
Due to this I could do all the thinking I needed to do and understand that my ex wasn’t the person who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I broke up with her and this time had the determination to make it definite and have no doubts. Also due to this I felt like this relationship wasn’t something that I was still mentally dealing with.
I knew I needed to be single and work on my personal development and didnt want to start dating until next year, but still wanted some of my needs met…
I opted to meet up with an escort 21(F)who I found online and met her for 2 hours.
She blew my mind with how beautiful she looks and her smile just made me melt. The sex was great, but above all the conversations we had regarding beliefs, relationships, interests were what attracted me to her the most. She gave me hugs and I felt so at home in her hands.
I haven’t felt like this since my first love and gf when I was 23/24. After being hurt so much I didn’t know I was still capable of experiencing these feelings again. So much that I am crying while I am writing this.
Fast forward an month later I met her yesterday again and decided to make an overnight appointment. We had great sex, but I suggested we also play games/go out and have fun instead of just having sex all evening.
We went out and visited the red light district in Amsterdam where we walked around and also went to a live sex show, had dinner where she seemed happy to visit because she was only in Amsterdam for work and never really had time to spend on herself. While being with her I realized I slowly was falling in love with this person.
We went back to her place and had sex again and then had deep conversations again until 3 in the morning. We decided to go to sleep and I hugged her while falling asleep. She fell asleep quite fast but I couldn’t as I just wanted time to just stop right then and there forever.
The next morning both of us had barely any sleep and I apologized to her for keeping her awake and she was more than cool about it. I gave her a massage which she loved and we continued talking.
We went out holding hands together for lunch where we told each other our real names before parting our ways. When we parted I just couldnt help myself and told her I wanted to give her my contact details(which she didnt have because she has a manager arranging all her appointments for her). I told her to please not feel obligated, but if she ever felt she wanted to see me again ir even just text she could contact me because this work was supposed to be temporary for her and I didnt plan on using an escort service regularly. She seemed hesitant and I already felt an idiot for even bringing it up. I understand fully well this is her job to be nice to customers, but was hoping for the slight chance she was still interested.
A bit more detail about her: she happens to be a ukrainian girl who started escorting last year in november. She is struggling with her own mental issues and just broke up with her bf and also told me she struggled with depression and knew she had to work on herself and not be in a relationship. She has no plans to permanently live outside Ukraine as she loves her country. Having said all this even if she were interested in me it would be nearly impossible to make it work even thiugh I would do anything for it as long as she also liked me.
I am just devastated I probably can never be with this person. I will meet her for a couple hours coming tuesday before she goes back to Ukraine and I feel so hopeless.
I know I barely know her and she might not even be her true self with me but I am just head over heels for this girl. Is there anything I could do?
submitted by Helpme_1992 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:42 sassyperson235 My horror call

So I was on call last night with my long distance boyfriend and I love him alot but sometimes he can be stupid and so can I anyways I was in my house it was late at night and this was before I jumpscare myself and him I was laying down on the couch talking to him on call and he said "are you alone" I said yea and didn't think anything of it at the time and he said ok then I asked why and he said no reason that made me put my guard up and made me think of horror movie scenes and thought that my life was gonna end soon but it was just a joke then later on im in my room and my dog ate something and it looked like she was about to puke and she was in my room with me and I was looking for what she ate so I was going through my stuff to see whats missing and my bf asked about my pills(I had pills because I just had crutches and I hate them but I don't need them anymore) and I had a Starbucks bag right next to it with the logo on it and at the time I had a filter and guess what the filter popped up on the Starbucks bag and we both thought oop ghost and I ran out of there scared with my life then later on I realized oh it was just the bag im fine so I admit I'm stupid when I'm tired
submitted by sassyperson235 to Horror_stories [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:42 LordHayati Hes not even a good chess player!

Hes not even a good chess player! submitted by LordHayati to EnoughMuskSpam [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:42 Narwahl_in_spaze I’ve come to realize just how resentful I am of my Christian upbringing.

It’s no secret that a lot of teachings in Christian dogma prime a lot of people for abuse and neglect. It was no different for me.
I’m AFAB and had the typical conservative evangelical indoctrination treatment, meaning I grew up being taught things like anything outside of a “godly” marriage or identity was bad.
So, anything other than 1) a proper courtship with one member of the opposite sex, 2) intimacy of any kind only after wedding vows, 3) a straight cishet identity, 4) modesty, 5) subservience to men.
I was taught to believe my heart (basic human urges and desires) was “wicked.” That I couldn’t trust myself…that I had no idea what was best for me…that I had to rely on God (and by proxy, other people) to tell me what I need and to fulfill those needs.
I was made to disregard my actual needs and look the other way when they made themselves known, lest I be “led into temptation” and forget my “brokenness” outside of a jealous, vindictive, possessive God.
I left, slowly, years ago. I’m free.
And yet I still struggle with that programming. So much so that I’m in therapy to try and undo years worth of toxic purity culture and misogyny.
It’s so deeply engrained in me that it’s affecting my marriage in ways that leave me open to emotional domination and abandonment. When there is a disagreement or a need of mine is clearly not being met somehow, I can barely even identify what that need is, let alone advocate for myself and tell my partner how we can work to meet it. When I am able to figure out what that need is, I gaslight myself so bad that I wind up shooting it down before I can even make it known. Then I find myself resentful toward my partner and furious with myself for allowing myself to be neglected that way. Then the shame sets in…
Crippling, familiar, god-fearing shame.
And the cycle repeats.
I love my parents. They love me. They didn’t know how their ways would affect me as an adult, and they still don’t know in some regards. But I don’t have the trust I need in them to disclose just how much Christianity has damaged me. They’re doing better, but they still subscribe to beliefs that write me off based on my identity and choices.
I also love my partner. They are not perfect by any means, and a lot of my needs do get met by them, as I try to meet theirs in turn. But I struggle with my end of difficult conversations that need to happen when they or I fall short. A lot of breakdowns in communication happen because of this.
So whenever I know I need to advocate for myself, I get that tight sensation in my chest that nearly strikes me mute, and it’s a battle to get a word out without backpedaling or stuttering.
All because I was browbeaten into the conviction that my needs don’t actually matter.
I’m exhausted.
submitted by Narwahl_in_spaze to exchristian [link] [comments]


2023.06.04 18:41 JadedFennel999 Birdproof Headphones, that don't get destroyed while wearing?

Hi all. I have a quaker who is amazing little ham. He loves to sit on my shoulder and I love that except he destroys my headphones when I wear them. I have ADHD and listen to books and podcasts nearly constantly to help with focus. So it's very important to my sanity.
I have used bone conducting aftershocks for YEARS and I love them. But my quaker will chomp them first thing and has chewn up 4 pair now. I have small ears so ones who sit in ears give me blister spots.
Do any of y'all have headphones suggestions that are birdproof lol. I know this may be a hard ask but I would love to have something.
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