Ar blue clean pressure washer troubleshooting
[WTS] Dirty Mattress Deals Parts Drawer Clean Out MFT BUIS, 5/8x24 Bird Cage, Zenitco RK-6L, Hob Knob Charging Handle, MOE SL Grip, Magpul STR Stock, Fab Defense GL Core Stock, ZPAP Handguard, AKM Rear sight block, AKM Gas tube, TP9 Grip, Surefire XT00, AK stuff, ETC.
2023.06.04 18:48 darealbroski [WTS] Dirty Mattress Deals Parts Drawer Clean Out MFT BUIS, 5/8x24 Bird Cage, Zenitco RK-6L, Hob Knob Charging Handle, MOE SL Grip, Magpul STR Stock, Fab Defense GL Core Stock, ZPAP Handguard, AKM Rear sight block, AKM Gas tube, TP9 Grip, Surefire XT00, AK stuff, ETC.
Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/ESqXIHQ
Stocks
$70 Magpul STR Stock Black
$40 Fab Defense GL-Core Stock Black
Grips
$10 Magpul MOE SL grip (Cant find screw and sold my spares lol) Add-on Only
$15 Ergo Grip Slimline Rail Covers 3 pack Add-on Only
$5 Magpul XTM Hand stop only Add-on Only
AK Stuff
$150 Zenitco RK-6L Basis (Brand new with paperwork)
$65 Romanian md63 Rear Sight Block
$25 Romanian Gas Tube AKM (Cheesegrater Sold)
$75 ZPAP M92 Handguard (Refinished in Bolivian Rosewood)
$25 Hob Knob Charging Handle (Blue w/ black spray paint chipping off)
Muzzle Devices
$35 1/2x28 Radical Firearms Nada Zero Impulse Muzzle Brake
$10 5/8x24 Aero A2 Bird Cage Add-on Only
$10 $9 5/8x24 A2 Birdcage (Off of KS47) Add-on Only
VP9SK Stuff
$80 VP9SK right hand IWB holster
$150 VP9SK Factory Barrel
B&T TP9 Stuff
$30 Custom Smith MFG B&T TP9 Flared Mag Well Gen 1
$50 Custom Smith MFG B&T TP9 “Stubby” Grip
Random Stuff
$20 Condor Molle Mag Placard Black (Fits 3 AK Mags, Seems to be able to fit 2 AR mags in one Cell. Kinda tight so do at your own digression)
$15 HB Industries 10051 Evo3 V2 Safety Delete (Scorpion Safety Delete) Add-on Only
$100 Surefire XT00 Weapon Light Switch (Run surefire remote switch on your X300)
$100 Ruger 10/22 barrel (Factory barrel)
$50 $40 MFT Flip-Up Sights
$10 $9 UTG High riser Add-on Only
$15 $13 UTG 5.5" long .5" height riser mount Add-on Only
$25 $22 Arisaka OOM-P5 Plate (T2 footprint for Arisaka Offset)
$10 Mil spec mag catch Add-on Only
submitted by darealbroski to GunAccessoriesForSale [link] [comments]
Dirty Mattress Deals Parts Drawer Clean Out
Photos: https://imgur.com/a/SxGYGGwPlease Dibs or comment "PM" and send me a Message.
NO CHATS PLEASE. CHATS DISABLED. CHATS DISABLED.
Parts that are sub $20 are add-ons only unless you buy multiple items or want to pay shipping.
Stocks
$70 Magpul STR Stock Black
$40 Fab Defense GL-Core Stock Black
Grips
$10 Magpul MOE SL grip (Cant find screw and sold my spares lol) Add-on Only
$15 Ergo Grip Slimline Rail Covers 3 pack Add-on Only
$5 Magpul XTM Hand stop only Add-on Only
AK Stuff
$150 Zenitco RK-6L Basis (Brand new with paperwork)
$65 Romanian md63 Rear Sight Block
$25 Romanian Gas Tube AKM (Cheesegrater Sold)
$75 ZPAP M92 Handguard (Refinished in Bolivian Rosewood)
$25 Hob Knob Charging Handle (Blue w/ black spray paint chipping off)
Muzzle Devices
$35 1/2x28 Radical Firearms Nada Zero Impulse Muzzle Brake
$10 5/8x24 Aero A2 Bird Cage Add-on Only
VP9SK Stuff
$80 VP9SK right hand IWB holster
$150 VP9SK Factory Barrel
B&T TP9 Stuff
$30 Custom Smith MFG B&T TP9 Flared Mag Well Gen 1
$50 Custom Smith MFG B&T TP9 “Stubby” Grip
Random Stuff
$20 Condor Molle Mag Placard Black (Fits 3 AK Mags, Seems to be able to fit 2 AR mags in one Cell. Kinda tight so do at your own digression)
$15 HB Industries 10051 Evo3 V2 Safety Delete (Scorpion Safety Delete) Add-on Only
$100 Surefire XT00 Weapon Light Switch (Run surefire remote switch on your X300)
$100 Ruger 10/22 barrel (Factory barrel)
$10 Mil spec mag catch Add-on Only
2023.06.04 18:33 _Triple_ [STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 50.000$+ INVENTORY. M9 Fade, M4 Poseidon, BFK Freehand, Crimson Kimono, Nomad Fade, Skeleton, Kara Lore, Bayo Autotronic, AWP Fade, Kara Damas, BFK Ultra, Kara Freehand, Kara Bright, M9 Damas, Omega, Tiger Strike, Flip MF, Bayo Tiger, Deagle Blaze, Talon & More
Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory
Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.
All Buyouts are listed in cash value.
KNIVES
★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500
★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822
★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616
⎯★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300
★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050
★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629
★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326
★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233
⎯★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110
★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840
★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784
★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759
⎯★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751
⎯★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156
★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544
★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318
⎯★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646
★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574
★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552
★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257
★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255
★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287
⎯★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461
★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436
★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353
★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212
★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123
★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375
★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363
★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269
★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192
★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159
★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126
⎯★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616
★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412
★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227
⎯★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214
★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192
★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105
⎯★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216
★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198
★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111
⎯★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368
★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228
★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201
★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108
★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105
★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99
★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85
⎯★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700
★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223
★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203
★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191
★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138
★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111
⎯★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146
★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168
⎯★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476
★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375
⎯★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137
★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608
★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305
★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97
GLOVES
★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204
★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
⎯★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215
★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140
★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137
★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75
⎯★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359
★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229
★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77
★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48
⎯★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739
★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733
★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292
⎯★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212
★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160
★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101
⎯★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59
⎯★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62
WEAPONS
AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130
AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70
AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72
⎯AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP Duality FN, B/O: $81
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive FT, B/O: $55
⎯Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $623
Desert Eagle Emerald Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $241
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Printstream FT, B/O: $54
⎯M4A1-S Blue Phosphor FN, B/O: $434
StatTrak™ M4A1-S Bright Water MW, B/O: $55
⎯M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1465
M4A4 Asiimov BS, B/O: $55
M4A4 Hellfire MW, B/O: $50
⎯USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $72
USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69
StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $139
⎯AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $234
P90 Run and Hide FT, B/O: $147
Five-SeveN Candy Apple FN, B/O: $61
Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory
Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.
Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.
Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.
2023.06.04 17:12 davidjq72 [WTS] SEND IT SUNDAY - WHIRLPOOL/SONY LENS/DJI GIMBAL Galco leather holsters, magazines, Surefire, carry handle, beretta 92 threaded barrel
Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/fwTFTXy
Do you really want something listed here, but want to negotiate? Make me an offer. I am very motivated to get rid of this stuff and I’m sure we can work something out. Bundling multiple items will help me a lot so I will give you a better deal accordingly.
TAKE $5 OFF EACH ITEM BUNDLED. PRIORITY WILL GO TO BUNDLES. I SHIP FAST.
Starting from the top and gown down the line—
SEND IT SUNDAY
Take these mags off my hands please. Prices shipped conus. $5 off each listed items bundled. No ban states.
Thanks for looking through my post and have a good rest of the weekend!
submitted by davidjq72 to GunAccessoriesForSale [link] [comments]
Do you really want something listed here, but want to negotiate? Make me an offer. I am very motivated to get rid of this stuff and I’m sure we can work something out. Bundling multiple items will help me a lot so I will give you a better deal accordingly.
TAKE $5 OFF EACH ITEM BUNDLED. PRIORITY WILL GO TO BUNDLES. I SHIP FAST.
Starting from the top and gown down the line—
SEND IT SUNDAY
- Whirlpool stackable washer and dryer unit. White. Runs really well for its age. We just got a new one that’s a little bigger because this one had a hard time keeping up with our sheer volume of laundry. LOCAL TO DFW PICK UP ONLY TV: $250 SV: $160
- DJI RONIN-S GIMBAL. This is just a backup unit that I’ve kept in the office since 2019. It never actually got used but it still works great. Excellent condition and it will come with the wooden Smallrig handle for easier low shots, collapsable tripod, and Zhiyun phone holder that is compatible with the Ronin. Only getting rid of this because it never gets used. Selling cheap because you will need to purchase any cables you might need to connect to your specific camera. TV: $290 SV: $210
- Smallrig cage and Smallrig handles for Sony A7RII or A7SII series. Self explanatory. You will need to use a battery grip with the camera body in order for this to work with your camera. Only getting rid of this because we no longer use the RII or SII series. Can be used to run and gun footage like a gimbal, just won’t be nearly as stable as the gimbal. TV: $100 SV: $60
- SONY G MASTER 85MM F1.4 LENS. NO BOX. Comes with lens caps and a K&F Concepts circular polarizer. This is an excellent condition prime portrait lens. Low light performance is awesome. Kept in the safe since 2019 as a backup lens. Only selling because we have two and don’t need both. See pictures for condition. TV: $1400 SV: $1250
- Tamrac Pro 8 Camera bag, just needs a little wipe down since it’s been in the garage. Has a bunch of pockets and organizer pieces. TV: $45 SV: $35
- Canon Leather handle camera bag, TV: $25 SV: $20
- Some random drone sling bag, can be used for other stuff too but I think it was designed as a portable camera sling bag FREE ADDON
Take these mags off my hands please. Prices shipped conus. $5 off each listed items bundled. No ban states.
- (one) XDS 45acp 5rd $18
- (one) XD 9mm 13rd $18
- (three) EMP 1911 9mm 9rd mags $20 each or $50 for all
- (three) Kimber 22LR 1911 magazine $18 each or $45 for all
- (five) Colt FD M1 carbine 30 shot clips $25 each or $105 all
- (one) marlin 5 shot clip $10 addon only
- (nine) PMAG GL9 17RD $95 FOR ALL NOT SPLITTING
- (one) c products 6.5 grendel straight mag 10rds I believe new $10 add-on only
- 3 PAIRS OF IWB HOLSTER DCC CLIPS, THEY CAME WITH PFLSTER, 2 PLASTIC STYLE AND 1 METAL $25 FOR ALL NOT SPLITTING
- MALICE/WTF/OTHER STRAPS FREE WITH OTHER PURCHASE LIMIT 2 PER PERSON
- SOME AMAZON HELMET WITH A FACE SHIELD NEVER USED $30 ADDON ONLY
- KNEE PADS WITH VELCRO NEVER USED $20
- SILECNERCO BERETTA 92 SERIES THREADED BARREL NEVER USED $155
- GLOCK FACTORY MOS PLATE SET AND SCREWS $25
- CHPWS 509 ACSS/509T TO MOS PLATE WITH SCREWS $35
- BROWNELLS RMR PLATE COVER WITH SCREWS $20
- fab defense back up flip sights $25
- Surefire ue cap black $50
- Surefire pressure switch $25
- cloud defensive pic mount for Surefire pressure switch $35
- aluminum pic bipod $10 add on only
- magpul mag pods set of 3 $15
- palmetto AR carry handle square forge $45
- ghost inc Glock mag release model g3-s $10 each addon only
- arisaka offset mlok scout mount $35
- arisaka mlok in-line scout mount $30
- magpul scout pressure switch mlok mount $10 addon only
- DON HUME LEATHER IWB RH HOLSTER 45 KAHR $25
- MUDDY RIVER TACTICAL IWB RH HELLCAT OPTIC CUT $25
- GALCO PADDLE HOLSTER OWB RH 3.5” 1911 $15
- GALCO 1911 LEATHER HOLSTER WITH MAG BELT CASE $35
- GALCO PADDLE RH OWB KAHR MK40, MK9, PM40, PM9 $15
Thanks for looking through my post and have a good rest of the weekend!
2023.06.04 15:34 Mental-Medium9414 What type of wood?
 | Photo 2 is efforts I’ve taken to clean it. Photo 1 is grossness that existed when I bought my house. submitted by Mental-Medium9414 to Decks [link] [comments] My slightly educated guess is that this isn’t pressure treated but once I know the type of wood it might help me determine if a pressure washer is appropriate to use or not, thanks! |
2023.06.04 15:25 _Triple_ [STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 50.000$+ INVENTORY. M9 Fade, M4 Poseidon, BFK Freehand, Crimson Kimono, Nomad Fade, Skeleton, Kara Lore, Bayo Autotronic, AWP Fade, Kara Damas, BFK Ultra, Kara Freehand, Kara Bright, M9 Damas, Omega, Tiger Strike, Flip MF, Bayo Tiger, Deagle Blaze, Talon & More
Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory
Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.
All Buyouts are listed in cash value.
KNIVES
★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500
★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822
★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616
⎯★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300
★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050
★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629
★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326
★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233
⎯★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110
★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840
★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784
★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759
⎯★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751
⎯★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156
★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544
★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318
⎯★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646
★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574
★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552
★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257
★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255
★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287
⎯★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461
★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436
★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353
★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212
★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123
★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375
★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363
★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269
★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192
★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159
★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126
⎯★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616
★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412
★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227
⎯★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214
★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192
★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105
⎯★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216
★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198
★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111
⎯★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368
★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228
★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201
★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108
★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105
★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99
★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85
⎯★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700
★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223
★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203
★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191
★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138
★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111
⎯★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146
★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168
⎯★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476
★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375
⎯★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137
★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608
★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305
★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97
GLOVES
★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204
★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
⎯★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215
★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140
★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137
★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75
⎯★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359
★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229
★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77
★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48
⎯★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739
★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733
★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292
⎯★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212
★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160
★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101
⎯★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59
⎯★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62
WEAPONS
AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130
AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70
AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72
⎯AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP Duality FN, B/O: $81
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive FT, B/O: $55
⎯Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $623
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2023.06.04 14:26 BiasMushroom Nature of Humanity Ch. 13
Part 6 of “Destination; Wriss”
A Fanfic of u/SpacePaladin15’s work “The nature of Predators” Thank you for the story!
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Memory transcription subject: Elva, Combat Medic Specialist.
Date [standardized human time]: September 27th, 2136
Our armored convoy sped down the road. Its bumps and jostles made sitting comfortably rather difficult. Maya tried not to bounce off of the seat across from me. As her eyes locked onto mine in a competition for dominance. She started to shake her fist at me and I returned the gesture in kind. After the third maybe fourth shake on account of the rough ride we thrust our arms outwards at each other, and she held her fist in the air while I gently covered her paw with my own flat one.
“You are too good at this game Elva! It’s not fair!” My tail started to wag as best it could on the seats-
ERROR: SEVERE MEMORY CORRUPTION DETECTED
ESTIMATED TIME LOSS: 24 MINUTES
RESUME AT NEXT STABLE MEMORY?
/Y
Memory transcription subject: Elva, Combat Medic Specialist.
Date [standardized human time]: September 27th, 2136
The growing burning sensation and throbbing in my head and body grew into an unbearable pain. I peeled my face off of the pavement to the sound of gunfire, explosions and low flying ships. My attention was immediately drawn to the inferno that was a burning town around me.
James and Alexander had taken cover behind the bombed out husk of the first armored vehicle in our convoy while the other had been pulled over to the side to give us a makeshift fort. I started to crawl to their position when I noticed Maya laying next to me. I gently laid a paw on her to ask where I was needed and she didn’t move.
A large piece of metal had penetrated her helmet and was jutting out of the side. I started to examine her wounds only to look into her eyes and see that her soul had already flown into the night. My paws found their way to her neck but could not find a pulse. I started to try and do chest compressions.
One.Two.Three. Gunshots whizzed by my head forcing me to duck. As I laid against her I could already feel that her body had begun to cool. I was too late.
I can feel my heart begin to race. My breathing became frantic. I was panicking or going into shock and both of those will kill me right now. I scanned for anyone I could approach and steady myself with. Sergeant Amélia and her squad were pinned down almost [50 yards] away guarding the war reporters and civilians. Thankfully I found Alexander and Jamie were a lot closer and if I crawled I could maybe get there safely. I held my breath as I started towards them under incoming fire. The sounds of screaming civilians sent pangs of fear through my body begging me to stand up and run. A Gojid did just that and fell to the ground headless, and set an example of what panicking would bring to me.
The only thought I could find was to observe my surroundings and react accordingly. Looking around as I crawled painfully slowly, I saw the Venlil reporter from Dad’s news crew had set up a camera and was desperately trying to record what was happening. Bjorn took a shot to the arm and fell to the ground. Their medic pulled him to the side and started to treat him. I could hear the unmistakable scream of an Arxur bomber followed by another vehicle exploding.
I pulled myself up next to Jamie who genuinely smiled at me. “OH THANK GOD! I THOUGHT YOU DIED TOO!” Several shots punctured through the old vehicle that was our cover. I looked to my alien friend to displace my fear only to see the same fear looking back at me.
Before I could respond Alexander screamed “GET DOWN THEY’RE MAKING ANOTHER PASS!” followed by the screaming Arxur death machine swooping down at us again. Another explosion that thankfully didn’t take anyone's lives, but still seemed to put us all closer to death by obliterating our cover.
I raspily tried to ask “What's going on?!? Last I remember I was in the back of the transport!” The three of us tried to hug the ground as best we could as our cover was further reduced to molten slag.
Our Sergeant slapped Jamie on the back and pointed to a nearby building. “CRAWL NOW OR WE DIE HERE!” I started to envy Humans and their clothes as we crawled through flaming debris and scattered glass into the bombed out ruins of an old arcade.
Power had yet to die in the city so the cold blast of air ran across my body in stark contrast to the fires outside. The sounds of arcade jingles trying to tempt the passersby to play them failed to drown out the screaming, explosions and gunfire in the chaos that is now a second full blown invasion.
Alexander took a raspy breath. “Where is Luca? I never found him!”
Memories of Luca sitting towards the cab of our transport teasing Maya flooded back into the forefront of my mind. “He was sitting near the cab of my transport… Did anyone else make it out?”
Alexander shook his head. “No… We need to keep moving and fall back to base. Jamie, take point and lets try and leave through a back exit and circle around to Amélia’s squad. Elva stay behind me.”
The three of us made our way to the back of the store. A mild whimpering came from a nearby door and distracted us for a brief moment. Alexander waved for Jamie to head to the sound, who followed it to a small broom closet. Slowly Jamie opened the door to a small trio of children. One Gojid, one Mazic, and one Nevok screamed as they beheld the heavily armed Marines.
Both of the marines stepped aside and looked to me for help. By the time my first paw stepped forward the three children rushed me and quickly herded behind me. I turned to them and did my best to sound confident “Ok you three. Things are really dangerous right now but we can’t stay here. We have to go around and regroup with the other marines and retreat to safety ok? Stay behind me and do as I tell you ok?”
I could not make out the words the children said, but I could only hope they would listen as we marched forward. The door at the back of the building led to a small alley that was thankfully clear of hostiles. Jamie led the way and Alexander guarded our flank while I herded the children and tried to keep them quiet. One blind turn and all that separated us from reuniting with the rest of our escort was one empty street.
I felt the M̴a̸z̸i̵c̸ ̶c̶h̶i̴l̵d̵ ̴p̶r̵e̵s̴s̵ ̵i̵n̷t̸o̴ ̴m̴y̸ ̴b̵a̵c̴k̸ ̴a̶s̷ ̵t̵h̵e̶y̴ ̵s̸a̶w̵ ̶t̶h̶e̴i̸r̷ ̸m̵o̴t̸h̵e̶r̵ ̴b̸e̵i̴n̶g̶ ̸p̸r̶o̴t̷e̶c̴t̸e̴d̷ ̴b̴y̴ ̸A̸m̴é̶l̶i̸a̷’̸s̸ ̵s̸q̵u̴a̵d̵.̴ ̴W̷i̷t̶h̸ ̷a̶ ̶m̶i̶x̸t̶u̵r̶e̸ ̴o̸f̸ ̶p̶a̶n̶i̴c̶ ̷a̸n̸d̸ ̷h̸o̶p̵e̷ ̴t̴h̴e̸y̴ ̸s̷h̵o̴u̵t̶e̴d̸ ̴“̸M̶O̷M̴M̶Y̶!̴”̶ ̶a̶n̷d̴ ̷s̵p̷r̶i̷n̷t̶e̴d̶ ̶o̴u̴t̷ ̷o̴f̴ ̶m̸y̴ ̴r̷e̴a̸c̶h̶ ̴a̵n̸d̶ ̸s̷a̴f̵e̸t̵y̶ ̷i̷n̶t̴o̸-
ERROR: SEVERE MEMORY CORRUPTION DETECTED
ESTIMATED TIME LOSS: 7 MINUTES
RESUME AT NEXT STABLE MEMORY?
/Y
Memory transcription subject: Elva, Combat Medic Specialist.
Date [standardized human time]: September 27th, 2136
M̵y̵ ̶h̵e̷a̸r̷t̵ ̵w̸a̸s̸ beating far faster than what was healthy for a Venlil. I handed the b̶l̸o̵o̷d̷ covered Nevok to their mother and tried to shake myself out of shock. I watched through hazy eyes as B̶j̸o̴r̸n̶,̷ ̵F̷r̴a̶n̵c̵i̴s̷c̶o̴ ̶a̷n̷d̷ ̶M̷a̸r̴i̵a̵,̵̧͇̀̑ were dragged back into cover. My paws made their way to Bjorn's body and began to work to stitch up his wounds. I felt a firm hand grab my shoulder and pull me off.
Alexander stared into my eyes and shook his head. His glass blue eyes spoke of the pain he was feeling while his brow tried to hide his rage. Alexander looked up to the rest of our group and shouted “FALL BACK!” and the marines started to cover our retreat. One group would stay behind and suppress the Arxur that are stalking us with drooling maws while the other group fled to set up a new fall back point and defend their retreat.
A large explosion sounded in the distance and the radios we were all carrying came to life with the sounds of hundreds of UN troops desperately trying to communicate. By some method unknown to me Pullay managed to discern information about another group retreating not far outside of town as well as a rendezvous point for larger scale transport back to the base. Slowly we moved block by block and made our way to what we hoped to be our salvation.
Despite our group's best efforts and cohesion, the Greys are relentless. Hundreds of cattle ships descend from the sky every hour. Every quarter claw we spent fighting, the Greys were destroying the Cradle and whittling us down to nothing.
We fought our way down the street. No bodies littered the town yet, like in the aftermath videos the Greys would taunt us with. We drew closer to the corner of the block. Yet in an instant several gray reptilians appeared from around the corner and opened fire without any hesitation. I watched another medic take several shots to their torso before the Grey’s suffered a similar fate. I rushed to their side only to find again that I was too late.
Amélia ordered us to advance. We could not stop here. Jamie jogged beside me as we all scanned for any sign of hostiles “We are coming back for them. We just have to regroup first.”
We only got halfway between blocks when more shots rained down upon us from the rooftops. Before I could even see where they came from the Humans made a small dinging sound and hurled rocks onto the roofs. No one but the humans would have predicted the roofs exploding sending red slabs of cannibals sliding down the walls.
I took stock of our situation again. This time a young Gojid couple were covered in the blood of another civilian. I sprinted to them “Look at me! Don’t think about it! Just focus on me!” I managed to stop them and a few others from fleeing, but watched in horror as half of our civilians started to stampede the very way we came. I tried to shove the few we had left after the marines and finally got our group making progress again.
The sounds of gunfire and screams came from behind us and we all started to move a bit faster. Several marines noticed movement in the windows only to lower their weapons when Gojid’s appeared. I and Pullay approached them. “Come with us now! We are evacuating and can’t hold this position!” Yet they didn’t move, their eyes locked onto the marines. Pullay spoke calmly to them “You can come with the Humans who won’t harm you OR you can stay with the Arxur who WILL make sure your deaths are as PAINFUL as possible. Make a choice now, WE are LEAVING.”
Another group of Arxur rounded the corner, but this time had no clue we were here and were cut down with them only returning a few shots. We led our new civilians to the herd. They had little difficulty with the decision after that. A mysterious fate is better than the one we all know.
An errant Arxur round had found its way into our group and embedded itself into Jamie’s rifle, throwing it out of his hand. He picked it up only to let out a curse and threw his destroyed rifle to the ground before pulling a folding shovel out of his pack. With a few practiced motions he unfolded it and gripped it with both hands. I begged the stars and sun to keep him safe. “You can’t be considering using THAT as your weapon?!?”
A devilish grin spread across his face. “Don’t worry! I’m just using this until I can scavenge one off of a dead Croc!” Alexander ordered us to shut up and move out. We continued to slowly retreat from this damned town. The next ambush came sooner than we expected. We didn’t have enough time to even clear the block before the fighting started again. If it weren’t for Jamie pulling me into cover I don’t know if I would be amongst the dead now.
While the Arxur were relentless, they were also apparently stupid. Every ambush they had pulled off was thwarted when they began to sprint towards our civilians. The trained marines had almost no trouble landing their shots. I half expected to see more civilians stampede again, but it appeared they had learned what happens to a stampeding herd.
Finally we could see the edge of the farming town. The hope of reinforcements as well as a way to safety reinvigorated us for the final push. Yet that hope was quickly dashed when the Greys sprang their final ambush. Three vehicles in front of us exploded blocking the street. The route’s right and left had been blocked with destroyed vehicles and Arxur were pouring out of the buildings behind us with happy looks on their faces.
Jamie had half a second to scream “FUCK!” as rounds started to sail at us. This time the Arxur did not blindly charge us. They stayed behind cover. Any explosives lobbed at them were fled from and into cover that protected them from human fire. Instead of Arxur on both sides of us, they made sure not to risk shooting their own soldiers… OH BY THE STARS! Those weren’t ambushes. Those were just raiders running into us. THIS is them actually planning!
We scrambled for any cover we could. Jamie crouched near me while we both could only uselessly watch our friends and charges die. The Nevok mother sobbed whilst holding her only child, Papa’s reporter friend desperately started to broadcast to whoever could hear us, Amélia pulled Pullay’s orange-soaked body into cover and I finally found Alexander laying in a slowly expanding crimson pool out of anyone’s reach.
This time I watched as our marines fell one after another. I watched shots land near civilians forcing them out of cover only to die in an instant. We were actually trapped this time, without so much as a chance to fight back.
An explosion landed nearby raining dirt down upon us. For some stars forsaken reason the reporter decided now was a good time to start a news broadcast so the entire galaxy could see every human die and fail to stop the Greys!!! He started to shout into his camera “I AM CURRENTLY WITH A GROUP OF MARINES NEAR THE CITY OF WIEREWOOD-”
My pulse began to race as I watched a red puff come from Jamie’s arm and leg before he collapsed onto the ground. Fuck the consequences I can’t lose him too! I sprinted to his side as the heat from several plasma rounds threatened to end my life. His leg was the first thing I saw. A round had gone straight through his femur, searing it in half. I ripped the Saline/anesthetic container out of my aid kit and flushed the wound of debris. As quickly as I could I packed the wound with gauze and started to bind it. His blood started to stain my paws red, as I realized I was out of sterile gloves. I begged for whatever was listening to not let it get infected but with it as fixed as I could m̸a̸n̶a̴g̴e̷ ̸a̶t̸ ̶t̵h̴e̷ ̷m̴o̷m̴e̵n̸t̷.̶ ̶I̷ ̴w̶e̷n̷t̵ ̵f̶o̴r̴ ̵h̷i̶s̸ ̶a̶r̵m̵,̵ ̵w̶h̷i̴c̷h̸ ̷p̵u̵l̴l̸e̷d̸ ̶s̵t̴r̸a̸i̶g̵h̶t̸ ̶o̸u̸t̴ ̸o̷f̴ ̷h̶i̸s̷ ̴s̷l̸e̴e̵v̵e̸-̴
ERROR: SEVERE MEMORY CORRUPTION DETECTED
ESTIMATED TIME LOSS: 2 MINUTES
RESUME AT NEXT STABLE MEMORY?
/Y
Memory transcription subject: Elva, Combat Medic Specialist.
Date [standardized human time]: September 27th, 2136
T̸h̸e̴ ̸A̷r̴x̶u̷r̶ ̷t̵h̴a̴t̴ ̵h̴a̶d̸ ̴s̵t̸e̸pped out from hiding spoke to me. “Well, well well! What do we have here! Little pet taking care of master? Don’t let me stop you prey! Patch him up and the Chief Hunter wants to see what all the noise… is… about… they’re predators… OH SHIT.” was the last words that would ever come from that abomination onto sapience. I could feel my teeth break as I snarled with every bit of anger I could muster. My pistol left its holster and aligned with that fucker’s head in a heart beat. I pulled the trigger as it started to charge me. I watched a hole rip through its neck then I watched the rest of my shots miss.
With a wide sweep of its arm I felt its claws dig into my flesh. I felt my body lift off of the ground. I watched the world move slowly underneath me. I watched it slowly come up to meet me.
ERROR: SEVERE MEMORY CORRUPTION DETECTED
ESTIMATED TIME LOSS: 32 MINUTES
RESUME AT NEXT STABLE MEMORY?
/Y
Memory transcription subject: Elva, Combat Medic Specialist.
Date [standardized human time]: September 27th, 2136
I screamed as I took in a long deep breath and pain jolted through my body. I forced myself to look at my abdomen and orange flesh- my intestines were hanging out. A familiar scarred face of the man I forced into a medical examination came to my side holding my medkit. “The- the TOradOL/SAliNE! The TorADol/SaLINe! Gotta clean- clean guts first! Flush it over!”
The rebuilt human started to douse my guts in the pain relieving saline yet despite its name only pain rang through before the drugs kicked in. “Next- slOWLy- put them back instartingatone- end and working them in-” I controlled my breathing as he had to slowly pull my body apart to reinsert my guts. Thank you stars the pain meds are kicking in. I don’t want to feel this.
“Flush again… and get the medi-foam can.” It took a painfully long time for him to realize what I needed him to do. He turned the can upside down and inserted it into my wound. I suppressed a scream but still bucked as the fluid filled my abdominal cavity hopefully flushing out any debris.
The bionic man held me down as I started to reflexively kick. He picked the lid off of the bio-foam can and activated a small amount to come out. He took a moment to read the directions and looked to me “sorry” before he jammed it down as well. I knew he had to but I still cursed him out of pure reflex. The foam expanded and filled the gaps in. If I had a perforated intestine it would spill its contents into the foam pouch instead of my body.
“Now- the- stitches- SEw- me- together- tightly!-” He took the pre-threaded needle and started to dig it into my flesh. The simple guide on the lid of my kit helped to guide his hand. One painful pull after another, I felt myself come back together. I focused on anything else. I turned my head to see the Nevok mother stepping onto a transport still holding her child as safely as she could. Jamie was being loaded onto a stretcher with a few bandages I know I didn’t do. I let out a small sigh of relief at the small sign he still lived but lost it a moment later.. Amélia leaned against a car as crimson fluid flowed from her mouth.
I tracked my friends in my mind. All that was left of our little group was Jamie and myself now. The memories of our squad started to flood back in as I felt my pulse drop. I’m blacking out. I’ve lost a lot of blood. Need to spike the blood pressure. Need to find the blood loss and stop it. My mouth opened to speak-
ERROR: SEVERE MEMORY CORRUPTION DETECTED
ESTIMATED TIME LOSS: 13 MINUTES
RESUME AT NEXT STABLE MEMORY?
/Y
Memory transcription subject: Elva, Combat Medic Specialist.
Date [standardized human time]: September 27th, 2136
I DESPERATELY kicked as a wave of panic flowed through me. I could feel something holding me down stopping me from moving. A scared human face filled my vision and the mouth moved and words came out. The overwhelming urge to run coursed through my body. I desperately searched for anything that would help. The human held a small bag of synth blood in the air. I was partially strapped to a gurney. I turned my head and saw an empty vial of adrenaline.
That’s what happened. Pulse dropped. Blood transfusion. Adrenaline shot to keep the heart pumping. Panic is normal. That’s what adrenaline does. Breath ELVA. Breath. I could feel the panic start to subside. Two medics came over and started to lift me up. Once again Kaeden spoke but I couldn’t quite make it out.
My hearing began to return and I could hear someone shout. “We are out of room! Can’t take anyone else with us!” another voice began to shout “We can’t leave anyone here! They won’t make it back in time! We all have to leave now!”
“We don’t have a choice! Either some of us get out or none of us get out! And these people won’t survive!”
“I-I’ll stay!” The small Venlil reporter for Prime news hopped off of the transport. “I-I need to cover this.” Another marine jumped off. “I volunteer.” I watched as a few more followed him. Their faces were a mixture of pride, terror and confidence that left me feeling like they might just survive this suicide mission. The scarred, gravitationally challenged man’s words finally reached my ears. “It looks like you have enough room for the civilians now. Good luck and stay safe.”
I felt fear coursing through my veins as I shakily searched my UN provided poncho and grabbed two things; My spare small medkit and a few magazines for my pistol. “Take these! My pistol must have landed somewhere near where I did. Stay safe.”
It might have been the multiple concussions I received but the once-mutilated human looked to soften up for a moment as he took my small offer of help. He and the other volunteers disappeared out of sight as I was dragged onto the transport. The roar of the engine drowned out all chatter that might have given me some small comfort about abandoning the volunteers to their suicide mission.
All that kept me company was the bouncing of the transport, the sounds of explosions, Jamie’s unconscious body, as well as the realization that I was a medic that failed to save anyone.
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I’d like to take a moment to thank u/CrusingNW for all the help proofreading several of these chapters. Every time I think I’ve managed to write something without 10 errors in it and they just go through and make it red. It’s really been a big help! I’d also like to thank u/RebelHero for letting me use Kaeden! It’s one of a few crossovers I hope I get to do! (also Elva does know his name from adding the examination to his medical records) And I can’t forget u/Thirsha_42 for working with me on an upcoming crossover!
As with all of my fanfics this is considered creative commons by myself so feel free to grab anything from my stories to use in your own works! I would appreciate a shout out for this but that isn’t required.
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Will be in the comments or something. I don’t even know anymore.
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submitted by BiasMushroom to HFY [link] [comments]
A Fanfic of u/SpacePaladin15’s work “The nature of Predators” Thank you for the story!
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Memory transcription subject: Elva, Combat Medic Specialist.
Date [standardized human time]: September 27th, 2136
Our armored convoy sped down the road. Its bumps and jostles made sitting comfortably rather difficult. Maya tried not to bounce off of the seat across from me. As her eyes locked onto mine in a competition for dominance. She started to shake her fist at me and I returned the gesture in kind. After the third maybe fourth shake on account of the rough ride we thrust our arms outwards at each other, and she held her fist in the air while I gently covered her paw with my own flat one.
“You are too good at this game Elva! It’s not fair!” My tail started to wag as best it could on the seats-
ERROR: SEVERE MEMORY CORRUPTION DETECTED
ESTIMATED TIME LOSS: 24 MINUTES
RESUME AT NEXT STABLE MEMORY?
/Y
Memory transcription subject: Elva, Combat Medic Specialist.
Date [standardized human time]: September 27th, 2136
The growing burning sensation and throbbing in my head and body grew into an unbearable pain. I peeled my face off of the pavement to the sound of gunfire, explosions and low flying ships. My attention was immediately drawn to the inferno that was a burning town around me.
James and Alexander had taken cover behind the bombed out husk of the first armored vehicle in our convoy while the other had been pulled over to the side to give us a makeshift fort. I started to crawl to their position when I noticed Maya laying next to me. I gently laid a paw on her to ask where I was needed and she didn’t move.
A large piece of metal had penetrated her helmet and was jutting out of the side. I started to examine her wounds only to look into her eyes and see that her soul had already flown into the night. My paws found their way to her neck but could not find a pulse. I started to try and do chest compressions.
One.Two.Three. Gunshots whizzed by my head forcing me to duck. As I laid against her I could already feel that her body had begun to cool. I was too late.
I can feel my heart begin to race. My breathing became frantic. I was panicking or going into shock and both of those will kill me right now. I scanned for anyone I could approach and steady myself with. Sergeant Amélia and her squad were pinned down almost [50 yards] away guarding the war reporters and civilians. Thankfully I found Alexander and Jamie were a lot closer and if I crawled I could maybe get there safely. I held my breath as I started towards them under incoming fire. The sounds of screaming civilians sent pangs of fear through my body begging me to stand up and run. A Gojid did just that and fell to the ground headless, and set an example of what panicking would bring to me.
The only thought I could find was to observe my surroundings and react accordingly. Looking around as I crawled painfully slowly, I saw the Venlil reporter from Dad’s news crew had set up a camera and was desperately trying to record what was happening. Bjorn took a shot to the arm and fell to the ground. Their medic pulled him to the side and started to treat him. I could hear the unmistakable scream of an Arxur bomber followed by another vehicle exploding.
I pulled myself up next to Jamie who genuinely smiled at me. “OH THANK GOD! I THOUGHT YOU DIED TOO!” Several shots punctured through the old vehicle that was our cover. I looked to my alien friend to displace my fear only to see the same fear looking back at me.
Before I could respond Alexander screamed “GET DOWN THEY’RE MAKING ANOTHER PASS!” followed by the screaming Arxur death machine swooping down at us again. Another explosion that thankfully didn’t take anyone's lives, but still seemed to put us all closer to death by obliterating our cover.
I raspily tried to ask “What's going on?!? Last I remember I was in the back of the transport!” The three of us tried to hug the ground as best we could as our cover was further reduced to molten slag.
Our Sergeant slapped Jamie on the back and pointed to a nearby building. “CRAWL NOW OR WE DIE HERE!” I started to envy Humans and their clothes as we crawled through flaming debris and scattered glass into the bombed out ruins of an old arcade.
Power had yet to die in the city so the cold blast of air ran across my body in stark contrast to the fires outside. The sounds of arcade jingles trying to tempt the passersby to play them failed to drown out the screaming, explosions and gunfire in the chaos that is now a second full blown invasion.
Alexander took a raspy breath. “Where is Luca? I never found him!”
Memories of Luca sitting towards the cab of our transport teasing Maya flooded back into the forefront of my mind. “He was sitting near the cab of my transport… Did anyone else make it out?”
Alexander shook his head. “No… We need to keep moving and fall back to base. Jamie, take point and lets try and leave through a back exit and circle around to Amélia’s squad. Elva stay behind me.”
The three of us made our way to the back of the store. A mild whimpering came from a nearby door and distracted us for a brief moment. Alexander waved for Jamie to head to the sound, who followed it to a small broom closet. Slowly Jamie opened the door to a small trio of children. One Gojid, one Mazic, and one Nevok screamed as they beheld the heavily armed Marines.
Both of the marines stepped aside and looked to me for help. By the time my first paw stepped forward the three children rushed me and quickly herded behind me. I turned to them and did my best to sound confident “Ok you three. Things are really dangerous right now but we can’t stay here. We have to go around and regroup with the other marines and retreat to safety ok? Stay behind me and do as I tell you ok?”
I could not make out the words the children said, but I could only hope they would listen as we marched forward. The door at the back of the building led to a small alley that was thankfully clear of hostiles. Jamie led the way and Alexander guarded our flank while I herded the children and tried to keep them quiet. One blind turn and all that separated us from reuniting with the rest of our escort was one empty street.
I felt the M̴a̸z̸i̵c̸ ̶c̶h̶i̴l̵d̵ ̴p̶r̵e̵s̴s̵ ̵i̵n̷t̸o̴ ̴m̴y̸ ̴b̵a̵c̴k̸ ̴a̶s̷ ̵t̵h̵e̶y̴ ̵s̸a̶w̵ ̶t̶h̶e̴i̸r̷ ̸m̵o̴t̸h̵e̶r̵ ̴b̸e̵i̴n̶g̶ ̸p̸r̶o̴t̷e̶c̴t̸e̴d̷ ̴b̴y̴ ̸A̸m̴é̶l̶i̸a̷’̸s̸ ̵s̸q̵u̴a̵d̵.̴ ̴W̷i̷t̶h̸ ̷a̶ ̶m̶i̶x̸t̶u̵r̶e̸ ̴o̸f̸ ̶p̶a̶n̶i̴c̶ ̷a̸n̸d̸ ̷h̸o̶p̵e̷ ̴t̴h̴e̸y̴ ̸s̷h̵o̴u̵t̶e̴d̸ ̴“̸M̶O̷M̴M̶Y̶!̴”̶ ̶a̶n̷d̴ ̷s̵p̷r̶i̷n̷t̶e̴d̶ ̶o̴u̴t̷ ̷o̴f̴ ̶m̸y̴ ̴r̷e̴a̸c̶h̶ ̴a̵n̸d̶ ̸s̷a̴f̵e̸t̵y̶ ̷i̷n̶t̴o̸-
ERROR: SEVERE MEMORY CORRUPTION DETECTED
ESTIMATED TIME LOSS: 7 MINUTES
RESUME AT NEXT STABLE MEMORY?
/Y
Memory transcription subject: Elva, Combat Medic Specialist.
Date [standardized human time]: September 27th, 2136
M̵y̵ ̶h̵e̷a̸r̷t̵ ̵w̸a̸s̸ beating far faster than what was healthy for a Venlil. I handed the b̶l̸o̵o̷d̷ covered Nevok to their mother and tried to shake myself out of shock. I watched through hazy eyes as B̶j̸o̴r̸n̶,̷ ̵F̷r̴a̶n̵c̵i̴s̷c̶o̴ ̶a̷n̷d̷ ̶M̷a̸r̴i̵a̵,̵̧͇̀̑ were dragged back into cover. My paws made their way to Bjorn's body and began to work to stitch up his wounds. I felt a firm hand grab my shoulder and pull me off.
Alexander stared into my eyes and shook his head. His glass blue eyes spoke of the pain he was feeling while his brow tried to hide his rage. Alexander looked up to the rest of our group and shouted “FALL BACK!” and the marines started to cover our retreat. One group would stay behind and suppress the Arxur that are stalking us with drooling maws while the other group fled to set up a new fall back point and defend their retreat.
A large explosion sounded in the distance and the radios we were all carrying came to life with the sounds of hundreds of UN troops desperately trying to communicate. By some method unknown to me Pullay managed to discern information about another group retreating not far outside of town as well as a rendezvous point for larger scale transport back to the base. Slowly we moved block by block and made our way to what we hoped to be our salvation.
Despite our group's best efforts and cohesion, the Greys are relentless. Hundreds of cattle ships descend from the sky every hour. Every quarter claw we spent fighting, the Greys were destroying the Cradle and whittling us down to nothing.
We fought our way down the street. No bodies littered the town yet, like in the aftermath videos the Greys would taunt us with. We drew closer to the corner of the block. Yet in an instant several gray reptilians appeared from around the corner and opened fire without any hesitation. I watched another medic take several shots to their torso before the Grey’s suffered a similar fate. I rushed to their side only to find again that I was too late.
Amélia ordered us to advance. We could not stop here. Jamie jogged beside me as we all scanned for any sign of hostiles “We are coming back for them. We just have to regroup first.”
We only got halfway between blocks when more shots rained down upon us from the rooftops. Before I could even see where they came from the Humans made a small dinging sound and hurled rocks onto the roofs. No one but the humans would have predicted the roofs exploding sending red slabs of cannibals sliding down the walls.
I took stock of our situation again. This time a young Gojid couple were covered in the blood of another civilian. I sprinted to them “Look at me! Don’t think about it! Just focus on me!” I managed to stop them and a few others from fleeing, but watched in horror as half of our civilians started to stampede the very way we came. I tried to shove the few we had left after the marines and finally got our group making progress again.
The sounds of gunfire and screams came from behind us and we all started to move a bit faster. Several marines noticed movement in the windows only to lower their weapons when Gojid’s appeared. I and Pullay approached them. “Come with us now! We are evacuating and can’t hold this position!” Yet they didn’t move, their eyes locked onto the marines. Pullay spoke calmly to them “You can come with the Humans who won’t harm you OR you can stay with the Arxur who WILL make sure your deaths are as PAINFUL as possible. Make a choice now, WE are LEAVING.”
Another group of Arxur rounded the corner, but this time had no clue we were here and were cut down with them only returning a few shots. We led our new civilians to the herd. They had little difficulty with the decision after that. A mysterious fate is better than the one we all know.
An errant Arxur round had found its way into our group and embedded itself into Jamie’s rifle, throwing it out of his hand. He picked it up only to let out a curse and threw his destroyed rifle to the ground before pulling a folding shovel out of his pack. With a few practiced motions he unfolded it and gripped it with both hands. I begged the stars and sun to keep him safe. “You can’t be considering using THAT as your weapon?!?”
A devilish grin spread across his face. “Don’t worry! I’m just using this until I can scavenge one off of a dead Croc!” Alexander ordered us to shut up and move out. We continued to slowly retreat from this damned town. The next ambush came sooner than we expected. We didn’t have enough time to even clear the block before the fighting started again. If it weren’t for Jamie pulling me into cover I don’t know if I would be amongst the dead now.
While the Arxur were relentless, they were also apparently stupid. Every ambush they had pulled off was thwarted when they began to sprint towards our civilians. The trained marines had almost no trouble landing their shots. I half expected to see more civilians stampede again, but it appeared they had learned what happens to a stampeding herd.
Finally we could see the edge of the farming town. The hope of reinforcements as well as a way to safety reinvigorated us for the final push. Yet that hope was quickly dashed when the Greys sprang their final ambush. Three vehicles in front of us exploded blocking the street. The route’s right and left had been blocked with destroyed vehicles and Arxur were pouring out of the buildings behind us with happy looks on their faces.
Jamie had half a second to scream “FUCK!” as rounds started to sail at us. This time the Arxur did not blindly charge us. They stayed behind cover. Any explosives lobbed at them were fled from and into cover that protected them from human fire. Instead of Arxur on both sides of us, they made sure not to risk shooting their own soldiers… OH BY THE STARS! Those weren’t ambushes. Those were just raiders running into us. THIS is them actually planning!
We scrambled for any cover we could. Jamie crouched near me while we both could only uselessly watch our friends and charges die. The Nevok mother sobbed whilst holding her only child, Papa’s reporter friend desperately started to broadcast to whoever could hear us, Amélia pulled Pullay’s orange-soaked body into cover and I finally found Alexander laying in a slowly expanding crimson pool out of anyone’s reach.
This time I watched as our marines fell one after another. I watched shots land near civilians forcing them out of cover only to die in an instant. We were actually trapped this time, without so much as a chance to fight back.
An explosion landed nearby raining dirt down upon us. For some stars forsaken reason the reporter decided now was a good time to start a news broadcast so the entire galaxy could see every human die and fail to stop the Greys!!! He started to shout into his camera “I AM CURRENTLY WITH A GROUP OF MARINES NEAR THE CITY OF WIEREWOOD-”
My pulse began to race as I watched a red puff come from Jamie’s arm and leg before he collapsed onto the ground. Fuck the consequences I can’t lose him too! I sprinted to his side as the heat from several plasma rounds threatened to end my life. His leg was the first thing I saw. A round had gone straight through his femur, searing it in half. I ripped the Saline/anesthetic container out of my aid kit and flushed the wound of debris. As quickly as I could I packed the wound with gauze and started to bind it. His blood started to stain my paws red, as I realized I was out of sterile gloves. I begged for whatever was listening to not let it get infected but with it as fixed as I could m̸a̸n̶a̴g̴e̷ ̸a̶t̸ ̶t̵h̴e̷ ̷m̴o̷m̴e̵n̸t̷.̶ ̶I̷ ̴w̶e̷n̷t̵ ̵f̶o̴r̴ ̵h̷i̶s̸ ̶a̶r̵m̵,̵ ̵w̶h̷i̴c̷h̸ ̷p̵u̵l̴l̸e̷d̸ ̶s̵t̴r̸a̸i̶g̵h̶t̸ ̶o̸u̸t̴ ̸o̷f̴ ̷h̶i̸s̷ ̴s̷l̸e̴e̵v̵e̸-̴
ERROR: SEVERE MEMORY CORRUPTION DETECTED
ESTIMATED TIME LOSS: 2 MINUTES
RESUME AT NEXT STABLE MEMORY?
/Y
Memory transcription subject: Elva, Combat Medic Specialist.
Date [standardized human time]: September 27th, 2136
T̸h̸e̴ ̸A̷r̴x̶u̷r̶ ̷t̵h̴a̴t̴ ̵h̴a̶d̸ ̴s̵t̸e̸pped out from hiding spoke to me. “Well, well well! What do we have here! Little pet taking care of master? Don’t let me stop you prey! Patch him up and the Chief Hunter wants to see what all the noise… is… about… they’re predators… OH SHIT.” was the last words that would ever come from that abomination onto sapience. I could feel my teeth break as I snarled with every bit of anger I could muster. My pistol left its holster and aligned with that fucker’s head in a heart beat. I pulled the trigger as it started to charge me. I watched a hole rip through its neck then I watched the rest of my shots miss.
With a wide sweep of its arm I felt its claws dig into my flesh. I felt my body lift off of the ground. I watched the world move slowly underneath me. I watched it slowly come up to meet me.
ERROR: SEVERE MEMORY CORRUPTION DETECTED
ESTIMATED TIME LOSS: 32 MINUTES
RESUME AT NEXT STABLE MEMORY?
/Y
Memory transcription subject: Elva, Combat Medic Specialist.
Date [standardized human time]: September 27th, 2136
I screamed as I took in a long deep breath and pain jolted through my body. I forced myself to look at my abdomen and orange flesh- my intestines were hanging out. A familiar scarred face of the man I forced into a medical examination came to my side holding my medkit. “The- the TOradOL/SAliNE! The TorADol/SaLINe! Gotta clean- clean guts first! Flush it over!”
The rebuilt human started to douse my guts in the pain relieving saline yet despite its name only pain rang through before the drugs kicked in. “Next- slOWLy- put them back instartingatone- end and working them in-” I controlled my breathing as he had to slowly pull my body apart to reinsert my guts. Thank you stars the pain meds are kicking in. I don’t want to feel this.
“Flush again… and get the medi-foam can.” It took a painfully long time for him to realize what I needed him to do. He turned the can upside down and inserted it into my wound. I suppressed a scream but still bucked as the fluid filled my abdominal cavity hopefully flushing out any debris.
The bionic man held me down as I started to reflexively kick. He picked the lid off of the bio-foam can and activated a small amount to come out. He took a moment to read the directions and looked to me “sorry” before he jammed it down as well. I knew he had to but I still cursed him out of pure reflex. The foam expanded and filled the gaps in. If I had a perforated intestine it would spill its contents into the foam pouch instead of my body.
“Now- the- stitches- SEw- me- together- tightly!-” He took the pre-threaded needle and started to dig it into my flesh. The simple guide on the lid of my kit helped to guide his hand. One painful pull after another, I felt myself come back together. I focused on anything else. I turned my head to see the Nevok mother stepping onto a transport still holding her child as safely as she could. Jamie was being loaded onto a stretcher with a few bandages I know I didn’t do. I let out a small sigh of relief at the small sign he still lived but lost it a moment later.. Amélia leaned against a car as crimson fluid flowed from her mouth.
I tracked my friends in my mind. All that was left of our little group was Jamie and myself now. The memories of our squad started to flood back in as I felt my pulse drop. I’m blacking out. I’ve lost a lot of blood. Need to spike the blood pressure. Need to find the blood loss and stop it. My mouth opened to speak-
ERROR: SEVERE MEMORY CORRUPTION DETECTED
ESTIMATED TIME LOSS: 13 MINUTES
RESUME AT NEXT STABLE MEMORY?
/Y
Memory transcription subject: Elva, Combat Medic Specialist.
Date [standardized human time]: September 27th, 2136
I DESPERATELY kicked as a wave of panic flowed through me. I could feel something holding me down stopping me from moving. A scared human face filled my vision and the mouth moved and words came out. The overwhelming urge to run coursed through my body. I desperately searched for anything that would help. The human held a small bag of synth blood in the air. I was partially strapped to a gurney. I turned my head and saw an empty vial of adrenaline.
That’s what happened. Pulse dropped. Blood transfusion. Adrenaline shot to keep the heart pumping. Panic is normal. That’s what adrenaline does. Breath ELVA. Breath. I could feel the panic start to subside. Two medics came over and started to lift me up. Once again Kaeden spoke but I couldn’t quite make it out.
My hearing began to return and I could hear someone shout. “We are out of room! Can’t take anyone else with us!” another voice began to shout “We can’t leave anyone here! They won’t make it back in time! We all have to leave now!”
“We don’t have a choice! Either some of us get out or none of us get out! And these people won’t survive!”
“I-I’ll stay!” The small Venlil reporter for Prime news hopped off of the transport. “I-I need to cover this.” Another marine jumped off. “I volunteer.” I watched as a few more followed him. Their faces were a mixture of pride, terror and confidence that left me feeling like they might just survive this suicide mission. The scarred, gravitationally challenged man’s words finally reached my ears. “It looks like you have enough room for the civilians now. Good luck and stay safe.”
I felt fear coursing through my veins as I shakily searched my UN provided poncho and grabbed two things; My spare small medkit and a few magazines for my pistol. “Take these! My pistol must have landed somewhere near where I did. Stay safe.”
It might have been the multiple concussions I received but the once-mutilated human looked to soften up for a moment as he took my small offer of help. He and the other volunteers disappeared out of sight as I was dragged onto the transport. The roar of the engine drowned out all chatter that might have given me some small comfort about abandoning the volunteers to their suicide mission.
All that kept me company was the bouncing of the transport, the sounds of explosions, Jamie’s unconscious body, as well as the realization that I was a medic that failed to save anyone.
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I’d like to take a moment to thank u/CrusingNW for all the help proofreading several of these chapters. Every time I think I’ve managed to write something without 10 errors in it and they just go through and make it red. It’s really been a big help! I’d also like to thank u/RebelHero for letting me use Kaeden! It’s one of a few crossovers I hope I get to do! (also Elva does know his name from adding the examination to his medical records) And I can’t forget u/Thirsha_42 for working with me on an upcoming crossover!
As with all of my fanfics this is considered creative commons by myself so feel free to grab anything from my stories to use in your own works! I would appreciate a shout out for this but that isn’t required.
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Will be in the comments or something. I don’t even know anymore.
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2023.06.04 13:23 IneverGiveUp01 A Fresh Perspective: Could Rational Recovery be Your Turning Point?
Hello everyone,
Imagine being trapped in a destructive cycle for eight long years, knowing you need to escape but feeling utterly powerless to do so. That was my reality. I'm a 26-year-old man who, from the tender age of 12, found himself caught in the relentless grip of pornography and masturbation addiction.
By 18, I was painfully aware of the damage it was causing and desperate to break free. I tried everything – NoFap, meditation, sports, cold showers, even punishing myself, but to no avail. It felt like my addiction was an unshakeable opponent. But then, something changed. I discovered a strategy that changed my life. If you're struggling, I want to share this with you...
Caught in the grip of this addiction, I would spend an average of seven hours per day, even peaking at thirteen hours sometimes. The toll of this habit was heavy, affecting my personal, professional, and social life severely. Yet everything changed when I discovered Jack Trimpey's Rational Recovery method.
While his book provided me with crucial insights, it was his comprehensive AVRT Demonstration, where Trimpey guided an alcohol addict towards permanent abstinence, that truly filled the missing pieces in my fight against addiction. The Rational Recovery method fundamentally shifted my perspective towards addiction, helping me to recognize and silence the voice of my brain (the Beast) pushing me to consume. Today, I want to share my experience, hoping it could be an effective solution for many of you. You can access the entire demonstration at the end in the 'Useful Resources' section.
Understanding Addiction and Navigating this Guide
Let's talk about what addiction really is. Addiction isn't about the behavior itself, but rather the desire to escape pain and seek a better life. It is marked by ambivalence, a feeling of being torn between two minds. Overcoming addiction involves breaking free from the grip of pleasure and reclaiming control over oneself.
Before I delve into how I applied the Rational Recovery method and the results I got, I want to pose a simple but powerful question: If I placed a big red button in front of you that, when pressed, would instantly eradicate your addiction, would you press it?
If your answer is 'yes', then you have all the reasons you need to quit. I've been where you are now, writing pages upon pages of reasons to stop, yet relapsing despite knowing how harmful it was. It's important to recognize when a pattern becomes harmful, it's time to stop.
As you explore this guide, remember the importance of keeping an open mind. Let's borrow some wisdom from Mark Twain, who once said, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” It's a nod to the importance of being receptive to new ideas and methods. This guide may offer a different approach, but embracing it might bring about the change you're seeking.
AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique) is a transformative strategy that I've found invaluable in my journey to overcoming addiction. This technique helps you recognize and differentiate yourself from the 'addictive voice', the part of your primitive brain structure that fuels your addiction.
Think of AVRT as your personal defense mechanism that works under any circumstance, regardless of your emotional state – be it sadness, anger,boredom, loneliness, or stress. The aim here isn't to suppress these emotions, but rather to stay in control of your actions, no matter what you're feeling.
The 'addictive voice' – which we'll call the 'beast' – is a sneaky internal saboteur. It's the part of you that wants to continue with the harmful habit, despite you consciously knowing it's not beneficial. AVRT is about learning to separate this beast from your own true will, thus empowering you to reclaim your life.
The power of AVRT lies in this distinction between you and the beast. Once you master this technique, you'll learn to reject the rationalizations and temptations that originate from the beast. The dissociation from the beast is what makes it possible to make a firm, irrevocable commitment to quit your addiction. By not identifying with the beast, you can prevent yourself from suffering commonly associated with resisting addiction.
In essence, AVRT isn't about fighting or resisting; it's about recognizing, dissociating, and reclaiming control of your life.
The "beast" is a term coined by the Rational Recovery method to denote the part of your brain pushing you towards your addiction. We call it the Beast because, like a wild, uncontrollable animal, it cares about nothing but fulfilling its need. It is a cunning inner voice, whispering that you need to engage in porn and masturbation to feel satisfied, relieved, or happy. This voice, often referred to as the Addictive Voice (AV), can be quite deceptive. It might paint you a picture of an enticing scene, produce alluring sounds, offer a moment of relief, or even present a false promise of control—"Just be more careful next time."
This beast manipulates you with excuses, deceptive emotions, and outright lies to make you succumb to your addiction. But let's make one thing clear: the beast is not your friend. It's your worst enemy. It's a parasitic entity that has latched onto your life, thriving on your addictive behavior. Like every living thing, it fears its end, and that end comes when you stop feeding the addiction. It has no regard for your well-being, your relationships, your life goals, or your health. Only its survival matters.
As you read through this guide, it's crucial to remain aware of the Beast's interference. Remember, the Beast manifests as a voice in your head or as an emotion, pushing you towards addictive thoughts and actions. You might experience feelings of resistance, discomfort, anger, fear, anxiety, or even a cringe reaction. These are the Beast's attempts to disrupt your progress.
While the Beast can attempt to manipulate your thoughts and emotions, it does not and cannot control your actions. It's your survival instincts that the Beast taps into, but your ability to make decisions, to govern your actions, thoughts, and emotions is uniquely yours.
The Beast may present itself in thoughts like, "This is too difficult to understand," "This won't work for me," or "I'm an exception to this method." Understand that these thoughts are not your own, but the Beast's desperate attempts to maintain control.
In its relentless quest for satisfaction, the beast views everything, including you, as expendable. It's the embodiment of your addiction, caring for nothing but its next fix. It's deaf to reason, blind to consequences, and immune to remorse.
If this description resonates with you, don't panic. You're not 'sick.' It's merely an error of association made by your body - an error in the script, so to speak. It mistakenly believes that this addictive behavior is as vital for your survival as breathing or eating.
Take these moments of resistance as signs that you are on the right track. You're threatening the Beast's existence, and it's trying to fight back. Recognize these voices for what they are, continue moving forward, and know that each step brings you closer to reaffirming your control and freedom from addiction.
[How to Proceed]
Let me share an effective exercise, adapted from the Rational Recovery book, that could help you end your porn and masturbation addiction right now.
Start by observing your thoughts and feelings about watching porn or masturbating, both positive and negative. The thoughts and feelings that encourage continued use represent your Addictive Voice (AV), while those advocating for abstinence represent the real you.
When you learn to identify and understand your AV, it becomes an easily defeated foe causing you to indulge. All it craves is pleasure. The main tactic of the Beast is to seize control of the pronoun 'I'. It will try to convince you by saying things like "I want to watch porn" or "I need pornography ".
However, you can effectively counter this strategy. By simply adding a 't' and shifting the 'I' to 'It', you can remind yourself that these thoughts are not truly yours, but are the Beast's manipulations. So the sentences become, "It wants to watch porn" or "It needs pornography ".
By changing "I" to "It", you dissociate from the discomfort or distress. Yes, it's that simple, placing it squarely on the Beast instead of yourself. It's crucial to recognize that these feelings are the Beast's attempts to coerce you back into addiction.
Now, tell yourself, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again", and listen for any negative reactions – this is your AV responding. Conversely, if you think, "I will consume porn or masturbate whenever I please," any pleasant feelings that arise are also your AV asserting control.
This recognition technique dispels short-term desire, making abstinence effortless. Complete separation of 'you' from 'it' results in complete recovery and hope for a better life.
Picture the AVRT technique as a form of gardening. The Addictive Voice is the weed trying to overtake your garden and sapping nutrients from the other plants. Recognizing the weed for what it is and uprooting it preserves your garden's health. Similarly, identifying and acting against your Addictive Voice safeguards a healthy and fulfilling life free from addiction.
Shifting is another powerful technique to help you dissociate from the beast of addiction. The idea is to alternate between viewing your addiction from the perspective of the beast and your own.
When viewing addiction through the Beast's eyes, you visualize what it craves the most about the addictive behavior and imagine the associated pleasure for a few minutes. It will express sentiments like "I want this now!" or "Please give it to me!", and you may start to feel the beast getting excited, happy, or impatient.
Then, shift to your perspective and reflect on the pain and negative impact the addiction has on you and those around you. Allow yourself feelings of disgust. Let your own feelings now take over, and you will find that your Beast withdraws and you feel either neutral or put off. This back-and-forth process allows you to dissociate from the Beast.
Think of Shifting as toggling between two TV channels: one projects a seductive yet distorted image of addiction, while the other reveals the harsh reality of its damage.
The idea of the Big Plan in Rational Recovery is to make a personal commitment to lifelong abstinence from addiction. This commitment, for me, took the form of the decisive statement, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again". It involves pinpointing a day and an hour for your turning point. For me, that was a Sunday at 12am. This moment represents a clear and definitive end to your addictive behavior and the start of a new chapter in your life. You can decide to commit either immediately after going through this post or by specifying your day and hour. It's entirely your choice, and we'll discuss this in more depth later.
The Beast, despite its intimidating name, is in fact harmless. It may try to coerce, manipulate, and instill fear, but it is important to remember that it is powerless without your consent. It cannot force you to return to the addictive behavior; only you can make that decision. In fact, you are the main authority, the one in charge, and it's the Beast that fears you.
The Beast is aware of your power and control, and it's terrified of it. It knows that you can shatter its illusions in a snap, without any difficulty. You're the one who makes the call, not the Beast, and it fears your unyielding decision to quit the addiction forever.
Its tactics may often involve fear. It's like the Beast is pointing a gun at you, but the truth is, its gun is empty. It's just a bluff, an illusion. You know it, and the Beast knows it too. It's simply trying to maintain its influence by resorting to fear tactics, but you can see through its lies.
"Don't trust yourself in tempting situations...you're not strong enough yet." – The Beast's voice:
The Beast tries to maintain control by suggesting certain places, events, or people will trigger a relapse. You might hear it whisper, "You can't go to that event, you might relapse," or "Avoid that location, it's too risky." This is simply the Beast's tactic to keep a hold on you, aiming to make you believe you're not completely in control.
By simply recognizing it for what it is - a tactic of the Beast to undermine your confidence - you can dismiss these fear tactics and reaffirm your control.
The Beast within you is a cunning entity, ever ready to exploit your moments of doubt and vulnerability. It whispers falsehoods, instilling fear and shaking your confidence. But don't be swayed, for you have always held the reins. The Beast may inhabit a corner of your mind, but it lacks the power to control your actions.
Not convinced? Try this: Extend your finger in front of your eyes and move it, then ask the Beast to do the same. The Beast can't because it doesn't hold sway over your physical actions.
The truth is, you've never truly "failed" in your endeavor against addiction. You've always had the choice, and sometimes you've elected to surrender to the Beast's desires. But that doesn't equate to losing control. It merely shows you gave in, momentarily, to the Beast's whisperings.
Recovery from addiction isn't about becoming a superhero or uncovering the universe's hidden secrets. It's about realizing that we don't have control over every aspect of life. However, we do have control over our actions, our reactions, and how we choose to face life's unpredictable events.
Do you choose the path of self-discovery and freedom from addiction? Or do you prefer to remain confined by the restrictions that addiction imposes? Be cautious: the Beast may distort your perspective, asking, "Where are the benefits?" or suggesting, "You haven't gained anything," and even instigating impatience by incessantly asking, "How long until I see the benefits?"
But don't fall prey to these distortions. Escaping addiction isn't about immediate gain or fixing all your life's problems. Recovery isn't a magic solution; it's a step towards personal empowerment. It's about gaining freedom and unlocking your potential, not just as a person in recovery, but as an individual capable of resilience and authenticity.
Concentrate on the liberation that breaking free from addiction brings. Let's choose this path towards a life where addiction no longer controls us, allowing us to genuinely live and experience life to its fullest.
Engaging in this addiction is solely for pleasure and nothing more. Every other justification is a fabrication of the Beast. It's designed to make you believe that giving in to your addiction is the only route to happiness or relief when you're feeling depressed, bored, lonely, stressed, or miserable.
Speaking from personal experience, I used to think that I turned to pornography and masturbation because I was lonely, stressed, or had a rough day. I thought that because I spent my entire day working alone on a computer, my environment or lifestyle was to blame for my addiction. These were excuses, a way to avoid taking responsibility for my actions, guided by the Beast's narrative.
The key to recognizing the Beast is noticing that the conversation always bends towards indulgence in your addiction.
Imagine you're having a tough day, and you begin to feel down. Instead of recognizing this as a passing mood, the Beast seizes this opportunity. It will amplify your negative emotions by saying things like, "You're always unhappy, aren't you? You know what would make you feel better... just one quick session won't hurt." Or, "You're so lonely, this is unbearable. Just indulge, it's your only comfort." These harsh whispers are the Beast's attempts to deepen your feeling of depression and nudge you towards the addictive behavior. Depression doesn't create addiction; addiction does.
The Beast's goal? To make you feel so low that resorting to your addiction seems like the only way out. Conversely, when you're content and joyful, the Beast will persuade you to give in, arguing it will amplify your satisfaction. Just think about it. If you're living what you perceive as a perfect life, the Beast will still argue you could feel even better with pornography and masturbation. It's a never-ending, destructive cycle.
Desire, in its essence, is not a negative emotion; it's a natural human condition. It propels us toward achievement, drives creativity, and gives meaning to our experiences. It also plays a crucial role in our relationships and our sexuality. The key in overcoming addiction is not to extinguish desire altogether, but to discern between healthy desires and those manipulated by the Beast.
Imagine your desires as a beautiful, roaring river. It's full of life, movement, and potential. This river represents your natural, healthy desires - things like connecting with others, pursuing your hobbies, personal growth, and even your sexual desires. These are your desires, part of who you are.
Then, there's the Beast's desire - a poisonous stream trying to merge into your river, attempting to hijack your natural flow. This stream carries the pull of addiction, steering you away from your authentic path, manipulating your thoughts, and distorting your perceptions.
Recognize this poisonous stream and refuse to let it merge with your river. This is not about damming the entire river or stifling your desires, but about rejecting the poisonous stream that the Beast introduces. It's about retaining your authentic desires and letting them guide you.
Identify that any thought associated with the desire to indulge in the addiction is coming from the Beast. By doing so, you begin to differentiate between what you truly want and what the Beast wants. This understanding will empower you, helping you keep your river clean, vibrant, and true to its course.
In the whirlwind of addiction, it can be easy to confuse the Beast's desires with our own. I, too, was lost in this confusion. I believed I was drawn to endless layers of perversion, thinking that I was attracted to the limitless exploration of perversion. But deep down, this wasn't me, it was the Beast's influence, its relentless push for more and more. Upon reflection, I realized my true desire was much simpler and profoundly more meaningful: to love and be loved. To have a wife, to raise children together, to share in the mundane and the magical moments of life. That's my authentic desire, not the empty promises of temporary pleasure the Beast kept pushing. This profound clarity is a stark contrast to the Beast's corruption, a beacon that can guide you back to your true self.
The goal is not to eliminate desire, but to reclaim it, to keep it authentic and personal. Desire is a part of your humanity; it's the Beast's manipulation of it that leads to addiction.
The Beast might sometimes whisper, "It's okay to relapse. You'll do better next time." This is a shrewd strategy designed to maintain its hold on you by normalizing relapse as a part of the recovery journey. It uses these tactics to sow seeds of doubt in your mind, aiming to eventually lead you to relapse. Rational Recovery, however, views this differently: the key is making a definitive decision—your Big Plan—to abstain from the addictive behavior and sticking to it under any circumstances.
Human beings are perfectly capable of achieving perfection in certain aspects of life. Consider the professional athlete who plays a perfect game or the musician who delivers a flawless performance. They do so by making a firm commitment to their goal and adhering to it diligently, without allowing any room for mistakes.
Similarly, your recovery journey can be perfect too. Once you make your Big Plan to abstain from addictive behavior, you can stick to it perfectly, without any relapses. This is the ideal that Rational Recovery promotes—not "try, fail, and try again," but "decide and stick to your decision perfectly."
Your Beast wants you to believe that perfection is unachievable, as this gives it room to persuade you to relapse. But don't let it fool you. You have the power to make a perfect decision and stick to it.
Instead of pondering over this, consider a different question: 'For whom is it too painful or difficult?' Any discomfort or difficulty associated with ceasing the addiction stems from the Beast, not you. Observing the Beast's distress is a positive sign - it shows you're successfully dissociating from it.
Remember that humans can only fully experience one feeling at a time. When you start feeling discomfort from abstaining, it's crucial to recognize that this isn't your discomfort. It's the Beast that suffering. The Beast is protesting because it's not getting what it wants. This suffering isn't negative for you; in fact, it's a positive sign. It means you're successfully asserting control over your decisions, as the Beast's discomfort indicates that it's losing its influence over you.
Most importantly, remember: you are safe. You risk nothing by quitting this addiction. Every feeling of discomfort or fear is from the Beast, not you. Your well-being and safety are never in jeopardy by choosing to stop. By rejecting the Beast's influence and asserting your control, you reclaim your freedom from addiction.
While predicting your future actions may be impossible, you can certainly define what you would never do. Consider the activities that you find disturbing, unhealthy, and reprehensible - those that you would never engage in.
Now, add porn and masturbation addiction to that list. As you do this, pay attention to your Beast. It might try to concoct far-fetched scenarios that seem to justify succumbing to the addiction. Recognize these for what they are: desperate attempts by the Beast to manipulate your thoughts. By doing so, you can effectively disregard its interference and remain true to your values.
Relapse anxiety is a common pitfall many encounter on their NoFap journey. You may be confidently progressing, then suddenly a thought creeps in: "What if I relapse tomorrow?" This thought triggers anxiety, shaking your belief in your commitment.
From the Rational Recovery standpoint, relapse anxiety is the Beast's deceptive voice trying to manipulate you. It incites fear and uncertainty, making you feel as if relapse is imminent. The Beast attempts to shake your confidence and sense of control. But here's the truth: relapse anxiety is an illusion, a tactic used by the Beast to tighten its grip.
Combat this by distancing yourself from the Beast and recognizing that relapse anxiety is a deceptive tactic used by the Beast to instill fear and weaken your resolve. Remember, you risk nothing by quitting this addiction; you are safe. Any discomfort you experience stems from the Beast, not you.
Reiterate your Big Plan: "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." By affirming your decision and distancing yourself from the Beast's influence, you can dispel the anxiety and stay firmly on your path. Remember, you are in control, and you will always stay in control, the fears conjured by the Beast hold no sway over you.
The Beast's intrusion into your dreams should not be a source of fear. This isn't a situation that requires extensive concern, this is just a sign of the Beast's distress.
There are generally two types of dreams where the Beast tries to assert its influence. The first type are explicit sex dreams, designed to reignite the desires and cravings associated with your addiction. The second type are dreams where you see yourself relapsing, which can be distressing and seem all too real.
When your neocortex (the real you) goes to sleep, the Beast sees an opportunity to attack and tries to regain influence over you through these dreams. This is evidence that you are on the right track. Your progress towards your goal of freedom from addiction is causing this panicked response from the Beast.
Remember, no matter what happens in your dreams, you are in control in reality. These dreams are just dreams, and they do not have the power to make you do anything.
Experiencing discomfort or an aching in the testicles, often referred to as 'blue balls,' is something that some individuals might encounter during their decision to quit their porn and masturbation addiction. Similarly, you may also experience nocturnal emissions or 'wet dreams' during your journey to recovery.
These phenomena aren't signs of harm, danger, or relapse, but rather physical manifestations of your body adjusting to your firm decision to quit the addiction.
While your body is adapting to a new, healthier state, not reliant on constant sexual stimulation, the Beast might attempt to distort these occurrences into negative experiences. It might tell you that nocturnal emissions are relapses, causing unwarranted fear and anxiety. But remember, you're in control.
Consider these sensations and events as physical signs of your transformation, a testament to the changes happening within you. It's important to remember that not everyone experiences this, and even if you do, it's not something to be overly concerned about. These adjustments are something you are more than capable of handling. As your body adjusts to your new lifestyle, such events will likely decrease and eventually stop. Don't let the Beast use these natural bodily responses as a scare tactic.
In your journey of breaking free from addiction, you might be tempted to adopt a "gradual reduction" approach - cutting back little by little rather than quitting outright. This strategy, while seemingly logical, is often a ploy from the Beast, setting you up for failure.
During my own journey, for many months, I was enticed by the concept of gradually reducing my addictive behaviors. The approach felt less abrupt, seemingly offering a smoother transition. Even the Beast within me suggested compromises such as, "Let's start by indulging only in the afternoon," or "How about we limit it to weekends?".However, I discovered through experience that this gradual reduction strategy often creates more problems than it resolves. Let me tell you why.
Firstly, by not making a clean break, you're continually feeding the addiction, keeping the Beast alive and active. It's akin to trying to put out a fire while still pouring small amounts of gasoline on it - it keeps the flames going, never fully extinguishing the fire.
Secondly, when you set specific times or days for indulging, you're not freeing your mind from the addiction; instead, you're refocusing it. You find yourself constantly counting down the hours or days until your next 'allowed' session. This fixation lead to a persistent preoccupation with the addiction, turning the process into something torturous and counterproductive.
Lastly, even on the days where you've decided not to indulge, the Beast is still at work. It doesn't take breaks. It try to convince you to deviate from your plan, asserting things like, "You're going to do it in a couple of days anyway, so why not just do it today? Why wait?" This becomes a recurring battle with the Beast, undermining your resolve.
The gradual reduction method keeps the addiction in focus, maintains the Beast's influence, and undermines your resolve. It's far more effective to make a clean break and assert your decision to quit outright. Remember, you're not losing anything by quitting - you're freeing yourself from the Beast's control.
Why should you spend energy on counting days for an activity you've resolved never to engage in? The Beast excels at setting goals and then weaponizing them against us.
Here's how the Beast use day counting against you:
Making a big deal of milestones: The Beast lead you to focus excessively on reaching a certain number of days, weeks, or months. While milestones can be motivational, the Beast use them to create unnecessary stress and pressure, saying things like "What if you don't make it?" or "Imagine how bad it would feel to start over."
Justifying a lapse: "You've made it 100 days, you deserve a reward!" or "One slip after so many days won't hurt." The Beast use the number of days as an excuse to suggest that it would be "safe" or "earned" to indulge in the addictive behavior.
Creating a false sense of security: The Beast suggest that after a certain number of days without indulging in the addiction, you're "cured" and could safely return to the behavior without becoming addicted again.
Undermining early progress: In the initial stages, the Beast belittle the small number of days you've been free from the addiction, making statements like "You've only managed two days, you'll never make it a week."
Leveraging bad days: If you're having a tough day, the Beast say, "You're miserable even after 30 days clean. See, quitting doesn't make things better. Might as well go back."
Remember, these are all tricks of the Beast trying to manipulate you into returning to the addictive behavior. The Beast will use anything, including the count of days, to try to get what it wants. The best way to deal with this is to remain steadfast in your decision and continue dissociating from the Beast.
So, instead of getting trapped in the Beast's game of counting days, surrender this act to it. We can concentrate on the broader scope - liberating ourselves from the Beast's clutches, embracing enduring change, and regaining our freedom. Day counting becomes insignificant because it no longer illustrates our path. Our chosen journey is one where the Beast's urges hold no power, and our authentic liberation takes the limelight. Let the Beast obsess over counting days, while we commit to a life of emancipation and self-discovery.
Self-punishment is a common response to addiction, yet it often proves ineffective. This can take many forms, from physical discomfort to emotional torment. In my own battle against addiction, I tried various self-punishment strategies. On the physical side, I would resort to self-harm. Emotionally, I burdened myself with negative self-talk, depression, feelings of hopelessness, anger, sadness, and even thoughts of death. It's important to note, however, that these intense feelings of guilt and self-condemnation were amplified by the Beast. The Beast utilizes such negative emotions to paint addiction as the only respite, the only 'good thing' left in life. It is a manipulative trick to keep you chained to the addiction.
Yet, over time, these painful memories have faded, while the seductive pull of the addictive behavior has remained vivid in my mind. It's a compelling illustration of the human condition: we often forget pain and remember pleasure.
Consider individuals who struggle with drug addiction. They might end up in a hospital after an overdose, experiencing immense physical pain. But as time passes, the memory of this pain dissipates, while the allure of the drug, the pleasure it brought, remains clear and tempting. This imbalance often leads them back into the cycle of addiction.
This became evident to me during the last week leading up to my final decision to quit - my Big Plan. It was the most challenging week of my life; I was counting the days until my liberation. Now that I'm free, when I think back to that week, the Beast tries to rewrite the narrative, calling it the "best week of all time!"
This disparity between the memory of pain and pleasure underscores why self-punishment is an ineffective strategy for long-term addiction recovery. Rational Recovery offers a different approach. Rather than relying on the fleeting memory of pain, it focuses on recognizing and dissociating from the addictive voice—the Beast.
Let's clarify something: arguing with the Beast is futile. The Beast is single-minded, craving only the satisfaction of its addiction. Moreover, it's cunning, capable of playing both sides of an argument.
For instance, the Beast might implant thoughts such as, "You could indulge now, it's not a big deal." Then, to create confusion and feign agreement, it might echo that very idea, saying, "Yes, I could indulge now." It's essential to recognize that both these sentiments are from the Beast. It is a clear demonstration of how it can promote the idea of indulgence while also pretending to be 'you' to create an illusion of consent.
In the Rational Recovery technique, every thought or feeling associated with the indulgence in the addiction is identified as coming from the Beast, including its attempts to take possession of the pronoun "I".
You are the decision-maker here, you are in control. Your will is what truly matters, and the Beast must inevitably conform to your decisions.
Feeling urges, cravings, or hunger sensations is a natural part of the recovery journey. In fact, it's a positive sign, an indication that you are making progress. However, these feelings can turn into white-knuckling when you identify with the Beast's thoughts and feelings. When you start saying things like "I'm so horny" or "I need a relief ASAP," you're identifying with the beast voice. When you find yourself arguing with the Beast or doubting your decision to quit, you're in the grip of white-knuckling.
In my own journey to recovery, I experienced these urges, cravings, and sensations. But rather than identifying with them and turning them into a struggle, I recognized them as signs of the Beast's distress, not mine. It was the Beast who was desperate and frustrated, not me. This recognition made these moments not just bearable but even satisfying, as they signaled that I was on the right track in my recovery.
The power of these urges and cravings diminished with my Big Plan, my absolute decision to never indulge in the addictive behavior again. Even if you find yourself in a white-knuckling situation, remember that you can shift your perspective. Recognize that every thought encouraging the addictive behavior is coming from the Beast, and use the Recognition or Shifting techniques to help you dissociate from these thoughts and feelings. After that, reaffirm your Big Plan, stating firmly and clearly, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." This firm commitment to your Big Plan will dispel all doubt, releasing you from the grip of white-knuckling.
Taking a firm decision is a critical step in overcoming addiction, and this is what making a Big Plan entails. This plan is a complete commitment, devoid of room for negotiation or compromise. When you formulate a Big Plan, you're making a promise to yourself to never indulge in your addiction again, under any circumstances.
Choosing a specific day for your Big Plan can help add a sense of occasion and finality to your decision. For instance, I personally chose a Sunday at 12am. Your Beast will likely agree to this arrangement, looking forward to a "last hurrah."
But as you approach your chosen day to initiate your Big Plan, the Beast may start getting anxious. It may whisper, "I can't let this go!" or "Let's postpone the Big Plan, and enjoy this for now!" This is not your voice. It's the voice of the Beast, trying to make you delay your decision and panicking at the impending loss of its control.
Your declaration for the Big Plan could be: "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." This phrase embodies the essence of the Big Plan — a firm, unyielding decision that signifies your commitment to stay addiction-free.
In your journey to overcome addiction, the video I am about to share will be invaluable. It features Jack Trimpey, the founder of Rational Recovery, directly guiding you through the process of making a Big Plan. Although Trimpey focuses on alcohol and drug addiction in the video, his guidance applies to any addiction, including pornography and masturbation. Carefully absorb his words, understanding their relevance to your personal struggle.
watch this video, skip to 33:39 for the Big Plan section: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n2YH8RLd_4&list=PLazOJVze5_z3BdcDSF3uPtN8Vu9VDqVJl&index=3where
AVRT Demonstration (AVRT Live Vol 1-5) : https://www.youtube.com/@DeborahSpringborn/videos
submitted by IneverGiveUp01 to NoFap [link] [comments]
Imagine being trapped in a destructive cycle for eight long years, knowing you need to escape but feeling utterly powerless to do so. That was my reality. I'm a 26-year-old man who, from the tender age of 12, found himself caught in the relentless grip of pornography and masturbation addiction.
By 18, I was painfully aware of the damage it was causing and desperate to break free. I tried everything – NoFap, meditation, sports, cold showers, even punishing myself, but to no avail. It felt like my addiction was an unshakeable opponent. But then, something changed. I discovered a strategy that changed my life. If you're struggling, I want to share this with you...
Caught in the grip of this addiction, I would spend an average of seven hours per day, even peaking at thirteen hours sometimes. The toll of this habit was heavy, affecting my personal, professional, and social life severely. Yet everything changed when I discovered Jack Trimpey's Rational Recovery method.
While his book provided me with crucial insights, it was his comprehensive AVRT Demonstration, where Trimpey guided an alcohol addict towards permanent abstinence, that truly filled the missing pieces in my fight against addiction. The Rational Recovery method fundamentally shifted my perspective towards addiction, helping me to recognize and silence the voice of my brain (the Beast) pushing me to consume. Today, I want to share my experience, hoping it could be an effective solution for many of you. You can access the entire demonstration at the end in the 'Useful Resources' section.
Understanding Addiction and Navigating this Guide
Let's talk about what addiction really is. Addiction isn't about the behavior itself, but rather the desire to escape pain and seek a better life. It is marked by ambivalence, a feeling of being torn between two minds. Overcoming addiction involves breaking free from the grip of pleasure and reclaiming control over oneself.
Before I delve into how I applied the Rational Recovery method and the results I got, I want to pose a simple but powerful question: If I placed a big red button in front of you that, when pressed, would instantly eradicate your addiction, would you press it?
If your answer is 'yes', then you have all the reasons you need to quit. I've been where you are now, writing pages upon pages of reasons to stop, yet relapsing despite knowing how harmful it was. It's important to recognize when a pattern becomes harmful, it's time to stop.
As you explore this guide, remember the importance of keeping an open mind. Let's borrow some wisdom from Mark Twain, who once said, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” It's a nod to the importance of being receptive to new ideas and methods. This guide may offer a different approach, but embracing it might bring about the change you're seeking.
What is AVRT?
AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique) is a transformative strategy that I've found invaluable in my journey to overcoming addiction. This technique helps you recognize and differentiate yourself from the 'addictive voice', the part of your primitive brain structure that fuels your addiction.
Think of AVRT as your personal defense mechanism that works under any circumstance, regardless of your emotional state – be it sadness, anger,boredom, loneliness, or stress. The aim here isn't to suppress these emotions, but rather to stay in control of your actions, no matter what you're feeling.
The 'addictive voice' – which we'll call the 'beast' – is a sneaky internal saboteur. It's the part of you that wants to continue with the harmful habit, despite you consciously knowing it's not beneficial. AVRT is about learning to separate this beast from your own true will, thus empowering you to reclaim your life.
The power of AVRT lies in this distinction between you and the beast. Once you master this technique, you'll learn to reject the rationalizations and temptations that originate from the beast. The dissociation from the beast is what makes it possible to make a firm, irrevocable commitment to quit your addiction. By not identifying with the beast, you can prevent yourself from suffering commonly associated with resisting addiction.
In essence, AVRT isn't about fighting or resisting; it's about recognizing, dissociating, and reclaiming control of your life.
What is the "beast"?
The "beast" is a term coined by the Rational Recovery method to denote the part of your brain pushing you towards your addiction. We call it the Beast because, like a wild, uncontrollable animal, it cares about nothing but fulfilling its need. It is a cunning inner voice, whispering that you need to engage in porn and masturbation to feel satisfied, relieved, or happy. This voice, often referred to as the Addictive Voice (AV), can be quite deceptive. It might paint you a picture of an enticing scene, produce alluring sounds, offer a moment of relief, or even present a false promise of control—"Just be more careful next time."
This beast manipulates you with excuses, deceptive emotions, and outright lies to make you succumb to your addiction. But let's make one thing clear: the beast is not your friend. It's your worst enemy. It's a parasitic entity that has latched onto your life, thriving on your addictive behavior. Like every living thing, it fears its end, and that end comes when you stop feeding the addiction. It has no regard for your well-being, your relationships, your life goals, or your health. Only its survival matters.
As you read through this guide, it's crucial to remain aware of the Beast's interference. Remember, the Beast manifests as a voice in your head or as an emotion, pushing you towards addictive thoughts and actions. You might experience feelings of resistance, discomfort, anger, fear, anxiety, or even a cringe reaction. These are the Beast's attempts to disrupt your progress.
While the Beast can attempt to manipulate your thoughts and emotions, it does not and cannot control your actions. It's your survival instincts that the Beast taps into, but your ability to make decisions, to govern your actions, thoughts, and emotions is uniquely yours.
The Beast may present itself in thoughts like, "This is too difficult to understand," "This won't work for me," or "I'm an exception to this method." Understand that these thoughts are not your own, but the Beast's desperate attempts to maintain control.
In its relentless quest for satisfaction, the beast views everything, including you, as expendable. It's the embodiment of your addiction, caring for nothing but its next fix. It's deaf to reason, blind to consequences, and immune to remorse.
If this description resonates with you, don't panic. You're not 'sick.' It's merely an error of association made by your body - an error in the script, so to speak. It mistakenly believes that this addictive behavior is as vital for your survival as breathing or eating.
Take these moments of resistance as signs that you are on the right track. You're threatening the Beast's existence, and it's trying to fight back. Recognize these voices for what they are, continue moving forward, and know that each step brings you closer to reaffirming your control and freedom from addiction.
[How to Proceed]
Recognition Technique
Let me share an effective exercise, adapted from the Rational Recovery book, that could help you end your porn and masturbation addiction right now.
Start by observing your thoughts and feelings about watching porn or masturbating, both positive and negative. The thoughts and feelings that encourage continued use represent your Addictive Voice (AV), while those advocating for abstinence represent the real you.
When you learn to identify and understand your AV, it becomes an easily defeated foe causing you to indulge. All it craves is pleasure. The main tactic of the Beast is to seize control of the pronoun 'I'. It will try to convince you by saying things like "I want to watch porn" or "I need pornography ".
However, you can effectively counter this strategy. By simply adding a 't' and shifting the 'I' to 'It', you can remind yourself that these thoughts are not truly yours, but are the Beast's manipulations. So the sentences become, "It wants to watch porn" or "It needs pornography ".
By changing "I" to "It", you dissociate from the discomfort or distress. Yes, it's that simple, placing it squarely on the Beast instead of yourself. It's crucial to recognize that these feelings are the Beast's attempts to coerce you back into addiction.
Now, tell yourself, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again", and listen for any negative reactions – this is your AV responding. Conversely, if you think, "I will consume porn or masturbate whenever I please," any pleasant feelings that arise are also your AV asserting control.
This recognition technique dispels short-term desire, making abstinence effortless. Complete separation of 'you' from 'it' results in complete recovery and hope for a better life.
Picture the AVRT technique as a form of gardening. The Addictive Voice is the weed trying to overtake your garden and sapping nutrients from the other plants. Recognizing the weed for what it is and uprooting it preserves your garden's health. Similarly, identifying and acting against your Addictive Voice safeguards a healthy and fulfilling life free from addiction.
Shifting Technique
Shifting is another powerful technique to help you dissociate from the beast of addiction. The idea is to alternate between viewing your addiction from the perspective of the beast and your own.
When viewing addiction through the Beast's eyes, you visualize what it craves the most about the addictive behavior and imagine the associated pleasure for a few minutes. It will express sentiments like "I want this now!" or "Please give it to me!", and you may start to feel the beast getting excited, happy, or impatient.
Then, shift to your perspective and reflect on the pain and negative impact the addiction has on you and those around you. Allow yourself feelings of disgust. Let your own feelings now take over, and you will find that your Beast withdraws and you feel either neutral or put off. This back-and-forth process allows you to dissociate from the Beast.
Think of Shifting as toggling between two TV channels: one projects a seductive yet distorted image of addiction, while the other reveals the harsh reality of its damage.
Introducing the "Big Plan"
The idea of the Big Plan in Rational Recovery is to make a personal commitment to lifelong abstinence from addiction. This commitment, for me, took the form of the decisive statement, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again". It involves pinpointing a day and an hour for your turning point. For me, that was a Sunday at 12am. This moment represents a clear and definitive end to your addictive behavior and the start of a new chapter in your life. You can decide to commit either immediately after going through this post or by specifying your day and hour. It's entirely your choice, and we'll discuss this in more depth later.
Your Power Over the Beast
The Beast, despite its intimidating name, is in fact harmless. It may try to coerce, manipulate, and instill fear, but it is important to remember that it is powerless without your consent. It cannot force you to return to the addictive behavior; only you can make that decision. In fact, you are the main authority, the one in charge, and it's the Beast that fears you.
The Beast is aware of your power and control, and it's terrified of it. It knows that you can shatter its illusions in a snap, without any difficulty. You're the one who makes the call, not the Beast, and it fears your unyielding decision to quit the addiction forever.
Its tactics may often involve fear. It's like the Beast is pointing a gun at you, but the truth is, its gun is empty. It's just a bluff, an illusion. You know it, and the Beast knows it too. It's simply trying to maintain its influence by resorting to fear tactics, but you can see through its lies.
"Don't trust yourself in tempting situations...you're not strong enough yet." – The Beast's voice:
The Beast tries to maintain control by suggesting certain places, events, or people will trigger a relapse. You might hear it whisper, "You can't go to that event, you might relapse," or "Avoid that location, it's too risky." This is simply the Beast's tactic to keep a hold on you, aiming to make you believe you're not completely in control.
By simply recognizing it for what it is - a tactic of the Beast to undermine your confidence - you can dismiss these fear tactics and reaffirm your control.
What if I Lose Control?
The Beast within you is a cunning entity, ever ready to exploit your moments of doubt and vulnerability. It whispers falsehoods, instilling fear and shaking your confidence. But don't be swayed, for you have always held the reins. The Beast may inhabit a corner of your mind, but it lacks the power to control your actions.
Not convinced? Try this: Extend your finger in front of your eyes and move it, then ask the Beast to do the same. The Beast can't because it doesn't hold sway over your physical actions.
The truth is, you've never truly "failed" in your endeavor against addiction. You've always had the choice, and sometimes you've elected to surrender to the Beast's desires. But that doesn't equate to losing control. It merely shows you gave in, momentarily, to the Beast's whisperings.
Expectations
Recovery from addiction isn't about becoming a superhero or uncovering the universe's hidden secrets. It's about realizing that we don't have control over every aspect of life. However, we do have control over our actions, our reactions, and how we choose to face life's unpredictable events.
Do you choose the path of self-discovery and freedom from addiction? Or do you prefer to remain confined by the restrictions that addiction imposes? Be cautious: the Beast may distort your perspective, asking, "Where are the benefits?" or suggesting, "You haven't gained anything," and even instigating impatience by incessantly asking, "How long until I see the benefits?"
But don't fall prey to these distortions. Escaping addiction isn't about immediate gain or fixing all your life's problems. Recovery isn't a magic solution; it's a step towards personal empowerment. It's about gaining freedom and unlocking your potential, not just as a person in recovery, but as an individual capable of resilience and authenticity.
Concentrate on the liberation that breaking free from addiction brings. Let's choose this path towards a life where addiction no longer controls us, allowing us to genuinely live and experience life to its fullest.
Understanding the Real Reason You're Engaging in This
Engaging in this addiction is solely for pleasure and nothing more. Every other justification is a fabrication of the Beast. It's designed to make you believe that giving in to your addiction is the only route to happiness or relief when you're feeling depressed, bored, lonely, stressed, or miserable.
Speaking from personal experience, I used to think that I turned to pornography and masturbation because I was lonely, stressed, or had a rough day. I thought that because I spent my entire day working alone on a computer, my environment or lifestyle was to blame for my addiction. These were excuses, a way to avoid taking responsibility for my actions, guided by the Beast's narrative.
The key to recognizing the Beast is noticing that the conversation always bends towards indulgence in your addiction.
Imagine you're having a tough day, and you begin to feel down. Instead of recognizing this as a passing mood, the Beast seizes this opportunity. It will amplify your negative emotions by saying things like, "You're always unhappy, aren't you? You know what would make you feel better... just one quick session won't hurt." Or, "You're so lonely, this is unbearable. Just indulge, it's your only comfort." These harsh whispers are the Beast's attempts to deepen your feeling of depression and nudge you towards the addictive behavior. Depression doesn't create addiction; addiction does.
The Beast's goal? To make you feel so low that resorting to your addiction seems like the only way out. Conversely, when you're content and joyful, the Beast will persuade you to give in, arguing it will amplify your satisfaction. Just think about it. If you're living what you perceive as a perfect life, the Beast will still argue you could feel even better with pornography and masturbation. It's a never-ending, destructive cycle.
Understanding and Separating Desire
Desire, in its essence, is not a negative emotion; it's a natural human condition. It propels us toward achievement, drives creativity, and gives meaning to our experiences. It also plays a crucial role in our relationships and our sexuality. The key in overcoming addiction is not to extinguish desire altogether, but to discern between healthy desires and those manipulated by the Beast.
Imagine your desires as a beautiful, roaring river. It's full of life, movement, and potential. This river represents your natural, healthy desires - things like connecting with others, pursuing your hobbies, personal growth, and even your sexual desires. These are your desires, part of who you are.
Then, there's the Beast's desire - a poisonous stream trying to merge into your river, attempting to hijack your natural flow. This stream carries the pull of addiction, steering you away from your authentic path, manipulating your thoughts, and distorting your perceptions.
Recognize this poisonous stream and refuse to let it merge with your river. This is not about damming the entire river or stifling your desires, but about rejecting the poisonous stream that the Beast introduces. It's about retaining your authentic desires and letting them guide you.
Identify that any thought associated with the desire to indulge in the addiction is coming from the Beast. By doing so, you begin to differentiate between what you truly want and what the Beast wants. This understanding will empower you, helping you keep your river clean, vibrant, and true to its course.
In the whirlwind of addiction, it can be easy to confuse the Beast's desires with our own. I, too, was lost in this confusion. I believed I was drawn to endless layers of perversion, thinking that I was attracted to the limitless exploration of perversion. But deep down, this wasn't me, it was the Beast's influence, its relentless push for more and more. Upon reflection, I realized my true desire was much simpler and profoundly more meaningful: to love and be loved. To have a wife, to raise children together, to share in the mundane and the magical moments of life. That's my authentic desire, not the empty promises of temporary pleasure the Beast kept pushing. This profound clarity is a stark contrast to the Beast's corruption, a beacon that can guide you back to your true self.
The goal is not to eliminate desire, but to reclaim it, to keep it authentic and personal. Desire is a part of your humanity; it's the Beast's manipulation of it that leads to addiction.
The Myth of Relapse and the Power of Perfection.
The Beast might sometimes whisper, "It's okay to relapse. You'll do better next time." This is a shrewd strategy designed to maintain its hold on you by normalizing relapse as a part of the recovery journey. It uses these tactics to sow seeds of doubt in your mind, aiming to eventually lead you to relapse. Rational Recovery, however, views this differently: the key is making a definitive decision—your Big Plan—to abstain from the addictive behavior and sticking to it under any circumstances.
Human beings are perfectly capable of achieving perfection in certain aspects of life. Consider the professional athlete who plays a perfect game or the musician who delivers a flawless performance. They do so by making a firm commitment to their goal and adhering to it diligently, without allowing any room for mistakes.
Similarly, your recovery journey can be perfect too. Once you make your Big Plan to abstain from addictive behavior, you can stick to it perfectly, without any relapses. This is the ideal that Rational Recovery promotes—not "try, fail, and try again," but "decide and stick to your decision perfectly."
Your Beast wants you to believe that perfection is unachievable, as this gives it room to persuade you to relapse. But don't let it fool you. You have the power to make a perfect decision and stick to it.
What if it's too Difficult or Painful?
Instead of pondering over this, consider a different question: 'For whom is it too painful or difficult?' Any discomfort or difficulty associated with ceasing the addiction stems from the Beast, not you. Observing the Beast's distress is a positive sign - it shows you're successfully dissociating from it.
Remember that humans can only fully experience one feeling at a time. When you start feeling discomfort from abstaining, it's crucial to recognize that this isn't your discomfort. It's the Beast that suffering. The Beast is protesting because it's not getting what it wants. This suffering isn't negative for you; in fact, it's a positive sign. It means you're successfully asserting control over your decisions, as the Beast's discomfort indicates that it's losing its influence over you.
Most importantly, remember: you are safe. You risk nothing by quitting this addiction. Every feeling of discomfort or fear is from the Beast, not you. Your well-being and safety are never in jeopardy by choosing to stop. By rejecting the Beast's influence and asserting your control, you reclaim your freedom from addiction.
How would I know what I will do in the future?
While predicting your future actions may be impossible, you can certainly define what you would never do. Consider the activities that you find disturbing, unhealthy, and reprehensible - those that you would never engage in.
Now, add porn and masturbation addiction to that list. As you do this, pay attention to your Beast. It might try to concoct far-fetched scenarios that seem to justify succumbing to the addiction. Recognize these for what they are: desperate attempts by the Beast to manipulate your thoughts. By doing so, you can effectively disregard its interference and remain true to your values.
I'm scared to relapse, what should I do?
Relapse anxiety is a common pitfall many encounter on their NoFap journey. You may be confidently progressing, then suddenly a thought creeps in: "What if I relapse tomorrow?" This thought triggers anxiety, shaking your belief in your commitment.
From the Rational Recovery standpoint, relapse anxiety is the Beast's deceptive voice trying to manipulate you. It incites fear and uncertainty, making you feel as if relapse is imminent. The Beast attempts to shake your confidence and sense of control. But here's the truth: relapse anxiety is an illusion, a tactic used by the Beast to tighten its grip.
Combat this by distancing yourself from the Beast and recognizing that relapse anxiety is a deceptive tactic used by the Beast to instill fear and weaken your resolve. Remember, you risk nothing by quitting this addiction; you are safe. Any discomfort you experience stems from the Beast, not you.
Reiterate your Big Plan: "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." By affirming your decision and distancing yourself from the Beast's influence, you can dispel the anxiety and stay firmly on your path. Remember, you are in control, and you will always stay in control, the fears conjured by the Beast hold no sway over you.
The Beast's Attack on the Dreamscape
The Beast's intrusion into your dreams should not be a source of fear. This isn't a situation that requires extensive concern, this is just a sign of the Beast's distress.
There are generally two types of dreams where the Beast tries to assert its influence. The first type are explicit sex dreams, designed to reignite the desires and cravings associated with your addiction. The second type are dreams where you see yourself relapsing, which can be distressing and seem all too real.
When your neocortex (the real you) goes to sleep, the Beast sees an opportunity to attack and tries to regain influence over you through these dreams. This is evidence that you are on the right track. Your progress towards your goal of freedom from addiction is causing this panicked response from the Beast.
Remember, no matter what happens in your dreams, you are in control in reality. These dreams are just dreams, and they do not have the power to make you do anything.
Understanding 'Blue Balls' and Nocturnal Emissions in Recovery
Experiencing discomfort or an aching in the testicles, often referred to as 'blue balls,' is something that some individuals might encounter during their decision to quit their porn and masturbation addiction. Similarly, you may also experience nocturnal emissions or 'wet dreams' during your journey to recovery.
These phenomena aren't signs of harm, danger, or relapse, but rather physical manifestations of your body adjusting to your firm decision to quit the addiction.
While your body is adapting to a new, healthier state, not reliant on constant sexual stimulation, the Beast might attempt to distort these occurrences into negative experiences. It might tell you that nocturnal emissions are relapses, causing unwarranted fear and anxiety. But remember, you're in control.
Consider these sensations and events as physical signs of your transformation, a testament to the changes happening within you. It's important to remember that not everyone experiences this, and even if you do, it's not something to be overly concerned about. These adjustments are something you are more than capable of handling. As your body adjusts to your new lifestyle, such events will likely decrease and eventually stop. Don't let the Beast use these natural bodily responses as a scare tactic.
Gradual Reduction: A Beast's Strategy
In your journey of breaking free from addiction, you might be tempted to adopt a "gradual reduction" approach - cutting back little by little rather than quitting outright. This strategy, while seemingly logical, is often a ploy from the Beast, setting you up for failure.
During my own journey, for many months, I was enticed by the concept of gradually reducing my addictive behaviors. The approach felt less abrupt, seemingly offering a smoother transition. Even the Beast within me suggested compromises such as, "Let's start by indulging only in the afternoon," or "How about we limit it to weekends?".However, I discovered through experience that this gradual reduction strategy often creates more problems than it resolves. Let me tell you why.
Firstly, by not making a clean break, you're continually feeding the addiction, keeping the Beast alive and active. It's akin to trying to put out a fire while still pouring small amounts of gasoline on it - it keeps the flames going, never fully extinguishing the fire.
Secondly, when you set specific times or days for indulging, you're not freeing your mind from the addiction; instead, you're refocusing it. You find yourself constantly counting down the hours or days until your next 'allowed' session. This fixation lead to a persistent preoccupation with the addiction, turning the process into something torturous and counterproductive.
Lastly, even on the days where you've decided not to indulge, the Beast is still at work. It doesn't take breaks. It try to convince you to deviate from your plan, asserting things like, "You're going to do it in a couple of days anyway, so why not just do it today? Why wait?" This becomes a recurring battle with the Beast, undermining your resolve.
The gradual reduction method keeps the addiction in focus, maintains the Beast's influence, and undermines your resolve. It's far more effective to make a clean break and assert your decision to quit outright. Remember, you're not losing anything by quitting - you're freeing yourself from the Beast's control.
Counting Days
Why should you spend energy on counting days for an activity you've resolved never to engage in? The Beast excels at setting goals and then weaponizing them against us.
Here's how the Beast use day counting against you:
Making a big deal of milestones: The Beast lead you to focus excessively on reaching a certain number of days, weeks, or months. While milestones can be motivational, the Beast use them to create unnecessary stress and pressure, saying things like "What if you don't make it?" or "Imagine how bad it would feel to start over."
Justifying a lapse: "You've made it 100 days, you deserve a reward!" or "One slip after so many days won't hurt." The Beast use the number of days as an excuse to suggest that it would be "safe" or "earned" to indulge in the addictive behavior.
Creating a false sense of security: The Beast suggest that after a certain number of days without indulging in the addiction, you're "cured" and could safely return to the behavior without becoming addicted again.
Undermining early progress: In the initial stages, the Beast belittle the small number of days you've been free from the addiction, making statements like "You've only managed two days, you'll never make it a week."
Leveraging bad days: If you're having a tough day, the Beast say, "You're miserable even after 30 days clean. See, quitting doesn't make things better. Might as well go back."
Remember, these are all tricks of the Beast trying to manipulate you into returning to the addictive behavior. The Beast will use anything, including the count of days, to try to get what it wants. The best way to deal with this is to remain steadfast in your decision and continue dissociating from the Beast.
So, instead of getting trapped in the Beast's game of counting days, surrender this act to it. We can concentrate on the broader scope - liberating ourselves from the Beast's clutches, embracing enduring change, and regaining our freedom. Day counting becomes insignificant because it no longer illustrates our path. Our chosen journey is one where the Beast's urges hold no power, and our authentic liberation takes the limelight. Let the Beast obsess over counting days, while we commit to a life of emancipation and self-discovery.
Why Punishment Doesn't Work
Self-punishment is a common response to addiction, yet it often proves ineffective. This can take many forms, from physical discomfort to emotional torment. In my own battle against addiction, I tried various self-punishment strategies. On the physical side, I would resort to self-harm. Emotionally, I burdened myself with negative self-talk, depression, feelings of hopelessness, anger, sadness, and even thoughts of death. It's important to note, however, that these intense feelings of guilt and self-condemnation were amplified by the Beast. The Beast utilizes such negative emotions to paint addiction as the only respite, the only 'good thing' left in life. It is a manipulative trick to keep you chained to the addiction.
Yet, over time, these painful memories have faded, while the seductive pull of the addictive behavior has remained vivid in my mind. It's a compelling illustration of the human condition: we often forget pain and remember pleasure.
Consider individuals who struggle with drug addiction. They might end up in a hospital after an overdose, experiencing immense physical pain. But as time passes, the memory of this pain dissipates, while the allure of the drug, the pleasure it brought, remains clear and tempting. This imbalance often leads them back into the cycle of addiction.
This became evident to me during the last week leading up to my final decision to quit - my Big Plan. It was the most challenging week of my life; I was counting the days until my liberation. Now that I'm free, when I think back to that week, the Beast tries to rewrite the narrative, calling it the "best week of all time!"
This disparity between the memory of pain and pleasure underscores why self-punishment is an ineffective strategy for long-term addiction recovery. Rational Recovery offers a different approach. Rather than relying on the fleeting memory of pain, it focuses on recognizing and dissociating from the addictive voice—the Beast.
Arguing with the beast
Let's clarify something: arguing with the Beast is futile. The Beast is single-minded, craving only the satisfaction of its addiction. Moreover, it's cunning, capable of playing both sides of an argument.
For instance, the Beast might implant thoughts such as, "You could indulge now, it's not a big deal." Then, to create confusion and feign agreement, it might echo that very idea, saying, "Yes, I could indulge now." It's essential to recognize that both these sentiments are from the Beast. It is a clear demonstration of how it can promote the idea of indulgence while also pretending to be 'you' to create an illusion of consent.
In the Rational Recovery technique, every thought or feeling associated with the indulgence in the addiction is identified as coming from the Beast, including its attempts to take possession of the pronoun "I".
You are the decision-maker here, you are in control. Your will is what truly matters, and the Beast must inevitably conform to your decisions.
Dealing with White-Knuckling and Intense Urges
Feeling urges, cravings, or hunger sensations is a natural part of the recovery journey. In fact, it's a positive sign, an indication that you are making progress. However, these feelings can turn into white-knuckling when you identify with the Beast's thoughts and feelings. When you start saying things like "I'm so horny" or "I need a relief ASAP," you're identifying with the beast voice. When you find yourself arguing with the Beast or doubting your decision to quit, you're in the grip of white-knuckling.
In my own journey to recovery, I experienced these urges, cravings, and sensations. But rather than identifying with them and turning them into a struggle, I recognized them as signs of the Beast's distress, not mine. It was the Beast who was desperate and frustrated, not me. This recognition made these moments not just bearable but even satisfying, as they signaled that I was on the right track in my recovery.
The power of these urges and cravings diminished with my Big Plan, my absolute decision to never indulge in the addictive behavior again. Even if you find yourself in a white-knuckling situation, remember that you can shift your perspective. Recognize that every thought encouraging the addictive behavior is coming from the Beast, and use the Recognition or Shifting techniques to help you dissociate from these thoughts and feelings. After that, reaffirm your Big Plan, stating firmly and clearly, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." This firm commitment to your Big Plan will dispel all doubt, releasing you from the grip of white-knuckling.
The Big Plan: Your Commitment to Freedom
Taking a firm decision is a critical step in overcoming addiction, and this is what making a Big Plan entails. This plan is a complete commitment, devoid of room for negotiation or compromise. When you formulate a Big Plan, you're making a promise to yourself to never indulge in your addiction again, under any circumstances.
Choosing a specific day for your Big Plan can help add a sense of occasion and finality to your decision. For instance, I personally chose a Sunday at 12am. Your Beast will likely agree to this arrangement, looking forward to a "last hurrah."
But as you approach your chosen day to initiate your Big Plan, the Beast may start getting anxious. It may whisper, "I can't let this go!" or "Let's postpone the Big Plan, and enjoy this for now!" This is not your voice. It's the voice of the Beast, trying to make you delay your decision and panicking at the impending loss of its control.
Your declaration for the Big Plan could be: "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." This phrase embodies the essence of the Big Plan — a firm, unyielding decision that signifies your commitment to stay addiction-free.
In your journey to overcome addiction, the video I am about to share will be invaluable. It features Jack Trimpey, the founder of Rational Recovery, directly guiding you through the process of making a Big Plan. Although Trimpey focuses on alcohol and drug addiction in the video, his guidance applies to any addiction, including pornography and masturbation. Carefully absorb his words, understanding their relevance to your personal struggle.
watch this video, skip to 33:39 for the Big Plan section: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n2YH8RLd_4&list=PLazOJVze5_z3BdcDSF3uPtN8Vu9VDqVJl&index=3where
Conclusion
I've spent a month compiling my experiences and sharing the tools that aided me on my journey. You are free to ask questions while I'm around, but please note that I'm not a regular Reddit user and won't be able to answer indefinitely. For those interested in Rational Recovery, all the information you need is in the "Useful Resources" section. If you found this post helpful, please consider upvoting or sharing it with friends who might benefit from it. Always remember to dissociate from the Beast and stand firm in your Big Plan. Holding unwavering trust in your decision is the key to defeating the Beast. May you embrace your journey to freedom and experience the liberation you've been longing for. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.Useful Resources
Rational Recovery Book : https://www.amazon.fRational-Recovery-Cure-Substance-Addiction/dp/0671528580/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=rational+recovery&sr=8-1AVRT Demonstration (AVRT Live Vol 1-5) : https://www.youtube.com/@DeborahSpringborn/videos
2023.06.04 10:29 _Triple_ [STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 50.000$+ INVENTORY. M9 Fade, M4 Poseidon, BFK Freehand, Crimson Kimono, Nomad Fade, Skeleton, Kara Lore, Bayo Autotronic, AWP Fade, Kara Damas, BFK Ultra, Kara Freehand, Kara Bright, M9 Damas, Omega, Tiger Strike, Flip MF, Bayo Tiger, Deagle Blaze, Talon & More
Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory
Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.
All Buyouts are listed in cash value.
KNIVES
★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500
★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822
★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616
⎯★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300
★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050
★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629
★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326
★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233
⎯★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110
★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840
★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784
★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759
⎯★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751
⎯★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156
★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544
★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318
⎯★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646
★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574
★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552
★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257
★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255
★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287
⎯★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461
★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436
★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353
★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212
★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123
★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375
★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363
★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269
★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192
★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159
★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126
⎯★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616
★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412
★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227
⎯★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214
★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192
★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105
⎯★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216
★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198
★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111
⎯★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368
★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228
★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201
★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108
★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105
★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99
★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85
⎯★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700
★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223
★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203
★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191
★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138
★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111
⎯★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146
★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168
⎯★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476
★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375
⎯★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137
★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608
★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305
★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97
GLOVES
★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204
★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
⎯★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215
★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140
★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137
★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75
⎯★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359
★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229
★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77
★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48
⎯★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739
★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733
★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292
⎯★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212
★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160
★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101
⎯★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59
⎯★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62
WEAPONS
AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130
AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70
AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72
⎯AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP Duality FN, B/O: $81
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive FT, B/O: $55
⎯Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $623
Desert Eagle Emerald Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $241
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Printstream FT, B/O: $54
⎯M4A1-S Blue Phosphor FN, B/O: $434
StatTrak™ M4A1-S Bright Water MW, B/O: $55
⎯M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1465
M4A4 Asiimov BS, B/O: $55
M4A4 Hellfire MW, B/O: $50
⎯USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $72
USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69
StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $139
⎯AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $234
P90 Run and Hide FT, B/O: $147
Five-SeveN Candy Apple FN, B/O: $61
Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory
Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.
Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.
Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.
2023.06.04 08:35 InkDiamond [PI] They’d scrounged up what little they had, but neither knew what to do next. They had never been in a situation like this before—never attended such an event. What the Archives called: a par-ty
--
--
Marc gave it another go. He tipped his hand forward. The silver patty rolled off him, dropping toward the cave floor.
It stopped short of hitting the path. The shiny disc halted in the air, dangling at the end of a thin white line.
He watched the small wheel spin. It might have been the most fun he’d had all year. Even more fun than that mud puddle he’d found the other day.
How does it keep going? Marc thought to himself. And without any power??
Marc assumed the disc was some sort of technological marvel from the past. But the Archives had little information on it, only a name. It was called a “yo-yo.”
They all must have had one of these, he posited.
As Marc walked down the stone ramp, he cast the yo-yo again. The toy’s quiet spin was the only sound in the cavern. The soft hiss of string versus metal reverberated gently in the spacious cave.
Marc focused all his attention on the little gadget. He was determined to enjoy every last minute of the universe, no matter what. And that evening, the yo-yo more than accomplished that goal.
The shimmering yo-yo, however, couldn’t prevent the world around him from crumbling. The ground started to rumble. The rest of the cave shook with it. The underground city shook as the plasma storm above battered it—and the rest of the planet.
Marc’s home broke down. Cracks appeared in the ceiling. Waterfalls of dust poured out of them. It wouldn't be long before the whole thing collapsed. That is, if the plasma storm didn’t swallow it whole first.
Whatever.
A few clumps of dirt wouldn’t ruin Marc’s fun. He pulled the hood of his shawl over his head and extended his ragged sleeves toward each hand. His clothes shielded him from the falling dust; the gritty particles made themselves at home on his messy shawl. And Marc was free to perfect his newest trick.
The rumbling died down though as Marc descended the ramp. The yo-yo string didn’t wobble so much, and he didn't have to watch his steps as carefully. He just hoped the quaking wouldn’t come back to ruin his event.
Speaking of which, Marc glanced ahead toward his destination below. What he saw rocked him even harder than the earthquake had.
What in the sinkpits…?
Marc stopped in his tracks. He even started to reach for his knife. All because he’d detected a speck of something suspicious. Something he didn't see much of every day: color.
Showy landmarks weren’t something endemic to his home. The Outpost was more of a dusty gray-and-brown sort of place. The walls were sandstone. The floor was sandstone. And the ceiling? …Granite?
No, sandstone. All under the faint glow of a string of depressed lightbulbs.
The intriguing blip in the gray-and-tan collage was farther up the path. Ahead of the ramp, on Level 8, Marc saw the same three steel doors he was used to seeing. The front doors of underground homes, lined up in a row, each closed into the cave wall.
However, there was something different about the third door. It looked… alive. Like it didn’t belong in a dreary place like the Outpost. But it was too far away to tell what exactly had been done to it.
Marc squinted at it suspiciously. The third door happened to be his destination. And now it was weird.
He considered waiting and observing the mutated door. A child of the Outpost, Marc had developed a healthy fear of the unusual.
These habits, along with his instincts, kept him safe. They’d specifically preserved him while the rest of humanity perished.
But he shrugged off the instinct to wait. Something new and “different” was ahead, and he wanted to see it.
But just as a precaution, it was time for his yo-yo’s last trick. He got in one final throw then placed the toy into his satchel. He dropped it on top of his arsenal of cables, wrenches, and screwdrivers.
And by the time he’d snapped the satchel shut, the long ramp had bottomed out. He’d made it to the next level.
To his left, the wall had been spray-painted. Scrawled-out black letters stood against the sandy background. They stated, “Now Level 8.”
Marc followed the sign. He stayed close to the wall, crossing to the stone pedestrian path. He passed one untouched steel door with a dusted-over mail slot in the wall beside it. Then he passed a second home—abandoned like the first. And finally, he arrived at his friend’s place and the mysterious blip on Level 8.
To his surprise, the steel door elicited a flush of emotion. His heart floated upward. And the portrait before him drew his focus in like an otherworldly beacon.
How did it get so…?
Marc pulled back his hood. The ground popped with the sandy grains he released.
He could hardly believe the difference. The door used to blend in with the others: another ridged steel face that spent most of its time rusting or collecting dirt.
But it was no longer muffled by the dust and dirt that had built up over the years.
Today, it sung. Paint streaks flew across its visage. They swirled and spiraled, forming stars and other shapes. Where previously gray and rust dominated, colors sprang forth—colors that Marc didn't even have the names for. They were many, and they were warm, like the evening sky just after sunset. Marc could hardly wrap his head around the entire image.
He swelled with gratitude.
Only you could have pulled this off. He thought of his friend, the painter. The one person in the colony who’d ever been any fun. The one other person in the colony who was left…
The artist had done the unthinkable. Foraging the garden below for something other than food. Spending work time measuring and concocting the perfect blends of paint. And then slathering their fingers across the giant door, until its old face was but a memory. And all that effort for only a single other person to appreciate.
Newly inspired, Marc searched for an unpainted space on the metal canvas. He found one and knocked on the door.
He took a step back and waited. The outside of the Outpost was lively. Excited wind rushed through the canyon.
By contrast, the Outpost itself was silent. If there was anyone left to say anything, they may have even called it “dead.”
Or nearly dead, anyway. The last morsel of it came to life as the door in front of Marc groaned.
It floated off the ground, inching upward. On the other side, Marc could hear a hand crank clicking away.
Ktch… ktch… ktch… ktch…
The corrugated door lifted, and the door rolled up. The tip of the artist’s painting started to slip from view.
Ktch… ktch… ktch… ktch…
Behind the door, chains reeled at a slow clip. The heavy curtain was halfway up. Marc could now see his best friend's lower half. Buff Lenorkian legs pumped back and forth with each crank.
The door unveiled even more of the owner. A torso in a metal suit appeared. Four ripped arms stretched out of it. They rotated, moving to the clicking beats of the door.
Ktch… ktch… ktch… ktch…
The door raised a few inches further, uncovering the bottom half of a cobalt blue face. Two rows of razor-sharp teeth smiled from ear to ear. A few inches more, and Marc could see the whole of the Lenorkian’s face.
Sid greeted Marc as the last of the door raised.
“Finally!” he said.
Marc didn’t get a chance to respond. His body lurched forward involuntarily. He slammed into Sid’s metal suit.
Crrrrrick!
The armor squealed as Sid’s upper two arms squeezed him tighter. The lower set of arms had reeled Marc in.
Marc hated hugs. Stupid mushy emotional wraparounds. But just this one final time, Marc returned the gesture. He squeezed Sid back.
“Happy Worlds’ End!” Sid said from the other side of the embrace.
“Yeah,” Marc replied, “Happy Worlds’ End.”
The two separated.
“Cool painting, by the way,” Marc said. He pointed at the rolled-up door. “I didn’t think you’d top the one in the garden.”
“You think so?” Sid sheepishly smiled. “Well I’ve had more time to practice since… you know.”
“Yeah, I get it,” Marc said. “Me too. That’s how I actually got you something.”
Marc swung his heavy satchel around. He rifled through it, squeezing through cables, knocking handles and parts out of the way. And then—ah.
He fished out a crumpled rag. Holding it in one hand, he began to gently unfold it.
“I found this a few days ago in the garden,” he said. The edges of the cloth fell. They revealed a small, glass object. It sparkled.
Marc continued, “I think it fits your style—I mean, I know it’s a little smudged and chipped but...”
He swirled the crystal trinket around. The cavern’s incandescent light flittered across its clear edges.
He touched it too, tracing the slender portion of it with his thumb. It was the neck of the crystal swan.
“It’s yours,” Marc said, offering up the bird.
Sid cupped two shovel-sized hands and accepted the gift.
“It’s beautiful…” he said, examining it. “I can’t believe anything like this could have survived this long.” He looked up at Marc and smiled, “Thank you so much. I just wish I had a little longer to could enjoy it.”
They chuckled lightly about their impending obliteration.
“Well, come on in,” Sid said. He extended both of his left arms. They gestured toward the cave interior. “We’ll finish off this universe how it started,” he said. He mashed his upper two fists together. “With a bang!”
“I hear that!” Marc nodded. He crossed over into Sid’s house.
As Marc passed Sid, a wave of discomfort hit him. Sid had switched out his usual t-shirt and jeans. He wore old armor instead. And the metal plating taunted Marc.
Marc’s next question came out more accusatory than curious.
“So… a Lenorkian throwback, huh?” he asked Sid.
Sid had just finished finding the perfect home for his swan. He left it on a shelf next to the front door.
He turned to face Marc. He hid his embarrassment behind a jagged smile.
“Oh!” he said. “Uhhh…” Three of Sid’s arms disappeared behind his back. The cone-shaped cuffs at the end of each wrist clanked against the back of his chest armor. The fourth arm nervously scratched his blue head. “I don’t know,” he said. “It's stupid, I guess. I can take it off… if you want.”
Marc didn’t want to address the topic head-on. He stopped in the cave’s entry. He pretended to admire the walls—as if he’d never seen sandstone before.
“No, leave it on,” he said. “You look… like a true Lenorkian.” He turn around and forced a smile.
It wasn’t enough.
“Okay, let’s get this out of the way,” Sid said. He marched up to Marc.
Sid took a deep breath before he spoke.
“Tonight's really important to me,” he continued. “This is the last impression anyone’s going to make on the universe. So I need you on board.” He continued staring down at Marc. “Can you do that? For me?”
Marc didn’t see what the big deal was. It was just a couple of best friends hanging out.
“Yeah, why not?” he shrugged. “End it the way it started.”
The exchange turned into awkward silence. Neither knew what to do next. They had never been in a situation like this before—never attended such an event. What the Archives called: a par-ty.
Sid shook off the figurative mask he’d been wearing—one that was uncharacteristically dour. His eyes lightened, and he bobbed his head knowingly.
“I went through the Archives to see how this works,” he said. He walked toward the long horizontal counter against the wall—the kitchen.
On the counter, chaos ran wild. Bowls and kitchenware spread across the surface. And the insides of his pots and pans resembled the dirty mouth of a garbage chute.
Marc wasn’t sure what to think. Was cleaning the host’s kitchen a staple of ancient parties?
Sid too seemed a bit confused. His next words came out robotically, as if he was practicing a new word he’d learned.
“’Can-I-offer-you-a-drink?’” Sid asked. He stood nervously in front of the counter.
Looking closer at it, three unusual objects stood apart from the kitchenware mess. It took Marc a while to remember what their outdated, bendy material was called.
Plastic. Three pink and plastic cups sat equidistant from one another.
“I got these from here,” Sid reached under the counter and pulled up some sort of transparent bag. Pink cups just liked the others were stacked on top of each other inside.
Sid packed the bag back under the counter.
“So?” he asked after he finished. He held all four hands together in anticipation. His smile may have looked like an industrial-grade rock shredder, but it was hard to resist his innocent blue face and big wide eyes.
Marc eyed the pink cups one last time.
“This better not kill me,” he said.
Sid wasted no time. He excitedly grabbed a cup and walked over to a large pot sitting on the counter.
Using a nearby ladle, he plunged into the vat. An unappetizing sloshing sound resulted. And Sid, as strong as he was, seemed to struggle with scooping out some of the mystery liquid. But in the end, he pulled back the ladle and unloaded an opaque, muddy liquid into the cup.
“It's a homeworld classic called fludge,” Sid said as he finished pouring.
He treaded over to his reluctant friend and handed off the plastic cup.
“Did you say ‘fludge’?” Marc asked. He swished the cup around cautiously. The earthy liquid hardly budged.
“Yeah, fludge! Us Lenorkians invented it. It’s kind of the only tasty thing we ever bothered to make.”
Marc sniffed it. It smelled… burnt? Maybe a little dusty, too? But he could have just been smelling the cave.
Sid left Marc alone with Marc’s questionable new assignment. He returned to the pot to pour himself a drink.
“Just try it!” he said.
Marc looked down again at the dark soup. It could kill him. Or maybe it wouldn't.
Either way, it was his last drink.
He took a timid sip and waited to be repulsed. The fludge trickled to the back of his tongue. As it hit, Marc’s eyes widened. But not with regret.
He swallowed.
“Now wait a minute…” he said. He smacked his lips together. Then he took another, larger sip.
This curious dark liquid had a unique taste to it. The taste was earthen—but unoffending. It also had a subtle undercurrent of sweetness to it, combined with a spicy kick. It was delicious.
“This might be the best drink in the entire Outpost!” Marc exclaimed.
Pure joy bloomed on Sid’s face. “See! I told you: the greatest thing we ever made.”
He held his own cup above his open jaws. The falling fludge was no match for the alien. He guzzled it down, licked his lips, and then went back for more.
As Sid fashioned himself another drink, Marc noticed something a tad unsettling. A third pink cup stared back at him. It prompted an uncomfortable thought, but he shoved the thought back down.
The Lenorkian carried back his second drink. Though this time, he took it in small, human-sized sips.
But he quickly reanimated. In the middle of a sip, Sid got a wild look in his eyes. His irises turned from their natural violet to scarlet. He yanked the cup from his face and swallowed.
“Argh, how did I forget?” he said. “I got music!”
Marc cut his sip short too. “No way. You got music?”
“I think so!”
Sid did an about face. He slammed the half-empty cup on the counter. Then he shuffled toward a giant metal column protruding from the far wall. Four ink-blue hands wrapped around the cover of the vent. And he went for it.
Sid struggled to pull off the cover of the vent at first. His armor ballooned around his biceps as his muscles bulged outward. Yet the cover wouldn't budge.
But it seemed like an important part of his evening plans. He scolded the stubborn vent, banging on its top.
“Oh, you’re gonna get it now!” he said. He latched onto the vent again.
This time, he put even more effort in. To the point where Marc sensed that Sid was losing a grip on his own body. Out of his forehead, two thumb-sized cones began to rise. His breathing turned low and raspy. And his whole body seemed to expand as he repositioned himself for leverage. Then with one final pull, like a wild beast, he let out of a deep, guttural roar.
“HAWRRRRRRRRRRRGGH!” The roar echoed off the cave walls.
And with that, the stubborn vent cover finally popped off. A breath of wind pulsed through the room as the air pressure equalized itself.
But the wind wasn’t finished. After the initial pulse exited, a mighty gust picked up where the original pulse left off. The vent shot more wind into the room, but rapidly, like a storm. Tiny coarse particles rattled inside the duct. And in the room, a rush of wind whipped past Marc’s face. He felt little nips across his exposed skin as it passed him.
Both partiers shielded their faces from the most direct blasts of air. Sid smiled nervously as he looked to Marc. He raised his voice over the whining airstream.
“It’s from the sandplains above!” he said in an elevated voice. “I thought we’d use the sandstorm for music! Do you like it?”
Music… Marc wasn’t exactly an expert. Even though humans were said to be naturals at it, not much on the subject had made it into the Archives. The Outpost didn’t have much of it either. The closest he got was the occasional chant, stray birds twittering about, or maybe someone banging on rocks.
But Marc did know one thing on the subject. Where there was music, there was dancing.
That said, he had never danced before either. But a long time ago, his parents told him it was something all humans could do. It was something they carried in their blood. Once humans found a pattern in music, they could match it to their body language. And once they’d synced melody and movement, they could ride that wave to a whole new experience.
Might as well give it a shot, he thought. Marc too put his cup on the counter.
With his hands free, Marc backed up toward the middle of the room. He closed his eyes, felt the wind. It filled his ears with its gusty energy. It hit him in pumps as the storm raged above.
Though not totally predictable, the wind did hit him consistently. There was some sort of kinetic pattern to it.
Yes, a pattern.
Well actually, he’d heard it called by another name. What was that word his mother had used? He opened his eyes when he remembered: rhythm.
Marc stretched out his arms. He relaxed his hips. He felt the wind’s whips and waves across his arms. He let his arms follow them, swaying with the current. Not long after, his hips joined in. They too gyrated, trying to match the energetic gusts. He kept at it. And the first time Marc felt both himself and the wind moving together, he grinned.
“This is amazing!” he said. Around them, the wind crooned.
Sid was entranced. He nodded back while staring at Marc’s strange movements. He’d never really seen dancing either. But he figured he would give it a shot too. He loosened up his arms and walked onto the dance floor with Marc.
Before dancing himself, he studied Marc first. He watched how the scavenger moved his arms—and when the scavenger moved his arms.
Sid’s limbs followed. Four muscular arms rose in the air, like fighter jets on their way to a dogfight. And on a one or two second delay, they swayed after Marc’s.
For a while, they followed Marc completely. Then Sid went down his own path. The Lenorkian’s movements grew aggressive and battle-like. He punched at the wind swiping across him. He shuffled his feet as if swapping battle stances.
He caught Marc’s curiosity. Even as a novice, Marc could tell Sid’s movements weren’t traditional by any means. But to Marc, it was dancing all the same.
The two danced to the chorus of the air above. They laughed occasionally as changes in the rhythm of the wind tripped them up. In his head, Marc compared it to the painting on Sid’s door. The colony had never seen anything like this either.
Then something interrupted their dancing. The ground beneath them shook, throwing them off their feet. Heavy gray dirt trickled from the ceiling as the entire cave rumbled. And outside, the distant sky flashed and crackled. Its light illuminated the cave in violent spurts as the boys struggled to stand back up.
Eventually, the violent quaking and frightening flashes died down. The plasma storm held its breath once again.
The boys got back on their feet, but all the joy had seeped out of Sid’s face. He just stared at the floor in deep contemplation. Even as the windy music started back up.
Marc figured he would rescue his friend from whatever dark thoughts had turned up. Naturally, the end of the universe was a real bummer.
“End of the world got you down, huh?” He tried to laugh it off. The whole situation was pretty sad. Especially when they were having so much fun. But it was best to end the universe on a high note, right?
Nevertheless, Sid seemed dejected. He mumbled something inaudible.
“Dude, I can’t hear over the song!” Marc said in an elevated voice.
Sid spoke up over the wind. “That’s not what I’m upset about,” he said, his voice still fairly low.
“Then what are you upset about?”
Sid blurted out his response. “Because I invited Tōn-E, okay?”
He couldn’t bring himself to look Marc in the eye. Because he knew what was coming.
“YOU DID WHAT?!” Marc shouted over the music. Marc himself stomped over to the vent. He picked the cover off the floor—though he struggled quite a bit with it. It was heavier than Sid made it look. But he hoisted it back into the mouth of the vent. The music shut off. The steady drop of sand on the cave floor ceased.
“Say that again,” he leveled in Sid’s direction.
“What was I supposed to do?” Sid remade eye contact. “Not invite the only other intelligent being to the last party the universe will ever have?”
Marc needed no time to answer. He nodded insistently. “Yes. That was exactly what you were supposed to do. What the hell, Sid?” Marc would have continued, but there was another disturbance outside. He caught a glimpse of movement in the doorway.
--
Thanks for reading some of my words :) I’m trying stuff out, so let me know what you think.
The rest of the story is here
Based on this prompt
submitted by InkDiamond to WritingPrompts [link] [comments]
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Marc gave it another go. He tipped his hand forward. The silver patty rolled off him, dropping toward the cave floor.
It stopped short of hitting the path. The shiny disc halted in the air, dangling at the end of a thin white line.
He watched the small wheel spin. It might have been the most fun he’d had all year. Even more fun than that mud puddle he’d found the other day.
How does it keep going? Marc thought to himself. And without any power??
Marc assumed the disc was some sort of technological marvel from the past. But the Archives had little information on it, only a name. It was called a “yo-yo.”
They all must have had one of these, he posited.
As Marc walked down the stone ramp, he cast the yo-yo again. The toy’s quiet spin was the only sound in the cavern. The soft hiss of string versus metal reverberated gently in the spacious cave.
Marc focused all his attention on the little gadget. He was determined to enjoy every last minute of the universe, no matter what. And that evening, the yo-yo more than accomplished that goal.
The shimmering yo-yo, however, couldn’t prevent the world around him from crumbling. The ground started to rumble. The rest of the cave shook with it. The underground city shook as the plasma storm above battered it—and the rest of the planet.
Marc’s home broke down. Cracks appeared in the ceiling. Waterfalls of dust poured out of them. It wouldn't be long before the whole thing collapsed. That is, if the plasma storm didn’t swallow it whole first.
Whatever.
A few clumps of dirt wouldn’t ruin Marc’s fun. He pulled the hood of his shawl over his head and extended his ragged sleeves toward each hand. His clothes shielded him from the falling dust; the gritty particles made themselves at home on his messy shawl. And Marc was free to perfect his newest trick.
The rumbling died down though as Marc descended the ramp. The yo-yo string didn’t wobble so much, and he didn't have to watch his steps as carefully. He just hoped the quaking wouldn’t come back to ruin his event.
Speaking of which, Marc glanced ahead toward his destination below. What he saw rocked him even harder than the earthquake had.
What in the sinkpits…?
Marc stopped in his tracks. He even started to reach for his knife. All because he’d detected a speck of something suspicious. Something he didn't see much of every day: color.
Showy landmarks weren’t something endemic to his home. The Outpost was more of a dusty gray-and-brown sort of place. The walls were sandstone. The floor was sandstone. And the ceiling? …Granite?
No, sandstone. All under the faint glow of a string of depressed lightbulbs.
The intriguing blip in the gray-and-tan collage was farther up the path. Ahead of the ramp, on Level 8, Marc saw the same three steel doors he was used to seeing. The front doors of underground homes, lined up in a row, each closed into the cave wall.
However, there was something different about the third door. It looked… alive. Like it didn’t belong in a dreary place like the Outpost. But it was too far away to tell what exactly had been done to it.
Marc squinted at it suspiciously. The third door happened to be his destination. And now it was weird.
He considered waiting and observing the mutated door. A child of the Outpost, Marc had developed a healthy fear of the unusual.
These habits, along with his instincts, kept him safe. They’d specifically preserved him while the rest of humanity perished.
But he shrugged off the instinct to wait. Something new and “different” was ahead, and he wanted to see it.
But just as a precaution, it was time for his yo-yo’s last trick. He got in one final throw then placed the toy into his satchel. He dropped it on top of his arsenal of cables, wrenches, and screwdrivers.
And by the time he’d snapped the satchel shut, the long ramp had bottomed out. He’d made it to the next level.
To his left, the wall had been spray-painted. Scrawled-out black letters stood against the sandy background. They stated, “Now Level 8.”
Marc followed the sign. He stayed close to the wall, crossing to the stone pedestrian path. He passed one untouched steel door with a dusted-over mail slot in the wall beside it. Then he passed a second home—abandoned like the first. And finally, he arrived at his friend’s place and the mysterious blip on Level 8.
To his surprise, the steel door elicited a flush of emotion. His heart floated upward. And the portrait before him drew his focus in like an otherworldly beacon.
How did it get so…?
Marc pulled back his hood. The ground popped with the sandy grains he released.
He could hardly believe the difference. The door used to blend in with the others: another ridged steel face that spent most of its time rusting or collecting dirt.
But it was no longer muffled by the dust and dirt that had built up over the years.
Today, it sung. Paint streaks flew across its visage. They swirled and spiraled, forming stars and other shapes. Where previously gray and rust dominated, colors sprang forth—colors that Marc didn't even have the names for. They were many, and they were warm, like the evening sky just after sunset. Marc could hardly wrap his head around the entire image.
He swelled with gratitude.
Only you could have pulled this off. He thought of his friend, the painter. The one person in the colony who’d ever been any fun. The one other person in the colony who was left…
The artist had done the unthinkable. Foraging the garden below for something other than food. Spending work time measuring and concocting the perfect blends of paint. And then slathering their fingers across the giant door, until its old face was but a memory. And all that effort for only a single other person to appreciate.
Newly inspired, Marc searched for an unpainted space on the metal canvas. He found one and knocked on the door.
He took a step back and waited. The outside of the Outpost was lively. Excited wind rushed through the canyon.
By contrast, the Outpost itself was silent. If there was anyone left to say anything, they may have even called it “dead.”
Or nearly dead, anyway. The last morsel of it came to life as the door in front of Marc groaned.
It floated off the ground, inching upward. On the other side, Marc could hear a hand crank clicking away.
Ktch… ktch… ktch… ktch…
The corrugated door lifted, and the door rolled up. The tip of the artist’s painting started to slip from view.
Ktch… ktch… ktch… ktch…
Behind the door, chains reeled at a slow clip. The heavy curtain was halfway up. Marc could now see his best friend's lower half. Buff Lenorkian legs pumped back and forth with each crank.
The door unveiled even more of the owner. A torso in a metal suit appeared. Four ripped arms stretched out of it. They rotated, moving to the clicking beats of the door.
Ktch… ktch… ktch… ktch…
The door raised a few inches further, uncovering the bottom half of a cobalt blue face. Two rows of razor-sharp teeth smiled from ear to ear. A few inches more, and Marc could see the whole of the Lenorkian’s face.
Sid greeted Marc as the last of the door raised.
“Finally!” he said.
Marc didn’t get a chance to respond. His body lurched forward involuntarily. He slammed into Sid’s metal suit.
Crrrrrick!
The armor squealed as Sid’s upper two arms squeezed him tighter. The lower set of arms had reeled Marc in.
Marc hated hugs. Stupid mushy emotional wraparounds. But just this one final time, Marc returned the gesture. He squeezed Sid back.
“Happy Worlds’ End!” Sid said from the other side of the embrace.
“Yeah,” Marc replied, “Happy Worlds’ End.”
The two separated.
“Cool painting, by the way,” Marc said. He pointed at the rolled-up door. “I didn’t think you’d top the one in the garden.”
“You think so?” Sid sheepishly smiled. “Well I’ve had more time to practice since… you know.”
“Yeah, I get it,” Marc said. “Me too. That’s how I actually got you something.”
Marc swung his heavy satchel around. He rifled through it, squeezing through cables, knocking handles and parts out of the way. And then—ah.
He fished out a crumpled rag. Holding it in one hand, he began to gently unfold it.
“I found this a few days ago in the garden,” he said. The edges of the cloth fell. They revealed a small, glass object. It sparkled.
Marc continued, “I think it fits your style—I mean, I know it’s a little smudged and chipped but...”
He swirled the crystal trinket around. The cavern’s incandescent light flittered across its clear edges.
He touched it too, tracing the slender portion of it with his thumb. It was the neck of the crystal swan.
“It’s yours,” Marc said, offering up the bird.
Sid cupped two shovel-sized hands and accepted the gift.
“It’s beautiful…” he said, examining it. “I can’t believe anything like this could have survived this long.” He looked up at Marc and smiled, “Thank you so much. I just wish I had a little longer to could enjoy it.”
They chuckled lightly about their impending obliteration.
“Well, come on in,” Sid said. He extended both of his left arms. They gestured toward the cave interior. “We’ll finish off this universe how it started,” he said. He mashed his upper two fists together. “With a bang!”
“I hear that!” Marc nodded. He crossed over into Sid’s house.
As Marc passed Sid, a wave of discomfort hit him. Sid had switched out his usual t-shirt and jeans. He wore old armor instead. And the metal plating taunted Marc.
Marc’s next question came out more accusatory than curious.
“So… a Lenorkian throwback, huh?” he asked Sid.
Sid had just finished finding the perfect home for his swan. He left it on a shelf next to the front door.
He turned to face Marc. He hid his embarrassment behind a jagged smile.
“Oh!” he said. “Uhhh…” Three of Sid’s arms disappeared behind his back. The cone-shaped cuffs at the end of each wrist clanked against the back of his chest armor. The fourth arm nervously scratched his blue head. “I don’t know,” he said. “It's stupid, I guess. I can take it off… if you want.”
Marc didn’t want to address the topic head-on. He stopped in the cave’s entry. He pretended to admire the walls—as if he’d never seen sandstone before.
“No, leave it on,” he said. “You look… like a true Lenorkian.” He turn around and forced a smile.
It wasn’t enough.
“Okay, let’s get this out of the way,” Sid said. He marched up to Marc.
Sid took a deep breath before he spoke.
“Tonight's really important to me,” he continued. “This is the last impression anyone’s going to make on the universe. So I need you on board.” He continued staring down at Marc. “Can you do that? For me?”
Marc didn’t see what the big deal was. It was just a couple of best friends hanging out.
“Yeah, why not?” he shrugged. “End it the way it started.”
The exchange turned into awkward silence. Neither knew what to do next. They had never been in a situation like this before—never attended such an event. What the Archives called: a par-ty.
Sid shook off the figurative mask he’d been wearing—one that was uncharacteristically dour. His eyes lightened, and he bobbed his head knowingly.
“I went through the Archives to see how this works,” he said. He walked toward the long horizontal counter against the wall—the kitchen.
On the counter, chaos ran wild. Bowls and kitchenware spread across the surface. And the insides of his pots and pans resembled the dirty mouth of a garbage chute.
Marc wasn’t sure what to think. Was cleaning the host’s kitchen a staple of ancient parties?
Sid too seemed a bit confused. His next words came out robotically, as if he was practicing a new word he’d learned.
“’Can-I-offer-you-a-drink?’” Sid asked. He stood nervously in front of the counter.
Looking closer at it, three unusual objects stood apart from the kitchenware mess. It took Marc a while to remember what their outdated, bendy material was called.
Plastic. Three pink and plastic cups sat equidistant from one another.
“I got these from here,” Sid reached under the counter and pulled up some sort of transparent bag. Pink cups just liked the others were stacked on top of each other inside.
Sid packed the bag back under the counter.
“So?” he asked after he finished. He held all four hands together in anticipation. His smile may have looked like an industrial-grade rock shredder, but it was hard to resist his innocent blue face and big wide eyes.
Marc eyed the pink cups one last time.
“This better not kill me,” he said.
Sid wasted no time. He excitedly grabbed a cup and walked over to a large pot sitting on the counter.
Using a nearby ladle, he plunged into the vat. An unappetizing sloshing sound resulted. And Sid, as strong as he was, seemed to struggle with scooping out some of the mystery liquid. But in the end, he pulled back the ladle and unloaded an opaque, muddy liquid into the cup.
“It's a homeworld classic called fludge,” Sid said as he finished pouring.
He treaded over to his reluctant friend and handed off the plastic cup.
“Did you say ‘fludge’?” Marc asked. He swished the cup around cautiously. The earthy liquid hardly budged.
“Yeah, fludge! Us Lenorkians invented it. It’s kind of the only tasty thing we ever bothered to make.”
Marc sniffed it. It smelled… burnt? Maybe a little dusty, too? But he could have just been smelling the cave.
Sid left Marc alone with Marc’s questionable new assignment. He returned to the pot to pour himself a drink.
“Just try it!” he said.
Marc looked down again at the dark soup. It could kill him. Or maybe it wouldn't.
Either way, it was his last drink.
He took a timid sip and waited to be repulsed. The fludge trickled to the back of his tongue. As it hit, Marc’s eyes widened. But not with regret.
He swallowed.
“Now wait a minute…” he said. He smacked his lips together. Then he took another, larger sip.
This curious dark liquid had a unique taste to it. The taste was earthen—but unoffending. It also had a subtle undercurrent of sweetness to it, combined with a spicy kick. It was delicious.
“This might be the best drink in the entire Outpost!” Marc exclaimed.
Pure joy bloomed on Sid’s face. “See! I told you: the greatest thing we ever made.”
He held his own cup above his open jaws. The falling fludge was no match for the alien. He guzzled it down, licked his lips, and then went back for more.
As Sid fashioned himself another drink, Marc noticed something a tad unsettling. A third pink cup stared back at him. It prompted an uncomfortable thought, but he shoved the thought back down.
The Lenorkian carried back his second drink. Though this time, he took it in small, human-sized sips.
But he quickly reanimated. In the middle of a sip, Sid got a wild look in his eyes. His irises turned from their natural violet to scarlet. He yanked the cup from his face and swallowed.
“Argh, how did I forget?” he said. “I got music!”
Marc cut his sip short too. “No way. You got music?”
“I think so!”
Sid did an about face. He slammed the half-empty cup on the counter. Then he shuffled toward a giant metal column protruding from the far wall. Four ink-blue hands wrapped around the cover of the vent. And he went for it.
Sid struggled to pull off the cover of the vent at first. His armor ballooned around his biceps as his muscles bulged outward. Yet the cover wouldn't budge.
But it seemed like an important part of his evening plans. He scolded the stubborn vent, banging on its top.
“Oh, you’re gonna get it now!” he said. He latched onto the vent again.
This time, he put even more effort in. To the point where Marc sensed that Sid was losing a grip on his own body. Out of his forehead, two thumb-sized cones began to rise. His breathing turned low and raspy. And his whole body seemed to expand as he repositioned himself for leverage. Then with one final pull, like a wild beast, he let out of a deep, guttural roar.
“HAWRRRRRRRRRRRGGH!” The roar echoed off the cave walls.
And with that, the stubborn vent cover finally popped off. A breath of wind pulsed through the room as the air pressure equalized itself.
But the wind wasn’t finished. After the initial pulse exited, a mighty gust picked up where the original pulse left off. The vent shot more wind into the room, but rapidly, like a storm. Tiny coarse particles rattled inside the duct. And in the room, a rush of wind whipped past Marc’s face. He felt little nips across his exposed skin as it passed him.
Both partiers shielded their faces from the most direct blasts of air. Sid smiled nervously as he looked to Marc. He raised his voice over the whining airstream.
“It’s from the sandplains above!” he said in an elevated voice. “I thought we’d use the sandstorm for music! Do you like it?”
Music… Marc wasn’t exactly an expert. Even though humans were said to be naturals at it, not much on the subject had made it into the Archives. The Outpost didn’t have much of it either. The closest he got was the occasional chant, stray birds twittering about, or maybe someone banging on rocks.
But Marc did know one thing on the subject. Where there was music, there was dancing.
That said, he had never danced before either. But a long time ago, his parents told him it was something all humans could do. It was something they carried in their blood. Once humans found a pattern in music, they could match it to their body language. And once they’d synced melody and movement, they could ride that wave to a whole new experience.
Might as well give it a shot, he thought. Marc too put his cup on the counter.
With his hands free, Marc backed up toward the middle of the room. He closed his eyes, felt the wind. It filled his ears with its gusty energy. It hit him in pumps as the storm raged above.
Though not totally predictable, the wind did hit him consistently. There was some sort of kinetic pattern to it.
Yes, a pattern.
Well actually, he’d heard it called by another name. What was that word his mother had used? He opened his eyes when he remembered: rhythm.
Marc stretched out his arms. He relaxed his hips. He felt the wind’s whips and waves across his arms. He let his arms follow them, swaying with the current. Not long after, his hips joined in. They too gyrated, trying to match the energetic gusts. He kept at it. And the first time Marc felt both himself and the wind moving together, he grinned.
“This is amazing!” he said. Around them, the wind crooned.
Sid was entranced. He nodded back while staring at Marc’s strange movements. He’d never really seen dancing either. But he figured he would give it a shot too. He loosened up his arms and walked onto the dance floor with Marc.
Before dancing himself, he studied Marc first. He watched how the scavenger moved his arms—and when the scavenger moved his arms.
Sid’s limbs followed. Four muscular arms rose in the air, like fighter jets on their way to a dogfight. And on a one or two second delay, they swayed after Marc’s.
For a while, they followed Marc completely. Then Sid went down his own path. The Lenorkian’s movements grew aggressive and battle-like. He punched at the wind swiping across him. He shuffled his feet as if swapping battle stances.
He caught Marc’s curiosity. Even as a novice, Marc could tell Sid’s movements weren’t traditional by any means. But to Marc, it was dancing all the same.
The two danced to the chorus of the air above. They laughed occasionally as changes in the rhythm of the wind tripped them up. In his head, Marc compared it to the painting on Sid’s door. The colony had never seen anything like this either.
Then something interrupted their dancing. The ground beneath them shook, throwing them off their feet. Heavy gray dirt trickled from the ceiling as the entire cave rumbled. And outside, the distant sky flashed and crackled. Its light illuminated the cave in violent spurts as the boys struggled to stand back up.
Eventually, the violent quaking and frightening flashes died down. The plasma storm held its breath once again.
The boys got back on their feet, but all the joy had seeped out of Sid’s face. He just stared at the floor in deep contemplation. Even as the windy music started back up.
Marc figured he would rescue his friend from whatever dark thoughts had turned up. Naturally, the end of the universe was a real bummer.
“End of the world got you down, huh?” He tried to laugh it off. The whole situation was pretty sad. Especially when they were having so much fun. But it was best to end the universe on a high note, right?
Nevertheless, Sid seemed dejected. He mumbled something inaudible.
“Dude, I can’t hear over the song!” Marc said in an elevated voice.
Sid spoke up over the wind. “That’s not what I’m upset about,” he said, his voice still fairly low.
“Then what are you upset about?”
Sid blurted out his response. “Because I invited Tōn-E, okay?”
He couldn’t bring himself to look Marc in the eye. Because he knew what was coming.
“YOU DID WHAT?!” Marc shouted over the music. Marc himself stomped over to the vent. He picked the cover off the floor—though he struggled quite a bit with it. It was heavier than Sid made it look. But he hoisted it back into the mouth of the vent. The music shut off. The steady drop of sand on the cave floor ceased.
“Say that again,” he leveled in Sid’s direction.
“What was I supposed to do?” Sid remade eye contact. “Not invite the only other intelligent being to the last party the universe will ever have?”
Marc needed no time to answer. He nodded insistently. “Yes. That was exactly what you were supposed to do. What the hell, Sid?” Marc would have continued, but there was another disturbance outside. He caught a glimpse of movement in the doorway.
--
Thanks for reading some of my words :) I’m trying stuff out, so let me know what you think.
The rest of the story is here
Based on this prompt
2023.06.04 07:20 _Triple_ [STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 50.000$+ INVENTORY. M9 Fade, M4 Poseidon, BFK Freehand, Crimson Kimono, Nomad Fade, Skeleton, Kara Lore, Bayo Autotronic, AWP Fade, Kara Damas, BFK Ultra, Kara Freehand, Kara Bright, M9 Damas, Omega, Tiger Strike, Flip MF, Bayo Tiger, Deagle Blaze, Talon & More
Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory
Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.
All Buyouts are listed in cash value.
KNIVES
★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500
★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822
★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616
⎯★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300
★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050
★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629
★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326
★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233
⎯★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110
★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840
★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784
★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759
⎯★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751
⎯★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156
★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544
★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318
⎯★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646
★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574
★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552
★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257
★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255
★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287
⎯★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461
★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436
★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353
★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212
★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123
★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375
★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363
★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269
★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192
★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159
★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126
⎯★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616
★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412
★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227
⎯★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214
★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192
★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105
⎯★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216
★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198
★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111
⎯★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368
★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228
★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201
★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108
★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105
★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99
★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85
⎯★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700
★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223
★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203
★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191
★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138
★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111
⎯★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146
★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168
⎯★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476
★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375
⎯★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137
★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608
★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305
★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97
GLOVES
★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204
★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
⎯★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215
★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140
★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137
★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75
⎯★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359
★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229
★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77
★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48
⎯★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739
★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733
★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292
⎯★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212
★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160
★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101
⎯★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59
⎯★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62
WEAPONS
AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130
AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70
AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72
⎯AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP Duality FN, B/O: $81
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive FT, B/O: $55
⎯Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $623
Desert Eagle Emerald Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $241
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Printstream FT, B/O: $54
⎯M4A1-S Blue Phosphor FN, B/O: $434
StatTrak™ M4A1-S Bright Water MW, B/O: $55
⎯M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1465
M4A4 Asiimov BS, B/O: $55
M4A4 Hellfire MW, B/O: $50
⎯USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $72
USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69
StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $139
⎯AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $234
P90 Run and Hide FT, B/O: $147
Five-SeveN Candy Apple FN, B/O: $61
Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory
Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.
Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.
Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.
2023.06.04 06:06 daversa Hypothetically, would it be possible to build a kitchen and bathroom that could be cleaned with a pressure washer?
I've always thought this would be so convenient, if you could count on everything being waterproof enough and drain properly. I love the idea of building a pressure washer into the cabinets so you could just hook up a hose/gun and blast the place clean in like 30 seconds.
A commercial kitchen is probably the closest, but is there anything like this already?
submitted by daversa to homerenovations [link] [comments]
A commercial kitchen is probably the closest, but is there anything like this already?
2023.06.04 05:44 justinp456 What’s the best and fastest way to remove old paint from the ceiling of a small sailboat?
I have a 1977 macgregor sailboat and I’m really wanting the inside to be decent. It was sitting in the woods when I was given her and she is definitely in need of some work. The interior is peeling and chipping all the way through to the fiberglass. I’d like to get it cleaned up enough to just spray paint it and that’s it. Doesn’t have to be anywhere close to perfect or new looking. Just decent enough to want to be down there rather than creepy and gross like it is now. I used citristrip on a small area but it got too glue like and it also takes 3 hours to get to stripping. (I experimented) I have a pressure washer but that seems like the mess would be awful. I tried sanding it last year but the fiberglass is so grooved like it it doesn’t really work all that well. Any tips or suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!
submitted by justinp456 to boating [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 04:30 ufjenna Eco-friendly way to clean mildewed dock?
Hey all! I’m going to be in Wilmington visiting my dad in a couple of weeks with my kids. Any advice how to clean his dock in an environmentally friendly way? Last year when my kids would sit on the dock in their wet swim trunks, they’d be discolored from the mold/mildew of the wooden dock. We have no electric hookup for a pressure cleaner and also am unsure of my availability to rent a gas pressure washer in Wilmington or my middle-aged ass lugging one down 50 yards of rocks/boardwalk to reach the dock. Curious of any DIY remedies that won’t hurt the ecosystem of our beloved Lake Raponda. Even better, if anyone has any contacts in Southern VT to build/replace the dock, send me a PM. As my dad ages, his “guys” are all aging, too; and he’s on year 3 of hoping to get a new dock and it just not panning out. (And I totally understand how the demand for craftspeople is insane, housing prices are insane, so not trying to place blame on any of them; just trying to do some legwork for my dad.) Thanks.
submitted by ufjenna to vermont [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 02:53 farenly sliding glitch after jumping
video of the glitch: https://streamable.com/ququks
I have tried:
- reinstalling XPMSE
- running Nemesis
- Reinstalling Skyrim
none of it works to fix it.
If I run FNIS at the same time as Nemesis the jump works, but then I can't use MCO, wich for me doesnt work.
Modlist is here:
(Part 1) SSE Engine Fixes for 1.5.39 - 1.5.97
AC Valhalla Inspired Animation For All Races
AC Valhalla Inspired Animations For Player Only
Achieve That SE English
Address Library
Animation Motion Revolution
Apachii Divine Elegance Store
Apocalypse
Ars Metallica - Smithing Enhancement
Better Jumping SE
Better Third Person Selection (AE - SE)
Beyond Skyrim - Assets
Beyond Skyrim - Bruma
Beyond Skyrim DLC Integration Patch
Billyro's OldSwords
Billyro's Weapons
Bruma and Other Patches for Convenient Horses
Caliente's Beautiful Bodies Enhancer -CBBE-
Cannibal Draugr on Solstheim
Complete Crafting Overhaul Remastered
Complete Widescreen Fix for Vanilla and SkyUI 2.2 and 5.2 SE
Convenient Horses
Crafting Categories for SkyUI
customEbonyValkyrie1_2.7z
dTry's Key Utils SE
DynamicAnimationCasting
Elden Power Attack
Elden Rim - Weapon Arts English 1.9.9.2
ENB Helper SE 1.5 for SSE 1.5.97
Enhanced Blood Textures
Equippable Tomes - Belt-Worn Books - Special Edition
EVG Animation Variance
EVG Conditional Idles
Faster HDT-SMP
FSMPV
HD Reflective Ebony Armor and Weapons
Home in a Hat updated
Immersive Armors 8.1 SSE Test
Immersive Equipment Displays for 1.5.39 - 1.6.353
Immersive Equipping Animations
Immersive Interactions
Immersive Weapons
Interesting NPCs 3DNPC
JackGa's Pub - SE
JContainers SE
Kozakowy's Falka Armor UNP - SSE
KS Hairdos - HDT SMP (Physics)
KS Hairdos SSE
LeanWolf's Better-Shaped Weapons - All in One Installer
Legacy of the Dragonborn
Legacy of the Dragonborn Collectors and Vendors
Leviathan Animations II - Sprint
MCM Helper SE (1.5.97 BACKPORT)
MCO Universal Support
Nordic Faces - Complete Version
NORDIC UI - Interface Overhaul
Nordic...ish - A TrueHUD preset based on Nordic UI
Oblivion Camera
Ordinator 9.31.0
Ordinator Beyond Skyrim Bruma Patch
Papyrus Ini Manipulator
PapyrusUtil SE - Scripting Utility Functions
Payload Interpreter
powerofthree's Tweaks
Precision
RaceMenu Anniversary Edition
Realistic Water Two SE
SCAR - Skyrim Combos AI Revolution
Scriptfree Behavior Staggerlock
SkyHUD
Skyrim Unbound Reborn
Skyrim's Paraglider
SkyrimSE HD Reworked Horses
Skyshards
SkyUI_5_2_SE
Smooth Magic Casting Animation
Soaking Wet
Sonderbain's Chevalier - Randomized One Handed Block Animations
Spell Perk Item Distributor
SSE Display Tweaks
Static Mesh Improvement Mod
True Directional Movement
TrueHUD
Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch
Valhalla Combat
Veydogolt Trees
VioLens - A Killmove Mod SE
Visual Animated Enchants 2-023 Se Ae version
Weapon Styles - Draw-Sheath animations
Witchhunter Spells and Prayers Pack - Special Edition
1three-eyed swallowSE
[immyneedscake] BDOR Berserk SSE (Cloth SMP)
Abyss
ABYSSAL BLADE MCO One Handed Moveset and Weapon
Adaliya - High Poly Female Redguard Presets for Racemenu - 2 Versions
AddItemMenuSE_114_SKSE2019
ADXP I MCO Berserker guts Animation
ADXP I MCO elden rim moveset collection (SCAR)
ADXP I MCO ER Katana (SCAR)
ADXP I MCO ER Mixed Scythe (SCAR)
ADXP I MCO ER rapiers (SCAR)
Aldamar - Druid Mushroom Home
Alpha Jab -Unarmed Combat Sounds Rework-
Amber Guard
Amol Village
AnathemaStudio's Elf Ears (Enchantable)
Ancient Land
Ancient Land Patches
Animated Armoury - DAR Version - New Weapons with animations
Animated Armoury - New Weapons with animations SSE Version
Animation Queue Fix
Apachii Divine Elegance Dynamic Outfits For Nobles SPID
Apocalypse - Balance Patch
Armors of the Velothi Pt. II
ARTFUL DODGER - Dynamic Pickpocket Cap
Awesome Potions Simplified -ENB Lights
Awesome Potions Simplified by Revoith
Base Object Swapper
Beast Race Bodypaints SE -Khajiit and Argonian Themed Bodypaints Facepaints RaceMenu Overlays-
Behavior Data Injector
Better Dialogue Controls
Better Falskaar and Wyrmstooth Map With Roads
Better Vampires 8.7 SE
Bijin Skin - CBBE
Bloodborne Pack by Team TAL SSE
BodySlide and Outfit Studio
Bone Colossus- Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''undead'')
Bow Charge Plus
Bow_Rapid_Combo_V2_1.4_I_Full
Bright Waterfall Fix for ENB
Campfire - Complete Camping System (Supports Skyrim VR)
Capital Windhelm Expansion
Cathedral - 3D Thicket and Dead Shrub
Cathedral Weathers and Seasons
CBBE SMP (3BBB)
CBPC - Physics with Collisions
CBPC Equipment Physics
CG4 Trees and Bushes SE
Citizens of Tamriel SE
CL's Rapier
Clean up the physics outfit - Collision Reset
Cleaned Skyrim SE Textures
Combat Pathing Revolution
Compass Navigation Overhaul
Comprehensive First Person Animation Overhaul - CFPAO
ConsoleUtilSSE NG
Controlmap.txt Fixed and Cleaned
Convenient Carriages
Corvus - Swords of Nocturnal
Cosmo-War Scythe
Crouch Sliding
Crouch Sliding TUDM Patch - Slide with Your Weapon Drawn
Customizable Camera
Daedric Armor SE
Daedric Shrines - All in One
Dark Brotherhood Armor SE
Dark Souls Pack by Team TAL
Deadly Spell Impacts
Delux ArchMage Quarters plus Mages Kitchen
Detection Meter
Dodge MCO-DXP
Dovahkiin can lean Sit Kneel Lay down and Meditate etc too
Dragon Slayer - Berserk
Dragonbane - Replacer
Drifter Armor and Outfit - My version
Dwarven Colossus - Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''dwemer'')
Dwemer Colosseum SE
DX Cassandra Frost Witch Outfit - UNP
DX Celes Nightingale Armor SSE - with Optional Heels sound and UUNP Bodyslide - Physics - UNP UNPB 7BB DreamGirl Seraphim and More
DX Druid Armor - SSE CBBE BodySlide (with Physics)
DX Druid Armor - UNP
DX Witch Hunter Armor - UNP
DX Witcher Swords - SE
Dynamic Animation Replacer
Dynamic Bow Animation
Dynamic Female Wall Leaning
Dynamic Impact - Slash Effects X
Ebonblade War Axe SE
Elden Power Attack Fix for MCO DXP
Elemental Fist - Brawler weapons
ELFX Shadows
ElSopa - Quivers Redone SE
Elven Silver Daggers by ClipsyMoon
Embers XD
Emeri's Presets All in One
ENB Light Inventory Fix (ELIF)
Enhanced Lights and FX
Eternal Flames
EVG Animated Traversal - Patch Collection
EVG Animated Traversal Addon for Windhelm Capital Expansion
EVG Animated Traversal Skyrim Integration Patch
Eviscerate
Experience
Experience - MCM
Expressive Facegen Morphs SE
Expressive Facial Animation - Female Edition
Facial Piercings SSE
Faction - Pit Fighter
Falconer Armor SE
Falskaar
Female Makeup Suite - Face - RaceMenu Overlays of Eyeliner EyeShadow Contours and Highlights - Special Edition
Ferrum Nibenis
Festus Krex Insideout Spell
FileAccess Interface for Skyrim SE Scripts - FISSES
Footsteps Sounds Overhaul
Functional Fearsome Fists - Innate Unarmed Boost
God of War Leviathan Axe
Goetia Animations - Magic Spell Casting
Granite Hill Village
Gravelords- Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''dark souls'')
Griffith Armour SSE fixed and updated
HDT-SMP Infantry Armor Patch
HDT-SMP Three-eyed Swallow Armor Patch
HDT-SMP Traveler's Backpack
Hearthfire multiple adoptions - Now with custom home support for kids and spouse
Hellblade - Timed Block
High Elf Archer (Goblin Slayer) - Jinxxed Followers SSE
High Minotaurs - Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''eso'')
High Poly Head SE
High-Poly Inigo Replacer
Highly Improved Male Body Overhaul
Hogwarts in Skyrim
Hot Key Skill
House Cats- Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''pet'')
Hydra's Reversed Daggers
IFrame Generator RE
Ilieh - Cry of the Damned
Immersive Diving Animation
Immersive World Encounters SE
Imps SE
Infantry Armor SE
Infinity UI
INIGO
Inquisitor HDT-SMP Armor
Inventory Interface Information Injector
Ish's Respec Mod
JaySuS Swords SE
JK's Whiterun V1.4b - SSE
JS Unique Utopia SE - Daggers
Judgement Cut End - ap05's Remake
Khajiit Eyes Extended - Khajiit Heterochromia and More
Khajiit Has Wares - A Caravan Camp Overhaul
Khajiit Overhaul SSE Unofficial Port
Knight Winds
Kurone Bell Bodyslide Preset (CBBE 3BA) And (3BA V's Cut)
Lamenthia's Marks of Beauty
Leather Armors Retexture SE
Legendary Alpha Shields
Leviathan Animations II - Female Idle Walk And Run
Leviathan Animations II - Male Idle Walk And Run
Light and Shade SE
Lupus - Swords of Hircine
Mage Backpack SSE
Magical College of Winterhold
Maleficus' Traversal (EVGAT)
Master The Summit
Max's Season 2 - RaceMenu Presets - High Poly - Low Poly - Male - Female
MEMOSPORE - UI Sound Effects
Menu Maid 2 - MCM manager
Mikan Eyes - SE
Missives
Missives - Notes Retexture
monster race crash fix
Moon Monk's Robes
Multiple Followers Framework
Mythic Dawn armor SE
Natura
New Weynon
Nicos Craftable Arrows SSE
No Recoil
No Thieves Guild Grind
Nocturnal Moths
Northern God Armor SE
Oakwood
Odium - Swords of Molag Bal
Ogres SE
Old Gods of the Hunt- Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''the witcher'')
Opulent Thieves Guild
Particle Patch for ENB
powerofthree's Papyrus Extender
Project ja-Kha'jay
Quality Over Quantity - KS Hairdo's Reduced Plus HG
QuickLoot EE
RaceMenu High Heels (Height Fixes)
Raven HDT-SMP Armor
Realistic Aspen Trees SE
Redguard F Hair Grouped and Replacer
Relationship Dialogue Overhaul - RDO SE
Reversed Daggers Moveset for MCO
Ryn's Dragon Mounds Collection
Ryn's Sleeping Giant Inn
s6o6t LORE - Dark Anchors Ruins and Dolmens
Security Overhaul SKSE - Lock Variations
Security Overhaul SKSE - Regional Locks
SG Female Eyebrows
Show Player In Menus
Silver Armor SE
Simple Dual Sheath
Sindora's Hidden Hearth
SkyALERT - Detection Meter Redesign
Skyland AIO
Skyland Blacksmith Texture Overhaul
Skyrim Immersive Creatures Special Edition
Skyrim Search SE - Simply find your missing followers
Skyshards Offer Skills - Boss Containers Grant EXP
SmoothCam
SmoothCam - EasyEase Preset
Sons of Skyrim
Sprint Sneak Movement Speed Fix
Sswaye's Revenant's Sword Moveset ADXP I MCO DAR
Stave Church of Skyrim
Store Entrance Doorbells
Storm Golem- Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''atronach'')
Storm Lightning for SSE and VR (Minty Lightning 2019)
Strange Runes
The Eyes Of Beauty SSE
The Welkynar Knight - Quest
To Your Face SE - AE - VR
Triss Armor Retextured SE
Triumvirate - Mage Archetypes
TUDM - Script Fixes
UIExtensions
Unarmed Moveset for MCO
Unique Bows Collection
Valkyr HDT-SMP Hairstyles
Vampire Beasts- Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''the witcher'')
Vanguard - Bash Behaviors Overhaul
VIGILANT SEAE
VIGILANT Voiced - English Addon
Way of the Monk -Unarmed Combat - Extended
Whiterun Horse Statue
Wild Witch
Wind Ruler Armor SE
Wind Ruler Armor SE - hdt-SMP Patch
Windhelm Bridge Revived
Wyrmstooth
(ESL)HDT-SMP Daedric Armor Patch (4thUnknown Version)
3D Junipers - Trees and Berries
Adventurer HDT-SMP Armor
Air Dash Whirlwind Sprint
Airgetlam - Shouts SFX -
Airgetlam -Modern Magic Sounds Rework- 4.1 Redesigned
Better Ferns
Cabbage - A Cabbage Mod
Calling of the Conjurer
Cathedral - 3D Clover Plant
Constellation Magic
Dear Diary Dark Mode (warm text)
Diverse Dragons Collection SE (DDCse)
Dragon Animation Replace in Special Edition
DX Witcher Armor - UNP
Dynamic Fus Ro Dah
Dynamic Random Spell Idle
Dynamic Whirlwind Sprint
Elden Equip
ElSopa HD Shields Part I
Flame Atronach SE
For Honor in Skyrim I Centurion
For Honor in Skyrim I Gryphon
For Honor in Skyrim I Warden
For Honor in Skyrim I Warlord I Sword and shield I MCO Animation
Frankly HD Masque of Clavicus Vile
Frozen Electrocuted Combustion
Fuz Ro D-oh - Silent Voice
GoT Dragons (A Game of Thrones)
HDT SMP beast race tail
Instantly Skip Dialogue NG
Izba - An Herbalist's Cabin in the Woods
JK's Arcadia's Cauldron
JK's Belethor's General Goods
JK's Bits and Pieces
JK's Blue Palace
JK's Dragonsreach
JK's Palace of the Kings
JK's Radiant Raiment
JK's Skyrim
JK's The Bannered Mare
JK's The Drunken Huntsman
JK's The Winking Skeever
JRC's Witcher Style Sword Pack
Jump Behavior Overhaul SE
Jumping Attack
Kharoxia Armor
Landscapes - Cathedral Concept
League of Assassins Armor
Less Boring Loading Screens - SE-AE
Lux - Via
Markarth - City of Stone
Mysticism - A Magic Overhaul
Nirnroot by Mari
NPCs React To Invisibility
Rainbows Remade
Realistic Skin And Hair Shaders - Giants
Realistic Skin Shaders - Falmer and Hagravens
Remote Interactions
Ryn's Western Watchtower
Skyrim Platform
Spaghetti's Palaces - Dragonsreach
Spaghetti's Solstheim - Raven Rock
Spaghetti's Solstheim - Tel Mithryn
Spriggans SE
Stellaris
Storm Calling Magic
Stylish Dodge Chaos - DMCO
Taunt Your Enemies - Taunting Matters
The Forgotten City
Untarnished UI
Yggdrasil Music and SoundFX
XP32 Maximum Skeleton Special Extended
Attack MCO-DXP
Magical Jumping
Frankly HD Thieves Guild Armors
Desecration
Flames of Coldharbour
Vulcano
Nemesis Unlimited Behavior Engine
submitted by farenly to skyrimmods [link] [comments]
I have tried:
- reinstalling XPMSE
- running Nemesis
- Reinstalling Skyrim
none of it works to fix it.
If I run FNIS at the same time as Nemesis the jump works, but then I can't use MCO, wich for me doesnt work.
Modlist is here:
(Part 1) SSE Engine Fixes for 1.5.39 - 1.5.97
- Ultimate HD Fire Effects SSE - Ultra Resolution
AC Valhalla Inspired Animation For All Races
AC Valhalla Inspired Animations For Player Only
Achieve That SE English
Address Library
Animation Motion Revolution
Apachii Divine Elegance Store
Apocalypse
Ars Metallica - Smithing Enhancement
Better Jumping SE
Better Third Person Selection (AE - SE)
Beyond Skyrim - Assets
Beyond Skyrim - Bruma
Beyond Skyrim DLC Integration Patch
Billyro's OldSwords
Billyro's Weapons
Bruma and Other Patches for Convenient Horses
Caliente's Beautiful Bodies Enhancer -CBBE-
Cannibal Draugr on Solstheim
Complete Crafting Overhaul Remastered
Complete Widescreen Fix for Vanilla and SkyUI 2.2 and 5.2 SE
Convenient Horses
Crafting Categories for SkyUI
customEbonyValkyrie1_2.7z
dTry's Key Utils SE
DynamicAnimationCasting
Elden Power Attack
Elden Rim - Weapon Arts English 1.9.9.2
ENB Helper SE 1.5 for SSE 1.5.97
Enhanced Blood Textures
Equippable Tomes - Belt-Worn Books - Special Edition
EVG Animation Variance
EVG Conditional Idles
Faster HDT-SMP
FSMPV
HD Reflective Ebony Armor and Weapons
Home in a Hat updated
Immersive Armors 8.1 SSE Test
Immersive Equipment Displays for 1.5.39 - 1.6.353
Immersive Equipping Animations
Immersive Interactions
Immersive Weapons
Interesting NPCs 3DNPC
JackGa's Pub - SE
JContainers SE
Kozakowy's Falka Armor UNP - SSE
KS Hairdos - HDT SMP (Physics)
KS Hairdos SSE
LeanWolf's Better-Shaped Weapons - All in One Installer
Legacy of the Dragonborn
Legacy of the Dragonborn Collectors and Vendors
Leviathan Animations II - Sprint
MCM Helper SE (1.5.97 BACKPORT)
MCO Universal Support
Nordic Faces - Complete Version
NORDIC UI - Interface Overhaul
Nordic...ish - A TrueHUD preset based on Nordic UI
Oblivion Camera
Ordinator 9.31.0
Ordinator Beyond Skyrim Bruma Patch
Papyrus Ini Manipulator
PapyrusUtil SE - Scripting Utility Functions
Payload Interpreter
powerofthree's Tweaks
Precision
RaceMenu Anniversary Edition
Realistic Water Two SE
SCAR - Skyrim Combos AI Revolution
Scriptfree Behavior Staggerlock
SkyHUD
Skyrim Unbound Reborn
Skyrim's Paraglider
SkyrimSE HD Reworked Horses
Skyshards
SkyUI_5_2_SE
Smooth Magic Casting Animation
Soaking Wet
Sonderbain's Chevalier - Randomized One Handed Block Animations
Spell Perk Item Distributor
SSE Display Tweaks
Static Mesh Improvement Mod
True Directional Movement
TrueHUD
Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch
Valhalla Combat
Veydogolt Trees
VioLens - A Killmove Mod SE
Visual Animated Enchants 2-023 Se Ae version
Weapon Styles - Draw-Sheath animations
Witchhunter Spells and Prayers Pack - Special Edition
1three-eyed swallowSE
[immyneedscake] BDOR Berserk SSE (Cloth SMP)
Abyss
ABYSSAL BLADE MCO One Handed Moveset and Weapon
Adaliya - High Poly Female Redguard Presets for Racemenu - 2 Versions
AddItemMenuSE_114_SKSE2019
ADXP I MCO Berserker guts Animation
ADXP I MCO elden rim moveset collection (SCAR)
ADXP I MCO ER Katana (SCAR)
ADXP I MCO ER Mixed Scythe (SCAR)
ADXP I MCO ER rapiers (SCAR)
Aldamar - Druid Mushroom Home
Alpha Jab -Unarmed Combat Sounds Rework-
Amber Guard
Amol Village
AnathemaStudio's Elf Ears (Enchantable)
Ancient Land
Ancient Land Patches
Animated Armoury - DAR Version - New Weapons with animations
Animated Armoury - New Weapons with animations SSE Version
Animation Queue Fix
Apachii Divine Elegance Dynamic Outfits For Nobles SPID
Apocalypse - Balance Patch
Armors of the Velothi Pt. II
ARTFUL DODGER - Dynamic Pickpocket Cap
Awesome Potions Simplified -ENB Lights
Awesome Potions Simplified by Revoith
Base Object Swapper
Beast Race Bodypaints SE -Khajiit and Argonian Themed Bodypaints Facepaints RaceMenu Overlays-
Behavior Data Injector
Better Dialogue Controls
Better Falskaar and Wyrmstooth Map With Roads
Better Vampires 8.7 SE
Bijin Skin - CBBE
Bloodborne Pack by Team TAL SSE
BodySlide and Outfit Studio
Bone Colossus- Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''undead'')
Bow Charge Plus
Bow_Rapid_Combo_V2_1.4_I_Full
Bright Waterfall Fix for ENB
Campfire - Complete Camping System (Supports Skyrim VR)
Capital Windhelm Expansion
Cathedral - 3D Thicket and Dead Shrub
Cathedral Weathers and Seasons
CBBE SMP (3BBB)
CBPC - Physics with Collisions
CBPC Equipment Physics
CG4 Trees and Bushes SE
Citizens of Tamriel SE
CL's Rapier
Clean up the physics outfit - Collision Reset
Cleaned Skyrim SE Textures
Combat Pathing Revolution
Compass Navigation Overhaul
Comprehensive First Person Animation Overhaul - CFPAO
ConsoleUtilSSE NG
Controlmap.txt Fixed and Cleaned
Convenient Carriages
Corvus - Swords of Nocturnal
Cosmo-War Scythe
Crouch Sliding
Crouch Sliding TUDM Patch - Slide with Your Weapon Drawn
Customizable Camera
Daedric Armor SE
Daedric Shrines - All in One
Dark Brotherhood Armor SE
Dark Souls Pack by Team TAL
Deadly Spell Impacts
Delux ArchMage Quarters plus Mages Kitchen
Detection Meter
Dodge MCO-DXP
Dovahkiin can lean Sit Kneel Lay down and Meditate etc too
Dragon Slayer - Berserk
Dragonbane - Replacer
Drifter Armor and Outfit - My version
Dwarven Colossus - Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''dwemer'')
Dwemer Colosseum SE
DX Cassandra Frost Witch Outfit - UNP
DX Celes Nightingale Armor SSE - with Optional Heels sound and UUNP Bodyslide - Physics - UNP UNPB 7BB DreamGirl Seraphim and More
DX Druid Armor - SSE CBBE BodySlide (with Physics)
DX Druid Armor - UNP
DX Witch Hunter Armor - UNP
DX Witcher Swords - SE
Dynamic Animation Replacer
Dynamic Bow Animation
Dynamic Female Wall Leaning
Dynamic Impact - Slash Effects X
Ebonblade War Axe SE
Elden Power Attack Fix for MCO DXP
Elemental Fist - Brawler weapons
ELFX Shadows
ElSopa - Quivers Redone SE
Elven Silver Daggers by ClipsyMoon
Embers XD
Emeri's Presets All in One
ENB Light Inventory Fix (ELIF)
Enhanced Lights and FX
Eternal Flames
EVG Animated Traversal - Patch Collection
EVG Animated Traversal Addon for Windhelm Capital Expansion
EVG Animated Traversal Skyrim Integration Patch
Eviscerate
Experience
Experience - MCM
Expressive Facegen Morphs SE
Expressive Facial Animation - Female Edition
Facial Piercings SSE
Faction - Pit Fighter
Falconer Armor SE
Falskaar
Female Makeup Suite - Face - RaceMenu Overlays of Eyeliner EyeShadow Contours and Highlights - Special Edition
Ferrum Nibenis
Festus Krex Insideout Spell
FileAccess Interface for Skyrim SE Scripts - FISSES
Footsteps Sounds Overhaul
Functional Fearsome Fists - Innate Unarmed Boost
God of War Leviathan Axe
Goetia Animations - Magic Spell Casting
Granite Hill Village
Gravelords- Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''dark souls'')
Griffith Armour SSE fixed and updated
HDT-SMP Infantry Armor Patch
HDT-SMP Three-eyed Swallow Armor Patch
HDT-SMP Traveler's Backpack
Hearthfire multiple adoptions - Now with custom home support for kids and spouse
Hellblade - Timed Block
High Elf Archer (Goblin Slayer) - Jinxxed Followers SSE
High Minotaurs - Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''eso'')
High Poly Head SE
High-Poly Inigo Replacer
Highly Improved Male Body Overhaul
Hogwarts in Skyrim
Hot Key Skill
House Cats- Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''pet'')
Hydra's Reversed Daggers
IFrame Generator RE
Ilieh - Cry of the Damned
Immersive Diving Animation
Immersive World Encounters SE
Imps SE
Infantry Armor SE
Infinity UI
INIGO
Inquisitor HDT-SMP Armor
Inventory Interface Information Injector
Ish's Respec Mod
JaySuS Swords SE
JK's Whiterun V1.4b - SSE
JS Unique Utopia SE - Daggers
Judgement Cut End - ap05's Remake
Khajiit Eyes Extended - Khajiit Heterochromia and More
Khajiit Has Wares - A Caravan Camp Overhaul
Khajiit Overhaul SSE Unofficial Port
Knight Winds
Kurone Bell Bodyslide Preset (CBBE 3BA) And (3BA V's Cut)
Lamenthia's Marks of Beauty
Leather Armors Retexture SE
Legendary Alpha Shields
Leviathan Animations II - Female Idle Walk And Run
Leviathan Animations II - Male Idle Walk And Run
Light and Shade SE
Lupus - Swords of Hircine
Mage Backpack SSE
Magical College of Winterhold
Maleficus' Traversal (EVGAT)
Master The Summit
Max's Season 2 - RaceMenu Presets - High Poly - Low Poly - Male - Female
MEMOSPORE - UI Sound Effects
Menu Maid 2 - MCM manager
Mikan Eyes - SE
Missives
Missives - Notes Retexture
monster race crash fix
Moon Monk's Robes
Multiple Followers Framework
Mythic Dawn armor SE
Natura
New Weynon
Nicos Craftable Arrows SSE
No Recoil
No Thieves Guild Grind
Nocturnal Moths
Northern God Armor SE
Oakwood
Odium - Swords of Molag Bal
Ogres SE
Old Gods of the Hunt- Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''the witcher'')
Opulent Thieves Guild
Particle Patch for ENB
powerofthree's Papyrus Extender
Project ja-Kha'jay
Quality Over Quantity - KS Hairdo's Reduced Plus HG
QuickLoot EE
RaceMenu High Heels (Height Fixes)
Raven HDT-SMP Armor
Realistic Aspen Trees SE
Redguard F Hair Grouped and Replacer
Relationship Dialogue Overhaul - RDO SE
Reversed Daggers Moveset for MCO
Ryn's Dragon Mounds Collection
Ryn's Sleeping Giant Inn
s6o6t LORE - Dark Anchors Ruins and Dolmens
Security Overhaul SKSE - Lock Variations
Security Overhaul SKSE - Regional Locks
SG Female Eyebrows
Show Player In Menus
Silver Armor SE
Simple Dual Sheath
Sindora's Hidden Hearth
SkyALERT - Detection Meter Redesign
Skyland AIO
Skyland Blacksmith Texture Overhaul
Skyrim Immersive Creatures Special Edition
Skyrim Search SE - Simply find your missing followers
Skyshards Offer Skills - Boss Containers Grant EXP
SmoothCam
SmoothCam - EasyEase Preset
Sons of Skyrim
Sprint Sneak Movement Speed Fix
Sswaye's Revenant's Sword Moveset ADXP I MCO DAR
Stave Church of Skyrim
Store Entrance Doorbells
Storm Golem- Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''atronach'')
Storm Lightning for SSE and VR (Minty Lightning 2019)
Strange Runes
The Eyes Of Beauty SSE
The Welkynar Knight - Quest
To Your Face SE - AE - VR
Triss Armor Retextured SE
Triumvirate - Mage Archetypes
TUDM - Script Fixes
UIExtensions
Unarmed Moveset for MCO
Unique Bows Collection
Valkyr HDT-SMP Hairstyles
Vampire Beasts- Mihail Monsters and Animals (SE-AE version) (''the witcher'')
Vanguard - Bash Behaviors Overhaul
VIGILANT SEAE
VIGILANT Voiced - English Addon
Way of the Monk -Unarmed Combat - Extended
Whiterun Horse Statue
Wild Witch
Wind Ruler Armor SE
Wind Ruler Armor SE - hdt-SMP Patch
Windhelm Bridge Revived
Wyrmstooth
(ESL)HDT-SMP Daedric Armor Patch (4thUnknown Version)
3D Junipers - Trees and Berries
Adventurer HDT-SMP Armor
Air Dash Whirlwind Sprint
Airgetlam - Shouts SFX -
Airgetlam -Modern Magic Sounds Rework- 4.1 Redesigned
Better Ferns
Cabbage - A Cabbage Mod
Calling of the Conjurer
Cathedral - 3D Clover Plant
Constellation Magic
Dear Diary Dark Mode (warm text)
Diverse Dragons Collection SE (DDCse)
Dragon Animation Replace in Special Edition
DX Witcher Armor - UNP
Dynamic Fus Ro Dah
Dynamic Random Spell Idle
Dynamic Whirlwind Sprint
Elden Equip
ElSopa HD Shields Part I
Flame Atronach SE
For Honor in Skyrim I Centurion
For Honor in Skyrim I Gryphon
For Honor in Skyrim I Warden
For Honor in Skyrim I Warlord I Sword and shield I MCO Animation
Frankly HD Masque of Clavicus Vile
Frozen Electrocuted Combustion
Fuz Ro D-oh - Silent Voice
GoT Dragons (A Game of Thrones)
HDT SMP beast race tail
Instantly Skip Dialogue NG
Izba - An Herbalist's Cabin in the Woods
JK's Arcadia's Cauldron
JK's Belethor's General Goods
JK's Bits and Pieces
JK's Blue Palace
JK's Dragonsreach
JK's Palace of the Kings
JK's Radiant Raiment
JK's Skyrim
JK's The Bannered Mare
JK's The Drunken Huntsman
JK's The Winking Skeever
JRC's Witcher Style Sword Pack
Jump Behavior Overhaul SE
Jumping Attack
Kharoxia Armor
Landscapes - Cathedral Concept
League of Assassins Armor
Less Boring Loading Screens - SE-AE
Lux - Via
Markarth - City of Stone
Mysticism - A Magic Overhaul
Nirnroot by Mari
NPCs React To Invisibility
Rainbows Remade
Realistic Skin And Hair Shaders - Giants
Realistic Skin Shaders - Falmer and Hagravens
Remote Interactions
Ryn's Western Watchtower
Skyrim Platform
Spaghetti's Palaces - Dragonsreach
Spaghetti's Solstheim - Raven Rock
Spaghetti's Solstheim - Tel Mithryn
Spriggans SE
Stellaris
Storm Calling Magic
Stylish Dodge Chaos - DMCO
Taunt Your Enemies - Taunting Matters
The Forgotten City
Untarnished UI
Yggdrasil Music and SoundFX
XP32 Maximum Skeleton Special Extended
Attack MCO-DXP
Magical Jumping
Frankly HD Thieves Guild Armors
Desecration
Flames of Coldharbour
Vulcano
Nemesis Unlimited Behavior Engine
2023.06.04 02:25 _Triple_ [STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 50.000$+ INVENTORY. M9 Fade, M4 Poseidon, BFK Freehand, Crimson Kimono, Nomad Fade, Skeleton, Kara Lore, Bayo Autotronic, AWP Fade, Kara Damas, BFK Ultra, Kara Freehand, Kara Bright, M9 Damas, Omega, Tiger Strike, Flip MF, Bayo Tiger, Deagle Blaze, Talon & More
Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory
Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.
All Buyouts are listed in cash value.
KNIVES
★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500
★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822
★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616
⎯★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300
★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050
★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629
★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326
★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233
⎯★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110
★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840
★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784
★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759
⎯★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751
⎯★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156
★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544
★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318
⎯★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646
★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574
★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552
★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257
★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255
★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287
⎯★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461
★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436
★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353
★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212
★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123
★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375
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2023.06.04 01:49 mjdefrank Pressure Washer Carb Issue? (And possible solitution)
I bought my first pressure washer 2 years ago and haven't used it since that first summer. Being a new homeowner and not knowming much about engine care I very stupidly left gasoline in the tank. It will start perfectly fine and I can even turn off the choke, but when I use the sprayer it stalls immediately. Ive done enough Googling to realize it's probably the carb. I've never done a carb clean out before, but I'm fairly handy. All that being said, have two kids under 2 so time is limited for me. I found replacement OEM carburetors on Amazon for $20. Am I going to save time and effort just replacing the whole damn carb? I'm guessing I can't run some sea foam or something similar through it to help? Could it be anything else?
submitted by mjdefrank to smallengines [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 00:37 IrreliventPerogi The Fête - A First-Time Reader's Experience, Thoughts, and Theories
"Now," he whispered, "I deliver death."
That is where I broke, the preceding battle, culminating in this cliffhanger, wore me down. I am a binger by heart and habit, and despite spending the last year or so practicing portion control (of all kinds) dutifully reading slowly, able to experience multiple works and to read them more deeply for the pacing, I decided to indulge this once. IDK If I'll do so again, but for just this once, follow this first-timer's unjaded eyes through their breathless, awe-stricken, confused sprint across the last ninety pages of this book. Without further ado...
Also, if this is the passing of winter to spring, where is Gennebakis, exactly? If the top of the continent is tundra, then Darujhistan would be much further south, (which we know) so somewhere similar to North America? Is Darujhistan in Texas?
He collides with Kruppe, who drops a series of masks. The rotund mage informs his dear friend that his other ear friend, Lady Simtal, has invited him to attend the Fête. That they've never met is ironic, but irrelevant to Magnanimous Kruppe, friend to all. This whole interaction is fantastic, with Kruppe dropping many distractions, such as his mentioning five strangers without naming the fourth, or a series of cantrips, while Murillio dodges them as best he can. He confronts Kruppe point blank about beingLady Simtal disguised the Eel. Kruppe sighs, and modifies the courtier's memory, buying himself free reign for the night.
As Baruk waits for the Eel, he discusses attending the fête with Anomander Rake, who as elected to attend as the High Alchemist's +1. Many members of the Council and the T'orrud Cabal will be in attendance, and Rake wants an opportunity to meet/observe his allies. It'll also put him in the epicenter of the most likely place of Convergence on Genabakis. Rake learns of the new year's title, and correctly guesses Icarium's involvement, as he's evidently produced similar wheels elsewhere. This has quite a few implications, given that this person is evidently traveling with at least one god. They receive news that the Eel will reveal himself to them that night, (although Baruk as much as gives away that he's guessed the truth) as well as Mammot's recovery. The High Preist of D'Riss was able to get away with minimal difficulty and casually mentions that he's aware of the drama surrounding the Coin Bearer. He is also a member of the T'orrud Babal. Rake, asks whether Mammot will be attending the Fête, and then leaves abruptly. If only Baruk had read further into the odd departure.
Adjunct Lorn finally arrives at Worry Gate, witnessing the ritual mentioned in the Book's opening epigraph and being briefly noted by a guard. That guard is Circle Breaker, watching for the Adjunct for the Eel. Once done, he manages to trade a shift to be at the Fête himself. Interestingly, he tells the guard next to him his name, which we do not ever get to know (at least not in GotM)
Lorn enters a bar, and stumbles upon the Bridgeburners. Fiddler is running one of his games, which we get to see more fully here. The game is played with a Deck and depicts the scene in the Gadrobi Hills where Paran met Rake. Tattersail did believe the Sapper to be a Tallent, after all. The game ends predicting Lorn's death, this reading is affirmed by the orb. Whiskeyjack arrives and catches up Lorn with a modified version of events, including their loss of Sorry. Lorn comes to the realization that this man had debated tactics with Dassem Ultor, so there's not much she can do to break him. She asks the name of the estate and announces she will return in two hours, without dropping anything off.
Crokus and Apsalar watch the revelry escalate down below them. They discuss their plans for the evening, the thief growing ever more conflicted about his feelings. Apsalar mentions something within her holding her sanity together. It seems Rigga remains at work. Serrat, meanwhile, creeps up the steps below, comically over-warded and utilizing an abundance of caution. She's immediately thwarted by a mysterious someone, threatening with enough force on behalf of "the Prince" to drop the hunt against the Coin Bearer, with a comical pop, she disappears.
In an age of wind and barren stone, a Jaghut and his mother wander the land, scattered as all their people, thwarting the potential of collected power. A self-imposed Babel, of sorts. The child, young by Jaghut standards, grows observing the powers of the winds shape and mould the earth to their liking. He takes after this, destroying his horrified mother in the process. He starts with lone Jaghut, but they resist or else escape him, brief satisfaction, but not enough. He takes to subjugating the beasts, the winds, the earth, the plants. The earth resists and bucks the subversion of its evolved order, yet not without the death of countless species. Then he meets the Imass, thinking creatures like the Jaghut, yet comically short-lived. These he can use, confounding them in cycles of invention, war, loss, discovery, rediscovery, rediscovery, rediscovery. They invent for themselves a god at the head of all things, and he fancies it to be himself, they discover tyranny of all forms for themselves, and he laughs. A True First Empire, a gathering of minds subjugated under an unbreakable bond. Tool's history proves backward. Then come the Jaghut, unified under a force so great that it tears through even this great Tyrant like paper, and Raest was subjugated, killed, and depowered. A barrow erected, a hemisphere frozen over for good measure. In the intervening years, the T'Lan Imass gather power of their own and wage genocide against the very Titans who were their salvation. Two enter the barrow, the threadbare mind of the once-god coalesces, he is freed, his Finnest stolen. With a concussive force, Raest, the First Emperor of Man, Jaghut Tyrant, steps into a new world.
High above, the Crone watches him emerge as four Black Soultaken Dragons and the Red Dragon Silanah, fly in to stop the monster. We get some old language of some sort, possibly Jaghut? "Dragnipurake" is of course the name of the Sword plus the suffix -Rake, "Draconiaes" seems to refer to, well, dragons, "t'na" is a conjunction of some sort? And finally, Eleint, which is whatever the Dramatis Personae names Silanah. Crone flies high, ready to watch the show unfold.
Raest emerges, and casually injures Burn on his way out, nuking a range of hills in the process. He considers waking her as well. This is a walking apocalyptic event, and our dear Anomander opted to join a party. He notices the dragons, and Holy Moly the fight that ensues is great. I'd mention highlights but that'd just be a beat-by-beat. He offers the Soletaken Tiste Andii to join him, but they refuse. Also of note, he calls Silanah a "Tiem." He rebuffs their initial assault and, telekinetically holding his body together, prepares to deliver death.
Meanwhile, in the Phoenix Inn, the Eel contemplates his next moves, whilst failing to button his coat. He decides that it is time for Circle Breaker to retire, for his own safety. He suspects that someone other than himself has been protecting the Coin Bearer, while the path to ultimate safety for the boy remains elusive. Most concerningly, the patterns in his head end tonight, the outcome of this Convergence is undecided.
Crokus and Apsalar, meanwhile, leave the Temple for the Fête. To the northeast, a "storm" of low rumbling thunder and ochre clouds builds and grows ever closer. As the thief is led down from the tower by Aps, he has another internal crisis. He really doesn't know Challice, and Apsalar's constant ease within his presence is confounding. Dude, she literally took a name axiomatically aligned with your life, take a hint.
The Captain of Simtal's guards berates the Bridgeburnurs for not all being Barghast, but agrees to pay them anyways. He stations them near the garden, as it's recently gotten a bit overgrown, and instructs them to steer the crowds away. Quick Ben and Mallet update Whiskeyjack on the encroaching Tyrant, and they agree to play things by ear if the monster gets any nearer.
Kalam and Paran leave the Phoenix Inn, not after the assassin makes a major threat to Scurve to, by any means necessary contact the city's Master of Assasins with their offer. They leave to find the Adjunct and put her to rest. Kalam takes note of the Greyfaces and begins to be bothered by their movements, for some reason.
Baruk arrives with Rake at the Fête. Despite the encroaching threat, the Tiste Andii seems unbothered, relaxed even. Turban Orr watches the two arrive with Lady Simtal. The Alchemist's mask is barely sufficient. Both a denial and an admission of secret power, depending on the viewer. Rake's mask is of a smug black and silver dragon. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Anomander Rake is That Guy. Still love him, though. The Councilman introduces himself and is introduced in turn to Lord Anomander Rake. The scene plays out humorously, with Orr unaware of how wildly out of his league he is, but does contain one odd detail. Rake, despite running Moon's Spawn, considers his title to be honorary, given by his people. Murillio and Rallick, begrudgingly aware of Kruppe's perfect mask choices, watch the High Alchemist and the Councilman converse, then nearly have an aneurysm over Kruppe (whom they were just praising) and his shenanigans. Kruppe, wearing the mask of a cherub slightly less innocent than himself (although not nearly so clever) bumbles his way toward Baruk and Rake, the latter of whom displays incredulity over this possibly being the Eel. Wise and discerning Kruppe the First notes Rake's nature as an inhuman Lord from high above, and a dragon. Of course, this is all a misunderstanding, and he apologizes, betrays himself as an eel of sorts, and leaves to inspect the kitchen.
Turban Orr, meanwhile, finds himself unable to enjoy the party. The last two weeks have exhausted him, all his plans confounded, and his spy still unfound. He, at last, discovers Circle Breaker, in a chance passing, but is intercepted by a man in a Trake mask. The man practically insists on insulting the Councilman, and Orr, his temper ratcheted up by the past several days, decides to indulge his wrath on this peon. Orr calls for a duel, politically selecting Councilman D'Arle as his second. Meanwhile, Murillio draws deep on his well of suave and seduces Simtal in record time. The duel will go uninterrupted. Down by the terrace, Baruk contemplates interceeding, but declines. Curiously, he considers Rallick his closest friend, explaining the Otataral gift, but it is a shame we never go to see the two interact, there's a story there. Rake offers to be RN's second, and my hype has hit yet another threshold. Here is where I leave my desk for a mandated break, I'm not the sort of person who eats and reads, so I'm mentally cussing the entire way there and back. Baruk meets Mammot on his way to the duel and notes the scholar's accurate Jaghut mask; although Mammot recognizes minute flaws in the design, Baruk thinks nothing of this. Stranger still, despite Oppon's luck drawing Crokus to the party, it is also keeping him away from his uncle.
The Bridgeburners watch everyone filter out into the courtyard by the garden, watching the preparations for the duel. Though they notice Rake, this doesn't amount to much. Quick Ben updates the group on their timetable with the Tyrant, and they make preparations to blast the estate then the city.
Crokus finds Challice; without a method of reaching her at the moment he is distracted by the duel. Kruppe, finds the boy and nabs him while passing a note off to Circle Breaker. The note grants Circle Breaker the right to retire, as well as land and a title in the city of Dhavran (the map shows this to be along the western bank of Lake Azur) as thanks for being the Eel's most trusted servant. The circle is mended (whatever that means, there seems to be a story there) and he can at last rest. Despite everything going down in this and subsequent chapters, this storyline had me by far the most hyped. Good job man, you've earned it.
Baruk offers to referee, and the participants take their places. Turban Orr's grandstanding, and the seconds' lack of comments each take as much time as the fight itself. As everyone notes, this is not a duel, but a public murder. That Anomander Rake decides to get publicly entangled in the proceedings not to comment or contribute at all, but just to watch this fool get merc'd, strikes me as darkly funny. Orr is dead and as Rallick quietly gloats to the corpse, the scandal is broached, and the hostess is nowhere to be found. A large woman in a green dress approaches Baruk and Rake, introduced as the Witch Derudan, another member of the Cabal. Also, she has a personal servant to carry a hookah with her at all times. They leave Rake's presence to discuss some matters.
Simtal, meanwhile, finally arrises from her 30 minutes with Murillio, becoming aware of some great disturbance downstairs. She begins dressing and is interrupted by Rallick Nom entering the room. Rallick stays only long enough to convey his purpose and her situation. It is Murillio who stays a moment to watch the woman process what has become of her. Years of machinations and backroom (or perhaps, bedroom) deals all hinging on the continued support of those around her. With no one, the vultures and enemies she's made will come, likely they've already begun. Murillio leaves a dagger and grants her the privacy to escape the coming storm.
Lady Simtal, you deserved this but that doesn't make what was done to you right. What business does justice have with cruelty? Swearing by the Lady of Beggers, Murillio comes to the crashing realization of what this night has cost his soul. Coll is reinstated, yes, but at incalculable cost to his dearest friends.
Crokus, meanwhile, finally gets the opportunity to peel away from Kruppe and approach Challice, after getting the girls attention, she runs over to him, overjoyed to finally have a moment alone with...Gorlas. Panicking, Crokus does the sane thing and kidnaps her, because that'll make this run smoother, y'kow?
At the first opportunity, Circle Breaker sneaks out of the estate and into the night a free man. Passing a food-comatose Kruppe, he leaves smiling, awed by his own escape.
Despite his best attempts, Raest can do nothing to kill the creature, introducing itself as Kruppe. He informs the Tyrant that he bows to no one, Tyrant or god; in the face of such indifference, there is nothing Raest can do. Beset by a T'lan Imass from behind; despite his best efforts, Onos T'oolan cannot be bound by the Jaghut, as our dear Tool is called by an ancient call of a Bonecaster, Pran Chole's. Befuddled by such impotence on his part, Raest is befuddled further still by the appearance of another interloper, K'Rul. He initially mistakes him for Hood (which greatly alters my estimation of the god's lifespan) although he only refers to him as the Death Wanderer, as opposed to the god of Death. K'Rul warns Raest of the arrival of Anomander Rake and the new form of death he brings with him. Raest scoffs at this initially, but K'Rul makes a fascinating revelation. The flow of power between the gods and mortals has shifted, though of it the mortals are ignorant. I suppose when you have mages mastering domains and relics capable of drawing the gods who wield them, it makes sense. Anything less than omnipotence can be overmastered. K'Rul also repeats his Maker of Paths title and reveals his aspect "was the Obelisk." So he's Burn's predecessor and not Hood's. Given Burn's Sleep began nearly 1200 years ago, that gives us a roughly 800-year window for the shift, given Darujhistan's founding, whatever Crokus may say. This whole sequence is filled with even more magic technobable, but I'll move on. Title of Sword? Moved to the Realms of Chaos, K'Rul's birthplace? I'll figure it out eventually. With a hollow laugh, Raest collapses into dust, his spirit invading a new body.
Kalam and Paran creep into Simtal's garden, finding there a young woman, along with a curious structure. The woman turns out to be Sorry, yet not Sorry. Kalam prevents the Captain from killing her outright, instead ascertaining that she has no memory or deeply incomplete memories of her time in the Bridgeburners. Kalam's reaction to being called a friend is priceless. They observe the structure, a tree stump that is somehow growing from moment to moment, frustrating the eyes as it does. At this moment, one is reminded of the acorn and the Finnest. Paran leaves to fetch Mallet, wondering if the healer could aid the girl.
Rallick, gripped with a malaise he cannot account for, stumbles to leave the party. What if Coll doesn't take his old Lordship back? Would what he's done be justified even if he does? As a reader, I have to wonder, how much of the blame lies on Oppon, and how much on RN himself? Interrupting his musings, he stumbles across a disgruntled and awake Kruppe. The mage is worried, although trusts K'Rul's words that the world as it is now would be enough to put down Raest. The assassin leaves Kruppe behind and is approached by a woman in a featureless mask, who circuitously reveals herself to be Vorcan. She mentions Councilman Orr possessed protective magics that Rallick somehow trivialized. For that reason, she requires his services now. One last note on their conversation here, that RN was fine submitting to punishment helps show how defeated he is, now that his slavish devotion to the plan justifying his own humanity is over with. Defending someone else's humanity cannot serve as a substitute for your own, Rallick, and I feel you know this now.
Crokus, meanwhile, is totally bungling his attempts to speak with Challice. Promising not to hurt her, after a slew of threats, of course, he lets her speak. She reveals that she never betrayed him and that they'd always known the Rope was behind the guard's death. Horrified, Crokus reels from the revelation, wondering what exactly is going on. Chalice restates her love for Gorlas (or more tellingly, his station and his love for her) and her desire to have nothing to do with Younghand's cloak-and-dagger shenanigans. She slips up at the end, patronizing him briefly, and Crokus (more than a little hypocritically) accuses her of romanticizing the dangers of the real world. They part on the worst possible terms.
Mallet, for his part, refuses to enter the garden. Recognizing the power within and its hunger, he demands Paran bring Sorry to him. She heads to the healer smilingly, and Kalam expresses regret that she hadn't smiled before. Mallet discovers Rigga's presence within the girl, torn whether to help what little remains of the Wax Witch to integrate Sorry's history into Apsalar's consciousness safely. Paran advises the healer to trust it. Rallick, Vorcan, and Crokus all enter the glade, the latter staying hidden. Paran meets them as they discuss the stump, with Vorcan asking Rallick to sit on it and dampen its growth. It's here that Rallick just outright admits to knowing the substance he'd used was Otataral dust, rendering my whole Eureka moment a bit... moot. Also, Rallick knew what it was the whole time?! Why play coy with something you'll eventually give to us outright, Erikson? It's either a mystery or not. There have been a handful of moments like this, where a mystery will be teased and then casually solved. It - I - uh, whatever I guess. That's only the second most infuriating reveal in this chapter anyway.
Kalam offers Vorcan 900k goldendoubloons jakatas and a High Fist position to kill off the T'orrud Cabal. Paran assures her that Malazan can scare off the Son of Darkness, having done so twice before. Vorcan personally accepts the contract and after charging Rallick with sitting on the stump until a better solution can be reached, leaves to prepare for the grim task. After everyone leaves, Rallick invites Crokus out of the glade and charges the boy with warning Mammot and Baruk of their impending danger. At that moment, something occurs outside of the garden, and the stump grows past Rallick's ability to contain it.
Sensing the disturbance at the Fête, Baruk laments leaving so early. Rake assures him the situation is under control, but stops himself from revealing one other piece of information, his eyes betraying a quiet sadness. He then offers to help clear the streets for something else coming, using Dragnipur to clear a passage to K'Rul's Belfry after warning Baruk of Malazan's impending assassination attempt.
At the Fête, Raest arives. Subsuming the mind of Mammot, whom he'd imprinted upon while waking, he launches an assault upon the partygoers. Quick Ben manages to save Derudan in the initial volley, which tears through the estate in a series of propagating bolts of power. Whiskeyjack's leg is crushed under a pillar, down for the count, and Captain Paran appears to be instantly vaporized in the initial assault. Derudan and QB launch twin assaults on Raest, quickly draining the Witch.
Here we have what is likely the most vexing scene in the entire book. Or, perhaps, the start of several compoundingly vexing scenes. Paran drops into what seems to be yet another warren, a swamp of sorts, within which a T'lan Imass (likely Tool) and a wooden approximation of a Jaghut fight. Behind the Captain, a house grows out of the swamp. The Imass warns Paran that something called an Azath is not yet ready to contain the animate Finnest. Paran resolves to hold the Finnest until the Azath is made ready. Launching a blast against Paran's very soul, the Finnest circumvents even Chance, or perhaps the blade has at last betrayed him. The Finnest demands total submission, but Paran refuses. Within him, the... Blood of a Hound? wells up, refusing to be subdued. Did the souls of the Hounds follow Paran back out of Dragnipur? That was roughly when Paran's whole "no one's gonna control me" arc began in full. Anyway,Perrin Paran throws himself against the Finnest, tearing into it with fists, claws, and teeth, holding it down until he is shaken out of his blood fury. The Azath is finished and draws the Finnest below the mud. Paran is shunted out of the Warren into the material plane.
Noting Paran's return, Quick Ben assaults the Tyrant with everything he has, opening SEVEN Warrens within himself. A feat that is later noted to be theoretically impossible. He burns through the monster, reducing it to an animate, humanoid totem of ash. Raest retaliates, forcibly closing QB's Warrens one after another. QB is about to give up, before noticing Hedge, off to the side, a pyromanic grin on his face, Ben dives, covering Derudan and his ears. The sapper fires, blasting Mammot's body to smithereens. Paran runs off to inform WJ as QB notices something coalescing in the bottom of Hedge's crater.
It is then that the Azath drags the remaining spirit of Raest kicking and screaming into the garden. So, it turns out Azaths are a known force in this world, but I'll get to that later. I will note its appearance is a surprise to everybody. Was it the acorn? But if the Jaghut could seal the Finnest in an Azath, why not just go all the way? Many questions and few answers. Derudan leaves, and Fiddler and Hedge are sent off to blast the city. Kalam then finally realizes the potential danger of not only blowing up the City of Blue Fire, but of doing so at major infrastructure hubs. Took y'all long enough.
So, what was Oppon's plan for the captain? His use of Chance infuriated Hairlock and the Hounds, drawing the two together, and evidently claiming the Hounds' souls/blood in the process. Thus, Paran was able to resist the Finnest and buy the Azath time. The only issue was that is the Brother's actions in Dragnipur seemed to be surprised by the whole episode. An act? Beyond that, Paran also played half the role in freeing Sorry, thwarting Shadow's aims at Empire. j
Crokus, traumatized by the sight of Mammot possessed, burned, blown to bits, and claimed by the roots of the Azath, runs to find Baruks home. He (and the audience) can only hope that Mammot himself was released to death before the Azath took the possessed body. Running through the streets of Darujhistan, he finally comes to realize why they've emptied so. Rake has moved Moon's Spawn directly overhead, looming as if to crush the city at any moment.
The Adjunct tails the Coin Bearer, sensing the Jaghut Tyrant's death. Assuming Rake's involvement in the defeat, she releases Tayscheren's Ace in the Hole. A Lord of the Gaylen demons, powerful enough to challenge an ascendant, the intended follow-up in the one-two punch which would finish off Rake or Raest, whoever survived their clash. The Adjunct then tails the Coin Bearer further, considering the woman Lorn dead for good. She does not even consider the Adjunct human, but a tool. Lost entirely in her own justification, the Adjunct carries on.
Baruk mourns Mammot in his study. He's deduced too late that Rake knew all along, choosing to shield Baruk from the anticipation of his possessed friend's impending death. The Witch Derudan arrives, prepared to mourn with him, as an act of love. She informs Baruk of the extraordinary circumstances surrounding Mammot's death, as well as the conjuration of an Azath in Darujhistan. The specific use of the word conjuration implies something caused its appearance, though if not the acorn, I couldn't guess what. They feel the release of the demon lord, as well as two more of the Cabal members at the hand of Vorcan.
Anomander Rake, atop the belfry of K'Rul's temple. Silahnah arrives, but Rake asks she leave, she's done enough for today. K'Rul himself arrives, and the two speak of their misplaced wandering within this world. Rake knows no other life than wandering from battle to battle, yet it does not fulfill him. The elder god, having failed to receive the advice he craves, leaves the Lord to his battle. Rake watches as the Galen arises, and begins changing form. Rake then shapeshifts, rising higher, higher, higher above the city into a Silvermaned Black Dragon, more massive even than Silanah, and dives towards his ignorant prey.
The Adjunct formerly known as Lorn moves to kill the Coin Bearer at last. She's interrupted by, of all people, a member of the Crimson Guard.* Fingers, Sixth Blade of the Crimson Guard, grabs Crokus and escorts him to Baruk's place personally. During their discussion, Crokus at long last learns of his nature as the Coin Bearer, and is advised to lose the item as soon as his luck runs out. It is the CG who have been protecting the boy. After breaking away from Blues, a gravely injured Adjunct runs into Meese and Iralta, who finish her off.
* Upon review, Caladan Brood does commit some Crimson Guard members to protect the Coin Bearrer in Ch. 10 debriefing with Crone, just a bit circumlocutiously. He even names the sixth blade, and Kallor immediately takes it to mean they're interfering with Rake.
Paran comes across the Adjunct, injured beyond saving, or at least, dying faster than a healer can be acquired. She laments her ironic, inglorious death, and barely has time to marvel over Paran's return from the dead. The two share a moment of cold sympathy before her end. Paran claims the Otataral blade for himself. The Twins appear before him, begging for protection from Shadowthrone. Paran tells them off, and quietly picks up the Adjunct, returning to the Phoenix Inn.
Baruk and Derudan have set up a magical barrier, but Baruk hesitates to enter it. His hesitation buys him nothing, however, as Vorcan attacks just as the ward is shattered outside. She is forced back by a Tiste Andii assassin, Serrat, who is stabbed by the Master of Assassins. Derudan is similarly stuck down, minutely to slow to take advantage of the distraction. Baruk, fleeing, runs to the door, in which is Crokus, who is able to (luckily) land two near impossible blows against Vorcan, by way of thrown bricks. She flees, and Baruk gets up, moving to save the injured. Serrat has passed, but Baruk reveals that he is able to save Darudan by curing the white paralt in her system.* They mourn Mammot, and then the young thief leaves to find Apsalar.
*Which is also just named outright as a spider, but this one annoys me far less than the Otataral thing.
I'll skip a scene breifly to maintain momentum, but it works in the chapter as is.
Rallick watches the stump, now a house, contemplating the capture he saw earlier. He is experiencing an unaccountable euphoria, believing the house to be "right, and just." Vorcan arrives, begging Rallick to protect her, before fainting. He picks her up, and with no better ideas, runs headlong into the cognitohzardous house, disappearing to we know not where. I suspect we haven't seen the last of either Rallick Nom or Vorcan, but that is the last we see of either this book. Korlat, a Tiste Andii assassin and sister to Serrat, enters the glade. She regards the Azath edielmarn or "Pillar of Innocence" and decides against the pursuit further. To continue the hunt would be to destroy the Azath, and its youthful innocence. In this, Korlat takes after the Queen of Darkness, who defended Light when it too was youthful and innocent. Oddly, in this, Korlat morally succeeds where Rallick failed. We learn that other objects such as this exist, such as the Deadhouse in Malaz city, where Kellanved and Dancer evidently walked through its... Gates. So we know people can leave these things, giving some hope for Rallick an Vorcan's return. Also, considering the heights to which the two Ascended after entering, first through Empire then godhood, R and V may have a long road ahead of them. Who knows? as my cheaky pun earlier hinted, I'm aware of the next book's title, so we may be seeing them soon.
Back at the Phoenix Inn, Whiskeyjack contacts Dujek to update him as to the nights proceedings. Tayscheren is in a coma after what happened to the Galayn Lord, and WJ states that they'll not be taking the city, for fear of detonating the natural gas caverns beneath. This is of course, a problem. The what's left of the 2nd is loosing Pale, Caladan Brood has marched south as Dujek guessed, and brought two other armies besides with him, beyond this, Laseen has outlawed Dujek himself, as Seven Cities is to close to rebellion for him to be useful in saving it in time. The Empire has now severed its last link to the Old Guard as a result.
The Black Moranth stand with Onearm, and will pick up the Bridgeburners once they're out of the city. WJ is made Dujek's second, and Paran is placed in charge of the BBs. Hopefuly, Brood knows enough about the Pannion Seer to accept Dujek's force's continued existence. Though they're free to walk, all of WJ's squad resolves to stay with the rebels, with two slight exeptions. Kalam and Fiddler have decided to leave with Apsalar, whom they're taking home; they commit to return once that is over with. WJ notices Coll is awake, but the Lord only offers them passage out of the city in gratefulness.
The main text of the novel ends with Kruppe, Murillio, and Crokus walking towards the Phoenix Inn. Kruppe assuages Crokus's worries by reassuring him that he knows Apsalar's location, and shrugs off concerns over Rallick, speaking more to the man's likely safety. We find out Challice was saved by Gorlas, tying off that loose end, and begins to regale them with the tale of how Darujistan was saved and Coll was reinstated, with his heroic aid, of course.
I'm straining against Reddit's 40k charachter limit, so I'll give my thoughts on the Epilogue, a deeper dive into the side materials, as well as thoughts on the novel as a whole soon.
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That is where I broke, the preceding battle, culminating in this cliffhanger, wore me down. I am a binger by heart and habit, and despite spending the last year or so practicing portion control (of all kinds) dutifully reading slowly, able to experience multiple works and to read them more deeply for the pacing, I decided to indulge this once. IDK If I'll do so again, but for just this once, follow this first-timer's unjaded eyes through their breathless, awe-stricken, confused sprint across the last ninety pages of this book. Without further ado...
Epigraph
An excerpt from Faces of Darujhistan written by Maskral Jemre. The gods of Darujhistan and their faces will play extensive roles symbolically throughout the impending climax. It briefly describes the ceremonies we'll see in passing through various characters, and there's something haunting about receiving a glimpse of how the festivities ought to go and what it is that they mean.Also, if this is the passing of winter to spring, where is Gennebakis, exactly? If the top of the continent is tundra, then Darujhistan would be much further south, (which we know) so somewhere similar to North America? Is Darujhistan in Texas?
Chapter 20
The chapter that broke me, one near unbearable buildup of pressure before the dam breaks. Here, it all begins to unfold.Epigraph
An excerpt of T'Matha's Children by Heboric. It mentions the "the matron's//blood like ice" This feels like an allusion to the goddess of Darkness, with the Tiste Andii being cold, and all. Beyond that, it "brought light into dark and dark into light" so given the alleged history between Light and Dark, that works. Was this perhaps the creation of the Warren of Shadow? In which case, the "children of chaos" would be... the Hounds? Who knows!The Chapter Itself
Murillio is off to confront Kruppe, musing on the turning of the Cycle of the Age. The Year of the Five Tusks, which we've been constantly reminded it is, is now giving way to the Year of the Moon's Tears. The names bear significance according to the Seers, with the god Tennerock's tusks, Hate, Love, Laughter, War, and Tears, signifying the nature of the coming Years. The device was a gift by some guy named Icarium, whom Mammot believes to be of Jaghut blood. Evidently, the Jaghut were skilled in mechanical prowess and possibly gifted enough to predict a thousand years ahead. Moon's Spawn has arrived, after all.He collides with Kruppe, who drops a series of masks. The rotund mage informs his dear friend that his other ear friend, Lady Simtal, has invited him to attend the Fête. That they've never met is ironic, but irrelevant to Magnanimous Kruppe, friend to all. This whole interaction is fantastic, with Kruppe dropping many distractions, such as his mentioning five strangers without naming the fourth, or a series of cantrips, while Murillio dodges them as best he can. He confronts Kruppe point blank about being
As Baruk waits for the Eel, he discusses attending the fête with Anomander Rake, who as elected to attend as the High Alchemist's +1. Many members of the Council and the T'orrud Cabal will be in attendance, and Rake wants an opportunity to meet/observe his allies. It'll also put him in the epicenter of the most likely place of Convergence on Genabakis. Rake learns of the new year's title, and correctly guesses Icarium's involvement, as he's evidently produced similar wheels elsewhere. This has quite a few implications, given that this person is evidently traveling with at least one god. They receive news that the Eel will reveal himself to them that night, (although Baruk as much as gives away that he's guessed the truth) as well as Mammot's recovery. The High Preist of D'Riss was able to get away with minimal difficulty and casually mentions that he's aware of the drama surrounding the Coin Bearer. He is also a member of the T'orrud Babal. Rake, asks whether Mammot will be attending the Fête, and then leaves abruptly. If only Baruk had read further into the odd departure.
Adjunct Lorn finally arrives at Worry Gate, witnessing the ritual mentioned in the Book's opening epigraph and being briefly noted by a guard. That guard is Circle Breaker, watching for the Adjunct for the Eel. Once done, he manages to trade a shift to be at the Fête himself. Interestingly, he tells the guard next to him his name, which we do not ever get to know (at least not in GotM)
Lorn enters a bar, and stumbles upon the Bridgeburners. Fiddler is running one of his games, which we get to see more fully here. The game is played with a Deck and depicts the scene in the Gadrobi Hills where Paran met Rake. Tattersail did believe the Sapper to be a Tallent, after all. The game ends predicting Lorn's death, this reading is affirmed by the orb. Whiskeyjack arrives and catches up Lorn with a modified version of events, including their loss of Sorry. Lorn comes to the realization that this man had debated tactics with Dassem Ultor, so there's not much she can do to break him. She asks the name of the estate and announces she will return in two hours, without dropping anything off.
Crokus and Apsalar watch the revelry escalate down below them. They discuss their plans for the evening, the thief growing ever more conflicted about his feelings. Apsalar mentions something within her holding her sanity together. It seems Rigga remains at work. Serrat, meanwhile, creeps up the steps below, comically over-warded and utilizing an abundance of caution. She's immediately thwarted by a mysterious someone, threatening with enough force on behalf of "the Prince" to drop the hunt against the Coin Bearer, with a comical pop, she disappears.
In an age of wind and barren stone, a Jaghut and his mother wander the land, scattered as all their people, thwarting the potential of collected power. A self-imposed Babel, of sorts. The child, young by Jaghut standards, grows observing the powers of the winds shape and mould the earth to their liking. He takes after this, destroying his horrified mother in the process. He starts with lone Jaghut, but they resist or else escape him, brief satisfaction, but not enough. He takes to subjugating the beasts, the winds, the earth, the plants. The earth resists and bucks the subversion of its evolved order, yet not without the death of countless species. Then he meets the Imass, thinking creatures like the Jaghut, yet comically short-lived. These he can use, confounding them in cycles of invention, war, loss, discovery, rediscovery, rediscovery, rediscovery. They invent for themselves a god at the head of all things, and he fancies it to be himself, they discover tyranny of all forms for themselves, and he laughs. A True First Empire, a gathering of minds subjugated under an unbreakable bond. Tool's history proves backward. Then come the Jaghut, unified under a force so great that it tears through even this great Tyrant like paper, and Raest was subjugated, killed, and depowered. A barrow erected, a hemisphere frozen over for good measure. In the intervening years, the T'Lan Imass gather power of their own and wage genocide against the very Titans who were their salvation. Two enter the barrow, the threadbare mind of the once-god coalesces, he is freed, his Finnest stolen. With a concussive force, Raest, the First Emperor of Man, Jaghut Tyrant, steps into a new world.
High above, the Crone watches him emerge as four Black Soultaken Dragons and the Red Dragon Silanah, fly in to stop the monster. We get some old language of some sort, possibly Jaghut? "Dragnipurake" is of course the name of the Sword plus the suffix -Rake, "Draconiaes" seems to refer to, well, dragons, "t'na" is a conjunction of some sort? And finally, Eleint, which is whatever the Dramatis Personae names Silanah. Crone flies high, ready to watch the show unfold.
Raest emerges, and casually injures Burn on his way out, nuking a range of hills in the process. He considers waking her as well. This is a walking apocalyptic event, and our dear Anomander opted to join a party. He notices the dragons, and Holy Moly the fight that ensues is great. I'd mention highlights but that'd just be a beat-by-beat. He offers the Soletaken Tiste Andii to join him, but they refuse. Also of note, he calls Silanah a "Tiem." He rebuffs their initial assault and, telekinetically holding his body together, prepares to deliver death.
Chapter 21
A Chapter in two halves, beginning with our principal cast all filling into their positions for the climax, making last-minute pivots and discoveries. It ends with the fulfillment of the revenge plot against Lady Simtal and Turban Orr, and what a fulfillment it is! If only we don't feel so hollow afterwards.Epigraph
An excerpt of Anomandris which is, interestingly enough, written by Fisher, the Rumor Born guy. Also, this is like the first bit of Anomandris we've seen since Tattersail and Calot tag-teamed a quotation in Ch. 2 (which also mentions it was written by Fisher, lol) and seems to recount the initial arrival of the dragons. First contact between the dragons and Tiste Andii? Who knows! (Actually, quite a few people probably know at this point)The Chapter Itself
Lorn buries the Finnest in the garden at Simtal's estate. She observes the bustling crowds and almost breaks down at the sight. So much life reminds her of the many cities she's infiltrated before. The recollection of humanity becomes a cacophony, no one life worth any more than the millions around them. The Adjunct breaks at this, and Lorn has to will herself to don the persona again, with Sorry out of the picture, only the Coin Bearer remains. With her last chance to bail out behind her, the Adjunct begins moving towards her failure and death, foretold with certainty by the unwitting Tallent of Fiddler.Meanwhile, in the Phoenix Inn, the Eel contemplates his next moves, whilst failing to button his coat. He decides that it is time for Circle Breaker to retire, for his own safety. He suspects that someone other than himself has been protecting the Coin Bearer, while the path to ultimate safety for the boy remains elusive. Most concerningly, the patterns in his head end tonight, the outcome of this Convergence is undecided.
Crokus and Apsalar, meanwhile, leave the Temple for the Fête. To the northeast, a "storm" of low rumbling thunder and ochre clouds builds and grows ever closer. As the thief is led down from the tower by Aps, he has another internal crisis. He really doesn't know Challice, and Apsalar's constant ease within his presence is confounding. Dude, she literally took a name axiomatically aligned with your life, take a hint.
The Captain of Simtal's guards berates the Bridgeburnurs for not all being Barghast, but agrees to pay them anyways. He stations them near the garden, as it's recently gotten a bit overgrown, and instructs them to steer the crowds away. Quick Ben and Mallet update Whiskeyjack on the encroaching Tyrant, and they agree to play things by ear if the monster gets any nearer.
Kalam and Paran leave the Phoenix Inn, not after the assassin makes a major threat to Scurve to, by any means necessary contact the city's Master of Assasins with their offer. They leave to find the Adjunct and put her to rest. Kalam takes note of the Greyfaces and begins to be bothered by their movements, for some reason.
Baruk arrives with Rake at the Fête. Despite the encroaching threat, the Tiste Andii seems unbothered, relaxed even. Turban Orr watches the two arrive with Lady Simtal. The Alchemist's mask is barely sufficient. Both a denial and an admission of secret power, depending on the viewer. Rake's mask is of a smug black and silver dragon. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Anomander Rake is That Guy. Still love him, though. The Councilman introduces himself and is introduced in turn to Lord Anomander Rake. The scene plays out humorously, with Orr unaware of how wildly out of his league he is, but does contain one odd detail. Rake, despite running Moon's Spawn, considers his title to be honorary, given by his people. Murillio and Rallick, begrudgingly aware of Kruppe's perfect mask choices, watch the High Alchemist and the Councilman converse, then nearly have an aneurysm over Kruppe (whom they were just praising) and his shenanigans. Kruppe, wearing the mask of a cherub slightly less innocent than himself (although not nearly so clever) bumbles his way toward Baruk and Rake, the latter of whom displays incredulity over this possibly being the Eel. Wise and discerning Kruppe the First notes Rake's nature as an inhuman Lord from high above, and a dragon. Of course, this is all a misunderstanding, and he apologizes, betrays himself as an eel of sorts, and leaves to inspect the kitchen.
Turban Orr, meanwhile, finds himself unable to enjoy the party. The last two weeks have exhausted him, all his plans confounded, and his spy still unfound. He, at last, discovers Circle Breaker, in a chance passing, but is intercepted by a man in a Trake mask. The man practically insists on insulting the Councilman, and Orr, his temper ratcheted up by the past several days, decides to indulge his wrath on this peon. Orr calls for a duel, politically selecting Councilman D'Arle as his second. Meanwhile, Murillio draws deep on his well of suave and seduces Simtal in record time. The duel will go uninterrupted. Down by the terrace, Baruk contemplates interceeding, but declines. Curiously, he considers Rallick his closest friend, explaining the Otataral gift, but it is a shame we never go to see the two interact, there's a story there. Rake offers to be RN's second, and my hype has hit yet another threshold. Here is where I leave my desk for a mandated break, I'm not the sort of person who eats and reads, so I'm mentally cussing the entire way there and back. Baruk meets Mammot on his way to the duel and notes the scholar's accurate Jaghut mask; although Mammot recognizes minute flaws in the design, Baruk thinks nothing of this. Stranger still, despite Oppon's luck drawing Crokus to the party, it is also keeping him away from his uncle.
The Bridgeburners watch everyone filter out into the courtyard by the garden, watching the preparations for the duel. Though they notice Rake, this doesn't amount to much. Quick Ben updates the group on their timetable with the Tyrant, and they make preparations to blast the estate then the city.
Crokus finds Challice; without a method of reaching her at the moment he is distracted by the duel. Kruppe, finds the boy and nabs him while passing a note off to Circle Breaker. The note grants Circle Breaker the right to retire, as well as land and a title in the city of Dhavran (the map shows this to be along the western bank of Lake Azur) as thanks for being the Eel's most trusted servant. The circle is mended (whatever that means, there seems to be a story there) and he can at last rest. Despite everything going down in this and subsequent chapters, this storyline had me by far the most hyped. Good job man, you've earned it.
Baruk offers to referee, and the participants take their places. Turban Orr's grandstanding, and the seconds' lack of comments each take as much time as the fight itself. As everyone notes, this is not a duel, but a public murder. That Anomander Rake decides to get publicly entangled in the proceedings not to comment or contribute at all, but just to watch this fool get merc'd, strikes me as darkly funny. Orr is dead and as Rallick quietly gloats to the corpse, the scandal is broached, and the hostess is nowhere to be found. A large woman in a green dress approaches Baruk and Rake, introduced as the Witch Derudan, another member of the Cabal. Also, she has a personal servant to carry a hookah with her at all times. They leave Rake's presence to discuss some matters.
Simtal, meanwhile, finally arrises from her 30 minutes with Murillio, becoming aware of some great disturbance downstairs. She begins dressing and is interrupted by Rallick Nom entering the room. Rallick stays only long enough to convey his purpose and her situation. It is Murillio who stays a moment to watch the woman process what has become of her. Years of machinations and backroom (or perhaps, bedroom) deals all hinging on the continued support of those around her. With no one, the vultures and enemies she's made will come, likely they've already begun. Murillio leaves a dagger and grants her the privacy to escape the coming storm.
Lady Simtal, you deserved this but that doesn't make what was done to you right. What business does justice have with cruelty? Swearing by the Lady of Beggers, Murillio comes to the crashing realization of what this night has cost his soul. Coll is reinstated, yes, but at incalculable cost to his dearest friends.
Crokus, meanwhile, finally gets the opportunity to peel away from Kruppe and approach Challice, after getting the girls attention, she runs over to him, overjoyed to finally have a moment alone with...Gorlas. Panicking, Crokus does the sane thing and kidnaps her, because that'll make this run smoother, y'kow?
At the first opportunity, Circle Breaker sneaks out of the estate and into the night a free man. Passing a food-comatose Kruppe, he leaves smiling, awed by his own escape.
Chapter 22
A major action climax for a few plotlines, with a resolution I've vacillated between sour and sweet on, currently resting at sweet as I've processed things.Epigraph
A poem titled Ravens by Collitt. Acknowledging the Great Ravens as a sign of disaster, the poet fears and reveres them. Politically, this is one of my favorites thus far. Also, I love the connection between the Great Ravens and, well, normal ravens. Ravens are carrion feeders, who gather at signs of battle. Sapient Great Ravens gather at the signs of great events and cataclysmic battles, searching for "interesting" events. That's just a really fun connection.The Chapter Itself
Two of the Soultaken driven from battle, Raest prepares for his final thrust. The Gadrobi Hills are devastated, sundered by his travels and battle. He's killed a few odd creatures along his path as well, who we recognize as the garrison that helped Coll and Paran, as well as Councilman Orr's messenger to Pale. Cresting a hill, he is briefly in awe of Darujhistan, then offers Silanah one last opportunity to retreat. She makes no reply, nor is she even prepared for battle. Raest steps forward, away from Genebakis and into another time, within the dreams of a great, pudgy mage.Despite his best attempts, Raest can do nothing to kill the creature, introducing itself as Kruppe. He informs the Tyrant that he bows to no one, Tyrant or god; in the face of such indifference, there is nothing Raest can do. Beset by a T'lan Imass from behind; despite his best efforts, Onos T'oolan cannot be bound by the Jaghut, as our dear Tool is called by an ancient call of a Bonecaster, Pran Chole's. Befuddled by such impotence on his part, Raest is befuddled further still by the appearance of another interloper, K'Rul. He initially mistakes him for Hood (which greatly alters my estimation of the god's lifespan) although he only refers to him as the Death Wanderer, as opposed to the god of Death. K'Rul warns Raest of the arrival of Anomander Rake and the new form of death he brings with him. Raest scoffs at this initially, but K'Rul makes a fascinating revelation. The flow of power between the gods and mortals has shifted, though of it the mortals are ignorant. I suppose when you have mages mastering domains and relics capable of drawing the gods who wield them, it makes sense. Anything less than omnipotence can be overmastered. K'Rul also repeats his Maker of Paths title and reveals his aspect "was the Obelisk." So he's Burn's predecessor and not Hood's. Given Burn's Sleep began nearly 1200 years ago, that gives us a roughly 800-year window for the shift, given Darujhistan's founding, whatever Crokus may say. This whole sequence is filled with even more magic technobable, but I'll move on. Title of Sword? Moved to the Realms of Chaos, K'Rul's birthplace? I'll figure it out eventually. With a hollow laugh, Raest collapses into dust, his spirit invading a new body.
Kalam and Paran creep into Simtal's garden, finding there a young woman, along with a curious structure. The woman turns out to be Sorry, yet not Sorry. Kalam prevents the Captain from killing her outright, instead ascertaining that she has no memory or deeply incomplete memories of her time in the Bridgeburners. Kalam's reaction to being called a friend is priceless. They observe the structure, a tree stump that is somehow growing from moment to moment, frustrating the eyes as it does. At this moment, one is reminded of the acorn and the Finnest. Paran leaves to fetch Mallet, wondering if the healer could aid the girl.
Rallick, gripped with a malaise he cannot account for, stumbles to leave the party. What if Coll doesn't take his old Lordship back? Would what he's done be justified even if he does? As a reader, I have to wonder, how much of the blame lies on Oppon, and how much on RN himself? Interrupting his musings, he stumbles across a disgruntled and awake Kruppe. The mage is worried, although trusts K'Rul's words that the world as it is now would be enough to put down Raest. The assassin leaves Kruppe behind and is approached by a woman in a featureless mask, who circuitously reveals herself to be Vorcan. She mentions Councilman Orr possessed protective magics that Rallick somehow trivialized. For that reason, she requires his services now. One last note on their conversation here, that RN was fine submitting to punishment helps show how defeated he is, now that his slavish devotion to the plan justifying his own humanity is over with. Defending someone else's humanity cannot serve as a substitute for your own, Rallick, and I feel you know this now.
Crokus, meanwhile, is totally bungling his attempts to speak with Challice. Promising not to hurt her, after a slew of threats, of course, he lets her speak. She reveals that she never betrayed him and that they'd always known the Rope was behind the guard's death. Horrified, Crokus reels from the revelation, wondering what exactly is going on. Chalice restates her love for Gorlas (or more tellingly, his station and his love for her) and her desire to have nothing to do with Younghand's cloak-and-dagger shenanigans. She slips up at the end, patronizing him briefly, and Crokus (more than a little hypocritically) accuses her of romanticizing the dangers of the real world. They part on the worst possible terms.
Mallet, for his part, refuses to enter the garden. Recognizing the power within and its hunger, he demands Paran bring Sorry to him. She heads to the healer smilingly, and Kalam expresses regret that she hadn't smiled before. Mallet discovers Rigga's presence within the girl, torn whether to help what little remains of the Wax Witch to integrate Sorry's history into Apsalar's consciousness safely. Paran advises the healer to trust it. Rallick, Vorcan, and Crokus all enter the glade, the latter staying hidden. Paran meets them as they discuss the stump, with Vorcan asking Rallick to sit on it and dampen its growth. It's here that Rallick just outright admits to knowing the substance he'd used was Otataral dust, rendering my whole Eureka moment a bit... moot. Also, Rallick knew what it was the whole time?! Why play coy with something you'll eventually give to us outright, Erikson? It's either a mystery or not. There have been a handful of moments like this, where a mystery will be teased and then casually solved. It - I - uh, whatever I guess. That's only the second most infuriating reveal in this chapter anyway.
Kalam offers Vorcan 900k golden
Sensing the disturbance at the Fête, Baruk laments leaving so early. Rake assures him the situation is under control, but stops himself from revealing one other piece of information, his eyes betraying a quiet sadness. He then offers to help clear the streets for something else coming, using Dragnipur to clear a passage to K'Rul's Belfry after warning Baruk of Malazan's impending assassination attempt.
At the Fête, Raest arives. Subsuming the mind of Mammot, whom he'd imprinted upon while waking, he launches an assault upon the partygoers. Quick Ben manages to save Derudan in the initial volley, which tears through the estate in a series of propagating bolts of power. Whiskeyjack's leg is crushed under a pillar, down for the count, and Captain Paran appears to be instantly vaporized in the initial assault. Derudan and QB launch twin assaults on Raest, quickly draining the Witch.
Here we have what is likely the most vexing scene in the entire book. Or, perhaps, the start of several compoundingly vexing scenes. Paran drops into what seems to be yet another warren, a swamp of sorts, within which a T'lan Imass (likely Tool) and a wooden approximation of a Jaghut fight. Behind the Captain, a house grows out of the swamp. The Imass warns Paran that something called an Azath is not yet ready to contain the animate Finnest. Paran resolves to hold the Finnest until the Azath is made ready. Launching a blast against Paran's very soul, the Finnest circumvents even Chance, or perhaps the blade has at last betrayed him. The Finnest demands total submission, but Paran refuses. Within him, the... Blood of a Hound? wells up, refusing to be subdued. Did the souls of the Hounds follow Paran back out of Dragnipur? That was roughly when Paran's whole "no one's gonna control me" arc began in full. Anyway,
Noting Paran's return, Quick Ben assaults the Tyrant with everything he has, opening SEVEN Warrens within himself. A feat that is later noted to be theoretically impossible. He burns through the monster, reducing it to an animate, humanoid totem of ash. Raest retaliates, forcibly closing QB's Warrens one after another. QB is about to give up, before noticing Hedge, off to the side, a pyromanic grin on his face, Ben dives, covering Derudan and his ears. The sapper fires, blasting Mammot's body to smithereens. Paran runs off to inform WJ as QB notices something coalescing in the bottom of Hedge's crater.
It is then that the Azath drags the remaining spirit of Raest kicking and screaming into the garden. So, it turns out Azaths are a known force in this world, but I'll get to that later. I will note its appearance is a surprise to everybody. Was it the acorn? But if the Jaghut could seal the Finnest in an Azath, why not just go all the way? Many questions and few answers. Derudan leaves, and Fiddler and Hedge are sent off to blast the city. Kalam then finally realizes the potential danger of not only blowing up the City of Blue Fire, but of doing so at major infrastructure hubs. Took y'all long enough.
Chapter 23
A resolution to all but one of our action climaxes, and a final unveiling of several long-standing plans. We're solidly in the endgame now, and somehow only speeding up.Epigraph
After a long hiatus, we receive another excerpt of Call to Shadow, this one seemingly referring to Simtal's suicide. Given that the author is apparently Paran's sister, the nature of the work is becoming clearer, this is a recounting of the events here in Darujhistan. I'm a bit unclear as to why its specifically attributed to Shadow, aside from Shadow's interference being the inciting incident to all this mess. Perhaps that's sufficient, however. What we can tell from this is that Paran eventually meets with Fellisin again, despite his status as a traitor. So while we can't tell whether or not this will all have a happy ending, we can tell the Paran siblings will make it that far at least.The Chapter Itself
Paran, running through the undergrowth, is drawn into yet another Warren, ambushed by Rood. After nearly tearing the Captain apart, the Hound relents, confused by a sense of kinship. Cotilion appears, complaining that the Captain should interfere with House Shadows, especially given his growing enmity with the Empress. Even still, Cotillion will try again, correcting for the flaws of the initial plan. He considers his treatment of Sorry merciful, insofar as the necessary evil could be. Paran offers Cotillian Chance, seeing as how his luck has finally turned, and the Rope accepts with the intent to strike back at the Twins. Paran wakes back in the garden and leaves to find the Adjunct.So, what was Oppon's plan for the captain? His use of Chance infuriated Hairlock and the Hounds, drawing the two together, and evidently claiming the Hounds' souls/blood in the process. Thus, Paran was able to resist the Finnest and buy the Azath time. The only issue was that is the Brother's actions in Dragnipur seemed to be surprised by the whole episode. An act? Beyond that, Paran also played half the role in freeing Sorry, thwarting Shadow's aims at Empire. j
Crokus, traumatized by the sight of Mammot possessed, burned, blown to bits, and claimed by the roots of the Azath, runs to find Baruks home. He (and the audience) can only hope that Mammot himself was released to death before the Azath took the possessed body. Running through the streets of Darujhistan, he finally comes to realize why they've emptied so. Rake has moved Moon's Spawn directly overhead, looming as if to crush the city at any moment.
The Adjunct tails the Coin Bearer, sensing the Jaghut Tyrant's death. Assuming Rake's involvement in the defeat, she releases Tayscheren's Ace in the Hole. A Lord of the Gaylen demons, powerful enough to challenge an ascendant, the intended follow-up in the one-two punch which would finish off Rake or Raest, whoever survived their clash. The Adjunct then tails the Coin Bearer further, considering the woman Lorn dead for good. She does not even consider the Adjunct human, but a tool. Lost entirely in her own justification, the Adjunct carries on.
Baruk mourns Mammot in his study. He's deduced too late that Rake knew all along, choosing to shield Baruk from the anticipation of his possessed friend's impending death. The Witch Derudan arrives, prepared to mourn with him, as an act of love. She informs Baruk of the extraordinary circumstances surrounding Mammot's death, as well as the conjuration of an Azath in Darujhistan. The specific use of the word conjuration implies something caused its appearance, though if not the acorn, I couldn't guess what. They feel the release of the demon lord, as well as two more of the Cabal members at the hand of Vorcan.
Anomander Rake, atop the belfry of K'Rul's temple. Silahnah arrives, but Rake asks she leave, she's done enough for today. K'Rul himself arrives, and the two speak of their misplaced wandering within this world. Rake knows no other life than wandering from battle to battle, yet it does not fulfill him. The elder god, having failed to receive the advice he craves, leaves the Lord to his battle. Rake watches as the Galen arises, and begins changing form. Rake then shapeshifts, rising higher, higher, higher above the city into a Silvermaned Black Dragon, more massive even than Silanah, and dives towards his ignorant prey.
The Adjunct formerly known as Lorn moves to kill the Coin Bearer at last. She's interrupted by, of all people, a member of the Crimson Guard.* Fingers, Sixth Blade of the Crimson Guard, grabs Crokus and escorts him to Baruk's place personally. During their discussion, Crokus at long last learns of his nature as the Coin Bearer, and is advised to lose the item as soon as his luck runs out. It is the CG who have been protecting the boy. After breaking away from Blues, a gravely injured Adjunct runs into Meese and Iralta, who finish her off.
* Upon review, Caladan Brood does commit some Crimson Guard members to protect the Coin Bearrer in Ch. 10 debriefing with Crone, just a bit circumlocutiously. He even names the sixth blade, and Kallor immediately takes it to mean they're interfering with Rake.
Paran comes across the Adjunct, injured beyond saving, or at least, dying faster than a healer can be acquired. She laments her ironic, inglorious death, and barely has time to marvel over Paran's return from the dead. The two share a moment of cold sympathy before her end. Paran claims the Otataral blade for himself. The Twins appear before him, begging for protection from Shadowthrone. Paran tells them off, and quietly picks up the Adjunct, returning to the Phoenix Inn.
Chapter 24
The breathless end of it all, flowing almost immediately into subsequent adventures. Anything I'm not fully satisfied with is at least spoken to, promising further resolution or explanation later.Epigraph
An excerpt of a poem titled Azath by Adaephon. Written as if narrated by the titular entity, the poem speaks a bit about their purpose. Both a lure and a prison to the power-crazed, an endless prison in a world where death is trivialized to the powerful. It is interesting how much of a known entity these are, despite us not hearing about them until well after its arrival, and that no one (outside of possibly Rake) considered the Convergence would produce one. Ah, well.The Chapter Itself
Crokus cannot enter Baruk's compound, being frustrated by the High Alchemist's wards. Fortunately, he has one last bit of luck. The Demon Lord crashes to the ground, slammed by Rake's assault from above. The crash shatters the gate and any potential wards. Both dragons shift back to their base forms, and the Galayn taunts Rake. Crokus feels someone walk up behind him, and the Lord of Moon's Spawn asks that Crokus flees. He notes that he is speaking with the Coin Bearer, but Brood's "request" and the impending fight save the lad. Rake and the Demon Lord fight, sword to axe, and while the contest isn't quite the spectacle of Raest soloing five dragons, its pretty great. We even get a bit of lore out of it. It seems indeed that some version of the story Tool told Lorn was true, Dark birthed Light, but then light was corrupted. Demons being corrupted denizens of Light is, well, exactly on brand, so that tracks. Crokus watches in horror as the Galayn Lord is subsumed into the black blade. AR then turns with exhaustion to the lad, and asks him to warn Baruk of the impending danger.Baruk and Derudan have set up a magical barrier, but Baruk hesitates to enter it. His hesitation buys him nothing, however, as Vorcan attacks just as the ward is shattered outside. She is forced back by a Tiste Andii assassin, Serrat, who is stabbed by the Master of Assassins. Derudan is similarly stuck down, minutely to slow to take advantage of the distraction. Baruk, fleeing, runs to the door, in which is Crokus, who is able to (luckily) land two near impossible blows against Vorcan, by way of thrown bricks. She flees, and Baruk gets up, moving to save the injured. Serrat has passed, but Baruk reveals that he is able to save Darudan by curing the white paralt in her system.* They mourn Mammot, and then the young thief leaves to find Apsalar.
*Which is also just named outright as a spider, but this one annoys me far less than the Otataral thing.
I'll skip a scene breifly to maintain momentum, but it works in the chapter as is.
Rallick watches the stump, now a house, contemplating the capture he saw earlier. He is experiencing an unaccountable euphoria, believing the house to be "right, and just." Vorcan arrives, begging Rallick to protect her, before fainting. He picks her up, and with no better ideas, runs headlong into the cognitohzardous house, disappearing to we know not where. I suspect we haven't seen the last of either Rallick Nom or Vorcan, but that is the last we see of either this book. Korlat, a Tiste Andii assassin and sister to Serrat, enters the glade. She regards the Azath edielmarn or "Pillar of Innocence" and decides against the pursuit further. To continue the hunt would be to destroy the Azath, and its youthful innocence. In this, Korlat takes after the Queen of Darkness, who defended Light when it too was youthful and innocent. Oddly, in this, Korlat morally succeeds where Rallick failed. We learn that other objects such as this exist, such as the Deadhouse in Malaz city, where Kellanved and Dancer evidently walked through its... Gates. So we know people can leave these things, giving some hope for Rallick an Vorcan's return. Also, considering the heights to which the two Ascended after entering, first through Empire then godhood, R and V may have a long road ahead of them. Who knows? as my cheaky pun earlier hinted, I'm aware of the next book's title, so we may be seeing them soon.
Back at the Phoenix Inn, Whiskeyjack contacts Dujek to update him as to the nights proceedings. Tayscheren is in a coma after what happened to the Galayn Lord, and WJ states that they'll not be taking the city, for fear of detonating the natural gas caverns beneath. This is of course, a problem. The what's left of the 2nd is loosing Pale, Caladan Brood has marched south as Dujek guessed, and brought two other armies besides with him, beyond this, Laseen has outlawed Dujek himself, as Seven Cities is to close to rebellion for him to be useful in saving it in time. The Empire has now severed its last link to the Old Guard as a result.
The Black Moranth stand with Onearm, and will pick up the Bridgeburners once they're out of the city. WJ is made Dujek's second, and Paran is placed in charge of the BBs. Hopefuly, Brood knows enough about the Pannion Seer to accept Dujek's force's continued existence. Though they're free to walk, all of WJ's squad resolves to stay with the rebels, with two slight exeptions. Kalam and Fiddler have decided to leave with Apsalar, whom they're taking home; they commit to return once that is over with. WJ notices Coll is awake, but the Lord only offers them passage out of the city in gratefulness.
The main text of the novel ends with Kruppe, Murillio, and Crokus walking towards the Phoenix Inn. Kruppe assuages Crokus's worries by reassuring him that he knows Apsalar's location, and shrugs off concerns over Rallick, speaking more to the man's likely safety. We find out Challice was saved by Gorlas, tying off that loose end, and begins to regale them with the tale of how Darujistan was saved and Coll was reinstated, with his heroic aid, of course.
Book 7: The Fête
An excellent climax all around, pulling out every stop. While the initial experience was a bit jarring, with all the revelations, I am satisfied as I've let it sit. On the whole, I probably prefer a slower reading pace, but once I committed to finishing the whole thing, I was fine riding it out.I'm straining against Reddit's 40k charachter limit, so I'll give my thoughts on the Epilogue, a deeper dive into the side materials, as well as thoughts on the novel as a whole soon.
2023.06.03 23:49 xDauntlessZ Electric pressure washer and foam cannon
I currently wash my car weekly with a water hose and foam cannon. Possibly looking to upgrade to a small electric pressure washer and a foam cannon. I am new to detailing, I’ve taken every other car but this one through touchless washes for cleaning.
I’ve done a little bit of research and it seems like GPM means more than PSI, but the safe zone for washing cars is 1000-2000PSI. Can anyone recommended a budget electric pressure washer? I don’t need the best, just need it to clean the car (won’t really be using it for anything else).
submitted by xDauntlessZ to Detailing [link] [comments]
I’ve done a little bit of research and it seems like GPM means more than PSI, but the safe zone for washing cars is 1000-2000PSI. Can anyone recommended a budget electric pressure washer? I don’t need the best, just need it to clean the car (won’t really be using it for anything else).
2023.06.03 23:16 _Triple_ [STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 50.000$+ INVENTORY. M9 Fade, M4 Poseidon, BFK Freehand, Crimson Kimono, Nomad Fade, Skeleton, Kara Lore, Bayo Autotronic, AWP Fade, Kara Damas, BFK Ultra, Kara Freehand, Kara Bright, M9 Damas, Omega, Tiger Strike, Flip MF, Bayo Tiger, Deagle Blaze, Talon & More
Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory
Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.
All Buyouts are listed in cash value.
KNIVES
★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500
★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822
★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616
⎯★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300
★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050
★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629
★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326
★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233
⎯★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110
★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840
★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784
★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759
⎯★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751
⎯★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156
★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544
★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318
⎯★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646
★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574
★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552
★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257
★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255
★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287
⎯★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461
★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436
★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353
★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212
★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123
★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375
★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363
★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269
★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192
★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159
★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126
⎯★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616
★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412
★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227
⎯★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214
★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192
★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105
⎯★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216
★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198
★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111
⎯★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368
★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228
★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201
★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108
★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105
★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99
★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85
⎯★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700
★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223
★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203
★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191
★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138
★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111
⎯★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146
★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168
⎯★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476
★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375
⎯★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137
★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608
★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305
★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97
GLOVES
★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204
★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
⎯★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215
★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140
★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137
★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75
⎯★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359
★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229
★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77
★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48
⎯★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739
★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733
★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292
⎯★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212
★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160
★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101
⎯★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59
⎯★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62
WEAPONS
AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130
AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70
AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72
⎯AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP Duality FN, B/O: $81
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive FT, B/O: $55
⎯Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $623
Desert Eagle Emerald Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $241
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Printstream FT, B/O: $54
⎯M4A1-S Blue Phosphor FN, B/O: $434
StatTrak™ M4A1-S Bright Water MW, B/O: $55
⎯M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1465
M4A4 Asiimov BS, B/O: $55
M4A4 Hellfire MW, B/O: $50
⎯USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $72
USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69
StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $139
⎯AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $234
P90 Run and Hide FT, B/O: $147
Five-SeveN Candy Apple FN, B/O: $61
Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory
Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.
Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.
Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.
2023.06.03 22:34 suentendo Ryobi 600psi 18v EzClean pressure washer - metal wand nearly impossible to insert!
Hello.
I've had this pressure washer for a little over a year. It does the job but I like to take it apart after using, for ease of storage, and because I probably should anyway. It never felt easy and satisfying but over time it became almost impossible to insert the metal wand back into the washer. Today I had to put almost my entire bodyweight on it to make it go in.
I did notice the rubber gasket on that end of the wand looks dry and basically done for (I wonder if that's a sign of excessive compressing force on it) - will replace it ASAP if I must keep the washer like that but my question is if this is normal or should I activate the warranty?
Or should I just like, err... lube it up? Does someone have this washer and want to chime in about if it works smoothly (regarding this specific issue)?
submitted by suentendo to ryobi [link] [comments]
I've had this pressure washer for a little over a year. It does the job but I like to take it apart after using, for ease of storage, and because I probably should anyway. It never felt easy and satisfying but over time it became almost impossible to insert the metal wand back into the washer. Today I had to put almost my entire bodyweight on it to make it go in.
I did notice the rubber gasket on that end of the wand looks dry and basically done for (I wonder if that's a sign of excessive compressing force on it) - will replace it ASAP if I must keep the washer like that but my question is if this is normal or should I activate the warranty?
Or should I just like, err... lube it up? Does someone have this washer and want to chime in about if it works smoothly (regarding this specific issue)?
2023.06.03 21:41 EmbarasedMispeller Ryobi 2300 PSI Pressure Washer only worked once?
Hello all, I just bought a Ryobi RY142300 2300 PSI Pressure Washer and it appears I followed the instructions correctly as I was able to get the device to run properly on the first try and tested the stream on my concrete driveway and it worked well! It’s kinda silly but my girlfriend wanted a before/after pic so I turned it off, moved it around, took my picture and then when I went to turn it back on there was no engine noise and the stream was not pressurized at all. The power cord has a green light which appears when I press reset and disappears when I press test. The power button turns blue when depressed but other than that does not sound like it’s running. I never turned off the water supply. Circuit breaker is in the on position for the power outlet I am using.
Before I return it I figured I’d ask if anyone’s bought this device before and had this issue, and if so what was their resolution to the problem?
Thanks!
submitted by EmbarasedMispeller to ryobi [link] [comments]
Before I return it I figured I’d ask if anyone’s bought this device before and had this issue, and if so what was their resolution to the problem?
Thanks!
2023.06.03 21:23 girl_from_the_crypt Stuck on earth and looking for a job: I'm being recruited by a cult
It’s nice not to be alone. I’ve been staying at Nettie Peterson’s house, tending to her garden in her stead while she's at work. I just sit there reading in the sun, to be honest. When she came back from the larvae today, she was in a surprisingly peaceful mood. Not exactly happy or content, but satisfied. I made us some tea and we settled in to soak up the flowery scents and sweet air. I took the time to tell her in detail about meeting Kit Sutton in the grotto, relaying the other woman’s message. It got a genuinely warm smile out of her; a sad one, but a smile nonetheless.
“Your server texted me earlier to apologize for… well, basically outing me and baring a private secret to my closest friend of five years,” she informed me. “Now that I think about it, I have no idea when or how that boy got my number… Oh, but he was sweet. I told him we were cool.” She took a long sip of her tea.
"Don't forgive him for my sake. If that's what's happening here."
"It's not."
"You really aren't mad anymore? I would be."
"I guess I'm just a very forgiving person." She gave me a sidelong grin and a shrug.
"Nettie, how'd your breeders die? I don't know if this is okay to ask. I hope it is."
"Uh." My savior human took a deep breath. "That, um… it's okay. Just unexpected. It was a car accident. That's all there is to it. I was at summer camp when it happened. Some college kid got drunk, sat down in his car and made me an orphan. I was thirteen… My auntie took care of me afterwards. You know, Elijah's mom. She tried, but it wasn't the same. She was too much for me sometimes, pretty often, if I'm being honest. My mother was so, so different. Both my parents were. My dad had made it into money, so they were never really worried about my future or what I wanted to do with my life. They said I'd always have their support. I guess that made me kinda sheltered but… I don't know. I had a nice childhood, sue me."
She sighed. "Anyways, my aunt was really demanding when it came to school and stuff. I was always a good student but my grades dropped after my parents' crash, and it never got better. So she was picking fights over that all the time. I did recover over my last year, but no thanks to her, I'll have you know."
"And do you miss them?"
"Of course I do. Who wouldn't?"
I shrugged.
Nettie leaned forward, catching my eyes. "Don't you miss your parents? Or was that different where you're from?"
"Breeders aren't like that at home." I paused. "Weren't. They protected their offspring for the first couple years of their life, but afterwards, everyone went their own way. And it was never more than that, just protection and a supply of nutrients. You wouldn't find any breeders kissing or cuddling their young like people do here."
"Oh. That's kinda sad."
"It's it? I never thought about it. Although sometimes I figure infancy in this dimension would have been a pleasant experience. It's nice being held. I wouldn't have minded it, had I known that feeling sooner." I raised my head to smile at her. "Then again, you've given me a lot in that regard."
Nettie reached out to squeeze my hand. "Baby girl." She said nothing else for a while. "So, what's this about Eli having to get his car fixed?"
"One of the windows got smashed in." I held her gently searching gaze. "Nothing was taken."
"Baby girl."
"Hm?"
"Baby. Girl."
I groaned. "A folder. With an interrogation transcript from one of the murder cultists. Mary Markov gave it to me."
"And you didn't want to tell me this why?"
I pursed my lips.
Nettie Peterson crossed her arms, raising a brow at me. "I came clean about dating the fishwoman, so you really owe it to me to keep me informed on any magical stalkers you got."
"I don't know that I'd call them a stalker."
"What would you call them?"
"Jewel." My hand absently began tracing lines on my stomach. "That's their name, apparently."
"The creep who hit on you and then disemboweled you?"
"I don't know that they disemboweled me."
"They had to stuff your guts back in at the clinic," my savior human reminded me.
"Stop bringing that up, please." I feel so weak whenever I think about them. Totally helpless. I took a deep, cleansing breath before settling against the backrest of my chair, grounding myself. Then I unpacked.
I'm turning into a regular unreliable narrator with my storytelling for this blog, aren't I. As you may or may not have guessed, there is another reason for me staying over at Nettie's the last couple days. Maybe she sensed it somehow—she claims to have mother's intuition, and even though she's not technically my parent, I believe her. Or perhaps Elijah Carter shared his suspicions with her. Either way, it's true. I seem to have acquired a stalker. I can't hold down a job but at least I've got that going for me. Let me stay over at the beginning.
The day after Eli and I had talked to Kit in the grotto—referring to her as Princess Chandra still doesn't feel right—I was driving out for gas. The whole time while I was filling up my car, I had this feeling that I was being watched. It was beyond uncomfortable, and I kept glancing into the rearview mirror during the drive back. I thought I could hear the roar of a motorcycle, but whenever I tried to focus on the sound or started looking for the source, it seemed to be escaping me. I double-checked whether I'd locked my door that night. In fact, I triple-checked. I was on edge. It was an eerie, uncanny sensation, like bugs crawling beneath my skin. I made dinner, then tried to sit still as I ate it in front of my television.
I ended up calling Elijah. We didn't talk about anything important, but he was glad to stay on the phone with me while I washed up and got ready for bed. It might have been his pleasing dark baritone or the weary relaxation that always swings along when he speaks, but something about his voice helped me unwind. I ended up falling asleep while still on the call. I was faintly aware of him saying my name and then chuckling and hanging up when he received a snore in response.
I have always enjoyed the transition into the sleeping state. My eyelids growing heavier, the world losing focus, my mind drifting off… It's such a soothing, peaceful process. I've found that I dislike dreaming, though. You never know what you get. I've had all sorts of rattling dreams, ranging anywhere from nightmarish and homesick to sexually confusing. But this one truly took the cake, as they say.
It started with me walking through an unfamiliar neighborhood that looked like an abstraction of my own. It was far too shiny and colorful, and not in an aesthetically pleasing way. I was not really walking either—my feet were heavy as lead, my bare skin unprotected from the harsh breeze assaulting my body. I kept staggering forward, aimless and confused, wishing for shelter but unsure of where to find it. My head was reeling from the hunger and desperation, and there was not a soul in sight to help. I started knocking on random doors, but nobody opened. House by house, I was getting increasingly frustrated. The knocks turned into incessant pounding, the sound mingling with my crying. The tears blurring my vision made it even harder to press on. Before long, I was weeping intensely, my steps becoming more frantic as I continued heading from door to door.
Why was nobody answering me? I could hear people talking in hushed voices behind the walls, I could see their silhouettes flitting to and fro in the windows. Anger began to bubble up inside me, heating up my chest and constricting my throat. My fist became more forceful as it clashed with the surface of each door, until I started to throw my whole body against them. My sobs turned into howls of fury, I was beginning to yell obscenities and outlandish threats before finally, my body started to turn. This wasn’t the silent transition I was used to, however.
I could feel my skin rip open as it gave way for my tentacles to spring free. Normally, it’s like these extra appendages simply melt out of my body. It’s not painful, and I don’t even really pay attention to the sensation most of the time. But this, this was pure agony. I broke down in the middle of the street, wailing like a creature of myth. How could a dream give me this kind of anguish? I suppose I knew deep down that I was dreaming, and I willed myself to wake up, to emerge from this state…
That’s when a thought crossed my mind. Was this really a dream?
It didn’t seem like one. It felt way too real and structured, almost coming off as scripted. Like an experience that someone had thought up and planned out for me, vaguely meaningful, maybe in an attempt to prove some kind of point, maybe just to terrorize me. The realization had my blood run cold, and that little part of my conscience that was aware of this not being real went wild. What in the world was happening to me? Who was doing this to me, and just how? And yet, a spark of fight lit up within me over it all. I had to tear myself out of this trance by any means necessary.
For a moment, I managed to push aside the pain and uncertainty, trying to focus. I pushed against the heaviness of sleep, through the fog of my clouded mind. Apparently, that was enough. The surreal, unnaturally bright world around me grew dark and I could once more make out the familiar shadowy outlines of my bedroom. I was in the present, back in the actual, physical realm of the waking.
The first thing I noticed was that my eyes were burning. There was a demanding pressure around my brows and lids, and my heart sank when I realized it was fingers peeling them open. My nightlight provided a soft blue sheen that came to rest on a chair that had been pushed up from my bedside, and furthermore, on the figure that occupied it. Their arms were extended, their hands resting on both sides of my face as they forced my eyes open. In the gentle cerulean glow, I recognized the shimmering vast irises of the cultist.
A deep, almost primal fear took hold of me. This was worse than the not-dream, a thousand times worse. The cold that seeped into my bones at the mere sight of them sent shivers running up and down my spine, trickling through my body like electric shocks.
I instantly started thrashing, or I would have liked to; except not a single muscle in my body would respond to the frantic outcries of my frenzied mind. My eyeballs had gone as dry as sandpaper, the painful sting penetrating my vision and setting my senses ablaze, paired with an accompanying feeling of nausea. And yet, I couldn’t help but remain transfixed on that horrid stare piercing into mine. My lips parted a mere fracture of an inch, just enough for me to take in a ragged, wheezing breath that I’d meant to give way to a shout. Not a single sound left my parched throat, though. Still, the cultist appeared to notice that I was awake.
With a sigh, they withdrew, releasing my eyes for me to blink furiously. The moment they averted their gaze, I covered my face with my hands, aggravated tears wetting my trembling palms. “You piece of shit,” I pressed out the second I regained my voice. “You fucking piece of shit…” I found myself unable to form any clear thoughts. My heart was thundering in my chest, my ears were ringing—I was a horrified, shaking mess.
“I didn’t think you’d wake up.” There was genuine astonishment in their tone. “Proper shame, too, I was just getting started.”
“What the fuck,” I breathed, still shielding my face. “How the hell did you get in here? Why… just… just why—what even was that?”
“What, you think doors keep me out? What a very human notion.”
I was slowly beginning to recover my wits, reason restoring to her throne. I squeezed my eyes shut, opening my mouth as my fangs came out. “You’re not getting out of here alive.”
“Calm down, okay? I was just having some fun. I was going to let you wake up, alright?” their disembodied voice came from my bedside. “I’m here to talk, is all.”
I vaguely turned my head in their direction. I knew I shouldn’t even bother, I should rip the bastard’s throat out now that I had the chance. There was something there, though; something in their words intrigued me. Besides, they could have easily killed me in my sleep, so why didn’t they? There was something they were after. I figured I would have to tell Mary Markov about this, and the more information I’d be able to give her, the better. “This feels like a fever dream,” I muttered.
“Doesn’t it?” Jewel asked giddily. “I get that a lot.”
“Speak then, leech. What is going on here?”
“I came to—Oh, will you open your eyes already? I’m not gonna try anything else, I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“Don’t you dare mock me.” I tried to mask the tremor in my voice. “Either you talk now or I swear I’ll skin you.”
“Okay, well. I’m here on behalf of the Collective. You have one week to report to the warehouse. We’ll have someone waiting there to welcome you. Simply put, you’ll join our cause. But you know, you can sleep on it or whatever. Take your time. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision soon, especially since there’s only the one option, really.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Part of me considered the possibility of all of this merely being part of another, bigger dream, but sadly, everything seemed to point against it. “What if I don’t?”
“Then we will come after you and probably the rest of your little found family, too,” Jewel explained nonchalantly.
“You’re awfully sure I’d let you.”
“Yes, yes, you grow big, sharp teeth and tentacles, I get it. You’re a menace. To three to four people. But if you’re up against half a dozen, all armed and unintimidated by your admittedly glorious and utterly terrifying appearance, I imagine things would be different.”
I wanted to offer some sort of confident riposte, but I simply couldn’t. A tiny voice inside my head actually agreed. “So what is your cause? Or are you aiming to recruit me based on fear alone?”
“Oh, not at all—I was just getting there. We want to, in essence, end all things.”
A brief silence settled upon us. I dropped my hands to lock eyes with Jewel, this time without any hypnotic side effects. They were beaming at me, my nightlight adding an unearthly quality to their bright, dimpling smile.
“What?”
Jewel’s grin grew wider. “Oh, you heard me, baby. We want to… we will bring about the apocalypse. It’s not going to be easy, and it’s not going to be fast. It’d be a boon if we had another being such as yourself at our side for it.”
“Another?”
Impossibly, the corners of the cultist’s mouth curled even further, their eyes shining with mirth. They tossed their pale blond hair, responding only with a huff of laughter.
“You,” I whispered. “You too.” I swallowed, reaching up to massage my throbbing temples. “Why do you want this world to end? You aren’t native to it, right? But do you really hate it that much?”
“Oh, it’s not that I hate it. I just don’t care for it all that much. Okay, listen, it’s not gonna be a real apocalypse. It’s just gonna look like it for a moment. And sure, the humans may or may not survive—they probably won’t, not gonna lie—but it’ll be for the greater good, and the two of us are gonna make it for sure.”
I frowned. “What?”
“You keep saying that.”
“Yes, because you aren’t making any sense. I don’t get what you’re trying to tell me.”
Jewel sighed. “Well, I can’t give you everything. Just… just trust me. You’ll want to be on our side, you’re gonna want to help us. Again, you literally have no other choice, so… yeah.”
“You know, I’ve been asked to go on a murderous rampage by someone far more attractive before, and I still said no.”
“Oh, you won’t be doing any of the killing. Not much, at any rate.”
“That’s a great comfort to me,” I said, without much sarcasm at all.
Jewel tilted their head at me. “I gotta admit, I do not get you. I kinda wish I did, though. Anyways, I guess I’ll leave you to it, then. Goodnight.”
“So you’ll head right out now? Just like that?”
They twinkled at me. “Want me to stay?”
“Oh, Lord, no.”
“Yeah, well, if you wanna fight now, I gotta disappoint you. I’m not feeling up to it.”
I wanted to tell them that it was not their decision to make, that I wouldn’t let them leave, but somehow, I thought better of it. Quelling the anger raging inside of me, I strained to keep my tone calm. “What was your home like? What kind of a dimension are you from?”
The question seemed to catch them off guard. “Please don’t ask me things like that.”
“Why?”
“You… just stop.” Their voice had suddenly become brittle and quiet. I’d rattled them. A warm feeling of glorious triumph surged through me like a wave.
“Do you remember what they called you back there? I don’t. Maybe we didn’t even have names, I really don’t know anymore.” I shrugged.
Jewel rose to their feet a little too quickly. Their eyes were shining with moisture, and before they could wipe them dry, a single tear rolled down their cheek. To my complete astonishment, it hardened the second it dropped off their chin, forming a tiny, sparkling yellow stone. They caught it with practiced precision, hastily stuffing it into the pocket of their jeans. “‘Scuse me, I, uh… I gotta go. See you soon.” Without losing another word, they headed out into the living room, and after another moment, I heard the front door slam. The noise of a motorcycle engine revving was carried in on the breeze through my open window a minute later.
I stayed seated upright in my bed, staring blankly at the wall across from me.
Thus ended my retelling of events to Nettie Peterson, taking us back into the garden. She regarded me with wide eyes, her jaw slackened. She then shook her head, letting out a string of incoherent murmurs as she sank back into her seat. “I don’t believe this,” she breathed. “What… what are you gonna do about this? You’re not seriously gonna go along with what that psycho wants from you, right? Have you told the agency yet?”
“No,” I admitted. “And I haven’t been to the warehouse either. My week is not up yet, so that’s probably okay… I really don’t know what to do, though.”
“Well, that’s an easy one. You call this Markov-lady, have her raid the warehouse and arrest every last one of those freaks she can find!”
“But they won’t leave it at that. They’ll come after me. And you, too.”
“Don’t worry about me. I can hold my own.n” lg
“I’m not saying you can’t, but—”
“No buts. I’ll be fine. Both of us will be. And I hope you know I won’t have you going back to your apartment after this. You’re staying here with me, where it’s safe.” Her eyes looked almost golden in the light of the setting sun. “Let's go back inside. It’s time I showed you where I hide my guns.”
I pursed my lips. “Gun-s? As in plural?”
“Oh, absolutely.” She took me by the hand, pulling me to my feet with a melodic hum falling from her lips.
I know I have a lot going on in my life right now, but Lord, am I grateful that this woman’s in it.
X
1
2: deadbeat roommate
3: creepy crush
4: relocation
5: beach concert
6: First date
7: Temp work
8: roommate talk
9: a dismal worldview
10: warehouse
11: staircase
12: explanation
13: hurt
14: hospital
15: ocean
16: diner
17: government work
18: something in the caves
19: shopping cart
20: olms and Jewels
21: long hair
submitted by girl_from_the_crypt to nosleep [link] [comments]
“Your server texted me earlier to apologize for… well, basically outing me and baring a private secret to my closest friend of five years,” she informed me. “Now that I think about it, I have no idea when or how that boy got my number… Oh, but he was sweet. I told him we were cool.” She took a long sip of her tea.
"Don't forgive him for my sake. If that's what's happening here."
"It's not."
"You really aren't mad anymore? I would be."
"I guess I'm just a very forgiving person." She gave me a sidelong grin and a shrug.
"Nettie, how'd your breeders die? I don't know if this is okay to ask. I hope it is."
"Uh." My savior human took a deep breath. "That, um… it's okay. Just unexpected. It was a car accident. That's all there is to it. I was at summer camp when it happened. Some college kid got drunk, sat down in his car and made me an orphan. I was thirteen… My auntie took care of me afterwards. You know, Elijah's mom. She tried, but it wasn't the same. She was too much for me sometimes, pretty often, if I'm being honest. My mother was so, so different. Both my parents were. My dad had made it into money, so they were never really worried about my future or what I wanted to do with my life. They said I'd always have their support. I guess that made me kinda sheltered but… I don't know. I had a nice childhood, sue me."
She sighed. "Anyways, my aunt was really demanding when it came to school and stuff. I was always a good student but my grades dropped after my parents' crash, and it never got better. So she was picking fights over that all the time. I did recover over my last year, but no thanks to her, I'll have you know."
"And do you miss them?"
"Of course I do. Who wouldn't?"
I shrugged.
Nettie leaned forward, catching my eyes. "Don't you miss your parents? Or was that different where you're from?"
"Breeders aren't like that at home." I paused. "Weren't. They protected their offspring for the first couple years of their life, but afterwards, everyone went their own way. And it was never more than that, just protection and a supply of nutrients. You wouldn't find any breeders kissing or cuddling their young like people do here."
"Oh. That's kinda sad."
"It's it? I never thought about it. Although sometimes I figure infancy in this dimension would have been a pleasant experience. It's nice being held. I wouldn't have minded it, had I known that feeling sooner." I raised my head to smile at her. "Then again, you've given me a lot in that regard."
Nettie reached out to squeeze my hand. "Baby girl." She said nothing else for a while. "So, what's this about Eli having to get his car fixed?"
"One of the windows got smashed in." I held her gently searching gaze. "Nothing was taken."
"Baby girl."
"Hm?"
"Baby. Girl."
I groaned. "A folder. With an interrogation transcript from one of the murder cultists. Mary Markov gave it to me."
"And you didn't want to tell me this why?"
I pursed my lips.
Nettie Peterson crossed her arms, raising a brow at me. "I came clean about dating the fishwoman, so you really owe it to me to keep me informed on any magical stalkers you got."
"I don't know that I'd call them a stalker."
"What would you call them?"
"Jewel." My hand absently began tracing lines on my stomach. "That's their name, apparently."
"The creep who hit on you and then disemboweled you?"
"I don't know that they disemboweled me."
"They had to stuff your guts back in at the clinic," my savior human reminded me.
"Stop bringing that up, please." I feel so weak whenever I think about them. Totally helpless. I took a deep, cleansing breath before settling against the backrest of my chair, grounding myself. Then I unpacked.
I'm turning into a regular unreliable narrator with my storytelling for this blog, aren't I. As you may or may not have guessed, there is another reason for me staying over at Nettie's the last couple days. Maybe she sensed it somehow—she claims to have mother's intuition, and even though she's not technically my parent, I believe her. Or perhaps Elijah Carter shared his suspicions with her. Either way, it's true. I seem to have acquired a stalker. I can't hold down a job but at least I've got that going for me. Let me stay over at the beginning.
The day after Eli and I had talked to Kit in the grotto—referring to her as Princess Chandra still doesn't feel right—I was driving out for gas. The whole time while I was filling up my car, I had this feeling that I was being watched. It was beyond uncomfortable, and I kept glancing into the rearview mirror during the drive back. I thought I could hear the roar of a motorcycle, but whenever I tried to focus on the sound or started looking for the source, it seemed to be escaping me. I double-checked whether I'd locked my door that night. In fact, I triple-checked. I was on edge. It was an eerie, uncanny sensation, like bugs crawling beneath my skin. I made dinner, then tried to sit still as I ate it in front of my television.
I ended up calling Elijah. We didn't talk about anything important, but he was glad to stay on the phone with me while I washed up and got ready for bed. It might have been his pleasing dark baritone or the weary relaxation that always swings along when he speaks, but something about his voice helped me unwind. I ended up falling asleep while still on the call. I was faintly aware of him saying my name and then chuckling and hanging up when he received a snore in response.
I have always enjoyed the transition into the sleeping state. My eyelids growing heavier, the world losing focus, my mind drifting off… It's such a soothing, peaceful process. I've found that I dislike dreaming, though. You never know what you get. I've had all sorts of rattling dreams, ranging anywhere from nightmarish and homesick to sexually confusing. But this one truly took the cake, as they say.
It started with me walking through an unfamiliar neighborhood that looked like an abstraction of my own. It was far too shiny and colorful, and not in an aesthetically pleasing way. I was not really walking either—my feet were heavy as lead, my bare skin unprotected from the harsh breeze assaulting my body. I kept staggering forward, aimless and confused, wishing for shelter but unsure of where to find it. My head was reeling from the hunger and desperation, and there was not a soul in sight to help. I started knocking on random doors, but nobody opened. House by house, I was getting increasingly frustrated. The knocks turned into incessant pounding, the sound mingling with my crying. The tears blurring my vision made it even harder to press on. Before long, I was weeping intensely, my steps becoming more frantic as I continued heading from door to door.
Why was nobody answering me? I could hear people talking in hushed voices behind the walls, I could see their silhouettes flitting to and fro in the windows. Anger began to bubble up inside me, heating up my chest and constricting my throat. My fist became more forceful as it clashed with the surface of each door, until I started to throw my whole body against them. My sobs turned into howls of fury, I was beginning to yell obscenities and outlandish threats before finally, my body started to turn. This wasn’t the silent transition I was used to, however.
I could feel my skin rip open as it gave way for my tentacles to spring free. Normally, it’s like these extra appendages simply melt out of my body. It’s not painful, and I don’t even really pay attention to the sensation most of the time. But this, this was pure agony. I broke down in the middle of the street, wailing like a creature of myth. How could a dream give me this kind of anguish? I suppose I knew deep down that I was dreaming, and I willed myself to wake up, to emerge from this state…
That’s when a thought crossed my mind. Was this really a dream?
It didn’t seem like one. It felt way too real and structured, almost coming off as scripted. Like an experience that someone had thought up and planned out for me, vaguely meaningful, maybe in an attempt to prove some kind of point, maybe just to terrorize me. The realization had my blood run cold, and that little part of my conscience that was aware of this not being real went wild. What in the world was happening to me? Who was doing this to me, and just how? And yet, a spark of fight lit up within me over it all. I had to tear myself out of this trance by any means necessary.
For a moment, I managed to push aside the pain and uncertainty, trying to focus. I pushed against the heaviness of sleep, through the fog of my clouded mind. Apparently, that was enough. The surreal, unnaturally bright world around me grew dark and I could once more make out the familiar shadowy outlines of my bedroom. I was in the present, back in the actual, physical realm of the waking.
The first thing I noticed was that my eyes were burning. There was a demanding pressure around my brows and lids, and my heart sank when I realized it was fingers peeling them open. My nightlight provided a soft blue sheen that came to rest on a chair that had been pushed up from my bedside, and furthermore, on the figure that occupied it. Their arms were extended, their hands resting on both sides of my face as they forced my eyes open. In the gentle cerulean glow, I recognized the shimmering vast irises of the cultist.
A deep, almost primal fear took hold of me. This was worse than the not-dream, a thousand times worse. The cold that seeped into my bones at the mere sight of them sent shivers running up and down my spine, trickling through my body like electric shocks.
I instantly started thrashing, or I would have liked to; except not a single muscle in my body would respond to the frantic outcries of my frenzied mind. My eyeballs had gone as dry as sandpaper, the painful sting penetrating my vision and setting my senses ablaze, paired with an accompanying feeling of nausea. And yet, I couldn’t help but remain transfixed on that horrid stare piercing into mine. My lips parted a mere fracture of an inch, just enough for me to take in a ragged, wheezing breath that I’d meant to give way to a shout. Not a single sound left my parched throat, though. Still, the cultist appeared to notice that I was awake.
With a sigh, they withdrew, releasing my eyes for me to blink furiously. The moment they averted their gaze, I covered my face with my hands, aggravated tears wetting my trembling palms. “You piece of shit,” I pressed out the second I regained my voice. “You fucking piece of shit…” I found myself unable to form any clear thoughts. My heart was thundering in my chest, my ears were ringing—I was a horrified, shaking mess.
“I didn’t think you’d wake up.” There was genuine astonishment in their tone. “Proper shame, too, I was just getting started.”
“What the fuck,” I breathed, still shielding my face. “How the hell did you get in here? Why… just… just why—what even was that?”
“What, you think doors keep me out? What a very human notion.”
I was slowly beginning to recover my wits, reason restoring to her throne. I squeezed my eyes shut, opening my mouth as my fangs came out. “You’re not getting out of here alive.”
“Calm down, okay? I was just having some fun. I was going to let you wake up, alright?” their disembodied voice came from my bedside. “I’m here to talk, is all.”
I vaguely turned my head in their direction. I knew I shouldn’t even bother, I should rip the bastard’s throat out now that I had the chance. There was something there, though; something in their words intrigued me. Besides, they could have easily killed me in my sleep, so why didn’t they? There was something they were after. I figured I would have to tell Mary Markov about this, and the more information I’d be able to give her, the better. “This feels like a fever dream,” I muttered.
“Doesn’t it?” Jewel asked giddily. “I get that a lot.”
“Speak then, leech. What is going on here?”
“I came to—Oh, will you open your eyes already? I’m not gonna try anything else, I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“Don’t you dare mock me.” I tried to mask the tremor in my voice. “Either you talk now or I swear I’ll skin you.”
“Okay, well. I’m here on behalf of the Collective. You have one week to report to the warehouse. We’ll have someone waiting there to welcome you. Simply put, you’ll join our cause. But you know, you can sleep on it or whatever. Take your time. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision soon, especially since there’s only the one option, really.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Part of me considered the possibility of all of this merely being part of another, bigger dream, but sadly, everything seemed to point against it. “What if I don’t?”
“Then we will come after you and probably the rest of your little found family, too,” Jewel explained nonchalantly.
“You’re awfully sure I’d let you.”
“Yes, yes, you grow big, sharp teeth and tentacles, I get it. You’re a menace. To three to four people. But if you’re up against half a dozen, all armed and unintimidated by your admittedly glorious and utterly terrifying appearance, I imagine things would be different.”
I wanted to offer some sort of confident riposte, but I simply couldn’t. A tiny voice inside my head actually agreed. “So what is your cause? Or are you aiming to recruit me based on fear alone?”
“Oh, not at all—I was just getting there. We want to, in essence, end all things.”
A brief silence settled upon us. I dropped my hands to lock eyes with Jewel, this time without any hypnotic side effects. They were beaming at me, my nightlight adding an unearthly quality to their bright, dimpling smile.
“What?”
Jewel’s grin grew wider. “Oh, you heard me, baby. We want to… we will bring about the apocalypse. It’s not going to be easy, and it’s not going to be fast. It’d be a boon if we had another being such as yourself at our side for it.”
“Another?”
Impossibly, the corners of the cultist’s mouth curled even further, their eyes shining with mirth. They tossed their pale blond hair, responding only with a huff of laughter.
“You,” I whispered. “You too.” I swallowed, reaching up to massage my throbbing temples. “Why do you want this world to end? You aren’t native to it, right? But do you really hate it that much?”
“Oh, it’s not that I hate it. I just don’t care for it all that much. Okay, listen, it’s not gonna be a real apocalypse. It’s just gonna look like it for a moment. And sure, the humans may or may not survive—they probably won’t, not gonna lie—but it’ll be for the greater good, and the two of us are gonna make it for sure.”
I frowned. “What?”
“You keep saying that.”
“Yes, because you aren’t making any sense. I don’t get what you’re trying to tell me.”
Jewel sighed. “Well, I can’t give you everything. Just… just trust me. You’ll want to be on our side, you’re gonna want to help us. Again, you literally have no other choice, so… yeah.”
“You know, I’ve been asked to go on a murderous rampage by someone far more attractive before, and I still said no.”
“Oh, you won’t be doing any of the killing. Not much, at any rate.”
“That’s a great comfort to me,” I said, without much sarcasm at all.
Jewel tilted their head at me. “I gotta admit, I do not get you. I kinda wish I did, though. Anyways, I guess I’ll leave you to it, then. Goodnight.”
“So you’ll head right out now? Just like that?”
They twinkled at me. “Want me to stay?”
“Oh, Lord, no.”
“Yeah, well, if you wanna fight now, I gotta disappoint you. I’m not feeling up to it.”
I wanted to tell them that it was not their decision to make, that I wouldn’t let them leave, but somehow, I thought better of it. Quelling the anger raging inside of me, I strained to keep my tone calm. “What was your home like? What kind of a dimension are you from?”
The question seemed to catch them off guard. “Please don’t ask me things like that.”
“Why?”
“You… just stop.” Their voice had suddenly become brittle and quiet. I’d rattled them. A warm feeling of glorious triumph surged through me like a wave.
“Do you remember what they called you back there? I don’t. Maybe we didn’t even have names, I really don’t know anymore.” I shrugged.
Jewel rose to their feet a little too quickly. Their eyes were shining with moisture, and before they could wipe them dry, a single tear rolled down their cheek. To my complete astonishment, it hardened the second it dropped off their chin, forming a tiny, sparkling yellow stone. They caught it with practiced precision, hastily stuffing it into the pocket of their jeans. “‘Scuse me, I, uh… I gotta go. See you soon.” Without losing another word, they headed out into the living room, and after another moment, I heard the front door slam. The noise of a motorcycle engine revving was carried in on the breeze through my open window a minute later.
I stayed seated upright in my bed, staring blankly at the wall across from me.
Thus ended my retelling of events to Nettie Peterson, taking us back into the garden. She regarded me with wide eyes, her jaw slackened. She then shook her head, letting out a string of incoherent murmurs as she sank back into her seat. “I don’t believe this,” she breathed. “What… what are you gonna do about this? You’re not seriously gonna go along with what that psycho wants from you, right? Have you told the agency yet?”
“No,” I admitted. “And I haven’t been to the warehouse either. My week is not up yet, so that’s probably okay… I really don’t know what to do, though.”
“Well, that’s an easy one. You call this Markov-lady, have her raid the warehouse and arrest every last one of those freaks she can find!”
“But they won’t leave it at that. They’ll come after me. And you, too.”
“Don’t worry about me. I can hold my own.n” lg
“I’m not saying you can’t, but—”
“No buts. I’ll be fine. Both of us will be. And I hope you know I won’t have you going back to your apartment after this. You’re staying here with me, where it’s safe.” Her eyes looked almost golden in the light of the setting sun. “Let's go back inside. It’s time I showed you where I hide my guns.”
I pursed my lips. “Gun-s? As in plural?”
“Oh, absolutely.” She took me by the hand, pulling me to my feet with a melodic hum falling from her lips.
I know I have a lot going on in my life right now, but Lord, am I grateful that this woman’s in it.
X
1
2: deadbeat roommate
3: creepy crush
4: relocation
5: beach concert
6: First date
7: Temp work
8: roommate talk
9: a dismal worldview
10: warehouse
11: staircase
12: explanation
13: hurt
14: hospital
15: ocean
16: diner
17: government work
18: something in the caves
19: shopping cart
20: olms and Jewels
21: long hair