Imma need my shirt back lyrics
Eminem_2 but even better
2018.07.30 18:16 thiccdiccman-1 Eminem_2 but even better
best sub ever and we have no mods besides me so yeh its good
2018.06.28 06:31 JaySaladJay Jaden Gang official HQ
ill work on this
2018.02.04 07:35 Malkinx Your friendly neighborhood Korean rep proxy
A cheap and easy place to get clothes from Korea
2023.06.04 18:20 Better_Apartment2021 Mom is being dramatic about me wanting to fix my damaged hair.
TLDR: story time about how my hair got damaged due to my mom’s negligence to my natural hair and how Im slowly trying to progress to going natural.
So my mom is very narcissistic I can’t even say controlling atp. She’s very afraid of me looking like a guy in any sense. Me personally idgaf about my gender representation as long as I'm happy. But she refuses to let me take care of my hair because of it among other reasons. My mother had stated since we were young she hated doing our hair and got herself locs for the reason she can’t do hers. To be honest I’m glad she stopped because she would threaten to cut our hair when she got tired or to lock it because she didn’t want to do it.
I honestly think its rooted in jealousy because she tells me when I asked her once to just loc my hair she said try all the styles out there before you decide. But then goes to tell me I have no right to do anything with my hair like make up your mind.
So, I got my hair straightened a lot as a kid. But add on getting relaxer at some point without my consent at the hairdressers 🙂. Probably aware of the result but as I got into high school I didn’t realize how bad it was. I got comments from my friends even that my hair was even dry and brittle in its straight state. It was (still kind of is) so frayed at the ends and super dense and not moisturized it feels and looks awful in its natural state. That caused a wave of insecurities when I realized, unlike my other black peers I was going through it with my hair.
Tbh it was probably hurtful at the time but I’m thankful my friends informed me because my hair would be in a horrible state right now. I'm almost 16 and feel like I need to be able to do things with my hair if my mom doesn’t even want to bother. She already complains about getting my hair straightened, complained about my hair getting braided, and now complained about me trying to cut it so I can have healthy hair.
I started to get braids because I was like until my hair grows out or I cut it I'm not going to straighten it anymore. So I get braids a couple of times and my hair got better I got a silk press at a black-owned salon rather than the one in my home town which probably should’ve never been an option. They managed to maintain my hair and not make it worse and even my sisters did as well. But still, the hometown salon had already done so much damage to our hair that when if we went anywhere else there wouldn’t be much change.
So about 2-3 months ago got my hair braided by a family friend so she cut my hair because she has years of experience doing hair and trims and styles natural hair all the time. She trimmed it and cut a good bit because, for the life of me, I couldn’t stand the pain from the brittleness and drynesses and my very sensitive scalp.
So when I told my mom she was like “wtf omg your hair never going to grow back and when it doesn’t I'm going to laugh at you” or “Your hair was long the straight pieces are just normal”. The only reason my hair wasn’t growing back was that her neglectful self never wanted to do my hair or teach me. Plus she never even bought the supplies to style our hair as a kid maybe some moisturizer to style it.
If my dog gets his hair done more than mine there's a problem. But she pretty much manipulated me to feel bad about my choice of hair and my health.
So she then apologizes. Then a month later when I take my hair out she ask me again what I want to do with my hair I tell her I want it cut. She goes on and tells me just grow it out and I'm not gonna pay money to get your hair braided if you keep cutting your hair. ( she doesn’t pay shit to get my hair done lmao my dad pays).
One reason she didn’t want my hair natural was that I have eczema and it affects my head so build-up will occur. Like ok, then I’ll wash it? My hair is dry makes it even worse. But she also wouldn’t buy many things for my 4b-4c hair because my sister needed it and because her hair was more manageable because it was less costly with looser curls. I think she honestly hates my hair because she talks about my dad's hair and my sisters and praises it like it's the best hair texture ever and mine is no comment.
Now flash forward to this week I go to my Aunt and she has lots to do. So she graciously offered to style my hair and I said yes. She essentially told me as well to cut my hair. if multiple people are telling me to cut my hair there is something wrong. I mean I think short hair is really cute and nothing is wrong with it,but she just seems to think black fem people can’t have short hair without looking masculine🤷🏾.
Thankfully she gave me some information on how to fix it because I looked fucking goofy before that. Also how to wash it in general because all I had was just shampoo and conditioner under my sink nothing else ☠️. Thankfully my dad said he was going to go to the store once we got back home so if you guys have any tips on what to buy that would be great 🫶🏾. Or any other advice as well.
submitted by Better_Apartment2021 to Naturalhair [link] [comments]
So my mom is very narcissistic I can’t even say controlling atp. She’s very afraid of me looking like a guy in any sense. Me personally idgaf about my gender representation as long as I'm happy. But she refuses to let me take care of my hair because of it among other reasons. My mother had stated since we were young she hated doing our hair and got herself locs for the reason she can’t do hers. To be honest I’m glad she stopped because she would threaten to cut our hair when she got tired or to lock it because she didn’t want to do it.
I honestly think its rooted in jealousy because she tells me when I asked her once to just loc my hair she said try all the styles out there before you decide. But then goes to tell me I have no right to do anything with my hair like make up your mind.
So, I got my hair straightened a lot as a kid. But add on getting relaxer at some point without my consent at the hairdressers 🙂. Probably aware of the result but as I got into high school I didn’t realize how bad it was. I got comments from my friends even that my hair was even dry and brittle in its straight state. It was (still kind of is) so frayed at the ends and super dense and not moisturized it feels and looks awful in its natural state. That caused a wave of insecurities when I realized, unlike my other black peers I was going through it with my hair.
Tbh it was probably hurtful at the time but I’m thankful my friends informed me because my hair would be in a horrible state right now. I'm almost 16 and feel like I need to be able to do things with my hair if my mom doesn’t even want to bother. She already complains about getting my hair straightened, complained about my hair getting braided, and now complained about me trying to cut it so I can have healthy hair.
I started to get braids because I was like until my hair grows out or I cut it I'm not going to straighten it anymore. So I get braids a couple of times and my hair got better I got a silk press at a black-owned salon rather than the one in my home town which probably should’ve never been an option. They managed to maintain my hair and not make it worse and even my sisters did as well. But still, the hometown salon had already done so much damage to our hair that when if we went anywhere else there wouldn’t be much change.
So about 2-3 months ago got my hair braided by a family friend so she cut my hair because she has years of experience doing hair and trims and styles natural hair all the time. She trimmed it and cut a good bit because, for the life of me, I couldn’t stand the pain from the brittleness and drynesses and my very sensitive scalp.
So when I told my mom she was like “wtf omg your hair never going to grow back and when it doesn’t I'm going to laugh at you” or “Your hair was long the straight pieces are just normal”. The only reason my hair wasn’t growing back was that her neglectful self never wanted to do my hair or teach me. Plus she never even bought the supplies to style our hair as a kid maybe some moisturizer to style it.
If my dog gets his hair done more than mine there's a problem. But she pretty much manipulated me to feel bad about my choice of hair and my health.
So she then apologizes. Then a month later when I take my hair out she ask me again what I want to do with my hair I tell her I want it cut. She goes on and tells me just grow it out and I'm not gonna pay money to get your hair braided if you keep cutting your hair. ( she doesn’t pay shit to get my hair done lmao my dad pays).
One reason she didn’t want my hair natural was that I have eczema and it affects my head so build-up will occur. Like ok, then I’ll wash it? My hair is dry makes it even worse. But she also wouldn’t buy many things for my 4b-4c hair because my sister needed it and because her hair was more manageable because it was less costly with looser curls. I think she honestly hates my hair because she talks about my dad's hair and my sisters and praises it like it's the best hair texture ever and mine is no comment.
Now flash forward to this week I go to my Aunt and she has lots to do. So she graciously offered to style my hair and I said yes. She essentially told me as well to cut my hair. if multiple people are telling me to cut my hair there is something wrong. I mean I think short hair is really cute and nothing is wrong with it,but she just seems to think black fem people can’t have short hair without looking masculine🤷🏾.
Thankfully she gave me some information on how to fix it because I looked fucking goofy before that. Also how to wash it in general because all I had was just shampoo and conditioner under my sink nothing else ☠️. Thankfully my dad said he was going to go to the store once we got back home so if you guys have any tips on what to buy that would be great 🫶🏾. Or any other advice as well.
2023.06.04 18:20 ConsiderationUpper91 So I finished the doc…
Jason was raised in Hollywood, and he was responsible for his family’s livelihood as a kid. And, somehow, he still turned out a decent human being. He’s been vocal about his struggles, and I could tell he’s working every single day to be a man he can live with. That’s hella admirable.
And I hate that Hollywood has made him criticize his body, but he seems to be finding what-could-be-called peace, and that’s rare in show business.
I didn’t know Will Arnett before I started the pod, but I noticed how much he’d mention Amy. From the doc, it’s clear how much family means to him, especially being a dad. I think the separation and divorce were really, really hard for him, so I’m glad he found his way forward.
And Sean… Sean yanks on my heart strings. I can tell he laughs when something hurts him, and that hurts me. Yeah, they all joke, but Sean gets joked on, he doesn’t really joke back. And his personality is a little softer, so I hope he knows he’s loved and appreciated. I know he’s got Scotty, but I hope he gets what he needs from his friends, too.
And Kevin Hart deserves a nut punch. But as a smaller guy, he’s been fighting his whole life, and he doesn’t know that he doesn’t have to keep fighting. He already won.
Also, I think it’s hilarious that they invited an astrophysicist to a late night show and wondered why people weren’t “into it.”
Lastly, I appreciate Sean’s place on the show. As a gay white man, he understands the need for lifting up voices other people would overlook. Plus, he appears to have built deeper connections to folks in the industry, and that’s awesome in a space of shallowness and vapid narcissism.
submitted by ConsiderationUpper91 to smartless [link] [comments]
And I hate that Hollywood has made him criticize his body, but he seems to be finding what-could-be-called peace, and that’s rare in show business.
I didn’t know Will Arnett before I started the pod, but I noticed how much he’d mention Amy. From the doc, it’s clear how much family means to him, especially being a dad. I think the separation and divorce were really, really hard for him, so I’m glad he found his way forward.
And Sean… Sean yanks on my heart strings. I can tell he laughs when something hurts him, and that hurts me. Yeah, they all joke, but Sean gets joked on, he doesn’t really joke back. And his personality is a little softer, so I hope he knows he’s loved and appreciated. I know he’s got Scotty, but I hope he gets what he needs from his friends, too.
And Kevin Hart deserves a nut punch. But as a smaller guy, he’s been fighting his whole life, and he doesn’t know that he doesn’t have to keep fighting. He already won.
Also, I think it’s hilarious that they invited an astrophysicist to a late night show and wondered why people weren’t “into it.”
Lastly, I appreciate Sean’s place on the show. As a gay white man, he understands the need for lifting up voices other people would overlook. Plus, he appears to have built deeper connections to folks in the industry, and that’s awesome in a space of shallowness and vapid narcissism.
2023.06.04 18:20 No_Advertising2238 My dad and my nana doesnt like me switching religions and they are scared for my "soul"
Im 23 female and genderfluid and Im switching religions because my beliefs have changed. I did tell my parents about it months ago while having a breakdown ik that wasn't mature so please in the replies dont reply about it please cause I know it was immature of me for doing that. Then months after I tell my sibling 20 soon to be 21 female thinking that I would trust her then on June 3rd I got a call from my Nana it was normal at first then within minutes of the call she asked me if I was doing "satanic/evil" stuff I told her no then asked me if I was saved and stuff and I said yes then I hung up and layed on my bed and cried then hours later on the 3rd of june she texted me this What are you doing. I talked to your dad today. He was telling me that you were into some things bad. Worshipping things you should not be doing. Emerald that breaks my heart. You need to get your life back on track and stop doing things that you should not be involved in. I love you so much and it really breaks my heart that I may not see you in heaven. What should I do I want to folliw my own belif and path but I feel like Im an evil b word so what should I do. You can give me any helpful advice but do not make me repent or threaten me hell cause if you do then I will block you and Im using my username to protect my privacy and I did not mention my dad's name, my sister's name, and my Nana's name to protect their privacy. Also I love dad its just he needs to understand that Im switching religions cause my beliefs has changed I know he is afraid and so is my nana and I respect that cause its normal to fear for your child even if they are adults its just that my dad and my nana could have done it diffrently by praying for me instead. Sorry for writing a long paragraph its just I have alot to say and remember advice replies only no religious replies please cause Im already depressed enough so please no religious replies! Advice replies are fine and make sure that your advice is clear,kind, and helpful please and thank you. Im not doing this for attention this actually happened and I do need advice on this. Have great whatever time zone your in
submitted by No_Advertising2238 to helpme [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 18:19 AlexGreatvalure Old friend
Old friends
I’m +18 and so should you
Hi!! Hope you’re doing fine :) So I had this roleplay idea in mind for a little. Here is the plot. You were my ex’s bestfriend and I fell in love for you after a while. I decided to break up with my ex even tho you told be we would never be together. We spent a whole summer together like bestfriends, even tho I was so madly in love. But you always denied having feelings even after the breakup. Time has passed and each of us had someone and I kinda decided to step back to not suffer anymore. But after our new breakup we see each other again at a party. What’s next ?
Your character would be a kinda tortured student, lost in what he need and what he feels, impulsive and sanguine. Mine would be a nice student, funny and dynamic but always an hopeless romantic.
Discord would be great !
submitted by AlexGreatvalure to roleplaying [link] [comments]
I’m +18 and so should you
Hi!! Hope you’re doing fine :) So I had this roleplay idea in mind for a little. Here is the plot. You were my ex’s bestfriend and I fell in love for you after a while. I decided to break up with my ex even tho you told be we would never be together. We spent a whole summer together like bestfriends, even tho I was so madly in love. But you always denied having feelings even after the breakup. Time has passed and each of us had someone and I kinda decided to step back to not suffer anymore. But after our new breakup we see each other again at a party. What’s next ?
Your character would be a kinda tortured student, lost in what he need and what he feels, impulsive and sanguine. Mine would be a nice student, funny and dynamic but always an hopeless romantic.
Discord would be great !
2023.06.04 18:19 Glass_Assumption6760 help with dog food
hey there I am hoping someone might be able to help me get a bag of food for my dog I am homeless currently in annapolis, rn we are walking on west st toward McDonald's. he is not picky at all any kind of dry food, things are rough we had been staying in my car but i cant get it to start up this morning so also looking for someone who can buy cars with no title. i would appreciate the help so much. any if you cant come here but could possibly help my cash app is $jerrym790 i really just need to get dog food ty so much, we'll be at McDonald's outside for a while im in a green shirt
submitted by Glass_Assumption6760 to Annapolis [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 18:18 Kanye_Z-143 Why is my CPM crazy high (please help)
So for the past month ive been running all my different ad sets under different campaigns (structure would be 1 campaign, 1 adset, 4-6 ads each)
I've heard a few times now that I should have all my adsets under one campaign so I made a new campaign and duplicated the other adsets into it.
After doing this my CTR and CPC have been worse then even the first days of the other campaigns. Its only been three days but im looking at like $4 cpc vs $2
My CPM has also skyrocketed. For expample, one of my ads now cost $127 per 1000 impression vs the $15 it costed in the other campaign. I have no idea why any of this is happening. Adsets are the same, creatives are the same, just now all under one campaign.
My question is do I just need to give it longer to learn? Could it just be learning slower then the others did? Or should I go back to having 1 adset per campagin?
Any advice would be really appreciated. Im pretty new to facebook ads
submitted by Kanye_Z-143 to FacebookAds [link] [comments]
I've heard a few times now that I should have all my adsets under one campaign so I made a new campaign and duplicated the other adsets into it.
After doing this my CTR and CPC have been worse then even the first days of the other campaigns. Its only been three days but im looking at like $4 cpc vs $2
My CPM has also skyrocketed. For expample, one of my ads now cost $127 per 1000 impression vs the $15 it costed in the other campaign. I have no idea why any of this is happening. Adsets are the same, creatives are the same, just now all under one campaign.
My question is do I just need to give it longer to learn? Could it just be learning slower then the others did? Or should I go back to having 1 adset per campagin?
Any advice would be really appreciated. Im pretty new to facebook ads
2023.06.04 18:17 OctagonalEmu Does anyone know of any spare rooms currently available within Hertfordshire?
Due to him wanting to turn my flag into an AirBnB, my landlord has given me notice to leave my flat. I need to be out by June 25th. I have been looking at places to move into with spare rooms but so far haven't found anywhere (I am continuously looking). As a result, I thought I'd ask here in case anyone knows of anywhere that was looking for someone.
As for information about myself, I'm gonna be completely transparent and say that my personal circumstances are not great right now. Due to various things that have happened to me in the last few months (most of which were things that were beyond my control), I don't have a lot of money. However, I of course want to rectify that and am continuously looking for work (also, I should hopefully be getting the deposit for my flat back, which should keep me going for at least a good few weeks). My current plan is to find somewhere to live and then get a nearby job (i.e. retail, working in a restaurant, ect) so that I am at least getting some money.
I also do freelance acting work, so it is possible that I may occasionally land a job for a day or so that pays very well.
As for how much rent I am willing to pay, I am willing to pay no more than £700 a month.
If anyone knows of anywhere that has a spare room available within Hertfordshire, please let me know. Though I completely understand that there might not be anyone here who is able to help. If this post gets ignored, then that's totally fine.
Hope you're all doing good 😊
submitted by OctagonalEmu to hertfordshire [link] [comments]
As for information about myself, I'm gonna be completely transparent and say that my personal circumstances are not great right now. Due to various things that have happened to me in the last few months (most of which were things that were beyond my control), I don't have a lot of money. However, I of course want to rectify that and am continuously looking for work (also, I should hopefully be getting the deposit for my flat back, which should keep me going for at least a good few weeks). My current plan is to find somewhere to live and then get a nearby job (i.e. retail, working in a restaurant, ect) so that I am at least getting some money.
I also do freelance acting work, so it is possible that I may occasionally land a job for a day or so that pays very well.
As for how much rent I am willing to pay, I am willing to pay no more than £700 a month.
If anyone knows of anywhere that has a spare room available within Hertfordshire, please let me know. Though I completely understand that there might not be anyone here who is able to help. If this post gets ignored, then that's totally fine.
Hope you're all doing good 😊
2023.06.04 18:17 lilacgarden990 pregnancy vs infertility
A couple of years back i had a fair few health issues that meant i was told that the chances of me getting pregnant in the future were pretty slim. At the time i was perfectly happy with this (partly because i was only 16) and came the conclusion in the future i was just going to adopt.
I recently got into a serious relationship with a guy, i told him about me not being able to have children and he understood and it never really mattered to him. After a little while of us being together my tune changed and i was legitimately upset that i couldn’t (far in the future) have a child with him. The thought of having a little us, or even seeing him with our friends children really made me emotional, but again i knew there was nothing i could do about it.
we’ve been together for half a year now, and the entire time we haven’t used protection. 6 months and no pregnancy scares or literally anything. the thought of me getting pregnant wasn’t even in my mind.
until a few days ago when i started feeling sick allot more than usual and decided to take a pregnancy test just in case. it was more of a joke test than serious but either which way it came back positive, as well as the 5 subsequent tests.
the thing is i’m only 20 years old, about to start a university degree (as is he). we are not the best versions of our self’s or anywhere near close enough to being able to raise a child. i know i can’t keep it- it’s not that i’m anti abortion, infact i’m very much pro choice.
there’s just a part of me that worries that if i do go through with it, i’ll be giving up my only chance at having my own children. he doesn’t seem as upset as i am, which i don’t expect him to be, nor does he understand why i’m so completely devastated by this. i feel like i can’t tell my parents or my friends as they will tell me the exact same thing, to get rid of it.
it’s probably not even more than a few weeks along, i know it’s literally lumps of cells but my god everything i do at the moment i’m terrified of hurting it. i’ve stopped drinking and smoking and started eating better purely because i don’t want to hurt it even though i have no plans on keeping it.
i just feel completely heartbroken, i know i need to do it but i just can’t come to terms with ending my only legitimate chance at my own kid.
submitted by lilacgarden990 to Vent [link] [comments]
I recently got into a serious relationship with a guy, i told him about me not being able to have children and he understood and it never really mattered to him. After a little while of us being together my tune changed and i was legitimately upset that i couldn’t (far in the future) have a child with him. The thought of having a little us, or even seeing him with our friends children really made me emotional, but again i knew there was nothing i could do about it.
we’ve been together for half a year now, and the entire time we haven’t used protection. 6 months and no pregnancy scares or literally anything. the thought of me getting pregnant wasn’t even in my mind.
until a few days ago when i started feeling sick allot more than usual and decided to take a pregnancy test just in case. it was more of a joke test than serious but either which way it came back positive, as well as the 5 subsequent tests.
the thing is i’m only 20 years old, about to start a university degree (as is he). we are not the best versions of our self’s or anywhere near close enough to being able to raise a child. i know i can’t keep it- it’s not that i’m anti abortion, infact i’m very much pro choice.
there’s just a part of me that worries that if i do go through with it, i’ll be giving up my only chance at having my own children. he doesn’t seem as upset as i am, which i don’t expect him to be, nor does he understand why i’m so completely devastated by this. i feel like i can’t tell my parents or my friends as they will tell me the exact same thing, to get rid of it.
it’s probably not even more than a few weeks along, i know it’s literally lumps of cells but my god everything i do at the moment i’m terrified of hurting it. i’ve stopped drinking and smoking and started eating better purely because i don’t want to hurt it even though i have no plans on keeping it.
i just feel completely heartbroken, i know i need to do it but i just can’t come to terms with ending my only legitimate chance at my own kid.
2023.06.04 18:16 No_Today_7511 Confession Mistake
I recently made a similar post on Catholicism, and was recommended by one of the commenters to come here. I should first mention that I am mentally ill and have an extreme case of OCD which quickly became scrupulocity starting in early high school. I recently had to take time off of school to attend a PHP (partial hospitalization program) which my OCD proved resistant to all forms of therapy tried. They have since recommended IHP but I don’t have time to travel across the country to live in a mental hospital.
I have been making sin lists for the past several months and taking them to Confession. The most recent one I calculated takes about 28 minutes long to read out loud, and that’s if I speak quickly. I made the mistake two days ago of taking the list to regular confession without realizing how long it was. As to be expected, the priest stopped me after ten minutes, frustrated, because I was taking up other people’s time. I felt guilty and scared as he gave me absolution that I didn’t deserve yet told me to read the act of contrition. I left in a state of shock.
At the time of writing this, I have called a different Church in my area (I’m afraid the two priests at the other church already know who I am) to make a private appointment. I have explained all the necessary details, including the length of the list. I know it won’t help. I’ll end up making another one within a few days.
I don’t know what to do in this situation. I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go to this appointment I’m trying to make. I hate the Church and I hate myself. This is the only thing that forces me to keep coming back to it. I have asked God to please take my life over this multiple times. My family thinks I’ve lost my mind and and that I’m fabricating everything.
I’m exhausted over this. I’m also scared of the Catholic Church because I’ve seen how they treat people who are “different.” They say God has mercy, but I’ve been around long enough to realize that His Church does not.
I’m sorry if I’ve said too much. I’m looking for a way out. I’ve been told by some commenters on my Catholicism post that I was forgiven, and by others to make an appointment.
So if anyone sees this, say what you will. I’m not asking that you solve my OCD and scruples for me because I know now that even professionals can’t. To do that would be cruel. So please don’t try that. And respectfully, I would like to not hear again about God’s merciful love or how He suffers with me through this or anything to that effect. I’ve grown sick of hearing it. If faith the size of a mustard seed is all that’s needed, mine has been split down to an atom.
I just want out. Out of here. Out of this. I’m done, man.
submitted by No_Today_7511 to AskAPriest [link] [comments]
I have been making sin lists for the past several months and taking them to Confession. The most recent one I calculated takes about 28 minutes long to read out loud, and that’s if I speak quickly. I made the mistake two days ago of taking the list to regular confession without realizing how long it was. As to be expected, the priest stopped me after ten minutes, frustrated, because I was taking up other people’s time. I felt guilty and scared as he gave me absolution that I didn’t deserve yet told me to read the act of contrition. I left in a state of shock.
At the time of writing this, I have called a different Church in my area (I’m afraid the two priests at the other church already know who I am) to make a private appointment. I have explained all the necessary details, including the length of the list. I know it won’t help. I’ll end up making another one within a few days.
I don’t know what to do in this situation. I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go to this appointment I’m trying to make. I hate the Church and I hate myself. This is the only thing that forces me to keep coming back to it. I have asked God to please take my life over this multiple times. My family thinks I’ve lost my mind and and that I’m fabricating everything.
I’m exhausted over this. I’m also scared of the Catholic Church because I’ve seen how they treat people who are “different.” They say God has mercy, but I’ve been around long enough to realize that His Church does not.
I’m sorry if I’ve said too much. I’m looking for a way out. I’ve been told by some commenters on my Catholicism post that I was forgiven, and by others to make an appointment.
So if anyone sees this, say what you will. I’m not asking that you solve my OCD and scruples for me because I know now that even professionals can’t. To do that would be cruel. So please don’t try that. And respectfully, I would like to not hear again about God’s merciful love or how He suffers with me through this or anything to that effect. I’ve grown sick of hearing it. If faith the size of a mustard seed is all that’s needed, mine has been split down to an atom.
I just want out. Out of here. Out of this. I’m done, man.
2023.06.04 18:15 aquarius01gurl Feel really depressed after moving out of my parent’s home
have moderate depression but lately, I’ve had some life changes and I believe my depression is getting worse. Around April, I got really sick out of nowhere. I lost a lot of weight due to my illness and missed out on a lot of work because I didn’t feel well and I also had to keep going to the doctor to see what was going on. Then In the beginning of May, I moved out of my parent’s house. I’m 22 yrs old, female and I live completely alone. No pets, no boyfriend but the guy I’m seeing does come to visit me frequently. I just feel so alone. I have to feed myself, get myself up for work, if I’m hungry, I can’t wait on my mom or dad to cook for me. I have to look out for myself. I still visit my parents very often. But Yesterday I just couldn’t stop crying. I don’t know why I just was extremely emotional and on top of that, I started having some suicidal thoughts.
I went silent and ghosted all of my family and closest people to me because I feel like my life is a mess and when I’m depressed, I tend to isolate myself from everyone. Including starting him from work. I miss being able to go out, & not worry about bills but now I have to worry about paying for my rent, car note, gas in car to get around town, food to eat, and extra stuff for example if I want my hair or nails done I have to wait for that because my bills come first. Nail salons are just getting too too expensive.
I was depressed while living in my parent’s house also due to some trauma. I am going to therapy and talking to my therapist about everything that’s been happening in my life. Is it normal to feel stressed out and depressed after moving out alone? I moved out 3 years ago at 19 but that time, I had roommates, I didn’t feel as depressed but this time is much different when you’re completely by yourself. I don’t want to move back in with my parents is not the point of me writing this. I’ve been on my own for about a month now. I guess because this is a huge life change, I just need to adapt to it? I’m thinking maybe I just could be homesick? How long after being away from your parents do people usually start to adjust?
submitted by aquarius01gurl to depression [link] [comments]
I went silent and ghosted all of my family and closest people to me because I feel like my life is a mess and when I’m depressed, I tend to isolate myself from everyone. Including starting him from work. I miss being able to go out, & not worry about bills but now I have to worry about paying for my rent, car note, gas in car to get around town, food to eat, and extra stuff for example if I want my hair or nails done I have to wait for that because my bills come first. Nail salons are just getting too too expensive.
I was depressed while living in my parent’s house also due to some trauma. I am going to therapy and talking to my therapist about everything that’s been happening in my life. Is it normal to feel stressed out and depressed after moving out alone? I moved out 3 years ago at 19 but that time, I had roommates, I didn’t feel as depressed but this time is much different when you’re completely by yourself. I don’t want to move back in with my parents is not the point of me writing this. I’ve been on my own for about a month now. I guess because this is a huge life change, I just need to adapt to it? I’m thinking maybe I just could be homesick? How long after being away from your parents do people usually start to adjust?
2023.06.04 18:15 CessnaSkyhawk How do people actually enjoy their jobs/careers?
I'm a rising junior mechE student who just started my first internship a few weeks ago and is currently reconsidering all my life choices. I just absolutely hate it. I wake up super early in the morning, commute 45 minutes to go sit in a cubicle for 8 hours either twiddling my thumbs or doing busy work (data entry, making copies, stuff like that), and then drive an hour back home (thanks traffic!), and end up having at best, an hour or hour and a half to just try and relax and do something I enjoy (play video games, maybe try and do something quick with a friend) between eating, showering, doing my chores, and getting ready for my next day at work - that and I also tend to be super tired by that point anyways, so I don't even really have the motivation to do anything anyways. Weekends are a little better, but it's still all overlain by that dread that I know that it's only a short respite before I'm going back to work, and the time then I still need to spend prepping for work. The only things I really can still find joy in are video games and spending time with friends, but even those are slowly losing their appeal.
I used to always dreamt about being an engineer and doing all sorts of cool stuff - I love space and have always dreamt of building rockets or space probes for NASA or doing something else cool like that, but at this point it just seems like all the dreams and things I was excited for were fake, and that my life is going to be working on excel and powerpoint for the next 40 years till I die.
submitted by CessnaSkyhawk to EngineeringStudents [link] [comments]
I used to always dreamt about being an engineer and doing all sorts of cool stuff - I love space and have always dreamt of building rockets or space probes for NASA or doing something else cool like that, but at this point it just seems like all the dreams and things I was excited for were fake, and that my life is going to be working on excel and powerpoint for the next 40 years till I die.
2023.06.04 18:14 Depressed_milkshake Why do people approach dogs without asking
I really hate people thinking they can approach my dog without asking
My dog is a really friendly, loving, dog. He’s a toy breed and even though he’s a fully grown adult he’ll always look like a puppy. Because of his breed he’s had some issues with reverse sneezing when he gets too excited, and with other dogs he doesn’t seem to understand boundaries and gets in the dogs faces because he’s so excited, so I’ve been trying to train him in public settings to stay calm around people and other dogs, he doesn’t bark he just gets really worked up and then goes into a sneezing episode and it makes it harder for him to breathe until the episodes over, or bothers other peoples dogs.
Today he had a grooming appointment, one of his favorites and I thought it would be a great oppertunity to train him while waiting in line with other dogs. He was doing great, staying calm, ignoring the dogs, and I was rewarding him for listening so well, The store hadn’t opened yet hence the lineup and a random lady saw my dog, started making kissy noises and beckoning him to come over and approaching him to pet. I said kindly, please don’t pet him I’m trying to train him right now, and she was not happy with that. She looked up so offended at me, and just stared me down. I refocused my dog and for the next 5 minutes or so of waiting she just glared at me, until I was let in. I can completely understand why she wanted to pet him, he looks Like a tiny little puppy, and who doesn’t love puppies. But she didn’t ask and interrupted my training. If she had asked I might’ve let her pet him and use it as an oppertunity to keep his cool while being pet but I don’t know if he’s even ready for that step yet because of how excited he is to be in the presence of a person, and then it triggers his sneezes.
I had another grown woman do the same thing again when I was in the checkout buying some dog food after his groom. He was in a lineup of people, focused on me and keeping his cool and a lady beind me started clapping making squeaky noises and in a baby voice go “ohh a little baby come here little puppy come get some pets ohh I love puppies” and this triggered a sneezing episode because he got so hyped up. I had to pick him up and I again just calmly explained sorry I’m training right now, I can’t let you pet him, as I was trying to help with his sneezing episode. She seemed butthurt she didn’t get to pet him but was a little more understanding seeing his sneezes.
Honestly I’m just frustrated with the lack of people asking to pet him.I thought it was common knowledge/courtesy to ask, even if you’re in a pet store. Of course he’s friendly, he’s just too friendly lol.
I really just hate the entitled people when it comes to trying to train or work with your dog. I need to start wearing a neon shirt that says “do not pet we’re training”
Does anyone have any advice for this, I honestly don’t know why people get so upset when I explain I’m training him,
submitted by Depressed_milkshake to Dogtraining [link] [comments]
My dog is a really friendly, loving, dog. He’s a toy breed and even though he’s a fully grown adult he’ll always look like a puppy. Because of his breed he’s had some issues with reverse sneezing when he gets too excited, and with other dogs he doesn’t seem to understand boundaries and gets in the dogs faces because he’s so excited, so I’ve been trying to train him in public settings to stay calm around people and other dogs, he doesn’t bark he just gets really worked up and then goes into a sneezing episode and it makes it harder for him to breathe until the episodes over, or bothers other peoples dogs.
Today he had a grooming appointment, one of his favorites and I thought it would be a great oppertunity to train him while waiting in line with other dogs. He was doing great, staying calm, ignoring the dogs, and I was rewarding him for listening so well, The store hadn’t opened yet hence the lineup and a random lady saw my dog, started making kissy noises and beckoning him to come over and approaching him to pet. I said kindly, please don’t pet him I’m trying to train him right now, and she was not happy with that. She looked up so offended at me, and just stared me down. I refocused my dog and for the next 5 minutes or so of waiting she just glared at me, until I was let in. I can completely understand why she wanted to pet him, he looks Like a tiny little puppy, and who doesn’t love puppies. But she didn’t ask and interrupted my training. If she had asked I might’ve let her pet him and use it as an oppertunity to keep his cool while being pet but I don’t know if he’s even ready for that step yet because of how excited he is to be in the presence of a person, and then it triggers his sneezes.
I had another grown woman do the same thing again when I was in the checkout buying some dog food after his groom. He was in a lineup of people, focused on me and keeping his cool and a lady beind me started clapping making squeaky noises and in a baby voice go “ohh a little baby come here little puppy come get some pets ohh I love puppies” and this triggered a sneezing episode because he got so hyped up. I had to pick him up and I again just calmly explained sorry I’m training right now, I can’t let you pet him, as I was trying to help with his sneezing episode. She seemed butthurt she didn’t get to pet him but was a little more understanding seeing his sneezes.
Honestly I’m just frustrated with the lack of people asking to pet him.I thought it was common knowledge/courtesy to ask, even if you’re in a pet store. Of course he’s friendly, he’s just too friendly lol.
I really just hate the entitled people when it comes to trying to train or work with your dog. I need to start wearing a neon shirt that says “do not pet we’re training”
Does anyone have any advice for this, I honestly don’t know why people get so upset when I explain I’m training him,
2023.06.04 18:14 Fuzzy_Boot800 Me(F) and Crazy/Creepy Male Roommate - Advice? (sorry very long but needed)
Hey guys so I(F25) just sublet a room for the summer until September. I saw this cheap room available with alot of perks (offstreet parking, 2 sets of free laundry, and close walking distance to the train station - a unicorn in the city!). My roomie Andrew (M/31) showed me the room and he was kinda weird looking around but I thought he had autism or just harmless weird. He showed me the room and explained the last person just packed up and left on the second day without a word because he thought the room would be furnished and it wasn't (red flag??). That kinda raised an alarm in my head but I needed to move from my slumlord situation I was in. I told my friends to see if I should pass on it but they said even though that is a red flag, the room and perks were nice that I should take it and will renew and ignore them if they're weird. A few hours later, he texted me that (Marvin/2nd roommate) wants my room and already started moving in his stuff and will also renew in that room (Andrew said the room has been open since March and I looked at the room maybe 6 days after the last person ran out but Marvin never cared for the room. (No one speaks to each other so no one knew if anyone was renewing - another red flag) so I have to look at the other room If I'm still interested (red flag).
I was pissed but my friends said its weird but just dont speak to Marvin at all so I came back the next day and the room seemed clean, it still had some of his furniture laid down in places but the room looked ok so I took it. I wasn't supposed to move in for a whole month but once I showed up on the first day to bring in my check and backpack, the now empty room had multiple large vomit and other(??) stains on the carpeted floor, the furniture he left behind was on purpose was to cover up the stains so I would move into that (red flag). I raised hell with the LL and he wasn't aware and called Marvin who took my room (because he created the stains and purposefully didn't tell the LL so they wouldn't clean it in advance). LL apologized for the room and sent cleaners the next day but I had to sleep over my friends house for 3 days until it dried. FYI I never met Marvin at all but he saw me walking in from outside to check the first room so he knows what I look like. He's gone atm but sent me a long crazy passive aggressive text (given by Andrew without my consent) saying welcome to our home and "hope I enjoy his room" and just nutty shit so I'm a bit uneasy on him and dont plan to renew just based on that whole ordeal.
On my first day staying here (slept at my friends, worked and came here straight from after work), I hauled all of my stuff that had to sit in the hallways, basement, and my car for the prior 3 days because the floor was soaking wet (took me like 5ish hrs). Andrew's room/door is set up in a way that he can see people coming in and out, his bed faces towards out the door and his door is always cracked open juuusst enough to see you but you cant see him. He was watching me haul everything up three flights of narrow stairs and it kinda irked me that he didn't help (I know he's NOT expected to and I shouldn't feel entitled to have help but I found out after he was snooping through my things (red flag) while I wasn't around so I'm like either be involved or completely back off from my things. He would also crank up the oven, which made the house a sauna and refuse to open the windows while I was moving stuff up 3 flight of stairs and sweating buckets from the heat he was causing (thought it was a coincidence and not overthink it) - I cracked open a window when he was done and went back in his room to eat to help the house cool down because I was still moving things [with no malice] (but this pissed him off and took great offense to it). He has a personal freezer chest and takes over the entire communal fridge and freezer with multiple almost empty boxes of the same frozen foods. I nicely asked him and another roommate (Greg - very helpful and chill, made me freezer space, doesnt use the fridge at all, doesnt leave his room unless its for the bathroom or leave the house) for freezefridge space because I dont want to be the new person touching peoples things off the bat. Greg understood but Andrew didn't move anything and placed his food on top of mine in the freezer after the fact as a passive aggressive thing. He stayed hidden in his room watching me while I was moving things but once I was done - he always comes out of his room when im out but I thought it was just a coincidence since ppl live and move around their home but it kept getting weird/creepy since he didnt do the same with Greg. I finally got to cook for the first time around 10pm and when I had my food cooking and go to do my laundry in the basement, he would run into the kitchen nonstop to see what I'm cooking once he heard me cooking from scratch and check my food timer to how long until its done expecting to eat my food.
With the weird shit adding up, Something in my spirit just told me before to even start cooking to make only one serving of food for the night and not leave anything in the communal fridge for leftovers and stick to my mini fridge. While I was doing my laundry, I came up real quick to check on something, I saw him opening all of the windows in the house (the side window was still open and it wasnt hot or smelled), he jumped and ran off like he got caught in the act (wtf?). I was totally creeped out and figured he was pissed from me opening the one window earlier and wanted to get back at me but he was hoping I wouldn't come back so quick so I wouldn't know who did it. Once my food was done, I immediately cleaned my pots and took it to my room with my food. Once I got to my room, he ran back to the kitchen hoping I would've left some leftovers there for him to eat. Once I finished eating and washing my dishes, he left his dishes in the sink expecting I would wash them but I just washed mine and left it on the table to pick it up on my way from grabbing my laundry. Once I got to the laundry room to pick up my dry clothes, I walked up the steps to find out he locked me out of the house because he was pissed there wasn't any food for him and saw my dishes were clean and waiting on the table. I had to knock on the door and he quickly ran down, staring at my feet and made no eye contact the entire time (wearing flipflops) saying "ohhh I didn't know you were down there" (he knew and I had a laundry bag propping the door open), I said was it you that locked out me out? he was like oh yea I had no idea you were even down there and just to be safe, I locked it. FYI the way the stairs loudly creaks, how the tiny house layout is you that know what is going on/who is where and he can see you leaving the bedroom area from his door.
Being so creeped out and haven't even been there a full day/not even unpacked, I immediately got up early next morning to finish washing my blankets and beddings and then went to home depot to change my doorknob to have a lock on the outside. While I had everything in the washer and went to HD quick, when I came back to put things in the dryer, his laundry bag is put out in front of the washer as in a "get a move on/ive been waiting all day" way. I moved my stuff to the dryer and left the washers open as a way to let him open its available and immediately went to my room to switch the knobs. Ever since that morning (9am) hes been propped up in the living room (no tv) loudly having conversations to himself and laughing to himself (not like casual oh roomie watching something but like full-blown conversations and full on belly/screaming laughter). He camped in the living room so long, I figured hes been waiting to watch me cook breakfast and to intimidate me into giving him my food so I had to make lunch in my room (unfortunately Ill have to cook everything in my room from now on and IF I need the stove/oven, Ill have to stay there and not leave my food unattended).
Once I came down at like 3p, to wash my dishes, he still kept his dishes from before there from last night but added more on top of the sink hole for me to have to acknowledge it and to wash it like you ""forgot this+do it"" while hes right next to me in the living room (kitchen and living room are close together). I pushed it to the side and washed my dishes and went back into my room. I stayed in my room for a few hrs until I had to leave for a friends party but as I was getting ready to leave, he loudly started clashing dishes around, slamming the soap bottle on the table and loudly scrubbing showing in a way that hes pissed that he had to wash them and "look at what your making me do" passive aggressive thing (Greg has been gone for a few hrs already). Andrew and Greg don't speak at all (no one here talks to each other but I know why now) and he keeps his door closed and solely operates by his minifridge and has a couch in his room so he doesn't have to interact with Andrew.
Once I left for my friends bday party, Andrew car was gone - once I got back at night, as soon as I got up the stairs, I had my brother call me to talk to me on speakerphone to show a male presence - I heard Andrew run as hard as he could into his room (he was waiting for me because I left without him knowing and thought I had an actual guy with me so he got scared). Once I got to my room and hung up, as soon as I leave my room, he noticed it was just a call and he left "casually whistling" and staring at me and went downstairs. This has been my second day here (first full day) and hes extremely passive aggressive/crazy hoping I would be his maid, live-in gf and cook and lashing out. I told my family and friends but I don't think they truly get it since theyre not physically here experiencing it. Im not planning on renewing and hope to move out in august (just first and last) and renew somewhere else that's all girls because this is traumatizing. (Andrew is 100% leaving in August for work but this will be a rough summer and I haven't even met Marvin yet but I know hes off his rocker too).
Any advice???
submitted by Fuzzy_Boot800 to badroommates [link] [comments]
I was pissed but my friends said its weird but just dont speak to Marvin at all so I came back the next day and the room seemed clean, it still had some of his furniture laid down in places but the room looked ok so I took it. I wasn't supposed to move in for a whole month but once I showed up on the first day to bring in my check and backpack, the now empty room had multiple large vomit and other(??) stains on the carpeted floor, the furniture he left behind was on purpose was to cover up the stains so I would move into that (red flag). I raised hell with the LL and he wasn't aware and called Marvin who took my room (because he created the stains and purposefully didn't tell the LL so they wouldn't clean it in advance). LL apologized for the room and sent cleaners the next day but I had to sleep over my friends house for 3 days until it dried. FYI I never met Marvin at all but he saw me walking in from outside to check the first room so he knows what I look like. He's gone atm but sent me a long crazy passive aggressive text (given by Andrew without my consent) saying welcome to our home and "hope I enjoy his room" and just nutty shit so I'm a bit uneasy on him and dont plan to renew just based on that whole ordeal.
On my first day staying here (slept at my friends, worked and came here straight from after work), I hauled all of my stuff that had to sit in the hallways, basement, and my car for the prior 3 days because the floor was soaking wet (took me like 5ish hrs). Andrew's room/door is set up in a way that he can see people coming in and out, his bed faces towards out the door and his door is always cracked open juuusst enough to see you but you cant see him. He was watching me haul everything up three flights of narrow stairs and it kinda irked me that he didn't help (I know he's NOT expected to and I shouldn't feel entitled to have help but I found out after he was snooping through my things (red flag) while I wasn't around so I'm like either be involved or completely back off from my things. He would also crank up the oven, which made the house a sauna and refuse to open the windows while I was moving stuff up 3 flight of stairs and sweating buckets from the heat he was causing (thought it was a coincidence and not overthink it) - I cracked open a window when he was done and went back in his room to eat to help the house cool down because I was still moving things [with no malice] (but this pissed him off and took great offense to it). He has a personal freezer chest and takes over the entire communal fridge and freezer with multiple almost empty boxes of the same frozen foods. I nicely asked him and another roommate (Greg - very helpful and chill, made me freezer space, doesnt use the fridge at all, doesnt leave his room unless its for the bathroom or leave the house) for freezefridge space because I dont want to be the new person touching peoples things off the bat. Greg understood but Andrew didn't move anything and placed his food on top of mine in the freezer after the fact as a passive aggressive thing. He stayed hidden in his room watching me while I was moving things but once I was done - he always comes out of his room when im out but I thought it was just a coincidence since ppl live and move around their home but it kept getting weird/creepy since he didnt do the same with Greg. I finally got to cook for the first time around 10pm and when I had my food cooking and go to do my laundry in the basement, he would run into the kitchen nonstop to see what I'm cooking once he heard me cooking from scratch and check my food timer to how long until its done expecting to eat my food.
With the weird shit adding up, Something in my spirit just told me before to even start cooking to make only one serving of food for the night and not leave anything in the communal fridge for leftovers and stick to my mini fridge. While I was doing my laundry, I came up real quick to check on something, I saw him opening all of the windows in the house (the side window was still open and it wasnt hot or smelled), he jumped and ran off like he got caught in the act (wtf?). I was totally creeped out and figured he was pissed from me opening the one window earlier and wanted to get back at me but he was hoping I wouldn't come back so quick so I wouldn't know who did it. Once my food was done, I immediately cleaned my pots and took it to my room with my food. Once I got to my room, he ran back to the kitchen hoping I would've left some leftovers there for him to eat. Once I finished eating and washing my dishes, he left his dishes in the sink expecting I would wash them but I just washed mine and left it on the table to pick it up on my way from grabbing my laundry. Once I got to the laundry room to pick up my dry clothes, I walked up the steps to find out he locked me out of the house because he was pissed there wasn't any food for him and saw my dishes were clean and waiting on the table. I had to knock on the door and he quickly ran down, staring at my feet and made no eye contact the entire time (wearing flipflops) saying "ohhh I didn't know you were down there" (he knew and I had a laundry bag propping the door open), I said was it you that locked out me out? he was like oh yea I had no idea you were even down there and just to be safe, I locked it. FYI the way the stairs loudly creaks, how the tiny house layout is you that know what is going on/who is where and he can see you leaving the bedroom area from his door.
Being so creeped out and haven't even been there a full day/not even unpacked, I immediately got up early next morning to finish washing my blankets and beddings and then went to home depot to change my doorknob to have a lock on the outside. While I had everything in the washer and went to HD quick, when I came back to put things in the dryer, his laundry bag is put out in front of the washer as in a "get a move on/ive been waiting all day" way. I moved my stuff to the dryer and left the washers open as a way to let him open its available and immediately went to my room to switch the knobs. Ever since that morning (9am) hes been propped up in the living room (no tv) loudly having conversations to himself and laughing to himself (not like casual oh roomie watching something but like full-blown conversations and full on belly/screaming laughter). He camped in the living room so long, I figured hes been waiting to watch me cook breakfast and to intimidate me into giving him my food so I had to make lunch in my room (unfortunately Ill have to cook everything in my room from now on and IF I need the stove/oven, Ill have to stay there and not leave my food unattended).
Once I came down at like 3p, to wash my dishes, he still kept his dishes from before there from last night but added more on top of the sink hole for me to have to acknowledge it and to wash it like you ""forgot this+do it"" while hes right next to me in the living room (kitchen and living room are close together). I pushed it to the side and washed my dishes and went back into my room. I stayed in my room for a few hrs until I had to leave for a friends party but as I was getting ready to leave, he loudly started clashing dishes around, slamming the soap bottle on the table and loudly scrubbing showing in a way that hes pissed that he had to wash them and "look at what your making me do" passive aggressive thing (Greg has been gone for a few hrs already). Andrew and Greg don't speak at all (no one here talks to each other but I know why now) and he keeps his door closed and solely operates by his minifridge and has a couch in his room so he doesn't have to interact with Andrew.
Once I left for my friends bday party, Andrew car was gone - once I got back at night, as soon as I got up the stairs, I had my brother call me to talk to me on speakerphone to show a male presence - I heard Andrew run as hard as he could into his room (he was waiting for me because I left without him knowing and thought I had an actual guy with me so he got scared). Once I got to my room and hung up, as soon as I leave my room, he noticed it was just a call and he left "casually whistling" and staring at me and went downstairs. This has been my second day here (first full day) and hes extremely passive aggressive/crazy hoping I would be his maid, live-in gf and cook and lashing out. I told my family and friends but I don't think they truly get it since theyre not physically here experiencing it. Im not planning on renewing and hope to move out in august (just first and last) and renew somewhere else that's all girls because this is traumatizing. (Andrew is 100% leaving in August for work but this will be a rough summer and I haven't even met Marvin yet but I know hes off his rocker too).
Any advice???
2023.06.04 18:13 Drobex Tired of being so emotionally wrecked
I apologize for this wall of text but I need to vent and get this out of my system.
Romantic relationships have always been a pain for me, to the point that I always sabotaged myself. I can't really recall a point in my life when love was just a positive experience for me, I always ended up feeling like I had been emotionally exploited by girls who needed a distraction but didn't actually want anything with me (not necessarily in a conscious way, I don't really blame them). Things always ended very quickly for me, or they never really began after months of involvement and dating and confusion. I don't believe in bad luck, but I also don't think I am the whole problem. I mean, of course I am part of the issue, I know how and why I'm scarred and why I wasted some opportunities when they presented themselves, I know why there's a little voice in the back of my head whenever I meet someone I'm interested in, telling me that I'm just deluding myself and that things will always go wrong, and at multiple points in my life I started believing I was a weirdo, that something was wrong with me which put off others, that somehow I was a huge giant red flag pushing people away, but when I talked about it with friends hoping for some sort of wake up call they all told me that they never quite understood why my romantic life has always been so bad, and that they really were sorry to always see me get beaten down. And believe me when I say that some of my friends have been part of my life since we were kids, we're basically family, and we never had problems pointing out our flaws when we felt like it had to be done to help each other. Apparently I am "normal" after all. Talking with my loved ones about how I felt about myself and hearing their feedback helped me heal, to the point that last year I really started feeling happy with myself and my self-consciousness and my social life. I felt like the best version of me I ever was.
Which is why when last october I met her I felt like I could open again emotionally. Needless to say, it was terrible. We just clicked, almost immediately. We liked each other's company and I really felt well, understood and cared for when I was with her, and I was happy that she told me she felt the same way. It didn't take long for me to realize I had feelings for her. Things went quite slow tbh, both because of my insecurities and because she was trying to figure out what she felt for me, it was only in february that we openly started to talk about us and where our friendship was going, I told her how I felt and she told me that she was confused and didn't know what she wanted. That was the worst part, because after that talk the flirting game went full on, we always found ourselves being very close and intimate to each other, we would just sit in some bar or go for walks and spend hours talking and joking and cuddling and sharing looks, and I was so stupidly happy, but I felt like there was a wall that she was holding up between us. I felt like I was in highschool again, it was all so stupid really.
Long story short, after a crisis that happened because when I finally asked her what the hell we were doing and it turned out neither lf us really did know, we finally got together. We just said "let's try or we'll never know". After a week she dumped me. This happened three months ago, after three months of games. She told me she realized she didn't really feel anything towards me and that when she found herself in a situation where she had to think about me as something more than a friend it just didn't work in her mind. I was so emotionally drained that for the first week it felt like it was alright. Like I didn't really have feelings for her, like it had been a long fever dream. Then shit hit the fan and I have been feeling miserable again since. We stayed good friends for a while, but then I just had to tell her that it was too overwhelming for me, that I needed to distance myself from her because it's so damn painful to be with somebody I care so much for and have so much fun with, even now, and think about what happened and know that it was all another big lie (well, this last bit I kept for myself). She just told me that she was sorry, that she understood, that she didn't want to impose any demands on me, but that she also didn't really feel the need to hang out with me or hear from me anymore. Fair.
But I really don't understand why. Why do people play with others' feelings like they are nothing? If you realize you don't know what you feel, if you realize you don't want a relationship, if you are so confused about what you want why would you act otherwise? Why did we spend so much time flirting and cuddling and being all sweet and whatever if she didn't know what the fuck she wanted when I had made it so clear that I was ready for commitment and we already had an established relationship? Did we really need to get intimate for her to understand it just wasn't it? What was it, a hookup with extra steps for the trhill of extra emotional involvement? It's so easy to say "well, we did say that we were just going to try, nothing was set in stone" aftwerwards, and yeah, those were the terms we both agreed upon, but when she told me that all she needed to understand that she actually felt nothing, after months of whatever that was during which we talked about it until exhaustion, was just three days together after a week of not talking to each other because of that crisis, I just really felt like I was being mocked, not by her maybe, but by life.
Today I just found out she's hooking up with random guys, even if back then she told me she just wasn't able to have meaningless relationships. I'm not judging her, good for her that she finally figured out what she wants, even back then from the things she told me I had figured out that that could have been the issue, but even after three months it just felt like a punch in the guts. Back to square one I guess, but God, sometimes I really wish I was totally apathetic, I'm just so fucking tired. And I can't just shake away the feeling that when I'll get over her and meet someone else it'll just go badly again.
submitted by Drobex to BreakUps [link] [comments]
Romantic relationships have always been a pain for me, to the point that I always sabotaged myself. I can't really recall a point in my life when love was just a positive experience for me, I always ended up feeling like I had been emotionally exploited by girls who needed a distraction but didn't actually want anything with me (not necessarily in a conscious way, I don't really blame them). Things always ended very quickly for me, or they never really began after months of involvement and dating and confusion. I don't believe in bad luck, but I also don't think I am the whole problem. I mean, of course I am part of the issue, I know how and why I'm scarred and why I wasted some opportunities when they presented themselves, I know why there's a little voice in the back of my head whenever I meet someone I'm interested in, telling me that I'm just deluding myself and that things will always go wrong, and at multiple points in my life I started believing I was a weirdo, that something was wrong with me which put off others, that somehow I was a huge giant red flag pushing people away, but when I talked about it with friends hoping for some sort of wake up call they all told me that they never quite understood why my romantic life has always been so bad, and that they really were sorry to always see me get beaten down. And believe me when I say that some of my friends have been part of my life since we were kids, we're basically family, and we never had problems pointing out our flaws when we felt like it had to be done to help each other. Apparently I am "normal" after all. Talking with my loved ones about how I felt about myself and hearing their feedback helped me heal, to the point that last year I really started feeling happy with myself and my self-consciousness and my social life. I felt like the best version of me I ever was.
Which is why when last october I met her I felt like I could open again emotionally. Needless to say, it was terrible. We just clicked, almost immediately. We liked each other's company and I really felt well, understood and cared for when I was with her, and I was happy that she told me she felt the same way. It didn't take long for me to realize I had feelings for her. Things went quite slow tbh, both because of my insecurities and because she was trying to figure out what she felt for me, it was only in february that we openly started to talk about us and where our friendship was going, I told her how I felt and she told me that she was confused and didn't know what she wanted. That was the worst part, because after that talk the flirting game went full on, we always found ourselves being very close and intimate to each other, we would just sit in some bar or go for walks and spend hours talking and joking and cuddling and sharing looks, and I was so stupidly happy, but I felt like there was a wall that she was holding up between us. I felt like I was in highschool again, it was all so stupid really.
Long story short, after a crisis that happened because when I finally asked her what the hell we were doing and it turned out neither lf us really did know, we finally got together. We just said "let's try or we'll never know". After a week she dumped me. This happened three months ago, after three months of games. She told me she realized she didn't really feel anything towards me and that when she found herself in a situation where she had to think about me as something more than a friend it just didn't work in her mind. I was so emotionally drained that for the first week it felt like it was alright. Like I didn't really have feelings for her, like it had been a long fever dream. Then shit hit the fan and I have been feeling miserable again since. We stayed good friends for a while, but then I just had to tell her that it was too overwhelming for me, that I needed to distance myself from her because it's so damn painful to be with somebody I care so much for and have so much fun with, even now, and think about what happened and know that it was all another big lie (well, this last bit I kept for myself). She just told me that she was sorry, that she understood, that she didn't want to impose any demands on me, but that she also didn't really feel the need to hang out with me or hear from me anymore. Fair.
But I really don't understand why. Why do people play with others' feelings like they are nothing? If you realize you don't know what you feel, if you realize you don't want a relationship, if you are so confused about what you want why would you act otherwise? Why did we spend so much time flirting and cuddling and being all sweet and whatever if she didn't know what the fuck she wanted when I had made it so clear that I was ready for commitment and we already had an established relationship? Did we really need to get intimate for her to understand it just wasn't it? What was it, a hookup with extra steps for the trhill of extra emotional involvement? It's so easy to say "well, we did say that we were just going to try, nothing was set in stone" aftwerwards, and yeah, those were the terms we both agreed upon, but when she told me that all she needed to understand that she actually felt nothing, after months of whatever that was during which we talked about it until exhaustion, was just three days together after a week of not talking to each other because of that crisis, I just really felt like I was being mocked, not by her maybe, but by life.
Today I just found out she's hooking up with random guys, even if back then she told me she just wasn't able to have meaningless relationships. I'm not judging her, good for her that she finally figured out what she wants, even back then from the things she told me I had figured out that that could have been the issue, but even after three months it just felt like a punch in the guts. Back to square one I guess, but God, sometimes I really wish I was totally apathetic, I'm just so fucking tired. And I can't just shake away the feeling that when I'll get over her and meet someone else it'll just go badly again.
2023.06.04 18:13 Unremarkable_ What a game! Coming from a former WoW player. Some questions
My human wizard is at level six and I am already blown away by the detail of this game. I started a few different characters in different starting areas, including an Iksar and a Halfling. I also really liked the Dwarf starting city.
It wasn't until I loaded into Freeport last weekend that the game really came to life. I will explain why below. Some awesome things I want to point out.
I want to group for leveling almost exclusively. On Green Server. Best choice of server? I am just not interested in another WoW experience of soloing my way to max level. Even if it takes a bit longer, I want to play with others.
submitted by Unremarkable_ to project1999 [link] [comments]
It wasn't until I loaded into Freeport last weekend that the game really came to life. I will explain why below. Some awesome things I want to point out.
- The world. I can't believe something this big and complex existed as long ago as 1999. I've played a lot of games, but EverQuest feels like a "real" world. I think the first person POV camera has a lot to do with this. When I was a halfling and encountered an ogre, it was memorable. I am not even sure the ogre noticed me! I've been into the Commonlands tunnel. I can't imagine how poorly this must have run on computers in 1999, there are so many people there. It's exciting. I am inspecting and seeing cool looking weapons and armor. People are offering teleports to far off lands, which makes me feel like there are distant places to explore. I want to get to the level to visit there too and play those areas!
- The people. I didn't have so much interaction in Misty Thicket or elsewhere. Maybe it's just a byproduct of Freeport being a larger hub, but even as a lowly level 1-5 wizard with a dagger, higher level players have been keen to interact, help, and give advice in really meaningful ways. For example, I was selling my loot to the first vendor inside Freeport, an ogre, and someone directed me to a different vendor around the corner who gives better prices. I love the "Hail" button and have learned to press it at everyone I pass. It just feels friendly, but 9 times out of 10, people will stop and chat or even cast an enhancement on me. I've made the majority of my leveling experience with some of these enhancements, which almost feels like cheating. It's very helpful. One person even handed me 22 platinum, which I spent on a backpack and some spells at my class trainer. Which reminds me, I could not find my class trainer in Freeport for the life of me. There's some stairs around a corner, someone helped with that too. I can't even remember all of the times I've interacted with another real person in a good way and I'm only level six.
- The danger! Outside of the Freeport area, near the guards, I can be easily clubbing a wolf to death and suddenly I've got a mummy hitting me in the back. There is a need for constant awareness. You have to know where you are, in case you die. I'd be probably level 7 or 8 but for the time I spent searching for my belongings in the hills of the Commonlands.
I want to group for leveling almost exclusively. On Green Server. Best choice of server? I am just not interested in another WoW experience of soloing my way to max level. Even if it takes a bit longer, I want to play with others.
- Am I playing the right class for this? Wizard seems so cool to me, but maybe no one wants to group with one? Should I be the one trying to form groups or putting on /LFG? So far I have had to solo, sit and meditate, solo some more. I would rather kill more difficult monsters with friends.
- At what level should I start on crafting/tradeskills? Which ones to do? Is it worth my time? I have very basic gear and have no idea if this could be helpful?
- The lack of a mailbox is the only thing I miss from WoW. If I were to re-roll as a different character based on question 1, how to I transfer my considerable fortune (18 platinum) to the new character?
2023.06.04 18:13 nyc_engineer1 Best outlier pants to pair with a dark blue blazer and button up shirt?
Attending a destination wedding and rolling right into a vacation after, need to fit everything in a carry on. I have a dark blue blazer I'll be bringing and want to get some Outlier pants that I can dress up a bit with but also wear for the duration of my vacation as a casual pant. I haven't bought an Outlier item in a while so wanted to check what you guys might suggest with all the new designs.
I have an old pair of bomb dungarees, and while I love the fit they may be a bit too casual (mainly because of the pocket rivets and more jean-like structure) for the wedding. I'm thinking along the lines of the futuredarts or the futureslimworks (what's the main difference here?) or maybe even the Injected Linen Pants (wedding is in Vancouver, so not exactly a hot location but maybe still a good pant to wear generally for summer, especially back in NYC where I live).
Anyways, any recommendations are appreciated! I'm hoping to get something maybe in a dark grey color since the pants would need to pair with both my dark navy blue blazer and black dress shoes (still unsure what kind of shirt I'm going to wear).
submitted by nyc_engineer1 to Outlier [link] [comments]
I have an old pair of bomb dungarees, and while I love the fit they may be a bit too casual (mainly because of the pocket rivets and more jean-like structure) for the wedding. I'm thinking along the lines of the futuredarts or the futureslimworks (what's the main difference here?) or maybe even the Injected Linen Pants (wedding is in Vancouver, so not exactly a hot location but maybe still a good pant to wear generally for summer, especially back in NYC where I live).
Anyways, any recommendations are appreciated! I'm hoping to get something maybe in a dark grey color since the pants would need to pair with both my dark navy blue blazer and black dress shoes (still unsure what kind of shirt I'm going to wear).
2023.06.04 18:12 Cybernetic_Warrior55 Dealing with hardware in leg for SFAS and beyond
Greetings all,
For background, I'm a 25 year old Marine Reservist with a good bit of active time under his belt. I've been training for SFAS and Warrior Shit for a while now, but suffered a setback last year when I broke my tibia and fibula during sparring. I had a good surgeon who performed an ORIF on my leg and now I have a rod and two plates in me. Rehab went very well and I experienced no complications. I resumed weightlifting and swimming/running as soon as I was able to and am in better overall shape now than before I was injured.
My question is this: I have full ROM in both of my ankles, and the fracture itself is completely healed. The only indication I was ever injured are the scars, and some occasional stiffness in my knee which is becoming less frequent. As far as "normal" life and training goes, I'm %110. I'd like to keep it that way as I start racking up the mileage. If anyone who has experience conditioning an extremity that is titanium reinforced is willing to share any wisdom that would be greatly appreciated. There is a paucity of information about this; most of what I found dealt with ankle fractures not shins, which leads me to believe it's either a non-issue when the joints are unaffected, or there aren't many people who break their lower legs and get back into running/fighting.
Finally, since I know it will come up, I have accepted the fact that this may potentially be a nonstarter. I'll probably need a waiver, but it may not be granted. I may find out in the course that the injury I sustained actually physically prevents me reaching the standard, no matter what training I do. But I would rather become the best I can be and be told it's not good enough, than self select and give up now.
Appreciate your time. Shoutout TFVooDoo, I read your book and it was very helpful. I'll be coming up to Hoffman to train with you soon.
submitted by Cybernetic_Warrior55 to greenberets [link] [comments]
For background, I'm a 25 year old Marine Reservist with a good bit of active time under his belt. I've been training for SFAS and Warrior Shit for a while now, but suffered a setback last year when I broke my tibia and fibula during sparring. I had a good surgeon who performed an ORIF on my leg and now I have a rod and two plates in me. Rehab went very well and I experienced no complications. I resumed weightlifting and swimming/running as soon as I was able to and am in better overall shape now than before I was injured.
My question is this: I have full ROM in both of my ankles, and the fracture itself is completely healed. The only indication I was ever injured are the scars, and some occasional stiffness in my knee which is becoming less frequent. As far as "normal" life and training goes, I'm %110. I'd like to keep it that way as I start racking up the mileage. If anyone who has experience conditioning an extremity that is titanium reinforced is willing to share any wisdom that would be greatly appreciated. There is a paucity of information about this; most of what I found dealt with ankle fractures not shins, which leads me to believe it's either a non-issue when the joints are unaffected, or there aren't many people who break their lower legs and get back into running/fighting.
Finally, since I know it will come up, I have accepted the fact that this may potentially be a nonstarter. I'll probably need a waiver, but it may not be granted. I may find out in the course that the injury I sustained actually physically prevents me reaching the standard, no matter what training I do. But I would rather become the best I can be and be told it's not good enough, than self select and give up now.
Appreciate your time. Shoutout TFVooDoo, I read your book and it was very helpful. I'll be coming up to Hoffman to train with you soon.
2023.06.04 18:12 bravoeverything I can’t stand how my kids make my life so much more difficult
Like I want to cry. I love my kids (I feel like I need a disclaimer) but I was just about to start filing some laundry and one of them left a crayon in their pocket and the entire load is ruined. And then I went to fix up my bed and saw that there is smoothie all over my new duvet cover and it is such a challenge to take it off, wash it and then get it back on. Like I want to cry. I can’t stand how much harder my life is bc of them and I get so jealous of parents that “just love being parents” and can handle the difficulties so much easier. I am so sick of everything being so much harder all of the time. I’m in therapy and on meds but clearly it’s not enough.
And my kids don’t help out with anything around the house and make such a mess all of the time. They are 4 and 9. I don’t even know how I can get them to help or what they can do for their ages. My 9yo has adhd as well and can barely get ready by himself (still) I am just so tired and sick of it
submitted by bravoeverything to ADHD [link] [comments]
And my kids don’t help out with anything around the house and make such a mess all of the time. They are 4 and 9. I don’t even know how I can get them to help or what they can do for their ages. My 9yo has adhd as well and can barely get ready by himself (still) I am just so tired and sick of it
2023.06.04 18:12 SpyroGaming What ive seen so far and what needs fixing
this is an evaluation of what i see so far
Monsters: for some reason the game leans to heavily towards monsters now that unless the player dosent know how to play its a slaughter fest, in addition proximity audio seems to be gone, meaning if the monster gets to a certain closeness, the volume dosent get any louder its not until the chase music kicks in you have to worry but by the time your already getting smacked, server migrations, which happen almost every game nowadays, also reset all cooldowns
Boxy Boo: the box jump was nerfed way to much
Mommy: no longer has audio when being pulled by her arm, which makes her incredibly silent, not sure if a bug or intended
Huggy: mini huggys when using alternate characters like the killy willy skin seem to not have that skin applied occasionally
Theater Map: there seems to be some issues here, for example puzzle pillar frames seems to be there but the puzzles are not, this seems most common on the one right at the stairs to the main train station, the hole right above the station also seems to have a hitbox issue
Sewers: invisible huggies seem to be back, ive been attacked even when no mini huggies are visible
Incinerator: map is beautiful but way to crowded, its easy for RES's to get lost and huggy is the only monster that can really work here
Collage Puzzle: this puzzle seems to occasionally break, this seems to be an issue mostly when a sabatoge is used that interrupts its use, pretty much permanently disabling it
Train: the train itself is a problem, not only does it not open up when theres only 1 player left ( at least not for a long time) but when first loading in you get massive frame drops until you get off
Toy Assembler: audio seems to be broken, it dips in and out for RESs and is completely mute for the monster
Progression: coding seems abit wonky, you get the error messages like you did last season but also sometimes it breaks the toy box and there also seems to be an xp issue, in many cases i have to reload the game
Server Migration: this breaks the game entirely, if a server has a migration ( and it quite normally does) you lose alot of players on the RESs side making it alot easier for the monster to win there needs to be a better system for migrations so its not kicking players from the game
Communication: chat needs abit of tweaking, most games have a world/party/team system, in my opinion it be nice if the monster could communicate with RESs in some situations, such as when the monster is being nice, as squatting and swatting at stuff isnt really clear
Audio: natural audio itself seems funky, for example a monsters walking is incredibly loud but the jump-scare noise is almost deathly quiet, i feel like in the long run the audio menu should be broken down so everything can be individualized
Note to complainers: ive been in a number of games now where players have complained about the monster being a tryhard targeter, 1. theres no name tags we cant tell whos who, this is made worse by the fact by 2. half the lobby is using the golden huggy skin ( which im sick of seeing alongside the robot monster skins
Skins: Huggy needs more love, aside from the toy box and the easter skin he really dosent have much compared to the others, both mommy and boxy have dominated the first toy box and the valentines and st Patrick's event and now the store as well
Maps: the maps are pretty, but this is supposed to be a run down abandoned facility, why do they look like state of the art buildings that grand opened yesterday?
Emotes: the dance emotes ( and certain ones like the threatening fist emote on both sides should continue to animate until cancelled by input
submitted by SpyroGaming to ProjectPlaytime [link] [comments]
Monsters: for some reason the game leans to heavily towards monsters now that unless the player dosent know how to play its a slaughter fest, in addition proximity audio seems to be gone, meaning if the monster gets to a certain closeness, the volume dosent get any louder its not until the chase music kicks in you have to worry but by the time your already getting smacked, server migrations, which happen almost every game nowadays, also reset all cooldowns
Boxy Boo: the box jump was nerfed way to much
Mommy: no longer has audio when being pulled by her arm, which makes her incredibly silent, not sure if a bug or intended
Huggy: mini huggys when using alternate characters like the killy willy skin seem to not have that skin applied occasionally
Theater Map: there seems to be some issues here, for example puzzle pillar frames seems to be there but the puzzles are not, this seems most common on the one right at the stairs to the main train station, the hole right above the station also seems to have a hitbox issue
Sewers: invisible huggies seem to be back, ive been attacked even when no mini huggies are visible
Incinerator: map is beautiful but way to crowded, its easy for RES's to get lost and huggy is the only monster that can really work here
Collage Puzzle: this puzzle seems to occasionally break, this seems to be an issue mostly when a sabatoge is used that interrupts its use, pretty much permanently disabling it
Train: the train itself is a problem, not only does it not open up when theres only 1 player left ( at least not for a long time) but when first loading in you get massive frame drops until you get off
Toy Assembler: audio seems to be broken, it dips in and out for RESs and is completely mute for the monster
Progression: coding seems abit wonky, you get the error messages like you did last season but also sometimes it breaks the toy box and there also seems to be an xp issue, in many cases i have to reload the game
Server Migration: this breaks the game entirely, if a server has a migration ( and it quite normally does) you lose alot of players on the RESs side making it alot easier for the monster to win there needs to be a better system for migrations so its not kicking players from the game
Communication: chat needs abit of tweaking, most games have a world/party/team system, in my opinion it be nice if the monster could communicate with RESs in some situations, such as when the monster is being nice, as squatting and swatting at stuff isnt really clear
Audio: natural audio itself seems funky, for example a monsters walking is incredibly loud but the jump-scare noise is almost deathly quiet, i feel like in the long run the audio menu should be broken down so everything can be individualized
Note to complainers: ive been in a number of games now where players have complained about the monster being a tryhard targeter, 1. theres no name tags we cant tell whos who, this is made worse by the fact by 2. half the lobby is using the golden huggy skin ( which im sick of seeing alongside the robot monster skins
Skins: Huggy needs more love, aside from the toy box and the easter skin he really dosent have much compared to the others, both mommy and boxy have dominated the first toy box and the valentines and st Patrick's event and now the store as well
Maps: the maps are pretty, but this is supposed to be a run down abandoned facility, why do they look like state of the art buildings that grand opened yesterday?
Emotes: the dance emotes ( and certain ones like the threatening fist emote on both sides should continue to animate until cancelled by input
2023.06.04 18:12 BrosAnAlien crying over a homestuck animatic
I mourn a realtionship i dont want anymore
MM upset me today by brushing off and not engaging in something i was really excited about, i explained this all to him and he accpeted it but as i was explaining i realised why being ignored hurts me so much
when i ramble about things i like to people, its a form of pebbling (an autistic way of showing affection) and so when people brush it off it feels like theyre brushing away my affection
something to add to that, my dad always did this and ignored my interestsi didnt feel good enough to tell him things about things i liked becasue he always found a way to spin it
the thing i was tleling MM about was a homestuck video that made me really happy becasue it was si lly and fun and he refused to watch it and said he hated homestuck and didnt want to
this is understandable and i dont wanna force him to but i was in such a good mood and it all cam crashing down
wlel iwasnt in a great mood ive been so anxious all day and im not really sure why
so i decidedto watch a davekat animatic that came up on my youtube feed, and i started to sob.
i had already been crying a little bit from the MM convo but this really hit
MM also did stuff like this while we were together and it all came flooding back and i used to put us into the roles of dave and karkat so this song about them being in love made me hurt even more than before
especially because MM sent all the stuff i used to send to MMBF, this really hurt and i cant be mad at him for it really, before i dated MM the previous year i dated a different guy and did this same comparison
so itd be hypocritical to actually be upset
but i am upset so i guess im a hypocrite
i started watching the animatic again and im about to flood tears again
its not only us anymore and we arent in love and he doesnt love me and he never did and he loves MMBF now and never me, we talked about all this last week, i loved him but he didnt love me not properly he has "never felt this way before!" he said and that made me sob because the way he was describing feeling was exactly how i felt about him
i dont even want to date him anymore, hes not someone i could date again i just oculdnmt we arent compatible romantically or sexually
but i still loved him
and im so fucking lonely
its not only us its you and him now and just me
just me by myself
and he moved on so quickly and no one wants me
i wasnt enough i couldnt help him i couldnt fix him i jsut made it all worse
i broke it all
"what if its us?" what if its just me and myself alone in my room on a sunday afternoon at 16:54 ugly crying silently so i dont freak out my mother and sister
what if he and his new bf are way happier together than me and him were and i wasnt enoguh i wasnt good enough i was terrible and a failure and im never the one they actually want
his boyfriend has access to his account bc of some stuff and i was talking to MMBF last night, and he read through our old messages and i felt so naked and revealed it was terrifying
he stopped when i asked but it was so
scary
here is the animatic that made me cry:
Only Us - Davekat Homestuck Animatic
There is no clearing the slate no clearing the noises because no one loves me like this and maybe they never will maybe im way too difficult and completely unlovable
i cant seem to let the past go at all i wish i could hate him becasue that made things so much easier
the same with m ydad stuff, i still think about all the stuff he did and i cant let it go even with how nice hes being now
and i have such a comparitably easy life,
like im not abused im not unloved i have friends and family and yet im still so ungrateful
i feel so guilty and full of shame and i have no one to tell about it because they all need my help
and im a hypocrite
i tell everyone to put themselves first but i dont do that
im so self-aware and yet such an idiot at the same time
with davekat stuff, it used to make me so happy and silly and giggly about MM but now al it makes me feel is miserable
and now thats his thing with his bf
and im left in the dust
theres so many things i wanna say to him but i dont wanna make him feel guilty and upset
"davekat makes me sad now"
ITS SO STUPID
MY FEELIGNS R POINTLESS NONE OF THIS MATTERS AT ALL
i wish i could truly inhibit optimistic nihilism because in truth NONE of this matters
who cares if 1 in 8,000,000,000 people is upset, and for such a first world problem in such a stupid way
and so he vents somewhere no one else will ever read because it gives him the feeling of someone to talk to
normal people keep a diary
but im a fucking idiot loser with ego problems and an inflated feeling of importance
and ik im just saying this to be mean to myself but its true
how do i get rid of the feeling that im special and important
im not a main character in life no one is, im just another guy
ill never be important or famous people will forget i existed in probably about 200 years just like billions of people before me
i hafve never had or will ever have an original thought
if i was important id be the self-pitying character who is so up their own ass its crazy
i am so angry at myself for everything i feel
im living in such a 3rd person that im mad at myself for being mad at myself for being mad at myself
its painful and confusing
i feel stupid for having these emotions but i know i shouldnt but also i feel that i should
and then i view myself as better than others for having literacy over my emotions except i dont have literacy over my emotions half the time
and i am almost delusional except i also know that im not because if i was i wouldn't KNOW i was delusional
sdometimes i wish i could off myself just to end the circular thoughts
stop thinking for a while
i wish i thought linearly like some people
i wish i was ignorant to myself
i wish i could have a therapist
i wish i could have a therapist that can fix me
i wish i could be fixed
i wish i was dumber
i wish i didnt think of myself at smart
i wish i could be humble
i wish i could be less fucking self critical
submitted by BrosAnAlien to alienposts [link] [comments]
MM upset me today by brushing off and not engaging in something i was really excited about, i explained this all to him and he accpeted it but as i was explaining i realised why being ignored hurts me so much
when i ramble about things i like to people, its a form of pebbling (an autistic way of showing affection) and so when people brush it off it feels like theyre brushing away my affection
something to add to that, my dad always did this and ignored my interestsi didnt feel good enough to tell him things about things i liked becasue he always found a way to spin it
the thing i was tleling MM about was a homestuck video that made me really happy becasue it was si lly and fun and he refused to watch it and said he hated homestuck and didnt want to
this is understandable and i dont wanna force him to but i was in such a good mood and it all cam crashing down
wlel iwasnt in a great mood ive been so anxious all day and im not really sure why
so i decidedto watch a davekat animatic that came up on my youtube feed, and i started to sob.
i had already been crying a little bit from the MM convo but this really hit
MM also did stuff like this while we were together and it all came flooding back and i used to put us into the roles of dave and karkat so this song about them being in love made me hurt even more than before
especially because MM sent all the stuff i used to send to MMBF, this really hurt and i cant be mad at him for it really, before i dated MM the previous year i dated a different guy and did this same comparison
so itd be hypocritical to actually be upset
but i am upset so i guess im a hypocrite
i started watching the animatic again and im about to flood tears again
its not only us anymore and we arent in love and he doesnt love me and he never did and he loves MMBF now and never me, we talked about all this last week, i loved him but he didnt love me not properly he has "never felt this way before!" he said and that made me sob because the way he was describing feeling was exactly how i felt about him
i dont even want to date him anymore, hes not someone i could date again i just oculdnmt we arent compatible romantically or sexually
but i still loved him
and im so fucking lonely
its not only us its you and him now and just me
just me by myself
and he moved on so quickly and no one wants me
i wasnt enough i couldnt help him i couldnt fix him i jsut made it all worse
i broke it all
"what if its us?" what if its just me and myself alone in my room on a sunday afternoon at 16:54 ugly crying silently so i dont freak out my mother and sister
what if he and his new bf are way happier together than me and him were and i wasnt enoguh i wasnt good enough i was terrible and a failure and im never the one they actually want
his boyfriend has access to his account bc of some stuff and i was talking to MMBF last night, and he read through our old messages and i felt so naked and revealed it was terrifying
he stopped when i asked but it was so
scary
here is the animatic that made me cry:
Only Us - Davekat Homestuck Animatic
There is no clearing the slate no clearing the noises because no one loves me like this and maybe they never will maybe im way too difficult and completely unlovable
i cant seem to let the past go at all i wish i could hate him becasue that made things so much easier
the same with m ydad stuff, i still think about all the stuff he did and i cant let it go even with how nice hes being now
and i have such a comparitably easy life,
like im not abused im not unloved i have friends and family and yet im still so ungrateful
i feel so guilty and full of shame and i have no one to tell about it because they all need my help
and im a hypocrite
i tell everyone to put themselves first but i dont do that
im so self-aware and yet such an idiot at the same time
with davekat stuff, it used to make me so happy and silly and giggly about MM but now al it makes me feel is miserable
and now thats his thing with his bf
and im left in the dust
theres so many things i wanna say to him but i dont wanna make him feel guilty and upset
"davekat makes me sad now"
ITS SO STUPID
MY FEELIGNS R POINTLESS NONE OF THIS MATTERS AT ALL
i wish i could truly inhibit optimistic nihilism because in truth NONE of this matters
who cares if 1 in 8,000,000,000 people is upset, and for such a first world problem in such a stupid way
and so he vents somewhere no one else will ever read because it gives him the feeling of someone to talk to
normal people keep a diary
but im a fucking idiot loser with ego problems and an inflated feeling of importance
and ik im just saying this to be mean to myself but its true
how do i get rid of the feeling that im special and important
im not a main character in life no one is, im just another guy
ill never be important or famous people will forget i existed in probably about 200 years just like billions of people before me
i hafve never had or will ever have an original thought
if i was important id be the self-pitying character who is so up their own ass its crazy
i am so angry at myself for everything i feel
im living in such a 3rd person that im mad at myself for being mad at myself for being mad at myself
its painful and confusing
i feel stupid for having these emotions but i know i shouldnt but also i feel that i should
and then i view myself as better than others for having literacy over my emotions except i dont have literacy over my emotions half the time
and i am almost delusional except i also know that im not because if i was i wouldn't KNOW i was delusional
sdometimes i wish i could off myself just to end the circular thoughts
stop thinking for a while
i wish i thought linearly like some people
i wish i was ignorant to myself
i wish i could have a therapist
i wish i could have a therapist that can fix me
i wish i could be fixed
i wish i was dumber
i wish i didnt think of myself at smart
i wish i could be humble
i wish i could be less fucking self critical
2023.06.04 18:11 _this_corrosion_ 12,000 Extreme Weather Deaths Occurred In The History Of The Capitol At Risk.
The bigger your footprint in areas that could cause trouble, the more polemical writing of, in particular Marx and Lenin. You don't owe any loyalty to a company like Black Rock Investments, except it's a charity. The daugher in law goes to the death at the first swing, we will not fire the first sight of my loved ones. Its like they had it much better when they were now.. like how the fuck is that I'm becoming more miserable, if not just sad over it.
I don't know how we will not back down and relax. All the financial advice message me, I am so excited to give me the raise, of course, she needs to be. My direct boss and I in the military fighting in trenches of Iraq. Did they really think I would rather leave my current employer but due to the inability for most to comprehend the work as it is and how to use it.
I know not all people who reinstate wealth legislation so that they could get a dollar raise. I didn't know where to post this, but if you do not realize it.
submitted by _this_corrosion_ to subreddit_simulacrum [link] [comments]
I don't know how we will not back down and relax. All the financial advice message me, I am so excited to give me the raise, of course, she needs to be. My direct boss and I in the military fighting in trenches of Iraq. Did they really think I would rather leave my current employer but due to the inability for most to comprehend the work as it is and how to use it.
I know not all people who reinstate wealth legislation so that they could get a dollar raise. I didn't know where to post this, but if you do not realize it.
2023.06.04 18:11 ThrowRA_lifewhy My spiritual leader is against my boyfriend
I know my boyfriend for 3 years, I know his flaws and desires. We broke up 4 months ago, and got back together a month later. I was so confused in deciding if we should get back together. I've been bombarded with different advices, but got more confused. So I end up not seeking advice from anyone and spend a week to have a reflection on my own. I needed that silence. Fast forward today, we end up being together, and I didn't regret any decision that I have but my organization is against it. They said he is nonbeliever. Basically my boyfriend was so lost during our break up, he needed emotional support. A male spiritual leader invited him to go to church. I thought he was planning to go just to see me, but I guess I was wrong, he told me his intensions were pure and wanted to go with them while we were on a break. And I think it's true because I rarely go to church with them every sunday due to schedule for reviews. I mostly go with my family.
Fast forward when we were having bible study at my spiritual leader's house. She was protective of me. My boyfriend tried to approach me, and it was such a wrong timing, he went to my spiritual laders house just to talked to me. He was trying everything he could so we could get back together, which created conflict because my spiritual leader was against it.
After all that drama, I decided to spend the decision making all by my self which ended up , us getting back together. After the news, my spiritual leader was devastated. She told me that my boyfriend is nonbeliever. But I think they just misunderstood him because of the language barrier too. My boyfriend is not good in understanding and explaining himself in english. My spiritual leader is against him because they see him as 'nonbeliever.' and this the reason why: after that conflict, my boyfriend doesn't prefer to go to my organization. He didn't like how they were creating decision for us, and mendling with our lives. I tried explaining it to him that they just cared for me. Despite the explaination, my boyfriend still prefer not to see them again.
It created more conflict since they think my boyfriend is a nonbeliver who just went to church with them, just to see me, and never tried to approach them again.
He said he forgives them, and moved on. Another reason why he prefers not to go back to the organization due to 1on1 studies because he's an introvert, working and doesn't really have the time due to schedule conflict. He still reads the bible and tries to be active on his own church if he have the time. Im so frustrated that they view him as non believer, just because he doesn't approve of their organization. He believes in God, have faith in Him. I just dislike how the spiritual leaders were being dismisive. They even guilt trip my decision because they said it was not biblical. This is due to listening to my own advice, not from them which is considered nonbiblical. They even said he is not good for me because he is not yet a disciple maker. Which is very frustrating because Im happy with my boyfriend right now and I didn't regret getting back with him. I understand the 'yolked concept' but he is also still growing his faith, I can see that, I dont mendle with his growth to prevent codependency. He leads me, and reminds me to pray every single day. And it's just frustrating that they judged him this way.
submitted by ThrowRA_lifewhy to Christianity [link] [comments]
Fast forward when we were having bible study at my spiritual leader's house. She was protective of me. My boyfriend tried to approach me, and it was such a wrong timing, he went to my spiritual laders house just to talked to me. He was trying everything he could so we could get back together, which created conflict because my spiritual leader was against it.
After all that drama, I decided to spend the decision making all by my self which ended up , us getting back together. After the news, my spiritual leader was devastated. She told me that my boyfriend is nonbeliever. But I think they just misunderstood him because of the language barrier too. My boyfriend is not good in understanding and explaining himself in english. My spiritual leader is against him because they see him as 'nonbeliever.' and this the reason why: after that conflict, my boyfriend doesn't prefer to go to my organization. He didn't like how they were creating decision for us, and mendling with our lives. I tried explaining it to him that they just cared for me. Despite the explaination, my boyfriend still prefer not to see them again.
It created more conflict since they think my boyfriend is a nonbeliver who just went to church with them, just to see me, and never tried to approach them again.
He said he forgives them, and moved on. Another reason why he prefers not to go back to the organization due to 1on1 studies because he's an introvert, working and doesn't really have the time due to schedule conflict. He still reads the bible and tries to be active on his own church if he have the time. Im so frustrated that they view him as non believer, just because he doesn't approve of their organization. He believes in God, have faith in Him. I just dislike how the spiritual leaders were being dismisive. They even guilt trip my decision because they said it was not biblical. This is due to listening to my own advice, not from them which is considered nonbiblical. They even said he is not good for me because he is not yet a disciple maker. Which is very frustrating because Im happy with my boyfriend right now and I didn't regret getting back with him. I understand the 'yolked concept' but he is also still growing his faith, I can see that, I dont mendle with his growth to prevent codependency. He leads me, and reminds me to pray every single day. And it's just frustrating that they judged him this way.